Saturday. Nightfall. Lucía sets off to pick up her brother under the lights…
One Taxi Ride
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- Reviews
- Citation
- Cataloging
- Transcript
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Erick has been the recluse in the family for the past decade. Nobody but him knows why. Ten years ago, on his 17th birthday, his life took a harrowing turn when he boarded a taxi. The driver and two accomplices sexually assaulted him. For the then-teenager, there would be no police reports. No medical attention. No support groups or counseling. No telling his family or closest friends.
After feeling broken for a decade, the 27-year-old is now ready to confront his past and reclaim his future. Would he find the perpetrators? How would his family and friends react to his secret? What would come of his romantic life? Is he prepared to face the judgment of Mexico’s hypermasculine society?
One Taxi Ride is an observational documentary that tells the intimate story of a male rape survivor. Erick’s innermost thoughts, fears, struggles, and triumphs weave a dramatic tale of a man fighting for a future and a life worth living. His journey impacts the world around him in a way that he never saw coming.
"A powerful story that brings much-needed awareness to male victims of sexual assault...an amazing documentary, so honest, real and powerful." — Malika Harris, Irish Film Critic
"The story needs to be told and it has vital importance to society as a whole." — Michael Frank, Ready Steady Cut
Citation
Main credits
Mak, C. K. (film director)
Mak, C. K. (film producer)
Rangel Ordóñez, Román (film producer)
Cid Gutiérrez, Erick Ricardo (on-screen participant)
Other credits
Music, James Morris.
Distributor subjects
Criminal Justice; Gender + Sexuality Studies; Family; Sociology; Youth; Human Rights; Family; Mental HealthKeywords
WEBVTT
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I feel that after 10 years, I am ready because I am tired.
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I’m tired of hiding, of living a lie.
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Wonderland Pictures Presenta
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You’ve taught me that being a son of a bitch like you
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is not who I want to be.
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I didn’t tell anyone.
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I was very ashamed.
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I really felt like garbage.
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Like a piece of worthless gum on the floor.
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I don’t know, I think that’s why my relationships have never worked out.
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Un Viaje en Taxi
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Ciudad de México
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When it comes to love, I haven’t had much luck.
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My longest relationship lasted eight months.
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He cheated on me and all so it was awful.
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I imagine that you have similar stories.
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I was in long-term relationships so they were more like…
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I don’t know, it’s different.
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I mean, I’ve also had romances that were fleeting, right?
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But without a doubt, it’s different with you.
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I hope so. I do…
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But why do you think you haven\'t had much luck?
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I think it has to do with my temper.
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I’m short-tempered. I like things my way.
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Anyway I’ve already told you that
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I like your eyes very much and your smile.
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You seem nice.
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You don’t seem like a bad person, honestly.
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I’m not bad. I’m short-tempered but I’m not a bad person.
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I want to be with you.
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I don’t know what’s going to happen
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but the truth is I don’t want to be a disappointment.
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You don’t want to be a disappointment and I know you won\'t be.
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That’s why I’m telling you to take things slow
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so that we can get to know each other.
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To figure out what it is about me that bothers you and vice versa.
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So you can see that I’m not like some men who are always nice.
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That’s right.
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They’re going to say that we are like brothers who dress alike.
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Do you want me to wear something else?
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Do you feel uncomfortable wearing the same outfit as me?
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I don’t know, I\'ve never done it. It feels weird.
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I’ll take it off then. Do you want me to change?
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I don’t know, if you prefer to.
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I’m asking you.
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Whatever.
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I can change and put this one on.
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I don’t know. What do you prefer?
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You decide, baby, I’m not the one feeling uncomfortable.
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There look.
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Four.
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Double.
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We just needed to turn it on.
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Yes because the peel is done already.
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But we don’t eat the peel.
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Well we’re just missing the thing that goes with…
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Hey…
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What?
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What do you think?
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Oh… So cute.
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Really?
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Very helpful.
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He looks different in the photos.
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Not really, he looks the same.
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He seems to get on very well with us.
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As if we have known each other for a long time.
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Yeah, he’s really sweet. That’s what I like most about him.
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When we started going out,
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I couldn’t believe that we had so much chemistry.
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Exactly and he’s the one that looks after you.
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Lots.
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He\'s really sweet. I’ll remember that he likes Selena Gomez.
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I can’t forgive him for that.
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I’ll consider that if he wants to join the family.
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I’m going to teach him about good music.
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It’s impossible. Once he was listening to my playlist
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and asked me, “Can I play some Lady Gaga?”
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What did your mum say?
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That she was anxious.
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I don’t have anything for your mum. Now I’m worried.
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My mum is going to say, “As long as you take care of my angel.”
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Did you prepare what to say to my mum when you first met her?
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No, I was really nervous.
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I have to confess something.
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When I arrived at your cafe,
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I didn’t see you there.
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I just saw whom I thought was your mum.
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So I walked past your place and called you to say that
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I’d missed it so that you would come outside.
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Great. So it has been lies, nothing but lies from the beginning.
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I know we have not been dating long but I really like him.
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Now this is the part where he gets awkward about it.
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But I wanted you to meet him because I like him a lot.
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And you know how long it has been since I met someone.
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Erick is really unique.
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He is very responsible and he’s a good person.
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His family is very sweet and they have good values.
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He is very educated and hardworking.
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He’s a fighter and he loves me.
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Well yes.
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I didn’t know you but I’d already started to like you.
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Because Rodolfo had told me about you and what you\'re like.
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And it was as if I already knew you.
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The main thing is that if my son accepts you,
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then he sees your qualities and who you are.
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So I’ve accepted you too.
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Thank you very much. How kind of you.
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Thanks for loving my son.
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Thank you very much. You are really very sweet.
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I\'m more relaxed and happier.
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Even more so now that I\'ve met you.
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I feel better now that I know he has someone.
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Thank you very much.
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Yes, we will do our best and I’ll take care of him.
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Thank you very much. And you take care of him as well.
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Of course.
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Listen to your mother and take care of me!
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And look, if he misbehaves…
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I will call you.
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I grant you permission to do whatever.
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Ok, yes, yes.
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Many people say that you have to be strong, because you are a man.
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You have to deal with it. You shouldn’t cry, you shouldn’t say anything.
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And when you do,
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when you show the defenseless side of you,
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or you show vulnerability, people don’t know what to do.
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Many take advantage of you, many get scared and say, “No, I can’t.”
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Erick is home, isn’t he?
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He went out with Rodolfo but he would rather not speak with us.
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Nothing at all.
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Well it\'s just the way he is.
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Sometimes you have to understand.
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Well yes but he gets home and that\'s it.
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We get back home and he goes to bed.
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Then he wakes up sleepy the next day and doesn’t talk either.
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And at night, they are tired and annoyed.
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You know how it is, very tiresome.
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Well I know Erick obviously doesn’t open up very much with you all
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and talk about his feelings or how he feels, right?
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But do you think that he has this attitude
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because perhaps there’s something missing for him
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or that he is not entirely happy?
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He has always been the same.
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I tried talking to him but…
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Yeah it’s hard when people have a strong personality.
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And even more so when it’s someone in your family right?
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I’ve stopped paying attention to him.
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We are working here all day, all day long we are like this.
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But it doesn\'t last.
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The money doesn\'t last.
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Think about it. We are here all day, every day
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just to get a little bit of cash.
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It’s better if we do something else and earn more.
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Well yes, I used to do better at the beauty salon.
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Now I don\'t have any money, nothing at all.
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Remember when I used to be able to celebrate your birthdays,
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Christmas and all.
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Now I can’t.
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We have to do something, sell something else or…
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I’m thinking of sandwiches.
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Well yes but we can\'t sell sandwiches all day long.
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Well no, it has to be early.
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We also can’t force people to buy four sandwiches each.
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No, but we get here too late.
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That would be because of you all.
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I’m up and get ready right away.
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No, not me.
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Saul then.
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I’m the first one up.
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Ready Rodri?
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Yes mum.
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How was your day?
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Good.
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Nice and Pollo?
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He stayed there a little longer.
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See you tomorrow.
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That’s a solid colour anyway, look.
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I’m not making you take it, right?
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Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.
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Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.
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My brother is a very, very complicated person.
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He has a fucking horrible personality.
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From what I remember, he was a normal child.
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He wanted to play and he used to love acting.
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We went out to play on the streets.
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We played video games like normal kids.
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But in recent years, our relationship has changed completely.
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As time went on, he became a very angry person.
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I feel that he bears a lot of resentment and hatred.
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In his head and in his body.
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I don’t know towards what or whom exactly
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but he manifests those feelings towards everyone.
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We tell him, let’s go eat and he goes away.
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He is not close to us, so I feel really bad.
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I pray a lot.
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I am taking courses to learn how to handle the situation.
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Because there are times when I want to just leave him there to work alone.
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But I can’t leave him alone because there is a lot of work.
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But yes, it can be really infuriating.
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The thing I remember the most is Erick and Saul fighting.
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Erick was so angry that while arguing
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that he went to the kitchen, grabbed a knife and told him,
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“I’m going to kill you,” with tears in his eyes.
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I’m Erick, Ricardo. I’m your son.
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And I’m here to tell you everything I like about you
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but especially what I don’t like about you.
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I have anger, resentment, and a lot of hatred towards you.
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For what you have done to us.
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For turning your back when we needed you most.
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Because you see us as enemies and not as your children.
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You are always defensive, always angry.
00:16:09.970 --> 00:16:12.800
You always fight and we’re scared of talking to you.
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Scared to tell you anything or to approach you.
