A Sentence for Two

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Transcript

Pregnancy inside this Oregon prison for women is anything but a joyous celebration of new life. Women who deliver their babies in prison have few options; if they can't find a family member to care for the infant, they will need to place it in foster care, or choose adoption. In any case, the newborn will be separated from its mother at birth, with a very real possibility that the two will never be reunited.

Christina, Trisha and Kristin are pregnant, and are facing years behind bars. Their newborns will face an uncertain future. The three women share the personal details of their pregnancies, incarceration and deliveries as they struggle with the agonizing search for safe and healthy homes for their babies and as one plan after another falls apart. A fourth inmate, Tangerine, adds the perspective of someone who has already been through it.

By contrast, a few states have prison nurseries where inmates can keep their newborns with them. The documentary visits Bedford Hills Correctional Facility in New York, where Dr. Mary Byrne of Columbia University has been studying the development of babies during their first year of life inside a prison environment. As the number of women in prison continues its dramatic rise, her findings may have a major impact on planning to better meet the needs of incarcerated women and their babies.

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Main credits

Jacobs, Randi (Director)
Jacobs, Randi (Screenwriter)
Dixon, Dee (Screenwriter)

Other credits

Director of photography, Sal Collura; editor, Kelcey Boyce; original music, Mark Alan.

MARC Record See Worldcat record

Keywords

film ; video; documentary; DVD; pregnant; pregnancy; corrections facility; prison; adoption; foster care; incarceration; women; women's health; inmate; newborn baby; newborn; nursery; nurseries; Columbia University; Bedford Hills; Mary Byrne; Oregon; New York; infant; infant care; neonatal care; neonatal,"A Sentence for Two",The Fanlight Collection,doc

WEBVTT

00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.420 align:middle line:90%

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[MUSIC - MARK ALAN, \"WHERE YOU
BEEN?\"]

00:00:05.020 --> 00:00:58.190 align:middle line:90%

00:00:58.190 --> 00:01:01.030 align:middle line:84%
My name\'s Christina, and I\'m
serving 65 month sentence

00:01:01.030 --> 00:01:03.309 align:middle line:84%
on identity theft and
possession of meth.

00:01:03.309 --> 00:01:05.850 align:middle line:84%
And I was six months pregnant
when I arrived at Coffee Creek.

00:01:05.850 --> 00:01:11.400 align:middle line:90%

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My name\'s Kristin, and I am
serving a 34 month sentence.

00:01:15.830 --> 00:01:20.190 align:middle line:84%
I\'m here for rob three,
identity theft, and theft one.

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And I arrived at Coffee Creek
when I was six months pregnant.

00:01:22.865 --> 00:01:34.060 align:middle line:90%

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My name Trisha, and
I have been sentenced

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to 36 months at Coffee
Creek Correctional Facility.

00:01:40.450 --> 00:01:43.700 align:middle line:90%
And I am eight months pregnant.

00:01:43.700 --> 00:01:46.320 align:middle line:90%
I\'ve only been here three weeks.

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And I was-- my crime
is assault two.

00:01:51.870 --> 00:01:59.980 align:middle line:90%

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My name is Tangerine.

00:02:02.480 --> 00:02:05.620 align:middle line:84%
I\'ve been out of
prison for six weeks.

00:02:05.620 --> 00:02:10.289 align:middle line:84%
I served a 32 months
sentence, and I went to prison

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at one month pregnant.

00:02:11.280 --> 00:02:17.330 align:middle line:90%

00:02:17.330 --> 00:02:23.310 align:middle line:84%
My relationship with my
father-- it was almost

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like I always had to help
him, because he was always

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loaded on heroin, nodding
and having burnt cigarettes

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in his hands, almost
catching things on fire.

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I remember being a
little girl and holding

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in my hand between seven and
nine bags of colorful balloons

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that were filled with heroin.

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I remember finding my dad in
the bathroom with the needle

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in his arm and him just
laid up against the toilet.

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My mother didn\'t really
know what was going on.

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I really don\'t think she did.

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But I knew what was going on.

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I mean, I knew that that
was all drugs and stuff.

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My father was a heroin addict
as long as I can remember.

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I\'m an only child.

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My parents divorced
when I was three,

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and my mom\'s been alcoholic
pretty much my entire life.

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My dad was a heroin addict,
so I wasn\'t close to my family

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much at all.

00:03:28.470 --> 00:03:29.890 align:middle line:90%
I had a pretty rough life.

00:03:29.890 --> 00:03:33.685 align:middle line:84%
I got pregnant for the first
time when I was 17 and got

00:03:33.685 --> 00:03:37.190 align:middle line:84%
an education and
raised-- then I ended up

00:03:37.190 --> 00:03:41.310 align:middle line:84%
having two children
by the time I was 20.

00:03:41.310 --> 00:03:45.490 align:middle line:84%
Was very responsible and
had a good job, husband,

00:03:45.490 --> 00:03:46.190 align:middle line:90%
the whole bit.

00:03:46.190 --> 00:03:51.500 align:middle line:84%
And life just kind of got
to me, and I slipped in

00:03:51.500 --> 00:03:54.200 align:middle line:84%
and have been
struggling ever since.

00:03:54.200 --> 00:03:55.430 align:middle line:90%
My dad was very abusive.

00:03:55.430 --> 00:03:57.230 align:middle line:90%
An alcoholic.

00:03:57.230 --> 00:04:00.480 align:middle line:84%
And my mother was on
drugs all the time.

00:04:00.480 --> 00:04:03.950 align:middle line:90%
I never really seen her much.

00:04:03.950 --> 00:04:05.290 align:middle line:90%
So my dad raised us.

00:04:05.290 --> 00:04:06.130 align:middle line:90%
He was very abusive.

00:04:06.130 --> 00:04:09.650 align:middle line:84%
So I moved out of home
early, when I was about 12.

00:04:09.650 --> 00:04:11.930 align:middle line:90%
Been on my own since then.

00:04:11.930 --> 00:04:16.100 align:middle line:84%
My childhood was my
grandparents raised me.

00:04:16.100 --> 00:04:19.089 align:middle line:90%
My mom died when I was two.

00:04:19.089 --> 00:04:21.519 align:middle line:84%
She was killed by
a drunk driver.

00:04:21.519 --> 00:04:27.875 align:middle line:84%
And my father used drugs,
so he wasn\'t around.

00:04:27.875 --> 00:04:29.630 align:middle line:90%
So I had a good childhood.

00:04:29.630 --> 00:04:32.100 align:middle line:90%
Came from a good family.

00:04:32.100 --> 00:04:40.770 align:middle line:84%
Our family values were
integrity, character, love,

00:04:40.770 --> 00:04:42.860 align:middle line:90%
and support.

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All the things a family has.

00:04:45.820 --> 00:04:50.410 align:middle line:84%
Prison could happen to anybody
if you make a wrong choice.

00:04:50.410 --> 00:04:53.440 align:middle line:84%
It doesn\'t matter if you come
from a good family or not.

00:04:53.440 --> 00:04:58.320 align:middle line:84%
My husband chose to
use drugs and there

00:04:58.320 --> 00:05:01.950 align:middle line:84%
was ugly domestic
violence over a car seat.

00:05:01.950 --> 00:05:08.430 align:middle line:84%
So, I assaulted him
getting the car seat,

00:05:08.430 --> 00:05:10.100 align:middle line:90%
and so that\'s why I\'m here.

00:05:10.100 --> 00:05:12.090 align:middle line:90%
I have never been arrested.

00:05:12.090 --> 00:05:14.030 align:middle line:90%
I\'ve never used drugs.

00:05:14.030 --> 00:05:15.350 align:middle line:90%
Social drinks.

00:05:15.350 --> 00:05:16.799 align:middle line:90%
So, that\'s it.

00:05:16.799 --> 00:05:18.840 align:middle line:84%
It\'s the worst thing in
the world to be arrested.

00:05:18.840 --> 00:05:22.470 align:middle line:90%

00:05:22.470 --> 00:05:27.850 align:middle line:84%
My addiction to meth has led
to all of my criminal activity.

00:05:27.850 --> 00:05:35.790 align:middle line:84%
After having four years in
recovery, I got the \"I\'m cured\"

00:05:35.790 --> 00:05:37.610 align:middle line:90%
attitude, I guess you could say.

00:05:37.610 --> 00:05:43.090 align:middle line:84%
I had gotten off of a three
year probation sentence.

00:05:43.090 --> 00:05:49.250 align:middle line:84%
And I guess to celebrate, one
night I went out to dinner

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and decided that I was cured
and I could have a drink.

00:05:52.750 --> 00:05:56.380 align:middle line:84%
And that drink led to many
more and those many more

00:05:56.380 --> 00:05:59.000 align:middle line:90%
led to more meth use.

00:05:59.000 --> 00:06:01.690 align:middle line:84%
In the meantime, ended
up getting pregnant.

00:06:01.690 --> 00:06:04.920 align:middle line:84%
Was not expecting to come
Coffee Creek for a prison

00:06:04.920 --> 00:06:10.150 align:middle line:84%
sentence but fortunately,
that\'s where I ended up.

00:06:10.150 --> 00:06:13.540 align:middle line:84%
Now I\'m here, pregnant, and
have to make some choices.

00:06:13.540 --> 00:06:19.210 align:middle line:84%
In most of the cases
that I sentence,

00:06:19.210 --> 00:06:23.800 align:middle line:84%
whether or not the
defendant is pregnant really

00:06:23.800 --> 00:06:28.330 align:middle line:84%
doesn\'t have any bearing on
the sentence that I impose.

00:06:28.330 --> 00:06:32.770 align:middle line:84%
Partly that\'s because
most of the sentences

00:06:32.770 --> 00:06:36.900 align:middle line:84%
are negotiated and
recommendations to the judge.

00:06:36.900 --> 00:06:39.840 align:middle line:84%
And the prosecutor
and the defense lawyer

00:06:39.840 --> 00:06:43.800 align:middle line:84%
have shaped a sentence
that makes sense.

00:06:43.800 --> 00:06:46.140 align:middle line:84%
And I just simply
follow the deal.

00:06:46.140 --> 00:06:50.880 align:middle line:84%
As I got older, probably
around 10 or 11,

00:06:50.880 --> 00:06:57.080 align:middle line:84%
I started become where I didn\'t
feel like I was getting love.

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So I started becoming
incorrigible,

00:07:00.550 --> 00:07:04.130 align:middle line:84%
and my mother couldn\'t
handle me no more.

00:07:04.130 --> 00:07:09.670 align:middle line:84%
So, they started sending
me to my grandmother\'s.

00:07:09.670 --> 00:07:13.340 align:middle line:84%
And that\'s when my uncle
started molesting me.

00:07:13.340 --> 00:07:18.490 align:middle line:84%
And nobody would really believe
me when I would tell them,

00:07:18.490 --> 00:07:20.540 align:middle line:84%
so I just kept it
secret and I just

00:07:20.540 --> 00:07:22.120 align:middle line:90%
didn\'t tell anybody anymore.

00:07:22.120 --> 00:07:25.450 align:middle line:84%
I was sexually abused
when I was younger

00:07:25.450 --> 00:07:28.060 align:middle line:84%
by one of my
mother\'s boyfriends.

00:07:28.060 --> 00:07:30.690 align:middle line:84%
And that went on
for a few years.

00:07:30.690 --> 00:07:33.370 align:middle line:84%
And I never got counseling
or any treatment for that.

00:07:33.370 --> 00:07:38.410 align:middle line:84%
So now I suffer from
PTSD because of that.

00:07:38.410 --> 00:07:44.370 align:middle line:84%
And my two older children
have been sexually assaulted,

00:07:44.370 --> 00:07:48.020 align:middle line:90%
so it\'s been pretty rough.

00:07:48.020 --> 00:07:51.770 align:middle line:84%
It\'s very rare that we find
a female inmate that does not

00:07:51.770 --> 00:07:56.730 align:middle line:84%
have one or more of the
abuses in her background,

00:07:56.730 --> 00:08:04.500 align:middle line:84%
whether it\'s sexual,
mental, physical abuse.

00:08:04.500 --> 00:08:07.430 align:middle line:84%
You pretty much name all the
different types of abuses

00:08:07.430 --> 00:08:11.850 align:middle line:84%
that they could have undergone
as a child or young woman,

00:08:11.850 --> 00:08:14.160 align:middle line:84%
they\'ve seen that
in their background.

00:08:14.160 --> 00:08:17.610 align:middle line:84%
The vast majority of
them suffer from that.

