WEBVTT

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[music]

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Grow old along with me! The best
is yet to be, The last of life,

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for which the first was made.

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Our times are in His hand Who
saith \"A whole I planned,

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Youth shows but half; trust God see all,

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nor be afraid! American
culture seems ashamed of age

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that would pass that shame
onto each of us insisting

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that old age is an enemy to be
fought against to the death.

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We will not accept a negative view of age in
this program. We want to challenge our culture

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that is obsessed with youth.
Youth shows but half.

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[music]

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[music]

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The poet Robert Browning hints that youth

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has beauty and grace because youth
would be intolerable without it.

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Young people are decorative
that’s why we like them.

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They’re slender, agile, fair and graceful because
nobody could stand them if they were otherwise.

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It would be horrible if boys and girls

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knowing as little as they do or
also bald, gray headed, fat,

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wrinkled and double chinned
then they would be unendurable,

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but nature has so arranged matters that
young people are physically attractive

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until they acquire some brains and sense,
and they’re able to live by their wits.

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Then they lose their superficial advantage.

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I don’t think of it as age. I
think of it where I am now.

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Uh… I am 71 going on 72, but I don’t think
of that of the numbers of the years.

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I read an article once written by a woman

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in her late 50s I think she was. This
article was about the glass women.

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When you get past 55 and no longer
sexually attractive to men,

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men don’t say, ‘Oh, look at that
pretty girl.’ Then, your glass,

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you’re made of glass and they see
right through you and that happens.

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Uh… I think, ‘Oh, I look pretty
good but no one looks at me, ’

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like ‘Oh, my guess I don’t look so good
anymore.’ I mean, that’s just there.

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I can’t do anything about it. I mean, I
could have my face lifted I suppose,

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but that’s not real to me, that’s not life.

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Do not speak of yourself (for God’s sake)

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even when asked. Do not dwell
on other times as different

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from the time Whose air we breathe;
or recall books with broken spines

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Whose titles died with the old dreams. Do
not resort to An alphabet of gnarled pain,

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but speak of the lark’s wing Unbroken,
still fluent as the tongue.

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Call out the names of stars
Until their metal clangs

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in the enormous dark. Yodel
your way Through fields

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where the dew weeps, but not you… not you.

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Have no communion with
despair; and, at the end,

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Take the old fury in your
empty arms, sever its veins,

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And bear it fiercely… fiercely
to the wild beast’s lair.

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Said the little boy. \"Sometimes I
drop my spoon.\" Said the old man,

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\"I do that too.\" The little boy whispered.
\"I wet my pants.\"

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\"I do that too,\" laughed the little
old man. Said the little boy.

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\"I often cry.\"

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The old man nodded, \"So do I.\" \"But worst of all,
it seems Grown-ups don’t pay attention to me.\"

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And he felt the warmth
of a wrinkled old hand.

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\"I know what you mean,\"
said the little old man.

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You and I are old;

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Old age hath yet his honor and
his toil; Death closes all

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but something ere the end,
some work of noble note,

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may yet be done. It is not too
late to seek a newer world.

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Tho’ much is taken, much abides; and tho’

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We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are… we are.

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Though much is taken much abides,

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a 90 year-old weaver wrote. I
love to weave. I’ll stop weaving

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when I can’t move any more. Until then,
you’ll find me dancing on the loom.

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And the Canadian painter Emily Carr
wrote in her journal, I feel old, old,

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and stiff and tired except when
I paint, them I am no age.

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When we’re fully engaged in what
we’re doing that we are no age.

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Pacem in Terris was discovered one day

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when I looked out of the window here I notice
that the garbage dump to cross the river,

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it was the ruin of an 18th century water mill
that had burned down about hundred years ago.

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I was very intrigued by it and I tried
to buy it. And I bought it at the time

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for $800. They want $900, but I…

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I’m a businessman after all.

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[music]

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We discovered by sheer luck

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that we had an absolutely outstanding
acoustics and that was the beginning

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of our chamber music concerts.

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I saw Pacem in Terris as
something absolutely precious.

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I wanted it to be a sacred space,

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a sacred space that might speak to
the sacred space that I think is,

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the very basis of every human heart.
Until it became a canvas in a way.

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Of a recent trip to
France, Frederick writes,

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on Easter I was drawing the
City Hall of (inaudible)

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just south of the Belgian border. As I sat
there drawing (inaudible) disappeared

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and returned with a little bag of chocolates.
Your birthday present she said, hard to believe.

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I’d entered my 90th year
chewing (inaudible) chocolate,

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drawing that Old Town Square
with eyes still is astonished

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as 60 years ago. The woman with a little
bag of chocolates made to you look older

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than in 1955, but not to me.

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I love every single stroke, every dot as a
direct precipitation of what the eye perceives.

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It’s a witness of sheer seeing

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that travels through the retina,
through all the ones organism,

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heart included to the
hand that steers the pen,

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uncensored for a racing is impossible. Forgive
me this hymnody and praise of drawing.

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[music]

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So many people who come
here and react to the place

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and the place is nothing but a
few pass and some sculptures,

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but quiet just nature
bit wild a bit unkempt.

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[music]

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The Oldest symbol of Christ is
the fish from the catacombs.

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I saw that as an immense fish

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and every scale of that
fish was a human face

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and that’s fish were sailing
through the interstellar spaces.

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This was not an idea, it was a vision.

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Also it became a picture of all of humanity
in its interchangeable unity of faces,

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each one being an individually

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and at the same time universal.
All those little souls,

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so many of us it… it’s
like the… the pebbles

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on the bottom of the ocean. So I… I
can’t think that I’m important at all

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that I have created anything. The
only thing when I think of my life

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that makes me very happy is the
fact that I did the solo plays;

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Emily Dickinson, Charlotte
Brontë, Isaac Denison,

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Joyce’s Nora and James Joyce

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and Dark Harrington and (inaudible)
those plays came directly from me

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because of my love and enthusiasm
for those real people.

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That makes me happy. I don’t
know if it has any purpose,

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but it’s made me very happy. I
enjoy putting a play together

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and acting it even more
than I did when I started

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as I was full of so many fears when I began
and I don’t have as many of those anymore.

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[sil.]

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No… no, Willy, you’re getting
so red on your face.

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I’m afraid something’s gonna happen to you.
That happens to be sometimes.

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Yeah, you got diabetes. I had something
else. Now play the cards! I don’t have.

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(inaudible) you stroke right in front
of me. I’ll worry about the stroke,

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you just worry by the cards.
The cards that were dealt.

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You get a hand of cards and you have to
know that’s those are the ones you got.

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Uh… You have to make the best of them,

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to make the best of to try to make the
best of everything. Even if it’s a tragedy

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uh… to turn that into something
mean… meaningful for you or…

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or the people around you. I mean,
you… you can think of a woman

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who crossed a thousand walked

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across a year (inaudible) thousand miles

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and then lost her baby and you think
well, how does she survived that,

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I mean, she must survive it, but how?

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And… and the problem of aging
is we’ve you could say,

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’We’ve walked a thousand
miles and now we’re all old.

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I know chronologically I’m old, so what?

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Uh… I’ve lots of things I still want
do and lots of things I will do.

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Uh… I… I never see myself retiring.

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Uh… Someone called with the dirtiest words
in the English language uh… retirement.

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I’m in really rude good health
for somebody my age. I’m 86

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and I think I can still play somebody
of 65, but one reason here is about

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the rewards of aging, I don’t
think I’m really aware of them

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and I get furious about the things that I can
no longer do or can no longer do easily.

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If I were a wiser man, I
would have cultivated

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some sort of serenity and acceptance of age

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that allow me to take the ageing years
with grace, I wish I had it (inaudible)

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but there’s whole another side of life

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which I think I hope has grown and developed
which is perhaps my capacity for feeling.

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There’s a poem by Walter John de la
Mare that (inaudible) are whole other

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I’m probably much healthier
attitude toward aging.

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Age takes in panelists hands
or one loves most away;

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peace, joy,

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simplicity where then they’re inward stay

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or so at least they say

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marvel of noontide lights of gradual

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break of day dreams,
visions of the night, age,

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(inaudible) all away.

