The R-Word
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- Reviews
- Citation
- Cataloging
- Transcript
Filmmaker Amanda Lukoff grew up advocating for her sister Gabrielle, especially whenever she heard the word ‘retard(ed),’ which was far too often. The disparaging word is everywhere — in TV, movies, music, social media, and throughout our public and private communities — perpetuating negative stereotypes and cultural bias.
THE R-WORD is a humanizing, purposeful, and deeply respectful look into the long-reaching history and lasting implications of derogatory language used to describe people with intellectual and developmental disabilities. Through captivating animation sequences, the personal narrative of four sibling stories, and the first-person accounts of self-advocates, we get an intimate and nuanced perspective of the challenges and triumphs of people living with an intellectual disability.
THE R-WORD is an unflinching, heartwarming, humorous, and hopeful journey through our shared human experience.
"Makes a difficult subject accessible to talk about in a way that's non-threatening, even entertaining, and it does so with its message firmly intact."
 Richard Propes The Independent Critic
"The R Word film interrogates a slur connected to intellectual disability that is still, sadly, in common usage in North America. With this nuanced look at the word, it shows American culture how to let go of this unnecessary word, while also educating its viewers about inclusive education and the federal law to remove the word from government language. This is also a film about the power of families, especially siblings, to lead the charge to change society to be more inclusive of people with intellectual disabilities."
 Beth Haller, Ph.D. author of Representing Disability in an Ableist World
"The R-Word is smart media criticism, showing how the language we use is inseparable from the world we build. Words matter, and this film shows why. It explains how the r-word is rooted in a shameful history of discrimination and eugenics, and how it continues to perpetuate that painful legacy even when used casually and thoughtlessly today."
 Bill Kirkpatrick Associate Professor of Media Studies, Department of Communication, Denison University 
"The R-Word's focus on the etymology of slurs gives the film a distinct and compelling perspective. Its exploration of the interweaving of language, culture, and prejudice is thoughtful and illuminating, and provides a valuable backdrop for the challenges and aspirations of the film's delightful characters."
 Jason Jakaitis Assistant Professor of Communication at St. Mary's College of California
Citation
Main credits
								Lukoff, Amanda (film director)
Lukoff, Amanda (screenwriter)
Lukoff, Amanda (film producer)
Egan, Daniel (film producer)
							
Other credits
Cinematographer, Zachary Halbert; editor, Daniel Egan; music, Audio Network.
Distributor subjects
DisabilitiesKeywords
WEBVTT
 
 00:00:07.778 --> 00:00:08.719
 (light music)
 
 00:00:12.628 --> 00:00:13.461
 (mower humming)
 
 00:00:16.178 --> 00:00:19.236
 (soft piano music)
 
 00:00:20.129 --> 00:00:20.962
 - We got all sticky.
 
 00:00:24.118 --> 00:00:27.593
 (soft piano music)
 
 00:00:29.244 --> 00:00:30.077
 (people talking)
 
 00:00:37.771 --> 00:00:39.387
 - Would you wanna live totally on your own
 
 00:00:39.387 --> 00:00:42.610
 or would you want a, like a roommate?
 
 00:00:42.610 --> 00:00:44.210
 - There\'s nothing quite like the bond
 
 00:00:44.210 --> 00:00:46.490
 between brothers and sisters.
 
 00:00:46.490 --> 00:00:48.050
 And in families like mine,
 
 00:00:48.050 --> 00:00:50.560
 when you have a sibling with
 an intellectual disability,
 
 00:00:50.560 --> 00:00:53.710
 that bond can take on additional meaning.
 
 00:00:53.710 --> 00:00:56.270
 - [Interviewer] So tell me,
 what it was like to grow up
 
 00:00:56.270 --> 00:00:58.093
 in a family with three sisters?
 
 00:00:59.850 --> 00:01:01.200
 - It was fun.
 
 00:01:01.200 --> 00:01:02.960
 We always have...
 
 00:01:02.960 --> 00:01:03.863
 We always laugh.
 
 00:01:05.710 --> 00:01:10.600
 We sometimes like to bicker a lot,
 
 00:01:10.600 --> 00:01:12.813
 except I grew out of that.
 
 00:01:13.928 --> 00:01:15.900
 I love my sisters.
 
 00:01:15.900 --> 00:01:17.560
 - I think until the age five,
 
 00:01:17.560 --> 00:01:21.290
 I don\'t think my triplet
 sisters and I were really aware
 
 00:01:21.290 --> 00:01:25.200
 of the fact that Gabrielle
 had Down Syndrome.
 
 00:01:25.200 --> 00:01:28.410
 When I was in first-grade
 we were asked to bring in
 
 00:01:28.410 --> 00:01:30.860
 an item for show and tell,
 and most of my friends
 
 00:01:30.860 --> 00:01:34.780
 brought in a Cabbage Patch
 doll, or a GI Joe figure.
 
