1

00:00:03,235 --> 00:00:05,835

What, try to summarize Marx?

 

2

00:00:05,969 --> 00:00:09,334

That's not only a sacrilege,

but a complete waste of time.

 

3

00:00:09,467 --> 00:00:10,535

Oh!

 

4

00:00:10,668 --> 00:00:13,235

Because Comrade Karl

is supposed to be

 

5

00:00:13,368 --> 00:00:17,435

completely beyond the range

of simple minds.

 

6

00:00:17,568 --> 00:00:20,868

And here we have a simple mind,

a caveman.

 

7

00:00:21,001 --> 00:00:22,201

♪♪

 

8

00:00:22,335 --> 00:00:24,268

(lightning crashes)

 

9

00:00:24,401 --> 00:00:25,868

Being totally ignorant,

 

10

00:00:26,001 --> 00:00:27,734

he's frightened of everything.

 

11

00:00:27,868 --> 00:00:28,834

♪♪

 

12

00:00:28,968 --> 00:00:33,767

(dinosaur roaring)

 

13

00:00:33,901 --> 00:00:36,401

♪♪

 

14

00:00:36,535 --> 00:00:38,735

This is an Egyptian priest.

 

15

00:00:38,869 --> 00:00:41,435

He claims to understand

the working of the elements

 

16

00:00:41,568 --> 00:00:43,601

and that they are controlled

by spirits.

 

17

00:00:43,734 --> 00:00:45,235

I know more than you.

 

18

00:00:45,368 --> 00:00:46,901

That makes me upper class.

 

19

00:00:47,034 --> 00:00:49,034

-And me?

-Working class.

 

20

00:00:49,168 --> 00:00:50,601

So, work.

 

21

00:00:50,734 --> 00:00:52,101

What about me?

 

22

00:00:52,235 --> 00:00:53,335

You're a woman.

 

23

00:00:53,468 --> 00:00:55,101

Get back to the kitchen.

 

24

00:00:55,235 --> 00:01:04,901

♪♪

 

25

00:01:05,034 --> 00:01:06,335

I don't need a priest.

 

26

00:01:06,468 --> 00:01:07,734

I need a philosopher.

 

27

00:01:07,868 --> 00:01:09,468

If oxen could draw,

 

28

00:01:09,602 --> 00:01:12,868

they would draw pictures

of gods that look like oxen.

 

29

00:01:13,001 --> 00:01:14,268

Heretic!

 

30

00:01:14,401 --> 00:01:17,667

What is the force that keeps

the universe in motion?

 

31

00:01:17,801 --> 00:01:19,134

Atheist!

 

32

00:01:19,268 --> 00:01:20,935

(grunts)

 

33

00:01:21,069 --> 00:01:24,401

Life is the result of a perfect

mathematical relationship

 

34

00:01:24,535 --> 00:01:26,235

between parts of the body.

 

35

00:01:26,368 --> 00:01:29,934

Ooh, you pervert!

 

36

00:01:30,068 --> 00:01:32,768

What about me?

 

37

00:01:32,902 --> 00:01:36,335

Well, speaking as

the father of dialectics,

 

38

00:01:36,468 --> 00:01:38,834

that is the art of argument,

 

39

00:01:38,968 --> 00:01:39,834

I say--

 

40

00:01:39,968 --> 00:01:42,068

Cantankerous old fart!

 

41

00:01:42,201 --> 00:01:43,568

Kill him!

 

42

00:01:43,702 --> 00:01:45,135

Don't worry about this world.

 

43

00:01:45,269 --> 00:01:48,101

There's a better one

coming along in the next life.

 

44

00:01:48,235 --> 00:01:49,702

Hey, that's better.

 

45

00:01:49,835 --> 00:01:51,435

That's a load of rubbish,

mister.

 

46

00:01:51,568 --> 00:01:53,101

Seeing is believing.

 

47

00:01:53,235 --> 00:01:54,601

Does that mean I get a raise?

 

48

00:01:54,734 --> 00:01:55,868

Not a chance.

 

49

00:01:56,001 --> 00:01:57,568

You're still a slave.

 

50

00:01:57,702 --> 00:02:01,634

But never fear,

here comes a whole new age.

 

51

00:02:01,767 --> 00:02:03,235

The Age of Faith.