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Yes… yes, that is what they
say, ‘Wonder of winter snow,

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magic of wandering moon,
the starry hosts of heaven

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come 70.’ All are gone.

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Yes… yes, that is what they say

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unhappy when alone,

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nowhere at peace to be, drown the old self

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sown eager thoughts
constantly staring in me.

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Extraordinary

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that’s what they say to me!

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Is somebody is going to control me and
my life and determine what I feel

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or what I think. I think
that old people are being

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put into a different category of
human, not quite up to anything

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and I think that people have to
be taught that life for people

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does not end at a certain age. And
I do not want to leave this Earth,

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not yet. It’s still beautiful and I
think it has to do with creativity.

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I want to do things, a lot of things. I
always think of what I want to do next,

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really? I have an assignment to go
to Poland to and to Eastern Germany.

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Can you imagine at my age an
editor gave me an assignment,

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but I doubt very much that
I be able to do it because

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I’m 90. I’m not as chip as I used to be.

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It involves a great deal of
walking and great deal of doing

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and I don’t think as of now

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maybe next year. I think
the most important thing

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in my life has been my work, it still is.

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It’s the core of my life really.

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You know photographers are hunters

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and it is a great source of
satisfaction when you caught your prey

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and when it’s just what you want. You just started
telling me. No… no, I mean it… I mean it.

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I have more than 200,000 negative.

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It all deals with people
with their histories,

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where they came from.

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The most astonishing thing to
my mind is that I practically

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almost never spoke the
language of the people.

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I speak to each other, you
know, without languages.

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They have a language of their own,

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so they sort of understood
me and I understood them.

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At the very bottom, very
basic they are pretty

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much the same, the recognition, you
know, that is your brother, you sister.

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An aged man is but a paltry thing,
A tattered coat upon a stick,

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unless Soul clap its hands and sing,

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and louder sing for every
tatter in its mortal dress.

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[music]

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I love to sing… I love to sing. I
don’t know what I will feel like

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when I can’t sing anymore.
I have not come to that.

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All of my years

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in the Opera World, I
knew from the beginning

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that one day I would let
singing go, that’s okay.

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And it’s not to say that even at this time
I won’t sing one or two more performances

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of something and sort of tying a
bow and say I finished that job.

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[music]

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At this particular age, at 65 years
old, come on it’s ridiculous to think

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that for 15 or 20 or 30 more years I’m
going to be singing the way I sang

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when I was, you know, 10 years
younger or even as I sing today.

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At look in the mirror at yourself, it
is more horizontal than anything. Okay.

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What is going to help me with letting go, will be
what I’m about to do also at this time in my life,

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which I never thought I wanted
to do and that is to teach

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and to try to give what I have learned and what I have
gone through to young singers. And this is another career.

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[music]

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Yes! That’s it. I like. Oh, no!
…that’s the wrong play.

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No, that’s all right, but you see what your
Performa because what you did, you said I took the…

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[music]

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We have been grey,

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growing our way, life has been beautiful.
We have been young.

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After you gone

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life will go on like an

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(inaudible).

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When I grow

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too old to dream.

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I’ll have you to remember…

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I really seemed to have no brains
at all as a youngster in school

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and I thought I can’t do anything in the world.
Everybody else knows how to take apart a carburetor

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and… and knows about the stock market
and I can’t figure anything out.

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So it was the luckiest thing in the
world that I learned that I could act.

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As my grandmother would say, I fell
in a sewer and came up with a watch…

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with a gold watch. I’m lucky.

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[music]

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The voice was given to me, so what do I
really have to be proud of except the work

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that I put into making this… this
gift that was given to me better.

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[music]

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I hope that when I come to that point that I will not be
able to sing, I will be able to accept it graciously.

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[music]

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I will arise and go now,

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and go to Innisfree, And a
small cabin build there,

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of clay and wattles made; Nine
bean rows will I have there,

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a hive for the honey bee, and
live alone in the bee-loud glade.

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I don’t think people
should fear being alone.

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The fear is the… the Devil
walking the world and saying,

00:21:50.000 --> 00:21:54.999
’I want you to be afraid… be afraid.
I don’t wanna be afraid.

00:21:55.000 --> 00:21:59.999
I’ve been alone now since more
than 20 years I’ve been alone.

00:22:00.000 --> 00:22:04.999
Umm… I have a son who I see occasionally

00:22:05.000 --> 00:22:09.999
but I don’t live with anybody.
I miss companionship

00:22:10.000 --> 00:22:14.999
like that closeness in living with someone.

00:22:15.000 --> 00:22:19.999
I think my mother and father are as close
to me as they ever were and my brother,

00:22:20.000 --> 00:22:24.999
they’re always in my thoughts. They’re always with me and
they’d been gone a long time. I think these spirits,

00:22:25.000 --> 00:22:29.999
these and what we are spirits,
we’re filling the atmosphere.

00:22:30.000 --> 00:22:34.999
And I shall have some peace there,
for peace comes dropping slow,

00:22:35.000 --> 00:22:39.999
Dropping from the veils of the
morning to where the cricket sings;

00:22:40.000 --> 00:22:44.999
There midnight’s all a glimmer,
and noon a purple glow,

00:22:45.000 --> 00:22:49.999
and evening full of the linnet’s wings.

00:22:50.000 --> 00:22:54.999
I will arise and go now,
for always night and day

00:22:55.000 --> 00:22:59.999
I hear lake water lapping
with low sounds by the shore;

00:23:00.000 --> 00:23:04.999
While I stand on the roadway,
or on the pavements grey,

00:23:05.000 --> 00:23:09.999
I hear it in the deep heart’s core.

00:23:10.000 --> 00:23:14.999
There’s loneliness

00:23:15.000 --> 00:23:19.999
which is restless and that you
experienced as a mistake of some kind

00:23:20.000 --> 00:23:24.999
or let’s say unwanted, very unwanted,
you’re trying to get away from it.

00:23:25.000 --> 00:23:29.999
Then, there’s loneliness

00:23:30.000 --> 00:23:34.999
which maybe you could change the words
and call it aloneness, which is cool.

00:23:35.000 --> 00:23:39.999
Not meaning cold and distant or aloof,

00:23:40.000 --> 00:23:44.999
but that you rest in and feel nourished by.

00:23:45.000 --> 00:23:49.999
So my experience is that
we start where we are

00:23:50.000 --> 00:23:54.999
which is usually with that restless,
hot, uncomfortable, unwanted loneliness.

00:23:55.000 --> 00:23:59.999
[sil.]

00:24:00.000 --> 00:24:04.999
What to do about that and I’m saying you… you go into
it, you become intimate with it, it’s not so easy

00:24:05.000 --> 00:24:09.999
but if that’s your question rather than
how to get rid of this, you find out.

00:24:10.000 --> 00:24:14.999
It isn’t really that that
heartbroken quality goes away

00:24:15.000 --> 00:24:19.999
and suddenly your lighthearted
and singing and dancing,

00:24:20.000 --> 00:24:24.999
it’s… it’s that sometimes your lighthearted

00:24:25.000 --> 00:24:29.999
and sometimes it has that genuine broken hearted feeling,
but all of that is part of the beauty I guess you could say

00:24:30.000 --> 00:24:34.999
are the shared humanness.

00:24:35.000 --> 00:24:39.999
I’ve been saying lately in my teaching, you know,
that the pith instruction is just to stay…

00:24:40.000 --> 00:24:44.999
to stay here, to simply
stay here with the energy

00:24:45.000 --> 00:24:49.999
of the present moment whatever
that might be weakness or pain,

00:24:50.000 --> 00:24:54.999
different kinds the aches and pains,
but there’s also emotional energy

00:24:55.000 --> 00:24:59.999
of the moment like being angry or
lonely or depressed or sadness,

00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:04.999
these different energies, you know,

00:25:05.000 --> 00:25:09.999
and even though it sounds very
simplistic, you know, to just be stay

00:25:10.000 --> 00:25:14.999
in the moment you’re in, it’s very
profound actually to be fully here

00:25:15.000 --> 00:25:19.999
and very rare to stay

00:25:20.000 --> 00:25:24.999
and not feel that there’s some better now
someplace else or later or in the past.