00:08:17.610 --> 00:08:21.220 align:middle line:84%
And because of that,
usually developmentally

00:08:21.220 --> 00:08:25.820 align:middle line:84%
they\'ve stopped progressing at
the age that started happening.

00:08:25.820 --> 00:08:28.305 align:middle line:84%
And then their drug and
alcohol usage usually

00:08:28.305 --> 00:08:30.530 align:middle line:84%
has started at about
that age, because they\'re

00:08:30.530 --> 00:08:32.909 align:middle line:90%
using it to medicate themselves.

00:08:32.909 --> 00:08:35.419 align:middle line:84%
So many of the people
that we have emotionally

00:08:35.419 --> 00:08:39.400 align:middle line:84%
are in the early teens, because
they stopped developing.

00:08:39.400 --> 00:08:43.919 align:middle line:84%
I was heavily on
drugs and thought

00:08:43.919 --> 00:08:45.630 align:middle line:90%
that I had lost it all anyway.

00:08:45.630 --> 00:08:51.190 align:middle line:84%
I had lost my kids and
I lost my self worth.

00:08:51.190 --> 00:08:54.040 align:middle line:84%
I thought in my head,
what did I have to lose?

00:08:54.040 --> 00:08:56.330 align:middle line:90%
I\'ve lost it all.

00:08:56.330 --> 00:09:01.210 align:middle line:84%
So I just kept using
drugs to kill off the pain

00:09:01.210 --> 00:09:04.180 align:middle line:84%
and to numb all my
feelings and emotions.

00:09:04.180 --> 00:09:07.950 align:middle line:90%
And I didn\'t care anymore.

00:09:07.950 --> 00:09:10.610 align:middle line:84%
I used meth for the first
time when I was 12 years old.

00:09:10.610 --> 00:09:16.148 align:middle line:84%
My mother gave it me for
the first time in my life.

00:09:16.148 --> 00:09:22.840 align:middle line:84%
And I\'ve been using it ever
since then, besides a couple

00:09:22.840 --> 00:09:26.610 align:middle line:84%
years when I was pregnant
and happily married.

00:09:26.610 --> 00:09:30.560 align:middle line:84%
I pretty much knew
that I was pregnant

00:09:30.560 --> 00:09:32.420 align:middle line:90%
when I was committing crimes.

00:09:32.420 --> 00:09:36.152 align:middle line:84%
It\'s just pretty much
the whole drugs scenario.

00:09:36.152 --> 00:09:37.610 align:middle line:84%
You really don\'t
think you\'re going

00:09:37.610 --> 00:09:39.480 align:middle line:90%
to get caught until it happens.

00:09:39.480 --> 00:09:41.740 align:middle line:84%
You don\'t ever
think of the future.

00:09:41.740 --> 00:09:43.650 align:middle line:84%
You always just think
about how you\'re

00:09:43.650 --> 00:09:45.600 align:middle line:84%
going to get what
you\'re going to get.

00:09:45.600 --> 00:09:50.400 align:middle line:84%
I chose a life that was
full of drugs, crime.

00:09:50.400 --> 00:09:54.600 align:middle line:84%
People I knew, everybody I knew,
everybody I know is on drugs.

00:09:54.600 --> 00:09:59.870 align:middle line:84%
So I chose a life of crime
to support my drug habit.

00:09:59.870 --> 00:10:06.370 align:middle line:84%
And everything just [SNIFFS]
went downhill from there.

00:10:06.370 --> 00:10:08.170 align:middle line:90%
And here I sit.

00:10:08.170 --> 00:10:09.945 align:middle line:84%
I am actually depressed
a lot of the day.

00:10:09.945 --> 00:10:11.710 align:middle line:90%
I sleep a lot.

00:10:11.710 --> 00:10:13.585 align:middle line:84%
I try to talk-- there\'s
a few people in there

00:10:13.585 --> 00:10:15.010 align:middle line:84%
that I know that
I try to talk to.

00:10:15.010 --> 00:10:16.500 align:middle line:90%
I try to read.

00:10:16.500 --> 00:10:18.620 align:middle line:84%
I just try not to
think about too much,

00:10:18.620 --> 00:10:20.150 align:middle line:90%
because it gets me depressed.

00:10:20.150 --> 00:10:20.950 align:middle line:90%
It\'s hard.

00:10:20.950 --> 00:10:23.330 align:middle line:90%
It\'s very hard.

00:10:23.330 --> 00:10:25.530 align:middle line:84%
Being pregnant in
prison is very hard.

00:10:25.530 --> 00:10:29.660 align:middle line:90%

00:10:29.660 --> 00:10:35.850 align:middle line:84%
Especially when you ain\'t got no
family to help you out or call.

00:10:35.850 --> 00:10:38.840 align:middle line:90%
[CRYING] I have no one to call.

00:10:38.840 --> 00:10:41.140 align:middle line:90%
Nobody to help me out.

00:10:41.140 --> 00:10:42.734 align:middle line:90%
So I\'m pretty much on my own.

00:10:42.734 --> 00:10:46.526 align:middle line:90%
[SNIFFS]

00:10:46.526 --> 00:10:48.900 align:middle line:90%
[DOOR SLAMS]

00:10:48.900 --> 00:10:52.220 align:middle line:84%
When you go through
the prison doors,

00:10:52.220 --> 00:10:58.450 align:middle line:84%
you see the women who
are comfortable there.

00:10:58.450 --> 00:11:01.610 align:middle line:90%
That people are OK there.

00:11:01.610 --> 00:11:03.240 align:middle line:84%
Some people feel
they\'re safe there.

00:11:03.240 --> 00:11:05.840 align:middle line:84%
Me, I felt safe
when I got there.

00:11:05.840 --> 00:11:08.580 align:middle line:84%
I was scared, but I felt
safe because, well, I

00:11:08.580 --> 00:11:11.190 align:middle line:90%
had a place to live.

00:11:11.190 --> 00:11:14.160 align:middle line:90%
I had food every day.

00:11:14.160 --> 00:11:16.830 align:middle line:84%
But I never called it,
or never thought of it

00:11:16.830 --> 00:11:20.160 align:middle line:90%
in my head as home.

00:11:20.160 --> 00:11:22.530 align:middle line:90%
I\'ve been very fortunate.

00:11:22.530 --> 00:11:26.680 align:middle line:84%
Some women just don\'t
talk to everybody here.

00:11:26.680 --> 00:11:30.570 align:middle line:84%
But the ones that do reach
out to you are very nice.

00:11:30.570 --> 00:11:34.360 align:middle line:84%
They tend to take care of
you, because you are pregnant.

00:11:34.360 --> 00:11:37.950 align:middle line:84%
That\'s been my experience
while I\'m here.

00:11:37.950 --> 00:11:39.680 align:middle line:84%
I\'ve only been
here a short time.

00:11:39.680 --> 00:11:44.850 align:middle line:84%
I just recently moved
to a dorm atmosphere.

00:11:44.850 --> 00:11:47.170 align:middle line:90%
You have no walls.

00:11:47.170 --> 00:11:51.780 align:middle line:84%
So you wake up and you see
everybody\'s right there.

00:11:51.780 --> 00:11:55.252 align:middle line:84%
We can go outside if we
want, or we can read, write.

00:11:55.252 --> 00:11:58.150 align:middle line:90%

00:11:58.150 --> 00:12:01.200 align:middle line:84%
I don\'t socialize much
with the other inmates.

00:12:01.200 --> 00:12:01.993 align:middle line:90%
Just a few.

00:12:01.993 --> 00:12:06.380 align:middle line:90%

00:12:06.380 --> 00:12:10.880 align:middle line:84%
Just if you have a radio, you
listen to the radio a lot.

00:12:10.880 --> 00:12:15.830 align:middle line:84%
The hardest part about being in
prison is just being in prison.

00:12:15.830 --> 00:12:20.460 align:middle line:84%
When you open your eyes
and you\'re still here.

00:12:20.460 --> 00:12:24.040 align:middle line:90%

00:12:24.040 --> 00:12:25.220 align:middle line:90%
We\'re going to my cell.

00:12:25.220 --> 00:12:30.320 align:middle line:90%

00:12:30.320 --> 00:12:32.490 align:middle line:90%
We\'re going to do open adoption.

00:12:32.490 --> 00:12:36.550 align:middle line:84%
Giving my baby up for adoption
has been a hard choice,

00:12:36.550 --> 00:12:40.520 align:middle line:84%
but I think at this point,
it\'s the best option.

00:12:40.520 --> 00:12:44.990 align:middle line:84%
Because I\'ve been through
DHS with my three girls,

00:12:44.990 --> 00:12:52.210 align:middle line:84%
and it\'s been rough
on my kids and me.

00:12:52.210 --> 00:12:54.350 align:middle line:84%
I would just rather have
a plan for this child

00:12:54.350 --> 00:12:57.960 align:middle line:84%
and make sure they have
a loving, caring home

00:12:57.960 --> 00:13:00.660 align:middle line:90%
before it comes to that point.

00:13:00.660 --> 00:13:03.770 align:middle line:84%
And then I have more
control over the choice.

00:13:03.770 --> 00:13:06.480 align:middle line:90%
I have two daughters, yes.

00:13:06.480 --> 00:13:13.280 align:middle line:84%
I have one who is 13, and
she with my aunt and uncle.

00:13:13.280 --> 00:13:15.760 align:middle line:90%
I have three year old.

00:13:15.760 --> 00:13:19.250 align:middle line:84%
She\'ll be three, and
she\'s with her father.

00:13:19.250 --> 00:13:26.370 align:middle line:84%
As far as family members, they
either have their own family

00:13:26.370 --> 00:13:33.740 align:middle line:84%
and my grandma\'s
too-- she\'s elderly.

00:13:33.740 --> 00:13:36.150 align:middle line:90%
So a lot of my family\'s older.

00:13:36.150 --> 00:13:38.360 align:middle line:84%
And my aunt and uncle
have my oldest daughter,

00:13:38.360 --> 00:13:41.390 align:middle line:84%
and a newborn baby
is a lot to take on

00:13:41.390 --> 00:13:45.630 align:middle line:84%
for somebody who\'s
already 40, 50 years old.

00:13:45.630 --> 00:13:49.890 align:middle line:84%
I believe my sister is going
to be able to take my baby,

00:13:49.890 --> 00:13:54.812 align:middle line:84%
as long as DHS
approves her household.

00:13:54.812 --> 00:13:57.280 align:middle line:90%
My half sister.

00:13:57.280 --> 00:14:01.412 align:middle line:84%
My husband, we\'re not
allowed to have contact.

00:14:01.412 --> 00:14:02.870 align:middle line:84%
He doesn\'t think
that he can handle

00:14:02.870 --> 00:14:06.350 align:middle line:90%
having two children under three.

00:14:06.350 --> 00:14:09.810 align:middle line:84%
I\'m in the process of
trying to work with DHS.

00:14:09.810 --> 00:14:12.150 align:middle line:84%
And I\'m in the
process of fighting

00:14:12.150 --> 00:14:17.340 align:middle line:84%
for my parental rights, being
able to see my kids right now.

00:14:17.340 --> 00:14:22.095 align:middle line:84%
I\'m hoping the baby\'s daddy\'s--
my baby\'s daddy\'s mom would

00:14:22.095 --> 00:14:26.380 align:middle line:90%
take her, so it\'s grandma.

00:14:26.380 --> 00:14:29.250 align:middle line:84%
I want to get out and
have my baby back.

00:14:29.250 --> 00:14:34.780 align:middle line:84%
I would just like to place her
in temporary care if possible.

00:14:34.780 --> 00:14:38.020 align:middle line:84%
I\'m willing to do whatever it
takes to better myself in here

00:14:38.020 --> 00:14:38.800 align:middle line:90%
as a parent.

00:14:38.800 --> 00:14:40.520 align:middle line:84%
Go to parenting
classes, whatever

00:14:40.520 --> 00:14:42.420 align:middle line:90%
it takes to get my baby back.

00:14:42.420 --> 00:14:45.020 align:middle line:90%

00:14:45.020 --> 00:14:47.290 align:middle line:90%
We all make bad choices.

00:14:47.290 --> 00:14:51.570 align:middle line:84%
Before I went to prison, I
had asked the county jail

00:14:51.570 --> 00:14:54.210 align:middle line:84%
if I could get an
abortion, because I

00:14:54.210 --> 00:14:57.110 align:middle line:84%
knew I was going to prison,
and I knew that once

00:14:57.110 --> 00:14:59.680 align:middle line:84%
I went to prison that
there wasn\'t going

00:14:59.680 --> 00:15:01.800 align:middle line:84%
to be anybody who
could take my baby.