 00:01:34.780 --> 00:01:38.133
 I brought in my sister Gabrielle.
 
 00:01:39.040 --> 00:01:41.190
 It\'s interesting because somehow,
 
 00:01:41.190 --> 00:01:44.970
 I knew at such an early
 age, at six years old,
 
 00:01:44.970 --> 00:01:49.970
 that I wanted to show
 my peers that Gabrielle
 
 00:01:50.120 --> 00:01:53.150
 was no different than any of them,
 
 00:01:53.150 --> 00:01:55.200
 and that there\'s nothing to be afraid of.
 
 00:02:19.300 --> 00:02:21.070
 Even though I\'ve always treated Gabrielle
 
 00:02:21.070 --> 00:02:22.930
 the same as everybody else,
 
 00:02:22.930 --> 00:02:25.780
 it\'s like the rest of the
 world is still catching up.
 
 00:02:25.780 --> 00:02:28.560
 Whenever I stop to think
 about this disconnect
 
 00:02:28.560 --> 00:02:30.683
 one word keeps popping in my head.
 
 00:02:31.630 --> 00:02:33.587
 So, growing up with a
 sister with Down Syndrome
 
 00:02:33.587 --> 00:02:37.210
 definitely made me,
 and my triplet sisters,
 
 00:02:37.210 --> 00:02:40.940
 that much more sensitive
 to specific language
 
 00:02:40.940 --> 00:02:45.253
 that surrounded people with
 intellectual disabilities.
 
 00:02:46.460 --> 00:02:50.993
 None more passionately than
 the word retard, or retarded.
 
 00:02:52.090 --> 00:02:55.620
 - How often do you hear the
 word retard or retarded?
 
 00:02:55.620 --> 00:02:59.361
 - I hear the word retarded pretty often.
 
 00:02:59.361 --> 00:03:01.566
 - Pretty often.
 - Pretty often.
 
 00:03:01.566 --> 00:03:03.548
 - Quite often where we\'re from
 - Yeah, I\'d say a lot. Yeah.
 
 00:03:03.548 --> 00:03:04.644
 - Pretty often.
 
 00:03:04.644 --> 00:03:05.980
 - I hear it quite often actually.
 
 00:03:05.980 --> 00:03:07.686
 - Far too often.
 
 00:03:07.686 --> 00:03:09.320
 - I don\'t know a couple times a week.
 
 00:03:09.320 --> 00:03:11.110
 - A few times a week.
 
 00:03:11.110 --> 00:03:14.540
 - I\'d say about four times
 a week, five times a week.
 
 00:03:14.540 --> 00:03:16.070
 - Probably, at least once a day.
 
 00:03:16.070 --> 00:03:19.820
 - Like daily, or probably
 a couple of times.
 
 00:03:19.820 --> 00:03:22.480
 - Maybe three times a day.
 
 00:03:22.480 --> 00:03:24.140
 - Probably 10 times a day.
 
 00:03:24.140 --> 00:03:25.830
 - I hear it all the time.
 
 00:03:25.830 --> 00:03:27.680
 - Since it appears as though other people
 
 00:03:27.680 --> 00:03:30.270
 are hearing the R word as often as I am,
 
 00:03:30.270 --> 00:03:32.500
 it led me to wonder how a word once used
 
 00:03:32.500 --> 00:03:35.480
 as a medical term became a derogatory word
 
 00:03:35.480 --> 00:03:37.330
 used to put people down.
 
 00:03:37.330 --> 00:03:40.910
 And could language, or more
 specifically, this one word
 
 00:03:40.910 --> 00:03:43.610
 be contributing to why
 people like my sister
 
 00:03:43.610 --> 00:03:45.853
 still seem to be so misunderstood?
 
 00:03:47.520 --> 00:03:50.240
 For most of human history
 society has struggled
 
 00:03:50.240 --> 00:03:52.110
 to understand people with intellectual
 
 00:03:52.110 --> 00:03:53.950
 and developmental disabilities.
 
 00:03:53.950 --> 00:03:55.440
 What made them the way they are?
 
 00:03:55.440 --> 00:03:56.710
 How do we treat them?
 
 00:03:56.710 --> 00:03:58.430
 What do we call them?
 
 00:03:58.430 --> 00:04:00.880
 A long time ago during
 the periods of antiquity
 
 00:04:00.880 --> 00:04:04.430
 in the middle and early modern
 ages, intelligence, beauty
 
 00:04:04.430 --> 00:04:07.480
 and strength were especially
 valued characteristics.
 
 00:04:07.480 --> 00:04:09.720
 So those individuals with disabilities
 
 00:04:09.720 --> 00:04:12.230
 were frequently cast off from society.
 