00:25:25.000 --> 00:25:29.999
I don’t know exactly what a prayer is?

00:25:30.000 --> 00:25:34.999
I do know how to pay attention,

00:25:35.000 --> 00:25:39.999
how to fall down into the grass,
how to kneel down in the grass,

00:25:40.000 --> 00:25:44.999
how to be idle and blessed, how
to stroll through the fields

00:25:45.000 --> 00:25:49.999
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me what else should I done.

00:25:50.000 --> 00:25:54.999
Doesn’t everything die
at last and too soon?

00:25:55.000 --> 00:25:59.999
Tell me what is it you plan to do with your

00:26:00.000 --> 00:26:04.999
one wild and precious life.

00:26:05.000 --> 00:26:09.999
When we’re young, your concentration
is on yourself and keeping ahead

00:26:10.000 --> 00:26:14.999
or at least abreast of everything that
is transpiring in your particular world.

00:26:15.000 --> 00:26:19.999
When your energy begins
to flag a little bit,

00:26:20.000 --> 00:26:24.999
as it does nature taps you on the shoulder and says, ‘It’s
time now that you don’t have to do all that stuff.’

00:26:25.000 --> 00:26:29.999
Your body, and your mind

00:26:30.000 --> 00:26:34.999
and your spirit, if you listen to and say,

00:26:35.000 --> 00:26:39.999
you really wanna go to that party
to meet all those new people.

00:26:40.000 --> 00:26:44.999
I really don’t and I
know it’d be good for me

00:26:45.000 --> 00:26:49.999
uh… business-wise, but to
hell with business wise.

00:26:50.000 --> 00:26:54.999
I am… I’m gonna stay on all
the night to read Mark Twain.

00:26:55.000 --> 00:26:59.999
That’s the joy of it and… and because
you got a few years and here they say,

00:27:00.000 --> 00:27:04.999
’Oh, Richard, won’t become. He is, you know,
he’s said he’s a little tired (inaudible)

00:27:05.000 --> 00:27:09.999
it all right you know, but if you’re 35 and
you won’t come people get furious, they say,

00:27:10.000 --> 00:27:14.999
’Oh, wealth over them who needs
it.’ I have joy… I have joy.

00:27:15.000 --> 00:27:19.999
It’s not joy of the explosive kind

00:27:20.000 --> 00:27:24.999
that you have when you’re young, not quite

00:27:25.000 --> 00:27:29.999
but it’s a wonderful joy
that spread thinly.

00:27:30.000 --> 00:27:34.999
I suppose it’s where joy edges into peace.

00:27:35.000 --> 00:27:39.999
So much joy we have when we’re young,
really has no peace in it at all,

00:27:40.000 --> 00:27:44.999
it’s just crazy joy and
wildness and… and that’s fine,

00:27:45.000 --> 00:27:49.999
but it doesn’t wear well and but where…

00:27:50.000 --> 00:27:54.999
where you have peace with…
with an overlay of joy

00:27:55.000 --> 00:27:59.999
that’s… that’s the consummation devoutly to be wished
that’s… that’s the answer I think you can grab that.

00:28:00.000 --> 00:28:04.999
The time will come

00:28:05.000 --> 00:28:09.999
when with elation, you will greet
yourself arriving at your own door,

00:28:10.000 --> 00:28:14.999
in your own mirror, and each will
smile at the other’s welcome,

00:28:15.000 --> 00:28:19.999
and say, sit here. Eat.

00:28:20.000 --> 00:28:24.999
You will love again the stranger who
was your self. Give wine. Give bread.

00:28:25.000 --> 00:28:29.999
Give back your heart to
itself, to the stranger

00:28:30.000 --> 00:28:34.999
who has loved you all your life,
whom you ignored for another,

00:28:35.000 --> 00:28:39.999
who knows you by heart. Take down the
love letters from the bookshelf,

00:28:40.000 --> 00:28:44.999
the photographs, the desperate notes,

00:28:45.000 --> 00:28:49.999
peel your own image from the mirror. Sit.

00:28:50.000 --> 00:28:54.999
Feast on your life.

00:28:55.000 --> 00:28:59.999
I love to be alone. I’ve had
a long trading, you know,

00:29:00.000 --> 00:29:04.999
and I don’t mind solitude
at all I… I treasure it.

00:29:05.000 --> 00:29:09.999
A photographer has a
solitary life to begin with.

00:29:10.000 --> 00:29:14.999
It certainly isn’t the darkroom
until a picture is really finished,

00:29:15.000 --> 00:29:19.999
you know, complete. It’s all solitary.

00:29:20.000 --> 00:29:24.999
The only thing that I find difficult

00:29:25.000 --> 00:29:29.999
and that made me sort of anxious that I
have to make all the decision alone,

00:29:30.000 --> 00:29:34.999
not that I would take advice
all the time, you know.

00:29:35.000 --> 00:29:39.999
But to talk things over with I think
that is fairly difficult thing

00:29:40.000 --> 00:29:44.999
for people who live alone. I lost my
mother when I was eight years old.

00:29:45.000 --> 00:29:49.999
So she died very young. I lost
my older sister in Auschwitz

00:29:50.000 --> 00:29:54.999
and her two sons were
also killed by the Nazis.

00:29:55.000 --> 00:29:59.999
I did not ever really deal

00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:04.999
with the (inaudible), but what was
the point in dealing with it,

00:30:05.000 --> 00:30:09.999
you know,

00:30:10.000 --> 00:30:14.999
it sounds kind of tough but I pushed it
away because I didn’t want to suffer,

00:30:15.000 --> 00:30:19.999
yes… yes. But recently

00:30:20.000 --> 00:30:24.999
I had laser prints made of old
family pictures, you know,

00:30:25.000 --> 00:30:29.999
my sisters and other sisters, you know,
and I’m quite delighted with it,

00:30:30.000 --> 00:30:34.999
but if you think that I shouldn’t be

00:30:35.000 --> 00:30:39.999
or today I’m dwelling on the past I’m not.

00:30:40.000 --> 00:30:44.999
When you’re young,

00:30:45.000 --> 00:30:49.999
you care more about what
people say or think about you,

00:30:50.000 --> 00:30:54.999
the vanities of life move
into the background,

00:30:55.000 --> 00:30:59.999
you know, not that I don’t
want to local okay,

00:31:00.000 --> 00:31:04.999
you know, I want to wear nice
clothes and all that, yes,

00:31:05.000 --> 00:31:09.999
that to a degree exists of course, but
I am not concerned with wrinkles.

00:31:10.000 --> 00:31:14.999
Wrinkles and photography are delicious.

00:31:15.000 --> 00:31:19.999
They show that the person
has lived in he suffered.

00:31:20.000 --> 00:31:24.999
Don’t think of me as an old person,

00:31:25.000 --> 00:31:29.999
I’m the same person that I was when
I was younger and the same person.

00:31:30.000 --> 00:31:34.999
[music]

00:31:35.000 --> 00:31:39.999
These wrinkles are nothing.

00:31:40.000 --> 00:31:44.999
These gray hairs are nothing. This
stomach which sags with old food,

00:31:45.000 --> 00:31:49.999
these bruised and swollen
ankles, they are nothing.

00:31:50.000 --> 00:31:54.999
I am the same boy my mother used to kiss.

00:31:55.000 --> 00:31:59.999
The years change nothing.
On windless summer nights

00:32:00.000 --> 00:32:04.999
I feel those kisses slide
from her dark lips far away,

00:32:05.000 --> 00:32:09.999
and in winter they float
over the frozen pines

00:32:10.000 --> 00:32:14.999
and are covered with snow.
They keep me young.

00:32:15.000 --> 00:32:19.999
[music]

00:32:20.000 --> 00:32:24.999
When I first moved here, I was hit
by a Great… Great Depression.