 

52

00:02:03,368 --> 00:02:05,301

(religious chanting)

 

53

00:02:05,435 --> 00:02:07,535

This is the Age of Faith,

 

54

00:02:07,668 --> 00:02:09,968

and nobody can believe anything

 

55

00:02:10,101 --> 00:02:11,567

unless I say so.

 

56

00:02:11,701 --> 00:02:12,767

Great.

 

57

00:02:12,901 --> 00:02:13,934

I believe.

 

58

00:02:14,068 --> 00:02:16,001

I believe, uh,

 

59

00:02:16,134 --> 00:02:17,268

what about a raise?

 

60

00:02:17,401 --> 00:02:18,734

Shut up, you stupid servant.

 

61

00:02:18,868 --> 00:02:19,768

Get back to work.

 

62

00:02:19,902 --> 00:02:21,535

There will be

no more philosophers

 

63

00:02:21,668 --> 00:02:23,301

until the Renaissance.

 

64

00:02:23,435 --> 00:02:24,834

What about me?

 

65

00:02:24,968 --> 00:02:26,268

Shut up, woman.

 

66

00:02:26,401 --> 00:02:28,068

And what about me?

 

67

00:02:28,201 --> 00:02:29,801

It's illegal.

 

68

00:02:29,934 --> 00:02:31,235

Come to jail.

 

69

00:02:31,368 --> 00:02:32,501

(snickering)

 

70

00:02:32,634 --> 00:02:33,601

♪♪

 

71

00:02:33,734 --> 00:02:34,934

The Renaissance,

 

72

00:02:35,068 --> 00:02:37,201

and Machiavelli noticed

that the church

 

73

00:02:37,335 --> 00:02:40,168

had appropriated God

for its own ends.

 

74

00:02:40,301 --> 00:02:41,935

Bacon was wondering why it was

 

75

00:02:42,069 --> 00:02:44,034

that the countries

with the most nobles

 

76

00:02:44,168 --> 00:02:46,134

also had the most misery.

 

77

00:02:46,268 --> 00:02:49,168

Da Vinci was drawing

dirty scientific pictures

 

78

00:02:49,301 --> 00:02:50,635

in perspective.

 

79

00:02:50,768 --> 00:02:53,301

Copernicus spotted

that the world was round,

 

80

00:02:53,435 --> 00:02:56,468

and Galileo worked out

that it went 'round the sun.

 

81

00:02:56,602 --> 00:02:59,268

Descartes was thinking,

therefore he was.

 

82

00:02:59,401 --> 00:03:01,134

Oh, mamma mia.

 

83

00:03:01,268 --> 00:03:03,968

Isn't anyone going to burn

this lot for me?

 

84

00:03:04,101 --> 00:03:05,235

(slicing)

 

85

00:03:05,368 --> 00:03:07,901

♪♪

 

86

00:03:08,034 --> 00:03:10,601

Liberté,

 

87

00:03:10,734 --> 00:03:13,601

égalité,

 

88

00:03:13,734 --> 00:03:15,201

fraternité.

 

89

00:03:15,335 --> 00:03:19,602

Voilàà, that got rid

of us ruling aristocrats.

 

90

00:03:19,735 --> 00:03:21,568

Now can I have a raise please?

 

91

00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:24,468

À regret, not just now.

 

92

00:03:24,602 --> 00:03:27,134

But you can always find

another job

 

93

00:03:27,268 --> 00:03:28,601

if you're not happy.

 

94

00:03:28,734 --> 00:03:30,567

The liberty to starve?

 

95

00:03:30,701 --> 00:03:31,667

Great.

 

96

00:03:31,801 --> 00:03:32,934

What's needed here

 

97

00:03:33,068 --> 00:03:36,168

is another one

of them philosophers.

 

98

00:03:36,301 --> 00:03:37,934

What's the problem, son?

 

99

00:03:38,068 --> 00:03:39,801

Weren't you watching the film?

 

100

00:03:39,934 --> 00:03:41,368

Oh, that, yes.

 

101

00:03:41,502 --> 00:03:44,201

Well, the eternal struggle

between the classes

 

102

00:03:44,335 --> 00:03:45,735

had led to progress,

 

103

00:03:45,869 --> 00:03:48,335

but the working man

is never any better off.

 

104

00:03:48,468 --> 00:03:51,602

This wonderful Age of Reason

has brought in a new

 

105

00:03:51,735 --> 00:03:54,901

and even larger upper class

for you to support:

 

106

00:03:55,034 --> 00:03:57,400

the capitalist bourgeoisie.