 00:04:12.230 --> 00:04:14.090
 Often living in extreme poverty,
 
 00:04:14.090 --> 00:04:16.030
 left to die, or even killed.
 
 00:04:16.030 --> 00:04:18.100
 Words like idiocy, idiot, and fool
 
 00:04:18.100 --> 00:04:22.260
 were used to express the inferior
 status of this population.
 
 00:04:22.260 --> 00:04:24.470
 As the world became more industrialized,
 
 00:04:24.470 --> 00:04:27.350
 the time period gave rise
 to the eugenics movement,
 
 00:04:27.350 --> 00:04:30.090
 a pseudo-science that endeavored
 to maintain the integrity
 
 00:04:30.090 --> 00:04:31.440
 of the human race.
 
 00:04:31.440 --> 00:04:34.050
 People with intellectual and
 developmental disabilities
 
 00:04:34.050 --> 00:04:37.100
 were seen as a threat to
 society and its gene pool.
 
 00:04:37.100 --> 00:04:39.770
 So, efforts were made to
 segregate them as inmates
 
 00:04:39.770 --> 00:04:42.430
 at institutions across the United States,
 
 00:04:42.430 --> 00:04:44.160
 restricted their right to marry,
 
 00:04:44.160 --> 00:04:47.290
 and enforced involuntary sterilization.
 
 00:04:47.290 --> 00:04:49.940
 These inhumane practices continued
 
 00:04:49.940 --> 00:04:53.120
 well into the latter
 part of the 20th century.
 
 00:04:53.120 --> 00:04:56.310
 The language associated with
 disability also changed.
 
 00:04:56.310 --> 00:04:58.110
 With the advent of IQ testing,
 
 00:04:58.110 --> 00:05:00.110
 individuals with intellectual disabilities
 
 00:05:00.110 --> 00:05:03.940
 were classified as idiots,
 imbeciles, or morons
 
 00:05:03.940 --> 00:05:06.293
 depending on their reported IQ score.
 
 00:05:07.520 --> 00:05:10.290
 Around the 1950s, mental retardation
 
 00:05:10.290 --> 00:05:13.329
 became the accepted medical
 and colloquial terminology
 
 00:05:13.329 --> 00:05:16.490
 as idiot, imbecile and
 moron took on the stigma
 
 00:05:16.490 --> 00:05:18.323
 associated with this community.
 
 00:05:19.340 --> 00:05:23.610
 Eventually the term mental
 retardation was also stigmatized,
 
 00:05:23.610 --> 00:05:26.220
 as it evolved into the
 popular slang put-downs
 
 00:05:26.220 --> 00:05:27.860
 retard and retarded.
 
 00:05:27.860 --> 00:05:30.900
 Which became commonplace epithets
 in American neighborhoods,
 
 00:05:30.900 --> 00:05:33.003
 schoolyards, and adult life.
 
 00:05:35.240 --> 00:05:38.780
 By the 1980s and 90s, the
 language shifted once more,
 
 00:05:38.780 --> 00:05:42.000
 as people started speaking
 up about moving away
 
 00:05:42.000 --> 00:05:44.700
 from the corrosive labeling of retarded.
 
 00:05:44.700 --> 00:05:47.580
 Inspired by the Americans
 with Disabilities Act,
 
 00:05:47.580 --> 00:05:50.850
 and later Rosa\'s Law, this
 movement sparked changes
 
 00:05:50.850 --> 00:05:53.023
 at both the local and national level.
 
 00:05:56.470 --> 00:05:59.810
 The term mental retardation
 was removed and ultimately
 
 00:05:59.810 --> 00:06:02.560
 replaced with intellectual
 and intellectual disability.
 
 00:06:03.540 --> 00:06:06.470
 So if the R word has been
 recognized as problematic,
 
 00:06:06.470 --> 00:06:09.350
 and subsequently replaced
 with a neutral term,
 
 00:06:09.350 --> 00:06:12.610
 why is the casual use
 of retard and retarded
 
 00:06:12.610 --> 00:06:13.970
 still alive and well?
 
 00:06:13.970 --> 00:06:16.360
 - What happened to people
 with intellectual disabilities
 
 00:06:16.360 --> 00:06:20.410
 was the word retard or retarded
 became an umbrella concept,
 
 00:06:20.410 --> 00:06:22.940
 and it came to mean
 something very specific.
 
 00:06:22.940 --> 00:06:26.160
 It came to mean somebody who was incapable
 
 00:06:26.160 --> 00:06:31.010
 of anything good, stupid,
 idiotic, incompetent,
 
 00:06:31.010 --> 00:06:35.603
 uncoordinated, sloppy, slow, unappealing.
 