00:15:01.800 --> 00:15:06.930 align:middle line:84%
So I asked for an abortion
and I couldn\'t get one.

00:15:06.930 --> 00:15:10.810 align:middle line:84%
I had kept requesting
to have this done,

00:15:10.810 --> 00:15:15.250 align:middle line:84%
but it got to the point
where it was past.

00:15:15.250 --> 00:15:16.010 align:middle line:90%
It was too late.

00:15:16.010 --> 00:15:17.710 align:middle line:90%
I couldn\'t do it anymore.

00:15:17.710 --> 00:15:21.980 align:middle line:84%
We have to be neutral on
abortion or no abortion.

00:15:21.980 --> 00:15:26.290 align:middle line:84%
If the woman brings out
that she wants an abortion,

00:15:26.290 --> 00:15:29.430 align:middle line:84%
that is an optional
medical procedure

00:15:29.430 --> 00:15:31.035 align:middle line:90%
that she has to pay for herself.

00:15:31.035 --> 00:15:34.060 align:middle line:90%

00:15:34.060 --> 00:15:39.220 align:middle line:84%
We cannot expend the
state funds on that unless

00:15:39.220 --> 00:15:44.200 align:middle line:84%
there\'s a medical issue going
on that is another complication.

00:15:44.200 --> 00:15:47.750 align:middle line:84%
But short of that
happening, the woman

00:15:47.750 --> 00:15:52.800 align:middle line:84%
has the ability to seek that,
but it is at her own expense.

00:15:52.800 --> 00:15:56.865 align:middle line:84%
It\'s to my knowledge, we\'ve
not had anybody pursue that.

00:15:56.865 --> 00:16:05.690 align:middle line:90%

00:16:05.690 --> 00:16:10.950 align:middle line:84%
The normal cost for the delivery
of the lady at Meridian Park

00:16:10.950 --> 00:16:15.450 align:middle line:84%
for their whole prenatal
care runs about $30,000.

00:16:15.450 --> 00:16:18.570 align:middle line:90%
For the baby, it\'s about $2,000.

00:16:18.570 --> 00:16:20.170 align:middle line:84%
The Department of
Corrections pays

00:16:20.170 --> 00:16:23.730 align:middle line:84%
for the all costs
associated with the delivery

00:16:23.730 --> 00:16:25.022 align:middle line:90%
for the mother\'s care.

00:16:25.022 --> 00:16:26.730 align:middle line:84%
The adoption agency
is having a hard time

00:16:26.730 --> 00:16:29.050 align:middle line:84%
finding a family
that is willing to be

00:16:29.050 --> 00:16:34.430 align:middle line:84%
open with the length
of my sentence,

00:16:34.430 --> 00:16:36.860 align:middle line:84%
meaning coming in
here for visits.

00:16:36.860 --> 00:16:38.950 align:middle line:84%
They\'re a little
intimidated by it.

00:16:38.950 --> 00:16:43.680 align:middle line:84%
So I looked at one
profile of a family

00:16:43.680 --> 00:16:45.700 align:middle line:84%
and I\'m hoping to
meet them in person

00:16:45.700 --> 00:16:47.100 align:middle line:90%
here in the next week or so.

00:16:47.100 --> 00:16:51.772 align:middle line:84%
In my case, because I
have an open case the DHS

00:16:51.772 --> 00:16:53.230 align:middle line:84%
and the length of
my sentence, they

00:16:53.230 --> 00:16:57.100 align:middle line:84%
would automatically petition to
terminate my parental rights.

00:16:57.100 --> 00:16:58.900 align:middle line:84%
So there would be
no option for me

00:16:58.900 --> 00:17:02.770 align:middle line:84%
to prove myself and
get this child back.

00:17:02.770 --> 00:17:04.869 align:middle line:84%
So I\'m not willing to
give my baby to the state.

00:17:04.869 --> 00:17:09.260 align:middle line:84%
My experience with DHS is
their mission statement

00:17:09.260 --> 00:17:15.400 align:middle line:84%
or our motto, I guess, is
to keep families together,

00:17:15.400 --> 00:17:18.245 align:middle line:90%
and I totally disagree.

00:17:18.245 --> 00:17:32.380 align:middle line:90%

00:17:32.380 --> 00:17:37.130 align:middle line:84%
I am very attached,
more so maybe.

00:17:37.130 --> 00:17:38.770 align:middle line:90%
More aware.

00:17:38.770 --> 00:17:41.070 align:middle line:90%
Because it\'s just me.

00:17:41.070 --> 00:17:45.920 align:middle line:84%
And every time--
I\'m not working.

00:17:45.920 --> 00:17:47.260 align:middle line:90%
I\'m not driving a car.

00:17:47.260 --> 00:17:49.920 align:middle line:84%
I\'m not sitting,
talking with family.

00:17:49.920 --> 00:17:52.440 align:middle line:90%
It\'s just me and the baby.

00:17:52.440 --> 00:17:57.270 align:middle line:84%
So every kick I
feel and respond to.

00:17:57.270 --> 00:18:01.902 align:middle line:84%
When I was by myself, I
would talk to my baby.

00:18:01.902 --> 00:18:07.670 align:middle line:84%
Rub my stomach, respond to
the kicks and the pressure.

00:18:07.670 --> 00:18:10.170 align:middle line:84%
There\'s definitely more of
an attachment to this baby,

00:18:10.170 --> 00:18:11.330 align:middle line:90%
I think.

00:18:11.330 --> 00:18:14.740 align:middle line:84%
I try block it out a lot of
times, that I am even pregnant.

00:18:14.740 --> 00:18:15.930 align:middle line:90%
You know?

00:18:15.930 --> 00:18:19.070 align:middle line:84%
I mean, I know it\'s
kind of hard-- baby--

00:18:19.070 --> 00:18:23.090 align:middle line:84%
but, I just try to block
it out most of the time.

00:18:23.090 --> 00:18:28.210 align:middle line:84%
I prepared myself and
told myself, well, I\'m

00:18:28.210 --> 00:18:30.490 align:middle line:90%
going to have this baby.

00:18:30.490 --> 00:18:32.910 align:middle line:84%
I don\'t know who I\'m going
to have this baby for,

00:18:32.910 --> 00:18:35.960 align:middle line:90%
but this baby\'s not mine.

00:18:35.960 --> 00:18:38.680 align:middle line:90%

00:18:38.680 --> 00:18:40.930 align:middle line:84%
Where ever the baby goes,
the baby\'s going to be safe.

00:18:40.930 --> 00:18:42.305 align:middle line:84%
I just had to keep
telling myself

00:18:42.305 --> 00:18:45.290 align:middle line:84%
over and over and over
this, because I really

00:18:45.290 --> 00:18:47.950 align:middle line:84%
think that I probably would\'ve
went in to a really depression

00:18:47.950 --> 00:18:48.450 align:middle line:90%
mode.

00:18:48.450 --> 00:18:51.630 align:middle line:90%

00:18:51.630 --> 00:18:55.350 align:middle line:84%
Depression in mothers has
been known to affect babies.

00:18:55.350 --> 00:18:58.520 align:middle line:84%
So the questions are,
how do we know that?

00:18:58.520 --> 00:19:03.810 align:middle line:84%
And the way we know that is that
there are some studies being

00:19:03.810 --> 00:19:06.890 align:middle line:84%
done, electro-physiological
studies, looking

00:19:06.890 --> 00:19:11.080 align:middle line:84%
at EEGs in brains of infants
whose mothers being depressed.

00:19:11.080 --> 00:19:15.430 align:middle line:84%
And looking at whether there
are any electrical impulsive

00:19:15.430 --> 00:19:18.630 align:middle line:84%
disorders that you can
really be able to pick up.

00:19:18.630 --> 00:19:21.560 align:middle line:84%
Bonding is a very
interesting factor

00:19:21.560 --> 00:19:24.250 align:middle line:90%
in how human beings develop.

00:19:24.250 --> 00:19:26.650 align:middle line:84%
And I think one of the
things that we are learning

00:19:26.650 --> 00:19:31.170 align:middle line:84%
in our field of developmental
behavior, pediatrics,

00:19:31.170 --> 00:19:37.680 align:middle line:84%
is that children that have
not established bonding,

00:19:37.680 --> 00:19:42.360 align:middle line:84%
or children that have difficulty
or feel insecure in what\'s

00:19:42.360 --> 00:19:47.270 align:middle line:84%
going on, they do not form
the type of attachment

00:19:47.270 --> 00:19:51.300 align:middle line:84%
that a child would form
if they feel secure.

00:19:51.300 --> 00:19:55.730 align:middle line:84%
Probably 80% of our ladies have
had some drug or alcohol use

00:19:55.730 --> 00:19:59.990 align:middle line:84%
prior to coming to prison,
often in the early stages

00:19:59.990 --> 00:20:01.400 align:middle line:90%
of their pregnancy.

00:20:01.400 --> 00:20:05.055 align:middle line:84%
They may or may not have
known they were pregnant

00:20:05.055 --> 00:20:06.960 align:middle line:90%
when they came to us.

00:20:06.960 --> 00:20:09.820 align:middle line:84%
And they may have
when they conceived

00:20:09.820 --> 00:20:11.840 align:middle line:84%
been under the influence
of drug or alcohol.

00:20:11.840 --> 00:20:16.680 align:middle line:84%
A lot of them have had the bare
minimum of prenatal care prior

00:20:16.680 --> 00:20:21.080 align:middle line:84%
to coming to us, but
there\'s a few that haven\'t.

00:20:21.080 --> 00:20:25.400 align:middle line:84%
We\'ve not had any pregnant
ladies with AIDS or HIV.

00:20:25.400 --> 00:20:30.766 align:middle line:84%
We have been able to take
all our babies to full term.

00:20:30.766 --> 00:20:32.265 align:middle line:84%
I think we had one
preterm delivery.

00:20:32.265 --> 00:20:35.350 align:middle line:90%

00:20:35.350 --> 00:20:39.540 align:middle line:84%
Once they arrive, they
get regular prenatal care.

00:20:39.540 --> 00:20:43.270 align:middle line:90%
Diet stabilizes out.

00:20:43.270 --> 00:20:47.170 align:middle line:84%
Things seem to go well and
we have very little problems

00:20:47.170 --> 00:20:48.475 align:middle line:90%
with the babies.

00:20:48.475 --> 00:20:52.020 align:middle line:84%
It just kind of shows the
benefits of prenatal care

00:20:52.020 --> 00:20:56.990 align:middle line:84%
and getting good nutrition,
taking care of the mother

00:20:56.990 --> 00:20:59.070 align:middle line:90%
so that the baby\'s healthy.

00:20:59.070 --> 00:21:02.450 align:middle line:84%
The three ladies
are very healthy.

00:21:02.450 --> 00:21:05.210 align:middle line:84%
They should have no
problems as they continue

00:21:05.210 --> 00:21:07.760 align:middle line:84%
towards their due
dates and delivering.

00:21:07.760 --> 00:21:12.430 align:middle line:84%
In fact, Trisha is due any day,
and we have all the paperwork

00:21:12.430 --> 00:21:14.260 align:middle line:84%
in place, so we
know exactly what\'s

00:21:14.260 --> 00:21:17.050 align:middle line:84%
going to happen when she goes
to the hospital to deliver.

00:21:17.050 --> 00:21:21.028 align:middle line:90%

00:21:21.028 --> 00:21:24.740 align:middle line:84%
I had my baby at
6:05 in the morning,

00:21:24.740 --> 00:21:29.790 align:middle line:84%
and I was back here by
12:30 that same day.

00:21:29.790 --> 00:21:33.200 align:middle line:84%
And had to go through, after
just having a baby, a skin

00:21:33.200 --> 00:21:36.240 align:middle line:84%
search, a strip
search, everything.

00:21:36.240 --> 00:21:38.150 align:middle line:90%
I had two officers with me.

00:21:38.150 --> 00:21:41.430 align:middle line:84%
When I did leave, I was
in a wheelchair, shackled.

00:21:41.430 --> 00:21:44.850 align:middle line:90%
Feet shackled, and my hands.

00:21:44.850 --> 00:21:47.070 align:middle line:84%
So you have your
hands and your feet

00:21:47.070 --> 00:21:49.750 align:middle line:90%
shackled when you come back.

00:21:49.750 --> 00:21:54.450 align:middle line:84%
When I delivered my baby, there
was two officers, the doctor,

00:21:54.450 --> 00:21:58.150 align:middle line:90%
and a nurse, and myself.