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I feel bad because you’re my father and you\'ve taught me many things.
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You’ve taught me that being a son of a bitch like you
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is not who I want to be.
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I am angry about how you treated my mum, that you hit her.
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That you hit her once in front of us, in front of me.
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I am angry that you kicked us out of your house.
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That you left us with nothing.
00:16:48.020 --> 00:16:49.400
It’s over.
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Okay.
00:16:57.620 --> 00:16:59.550
It’s intense, right?
00:17:01.170 --> 00:17:03.550
And can you forgive him?
00:17:06.900 --> 00:17:09.620
No, I can’t forgive you.
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Hello.
00:17:25.250 --> 00:17:27.520
Because of the way I am, I\'m very demanding of myself.
00:17:27.520 --> 00:17:31.120
Maybe I am too tough on myself sometimes.
00:17:31.120 --> 00:17:35.520
When my father judges my paintings, he is very harsh.
00:17:35.520 --> 00:17:38.470
Very harsh. He would tell me, \"I don’t like that.”
00:17:38.470 --> 00:17:40.720
I did not have a relationship with my father.
00:17:40.720 --> 00:17:46.520
We stopped living with him when I was eight years old.
00:17:46.520 --> 00:17:50.370
More recently, like five years ago,
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I saw him again after years of not having seen him.
00:17:54.950 --> 00:18:01.070
And now he judges my work, those that he likes.
00:18:01.070 --> 00:18:03.300
And that surprises me a lot, right?
00:18:03.300 --> 00:18:04.720
Well, on Thursday…
00:18:04.720 --> 00:18:08.320
Yeah, I am very excited.
00:18:08.320 --> 00:18:10.120
The expectation is high.
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I feel very supported by those who modelled for me, by all of you.
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Like I’ve told you before, I am flattered by you.
00:18:19.850 --> 00:18:22.870
And it is an honour to be a part of this.
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The fact that you chose me and gave me a voice.
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No one has posed for me in that way before.
00:18:33.450 --> 00:18:38.720
It was very brave, very brave that your body was exposed,
00:18:38.720 --> 00:18:41.570
because you had no clothes on.
00:18:41.570 --> 00:18:48.170
And it was very eloquent the way that you’ve decided to work your picture.
00:18:48.170 --> 00:18:56.420
Because you had our country’s flag in your hands which were tied up right?
00:18:56.420 --> 00:19:01.520
And although you can’t see it on the invitation, your eyes were blindfolded.
00:19:01.520 --> 00:19:04.970
Because this society is being abused.
00:19:04.970 --> 00:19:11.870
And I ask myself how many people aren\'t going through something similar?
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We all go through some form of abuse.
00:19:15.320 --> 00:19:17.750
I also experienced an abuse.
00:19:17.750 --> 00:19:19.950
But I was a child.
00:19:19.950 --> 00:19:25.300
And I also had the courage to talk about it,
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after a long time, after decades.
00:19:30.200 --> 00:19:36.850
Because when I reported it right before my father’s eyes and ears,
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what he did was hit me.
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He hit me because it was his brother.
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So he said that I was lying and
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I felt guilty for a long time, almost my entire life, because of what happened.
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And I have taken that with me.
00:19:55.700 --> 00:20:05.420
And it has been very liberating and healing
00:20:05.420 --> 00:20:11.450
to be able to express it through art.
00:20:25.050 --> 00:20:28.550
What is amazing about this event is that
00:20:28.550 --> 00:20:33.920
the people who posed for the collection are also here.
00:20:33.920 --> 00:20:39.070
So they can tell you the stories behind each piece.
00:20:39.070 --> 00:20:45.250
I have my own version and it\'s definitely one full of meanings.
00:20:45.250 --> 00:20:49.120
But there’s nothing like talking about the other side of the coin,
00:20:49.120 --> 00:20:52.500
with the person who is exposing himself on the canvas.
00:20:52.500 --> 00:20:56.050
So thank you very much to each one of you for coming
00:20:56.050 --> 00:21:00.170
and I hope that you enjoy this exhibition deeply.
00:21:30.860 --> 00:21:33.420
Michael, este es el modelo.
00:21:33.420 --> 00:21:34.960
Eres un hombre hermoso.
00:21:34.960 --> 00:21:36.040
Gracias.
00:21:36.900 --> 00:21:40.560
Eres un hombre hermoso. Es una pintura hermosa.
00:21:40.560 --> 00:21:42.470
Un poco aterrador en realidad.
00:21:42.470 --> 00:21:45.100
A person saw this and told me,
00:21:45.100 --> 00:21:50.150
“Did you know that this is the symbol of fulfilled sexuality?”
00:21:50.150 --> 00:21:56.850
So this is great because you keep finding more and more interpretations.
00:21:56.850 --> 00:21:58.870
Something that really scarred him,
00:21:58.870 --> 00:22:01.120
I imagine, and it has something to do with
00:22:01.120 --> 00:22:04.320
both his hands being tied and his eyes covered.
00:22:04.320 --> 00:22:07.450
I feel that he was trapped
00:22:07.450 --> 00:22:12.170
and he hasn’t been able to free himself 100 percent from it.
00:22:28.070 --> 00:22:29.250
It’s cool right?
00:22:29.250 --> 00:22:33.750
Very nice, very natural.
00:22:35.550 --> 00:22:40.700
I don’t know a lot about art and can\'t explain it but I like it.
00:22:40.700 --> 00:22:45.770
It\'s a creation of the artist.
00:23:29.500 --> 00:23:32.000
We’re really lazy today.
00:23:32.000 --> 00:23:33.800
Why?
00:23:33.800 --> 00:23:36.670
We barely speak.
00:23:40.050 --> 00:23:43.800
Other times we can’t stop.
00:23:46.050 --> 00:23:50.070
That’s what I was saying about resting too much.
00:24:19.420 --> 00:24:23.200
You’ve never told me.
00:24:23.200 --> 00:24:25.920
You’ve never told me how you feel around me.
00:24:25.920 --> 00:24:27.870
What you like about being with me.
00:24:27.870 --> 00:24:32.020
That’s why I’ll say it again.
00:24:33.020 --> 00:24:38.270
The most important thing, besides trust,
00:24:38.270 --> 00:24:44.300
is that we can always say anything to each other.
00:24:44.300 --> 00:24:47.020
That’s why I always ask you to tell me everything.
00:24:47.020 --> 00:24:51.370
And to never keep anything inside.
00:24:55.320 --> 00:25:00.120
You know that when I get angry at my mum or my siblings,
00:25:00.120 --> 00:25:01.650
I would rather keep quiet.
00:25:01.650 --> 00:25:05.620
I’m left with my anger and I think about stuff till it passes.
00:25:05.620 --> 00:25:08.770
But at that moment, I don’t want to talk, to hug anyone or to say anything
00:25:08.770 --> 00:25:10.770
because I’m too mad.
00:25:10.770 --> 00:25:17.820
And maybe it’s my way of getting through it.
00:25:17.820 --> 00:25:21.550
They are your family and there are some things that you don’t want to
00:25:21.550 --> 00:25:26.120
or that you don’t feel ready to tell them about.
00:25:26.120 --> 00:25:31.220
I feel that after 10 years, I\'m ready because I\'m tired.
00:25:31.220 --> 00:25:36.470
I am tired of hiding things, of living a lie.
00:25:51.420 --> 00:25:54.520
Give me, give me.
00:26:12.850 --> 00:26:15.550
Look, this is how it’s going to be.
00:26:15.550 --> 00:26:16.950
Who?
00:26:18.600 --> 00:26:23.100
On Saturday, we were at our cafe.
00:26:23.100 --> 00:26:24.970
We were closing up early.
00:26:24.970 --> 00:26:28.050
A guy arrived and said, “Good afternoon.”
00:26:28.050 --> 00:26:30.570
He came towards me from the door with his hoodie up like this
00:26:30.570 --> 00:26:32.350
and he took the gun out.
00:26:32.350 --> 00:26:35.320
And he came in and said, “You know what to do.
00:26:35.320 --> 00:26:37.520
Give me your mobile phones and money.
00:26:37.520 --> 00:26:40.600
I saw you earlier so I know what you have. Give me everything.\"
00:26:40.600 --> 00:26:42.850
So I stood up and gave mine to him right away,
00:26:42.850 --> 00:26:47.850
and went behind the counter because she was there alone and...
00:26:47.850 --> 00:26:49.320
The phone that you just bought?
00:26:49.320 --> 00:26:51.500
Yes, the day before.
00:26:51.500 --> 00:26:55.400
He saw that mum had a bracelet and said, \"Give me your bracelet.\"
00:26:55.400 --> 00:26:57.970
He took the bracelet and the money,
00:26:57.970 --> 00:27:02.220
went outside, shut the door and left us there.
00:27:02.220 --> 00:27:06.620
So I was going to chase after him but mum told me not to.
00:27:06.620 --> 00:27:07.750
No, it would be more risky.
00:27:07.750 --> 00:27:09.700
It’s just that… What if he shoots him?
00:27:09.700 --> 00:27:13.750
He had a gun like this and it was very thick… grey.
00:27:13.750 --> 00:27:19.620
I’ve also gone through bad stuff and people are evil, really.
00:27:19.620 --> 00:27:22.500
You can’t trust anyone easily.
00:27:35.820 --> 00:27:38.400
He said that he got up in the morning
00:27:38.400 --> 00:27:41.950
and went to the door to open it.
00:27:41.950 --> 00:27:44.220
So he looked out the window…
00:27:44.220 --> 00:27:45.350
David?