 

107

00:03:57,534 --> 00:03:59,201

Uh, what?

 

108

00:03:59,335 --> 00:04:02,268

Your problem is now

an economic one.

 

109

00:04:02,401 --> 00:04:04,235

Problems? Problems?

 

110

00:04:04,368 --> 00:04:06,101

Now, who's got problems?

 

111

00:04:06,235 --> 00:04:07,901

Me, I've got a problem.

 

112

00:04:08,034 --> 00:04:08,968

I'm broke.

 

113

00:04:09,101 --> 00:04:10,335

No problem, lad.

 

114

00:04:10,468 --> 00:04:11,667

Sell something.

 

115

00:04:11,801 --> 00:04:12,701

Sell?

 

116

00:04:12,834 --> 00:04:14,034

Are you stupid?

 

117

00:04:14,168 --> 00:04:16,701

-Sell what?

-A little of your time, lad.

 

118

00:04:16,834 --> 00:04:18,567

Come and work for me.

 

119

00:04:18,701 --> 00:04:19,835

How much time?

 

120

00:04:19,969 --> 00:04:22,235

Well, how long

were you thinking of living?

 

121

00:04:22,368 --> 00:04:24,835

I will pay you money,

and all you have to do

 

122

00:04:24,969 --> 00:04:28,268

is produce commodities

in my factories.

 

123

00:04:28,401 --> 00:04:30,034

Yeah, yeah.

 

124

00:04:30,168 --> 00:04:31,668

♪♪

 

125

00:04:31,802 --> 00:04:34,901

Lots of lovely money

to spend on, uh,

 

126

00:04:35,034 --> 00:04:36,101

commodities.

 

127

00:04:36,235 --> 00:04:38,435

Have a commodity, old chap.

 

128

00:04:38,568 --> 00:04:40,134

Don't mind if I do.

 

129

00:04:40,268 --> 00:04:43,001

Hang about,

if you pay for labor,

 

130

00:04:43,134 --> 00:04:45,568

and I pay you for goods,

 

131

00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:47,635

why are you so much richer

than me?

 

132

00:04:47,768 --> 00:04:49,968

A capitalist

has to have capital, you know,

 

133

00:04:50,101 --> 00:04:52,734

to build factories

for you to work in.

 

134

00:04:52,868 --> 00:04:54,602

It doesn't belong to me,

 

135

00:04:54,735 --> 00:04:56,702

little working-class scum.

 

136

00:04:56,835 --> 00:04:59,468

It belongs to the wonderful

company we all serve

 

137

00:04:59,602 --> 00:05:01,802

as one big happy family.

 

138

00:05:01,935 --> 00:05:04,568

Ask him where

the profit comes from.

 

139

00:05:04,702 --> 00:05:06,667

Where's the profit come from,

squire?

 

140

00:05:06,801 --> 00:05:08,367

It comes from God.

 

141

00:05:08,501 --> 00:05:09,568

Profit?

 

142

00:05:09,702 --> 00:05:12,001

Yes, well,

we have to make these savings

 

143

00:05:12,134 --> 00:05:13,034

where we can.

 

144

00:05:13,168 --> 00:05:14,134

Have one of these.

 

145

00:05:14,268 --> 00:05:15,702

Ta very much, guv.

 

146

00:05:15,835 --> 00:05:18,934

The profit comes

from unpaid labor, dummy.

 

147

00:05:19,068 --> 00:05:20,602

It only takes half your time

 

148

00:05:20,735 --> 00:05:22,802

to produce enough

to pay your wages.

 

149

00:05:22,935 --> 00:05:25,068

The rest of the time

you're working for nothing,

 

150

00:05:25,201 --> 00:05:27,468

to produce profit

for the bosses.

 

151

00:05:27,602 --> 00:05:29,101

You're right, brother.

 

152

00:05:29,235 --> 00:05:38,301

♪♪

 

153

00:05:38,435 --> 00:05:40,667

What about me then?

 

154

00:05:40,801 --> 00:06:14,869

♪♪

 

155

00:06:15,002 --> 00:06:18,068

Oi, I haven't said anything

about dialectical materialism.

 

156

00:06:18,201 --> 00:06:19,068

Stop, wait!

 

157

00:06:19,201 --> 00:06:21,034

I had a fascinating sex life.

 

158

00:06:21,168 --> 00:06:22,667

And what about--