00:32:25.000 --> 00:32:29.999
When I was up here alone without
friends, without family,

00:32:30.000 --> 00:32:34.999
the worst fear is not (inaudible) not
wrong to use in that… that state

00:32:35.000 --> 00:32:39.999
that I’m trying to describe
and it was aloneness

00:32:40.000 --> 00:32:44.999
and once I understood what it was
being alone is a very special

00:32:45.000 --> 00:32:49.999
uh… state and not easy. Aloneness

00:32:50.000 --> 00:32:54.999
is what we started out with that when aloneness begins
as when the moment you’re born and it’s frightening,

00:32:55.000 --> 00:32:59.999
but it is also glorious
and I… I’m moving now

00:33:00.000 --> 00:33:04.999
uh… to… to… to enjoy the aloneness and
I would never call it loneliness.

00:33:05.000 --> 00:33:09.999
Loneliness would be what
I used to feel about it,

00:33:10.000 --> 00:33:14.999
you know, before I knew what it was.

00:33:15.000 --> 00:33:19.999
Jimmy Jones, (inaudible) (inaudible) man

00:33:20.000 --> 00:33:24.999
I had some very nice scenes with
him and a film by (inaudible)

00:33:25.000 --> 00:33:29.999
it it’s called alone. And it’s
the story about a Texas farmer

00:33:30.000 --> 00:33:34.999
who has just lost his wife and the one person
who’s got an extraordinary relationship

00:33:35.000 --> 00:33:39.999
with a man who for many… many… many years
has been his foreman, Jimmy Jones.

00:33:40.000 --> 00:33:44.999
You want me to crop this year?
How would I know Grey.

00:33:45.000 --> 00:33:49.999
That the truth.

00:33:50.000 --> 00:33:54.999
Nobody can tell that. When you gonna
make the crop and when you, you don’t.

00:33:55.000 --> 00:33:59.999
I have to make a crop, Grey.
I have no money left.

00:34:00.000 --> 00:34:04.999
You’d get a loan, you always…

00:34:05.000 --> 00:34:09.999
At the very end of the film
they’re left alone together.

00:34:10.000 --> 00:34:14.999
Jackie gone back to Huston? Yeah.

00:34:15.000 --> 00:34:19.999
And he’s standing on the porch
of my house and he says.

00:34:20.000 --> 00:34:24.999
It’s all quiet.

00:34:25.000 --> 00:34:29.999
My God! It’s all quiet. Pleasant…
pleasant… pleasant quite.

00:34:30.000 --> 00:34:34.999
I lived my life

00:34:35.000 --> 00:34:39.999
in growing orbits than move out
over the things of the world.

00:34:40.000 --> 00:34:44.999
Perhaps I could never achieve the
last, but that is my attempt.

00:34:45.000 --> 00:34:49.999
I’m circling around God, around the ancient tower
and I’ve been circling for a thousand years

00:34:50.000 --> 00:34:55.000
and I still don’t know if I’m a
falcon, or stone or a great song?

00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:05.000
[music]

00:35:10.000 --> 00:35:14.999
Two Old people work.

00:35:15.000 --> 00:35:19.999
Side by side. She wears a hat. The
old man boasts no hair at all.

00:35:20.000 --> 00:35:24.999
She moves. And he kneels, he digs.

00:35:25.000 --> 00:35:29.999
And she nods while. He speaks to the seed
that. She ardently covers row by row.

00:35:30.000 --> 00:35:34.999
They rise and bend over
their garden on earth.

00:35:35.000 --> 00:35:39.999
Sunflowers will bloom toward late summer.

00:35:40.000 --> 00:35:48.000
[music]

00:35:50.000 --> 00:35:54.999
The relationship well its 40 years

00:35:55.000 --> 00:35:59.999
and uh… we’ve gone through very much and
it was all sometimes very difficult.

00:36:00.000 --> 00:36:04.999
Our intimacy started by the discovery

00:36:05.000 --> 00:36:09.999
one afternoon 41 years ago on
the 18th of September however

00:36:10.000 --> 00:36:14.999
that we saw the same things looking at…

00:36:15.000 --> 00:36:19.999
It was on a beach during rain and wind.
And it was raining and I said,

00:36:20.000 --> 00:36:24.999
’Can you just walk on the beach
and I set my shoes out and…

00:36:25.000 --> 00:36:29.999
and the seagull were flying and we both saw
that at exactly the same way and we still do.

00:36:30.000 --> 00:36:34.999
And I saw her delight in seeing the scene,

00:36:35.000 --> 00:36:39.999
seeing that seagull look at that.

00:36:40.000 --> 00:36:44.999
I said this woman she’s exactly what
I see and that’s what it’s based on.

00:36:45.000 --> 00:36:49.999
Now it is exactly as
surprising as it was then.

00:36:50.000 --> 00:36:54.999
You don’t have to become an old fogy.

00:36:55.000 --> 00:36:59.999
Fogy means that you are petrified in
your habits, petrified in your desires.

00:37:00.000 --> 00:37:04.999
I’ve had an uncle who was
terribly unhappy because he felt

00:37:05.000 --> 00:37:09.999
that he was sexually played
out, nothing is better.

00:37:10.000 --> 00:37:14.999
This is a tremendous enrichment.
Not to have this challenge.

00:37:15.000 --> 00:37:19.999
Why… why because instead
of seeing an object

00:37:20.000 --> 00:37:24.999
of desire, you’re see human beings

00:37:25.000 --> 00:37:30.000
and so you’re seeing (inaudible) they smiled not
because you have nice legs, but that who you are.

00:37:35.000 --> 00:37:39.999
They have only to look at each other to
laugh no one knows why, not even they

00:37:40.000 --> 00:37:44.999
Something back in the lives they’ve lived,

00:37:45.000 --> 00:37:49.999
something they both remember but no words can
say. They go off at an evening’s end to talk

00:37:50.000 --> 00:37:54.999
but they don’t, or to sleep but
they lie awake hardly a word,

00:37:55.000 --> 00:37:59.999
just a touch, just near, just
listening but not to hear.

00:38:00.000 --> 00:38:04.999
Everything they know they know together.

00:38:05.000 --> 00:38:09.999
Everything, that is, but one. Their lives
they’ve learned like secrets from each other.

00:38:10.000 --> 00:38:14.999
Their deaths they think of
this in the nights alone.

00:38:15.000 --> 00:38:19.999
If you have a relationship
with another human being

00:38:20.000 --> 00:38:24.999
that has deepened and broadened,

00:38:25.000 --> 00:38:29.999
the prospect of losing that person
or of having to leave that person

00:38:30.000 --> 00:38:34.999
and leaving them alone is
daunting, that’s the next step.

00:38:35.000 --> 00:38:39.999
That would be a very hard thing for me
and actually the idea of… of death,

00:38:40.000 --> 00:38:44.999
myself dying it doesn’t
really faze me that much.

00:38:45.000 --> 00:38:49.999
I don’t… I don’t want to be in pain and I don’t
want it to really, you know, be agonizing.

00:38:50.000 --> 00:38:54.999
But the idea of stepping off the stage

00:38:55.000 --> 00:38:59.999
at this point is not… is
not that terrifying to me.

00:39:00.000 --> 00:39:04.999
What… what is scary is… is
losing Patricia and that’s…

00:39:05.000 --> 00:39:09.999
that’s something that I’m dealing with.
Uh… You have to say, ‘Wow!

00:39:10.000 --> 00:39:14.999
We’ve developed this
relationship through the years.

00:39:15.000 --> 00:39:19.999
You’re really my half of my soul and
how could I function without you.

00:39:20.000 --> 00:39:28.000
[music]

00:39:30.000 --> 00:39:34.999
To live in this world you must
be able to do three things

00:39:35.000 --> 00:39:39.999
to love what is mortal; to
hold it against your bones

00:39:40.000 --> 00:39:45.000
knowing your own life depends on it; and, when
the time comes to let it go, to let it go.

00:39:50.000 --> 00:39:54.999
I have been amongst the
most fortunately man.

00:39:55.000 --> 00:39:59.999
First and foremost I had
52 years of marriage

00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:04.999
to an absolutely wonderful
lady and after she’s been gone

00:40:05.000 --> 00:40:09.999
for a couple of years I remarried
to another wonderful lady,

00:40:10.000 --> 00:40:14.999
equally talented in her own area. Someone
who was a great friend of my wife,

00:40:15.000 --> 00:40:19.999
my first wife and who I’ve
known for over 20 years

00:40:20.000 --> 00:40:24.999
and so there’s a… a continuity to
my living that I’m so blessed with.