00:27:45.350 --> 00:27:47.970
Yeah, he saw that the car looked sunken.
00:27:47.970 --> 00:27:51.520
When he looked down, he realised that there were no tyres.
00:27:51.520 --> 00:27:53.700
There was a jack on one side and on the other,
00:27:53.700 --> 00:27:55.870
there was only a rock and there was even a...
00:27:55.870 --> 00:27:57.150
They left the jack there?
00:27:57.150 --> 00:27:59.900
Yeah, I mean, the one from the car.
00:27:59.900 --> 00:28:01.720
Oh what sons of bitches.
00:28:01.720 --> 00:28:02.970
Yeah, sons of bitches.
00:28:02.970 --> 00:28:04.850
They left it there on the ground.
00:28:04.850 --> 00:28:06.520
And how is David?
00:28:06.520 --> 00:28:10.700
In the afternoon he seemed weird, a bit sad…
00:28:10.700 --> 00:28:12.170
Worried, angry.
00:28:12.170 --> 00:28:14.520
Well yeah, he said that he doesn’t have any money
00:28:14.520 --> 00:28:17.570
and the car is not completely paid for.
00:28:17.570 --> 00:28:23.170
David for me is a father, my paternal figure.
00:28:23.170 --> 00:28:25.950
Because since we were little,
00:28:25.950 --> 00:28:29.220
he has always looked after us, always supported us.
00:28:29.220 --> 00:28:33.600
He has been more of a father than my biological one.
00:28:33.600 --> 00:28:35.700
Everything\'s very tense in my family.
00:28:35.700 --> 00:28:37.000
My mum is angry.
00:28:37.000 --> 00:28:38.850
I am mad and I fight with my mum.
00:28:38.850 --> 00:28:42.600
My brothers are worried.
00:28:42.600 --> 00:28:46.150
I think that so many complications happen for a reason.
00:28:46.150 --> 00:28:50.200
That maybe I don’t have to tell them or maybe I\'ve to wait longer.
00:28:50.200 --> 00:28:55.550
Or I need a better plan to do it.
00:29:07.720 --> 00:29:09.650
Oh no.
00:29:09.650 --> 00:29:12.100
He is doing a pinky promise.
00:29:13.750 --> 00:29:16.820
Wait, let’s take a photo of the pinky promise.
00:29:18.770 --> 00:29:20.320
Take it from there.
00:29:22.550 --> 00:29:26.720
I am skinny but… I run.
00:29:27.220 --> 00:29:30.170
Don’t move your legs.
00:29:38.670 --> 00:29:39.300
Come here duck.
00:29:39.300 --> 00:29:41.100
He is giving us a nasty look.
00:29:41.100 --> 00:29:42.300
Come here duck.
00:29:42.300 --> 00:29:46.450
Look, it is on that rock now.
00:29:46.450 --> 00:29:48.450
Right.
00:30:13.170 --> 00:30:14.700
I love you baby.
00:30:14.700 --> 00:30:17.670
Huh, what’s happening? Are they fighting?
00:30:21.070 --> 00:30:25.020
I told you to go home.
00:30:26.700 --> 00:30:29.850
Oh, well…
00:30:31.950 --> 00:30:36.220
Well I’ve wanted to tell you something for a long time now.
00:30:39.020 --> 00:30:43.750
I\'ve never liked my birthday because it falls on the October 27th
00:30:43.750 --> 00:30:44.970
around Halloween.
00:30:44.970 --> 00:30:48.750
So I have never liked people coming to my birthday
00:30:48.750 --> 00:30:52.050
dressed up as dead people right?
00:30:52.050 --> 00:30:55.320
I\'d parties at home where nobody came or they showed up in costumes.
00:30:55.320 --> 00:30:57.650
So I stopped doing parties.
00:30:57.650 --> 00:31:04.850
10 years ago, on my birthday, when I turned 17,
00:31:04.850 --> 00:31:06.500
I went to Zona Rosa.
00:31:06.500 --> 00:31:09.250
I went and told my friends that I was going to be in Zona Rosa.
00:31:09.250 --> 00:31:12.720
No one came obviously and I was there for a while.
00:31:12.720 --> 00:31:15.800
And afterwards, l took a taxi to return home
00:31:15.800 --> 00:31:18.470
around two in the morning, one in the morning.
00:31:18.470 --> 00:31:22.000
The taxi picked me up and we took off.
00:31:22.000 --> 00:31:28.050
He stopped at the first traffic light because somebody stopped the car.
00:31:28.050 --> 00:31:32.350
He said, “It’s my friend and I’m going to pick him up over there.”
00:31:32.350 --> 00:31:34.250
I said, “No but you’ve already stopped for me.
00:31:34.250 --> 00:31:36.820
If you were thinking of taking him, you shouldn\'t have taken me.
00:31:36.820 --> 00:31:41.100
No problem, let me get off here and I’ll take another taxi.\"
00:31:41.100 --> 00:31:46.050
So when I was trying to get out, the man was above me.
00:31:46.050 --> 00:31:48.850
He stood outside the door and wouldn’t let me out.
00:31:48.850 --> 00:31:51.070
And the driver did this.
00:31:51.070 --> 00:31:53.900
So he hit me in the face.
00:31:53.900 --> 00:31:57.470
I fell backwards because I was almost knocked out.
00:31:57.470 --> 00:31:59.350
I wasn’t expecting the blow.
00:31:59.350 --> 00:32:02.350
So the other man got into the taxi.
00:32:02.350 --> 00:32:03.770
He got in and the car took off.
00:32:03.770 --> 00:32:06.370
And they stopped further up for another person to get in.
00:32:06.370 --> 00:32:09.020
And they put a bag over my head.
00:32:11.100 --> 00:32:13.520
And I thought that they were going to assault me or something.
00:32:13.520 --> 00:32:15.750
So I said, “Well the thing is, I don’t have any money.
00:32:15.750 --> 00:32:21.400
I have my mobile phone and 300 pesos, that’s all I have.”
00:32:21.400 --> 00:32:24.670
He said, “No, we don’t want your money.”
00:32:26.970 --> 00:32:30.100
So they kept driving, and driving while they were hitting me.
00:32:30.100 --> 00:32:34.650
I was desperate and I didn’t know what to do.
00:32:34.650 --> 00:32:37.750
I don’t like my birthday also because it always rains.
00:32:37.750 --> 00:32:41.820
So what little that I managed to see through the bag
00:32:41.820 --> 00:32:45.720
was the glass and the little drops of rain.
00:32:45.720 --> 00:32:48.370
I saw the little drops and car lights.
00:32:48.370 --> 00:32:50.850
But I didn’t recognise where I was.
00:32:50.850 --> 00:32:53.100
So they kept driving and driving.
00:32:53.100 --> 00:32:55.870
After hitting me and saying a bunch of stuff for some time,
00:32:55.870 --> 00:33:00.100
they stopped the car along a street and took me to another car.
00:33:00.100 --> 00:33:04.350
They laid me down on the back seat.
00:33:04.350 --> 00:33:07.200
\"We know that you like men and now you’re going to get fucked.\"
00:33:07.200 --> 00:33:09.800
They took off my pants.
00:33:09.800 --> 00:33:12.950
They then tied up my hands and my feet
00:33:12.950 --> 00:33:15.400
and they raped me.
00:33:32.020 --> 00:33:35.170
They didn’t leave me and again and again,
00:33:35.170 --> 00:33:38.370
one after the other, after the other, after the other.
00:33:45.720 --> 00:33:49.620
In the end, I didn’t even feel anything.
00:33:49.620 --> 00:33:54.370
I was desperate and hurting.
00:33:54.370 --> 00:33:56.900
I remember just closing my eyes and saying to myself,
00:33:56.900 --> 00:34:01.100
“I want to die, I want to die, I don’t want to be here.”
00:34:05.700 --> 00:34:10.570
Until I think they got tired, I don’t know, and left me there.
00:34:10.570 --> 00:34:15.970
I got home and my mum was very angry because I wasn\'t home earlier.
00:34:15.970 --> 00:34:18.770
I didn’t tell her where I was and she had been calling me.
00:34:18.770 --> 00:34:20.750
So I did this, like in the movies.
00:34:20.750 --> 00:34:23.900
I locked myself in the bathroom and I got into the shower…
00:34:23.900 --> 00:34:26.550
Scrubbing myself and scrubbing myself.
00:34:26.550 --> 00:34:30.000
Because I could smell them, I felt, I don’t know…
00:34:30.000 --> 00:34:34.870
I think this is why I’m so particular with smells.
00:34:34.870 --> 00:34:37.220
And I’ve never said anything to anyone.
00:34:37.220 --> 00:34:42.050
I felt like I wasn’t worth anything, that I didn’t deserve anything.
00:34:42.050 --> 00:34:44.900
I felt responsible for many years.
00:34:44.900 --> 00:34:47.400
Because, maybe I had gone looking for it.
00:34:47.400 --> 00:34:53.100
It’s always been about hiding, lying, always like this.
00:34:53.100 --> 00:34:55.300
And with you I don’t want that to happen.
00:34:55.300 --> 00:34:58.500
Because I feel differently with you.
00:35:00.920 --> 00:35:03.270
Oh my love, it’s okay.
00:35:03.270 --> 00:35:07.200
After many years, I feel good.
00:35:13.500 --> 00:35:17.250
I feel happy with someone.
00:35:20.970 --> 00:35:25.720
I haven’t had sex with you because of this.
00:35:28.770 --> 00:35:32.400
I want you to know most of all that I’m here for you, Erick.