00:21:58.150 --> 00:22:04.080 align:middle line:84%
Nurse was there getting the
stuff ready, the baby carriage

00:22:04.080 --> 00:22:07.540 align:middle line:84%
or crib that holds the baby, and
the Doctor and the two officers

00:22:07.540 --> 00:22:10.050 align:middle line:90%
were right there.

00:22:10.050 --> 00:22:12.215 align:middle line:84%
Not the way that
you want to remember

00:22:12.215 --> 00:22:14.138 align:middle line:90%
the birth of your child.

00:22:14.138 --> 00:22:15.076 align:middle line:90%
Bottom line.

00:22:15.076 --> 00:22:17.890 align:middle line:90%

00:22:17.890 --> 00:22:21.622 align:middle line:84%
When I went into labor,
it was at 2:00 AM,

00:22:21.622 --> 00:22:28.090 align:middle line:84%
and I had her at
6:05 in the morning.

00:22:28.090 --> 00:22:31.300 align:middle line:84%
And Doctor laid her on
my stomach like they do.

00:22:31.300 --> 00:22:34.080 align:middle line:90%

00:22:34.080 --> 00:22:36.390 align:middle line:84%
So I got to hold her
for a few seconds.

00:22:36.390 --> 00:22:40.740 align:middle line:84%
And then the nurse took her
over to the heating table,

00:22:40.740 --> 00:22:44.170 align:middle line:84%
cleaned her up, and they
gave her back to me.

00:22:44.170 --> 00:22:48.450 align:middle line:84%
And I held her for
[CRYING] 18 minutes.

00:22:48.450 --> 00:22:54.885 align:middle line:90%

00:22:54.885 --> 00:22:58.860 align:middle line:84%
And I kissed her
on her forehead.

00:22:58.860 --> 00:23:02.585 align:middle line:84%
And I handed her to the
nurse and they took her

00:23:02.585 --> 00:23:03.210 align:middle line:90%
to the nursery.

00:23:03.210 --> 00:23:07.611 align:middle line:90%

00:23:07.611 --> 00:23:09.078 align:middle line:90%
And that was it.

00:23:09.078 --> 00:23:12.990 align:middle line:90%

00:23:12.990 --> 00:23:13.997 align:middle line:90%
The last time I saw her.

00:23:13.997 --> 00:23:16.620 align:middle line:90%

00:23:16.620 --> 00:23:20.750 align:middle line:84%
I went two weeks past due, so
I was really eager to have her.

00:23:20.750 --> 00:23:21.990 align:middle line:90%
I was ready.

00:23:21.990 --> 00:23:23.780 align:middle line:84%
So I got up that
morning, and I walked.

00:23:23.780 --> 00:23:26.826 align:middle line:84%
And I had the nurse
come in to check

00:23:26.826 --> 00:23:28.390 align:middle line:90%
me to see if I was dilated.

00:23:28.390 --> 00:23:31.320 align:middle line:84%
And turns out she
says, you\'re ready.

00:23:31.320 --> 00:23:33.120 align:middle line:90%
You need to go to the hospital.

00:23:33.120 --> 00:23:34.730 align:middle line:90%
We got there pretty quick.

00:23:34.730 --> 00:23:38.230 align:middle line:84%
By that time, I was
in active labor.

00:23:38.230 --> 00:23:39.940 align:middle line:84%
I had a guard with
me at all times.

00:23:39.940 --> 00:23:41.690 align:middle line:84%
I had my counselor
come with me, because I

00:23:41.690 --> 00:23:43.398 align:middle line:84%
had nobody to be at
the hospital with me.

00:23:43.398 --> 00:23:44.950 align:middle line:90%
She had offered to come with me.

00:23:44.950 --> 00:23:46.900 align:middle line:84%
And so, that was
really nice of her.

00:23:46.900 --> 00:23:50.500 align:middle line:84%
I had her with me and the
guards were really nice.

00:23:50.500 --> 00:23:51.520 align:middle line:90%
They took pictures.

00:23:51.520 --> 00:23:53.550 align:middle line:84%
My counselor took
pictures, so I got, like,

00:23:53.550 --> 00:23:54.925 align:middle line:90%
12 hours with my daughter total.

00:23:54.925 --> 00:23:57.386 align:middle line:90%

00:23:57.386 --> 00:23:58.760 align:middle line:84%
That was the
hardest thing I ever

00:23:58.760 --> 00:24:00.710 align:middle line:84%
had to do was leave
her at the hospital.

00:24:00.710 --> 00:24:03.970 align:middle line:84%
It didn\'t really hit me all
that much until right then

00:24:03.970 --> 00:24:06.510 align:middle line:84%
when DHS was calling and
ready to come in to get her.

00:24:06.510 --> 00:24:09.060 align:middle line:90%
Then I just broke down.

00:24:09.060 --> 00:24:11.160 align:middle line:84%
I really didn\'t put that
much thought into that.

00:24:11.160 --> 00:24:14.080 align:middle line:84%
I wanted to spend as much
time with my daughter

00:24:14.080 --> 00:24:18.570 align:middle line:84%
as I could with a clear mind,
without being all-- knowing

00:24:18.570 --> 00:24:20.459 align:middle line:84%
they\'re going to come
and take her away,

00:24:20.459 --> 00:24:22.750 align:middle line:84%
so I tried not to think about
it until the last minute.

00:24:22.750 --> 00:24:24.710 align:middle line:84%
The whole time I was
pregnant, I thought

00:24:24.710 --> 00:24:28.050 align:middle line:84%
my baby\'s daddy\'s mother
was going to take the baby.

00:24:28.050 --> 00:24:29.800 align:middle line:84%
I have no family
that can take her.

00:24:29.800 --> 00:24:31.390 align:middle line:84%
Adoption is not
an option for me.

00:24:31.390 --> 00:24:33.210 align:middle line:90%
I want to get my baby back.

00:24:33.210 --> 00:24:35.940 align:middle line:84%
And so at the last point, I
had to come to the decision

00:24:35.940 --> 00:24:38.920 align:middle line:84%
to put her in DHS care
while I\'m incarcerated.

00:24:38.920 --> 00:24:42.250 align:middle line:90%

00:24:42.250 --> 00:24:45.310 align:middle line:90%
So that was tough.

00:24:45.310 --> 00:24:51.672 align:middle line:84%
The reality is that
there aren\'t even close

00:24:51.672 --> 00:24:57.620 align:middle line:84%
to enough good foster
care providers and people

00:24:57.620 --> 00:25:01.300 align:middle line:84%
to adopt kids as
there needs to be.

00:25:01.300 --> 00:25:07.360 align:middle line:84%
And so in many, many cases
where DHS is involved,

00:25:07.360 --> 00:25:12.210 align:middle line:84%
if there\'s a relative, if there
is a grandparent of the child,

00:25:12.210 --> 00:25:15.270 align:middle line:84%
or an aunt of the child,
or somebody like that who\'s

00:25:15.270 --> 00:25:21.430 align:middle line:84%
willing to have even temporary
custody of the child,

00:25:21.430 --> 00:25:26.070 align:middle line:84%
or to adopt a
child, DHS will take

00:25:26.070 --> 00:25:27.660 align:middle line:90%
a really hard look at that.

00:25:27.660 --> 00:25:34.530 align:middle line:90%

00:25:34.530 --> 00:25:40.610 align:middle line:84%
My sister backed out
of taking the baby.

00:25:40.610 --> 00:25:42.856 align:middle line:90%
That didn\'t go through.

00:25:42.856 --> 00:25:44.410 align:middle line:90%
It\'s too much.

00:25:44.410 --> 00:25:49.330 align:middle line:84%
She\'s only 23 and has
three kids of her own.

00:25:49.330 --> 00:25:51.830 align:middle line:84%
And she\'s just had a baby
a month before it I did.

00:25:51.830 --> 00:25:53.810 align:middle line:90%
So that didn\'t work out.

00:25:53.810 --> 00:25:57.730 align:middle line:84%
So it was a week
before my due date,

00:25:57.730 --> 00:26:00.600 align:middle line:84%
and all the plans just
kind of shattered.

00:26:00.600 --> 00:26:03.440 align:middle line:84%
She\'s in a foster
home right now,

00:26:03.440 --> 00:26:08.530 align:middle line:84%
and my family members
are trying to-- they

00:26:08.530 --> 00:26:11.500 align:middle line:90%
have to go through a process.

00:26:11.500 --> 00:26:14.680 align:middle line:84%
I just had one family member
last week come forward

00:26:14.680 --> 00:26:16.584 align:middle line:84%
and say that they\'d
take the baby.

00:26:16.584 --> 00:26:21.721 align:middle line:90%

00:26:21.721 --> 00:26:27.040 align:middle line:84%
When I delivered my son,
they induced labor on me,

00:26:27.040 --> 00:26:32.010 align:middle line:90%
and I had him fairly fast.

00:26:32.010 --> 00:26:34.180 align:middle line:90%
I had no privacy whatsoever.

00:26:34.180 --> 00:26:41.630 align:middle line:84%
I had an officer sitting
on the side of me.

00:26:41.630 --> 00:26:45.710 align:middle line:84%
I delivered and this officer
could see everything.

00:26:45.710 --> 00:26:50.950 align:middle line:84%
You just sit there and push out
a baby in front of an officer.

00:26:50.950 --> 00:26:57.100 align:middle line:84%
After you have the baby,
they lay the baby on you,

00:26:57.100 --> 00:26:59.700 align:middle line:84%
and they\'re cleaning
you all up, and, well,

00:26:59.700 --> 00:27:02.170 align:middle line:90%
the officer\'s still right there.

00:27:02.170 --> 00:27:06.760 align:middle line:84%
And then everything
is really fast.

00:27:06.760 --> 00:27:08.750 align:middle line:84%
I wasn\'t absolutely
sure my sister was

00:27:08.750 --> 00:27:11.450 align:middle line:84%
going to take my baby until
I went into the hospital

00:27:11.450 --> 00:27:14.900 align:middle line:90%
and I delivered my baby.

00:27:14.900 --> 00:27:21.560 align:middle line:84%
At the time, DHS was there and
my sister showed up a few hours

00:27:21.560 --> 00:27:22.520 align:middle line:90%
later.

00:27:22.520 --> 00:27:25.980 align:middle line:84%
And DHS was there
to take the baby,

00:27:25.980 --> 00:27:29.280 align:middle line:84%
but because my sister had
already had my other three

00:27:29.280 --> 00:27:34.930 align:middle line:84%
boys, they allowed her to take
my son because she was also

00:27:34.930 --> 00:27:38.106 align:middle line:84%
DHS approved, because
she was a foster family.

00:27:38.106 --> 00:27:39.730 align:middle line:84%
After I delivered
the baby, I was there

00:27:39.730 --> 00:27:42.720 align:middle line:90%
for maybe another eight hours.

00:27:42.720 --> 00:27:46.720 align:middle line:90%
And then DHS and my sister came.

00:27:46.720 --> 00:27:49.910 align:middle line:84%
They took the baby,
and I was done.

00:27:49.910 --> 00:27:50.860 align:middle line:90%
Went back to prison.

00:27:50.860 --> 00:28:00.170 align:middle line:90%

00:28:00.170 --> 00:28:03.050 align:middle line:84%
The agency came in
with a portfolio

00:28:03.050 --> 00:28:08.360 align:middle line:84%
of a family that was
sent from heaven.

00:28:08.360 --> 00:28:09.830 align:middle line:90%
They\'re great.

00:28:09.830 --> 00:28:11.410 align:middle line:90%
It was a perfect match.

00:28:11.410 --> 00:28:14.650 align:middle line:84%
I had met a family
before them, and I

00:28:14.650 --> 00:28:17.690 align:middle line:84%
thought that they we\'re
going to be the ones.

00:28:17.690 --> 00:28:22.650 align:middle line:84%
Went through the holiday weekend
anticipating their approval,

00:28:22.650 --> 00:28:26.850 align:middle line:84%
and waited and waited,
and they decided

00:28:26.850 --> 00:28:28.280 align:middle line:90%
they didn\'t want an infant.

00:28:28.280 --> 00:28:32.790 align:middle line:84%
And I took it as they didn\'t
want to deal with an inmate.

00:28:32.790 --> 00:28:34.040 align:middle line:90%
I was frantic.

00:28:34.040 --> 00:28:35.580 align:middle line:90%
I did not know what to do.

00:28:35.580 --> 00:28:38.930 align:middle line:84%
I thought everybody was giving
up on me, that maybe there\'s

00:28:38.930 --> 00:28:42.100 align:middle line:84%
something wrong with me, or
they didn\'t want my baby.