00:40:25.000 --> 00:40:29.999
You smoke more matches than you do tobacco.

00:40:30.000 --> 00:40:34.999
Pray, do not mock me.

00:40:35.000 --> 00:40:39.999
I am a very foolish fond old
man, Fourscore and upward,

00:40:40.000 --> 00:40:44.999
not fear I am not in my perfect mind. I
know a (inaudible) by heart, quite a lot

00:40:45.000 --> 00:40:49.999
umm… and it’s been a great joy to me.

00:40:50.000 --> 00:40:54.999
Uh… I know this one (inaudible)
because it was the finale

00:40:55.000 --> 00:40:59.999
of concert piece called the Many Phases
of Love with Jesse and I did together

00:41:00.000 --> 00:41:04.999
and that was the last, you know, the
end of it. I held out my hand to it.

00:41:05.000 --> 00:41:09.999
Love is not all

00:41:10.000 --> 00:41:14.999
It is not meat nor drink nor slumber

00:41:15.000 --> 00:41:19.999
nor a roof against the rain; nor yet
a floating spar to men that sink

00:41:20.000 --> 00:41:24.999
and rise… and sink and rise and sink again;

00:41:25.000 --> 00:41:29.999
Love cannot fill the
thickened lung with breath,

00:41:30.000 --> 00:41:34.999
nor clean the blood, nor
mend the fractured bone;

00:41:35.000 --> 00:41:39.999
yet many a man is making friends
with death even as I speak,

00:41:40.000 --> 00:41:44.999
for lack of love alone.

00:41:45.000 --> 00:41:49.999
It well may be that in a difficult hour,

00:41:50.000 --> 00:41:54.999
pinned down by pain and
moaning for release,

00:41:55.000 --> 00:41:59.999
or nagged by want past resolution’s power,

00:42:00.000 --> 00:42:04.999
I might be tempted to
sell your love for peace,

00:42:05.000 --> 00:42:09.999
or trade the memory of this night for food.

00:42:10.000 --> 00:42:14.999
It well may be.

00:42:15.000 --> 00:42:19.999
[music]

00:42:20.000 --> 00:42:24.999
I do not think I would.

00:42:25.000 --> 00:42:33.000
[music]

00:42:40.000 --> 00:42:44.999
At 20, stooping round about, I
thought the world a miserable place,

00:42:45.000 --> 00:42:49.999
truth a trick, faith in doubt,
little beauty, less grace.

00:42:50.000 --> 00:42:54.999
Now at 60 what I see, although
the world is worse by far,

00:42:55.000 --> 00:42:59.999
stops my heart in ecstasy,

00:43:00.000 --> 00:43:04.999
God, The wonders that there are!

00:43:05.000 --> 00:43:09.999
It’s just beautiful to be in the world because this
is what I know I don’t know about other worlds.

00:43:10.000 --> 00:43:14.999
This is a miracle. Isn’t this wonderful.

00:43:15.000 --> 00:43:19.999
[music]

00:43:20.000 --> 00:43:24.999
I can’t even begin to guess what’s
behind all that except the hand of God,

00:43:25.000 --> 00:43:29.999
I do believe that. Look at those
tree… look at those tree.

00:43:30.000 --> 00:43:34.999
Look at that color pink. My God,
we’re… we are given so much.

00:43:35.000 --> 00:43:39.999
We are given so much in each other,

00:43:40.000 --> 00:43:44.999
in people’s faces I get so much, you know, I…
I just want to stop and look at everybody.

00:43:45.000 --> 00:43:49.999
[music]

00:43:50.000 --> 00:43:54.999
There’s some beautiful stuff out there, you know, and
if you are a painter I think you might understand

00:43:55.000 --> 00:43:59.999
it the reason for life and (inaudible)
anybody else. It’s a beautiful stuff,

00:44:00.000 --> 00:44:04.999
right as birds and fish and… and people.
And if you want to see as God

00:44:05.000 --> 00:44:09.999
and what an artist He is
and… and I’m just probably

00:44:10.000 --> 00:44:14.999
one of… one of his paintings
that’s all you know.

00:44:15.000 --> 00:44:19.999
My problem with words like joy, happiness
and so on, those are end results.

00:44:20.000 --> 00:44:24.999
You don’t start out them wanting to be
joyous, but if you smell a great flower

00:44:25.000 --> 00:44:29.999
or see a great bird and the result is not
joyous there’s something wrong with you.

00:44:30.000 --> 00:44:34.999
And you see a great person

00:44:35.000 --> 00:44:39.999
that you… that you admire or that you attracted
to, uh… if that doesn’t make you joyous,

00:44:40.000 --> 00:44:44.999
there’s something’s wrong with you, you know, but you don’t…
you don’t set out to see a great person or great bird

00:44:45.000 --> 00:44:49.999
and to be joy as you set
out to see that’s all.

00:44:50.000 --> 00:44:54.999
Trees impressed me by the way. Trees have
fought very hard to get up through these rocks.

00:44:55.000 --> 00:44:59.999
Uh… The older the tree
gets the grander it is.

00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:04.999
Not the less it is. I think all
life forms that is the process.

00:45:05.000 --> 00:45:09.999
And when I got to 40 and someone
said, ‘Well, you know (inaudible).

00:45:10.000 --> 00:45:14.999
I said what? (inaudible) I can see
the other side of the hill now that…

00:45:15.000 --> 00:45:19.999
that’s all it means. Not
that I’m going down here

00:45:20.000 --> 00:45:24.999
but I can see… I can see another horizon that… that’s all and 50 came
and I felt even better than 60 and 65. I… I can’t wait for 70 now.

00:45:25.000 --> 00:45:29.999
When you talk about aging, YOU talk about
chronological age and I know precisely

00:45:30.000 --> 00:45:34.999
where I am in that respect. On the other hand,
I feel younger than I have in many ways.

00:45:35.000 --> 00:45:39.999
I think my perception is much sharper
although through bifocals that’s okay.

00:45:40.000 --> 00:45:44.999
Fully hearing aid that’s okay,

00:45:45.000 --> 00:45:49.999
but my perceptions are much more purified,

00:45:50.000 --> 00:45:54.999
you could say purified of… of prejudice.

00:45:55.000 --> 00:45:59.999
I… I remember once my father saying to me

00:46:00.000 --> 00:46:04.999
when I said something, ‘It’s
(inaudible) what you’re saying,

00:46:05.000 --> 00:46:09.999
you dig… dig all your persons illusion
to it. And I said, ‘God damnit!

00:46:10.000 --> 00:46:14.999
That’s what we are here for.’ To
have your illusions taken away.

00:46:15.000 --> 00:46:19.999
Your… your fantasies and to see life

00:46:20.000 --> 00:46:24.999
in its immense richness
in its nudity as life.

00:46:25.000 --> 00:46:29.999
Now when you get older as old as I am now,

00:46:30.000 --> 00:46:34.999
then these illusions have
completely evaporated

00:46:35.000 --> 00:46:39.999
and what do you see,

00:46:40.000 --> 00:46:44.999
’Oh, I don’t think I’ve ever seen that yellow
tree there as I saw it a few days ago, ’

00:46:45.000 --> 00:46:49.999
the movement of that a little bit of
swaying of that gold against the reddish

00:46:50.000 --> 00:46:54.999
(inaudible) that is something that
obviously that (inaudible) you.

00:46:55.000 --> 00:46:59.999
I had very good friend of
ours and she died of cancer

00:47:00.000 --> 00:47:04.999
and then when (inaudible) her
last day she could just see the…

00:47:05.000 --> 00:47:09.999
the sky outside and she
pointed at a tree and say,

00:47:10.000 --> 00:47:14.999
’It still moves.’

00:47:15.000 --> 00:47:23.000
[sil.]

00:47:25.000 --> 00:47:29.999
I’ve had only one eye
for 27 nearly 30 years

00:47:30.000 --> 00:47:34.999
I lost this eye to cancer in 1969

00:47:35.000 --> 00:47:39.999
umm… and the other eye
has got cataracts in it

00:47:40.000 --> 00:47:44.999
and they don’t want to operate on it because
they say, ‘You have no backup quite right.’