00:35:32.400 --> 00:35:36.320
I can’t even imagine it as it has never happened to me.
00:35:40.150 --> 00:35:45.970
To me, you are still the same person that I first met.
00:35:45.970 --> 00:35:53.170
And someone more valuable now because you had the courage to tell me.
00:35:53.170 --> 00:35:55.650
I’ve never asked or pushed you for sex.
00:35:55.650 --> 00:35:59.120
And I’m not thinking of doing that, Erick.
00:35:59.120 --> 00:36:02.700
This will be your decision and you will know when.
00:36:02.700 --> 00:36:07.100
The only thing I ask of you is that
00:36:07.100 --> 00:36:11.500
we never hide anything from each other, even if it hurts.
00:36:52.150 --> 00:36:56.920
There was darkness in my eyes
00:36:56.920 --> 00:37:01.050
and there was darkness in my mind.
00:37:01.050 --> 00:37:06.570
The only image I saw was of my mum crying.
00:37:08.650 --> 00:37:12.550
I was lost in my thoughts, lost in pain.
00:37:12.550 --> 00:37:18.720
I got disconnected and lost track of time, of the place,
00:37:18.720 --> 00:37:22.720
of the space, of myself.
00:37:45.150 --> 00:37:52.670
My mother is a very selfless person who is very dedicated to us.
00:37:52.670 --> 00:37:57.600
But I feel that she has devoted so much to us
00:37:57.600 --> 00:38:02.050
that she lost time for herself.
00:38:18.600 --> 00:38:23.270
Because she needed to be strong, she left her feelings behind.
00:38:23.270 --> 00:38:27.570
She has left herself behind.
00:38:29.070 --> 00:38:36.320
I would like to see her happy, see her with somebody, see her content.
00:38:55.720 --> 00:38:57.550
What?
00:39:03.670 --> 00:39:07.920
I remember that I liked a photo and his name was tagged.
00:39:07.920 --> 00:39:11.050
And I decided to check out who he was.
00:39:11.050 --> 00:39:13.950
I sent him a friend request and he replied.
00:39:13.950 --> 00:39:17.420
He speaks English so we barely understand each other.
00:39:17.420 --> 00:39:23.200
Somehow after a while, I understood that he was divorced.
00:39:23.200 --> 00:39:27.470
And he was born in 1980 I think.
00:39:27.470 --> 00:39:34.120
He works in the army, in the army of Pakistan.
00:39:34.120 --> 00:39:38.000
We have spent four years like this and it has stayed the same.
00:39:38.000 --> 00:39:42.350
We write each other every day.
00:39:43.670 --> 00:39:47.800
He says that he likes me and I tell him that I like him.
00:39:47.800 --> 00:39:50.870
But he is on the other side of the world and I am here.
00:39:50.870 --> 00:39:56.220
But he writes me and that’s enough for me.
00:39:57.770 --> 00:40:00.120
I’m happy now?
00:40:00.700 --> 00:40:08.020
I am very happy now that we can meet in person very soon.
00:40:11.970 --> 00:40:13.650
Karachi with a K.
00:40:13.650 --> 00:40:18.650
What is your relationship? Friend.
00:40:18.650 --> 00:40:20.400
Purpose of travel?
00:40:20.400 --> 00:40:27.800
Well… He’s just visiting Mexico.
00:40:27.800 --> 00:40:30.700
Where’s he staying?
00:40:30.700 --> 00:40:37.120
I don’t know, maybe here or at a hotel. I don’t really know.
00:40:37.120 --> 00:40:40.300
This guy has been telling her for years that he will come.
00:40:40.300 --> 00:40:45.420
Maybe it is an old lady behind a computer or a phone.
00:40:45.420 --> 00:40:48.250
And she is simply sending images of a young guy
00:40:48.250 --> 00:40:50.500
in order to keep chatting, I don’t know.
00:40:50.500 --> 00:40:53.320
I don’t know if he is real or not.
00:40:53.320 --> 00:40:56.800
But I don’t like it.
00:41:18.270 --> 00:41:19.770
It is very tight.
00:41:19.770 --> 00:41:22.720
Well not really, look.
00:41:22.720 --> 00:41:24.350
Pull your pants up.
00:41:24.350 --> 00:41:27.420
I have it all the way here. It’s like this.
00:41:27.420 --> 00:41:30.950
No, like this. Until we can see your balls.
00:41:34.350 --> 00:41:38.100
So I went to Ricardo to leave my bag and stuff.
00:41:38.100 --> 00:41:42.350
And then I told him, “I’m going to get the suit.\"
00:41:42.350 --> 00:41:43.650
So that he could give me the money.
00:41:43.650 --> 00:41:46.770
So he started telling me that it’s only when we need money.
00:41:46.770 --> 00:41:50.570
You know, same old same old, that only when we needed money.
00:41:50.570 --> 00:41:54.050
That there he was, stupidly giving us money.
00:41:54.050 --> 00:41:57.420
So I told him, “Pa, I am only asking you to lend it to me
00:41:57.420 --> 00:41:59.870
because mum isn’t around.”
00:41:59.870 --> 00:42:06.850
Then he replied and started to shout.
00:42:06.850 --> 00:42:10.720
He said, “You guys are always talking about me?”
00:42:10.720 --> 00:42:13.350
Because it’s hard for him to let go of money
00:42:13.350 --> 00:42:15.050
as if money is everything.
00:42:15.050 --> 00:42:17.320
It’s his responsibility but he doesn\'t see it this way.
00:42:17.320 --> 00:42:19.500
Did you not tell him that mum pays for your school?
00:42:19.500 --> 00:42:22.100
Well I was going to tell him but I didn’t get the chance.
00:42:22.100 --> 00:42:25.270
But don’t you think that he knows that?
00:42:25.270 --> 00:42:30.550
When I got divorced about 12 years ago,
00:42:30.550 --> 00:42:35.400
they were really young so it was really hard to take care of them.
00:42:35.400 --> 00:42:40.500
Homework, laundry, food, work.
00:42:40.500 --> 00:42:43.670
He didn’t support them.
00:43:05.500 --> 00:43:08.550
My father obviously won\'t lend me money.
00:43:08.550 --> 00:43:11.300
But let me see if I can get the money from somebody else.
00:43:11.300 --> 00:43:17.900
I\'m also worried that the doctor may leave town without me knowing.
00:43:17.900 --> 00:43:19.270
He is away sometimes.
00:43:19.270 --> 00:43:23.350
The thing is to make an appointment so that he can tell us when there is...
00:43:23.350 --> 00:43:25.720
A date.
00:43:25.720 --> 00:43:31.770
A piglet, because it has to be five days old.
00:43:31.770 --> 00:43:35.000
It is very small and he’ll show it to you.
00:43:35.000 --> 00:43:38.820
You only hear the squeal and that\'s it.
00:43:38.820 --> 00:43:43.450
They bring the gland out of a little box, still all bloody…
00:43:43.450 --> 00:43:46.350
They show it to you and he quickly implants it.
00:43:46.350 --> 00:43:52.800
He has put it in right away within five minutes of removing it from the piglet.
00:43:52.800 --> 00:43:55.000
So that it is still alive.
00:43:55.000 --> 00:44:01.370
From my experience, it has been very helpful for my thyroid.
00:44:01.370 --> 00:44:02.600
What did she say?
00:44:02.600 --> 00:44:04.970
It went up by 500 pesos so it’s 6,500.
00:44:04.970 --> 00:44:09.450
And when I want it, I can call her so that she can make the appointment…
00:44:09.450 --> 00:44:11.220
because they have to look for...
00:44:11.220 --> 00:44:13.470
The piglet.
00:44:13.470 --> 00:44:15.700
I say it’s time to go.
00:44:15.700 --> 00:44:19.500
Well yeah but we have to gather the money…
00:44:19.500 --> 00:44:23.370
and I have to pay for the credit card so I won\'t have the money.
00:44:23.370 --> 00:44:26.100
But this is urgent too.
00:44:36.300 --> 00:44:42.820
They raped me many times, one after the other.
00:44:42.820 --> 00:44:46.120
I really don’t remember if I ejaculated.
00:44:46.120 --> 00:44:50.100
I really don’t know if I did.
00:44:50.100 --> 00:44:52.570
If I did it for them.
00:44:52.570 --> 00:44:59.320
And if I did, I did it so that they could leave me alone.
00:45:04.800 --> 00:45:08.420
There are times that I don’t know...
00:45:08.420 --> 00:45:13.570
I am with somebody sexually and things come into my mind
00:45:13.570 --> 00:45:17.350
and I don’t feel good.
00:45:21.570 --> 00:45:24.470
I pretend. I pretend to enjoy and everything
00:45:24.470 --> 00:45:27.850
but other things are on my mind.
00:45:27.850 --> 00:45:34.150
In my head, there are some sensations, memories…
00:45:35.170 --> 00:45:40.420
I just can’t get any satisfaction.
00:45:40.420 --> 00:45:48.620
Sometimes after I finish, when the act is over,
00:45:50.950 --> 00:45:54.320
it’s like I feel guilty.
00:46:08.650 --> 00:46:11.400
Maribel told me she couldn’t see me today
00:46:11.400 --> 00:46:12.700
Oh no?
00:46:12.720 --> 00:46:17.250
Well yes, she is afraid because of what happened.
00:46:17.250 --> 00:46:18.020
Yes.
00:46:18.020 --> 00:46:20.150
I think she moved in with her mother-in-law.
