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Undo Motherhood Ep. 03 - Resignation
- Description
- Reviews
- Citation
- Cataloging
- Transcript
View on the Pragda STREAM site
Undo Motherhood delves into the global phenomenon of women regretting motherhood. It exposes the impact of the patriarchal norms surrounding motherhood, highlighting the societal pressure on women to embrace this role, only to be left unsupported by fathers and society once they become mothers. Despite being dedicated and excellent by societal standards, these women grapple with the oppressive role of normative motherhood, often considering it a regrettable mistake that robs them of their existence.
This video is a multimedia version of the project UNDO MOTHERHOOD, published as a photo book in 2022 by Schilt Publishing (Amsterdam). Check out the book HERE.
Episode 01 – Exhaustion
Episode 02 – Isolation
Episode 03 – Resignation
Episode 04 – Acceptance
“The author dismantles the enumerated prejudices around the powerful conservative institution, dismantles conventional and prepackaged behaviors with a research that is ruthless and hard probing as it is beyond sincere. Her narrative manifests the controversial side and the discussed fact: it is as persuasive as the texture of velvet and as impactful as a ruinous fall onto concrete.” – Globalist
“The subjects in her images, although seemingly quiet and reflective, almost look as though they are screaming for help. You can see the desperation in some of their eyes, along with love, confusion, guilt, and every other emotion that undoubtedly comes from having and loving a child but realizing parenthood was probably the wrong decision. It's these complex emotions that Diana attempts to unpick, taking various perspectives from those she photographed and interviewed.” – Creative Boom
“Respectful, intimate imagery makes visible a continuum of ambivalence.” – J. Sybylla Smith, curator
Citation
Main credits
Karklin, Diana (filmmaker)
Other credits
Cinematography, Diana Karklin; editing, José Bautista.
Distributor subjects
Women; Family; Sociology; Gender + Sexuality Studies; Mental Health; Short FilmsKeywords
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I don't know if it has to do with the fact that
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I never lived with children
and I never liked them,
00:00:17.360 --> 00:00:21.120
so the idea of having one at home
24 hours a day
00:00:21.360 --> 00:00:25.560
was not something that I liked
or attracted my attention.
00:00:26.040 --> 00:00:29.040
In the same way that I like
00:00:30.040 --> 00:00:32.480
helping animals,
00:00:32.480 --> 00:00:35.160
in the same way I knew that
I did not want children
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in my life.
00:00:40.040 --> 00:00:43.480
When the doctor told me that
I couldn’t have children,
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I shouldn’t have trusted him so blindly.
For such a delicate matter,
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I should have got a second opinion,
and should have not just taken his opinion
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at face value.
00:00:53.520 --> 00:00:56.480
And as for my husband,
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it was a series of bad decisions too.
As long as I keep blaming other people
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or things that might have had an influence...
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I won’t be able to take the next step forward
00:01:12.960 --> 00:01:16.200
and try to mature and learn
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from the whole situation.
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At first we had typical problems
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that got out of control.
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He started having anger management issues.
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The moment he threatened me
and tried to hit me,
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it was when I decided not to stay longer
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and see if he was going to hit me or not.
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Two and a half months after I left,
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I found out that I was 3 months pregnant.
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We were talking and
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he convinced me to try again
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to have a normal family
for the sake of the girl.
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We got back together, we were together for a year,
but it didn't work out.
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Things got worse and worse.
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We started hating each other,
we weren't even a couple anymore
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and it wasn't healthy for us
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to be together with the girl.
We began to traumatize her...
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so I decided to end
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this relationship.
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God save you Mary, full of grace,
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The Lord is with you, blessed are you
among all
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I would dare to say that the most sacred thing
here in Mexico is the Virgin,
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the self-sacrificing mother
and the example for all women.
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It is said that our job in the world
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is to have children.
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And once you have children,
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you have to sacrifice your body and soul for them.
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If a woman is a bit selfish
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and wants to work,
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it is wrong because it is assumed that
when you have children,
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you have to disappear and
the only thing that should matter is your children.
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And the fact that someone rebels
against disappearing
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is already considered the worst
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because that is how we have been educated.
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"My mother took blows from my father for us" -
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things like this that
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subconsciously remain
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and if I don't do the same,
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I'm a bad mother.
And being a bad mother is the worst.
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Women must be good mothers.
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(For the best cowboy...the best cattle.)
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I think that just as I realized
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my mother regretted motherhood,
my daughter will also end up realizing the same.
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I don’t want to pretend,
but I truly believe that
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if I do things right,
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if I never show her any sort of rejection,
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she will understand.
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I think it is something that has to be
instilled in children from when they are little.
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You need to ensure that they never feel rejected
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because this is what makes a big difference
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when the truth comes out.
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If you give them love, affection
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and everything possible and they know it,
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then, in the end, whether or not
you regretted having children
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becomes secondary.
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Maybe my mother didn’t want to have me,
but she had me
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and she loves me,
and the rest is
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history.
Distributor: Pragda Films
Length: 6 minutes
Date: 2022
Genre: Expository
Language: Spanish
Grade: College, Adult
Color/BW:
Closed Captioning: Available
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