00:47:45.000 --> 00:47:49.999
And they’re wise I think because I don’t want to risk going
blind. These are most beautiful dogwood in the back terrace

00:47:50.000 --> 00:47:54.999
and I just go out sometimes
and stare at it,

00:47:55.000 --> 00:47:59.999
try to imprinted on my mind.

00:48:00.000 --> 00:48:04.999
And since to look at things in bloom,

00:48:05.000 --> 00:48:09.999
50 springs are (inaudible)

00:48:10.000 --> 00:48:14.999
about the woodland I’ll go to
see the cherry hung the sky.

00:48:15.000 --> 00:48:19.999
Nature’s first green is gold,

00:48:20.000 --> 00:48:24.999
her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf’s a flower;

00:48:25.000 --> 00:48:29.999
But only so an hour. Then
leaf subsides to leaf.

00:48:30.000 --> 00:48:35.000
So Eden sank to grief, so dawn goes
down to day. Nothing gold can stay.

00:48:40.000 --> 00:48:44.999
The dawning of the notion that nothing lasts,
you know, that’s what I like about aging.

00:48:45.000 --> 00:48:49.999
That’s what I like about it.
When you’re aging

00:48:50.000 --> 00:48:54.999
and the body is falling apart
and your friends are dying

00:48:55.000 --> 00:48:59.999
and you look in the mirror and you, you know, you can’t
kick yourself about those wrinkles and those sagging,

00:49:00.000 --> 00:49:04.999
you know, jaw and the double chin and all
those things. It really dawns on you

00:49:05.000 --> 00:49:09.999
that the car is wearing out and that all the
cars in the lot and all of 1936 models.

00:49:10.000 --> 00:49:14.999
In my case, you know, are a little shaky

00:49:15.000 --> 00:49:19.999
go to open the door and the
handle falls off you know

00:49:20.000 --> 00:49:24.999
and there’s no way to turn
that around like the real…

00:49:25.000 --> 00:49:29.999
real knowing that there’s no
way to turn that around. Then,

00:49:30.000 --> 00:49:34.999
that’s a powerful moment where
you can either get terrified

00:49:35.000 --> 00:49:39.999
and switch into real hardness of
resistance, resentment, bitterness,

00:49:40.000 --> 00:49:44.999
depression all of that, but in that
very same moment instead of running

00:49:45.000 --> 00:49:49.999
or shutting down about what’s unknown
you go for it, you explore it,

00:49:50.000 --> 00:49:54.999
you open to it as best you can, you know,

00:49:55.000 --> 00:49:59.999
you accept it as true and it’s… it’s a kind
of freedom to just accept that is true,

00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:04.999
that you like weather and day
and night and the seasons

00:50:05.000 --> 00:50:09.999
and like everything is in a process of change and
that’s there’s nothing to be afraid of (inaudible).

00:50:10.000 --> 00:50:18.000
[music]

00:50:25.000 --> 00:50:29.999
I shall die,

00:50:30.000 --> 00:50:34.999
but that is all that I shall do for Death; I
hear him leading his horse out of the stall;

00:50:35.000 --> 00:50:39.999
I hear the clatter on the barn-floor.
He is in haste;

00:50:40.000 --> 00:50:44.999
he has business in Cuba, business in the
Balkans, many calls to make this morning.

00:50:45.000 --> 00:50:49.999
But I will not hold the bridle
while he clinches the girth.

00:50:50.000 --> 00:50:54.999
And he may mount by himself I will not give him a
leg up. Though he flick my shoulders with his whip,

00:50:55.000 --> 00:50:59.999
I will not tell him which way the fox ran.
With his hoof on my breast,

00:51:00.000 --> 00:51:04.999
I will not tell him where the
black boy hides in the swamp.

00:51:05.000 --> 00:51:09.999
I shall die, but that is all that I shall
do for Death; I am not on his pay-roll.

00:51:10.000 --> 00:51:14.999
I will not tell him the whereabouts of
my friends nor of my enemies either.

00:51:15.000 --> 00:51:19.999
Though he promise me much, I will not
map him the route to any man’s door.

00:51:20.000 --> 00:51:24.999
Am I a spy in the land of the living, that
I should deliver men to Death? Brother,

00:51:25.000 --> 00:51:29.999
the password and the plans of
our city are safe with me;

00:51:30.000 --> 00:51:35.000
never through me Shall you be overcome. I shall
die, but that is all that I shall do for Death.

00:51:40.000 --> 00:51:44.999
[sil.]

00:51:45.000 --> 00:51:49.999
What is it about death that we fear?

00:51:50.000 --> 00:51:54.999
My own training, you know, is I don’t really have any
beliefs about what death is. I haven’t got a clue.

00:51:55.000 --> 00:51:59.999
So from my point of view it’s
just totally unknown, you know.

00:52:00.000 --> 00:52:04.999
Uh… But you see from my point of
view so is the next out, you know,

00:52:05.000 --> 00:52:09.999
people get a lot of reassurance of near-death
experiences because they usually are very liberating.

00:52:10.000 --> 00:52:14.999
Uh… But then some Tibetan lamas will say,
‘Oh, no, it’s not really like that, ’

00:52:15.000 --> 00:52:19.999
they say uh… thus they haven’t really died.

00:52:20.000 --> 00:52:24.999
And then they’ll say,
you’re… after your death

00:52:25.000 --> 00:52:29.999
they’ll say that’s gonna be just like a continuation of
life and if you, you know, if you found life frightening

00:52:30.000 --> 00:52:34.999
when you’re alive then you’re
gonna find that when you die.

00:52:35.000 --> 00:52:39.999
All I know is its unknown I think
that’s why people are scared,

00:52:40.000 --> 00:52:44.999
but if you use your life that every and a
very out-breath, you know, is little death

00:52:45.000 --> 00:52:49.999
and lots of little fearful moments
or terror big fearful moment,

00:52:50.000 --> 00:52:54.999
if you just find all the moments
of death in everyday living

00:52:55.000 --> 00:52:59.999
and train in uh… going into them

00:53:00.000 --> 00:53:04.999
or softening not hardening or pushing away,

00:53:05.000 --> 00:53:09.999
you won’t be afraid of death because
it’s just more of the same.

00:53:10.000 --> 00:53:14.999
Because I’ve been ill allot,
a death is very real to me

00:53:15.000 --> 00:53:19.999
and I feel uh… Usually I feel
like if I were to die tonight

00:53:20.000 --> 00:53:24.999
I’m ready, but maybe

00:53:25.000 --> 00:53:29.999
I still don’t even know if I’m afraid.

00:53:30.000 --> 00:53:34.999
It’s not just a case of the frightened of
death I don’t think that worries me at all.

00:53:35.000 --> 00:53:39.999
Uh… I just I don’t dwell on that and I
have no well and what am I frightened off.

00:53:40.000 --> 00:53:44.999
I’m frightened that I
may turn to be a charge

00:53:45.000 --> 00:53:49.999
for somebody that they may
have to look after me.

00:53:50.000 --> 00:53:54.999
Umm… I know something about that.
I’m reduced in a way to babyhood.

00:53:55.000 --> 00:53:59.999
I was as all babies are helpless.
Uh… I am no longer helpless,

00:54:00.000 --> 00:54:04.999
but the way I’m going I feel
that I’m maybe getting there.

00:54:05.000 --> 00:54:09.999
Uh… I just find it maddening

00:54:10.000 --> 00:54:14.999
that I should have to go through this
and of course I have to go through it,

00:54:15.000 --> 00:54:19.999
we all have to go through it and we all
have to watch others go through it.

00:54:20.000 --> 00:54:24.999
Uh… But I don’t pretend
to enjoy it and I’m not…

00:54:25.000 --> 00:54:29.999
I’m not little merry sunshine when it…

00:54:30.000 --> 00:54:34.999
when it comes to the advantages of aging,

00:54:35.000 --> 00:54:39.999
umm… the change in one’s
philosophy for the better.

00:54:40.000 --> 00:54:44.999
I’m still impatient, and angry
and I want to get on with it,

00:54:45.000 --> 00:54:49.999
and I don’t want anything in my way,
thank you very much God dammit.