00:46:20.150 --> 00:46:21.450
Oh my…
00:46:21.450 --> 00:46:24.350
The husband was kidnapped right?
00:46:24.350 --> 00:46:29.420
Yeah, he has to get over it. Can you imagine?
00:46:29.420 --> 00:46:31.750
It must be traumatising.
00:46:31.750 --> 00:46:41.770
If a hold-up is horrible, imagine that type of situation.
00:46:49.420 --> 00:46:53.500
Pa, how are you?
00:46:53.500 --> 00:46:57.920
Where is grandfather, pa?
00:46:57.920 --> 00:47:02.270
Did it get complicated?
00:47:02.270 --> 00:47:05.300
Is he very ill?
00:47:10.170 --> 00:47:13.370
Ok bye pa.
00:47:14.920 --> 00:47:16.820
He was crying.
00:47:16.820 --> 00:47:18.550
He’s not doing so well.
00:47:18.550 --> 00:47:24.070
I think his liver is having complications.
00:47:24.070 --> 00:47:26.870
It didn’t feel good.
00:47:26.870 --> 00:47:30.200
But I was glad to see him suffering.
00:47:30.200 --> 00:47:32.620
So when he told me about his father being sick
00:47:32.620 --> 00:47:36.070
and that his mum isn’t okay either,
00:47:36.070 --> 00:47:40.970
it was like, “That is going to happen to you.”
00:47:57.750 --> 00:47:59.770
What do you think about my grandfather?
00:47:59.770 --> 00:48:02.120
He\'s very skinny, very skinny.
00:48:02.120 --> 00:48:08.000
He was lying there and this part looked sunken.
00:48:08.000 --> 00:48:11.850
And this other part was protruding out.
00:48:11.850 --> 00:48:13.100
If you want to cry, cry.
00:48:13.100 --> 00:48:16.920
It\'s not good for you if you hadn’t cried enough earlier.
00:48:16.920 --> 00:48:23.800
Really, keeping things inside affects your health.
00:48:23.800 --> 00:48:25.720
It’s not good to keep it inside, sweety.
00:48:25.720 --> 00:48:33.470
Now that you’re saying this, I think I need to tell you something.
00:48:33.470 --> 00:48:38.650
Well, like what we talked about the last time...
00:48:38.650 --> 00:48:42.700
Well, after the rape, I became infected.
00:48:42.700 --> 00:48:46.750
Infected with HIV.
00:48:46.750 --> 00:48:49.350
And you have seen me taking pills.
00:48:49.350 --> 00:48:52.970
The ones that I said were for headaches or stomachaches
00:48:52.970 --> 00:48:58.570
are for my HIV treatment, which I\'ve been taking for four years.
00:49:00.400 --> 00:49:03.100
I’m on medication and I’m okay.
00:49:03.100 --> 00:49:09.270
Every six months, I go for checkups and everything is fine.
00:49:09.270 --> 00:49:11.070
And everything is okay but I don’t know…
00:49:11.070 --> 00:49:14.850
I was scared to tell you because I didn’t know how...
00:49:14.850 --> 00:49:17.020
To begin with, I didn’t know how to say it.
00:49:17.020 --> 00:49:20.870
How you would react and if you would support me.
00:49:21.800 --> 00:49:24.900
I found out a long time ago, Erick.
00:49:24.900 --> 00:49:33.850
When you told me about going to the doctor and about breathing problems.
00:49:33.850 --> 00:49:37.870
You know that? I knew it long ago.
00:49:37.870 --> 00:49:41.200
That day, when you went to the doctor,
00:49:41.200 --> 00:49:44.650
I checked your bag, Erick.
00:49:44.650 --> 00:49:49.720
I’m sorry but I was worried thinking about what you could have had.
00:49:49.720 --> 00:49:53.370
When I saw you taking your pills and how you were hiding them,
00:49:53.370 --> 00:49:59.370
I was worried that you had something serious.
00:50:00.170 --> 00:50:07.320
To be honest, I saw your papers, your notes and your medical reports.
00:50:07.320 --> 00:50:10.370
Everything that was there.
00:50:12.970 --> 00:50:17.300
We need to start talking about this sweety.
00:50:17.300 --> 00:50:20.120
If we’re going to be together forever,
00:50:20.120 --> 00:50:26.270
this is something that we both have to do.
00:50:26.270 --> 00:50:31.420
Yes, I told you that I go to the doctor and I’m okay.
00:50:31.420 --> 00:50:38.820
The viral load in my blood is undetectable.
00:50:38.820 --> 00:50:44.200
Yes sweety but if I get infected,
00:50:44.200 --> 00:50:46.500
and I don’t get a checkup,
00:50:46.500 --> 00:50:50.720
and I\'m not with you doing checkups and taking care of ourselves…
00:50:50.720 --> 00:50:55.420
If I get infected, I can reinfect you.
00:50:55.420 --> 00:50:59.850
That would be really bad for you, Erick.
00:50:59.850 --> 00:51:06.050
Am I clear? We have to do this together sweety.
00:51:07.700 --> 00:51:09.200
Yes, you’re right.
00:51:09.200 --> 00:51:10.600
Does your family know?
00:51:10.600 --> 00:51:13.020
No they don’t.
00:51:13.020 --> 00:51:18.550
Well my mum knows some stuff, but not all of it.
00:51:18.550 --> 00:51:20.920
But not my brothers.
00:51:20.920 --> 00:51:25.920
I found out the first month we met.
00:51:28.020 --> 00:51:33.270
And it didn’t change a thing.
00:51:33.270 --> 00:51:37.300
But I was worried that you wouldn’t tell me.
00:51:37.300 --> 00:51:41.400
Because as time passes by,
00:51:41.400 --> 00:51:47.620
it would break my heart if I had to tell you
00:51:47.620 --> 00:51:53.120
that I couldn’t be with you because you didn\'t trust me.
00:52:15.000 --> 00:52:20.020
He couldn’t talk to me and that made me really mad,
00:52:20.020 --> 00:52:27.320
that he knew about it, put on a show and didn’t say a thing.
00:52:29.800 --> 00:52:36.150
I stopped trusting him and all of that trust became rage, resentment.
00:52:36.150 --> 00:52:37.650
I think I’m responsible
00:52:37.650 --> 00:52:40.420
because I was hiding things before…
00:52:40.420 --> 00:52:44.300
Well starting a relationship and not revealing things since the beginning.
00:52:44.300 --> 00:52:46.300
At the end, I found out
00:52:46.300 --> 00:52:48.820
that he started checking my phone.
00:52:48.820 --> 00:52:50.250
So I was very angry.
00:52:50.250 --> 00:52:56.870
We fought and those things started hurting the relationship.
00:53:03.870 --> 00:53:09.870
Erick pronto comienza una nueva relación sentimental con alguien que conoció en línea
00:53:10.570 --> 00:53:14.250
Termina tres meses después
00:53:22.250 --> 00:53:27.650
He was preparing dinner and the Skype on his computer was ringing.
00:53:27.650 --> 00:53:32.150
So I opened it and it was this dude from Germany.
00:53:32.150 --> 00:53:36.370
So I read the past conversation and it was like,
00:53:36.370 --> 00:53:40.950
“I like you a lot. You are very sexy. I like your tattoos.”
00:53:40.950 --> 00:53:44.570
And there were nude pictures.
00:53:44.570 --> 00:53:48.770
“You are super hot. What a nice cock.”
00:53:50.120 --> 00:53:52.750
I mean if that happened at the beginning…
00:53:52.750 --> 00:53:57.150
You were reading the messages from this German guy or whatever…
00:53:57.150 --> 00:54:02.000
Why didn’t you just grab your things and leave?
00:54:02.000 --> 00:54:05.400
Why did you spend the night there?
00:54:05.400 --> 00:54:06.650
Well I was like, maybe…
00:54:06.650 --> 00:54:09.300
Maybe he will change, maybe he will change.
00:54:09.300 --> 00:54:12.970
That\'s a joke, a lie.
00:54:12.970 --> 00:54:15.400
I asked him at night if we were getting back together...
00:54:15.400 --> 00:54:18.650
You said that after reading all that?
00:54:18.650 --> 00:54:21.000
Why aren’t you confident about yourself?
00:54:21.000 --> 00:54:27.900
What’s the point of telling me he is going to change, time and time again?
00:54:27.900 --> 00:54:33.600
Yes, it was my mistake accepting it but when you love somebody...
00:54:33.600 --> 00:54:39.070
Why hold on to the idea of finding a brilliant partner
00:54:39.070 --> 00:54:42.950
and having a movie love story?
00:54:42.950 --> 00:54:45.120
I mean, no.
00:54:45.120 --> 00:54:47.600
If you are alone, you have to live your moment alone.
00:54:47.600 --> 00:54:54.050
Feel, enjoy, travel alone, read for yourself, eat for yourself.
00:54:54.050 --> 00:54:57.620
I mean, get to know new places by yourself.
00:54:57.620 --> 00:55:03.800
But I feel that you\'re scared of being alone, being by yourself.
00:55:03.800 --> 00:55:08.900
Because you don’t know how to be with yourself, to be alone.
00:55:21.700 --> 00:55:22.770
Look.
00:55:22.770 --> 00:55:23.220
What?
00:55:23.220 --> 00:55:26.500
A spider, a spider, a spider.
00:55:26.500 --> 00:55:28.320
A spider?
00:55:28.320 --> 00:55:32.770
A spider. Let me see.
00:55:34.320 --> 00:55:36.750
It\'s on your head.
00:55:36.750 --> 00:55:41.220
I have asked you to come because I need your attention.