00:28:42.100 --> 00:28:45.550 align:middle line:90%

00:28:45.550 --> 00:28:51.200 align:middle line:84%
So I had to really reach out to
my counselor and other inmates

00:28:51.200 --> 00:28:52.760 align:middle line:90%
to keep me positive.

00:28:52.760 --> 00:28:55.550 align:middle line:90%
I went 10 days past my due date.

00:28:55.550 --> 00:29:02.680 align:middle line:84%
I was due December 16, and
delivered on December 26.

00:29:02.680 --> 00:29:05.390 align:middle line:84%
So during that time
it was frustrating,

00:29:05.390 --> 00:29:07.860 align:middle line:84%
anxiety, just
wanting this to just

00:29:07.860 --> 00:29:12.600 align:middle line:84%
be over, because I worked
very hard to make sure my son

00:29:12.600 --> 00:29:13.700 align:middle line:90%
had a good home.

00:29:13.700 --> 00:29:16.140 align:middle line:84%
I started having labor
contractions about 12:30

00:29:16.140 --> 00:29:22.320 align:middle line:84%
in the morning, and I let the
officer know, and the nurse.

00:29:22.320 --> 00:29:25.890 align:middle line:84%
We walked down to the
inmate processing,

00:29:25.890 --> 00:29:31.280 align:middle line:84%
which I stripped down, and bend
over and cough and all that,

00:29:31.280 --> 00:29:33.310 align:middle line:84%
and the whole time
having contractions.

00:29:33.310 --> 00:29:34.310 align:middle line:90%
Wasn\'t easy.

00:29:34.310 --> 00:29:38.240 align:middle line:84%
She handcuffed me down
at inmate processing.

00:29:38.240 --> 00:29:43.710 align:middle line:84%
Just handcuffs, no leg
restraints or belly chains.

00:29:43.710 --> 00:29:45.630 align:middle line:90%
I put on an orange jumpsuit.

00:29:45.630 --> 00:29:48.120 align:middle line:84%
Kind of orangish yellow
color, so you stand out

00:29:48.120 --> 00:29:49.120 align:middle line:90%
to the whole world.

00:29:49.120 --> 00:29:50.710 align:middle line:90%
You\'re an inmate.

00:29:50.710 --> 00:29:54.660 align:middle line:84%
We went upstairs to
the maternity ward,

00:29:54.660 --> 00:30:00.340 align:middle line:84%
and then I found out that
the family was there.

00:30:00.340 --> 00:30:04.210 align:middle line:84%
They had taken my handcuffs
off at that point.

00:30:04.210 --> 00:30:07.002 align:middle line:84%
I was wearing a
hospital gown and they

00:30:07.002 --> 00:30:08.210 align:middle line:90%
knew I wasn\'t going anywhere.

00:30:08.210 --> 00:30:10.290 align:middle line:90%
I was in the bed and in labor.

00:30:10.290 --> 00:30:12.170 align:middle line:84%
The doctor decided
to break my water,

00:30:12.170 --> 00:30:14.130 align:middle line:84%
and the reality
started hitting me

00:30:14.130 --> 00:30:15.670 align:middle line:84%
that this was all
going to be over,

00:30:15.670 --> 00:30:20.570 align:middle line:84%
and I wasn\'t going to
have my baby anymore.

00:30:20.570 --> 00:30:23.600 align:middle line:90%
[CRYING]

00:30:23.600 --> 00:30:25.630 align:middle line:84%
So by then, I wanted
things to slow down,

00:30:25.630 --> 00:30:28.427 align:middle line:84%
although I wanted everything
to go so fast before that.

00:30:28.427 --> 00:30:30.010 align:middle line:84%
I didn\'t even care
that I was in pain.

00:30:30.010 --> 00:30:33.060 align:middle line:84%
I just didn\'t want
it to go any further.

00:30:33.060 --> 00:30:37.440 align:middle line:84%
I had my son at 1:05
in the afternoon.

00:30:37.440 --> 00:30:39.640 align:middle line:84%
I tried to be so positive
through the whole thing.

00:30:39.640 --> 00:30:44.290 align:middle line:84%
And I just could not
control my tears.

00:30:44.290 --> 00:30:48.676 align:middle line:84%
It was no way I
could control it.

00:30:48.676 --> 00:30:50.800 align:middle line:84%
And they were so worried
about me, the new parents.

00:30:50.800 --> 00:30:54.596 align:middle line:90%

00:30:54.596 --> 00:30:56.470 align:middle line:84%
They didn\'t want to hold
him at the hospital.

00:30:56.470 --> 00:30:57.844 align:middle line:84%
They wanted me to
hold him, and I

00:30:57.844 --> 00:31:00.080 align:middle line:84%
wanted to share
all that with them.

00:31:00.080 --> 00:31:04.509 align:middle line:84%
And it was the hardest
thing I ever did,

00:31:04.509 --> 00:31:05.550 align:middle line:90%
was to sign those papers.

00:31:05.550 --> 00:31:08.140 align:middle line:90%

00:31:08.140 --> 00:31:12.240 align:middle line:84%
I had handed my son
to his new father.

00:31:12.240 --> 00:31:16.460 align:middle line:84%
And I didn\'t, I didn\'t want
to hear him cry when I left.

00:31:16.460 --> 00:31:19.340 align:middle line:84%
So when I came back out,
I gave everybody a hug,

00:31:19.340 --> 00:31:24.930 align:middle line:84%
and I told congratulations
and thanked them.

00:31:24.930 --> 00:31:29.524 align:middle line:84%
And they told me that I was
a part of their family now

00:31:29.524 --> 00:31:31.940 align:middle line:84%
and tried to hand me back my
son, and I couldn\'t take him.

00:31:31.940 --> 00:31:36.114 align:middle line:90%

00:31:36.114 --> 00:31:37.280 align:middle line:90%
I couldn\'t even look at him.

00:31:37.280 --> 00:31:41.560 align:middle line:84%
I just had to go get in
the wheelchair and leave.

00:31:41.560 --> 00:31:48.750 align:middle line:84%
We chose open just to
make the transition easier

00:31:48.750 --> 00:31:50.310 align:middle line:90%
with Christina.

00:31:50.310 --> 00:31:53.360 align:middle line:90%
She could still see him.

00:31:53.360 --> 00:31:59.090 align:middle line:84%
Because she gave us the ultimate
sacrifice you could have.

00:31:59.090 --> 00:32:01.980 align:middle line:90%
She gave us a beautiful baby.

00:32:01.980 --> 00:32:06.960 align:middle line:84%
But we also chose open
to also make it better

00:32:06.960 --> 00:32:09.460 align:middle line:90%
for him and on his life.

00:32:09.460 --> 00:32:13.260 align:middle line:84%
I was actually adopted by my
grandmother when I was four,

00:32:13.260 --> 00:32:15.710 align:middle line:84%
and I always had
contact with my mom.

00:32:15.710 --> 00:32:19.560 align:middle line:84%
The first set of birth moms
that we were notified of,

00:32:19.560 --> 00:32:21.560 align:middle line:90%
I think it was four?

00:32:21.560 --> 00:32:22.060 align:middle line:90%
Mm hmm.

00:32:22.060 --> 00:32:23.300 align:middle line:90%
Four birth moms.

00:32:23.300 --> 00:32:27.230 align:middle line:84%
And out of the four, three of
them, two were incarcerated,

00:32:27.230 --> 00:32:30.440 align:middle line:84%
one was on house
arrest, and then

00:32:30.440 --> 00:32:32.860 align:middle line:90%
the fourth one was a teenager.

00:32:32.860 --> 00:32:38.420 align:middle line:84%
So if you\'re not willing
to see past life\'s

00:32:38.420 --> 00:32:42.760 align:middle line:84%
unfortunate circumstances, then
sometimes adoption might not

00:32:42.760 --> 00:32:45.720 align:middle line:84%
be for you, because
unfortunately, that\'s

00:32:45.720 --> 00:32:49.190 align:middle line:84%
a lot of the situations
you\'re going to get in.

00:32:49.190 --> 00:32:51.450 align:middle line:84%
I didn\'t want to go in there
being an emotional wreck,

00:32:51.450 --> 00:32:58.330 align:middle line:84%
so I was OK when I got back in
there until I went to my room

00:32:58.330 --> 00:33:04.130 align:middle line:84%
and started thinking
about my son.

00:33:04.130 --> 00:33:05.450 align:middle line:90%
Thinking I abandoned him.

00:33:05.450 --> 00:33:09.730 align:middle line:90%

00:33:09.730 --> 00:33:11.990 align:middle line:84%
It brought up a
lot of issues of me

00:33:11.990 --> 00:33:13.790 align:middle line:84%
not being with my
other kids, that I

00:33:13.790 --> 00:33:16.320 align:middle line:84%
had stuffed feelings that
I didn\'t want to feel,

00:33:16.320 --> 00:33:19.710 align:middle line:84%
and things that I didn\'t
want to think about.

00:33:19.710 --> 00:33:24.045 align:middle line:84%
And knowing that I left
a piece of me behind.

00:33:24.045 --> 00:33:27.500 align:middle line:90%

00:33:27.500 --> 00:33:35.010 align:middle line:84%
But there were tears of
happiness, not tears of sorrow

00:33:35.010 --> 00:33:37.900 align:middle line:84%
when I left the
hospital, because I

00:33:37.900 --> 00:33:42.090 align:middle line:84%
knew that I had made a
good choice for my son,

00:33:42.090 --> 00:33:44.400 align:middle line:84%
although it is the hardest
thing I\'ve ever done.

00:33:44.400 --> 00:33:48.530 align:middle line:84%
I told myself every day,
it\'s going to be OK.

00:33:48.530 --> 00:33:49.850 align:middle line:90%
My sister has my baby.

00:33:49.850 --> 00:33:52.370 align:middle line:84%
He\'s going to be
with his brothers.

00:33:52.370 --> 00:33:57.010 align:middle line:84%
And I just wanted to stuff in
all my feelings and emotions.

00:33:57.010 --> 00:34:02.050 align:middle line:84%
At first, I became
kind of angry.

00:34:02.050 --> 00:34:04.330 align:middle line:84%
And I knew I couldn\'t
use my anger,

00:34:04.330 --> 00:34:07.470 align:middle line:84%
because anger\'s
not OK in prison.

00:34:07.470 --> 00:34:10.629 align:middle line:84%
So I just kept my mind
occupied on everything.

00:34:10.629 --> 00:34:13.739 align:middle line:90%
That\'s all I could do to cope.

00:34:13.739 --> 00:34:17.860 align:middle line:84%
The plan was for my sister
to adopt all of my boys.

00:34:17.860 --> 00:34:21.850 align:middle line:84%
And one week before
she adopted my son,

00:34:21.850 --> 00:34:28.989 align:middle line:84%
they found out that her
son was molesting my sons.

00:34:28.989 --> 00:34:35.420 align:middle line:84%
So they pulled all of my
sons out of my sister\'s home.

00:34:35.420 --> 00:34:43.909 align:middle line:84%
And once again, my boys
are in a foster home.

00:34:43.909 --> 00:34:46.989 align:middle line:90%
I\'m not quite sure where.

00:34:46.989 --> 00:34:49.880 align:middle line:84%
I do know that
they\'re all together.

00:34:49.880 --> 00:34:53.790 align:middle line:84%
I thought my baby would be
placed with a foster family,

00:34:53.790 --> 00:34:57.390 align:middle line:84%
and when I got out of prison
and did my programs that I would

00:34:57.390 --> 00:35:00.840 align:middle line:84%
be able to be
reunited with my baby.

00:35:00.840 --> 00:35:02.710 align:middle line:90%
And that didn\'t happen.

00:35:02.710 --> 00:35:07.440 align:middle line:84%
We\'ve got a higher number of
females that were actively

00:35:07.440 --> 00:35:11.330 align:middle line:84%
the parent in residence
when the arrest occurred,

00:35:11.330 --> 00:35:15.130 align:middle line:84%
when the women got involved
with criminal justice system.

00:35:15.130 --> 00:35:16.470 align:middle line:90%
Usually they\'re a single parent.

00:35:16.470 --> 00:35:19.350 align:middle line:90%

00:35:19.350 --> 00:35:25.730 align:middle line:84%
The father is not in the
picture at the point of arrest,

00:35:25.730 --> 00:35:29.460 align:middle line:84%
and the children were with
the single caregiver as well.

00:35:29.460 --> 00:35:33.600 align:middle line:84%
So the children
almost always have

00:35:33.600 --> 00:35:36.810 align:middle line:84%
to move if the
mother is arrested,

00:35:36.810 --> 00:35:39.320 align:middle line:84%
unlike where the
father is arrested,

00:35:39.320 --> 00:35:41.870 align:middle line:84%
the children normally
stay where they\'re at.