00:54:50.000 --> 00:54:54.999
That Randy old woman said, ‘Tickle
me up, I’ll be dead very so,

00:54:55.000 --> 00:54:59.999
nothing will touch me then,
but the clouds in the sky

00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:04.999
and the born white light of the moon touch
me before I go down among the bones

00:55:05.000 --> 00:55:09.999
my dear one alone I have I’m
told by doctors a heart problem

00:55:10.000 --> 00:55:14.999
I have I told by doctors a heart problem

00:55:15.000 --> 00:55:19.999
but I don’t do anything about it. I… I’m
living sort of dangerously on the edge

00:55:20.000 --> 00:55:24.999
because I say, ‘Oh, no, I’m fine. You know,
I’m working all the time and I feel good

00:55:25.000 --> 00:55:29.999
and I think I visualize, \"Why I have to go
to the hospital and sit in the waiting room

00:55:30.000 --> 00:55:34.999
and having the conferences, just haven’t
got time to do that. So I just avoid it.

00:55:35.000 --> 00:55:39.999
Uh… When I settled down, I’ll do it.

00:55:40.000 --> 00:55:44.999
[music]

00:55:45.000 --> 00:55:49.999
I’m not afraid of dying,

00:55:50.000 --> 00:55:54.999
but there is so much to do.
There is so much I want to do.

00:55:55.000 --> 00:55:59.999
There is so much I want to
see, so much I want to learn.

00:56:00.000 --> 00:56:04.999
And… and I just hope I can
keep on going a little longer.

00:56:05.000 --> 00:56:09.999
I think there’s some kind of intelligence

00:56:10.000 --> 00:56:14.999
that is unfolding.

00:56:15.000 --> 00:56:19.999
I believe in something and I
don’t know what I believe,

00:56:20.000 --> 00:56:24.999
but it has. It’s not
random, there is a purpose

00:56:25.000 --> 00:56:29.999
and I think if we work hard enough
we can get just a hint of what it is

00:56:30.000 --> 00:56:34.999
and a lot of it has to do with
love I think. When love happens,

00:56:35.000 --> 00:56:39.999
you can almost feel the
opening of the pores

00:56:40.000 --> 00:56:44.999
and the molecules and everything in
your body, it’s an absence of fear.

00:56:45.000 --> 00:56:49.999
It’s an absence of tension

00:56:50.000 --> 00:56:54.999
and it’s an absence of the desperate need
to control, to manipulate your own life

00:56:55.000 --> 00:56:59.999
someone else’s life.

00:57:00.000 --> 00:57:04.999
I think in every… particularly in every actor,
there’s a touch of the Tom Sawyer syndrome,

00:57:05.000 --> 00:57:09.999
which is that you really would
like to go to your own funeral

00:57:10.000 --> 00:57:14.999
and… and see them saying, ‘We have
lost a great and dear friend,

00:57:15.000 --> 00:57:19.999
a man of enormous gifts. A
world without me, yeah,

00:57:20.000 --> 00:57:24.999
it’s… it’s… it’s absurd, it can’t be.
It’s hard to say,

00:57:25.000 --> 00:57:29.999
I won’t be here, but I
believe obvious somewhere.

00:57:30.000 --> 00:57:34.999
Has anyone supposed it lucky to be born?

00:57:35.000 --> 00:57:39.999
I hasten to inform him or her
it is just as lucky to die,

00:57:40.000 --> 00:57:44.999
and I know it. I bequeath
myself to the dirt

00:57:45.000 --> 00:57:49.999
to grow from the grass I love, if you want
me again look for me under your boot-soles.

00:57:50.000 --> 00:57:54.999
You will hardly know who
I am or what I mean,

00:57:55.000 --> 00:57:59.999
but I shall be good health to you nevertheless,
and filter and fiber your blood.

00:58:00.000 --> 00:58:04.999
Failing to fetch me at first keep encouraged,
missing me one place search another,

00:58:05.000 --> 00:58:09.999
I stop somewhere waiting for you.

00:58:10.000 --> 00:58:14.999
I remember being at two gravesites,

00:58:15.000 --> 00:58:19.999
one was my great grandmother
and all I remember I was two.

00:58:20.000 --> 00:58:24.999
And I remember they put her in the hole

00:58:25.000 --> 00:58:29.999
and (inaudible) okay,
but then somebody got a

00:58:30.000 --> 00:58:34.999
(inaudible) instead of driving it into
the ground and I started screaming

00:58:35.000 --> 00:58:39.999
because I thought they were drive the stick
through it, you know, they were just marking,

00:58:40.000 --> 00:58:44.999
you know, for the gravestone,
but I… I didn’t know that

00:58:45.000 --> 00:58:49.999
and so I… I (inaudible) funeral from
that time on that in good one until

00:58:50.000 --> 00:58:54.999
umm… a producer of a friend of mine died and
(inaudible) and I came and he sang and I read a poem.

00:58:55.000 --> 00:58:59.999
And… and then my mother

00:59:00.000 --> 00:59:04.999
(inaudible) (inaudible).

00:59:05.000 --> 00:59:09.999
All I know is I know this because when
someone dies you gotta let them go

00:59:10.000 --> 00:59:14.999
because I think that this spirit and I do
believe the spirit energy is on a journey.

00:59:15.000 --> 00:59:19.999
I want to be let it go.

00:59:20.000 --> 00:59:24.999
Inch by inch along the
bed, growing more compact,

00:59:25.000 --> 00:59:29.999
his arms pulled up like bird’s
wings (My father is almost 90),

00:59:30.000 --> 00:59:34.999
I love you, I say over and over,
until I read in Time Magazine

00:59:35.000 --> 00:59:39.999
that saying this holds the dying back; they
get polite, they hang around to thank you.

00:59:40.000 --> 00:59:44.999
I love you, I say, Under my breath.

00:59:45.000 --> 00:59:49.999
In Bangkok you can buy a bird
in front of the temple for ¢20.

00:59:50.000 --> 00:59:54.999
It’s not to eat nor to
listen to nor to admire

00:59:55.000 --> 00:59:59.999
but to set free. Spring the door with your
plastic diner’s card, wait for the scrabble,

01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:04.999
the Head poked out the
door, air by your face,

01:00:05.000 --> 01:00:10.000
and up he goes.

01:00:15.000 --> 01:00:19.999
Because I could not stop for Death,

01:00:20.000 --> 01:00:24.999
he kindly stopped for me; the carriage held

01:00:25.000 --> 01:00:29.999
but just ourselves and Immortality.

01:00:30.000 --> 01:00:34.999
He slowly drove, he knew no haste,
and I had put away my labor,

01:00:35.000 --> 01:00:39.999
and my leisure too, for his civility.

01:00:40.000 --> 01:00:44.999
We passed the school where children
played at wrestling in a ring;

01:00:45.000 --> 01:00:49.999
we passed the fields of gazing
grain, we passed the setting sun.

01:00:50.000 --> 01:00:54.999
We paused before a house that
seemed a swelling of the ground;

01:00:55.000 --> 01:00:59.999
the roof was scarcely visible,
the cornice in the ground.

01:01:00.000 --> 01:01:04.999
She wrote that when she was quite young.
The carriage stops

01:01:05.000 --> 01:01:09.999
and she sees something like
a… a mound in the ground and…

01:01:10.000 --> 01:01:14.999
and it has no roof. The roof is the ground that’s
where I’m going to finish up right in the ground.

01:01:15.000 --> 01:01:19.999
When we die,

01:01:20.000 --> 01:01:24.999
when we give up the ghost, that’s it

01:01:25.000 --> 01:01:29.999
uh… but who knows because Sir James Barry

01:01:30.000 --> 01:01:34.999
whose work I always loved in and in Peter Pan
when the water is rising, Peter is on the rock

01:01:35.000 --> 01:01:39.999
and he… he suddenly realizes that
death might be coming for him,

01:01:40.000 --> 01:01:44.999
he says to die might be a great adventure

01:01:45.000 --> 01:01:50.000
and that’s what it might
be, we just don’t know.

01:01:55.000 --> 01:01:59.999
When death comes like the
hungry bear in autumn.