00:55:41.220 --> 00:55:47.070
If we can put aside our phones and put them on silent mode.
00:55:47.070 --> 00:55:50.370
It all started very long ago,
00:55:50.370 --> 00:55:52.070
when it was about to be my birthday.
00:55:52.070 --> 00:55:55.350
It was Halloween and no one would show up at my party.
00:55:55.450 --> 00:55:59.370
So one day, I decided to go out for my party.
00:55:59.370 --> 00:56:05.000
I told my friends about going to a club in Zona Rosa
00:56:05.000 --> 00:56:08.950
and that whoever wanted to go, could go.
00:56:08.950 --> 00:56:14.700
No one showed up, just one person and then he left right away.
00:56:14.700 --> 00:56:17.850
Look we can’t even be serious.
00:56:51.100 --> 00:56:56.320
There were times when I thought that it would be better to kill myself.
00:56:56.320 --> 00:57:00.020
It’s awful and you feel worthless.
00:57:04.070 --> 00:57:06.400
I’ve been depressed for a very long time.
00:57:06.400 --> 00:57:10.850
And I believe that I experienced anorexia, bulimia.
00:57:10.850 --> 00:57:17.970
I have never wanted to go to the police, or to a psychologist
00:57:17.970 --> 00:57:25.300
because it’s something awful and shameful.
00:57:25.300 --> 00:57:26.900
And more so being a guy.
00:57:26.900 --> 00:57:29.520
I mean if girls are embarrassed,
00:57:29.520 --> 00:57:32.870
a guy is even more so because we’re supposed to be tough.
00:57:32.870 --> 00:57:38.120
We\'re supposed to be hard and be able to defend ourselves.
00:57:38.120 --> 00:57:41.250
They said that I would be in trouble
00:57:41.250 --> 00:57:46.270
because they had my papers, school ID and everything.
00:57:46.270 --> 00:57:50.220
They said that they knew where I lived and would locate my family.
00:57:50.220 --> 00:57:53.570
So I should never make a report.
00:57:53.570 --> 00:57:57.250
Going to the doctors, getting tested...
00:57:57.250 --> 00:58:00.300
And when the news hit you, it’s horrible.
00:58:00.300 --> 00:58:02.570
Because at first, you think that you’re going to die.
00:58:02.570 --> 00:58:04.850
What did the doctor say? What are the doctors saying?
00:58:04.850 --> 00:58:06.370
Nothing, I mean I’m fine.
00:58:06.370 --> 00:58:08.970
You can live a normal life with HIV.
00:58:08.970 --> 00:58:11.300
So if you don’t take your medicine,
00:58:11.300 --> 00:58:14.920
any illnesses, even diarrhea or flu can kill you.
00:58:14.920 --> 00:58:19.800
So I have to take pills every day to keep my immune system strong.
00:58:19.800 --> 00:58:25.570
I didn\'t want to say anything because I don’t want your pity or your worries.
00:58:25.570 --> 00:58:29.150
Mum knows something but she doesn\'t know how it happened.
00:58:29.150 --> 00:58:33.000
But she knew that I was infected when I was dating this guy.
00:58:33.000 --> 00:58:34.450
Now that mum knows, she’s like,
00:58:34.450 --> 00:58:38.020
“Take your pills. You need to eat. You need to sleep.”
00:58:38.020 --> 00:58:39.400
Just what I didn’t want happen.
00:58:39.400 --> 00:58:41.400
I know, I’m almost 30 already.
00:58:41.400 --> 00:58:43.800
I know how to take care of myself.
00:58:43.800 --> 00:58:46.020
And I told her that I didn’t want to tell her for this very reason.
00:58:46.020 --> 00:58:49.370
I’ve never said anything about the pills, don’t lie.
00:58:49.370 --> 00:58:50.700
It’s not like she wants to bother you.
00:58:50.700 --> 00:58:54.420
It’s because she loves you, needs you and wants to see you doing well.
00:58:54.420 --> 00:58:56.170
That’s what you’ve got to understand.
00:58:56.170 --> 00:58:58.400
Your head is full of bullshit now.
00:58:58.400 --> 00:59:01.220
Now that he is talking about his pills, for example…
00:59:01.220 --> 00:59:03.170
I’ve never mentioned his pills.
00:59:03.170 --> 00:59:09.400
It’s not true. He’s crazy and defensive.
00:59:09.400 --> 00:59:14.220
For example, right now, he hasn’t eaten anything
00:59:14.220 --> 00:59:16.720
and that’s not okay but he doesn’t take care of himself.
00:59:16.720 --> 00:59:21.850
You’re the one who feels that way and we can’t see it, Erick.
00:59:21.850 --> 00:59:25.920
It’s not like we view you as an ill person, come on…
00:59:25.920 --> 00:59:28.100
Believe me, it’s even less…
00:59:28.100 --> 00:59:32.820
Today, I understand a fucking lot about you, Erick.
00:59:38.750 --> 00:59:40.720
Accept yourself.
00:59:40.720 --> 00:59:44.250
Don’t wait for anyone to accept you.
00:59:44.250 --> 00:59:51.150
I used to think like that when my uncle did the same thing.
00:59:51.150 --> 00:59:56.700
I used to feel awful thinking I was the only one going through that.
00:59:56.700 --> 01:00:01.650
That’s why I understand that you can’t let go of something horrible like that.
01:00:01.650 --> 01:00:05.770
And the fact that my father didn’t believe me,
01:00:05.770 --> 01:00:08.770
I felt horrible as well.
01:00:08.770 --> 01:00:10.050
Thinking that no one would accept me.
01:00:10.050 --> 01:00:13.050
that’s why I have never told anyone.
01:00:13.050 --> 01:00:15.850
I thought that my friends would laugh.
01:00:15.850 --> 01:00:21.550
Or that people wouldn’t want to be around me if they knew.
01:00:21.550 --> 01:00:26.720
No one in my family knows apart from my mum and my grandparents.
01:00:26.720 --> 01:00:29.970
I feel awful sometimes because my dad’s brother
01:00:29.970 --> 01:00:37.320
is around his nieces and I feel bad because I think,
01:00:37.320 --> 01:00:41.650
“What if he has done something to them. What if I had said something?
01:00:41.650 --> 01:00:46.220
Maybe he has already done something to them and it\'s my fault.\"
01:00:46.220 --> 01:00:49.470
It’s horrible and I feel tormented sometimes.
01:00:49.470 --> 01:00:53.070
When I see them, I think, “When I was their age, he did that to me.”
01:00:53.070 --> 01:00:54.470
I see Jenny and I’m scared
01:00:54.470 --> 01:00:57.770
whenever she’s with her dad because I think,
01:00:57.770 --> 01:01:04.950
“If I’m not there and his uncle does something to her…”
01:01:04.950 --> 01:01:08.250
It scares me all the time.
01:01:08.250 --> 01:01:15.320
But I’ve learned that you can’t keep torturing yourself everyday.
01:01:15.320 --> 01:01:17.620
Or feel guilty, or feel like you are the only one.
01:01:17.620 --> 01:01:20.800
Well you shouldn’t feel judged
01:01:20.800 --> 01:01:23.450
because we’re going to love you no matter what.
01:01:23.450 --> 01:01:27.750
I don’t get scared because of that and I’ll always love you.
01:01:27.750 --> 01:01:30.650
For me this doesn’t mean…
01:01:30.650 --> 01:01:35.700
Exactly and it wasn’t our fault. It wasn\'t our fault.
01:01:35.700 --> 01:01:40.500
What happened to you wasn’t because you’re gay. It wasn\'t that.
01:01:40.500 --> 01:01:42.700
It happened because you’re a faggot.
01:01:42.700 --> 01:01:43.970
No.
01:01:43.970 --> 01:01:47.500
It wasn’t your choice.
01:01:47.500 --> 01:01:50.870
People come this way, genetically speaking.
01:01:50.870 --> 01:01:57.800
I’ve heard you’ve got an extra female gene and that’s not wrong.
01:01:57.800 --> 01:01:59.600
It’s nature.
01:01:59.600 --> 01:02:04.470
Accept yourself and if you\'re okay then nothing matters.
01:02:04.470 --> 01:02:09.350
I remember that you’ve always been like this since you were Ken\'s age.
01:02:09.350 --> 01:02:12.200
You were already different.
01:02:12.200 --> 01:02:13.370
Poor kid.
01:02:13.370 --> 01:02:15.250
You already had that delicacy.
01:02:15.250 --> 01:02:18.200
I remember that a lot because pa used to tell you,
01:02:18.200 --> 01:02:21.350
“Walk straight, speak well” and stuff like that.
01:02:21.350 --> 01:02:23.270
That I should play soccer.
01:02:23.270 --> 01:02:26.100
Yeah, things you didn’t like.
01:02:26.100 --> 01:02:31.670
And he was like, “Why? He’s more fancy than us.”
01:02:31.670 --> 01:02:32.600
What did he tell you?
01:02:32.600 --> 01:02:34.050
Fucking kid.
01:02:34.050 --> 01:02:36.170
You already had it, you were like that.
01:02:36.170 --> 01:02:39.770
I clearly remember when we still lived in Tecamac,
01:02:39.770 --> 01:02:42.600
that I came home from school and you were watching a movie,
01:02:42.600 --> 01:02:45.250
“The Spiderwick Chronicles.”
01:02:45.250 --> 01:02:47.650
And you asked me to watch it with you.
01:02:47.650 --> 01:02:54.120
It was the only time that we sat and watched a movie together.