00:35:41.870 --> 00:35:49.420 align:middle line:84%
They\'re not as directly impacted
with issues of residence

00:35:49.420 --> 00:35:52.150 align:middle line:84%
when the father goes
to jail or to prison.

00:35:52.150 --> 00:36:01.740 align:middle line:90%

00:36:01.740 --> 00:36:04.650 align:middle line:84%
I was feeling just
emotionally broke down.

00:36:04.650 --> 00:36:07.600 align:middle line:90%
I was a total wreck.

00:36:07.600 --> 00:36:10.340 align:middle line:84%
That was the hardest thing,
coming back from the hospital

00:36:10.340 --> 00:36:11.730 align:middle line:90%
to the facility.

00:36:11.730 --> 00:36:14.606 align:middle line:84%
They brought me to
the infirmary so I

00:36:14.606 --> 00:36:16.850 align:middle line:84%
could be cleared through
medical to go back

00:36:16.850 --> 00:36:21.450 align:middle line:84%
to general population, and
soon as I walked in the doors,

00:36:21.450 --> 00:36:24.780 align:middle line:84%
I just broke down and
bawled my eyes out.

00:36:24.780 --> 00:36:26.110 align:middle line:90%
I couldn\'t help it.

00:36:26.110 --> 00:36:29.280 align:middle line:90%
I had no control.

00:36:29.280 --> 00:36:30.750 align:middle line:90%
I just couldn\'t turn it off.

00:36:30.750 --> 00:36:33.630 align:middle line:84%
When I came back
to the facility,

00:36:33.630 --> 00:36:36.700 align:middle line:84%
I had to get strip
searched, squat and cough,

00:36:36.700 --> 00:36:37.430 align:middle line:90%
the whole ordeal.

00:36:37.430 --> 00:36:40.500 align:middle line:84%
Nothing special, you just went
to the hospital and had a baby.

00:36:40.500 --> 00:36:43.800 align:middle line:84%
So the same procedure when you
go out to court or whatever.

00:36:43.800 --> 00:36:47.606 align:middle line:84%
You come back and you have
to be skinned, or whatever.

00:36:47.606 --> 00:36:48.630 align:middle line:90%
And it was really hard.

00:36:48.630 --> 00:36:50.255 align:middle line:84%
I had to ice pack my
face for two days,

00:36:50.255 --> 00:36:52.240 align:middle line:84%
because it was so
swollen from crying.

00:36:52.240 --> 00:36:54.240 align:middle line:84%
It\'s the hardest thing I
ever had to go through.

00:36:54.240 --> 00:36:57.200 align:middle line:90%

00:36:57.200 --> 00:36:59.450 align:middle line:84%
I walked in the
doors, and they said

00:36:59.450 --> 00:37:03.045 align:middle line:84%
they\'re going to set
me up with a celly.

00:37:03.045 --> 00:37:05.830 align:middle line:90%
That means two people to a cell.

00:37:05.830 --> 00:37:07.640 align:middle line:84%
And I just broke down
and started bawling.

00:37:07.640 --> 00:37:08.931 align:middle line:90%
I was like, I need my own cell.

00:37:08.931 --> 00:37:11.330 align:middle line:84%
I just need to sleep
and deal with what

00:37:11.330 --> 00:37:13.440 align:middle line:84%
I need to deal with just
going on in my head.

00:37:13.440 --> 00:37:16.970 align:middle line:84%
There\'s no way I could be
in a room with another girl,

00:37:16.970 --> 00:37:19.920 align:middle line:84%
emotionally broke
down like I was.

00:37:19.920 --> 00:37:24.010 align:middle line:84%
After I left the
hospital, I was numb.

00:37:24.010 --> 00:37:26.240 align:middle line:84%
And I asked to be
brought back so early.

00:37:26.240 --> 00:37:29.070 align:middle line:90%

00:37:29.070 --> 00:37:31.200 align:middle line:84%
When they took the baby
and I couldn\'t be with her,

00:37:31.200 --> 00:37:33.570 align:middle line:84%
I didn\'t want to
be at the hospital

00:37:33.570 --> 00:37:37.840 align:middle line:90%
because it was so raw and real.

00:37:37.840 --> 00:37:40.150 align:middle line:84%
I asked, just take me
back so I can get back

00:37:40.150 --> 00:37:42.800 align:middle line:90%
into my daily routine.

00:37:42.800 --> 00:37:44.140 align:middle line:90%
And I was numb.

00:37:44.140 --> 00:37:46.570 align:middle line:84%
I went to the infirmary
for five days,

00:37:46.570 --> 00:37:48.770 align:middle line:84%
because they watch
you really carefully.

00:37:48.770 --> 00:37:51.500 align:middle line:90%

00:37:51.500 --> 00:37:54.710 align:middle line:90%
Crawled up in my bed and slept.

00:37:54.710 --> 00:37:59.580 align:middle line:90%
And try really hard not to talk.

00:37:59.580 --> 00:38:02.600 align:middle line:90%
I don\'t like to talk about it.

00:38:02.600 --> 00:38:07.810 align:middle line:84%
Even this interview, I, as
you know, didn\'t want to do.

00:38:07.810 --> 00:38:11.820 align:middle line:84%
Not because I don\'t think
that the message is important,

00:38:11.820 --> 00:38:15.720 align:middle line:84%
or that-- to prevent
anybody from coming here

00:38:15.720 --> 00:38:22.770 align:middle line:84%
going through this is good,
just because it hurts so much.

00:38:22.770 --> 00:38:25.620 align:middle line:90%
Every day, I can\'t think.

00:38:25.620 --> 00:38:28.340 align:middle line:90%
Can\'t concentrate.

00:38:28.340 --> 00:38:31.410 align:middle line:84%
To read a book, I have to
read the first page probably

00:38:31.410 --> 00:38:33.680 align:middle line:90%
20 times.

00:38:33.680 --> 00:38:35.500 align:middle line:90%
My hair is falling out.

00:38:35.500 --> 00:38:39.760 align:middle line:84%
You can\'t see, because I have a
hair tie to make it look right,

00:38:39.760 --> 00:38:41.597 align:middle line:84%
but half of my hair
has fallen out.

00:38:41.597 --> 00:38:44.670 align:middle line:90%

00:38:44.670 --> 00:38:45.720 align:middle line:90%
Everything with my body.

00:38:45.720 --> 00:38:49.190 align:middle line:90%

00:38:49.190 --> 00:38:54.930 align:middle line:90%
I still haven\'t had my period.

00:38:54.930 --> 00:39:00.190 align:middle line:84%
Everything is just
wrong about everything.

00:39:00.190 --> 00:39:05.170 align:middle line:84%
I think about the baby and
my other kids all the time.

00:39:05.170 --> 00:39:16.310 align:middle line:90%

00:39:16.310 --> 00:39:21.080 align:middle line:84%
We sent to members of the
work group to Washington state

00:39:21.080 --> 00:39:26.430 align:middle line:84%
to Gig Harbor\'s
facility for Women

00:39:26.430 --> 00:39:30.220 align:middle line:84%
where they have an early
Head Start and a wing

00:39:30.220 --> 00:39:33.680 align:middle line:84%
at the facility where children--
the women who give birth

00:39:33.680 --> 00:39:37.660 align:middle line:84%
are allowed to keep
their children with them.

00:39:37.660 --> 00:39:41.750 align:middle line:84%
And we sent members back
to Bedford Hills into some

00:39:41.750 --> 00:39:44.460 align:middle line:84%
facilities in the
Midwest as well.

00:39:44.460 --> 00:39:49.530 align:middle line:84%
To look at what\'s
happening right now,

00:39:49.530 --> 00:39:53.460 align:middle line:84%
we designed the
prototypes of what

00:39:53.460 --> 00:39:56.360 align:middle line:84%
we would like to have
included if we were

00:39:56.360 --> 00:40:03.730 align:middle line:84%
able to get the funding to
build a facility nursery type

00:40:03.730 --> 00:40:06.600 align:middle line:84%
program, and what would
go along with that.

00:40:06.600 --> 00:40:09.600 align:middle line:84%
Prison nurseries have
been there before.

00:40:09.600 --> 00:40:12.300 align:middle line:84%
We\'re starting to pay more
attention to them because

00:40:12.300 --> 00:40:17.110 align:middle line:84%
of the numbers of women who are
in prisons and having babies.

00:40:17.110 --> 00:40:19.980 align:middle line:84%
I think it\'s important to
recognize a good prison

00:40:19.980 --> 00:40:24.490 align:middle line:84%
nursery that allows the mother
the availability to bond

00:40:24.490 --> 00:40:25.610 align:middle line:90%
with the child.

00:40:25.610 --> 00:40:29.590 align:middle line:84%
And it also allows the mothers
the opportunities to really get

00:40:29.590 --> 00:40:33.540 align:middle line:84%
their act together,
because they have a reason

00:40:33.540 --> 00:40:36.874 align:middle line:84%
to believe that there\'s another
person that depends on them,

00:40:36.874 --> 00:40:38.540 align:middle line:84%
and somebody they\'re
bonded to, somebody

00:40:38.540 --> 00:40:41.210 align:middle line:84%
they have come to love,
and they would do anything

00:40:41.210 --> 00:40:43.740 align:middle line:90%
to have this baby with them.

00:40:43.740 --> 00:40:47.710 align:middle line:84%
There was a conscious
decision not

00:40:47.710 --> 00:40:53.170 align:middle line:84%
to have the children
behind the fences,

00:40:53.170 --> 00:40:56.240 align:middle line:90%
living with their mothers.

00:40:56.240 --> 00:41:01.650 align:middle line:84%
One of the things that
solidified that decision for me

00:41:01.650 --> 00:41:03.680 align:middle line:84%
was hearing of the
two-year-old that

00:41:03.680 --> 00:41:07.050 align:middle line:84%
lined up for count,
institution count,

00:41:07.050 --> 00:41:13.400 align:middle line:84%
when it was time in another
state that will go unnamed.

00:41:13.400 --> 00:41:17.880 align:middle line:84%
And this was normal
for that child.

00:41:17.880 --> 00:41:21.590 align:middle line:84%
Now counts for inmate population
is very normal activity

00:41:21.590 --> 00:41:22.820 align:middle line:90%
that we have to go through.

00:41:22.820 --> 00:41:26.560 align:middle line:84%
But when you realize
that the babies are

00:41:26.560 --> 00:41:30.800 align:middle line:84%
doing that as well,
it had an impact on,

00:41:30.800 --> 00:41:34.000 align:middle line:84%
do we want the babies
and the children

00:41:34.000 --> 00:41:35.120 align:middle line:90%
to live behind the fences?

00:41:35.120 --> 00:41:47.340 align:middle line:90%

00:41:47.340 --> 00:41:51.790 align:middle line:84%
The goals of my
research were initially

00:41:51.790 --> 00:41:53.810 align:middle line:90%
to hear the women\'s voices.

00:41:53.810 --> 00:41:58.900 align:middle line:84%
So initially, I did a two year
cross sectional study which

00:41:58.900 --> 00:42:01.790 align:middle line:90%
had an ethnographic approach.

00:42:01.790 --> 00:42:04.930 align:middle line:84%
That means that I was really
interested in discovering

00:42:04.930 --> 00:42:07.820 align:middle line:84%
the culture and the community
that these women participated

00:42:07.820 --> 00:42:11.310 align:middle line:84%
in as they raised their
children in this unusual place

00:42:11.310 --> 00:42:12.750 align:middle line:90%
to raise a child.

00:42:12.750 --> 00:42:15.090 align:middle line:84%
Based on what they
told me, I came

00:42:15.090 --> 00:42:18.030 align:middle line:84%
to understand that separation
and attachment were

00:42:18.030 --> 00:42:22.190 align:middle line:84%
two very important themes
for this experience.

00:42:22.190 --> 00:42:24.770 align:middle line:84%
And so I designed a
longitudinal study

00:42:24.770 --> 00:42:27.140 align:middle line:84%
and got permission to
follow the women who

00:42:27.140 --> 00:42:29.270 align:middle line:84%
wished to participate
in the study

00:42:29.270 --> 00:42:33.670 align:middle line:84%
from the time they applied and
were accepted in to the nursery

00:42:33.670 --> 00:42:37.590 align:middle line:84%
program through their
entire stay on the nursery,

00:42:37.590 --> 00:42:40.910 align:middle line:84%
and to follow them for
one year of reentry.

00:42:40.910 --> 00:42:43.410 align:middle line:90%
Three goals, really.