01:02:00.000 --> 01:02:04.999
When death comes and takes all the
bright coins from his purse to buy me,

01:02:05.000 --> 01:02:09.999
and snaps the purse shut. When
death comes like the measle-pox.

01:02:10.000 --> 01:02:14.999
When death comes like an iceberg
between the shoulder blades,

01:02:15.000 --> 01:02:19.999
I wanna step through the door full of curiosity, wondering
What is it going to be like, that cottage of darkness?

01:02:20.000 --> 01:02:24.999
And therefore I look upon everything

01:02:25.000 --> 01:02:29.999
as a brotherhood and a sisterhood, and I
look upon time as no more than an idea,

01:02:30.000 --> 01:02:34.999
and I consider eternity
as another possibility,

01:02:35.000 --> 01:02:39.999
and I think of each life as a
flower, as common as a field daisy,

01:02:40.000 --> 01:02:44.999
and as singular, and each name a
comfortable music in the mouth,

01:02:45.000 --> 01:02:49.999
tending, as all music does, toward silence,

01:02:50.000 --> 01:02:54.999
and each body a lion of courage, and
something precious to the earth.

01:02:55.000 --> 01:02:59.999
When it’s over, I want to say
all my life I was a bride

01:03:00.000 --> 01:03:04.999
married to amazement. I was the bridegroom,

01:03:05.000 --> 01:03:09.999
taking the world into my arms. When it’s
over, I don’t want to wonder if I have made

01:03:10.000 --> 01:03:14.999
of my life something particular, and real. I don’t
want to find myself sighing and frightened,

01:03:15.000 --> 01:03:19.999
or full of argument. I don’t
want to end up simply

01:03:20.000 --> 01:03:24.999
having visited this world.

01:03:25.000 --> 01:03:29.999
[music]

01:03:30.000 --> 01:03:34.999
Jenny kissed me when we met,
jumping from the chair she sat in;

01:03:35.000 --> 01:03:39.999
time, you thief, who love to
get sweets into your list,

01:03:40.000 --> 01:03:44.999
put that in Say I’m weary, say I’m sad,

01:03:45.000 --> 01:03:49.999
say that health and wealth have
missed me, say I’m growing old,

01:03:50.000 --> 01:03:54.999
but add, Jenny kissed me.

01:03:55.000 --> 01:04:03.000
[music]

01:04:15.000 --> 01:04:19.999
When I was one-and-twenty
I heard a wise man say,

01:04:20.000 --> 01:04:24.999
give crowns and pounds and
guineas but not your heart away;

01:04:25.000 --> 01:04:29.999
give pearls away and rubies
but keep your fancy free.

01:04:30.000 --> 01:04:34.999
But I was one-and-twenty, no use to
talk to me. When I was one-and-twenty

01:04:35.000 --> 01:04:39.999
I heard him say again, the heart out
of the bosom is never given in vain;

01:04:40.000 --> 01:04:44.999
which is paid with sighs a plenty

01:04:45.000 --> 01:04:49.999
and filled with endless rue.

01:04:50.000 --> 01:04:55.000
And I am two-and-twenty, and
oh, tis true, tis true.

01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:04.999
The Heart asks pleasure first,

01:05:05.000 --> 01:05:09.999
and then, excuse from pain; and
then, those little anodynes

01:05:10.000 --> 01:05:14.999
that deaden suffering; and
then, to go to sleep;

01:05:15.000 --> 01:05:19.999
and then, if it should be
the will of its Inquisitor,

01:05:20.000 --> 01:05:24.999
the liberty to die.

01:05:25.000 --> 01:05:29.999
Pain has an element of blank; it
cannot recollect when it began,

01:05:30.000 --> 01:05:34.999
or if there were a day when it was not.
It has no future but itself,

01:05:35.000 --> 01:05:39.999
its infinite realms contain its past,

01:05:40.000 --> 01:05:44.999
enlightened to perceive
new periods of pain.

01:05:45.000 --> 01:05:49.999
After great pain

01:05:50.000 --> 01:05:54.999
a formal feeling comes

01:05:55.000 --> 01:05:59.999
the nerves sit ceremonious like tombs;

01:06:00.000 --> 01:06:04.999
the stiff Heart questions,
was it He that bore?

01:06:05.000 --> 01:06:09.999
And yesterday or centuries before?

01:06:10.000 --> 01:06:14.999
The feet, mechanical, go round
a wooden way of ground,

01:06:15.000 --> 01:06:19.999
or air, or ought, a wooden
way regardless grown,

01:06:20.000 --> 01:06:24.999
A quartz contentment, like a stone.

01:06:25.000 --> 01:06:29.999
This is the hour of lead
remembered if outlived,

01:06:30.000 --> 01:06:34.999
as freezing persons recollect
the snow first chill,

01:06:35.000 --> 01:06:40.000
then stupor, then the letting go.

01:06:45.000 --> 01:06:49.999
When I have fears that I may cease to be

01:06:50.000 --> 01:06:54.999
before my pen has gleaned my teeming
brain, before high-pilèd books,

01:06:55.000 --> 01:06:59.999
in charactery, hold like rich
garners the full ripened grain.

01:07:00.000 --> 01:07:04.999
When I behold, upon the
night’s starred face,

01:07:05.000 --> 01:07:09.999
huge cloudy symbols of a high romance, and think
that I may never live to trace their shadows

01:07:10.000 --> 01:07:14.999
with the magic hand of chance. And
when I feel, fair creature of an hour,

01:07:15.000 --> 01:07:19.999
that I shall never look upon thee more,

01:07:20.000 --> 01:07:24.999
never have relish in the faery
power of unreflecting love,

01:07:25.000 --> 01:07:29.999
then on the shore of the
wide world I stand alone,

01:07:30.000 --> 01:07:35.000
and think till love and fame
to nothingness do sink.

01:07:40.000 --> 01:07:44.999
The art of losing isn’t hard to master;

01:07:45.000 --> 01:07:49.999
so many things seem filled
with the intent to be lost

01:07:50.000 --> 01:07:54.999
that their loss is no disaster.
Lose something every day.

01:07:55.000 --> 01:07:59.999
Accept the fluster of lost door
keys, the hour badly spent.

01:08:00.000 --> 01:08:04.999
The art of losing isn’t hard to master.

01:08:05.000 --> 01:08:09.999
Then practice losing farther,
losing faster places, and names,

01:08:10.000 --> 01:08:14.999
and where it was you meant to travel.
None of these will bring disaster.

01:08:15.000 --> 01:08:19.999
I lost my mother’s watch. And look! My last,
or next-to-last, of three loved houses went.

01:08:20.000 --> 01:08:24.999
The art of losing isn’t hard to master.

01:08:25.000 --> 01:08:29.999
I lost two cities, lovely ones.

01:08:30.000 --> 01:08:34.999
And, vaster, some realms I
owned, two rivers, a continent.

01:08:35.000 --> 01:08:39.999
I miss them, but it wasn’t a disaster.

01:08:40.000 --> 01:08:44.999
Even losing you (the joking voice,

01:08:45.000 --> 01:08:49.999
(a gesture I love) I shan’t have lied.

01:08:50.000 --> 01:08:54.999
It’s evident the art of
losing’s not too hard to master

01:08:55.000 --> 01:08:59.999
though it may look like (Write it!)

01:09:00.000 --> 01:09:05.000
like disaster.

01:09:10.000 --> 01:09:14.999
When you are old and grey and full
of sleep, and nodding by the fire,

01:09:15.000 --> 01:09:19.999
take down this book, and
slowly read, and dream

01:09:20.000 --> 01:09:24.999
of the soft look your eyes had
once, and of their shadows deep;

01:09:25.000 --> 01:09:29.999
How many loved your moments of glad grace,

01:09:30.000 --> 01:09:34.999
and loved your beauty
with love false or true,

01:09:35.000 --> 01:09:39.999
but one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,

01:09:40.000 --> 01:09:44.999
and loved the sorrows
of your changing face;

01:09:45.000 --> 01:09:49.999
and bending down beside the glowing bars,
murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled

01:09:50.000 --> 01:09:54.999
and paced upon the mountains overhead

01:09:55.000 --> 01:10:00.000
and hid his face amid a crowd of stars.