01:02:54.120 --> 01:02:57.020
Whose fault is it if you’re going to limit your life
01:02:57.020 --> 01:02:59.550
and stop showing affection towards your family
01:02:59.550 --> 01:03:02.550
or look for love in other ways and not from your family?
01:03:02.550 --> 01:03:07.020
Like with a partner or whatever. You take refuge in that.
01:03:07.020 --> 01:03:11.570
You’ve been through a hundred guys.
01:03:11.570 --> 01:03:15.220
And tell me, which one is here? Which one is worried about you?
01:03:15.220 --> 01:03:18.000
Rodolfo is the only one, Erick.
01:03:18.000 --> 01:03:22.920
It’s not fair for the guy because he cares a lot about you, Erick.
01:03:22.920 --> 01:03:25.070
He’s always, always, always, there for you.
01:03:25.070 --> 01:03:28.670
You\'ve to value him.
01:03:28.670 --> 01:03:33.150
Don’t look for someone to love. Look for someone who loves you.
01:04:13.370 --> 01:04:16.170
I don’t know, it’s something…
01:04:16.170 --> 01:04:20.270
I mean what you said the other day, it’s something like…
01:04:20.270 --> 01:04:25.400
So I want to… I want to apologise for all of those times
01:04:25.400 --> 01:04:28.600
that I judged you without knowing what was going on, right?
01:04:28.600 --> 01:04:31.900
You are our brother and that’s what matters, right?
01:04:31.900 --> 01:04:36.120
We are always going to be here, in good times and bad times,
01:04:36.120 --> 01:04:38.320
supporting you right here.
01:04:38.320 --> 01:04:41.350
And that’s something I want you to know.
01:04:41.350 --> 01:04:46.750
If you need any of us, I don’t know, a piece of advice?
01:04:46.750 --> 01:04:50.950
As dumb as we may be, you should still ask.
01:04:50.950 --> 01:04:54.020
Even if you want, I don’t know, a moment with us
01:04:54.020 --> 01:04:59.000
or go watch a movie together, to be like a family,
01:04:59.000 --> 01:05:01.050
you can do that, no problem.
01:05:01.050 --> 01:05:06.150
And again, I want to apologise for all those times when I was rude to you.
01:05:06.150 --> 01:05:11.100
Yeah no…. You don’t have to apologise
01:05:11.100 --> 01:05:13.770
because you didn’t know what I was going through.
01:05:13.770 --> 01:05:18.400
Not Saul, not David, not mum. But I appreciate it.
01:05:19.970 --> 01:05:22.800
Don’t worry about it. And the same goes for you.
01:05:22.800 --> 01:05:26.370
When you need anything, to talk about something, you can count on me.
01:05:26.370 --> 01:05:29.870
I don’t express myself much with you all
01:05:29.870 --> 01:05:33.450
because that’s not me but here I am.
01:05:33.450 --> 01:05:36.700
You know I love you even though we fight and get mad at each other.
01:05:36.700 --> 01:05:38.050
I am here for you.
01:05:38.050 --> 01:05:41.200
It has been too long since I have given you a hug. Can I do it now?
01:05:41.200 --> 01:05:43.800
Yes, of course.
01:05:49.450 --> 01:05:52.100
I love you, fucker.
01:05:56.600 --> 01:05:58.920
It’s blood and blood hurts.
01:05:58.920 --> 01:06:04.400
You fucking love me, or “I love you fucker?”
01:06:04.400 --> 01:06:07.150
You don’t imagine something like that
01:06:07.150 --> 01:06:10.020
happening to somebody in your family.
01:06:10.020 --> 01:06:17.170
It\'s hard to understand how a man can be raped, right?
01:06:18.470 --> 01:06:21.150
Don\'t cry.
01:06:29.350 --> 01:06:30.270
It’s Jenny’s turn.
01:06:30.270 --> 01:06:32.770
It’s my turn.
01:06:34.250 --> 01:06:36.370
I did it, I did it, I did it.
01:06:36.370 --> 01:06:42.200
I feel powerless because I don’t know who’s guilty.
01:06:42.200 --> 01:06:44.720
It is something that is part of society
01:06:44.720 --> 01:06:48.970
but there is no fucking support, nothing.
01:06:48.970 --> 01:06:51.050
I can’t believe that the two families here
01:06:51.050 --> 01:06:54.850
have lived through the same situation.
01:06:56.600 --> 01:07:00.070
In the case of my wife, \"Why didn’t your father believe you?
01:07:00.070 --> 01:07:03.270
Why didn’t your father do anything?
01:07:03.270 --> 01:07:08.320
I mean, what did he think? That you were playing? That you made it up?\"
01:07:08.320 --> 01:07:11.020
No, we can’t leave it like this.
01:07:11.020 --> 01:07:16.300
I was very young. I think I was around 11.
01:07:16.300 --> 01:07:18.520
So I was very young but I did tell my mum.
01:07:18.520 --> 01:07:21.170
Now that I have my children and realise that
01:07:21.170 --> 01:07:25.150
not only women are at risk, but men as well.
01:07:25.150 --> 01:07:28.950
It is stressful because I think, no…
01:07:28.950 --> 01:07:32.570
How do I take care of them? How do I avoid anything?
01:07:32.570 --> 01:07:38.100
Maybe Erick was with strangers but with me, it was a family member.
01:07:38.100 --> 01:07:42.020
So who do you trust?
01:07:42.020 --> 01:07:45.250
Not anymore, you can’t.
01:07:45.250 --> 01:07:49.220
It’s something that\'s on my mind always.
01:07:52.100 --> 01:07:58.420
I failed and it was my fault because I let him go out, for example.
01:07:58.420 --> 01:08:05.350
And because he did not feel confident enough to tell me.
01:08:05.350 --> 01:08:09.600
Even though I was hurting, at the same time,
01:08:09.600 --> 01:08:18.020
I felt liberated because I know what he was going through.
01:08:18.020 --> 01:08:22.670
Because that was something that I was carrying as well.
01:08:22.670 --> 01:08:27.220
The worry, asking what’s wrong and why he is this way.
01:08:27.220 --> 01:08:32.150
How I have failed him. What we should do.
01:08:32.150 --> 01:08:37.420
I carry a lot of anger towards his father.
01:08:37.420 --> 01:08:41.850
I’m just saying that you always get what you deserve.
01:08:41.850 --> 01:08:45.000
You reap what you sow.
01:08:47.800 --> 01:08:51.900
It’s your family, you are up.
01:08:51.900 --> 01:08:53.450
About what?
01:08:55.670 --> 01:08:58.200
Have you told them already?
01:09:00.100 --> 01:09:04.750
I won’t take care of your little one ok?
01:09:04.750 --> 01:09:10.970
Hello. My sister-in-law is pregnant, yes.
01:09:12.270 --> 01:09:20.600
These are the mornings that King David sang about.
01:09:20.600 --> 01:09:27.800
Because it’s your saint’s day today, we’re here to sing to you.
01:09:38.250 --> 01:09:42.900
I want to wish you a wonderful day and a happy birthday.
01:09:44.070 --> 01:09:50.700
May God fill you with blessings and grant you health. I love you.
01:09:50.700 --> 01:09:55.450
I love you son and I\'m very proud of everything that you\'ve accomplished.
01:09:55.450 --> 01:09:58.920
And I wish you more success ahead. I love you son. Kisses.
01:09:59.620 --> 01:10:00.370
Fucker.
01:10:00.370 --> 01:10:02.650
Say it like this, fucker.
01:10:02.650 --> 01:10:04.920
Fucker.
01:10:11.150 --> 01:10:20.020
Marvellous things, marvellous things, marvellous things.
01:10:20.560 --> 01:10:25.000
Dos años después
01:10:41.250 --> 01:10:45.250
Screening of \"One Taxi Ride\". Register here.
01:11:14.830 --> 01:11:19.880
Well now I’m going to open up the floor
01:11:19.880 --> 01:11:24.900
for any questions, thoughts or comments.
01:11:24.900 --> 01:11:29.980
Hello, good night. My name is Darma.
01:11:31.030 --> 01:11:35.200
I am very infuriated by this.
01:11:35.200 --> 01:11:37.600
There are two feelings that I feel…
01:11:37.600 --> 01:11:39.930
fear and guilt.
01:11:39.930 --> 01:11:47.600
My question is, are the guilt and fear still there?
01:11:57.900 --> 01:11:59.280
Hello, goodnight.
01:11:59.280 --> 01:12:02.250
First of all, I want to thank you for being here
01:12:02.250 --> 01:12:04.730
and for taking the time to come.
01:12:04.730 --> 01:12:07.880
It is still there and I think that it’ll always be
01:12:07.880 --> 01:12:10.630
because it was something very harsh that left a mark on me.
01:12:10.630 --> 01:12:15.580
It\'s changing me and it’s going to be with me my entire life.
01:12:15.580 --> 01:12:21.200
It doesn’t mean that it can’t happen to us just because we’re not gay right?
01:12:21.200 --> 01:12:25.200
And just because it happened to my brother
01:12:25.200 --> 01:12:27.750
doesn’t mean that it can’t happen to me.
01:12:27.750 --> 01:12:32.650
Let’s hope that it doesn’t but it can happen to anyone here.
01:12:32.650 --> 01:12:36.180
I am also a rape survivor.
01:12:36.180 --> 01:12:39.650
And I\'m truly grateful for the silence to be broken.
01:12:39.650 --> 01:12:43.900
Seeing the whole family here supporting you is very important to me.
01:12:44.900 --> 01:12:53.100
The same thing happened to me because I\'m gay or lesbian or whatever.