 00:06:37.020 --> 00:06:40.820
 So, the word started to
 carry all that baggage,
 
 00:06:40.820 --> 00:06:44.848
 and instead of being a
 description of a way of learning,
 
 00:06:44.848 --> 00:06:47.590
 instead it came to mean all
 those other horrible things,
 
 00:06:47.590 --> 00:06:50.933
 and everything undesirable was
 attached back to the person
 
 00:06:50.933 --> 00:06:53.483
 with an intellectual or
 developmental difference.
 
 00:06:54.680 --> 00:06:59.550
 So the language became
 the carrier of the stigma.
 
 00:06:59.550 --> 00:07:02.830
 In effect, it became the
 extender of the stigma.
 
 00:07:02.830 --> 00:07:07.270
 - When words last it\'s because
 they continue to have a point
 
 00:07:07.270 --> 00:07:09.970
 or a purpose, and that
 includes derogatory language
 
 00:07:09.970 --> 00:07:11.050
 and taboo language.
 
 00:07:11.050 --> 00:07:13.520
 - What we want to do is
 identify certain members
 
 00:07:14.410 --> 00:07:16.230
 in the society as unworthy
 
 00:07:16.230 --> 00:07:18.680
 of whatever the society has to offer.
 
 00:07:18.680 --> 00:07:21.200
 It\'s like it\'s a bench on a bus,
 
 00:07:21.200 --> 00:07:23.630
 and the bench belongs to
 a certain group of people.
 
 00:07:23.630 --> 00:07:25.010
 Other people do not.
 
 00:07:25.010 --> 00:07:26.690
 How do we keep those people off the bench?
 
 00:07:26.690 --> 00:07:29.880
 We label them, and we label
 them in a way that is meant
 
 00:07:29.880 --> 00:07:33.810
 to make clear that their
 labeling is derogatory.
 
 00:07:33.810 --> 00:07:36.070
 That the people whom we are labeling
 
 00:07:36.070 --> 00:07:37.870
 are other with a capital O.
 
 00:07:37.870 --> 00:07:39.560
 They\'re not equals.
 
 00:07:39.560 --> 00:07:40.460
 And if you\'re not equal,
 
 00:07:40.460 --> 00:07:42.450
 then you\'re not entitled
 to fair treatment.
 
 00:07:42.450 --> 00:07:43.390
 - When we talk about the R word,
 
 00:07:43.390 --> 00:07:45.890
 a lot of times we talk
 about it being a word
 
 00:07:45.890 --> 00:07:49.895
 that communicates a stigma
 associated with a minority,
 
 00:07:49.895 --> 00:07:52.420
 with a subset of people.
 
 00:07:52.420 --> 00:07:55.750
 And there are certainly a lot
 of other words, not a lot,
 
 00:07:55.750 --> 00:07:58.380
 there are a number of other
 words that do similar things,
 
 00:07:58.380 --> 00:08:00.743
 we call them slurs, we call them epithets.
 
 00:08:01.950 --> 00:08:03.570
 When we say that we might think
 
 00:08:03.570 --> 00:08:05.660
 of something like the N word.
 
 00:08:05.660 --> 00:08:09.520
 - Those kinds of words, what
 they do is the perpetuate
 
 00:08:09.520 --> 00:08:13.080
 stereotypes in just a
 handful of syllables.
 
 00:08:13.080 --> 00:08:14.890
 That\'s what\'s so powerful about them.
 
 00:08:14.890 --> 00:08:16.820
 - The similarity between these words
 
 00:08:16.820 --> 00:08:18.720
 is that they\'re words that for generations
 
 00:08:18.720 --> 00:08:22.980
 have been used to degrade
 human beings of a certain kind,
 
 00:08:22.980 --> 00:08:25.320
 of a certain look, of
 a certain background,
 
 00:08:25.320 --> 00:08:26.570
 of a certain experience.
 
 00:08:26.570 --> 00:08:29.840
 - That value, that
 judgment, that dismissal
 
 00:08:29.840 --> 00:08:33.020
 of one\'s significance as
 a human being is there
 
 00:08:33.020 --> 00:08:37.600
 and is obviously present
 when retarded, and nigger,
 
 00:08:37.600 --> 00:08:42.600
 and gay are used in these
 intensely derogatory contexts.
 
 00:08:43.220 --> 00:08:44.730
 - The thing we found with the R word
 
 00:08:44.730 --> 00:08:49.730
 that really sets it apart
 is that no one realizes
 
 00:08:50.110 --> 00:08:51.850
 that it\'s causing that pain.
 
 00:08:51.850 --> 00:08:55.080
 People don\'t use the N
 word, people don\'t use
 
 00:08:55.080 --> 00:08:57.753
 the word faggot, people
 don\'t use the word kike,
 
 00:08:58.830 --> 00:09:00.530
 without knowing that it\'s causing pain.
 