00:42:43.410 --> 00:42:48.320 align:middle line:84%
The attachment of the babies
and their development,

00:42:48.320 --> 00:42:51.680 align:middle line:84%
the influence of nursing
visits on that attachment

00:42:51.680 --> 00:42:55.880 align:middle line:84%
and development, and the
effect of the prison program

00:42:55.880 --> 00:42:58.400 align:middle line:90%
on criminal recidivism.

00:42:58.400 --> 00:43:01.290 align:middle line:84%
In order to be eligible to
participate in the nursery

00:43:01.290 --> 00:43:10.160 align:middle line:84%
program, you have to
have a nonviolent crime,

00:43:10.160 --> 00:43:12.910 align:middle line:84%
your sentence had to
be, like, up to a year.

00:43:12.910 --> 00:43:15.280 align:middle line:84%
Because you\'re only
allowed to keep your baby

00:43:15.280 --> 00:43:19.130 align:middle line:84%
in the facility with
you for up to a year.

00:43:19.130 --> 00:43:21.506 align:middle line:84%
The farthest that they would
allow you to keep your baby

00:43:21.506 --> 00:43:23.905 align:middle line:84%
would be 18 months, but
that\'s if you were definitely

00:43:23.905 --> 00:43:25.000 align:middle line:90%
going home.

00:43:25.000 --> 00:43:30.530 align:middle line:84%
The word on the nursery was
that Dr. Mary Byrne, the study

00:43:30.530 --> 00:43:36.490 align:middle line:84%
that she was doing was a great
opportunity to be a part of.

00:43:36.490 --> 00:43:39.010 align:middle line:84%
Your family would be able to
see how your baby\'s developing.

00:43:39.010 --> 00:43:41.460 align:middle line:84%
Because some people
family live far away,

00:43:41.460 --> 00:43:44.620 align:middle line:84%
and it\'s hard for them to get
up there to see the child.

00:43:44.620 --> 00:43:47.450 align:middle line:84%
Inside the prison
nursery, the infants

00:43:47.450 --> 00:43:50.440 align:middle line:84%
and through their first
years of early toddlerhood,

00:43:50.440 --> 00:43:53.880 align:middle line:84%
they are reaching all of their
developmental milestones.

00:43:53.880 --> 00:43:56.240 align:middle line:84%
So these babies are
developing the way

00:43:56.240 --> 00:44:01.430 align:middle line:84%
one would expect a baby
of a given age to develop,

00:44:01.430 --> 00:44:05.690 align:middle line:84%
even if raised in a more
conventional, outside community

00:44:05.690 --> 00:44:07.470 align:middle line:90%
setting.

00:44:07.470 --> 00:44:09.880 align:middle line:84%
And we are confident
about that because we\'ve

00:44:09.880 --> 00:44:12.030 align:middle line:84%
been using what is
really considered

00:44:12.030 --> 00:44:14.490 align:middle line:84%
the gold standard of
developmental assessment

00:44:14.490 --> 00:44:18.010 align:middle line:84%
measures, the Bayley Infant
Scales of Development.

00:44:18.010 --> 00:44:20.720 align:middle line:84%
We use the mental scales,
the motor skills scales,

00:44:20.720 --> 00:44:21.650 align:middle line:90%
and behavioral scales.

00:44:21.650 --> 00:44:24.590 align:middle line:84%
So we use three
different large domains

00:44:24.590 --> 00:44:27.920 align:middle line:84%
that we\'re looking
at and scoring.

00:44:27.920 --> 00:44:30.730 align:middle line:84%
And we\'re basing
these observations

00:44:30.730 --> 00:44:34.990 align:middle line:84%
on developmental assessments
that we do every three months.

00:44:34.990 --> 00:44:40.250 align:middle line:84%
The prison nursery
program benefit me

00:44:40.250 --> 00:44:44.230 align:middle line:84%
for the simple fact I was
able to with my daughter.

00:44:44.230 --> 00:44:48.510 align:middle line:84%
The separation would have been
overwhelming, devastating,

00:44:48.510 --> 00:44:52.550 align:middle line:84%
just to separate from
your first born, at that.

00:44:52.550 --> 00:44:56.390 align:middle line:84%
But any child, I can
just imagine the pain.

00:44:56.390 --> 00:44:59.520 align:middle line:84%
Interestingly enough,
many of our babies

00:44:59.520 --> 00:45:02.650 align:middle line:84%
are actually a high
average or accelerated

00:45:02.650 --> 00:45:05.540 align:middle line:90%
in motor areas of development.

00:45:05.540 --> 00:45:09.680 align:middle line:84%
And they walk before they reach
their first birthday, which

00:45:09.680 --> 00:45:13.860 align:middle line:84%
is within the normal spectrum,
but it\'s on the early end.

00:45:13.860 --> 00:45:17.560 align:middle line:84%
So we seem to have accelerated
motor development and about

00:45:17.560 --> 00:45:20.640 align:middle line:84%
average mental development,
which, just this little

00:45:20.640 --> 00:45:23.310 align:middle line:84%
caution that we\'re going
to look at more closely

00:45:23.310 --> 00:45:25.940 align:middle line:84%
about expressive
language development.

00:45:25.940 --> 00:45:29.770 align:middle line:84%
This is a prison system
that is program oriented

00:45:29.770 --> 00:45:32.980 align:middle line:84%
and that has been very
careful about setting up

00:45:32.980 --> 00:45:36.310 align:middle line:84%
the kinds of support
services and resources

00:45:36.310 --> 00:45:38.730 align:middle line:84%
that women and
children need in order

00:45:38.730 --> 00:45:43.460 align:middle line:84%
to do this unusual thing of
raising a baby behind bars,

00:45:43.460 --> 00:45:44.910 align:middle line:90%
as people like to say.

00:45:44.910 --> 00:45:48.460 align:middle line:84%
You can\'t just take a pregnant
inmate and her new baby

00:45:48.460 --> 00:45:50.740 align:middle line:84%
and put them
together and declare

00:45:50.740 --> 00:45:52.700 align:middle line:84%
that you have a prison
nursery program.

00:45:52.700 --> 00:45:55.780 align:middle line:84%
It really has to be
a well thought out,

00:45:55.780 --> 00:45:58.575 align:middle line:90%
carefully planned program.

00:45:58.575 --> 00:46:01.857 align:middle line:84%
The nursery was wasn\'t
like a prison cell.

00:46:01.857 --> 00:46:02.440 align:middle line:90%
It was a room.

00:46:02.440 --> 00:46:04.410 align:middle line:90%
It had a door.

00:46:04.410 --> 00:46:05.340 align:middle line:90%
There was a bed.

00:46:05.340 --> 00:46:08.020 align:middle line:84%
We had the same beds
as other inmates,

00:46:08.020 --> 00:46:10.910 align:middle line:84%
but that was the only
similarity between us

00:46:10.910 --> 00:46:12.570 align:middle line:90%
and general population.

00:46:12.570 --> 00:46:15.690 align:middle line:84%
But we had a door with
just a little window on it

00:46:15.690 --> 00:46:19.779 align:middle line:84%
that the correctional officers
could look through and see us.

00:46:19.779 --> 00:46:21.320 align:middle line:84%
We were allowed to
decorate it, so we

00:46:21.320 --> 00:46:23.605 align:middle line:84%
didn\'t have to feel
like we were in prison.

00:46:23.605 --> 00:46:26.440 align:middle line:84%
We could make ourselves-- no
one wants to make themselves

00:46:26.440 --> 00:46:29.580 align:middle line:84%
at home at prison, but
that\'s what we did.

00:46:29.580 --> 00:46:31.640 align:middle line:84%
There was toys and
things like that.

00:46:31.640 --> 00:46:34.140 align:middle line:84%
So coming up to the
prison, you wouldn\'t

00:46:34.140 --> 00:46:36.770 align:middle line:84%
think that you were in
prison if you didn\'t see us

00:46:36.770 --> 00:46:39.710 align:middle line:84%
with our greens on,
our state greens on.

00:46:39.710 --> 00:46:43.430 align:middle line:84%
The infants sleep in the same
room as being their mother

00:46:43.430 --> 00:46:44.340 align:middle line:90%
sleeps.

00:46:44.340 --> 00:46:48.180 align:middle line:84%
Mother sleeps in a
typical prison cot.

00:46:48.180 --> 00:46:54.040 align:middle line:84%
The baby has a
conventional baby crib,

00:46:54.040 --> 00:46:55.850 align:middle line:90%
but it\'s near the mother\'s bed.

00:46:55.850 --> 00:46:58.700 align:middle line:84%
And so if the baby were to
awaken during the night,

00:46:58.700 --> 00:47:00.740 align:middle line:84%
it would be the
mother\'s responsibility,

00:47:00.740 --> 00:47:04.080 align:middle line:84%
like most mother\'s
everywhere, to get up

00:47:04.080 --> 00:47:06.290 align:middle line:90%
during the night with that baby.

00:47:06.290 --> 00:47:08.640 align:middle line:84%
I think the real
question is, where

00:47:08.640 --> 00:47:12.210 align:middle line:84%
would these particular babies
be if they couldn\'t stay

00:47:12.210 --> 00:47:15.680 align:middle line:84%
with their mothers while their
mothers were incarcerated?

00:47:15.680 --> 00:47:19.560 align:middle line:84%
And, unfortunately, the answer
to that question in most cases

00:47:19.560 --> 00:47:24.180 align:middle line:84%
seems to be that there is no
place for that baby to go.

00:47:24.180 --> 00:47:28.090 align:middle line:84%
I\'ve asked many of the mothers
what they thought about

00:47:28.090 --> 00:47:31.340 align:middle line:84%
as they made the decision
to apply for the nursery.

00:47:31.340 --> 00:47:35.450 align:middle line:84%
They all had the option
of sending their baby out.

00:47:35.450 --> 00:47:37.250 align:middle line:84%
And many of them
have said there was

00:47:37.250 --> 00:47:39.430 align:middle line:90%
no place for this baby to go.

00:47:39.430 --> 00:47:42.210 align:middle line:84%
In the particular prison
environment where I am,

00:47:42.210 --> 00:47:45.240 align:middle line:84%
I would say it is
virtually risk free.

00:47:45.240 --> 00:47:48.150 align:middle line:84%
And the benefits
that we are measuring

00:47:48.150 --> 00:47:50.820 align:middle line:90%
appear to be significant ones.

00:47:50.820 --> 00:47:53.580 align:middle line:84%
Certainly an infant that
is brought up and that

00:47:53.580 --> 00:47:55.910 align:middle line:84%
meets his developmental
milestones,

00:47:55.910 --> 00:47:59.040 align:middle line:84%
and that has a secure
attachment to a primary figure,

00:47:59.040 --> 00:48:03.990 align:middle line:84%
and that figure is his
mother, her mother, and then

00:48:03.990 --> 00:48:08.180 align:middle line:84%
goes out and continues to
be cared for by that woman,

00:48:08.180 --> 00:48:10.800 align:middle line:84%
and continues to grow
and develop well,

00:48:10.800 --> 00:48:14.370 align:middle line:84%
that\'s really all we could
expect of a prison nursery.

00:48:14.370 --> 00:48:16.436 align:middle line:90%
I want her to love me.

00:48:16.436 --> 00:48:19.050 align:middle line:84%
And I know that if I
had sent her home, not

00:48:19.050 --> 00:48:22.700 align:middle line:84%
to say she wouldn\'t love
me, but all the love,

00:48:22.700 --> 00:48:25.990 align:middle line:84%
the bond wouldn\'t have been
complete if she was to go home.

00:48:25.990 --> 00:48:29.590 align:middle line:84%
That was like, complete
and we see each other eye

00:48:29.590 --> 00:48:32.420 align:middle line:84%
to eye. [LAUGHS] But
the love is there.

00:48:32.420 --> 00:48:35.726 align:middle line:84%
She loves her mother
and I love her.

00:48:35.726 --> 00:48:38.780 align:middle line:84%
I think everybody could be a
better role model, a better

00:48:38.780 --> 00:48:39.280 align:middle line:90%
parent.

00:48:39.280 --> 00:48:41.900 align:middle line:90%

00:48:41.900 --> 00:48:44.340 align:middle line:84%
But I feel like I
was a mother, and I\'m

00:48:44.340 --> 00:48:47.540 align:middle line:90%
going to be a good mother.

00:48:47.540 --> 00:48:50.820 align:middle line:84%
They have a lot of things
here that help improve that.

00:48:50.820 --> 00:48:54.660 align:middle line:84%
They have parenting classes
and things like that.