01:12:53.100 --> 01:12:57.380
A few months ago, a neighbour tried to kiss me.
01:12:57.380 --> 01:13:00.550
I was really upset and didn’t know what to do.
01:13:00.550 --> 01:13:05.400
I told my mum and my brother who is two years older than me.
01:13:05.400 --> 01:13:10.230
They trivialised what I have gone through.
01:13:10.230 --> 01:13:16.950
\"Nothing happened right? What did he do? He only wanted to kiss you.\"
01:13:16.950 --> 01:13:21.400
So the fact that there wasn’t a support system at that moment
01:13:21.400 --> 01:13:26.050
for you to let it out and be able to receive support
01:13:26.050 --> 01:13:29.700
is also a way how the society becomes an accomplice.
01:13:29.700 --> 01:13:34.800
How can you take care of yourself when you are 17, right?
01:13:34.800 --> 01:13:38.380
When I was 15 years old, I had a relationship with a man that was 31.
01:13:38.380 --> 01:13:43.150
And I didn’t think that it was a situation of abuse until I was around 30.
01:13:43.150 --> 01:13:48.380
I also know someone who went through that and completely ignores it.
01:13:48.380 --> 01:13:52.900
Unfortunately, we live in a country where there is a lot of ignorance.
01:13:52.900 --> 01:13:56.280
We are unfamiliar with the issue of HIV, myself included.
01:13:56.280 --> 01:13:59.880
I did not know that you can live with it.
01:13:59.880 --> 01:14:06.980
I identify with you because I was also abused by my cousin.
01:14:06.980 --> 01:14:11.380
In my case, unfortunately, there was no support.
01:14:11.380 --> 01:14:16.250
And when my mum found us, she hit me.
01:14:16.250 --> 01:14:23.280
So how do you deal with this situation? Especially being a woman?
01:14:23.600 --> 01:14:30.030
Now we are dealing with an abuse case involving a guy who is deaf.
01:14:30.830 --> 01:14:35.330
I mean he brought up a big problem for us.
01:14:35.330 --> 01:14:38.830
Because we can talk, there is a way to talk about it.
01:14:38.830 --> 01:14:39.500
Right.
01:14:39.500 --> 01:14:43.700
But what if somebody can’t?
01:14:43.700 --> 01:14:46.630
That was so brave. You\'re going to be the voice of many.
01:14:46.630 --> 01:14:48.130
Yes, thank you very much.
01:14:48.130 --> 01:14:50.250
Thank you. It’s a pleasure. I wish you well.
01:14:50.250 --> 01:14:51.300
We will keep in touch.
01:14:51.300 --> 01:14:51.980
Of course.
01:14:51.980 --> 01:14:52.750
You are very pretty.
01:14:52.750 --> 01:14:55.250
You are very young too. Take good care.
01:14:55.250 --> 01:14:56.430
We need to talk.
01:14:56.430 --> 01:14:59.050
This can’t be hidden anymore.
01:14:59.050 --> 01:15:01.750
A lot of shit is happening.
01:15:01.750 --> 01:15:05.280
And we can’t be separated so thank you so much really.
01:15:05.280 --> 01:15:11.480
You\'re setting an example of what it\'s like to be a mum in this case right?
01:15:11.480 --> 01:15:14.950
And giving your support which is very important.
01:15:14.950 --> 01:15:16.500
So I appreciate it a lot.
01:15:16.500 --> 01:15:18.950
Hello, I wanted to ask you something…
01:15:18.950 --> 01:15:19.280
Tell me.
01:15:19.280 --> 01:15:21.930
And I couldn’t because my family was here.
01:15:21.930 --> 01:15:25.300
I went through something similar and I wanted to know...
01:15:25.300 --> 01:15:27.550
You can do it.
01:15:27.550 --> 01:15:33.400
How do you deal with all of the people after so long?
01:15:33.400 --> 01:15:39.500
Oh come here. It’s very hard, very hard.
01:15:39.930 --> 01:15:43.880
I am about to come out to my family
01:15:43.880 --> 01:15:48.130
and I didn’t want to speak about this, right?
01:15:48.130 --> 01:15:51.830
But I think so...
01:15:57.580 --> 01:16:02.230
What’s wrong dear? What is it?
01:16:02.230 --> 01:16:06.750
Well nothing, I saw a lot of things right?
01:16:07.200 --> 01:16:09.150
You said it was 10 years.
01:16:09.150 --> 01:16:11.150
I’ve been trying to find a way for 20 years
01:16:11.150 --> 01:16:13.750
to talk about it
01:16:18.030 --> 01:16:21.800
because I am a trans man.
01:16:21.800 --> 01:16:28.200
So it\'s really hard and I decided that I\'m talking to them this year.
01:16:29.350 --> 01:16:33.530
Seeing all the support that you have helps me open up a little bit more.
01:16:33.530 --> 01:16:34.480
Of course.
01:16:34.480 --> 01:16:42.180
Actually, I was raped as well and it happened multiple times
01:16:42.180 --> 01:16:47.350
by several people and not just by one person.
01:16:48.730 --> 01:16:53.430
I feel very proud of him and we want to help people.
01:16:53.430 --> 01:16:56.480
I think that is what I am interested in now,
01:16:56.480 --> 01:17:01.780
that boys and girls talk to their mum.
01:17:01.780 --> 01:17:07.250
If you don’t have anyone at all, you have me.
01:17:29.250 --> 01:17:34.800
I’ve tried to remember what they look like.
01:17:34.800 --> 01:17:39.750
I would like them to recognise me so that they could see that yes,
01:17:39.750 --> 01:17:42.330
they did a lot of harm.
01:17:42.330 --> 01:17:45.500
But here I am, fine and strong,
01:17:45.500 --> 01:17:49.930
I’m fighting and I\'m here to speak up.
01:17:49.930 --> 01:17:53.400
To say that they did this to me.
01:17:53.400 --> 01:17:55.130
It\'s a very difficult situation.
01:17:55.130 --> 01:17:58.950
A lot of years have passed and it hurts.
01:18:00.830 --> 01:18:05.350
But I think that I have done my part.
01:18:10.400 --> 01:18:16.850
Now on this day, well in the last few years, I feel different
01:18:16.850 --> 01:18:20.500
because I have helped them.
01:18:20.500 --> 01:18:23.280
I see how my work has been reflected.
01:18:23.280 --> 01:18:27.400
I see Erick happier and closer to us.
01:18:27.400 --> 01:18:32.480
It has been hard but I’ve seen the light.
01:18:32.480 --> 01:18:35.200
That is all I can say.
01:18:36.930 --> 01:18:40.080
Well I forgot to thank my brother
01:18:40.080 --> 01:18:43.400
for everything that he has done for us over the years.
01:18:43.400 --> 01:18:47.530
He taught us how to shave, he taught us how to wash the car,
01:18:47.530 --> 01:18:50.080
everything that my dad has not done.
01:18:50.080 --> 01:18:54.380
And I’m going to say this, thank you mum.
01:18:54.380 --> 01:18:59.550
Because without you, we wouldn’t be who we are now.
01:18:59.550 --> 01:19:04.700
We are four men educated by one mother, ok?
01:19:40.500 --> 01:19:46.000
Erick conoció a su nuevo novio hace un mes
01:19:47.000 --> 01:19:54.000
Fue la primera vez que reveló su pasado y su condición en la primera cita
01:19:56.230 --> 01:19:59.980
I don’t really know why but we’ve all had problems
01:19:59.980 --> 01:20:03.680
at different stages in our lives.
01:20:03.680 --> 01:20:08.100
We have all fallen and risen again.
01:20:08.100 --> 01:20:15.900
I don’t have to surrender because even if a situation is hard,
01:20:15.900 --> 01:20:18.930
there will always be a solution.
01:20:18.930 --> 01:20:22.150
Because at the end, this is why we come here right?
01:20:22.150 --> 01:20:25.100
To be happy.
01:20:28.150 --> 01:20:32.880
If I hadn’t gone out that night to celebrate my birthday,
01:20:32.880 --> 01:20:35.430
if I had stayed home,
01:20:35.430 --> 01:20:39.580
if my friends had gone to my party,
01:20:39.580 --> 01:20:41.700
if I hadn’t taken that taxi,
01:20:41.700 --> 01:20:45.880
if I had stayed at someone’s house...
01:20:50.130 --> 01:20:54.730
I think a lot about how if I had done things differently,
01:20:54.730 --> 01:20:58.580
that wouldn’t have happened.
01:20:58.580 --> 01:21:03.180
Here in Mexico, we say, “El hubiera no existe.”
01:21:03.180 --> 01:21:10.880
It’s a saying about not thinking about what could’ve happened.
01:21:15.000 --> 01:21:17.750
It happened. And that’s it.
01:21:31.250 --> 01:21:36.320
1 de cada 10 victimas de violacion son hombres en Estados Unidos.
01:21:36.320 --> 01:21:41.500
96% de las ofensas sexuales en Reino Unido no son reportadas.
01:21:41.500 --> 01:21:49.000
No hay estadisticas para sobrevivientes masculinos de asalto sexual en México y en muchas partes del mundo.
01:21:49.000 --> 01:21:54.000
Si buscas ayuda entra a www.onetaxiride.com
01:21:55.500 --> 01:22:00.000
Un Viaje en Taxi
Distributor: Pragda Films
Length: 84 minutes
Date: 2019
Genre: Expository
Language: Spanish
Grade: College, Adults
Color/BW:
Closed Captioning: Available
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