 00:09:00.530 --> 00:09:03.370
 They do it very
 intentionally to cause pain.
 
 00:09:03.370 --> 00:09:05.123
 - In what context is it being used?
 
 00:09:06.000 --> 00:09:08.260
 - If someone says something
 
 00:09:08.260 --> 00:09:11.292
 that a friend considers silly or stupid.
 
 00:09:11.292 --> 00:09:13.890
 They\'ll say, oh you\'re so retarded.
 
 00:09:13.890 --> 00:09:16.050
 - A euphemism to say someone\'s crazy.
 
 00:09:16.050 --> 00:09:17.680
 You know, they acting crazy, acting dumb.
 
 00:09:17.680 --> 00:09:20.690
 - When people get into debates
 and someone gets offended,
 
 00:09:20.690 --> 00:09:23.280
 and you know they don\'t
 get their point across,
 
 00:09:23.280 --> 00:09:25.100
 and they think the other
 person is not listening.
 
 00:09:25.100 --> 00:09:26.633
 They, oh you\'re retarded.
 
 00:09:26.633 --> 00:09:29.390
 It\'s a form of disrespect.
 
 00:09:29.390 --> 00:09:31.603
 - Usually they use it kind of...
 
 00:09:31.603 --> 00:09:34.758
 I don\'t think it\'s the
 correct context for it,
 
 00:09:34.758 --> 00:09:38.043
 but they usually say it when
 they don\'t like something.
 
 00:09:38.043 --> 00:09:40.850
 Like they say, oh this is retarded.
 
 00:09:40.850 --> 00:09:44.000
 - Someone might see a
 piece of clothing apparel,
 
 00:09:44.000 --> 00:09:48.010
 and they might say wow
 those shoes are retarded,
 
 00:09:48.010 --> 00:09:50.060
 or those jeans are retarded,
 
 00:09:50.060 --> 00:09:53.230
 or that basketball move was retarded.
 
 00:09:53.230 --> 00:09:56.013
 - When you hear it what
 situations do you hear it in?
 
 00:09:56.013 --> 00:09:57.230
 - I hear it in the work place,
 
 00:09:57.230 --> 00:09:59.820
 I hear it among friends, in the community.
 
 00:09:59.820 --> 00:10:01.020
 - Kids on the train.
 
 00:10:01.020 --> 00:10:04.400
 - It goes around a lot
 through social media.
 
 00:10:04.400 --> 00:10:06.090
 - I\'m a teacher so you hear it at school.
 
 00:10:06.090 --> 00:10:09.422
 - In music.
 ♪ Let\'s get retarded in hah ♪
 
 00:10:09.422 --> 00:10:11.683
 ♪ Let\'s get retarded in here ♪
 
 00:10:11.683 --> 00:10:13.018
 ♪ And make her fall on her face ♪
 
 00:10:13.018 --> 00:10:14.609
 ♪ Don\'t be a retard, be a king ♪
 
 00:10:14.609 --> 00:10:16.217
 ♪ My DNA is Givenchy ♪
 
 00:10:16.217 --> 00:10:17.925
 ♪ What my swag is, retarded ♪
 
 00:10:17.925 --> 00:10:19.810
 ♪ What I\'m driving, Ferrari ♪
 
 00:10:19.810 --> 00:10:20.910
 - On television.
 
 00:10:20.910 --> 00:10:22.417
 - Sometimes TV.
 - On TV.
 
 00:10:22.417 --> 00:10:24.190
 - You\'re an MMA fighter?
 
 00:10:24.190 --> 00:10:25.500
 - MMA retired, yes.
 
 00:10:25.500 --> 00:10:26.490
 - Retarded?
 
 00:10:26.490 --> 00:10:27.837
 - Close.
 
 00:10:27.837 --> 00:10:29.170
 - You know, wearing a head scarf
 
 00:10:29.170 --> 00:10:31.050
 doesn\'t actually make you a terrorist.
 
 00:10:31.050 --> 00:10:34.659
 - But wearing pig tales at your
 age does make you retarded.
 
 00:10:34.659 --> 00:10:35.840
 - That\'s true.
 
 00:10:35.840 --> 00:10:38.913
 - You don\'t call retarded people retards.
 
 00:10:39.987 --> 00:10:41.670
 It\'s bad taste.
 
 00:10:41.670 --> 00:10:44.953
 You call your friends retards
 when they\'re acting retarded.
 
 00:10:44.953 --> 00:10:47.120
 - You know, I\'d give you a pretzel,
 
 00:10:47.120 --> 00:10:49.370
 but the walls have eyes
 and I\'m not retarded.
 
 00:10:50.312 --> 00:10:53.060
 - What if you replaced
 him with a fresh recruit?
 
 00:10:53.060 --> 00:10:55.730
 A saucy little retard named Scout?
 