00:48:54.660 --> 00:48:58.490 align:middle line:84%
I take full responsibility
for what I\'ve done.

00:48:58.490 --> 00:49:00.280 align:middle line:84%
I made bad choices
in using drugs.

00:49:00.280 --> 00:49:05.130 align:middle line:84%
That made bad choices, led
me to make bad choices.

00:49:05.130 --> 00:49:11.130 align:middle line:84%
But I can blame no one but
myself for what I\'ve done.

00:49:11.130 --> 00:49:12.910 align:middle line:84%
I\'m much, much
stronger of a person

00:49:12.910 --> 00:49:15.670 align:middle line:84%
nowadays than I was
before I came to prison.

00:49:15.670 --> 00:49:18.100 align:middle line:84%
Going through the whole
deal I had to go through.

00:49:18.100 --> 00:49:21.770 align:middle line:84%
Being pregnant and incarcerated
made me a much stronger person.

00:49:21.770 --> 00:49:24.180 align:middle line:84%
If I can deal with that,
I can deal with anything.

00:49:24.180 --> 00:49:27.410 align:middle line:84%
Being clean and sober, I have
a different outlook on life.

00:49:27.410 --> 00:49:31.000 align:middle line:90%
Using meth and committing crime.

00:49:31.000 --> 00:49:34.370 align:middle line:84%
The meth-- they just
kind of go hand in hand.

00:49:34.370 --> 00:49:36.630 align:middle line:84%
I\'ve been incarcerated
for nine months now,

00:49:36.630 --> 00:49:39.320 align:middle line:84%
so I\'ve got a little over
nine months clean and sober.

00:49:39.320 --> 00:49:44.060 align:middle line:84%
And I just recently started
thinking clearly and feeling

00:49:44.060 --> 00:49:48.720 align:middle line:84%
like I had-- my life was
becoming manageable again.

00:49:48.720 --> 00:49:51.500 align:middle line:84%
Things weren\'t just
out of control.

00:49:51.500 --> 00:49:53.950 align:middle line:84%
And that\'s what happens
when you\'re using meth.

00:49:53.950 --> 00:49:57.110 align:middle line:84%
Things just-- it\'s
just like you\'re

00:49:57.110 --> 00:49:58.780 align:middle line:90%
in a whole different world.

00:49:58.780 --> 00:50:01.610 align:middle line:84%
I don\'t think about old people,
places, and things anymore.

00:50:01.610 --> 00:50:04.910 align:middle line:84%
I think about what I can
do to make a difference.

00:50:04.910 --> 00:50:08.339 align:middle line:84%
And I have two
teenage daughters that

00:50:08.339 --> 00:50:10.130 align:middle line:84%
are going through a
lot of stuff right now,

00:50:10.130 --> 00:50:16.800 align:middle line:84%
and that also has
opened my eyes to-- I

00:50:16.800 --> 00:50:18.200 align:middle line:90%
can\'t be selfish anymore.

00:50:18.200 --> 00:50:19.810 align:middle line:90%
I can\'t.

00:50:19.810 --> 00:50:20.930 align:middle line:90%
I can\'t escape.

00:50:20.930 --> 00:50:24.080 align:middle line:90%
I can\'t commit crime.

00:50:24.080 --> 00:50:24.950 align:middle line:90%
I can\'t.

00:50:24.950 --> 00:50:27.370 align:middle line:84%
Those things are not an
option for me anymore.

00:50:27.370 --> 00:50:30.390 align:middle line:90%

00:50:30.390 --> 00:50:32.240 align:middle line:84%
So I\'m going to use
the rest of this time

00:50:32.240 --> 00:50:34.280 align:middle line:84%
that I\'m incarcerated
to better myself

00:50:34.280 --> 00:50:38.010 align:middle line:84%
and build a support
network and make

00:50:38.010 --> 00:50:39.980 align:middle line:84%
sure that I have
the things that I

00:50:39.980 --> 00:50:42.740 align:middle line:90%
need upon my release to succeed.

00:50:42.740 --> 00:50:44.680 align:middle line:84%
The thing that you really
got to watch out for

00:50:44.680 --> 00:50:46.096 align:middle line:84%
is the people,
places, and things,

00:50:46.096 --> 00:50:47.420 align:middle line:90%
just like Christina said.

00:50:47.420 --> 00:50:49.330 align:middle line:90%
That\'s what will get you.

00:50:49.330 --> 00:50:50.380 align:middle line:90%
Being around old people.

00:50:50.380 --> 00:50:53.810 align:middle line:84%
And with me, that includes my
mother, my father, my sisters,

00:50:53.810 --> 00:50:56.300 align:middle line:84%
my brothers, so it\'s
a little bit hard,

00:50:56.300 --> 00:50:59.069 align:middle line:84%
because I don\'t have a
very good support system.

00:50:59.069 --> 00:51:00.860 align:middle line:84%
My main goal in life
is just to do whatever

00:51:00.860 --> 00:51:03.800 align:middle line:84%
I have to do to get my kids
back, and to be a better parent

00:51:03.800 --> 00:51:06.540 align:middle line:84%
than my mom was to me,
or my dad was to me.

00:51:06.540 --> 00:51:10.310 align:middle line:84%
You take somebody
who has grown up

00:51:10.310 --> 00:51:16.090 align:middle line:84%
in a difficult and abusive
environment, without good role

00:51:16.090 --> 00:51:20.010 align:middle line:90%
models, often in poverty.

00:51:20.010 --> 00:51:23.990 align:middle line:90%
You mix in addiction.

00:51:23.990 --> 00:51:28.500 align:middle line:84%
You mix in lack of
education, and you\'ve

00:51:28.500 --> 00:51:32.590 align:middle line:84%
got a problem that is really,
really hard to unravel.

00:51:32.590 --> 00:51:38.350 align:middle line:84%
There isn\'t any 24 week program
that turns that stuff around.

00:51:38.350 --> 00:51:41.070 align:middle line:84%
I honestly believe
prison worked for me.

00:51:41.070 --> 00:51:44.340 align:middle line:84%
My hopes and dreams are
never to go back there.

00:51:44.340 --> 00:51:47.910 align:middle line:84%
But while I was there,
I did utilize everything

00:51:47.910 --> 00:51:50.660 align:middle line:90%
that they had to offer.

00:51:50.660 --> 00:51:52.180 align:middle line:90%
I went through school.

00:51:52.180 --> 00:51:54.215 align:middle line:90%
I went through my GED.

00:51:54.215 --> 00:51:56.130 align:middle line:84%
I took a lot of
cognitive programs.

00:51:56.130 --> 00:52:00.310 align:middle line:90%

00:52:00.310 --> 00:52:03.390 align:middle line:84%
I never really got in any
kind of trouble whatsoever

00:52:03.390 --> 00:52:03.950 align:middle line:90%
in prison.

00:52:03.950 --> 00:52:07.340 align:middle line:84%
I had a pretty
clean record there.

00:52:07.340 --> 00:52:12.660 align:middle line:84%
And I actually learned how
to respect authority figure.

00:52:12.660 --> 00:52:21.090 align:middle line:84%
My biggest regret
the charges that day.

00:52:21.090 --> 00:52:22.590 align:middle line:84%
I should\'ve handled
it-- I should\'ve

00:52:22.590 --> 00:52:25.420 align:middle line:84%
stepped back and
evaluated the situation

00:52:25.420 --> 00:52:29.250 align:middle line:84%
and done it differently,
because then I wouldn\'t be here.

00:52:29.250 --> 00:52:32.570 align:middle line:84%
And my family and
my kids wouldn\'t

00:52:32.570 --> 00:52:36.000 align:middle line:84%
be doing the time
with me, you know?

00:52:36.000 --> 00:52:37.747 align:middle line:90%
I\'d be at the home.

00:52:37.747 --> 00:52:42.170 align:middle line:84%
[CRYING] It\'s really
important not to come here.

00:52:42.170 --> 00:52:43.670 align:middle line:84%
It\'s probably the
worst thing that\'s

00:52:43.670 --> 00:52:47.780 align:middle line:84%
ever happened to me
and to my family.

00:52:47.780 --> 00:52:50.870 align:middle line:84%
I\'ve been with the
department 27 years,

00:52:50.870 --> 00:52:54.320 align:middle line:84%
and I used to work the visiting
rooms of the penitentiary,

00:52:54.320 --> 00:52:59.370 align:middle line:84%
where I would see dads with
their little kids coming in.

00:52:59.370 --> 00:53:03.170 align:middle line:84%
And then over the years, as I
spent time with the Department,

00:53:03.170 --> 00:53:05.590 align:middle line:84%
I\'ve seen those
little kids grown up

00:53:05.590 --> 00:53:07.490 align:middle line:90%
and coming in as prisoners.

00:53:07.490 --> 00:53:17.140 align:middle line:90%

00:53:17.140 --> 00:53:20.430 align:middle line:84%
What I regret the
most in my life

00:53:20.430 --> 00:53:31.860 align:middle line:84%
is not being able to
parent my children

00:53:31.860 --> 00:53:37.720 align:middle line:84%
to the best of my ability,
and not knowing how to.

00:53:37.720 --> 00:53:42.980 align:middle line:84%
The baby that has no consistency
in his or her environment,

00:53:42.980 --> 00:53:47.880 align:middle line:84%
meaning that they\'re
move from one placement

00:53:47.880 --> 00:53:51.730 align:middle line:84%
to another, one foster home to
another, a medical foster home,

00:53:51.730 --> 00:53:53.364 align:middle line:90%
another foster home.

00:53:53.364 --> 00:53:55.030 align:middle line:84%
Sometimes they\'re
placed with a sibling,

00:53:55.030 --> 00:53:56.800 align:middle line:84%
sometimes they\'re
placed with the family.

00:53:56.800 --> 00:53:59.820 align:middle line:84%
They might be there for a few
months and then move again.

00:53:59.820 --> 00:54:02.930 align:middle line:84%
Those are children that
develop some very significant

00:54:02.930 --> 00:54:07.450 align:middle line:84%
and serious behavioral
emotional issues.

00:54:07.450 --> 00:54:09.990 align:middle line:84%
The most important thing
that we need to talk about

00:54:09.990 --> 00:54:11.120 align:middle line:90%
is attachment.

00:54:11.120 --> 00:54:13.020 align:middle line:84%
And what we\'ve come
to recognize is

00:54:13.020 --> 00:54:15.260 align:middle line:84%
that attachment is
one of the, really,

00:54:15.260 --> 00:54:18.880 align:middle line:84%
building blocks of how
children, or human beings,

00:54:18.880 --> 00:54:22.470 align:middle line:84%
develop empathy, a level of
consciousness about who they

00:54:22.470 --> 00:54:26.480 align:middle line:84%
are and how they relate
to the world around them.

00:54:26.480 --> 00:54:29.330 align:middle line:84%
Prior to my incarceration, I
knew I was coming to prison.

00:54:29.330 --> 00:54:35.600 align:middle line:84%
And I was selfish and careless
and became pregnant right

00:54:35.600 --> 00:54:44.060 align:middle line:84%
before I got arrested, and put
someone else\'s life in jeopardy

00:54:44.060 --> 00:54:50.360 align:middle line:84%
as well as mine, which is
my son, which I-- I could\'ve

00:54:50.360 --> 00:54:53.720 align:middle line:84%
made better choices
and practiced safe sex,

00:54:53.720 --> 00:54:58.040 align:middle line:84%
or done something to
avoid the situation.

00:54:58.040 --> 00:55:01.810 align:middle line:84%
But I was selfish and
didn\'t think about it.

00:55:01.810 --> 00:55:04.910 align:middle line:84%
We feel fortunate that
we were chosen by her.

00:55:04.910 --> 00:55:07.956 align:middle line:90%
It was definitely a good match.

00:55:07.956 --> 00:55:11.420 align:middle line:84%
Through the whole process,
our counselors kept saying,

00:55:11.420 --> 00:55:13.780 align:middle line:84%
when it\'s the right
fit, you\'ll know.

00:55:13.780 --> 00:55:14.910 align:middle line:90%
It will be perfect.

00:55:14.910 --> 00:55:16.290 align:middle line:90%
And it was.

00:55:16.290 --> 00:55:19.560 align:middle line:90%
Haydan is a lucky, lucky boy.

00:55:19.560 --> 00:55:24.144 align:middle line:84%
He\'s got a lot of people that
love him and take care of him.

00:55:24.144 --> 00:55:28.873 align:middle line:84%
[MUSIC - MARK ALAN, \"THERE I GO
AGAIN]

00:55:28.873 --> 00:58:12.734 align:middle line:90%

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