 00:10:55.730 --> 00:10:57.580
 - He can\'t work at a hamburger stand.
 
 00:10:57.580 --> 00:10:59.293
 He can take anything but an order.
 
 00:11:01.720 --> 00:11:03.506
 - Did you fire your tweet monkey yet?
 
 00:11:03.506 --> 00:11:04.339
 - Yes.
 
 00:11:04.339 --> 00:11:06.427
 - Because that guy is
 a weapons grade retard.
 
 00:11:06.427 --> 00:11:07.260
 - I know.
 
 00:11:07.260 --> 00:11:10.280
 - I think you might\'ve been
 hoist by your own retard there.
 
 00:11:10.280 --> 00:11:11.491
 - That\'s a good one.
 
 00:11:11.491 --> 00:11:12.591
 Your own retard. Nice.
 
 00:11:13.646 --> 00:11:14.833
 - A pencil\'s fine, retard.
 
 00:11:14.833 --> 00:11:16.140
 Just something to write with.
 
 00:11:16.140 --> 00:11:17.420
 It doesn\'t matter.
 
 00:11:17.420 --> 00:11:18.430
 - Mostly movies.
 
 00:11:18.430 --> 00:11:19.840
 - Mainly movies.
 
 00:11:19.840 --> 00:11:21.174
 - Yeah movies, is definitely still one.
 
 00:11:21.174 --> 00:11:22.280
 - Movies for sure.
 
 00:11:22.280 --> 00:11:24.320
 - Remember that time we
 got kicked out of Biology
 
 00:11:24.320 --> 00:11:26.287
 for playing with Matchbox Cars?
 
 00:11:26.287 --> 00:11:27.120
 - Yeah.
 
 00:11:27.120 --> 00:11:28.261
 - Who\'s retarded now?
 
 00:11:28.261 --> 00:11:29.094
 - Yeah.
 
 00:11:29.094 --> 00:11:31.030
 - I didn\'t know they allowed
 retards into Shaffer.
 
 00:11:40.827 --> 00:11:42.280
 - I mean what if something
 like that happened?
 
 00:11:42.280 --> 00:11:43.980
 - Basically, you know,
 if the kid was retarded,
 
 00:11:43.980 --> 00:11:47.400
 I would drive it up to the country
 
 00:11:47.400 --> 00:11:49.150
 and just like open the door, and let it.
 
 00:11:49.150 --> 00:11:50.406
 You\'re free now.
 
 00:11:50.406 --> 00:11:51.239
 You know, like run free.
 
 00:11:51.239 --> 00:11:55.520
 - I\'ve been watching TV,
 movies that use the R word,
 
 00:12:02.650 --> 00:12:07.650
 and it makes me feel sad,
 upset, and even frustrated.
 
 00:12:09.240 --> 00:12:12.290
 - Sometimes they don\'t
 know who their audience is.
 
 00:12:12.290 --> 00:12:14.740
 They don\'t know if there
 are people with disabilities
 
 00:12:14.740 --> 00:12:17.053
 in the audience that are affected by it.
 
 00:12:17.053 --> 00:12:18.800
 - I\'ve got a 35-year old cousin.
 
 00:12:18.800 --> 00:12:20.430
 Her name is Tina.
 
 00:12:20.430 --> 00:12:23.280
 Tina\'s retarded, she\'s
 not slow, it\'s full blown.
 
 00:12:23.280 --> 00:12:25.117
 It is what it is. You know?
 
 00:12:25.117 --> 00:12:29.400
 - I\'ve been in Special Ed all my life.
 
 00:12:29.400 --> 00:12:31.750
 They have surrounded
 me around retarded kids
 
 00:12:31.750 --> 00:12:33.190
 all my life for nothing.
 
 00:12:33.190 --> 00:12:35.460
 - When we found out it
 was another retarded dude
 
 00:12:35.460 --> 00:12:36.293
 that gave her the STD.
 
 00:12:36.293 --> 00:12:38.110
 You know I didn\'t know
 retarded people had sex.
 
 00:12:38.110 --> 00:12:40.680
 I just don\'t see him having
 a lot of game that\'s all.
 
 00:12:40.680 --> 00:12:41.755
 They\'re both retarded.
 
 00:12:41.755 --> 00:12:43.180
 What did they talk about that led to sex?
 
 00:12:43.180 --> 00:12:45.960
 I just can\'t, in my mind I can\'t fathom
 
 00:12:45.960 --> 00:12:47.830
 what they said that led to the bedroom.
 
 00:12:47.830 --> 00:12:51.470
 - If I was retarded then,
 I\'d be retarded now, right?
 
 00:12:51.470 --> 00:12:54.074
 Do I look retarded to any of y\'all?
 
 00:12:54.074 --> 00:12:56.410
 - A lot of differences of
 opinion about how art and comedy
 
 00:12:56.410 --> 00:13:01.100
 use language, and I think
 there\'s a healthy debate
 
 00:13:01.100 --> 00:13:03.140
 about whether comedians
 ought to be using words
 
 00:13:03.140 --> 00:13:06.450
 like the R word, or the N
 word, or any other slur.
 
 00:13:06.450 --> 00:13:10.660
 - If we look at 12 Years A
 Slave, where they use the N word.
 
 00:13:10.660 --> 00:13:12.980
 They used it in a historical fashion,
 
 00:13:12.980 --> 00:13:16.550
 and when you leave the
 movie 12 Years A Slave
 
 00:13:16.550 --> 00:13:19.660
 you don\'t think it\'s
 okay to use the N word.
 
 00:13:19.660 --> 00:13:22.300
 But, if you look at the
 movie Tropic Thunder,
 
 00:13:22.300 --> 00:13:27.300
 there was no lesson that
 taught anyone about the R word.
 
 00:13:29.370 --> 00:13:32.230
 It was just used to mock
 people with disabilities.
 
 00:13:32.230 --> 00:13:34.380
 - Everybody knows you
 never go full retard.
 
 00:13:35.850 --> 00:13:37.020
 - What do you mean?
 
 00:13:37.020 --> 00:13:37.950
 - Check it out.
 
 00:13:37.950 --> 00:13:39.210
 Dustin Hoffman.
 
 00:13:39.210 --> 00:13:40.043
 Rain Man.
 
 00:13:40.043 --> 00:13:41.170
 Look retarded. Act retarded.
 
 00:13:41.170 --> 00:13:42.210
 Not retarded.
 
 00:13:42.210 --> 00:13:44.538
 Count tooth picks. Cheat at cards.
 
 00:13:44.538 --> 00:13:46.373
 Autistic sure. Not retarded.
 
 00:13:47.430 --> 00:13:49.130
 Tom Hanks, Forest Gump.
 
 00:13:49.130 --> 00:13:51.550
 Slow yes, retarded maybe,
 braces on his legs,
 
 00:13:51.550 --> 00:13:52.930
 but he charmed the pants off Nixon
 
 00:13:52.930 --> 00:13:54.560
 and won a ping pong competition.
 
 00:13:54.560 --> 00:13:55.393
 That ain\'t retarded.
 
 00:13:55.393 --> 00:13:57.450
 And he was a goddamn war hero.
 
 00:13:57.450 --> 00:13:59.173
 You know any retarded war heroes?
 
 00:14:01.550 --> 00:14:03.173
 You went full retard man.
 
 00:14:04.530 --> 00:14:06.420
 - When you came out of that movie,
 
 00:14:06.420 --> 00:14:10.290
 even though it was described
 by Ben Stiller as satire,
 
 00:14:10.290 --> 00:14:12.850
 when you came out and
 you\'re a 14 year old boy,
 
 00:14:12.850 --> 00:14:17.850
 you just think that the term
 full retard is just fun.
 
 00:14:18.150 --> 00:14:20.470
 - There were times when I was doing Jack,
 
 00:14:20.470 --> 00:14:23.080
 that I actually felt retarded.
 
 00:14:23.080 --> 00:14:24.778
 Like really retarded.
 
 00:14:24.778 --> 00:14:28.432
 I mean, I brushed my teeth
 retarded, I rode bus retarded.
 
 00:14:28.432 --> 00:14:29.265
 - Damn.
 
 00:14:29.265 --> 00:14:32.020
 - In a weird way I had to just
 sort of just free myself up
 
 00:14:32.020 --> 00:14:35.020
 to believe that it was
 okay to be stupid, or dumb.
 
 00:14:35.020 --> 00:14:36.460
 - To be a moron.
 
 00:14:36.460 --> 00:14:37.293
 - Yeah.
 
 00:14:37.293 --> 00:14:38.126
 - To be moronical.
 
 00:14:38.126 --> 00:14:39.620
 - Exactly to be a moron.
 
 00:14:39.620 --> 00:14:40.677
 - An imbecile.
 
 00:14:40.677 --> 00:14:41.930
 - The thing that was really challenging,
 
 00:14:41.930 --> 00:14:46.160
 and really problematic
 about Tropic Thunder
 
 00:14:46.160 --> 00:14:48.020
 was that almost every group of people,
 
 00:14:48.020 --> 00:14:51.200
 be it women, be it African
 Americans, be it Jews,
 
 00:14:51.200 --> 00:14:54.981
 be it Asian people, were
 asked, were focus grouped.
 
 00:14:54.981 --> 00:14:58.060
 Watched the film, tested
 the film in front of,
 
 00:14:58.060 --> 00:14:59.250
 got their feedback.
 
 00:14:59.250 --> 00:15:01.910
 The film was changed with them in mind,
 
 00:15:01.910 --> 00:15:04.720
 to see what would and would
 not work for the public.
 
 00:15:04.720 --> 00:15:05.553
 No one thought,
 
 00:15:05.553 --> 00:15:07.750
 no one behind that film
 for one second thought,
 
 00:15:07.750 --> 00:15:10.440
 maybe we should test the scene
 with a community of people
 
 00:15:10.440 --> 00:15:11.720
 with intellectual disabilities.
 
 00:15:11.720 --> 00:15:14.000
 Maybe we should ask these
 people and their loved ones,
 
 00:15:14.000 --> 00:15:17.370
 whether or not this scene
 might be problematic.
 
 00:15:17.370 --> 00:15:21.040
 - That was just indicative
 of the larger issue here.
 
 00:15:21.040 --> 00:15:23.330
 Which is that we use
 incredibly hurtful language
 
 00:15:23.330 --> 00:15:26.980
 in film all the time, and yet
 there\'s one group of people
 
 00:15:26.980 --> 00:15:29.690
 that gets consistently
 forgotten about and left out
 
 00:15:29.690 --> 00:15:32.270
 when it comes to how these
 words, how these scenes,
 
 00:15:32.270 --> 00:15:36.380
 how these portraiture\'s
 affect the communities
 
 00:15:36.380 --> 00:15:37.580
 that see these films.
 
 00:15:37.580 --> 00:15:39.770
 And always that community is the people
 
 00:15:39.770 --> 00:15:41.797
 with intellectual disabilities.
 
 00:15:41.797 --> 00:15:46.797
 - The word retard had become
 so part of the language
 
 00:15:50.780 --> 00:15:55.780
 of children and youth, that
 we needed to do something.
 
 00:15:56.610 --> 00:15:58.950
 We needed to understand it better.
 
 00:15:58.950 --> 00:16:03.950
 And that was the beginning
 of looking at the attitudes
 
 00:16:04.000 --> 00:16:07.480
 of our youth, our children, our adults.
 
 00:16:07.480 --> 00:16:08.940
 The perceptions that they have
 
 00:16:08.940 --> 00:16:11.190
 of people with intellectual disabilities,
 
 00:16:11.190 --> 00:16:15.720
 and trying to understand it
 within the larger framework
 
 00:16:15.720 --> 00:16:18.893
 of what people talk about that is stigma.
 
 00:16:20.240 --> 00:16:24.774
 - Recently we surveyed over 1,000 children
 
 00:16:24.774 --> 00:16:27.833
 from elementary to high school nationally.
 
 00:16:29.240 --> 00:16:34.240
 And we asked them have they
 ever heard the term retard
 
 00:16:35.520 --> 00:16:36.903
 used in their schools?
 
 00:16:38.590 --> 00:16:43.590
 We were not surprised, nine
 out of ten kids in schools
 
 00:16:45.610 --> 00:16:50.610
 today told us that their
 peers use the word retard.
 
 00:16:52.320 --> 00:16:55.563
 When we asked them have you
 ever used the term retard?
 
 00:16:56.410 --> 00:17:01.010
 Only two out of ten
 children admitted the use
 
 00:17:01.010 --> 00:17:02.143
 of the word retard.
 
 00:17:03.550 --> 00:17:07.601
 A more recent study involving over 3,000
 
 00:17:07.601 --> 00:17:12.210
 high school students around the country,
 
 00:17:12.210 --> 00:17:14.530
 we asked similar questions.
 
 00:17:14.530 --> 00:17:19.530
 But we asked a follow up question to
 
 00:17:20.550 --> 00:17:22.383
 have you heard the word retard?
 
 00:17:23.420 --> 00:17:27.410
 With what we thought was a
 direction we needed to take
 
 00:17:27.410 --> 00:17:30.230
 this research, which was,
 
 00:17:30.230 --> 00:17:33.560
 and what did you do when you heard it?
 
 00:17:33.560 --> 00:17:35.750
 There\'s a phrase we use
 in the field of bullying,
 
 00:17:35.750 --> 00:17:38.453
 an active bystander or
 a passive bystander.
 
 00:17:39.990 --> 00:17:44.380
 Not that many adolescents
 are active bystanders
 
 00:17:44.380 --> 00:17:47.900
 when they hear the R word
 used in their schools.
 
 00:17:47.900 --> 00:17:50.820
 - When our attitudes say
 that someone is different,
 
 00:17:50.820 --> 00:17:53.930
 say that someone is less
 than, less than human,
 
 00:17:53.930 --> 00:17:56.773
 the way we treat that person
 will shift dramatically.
 
 00:17:59.490 --> 00:18:02.170
 - With the R word still
 present in every day language
 
 00:18:02.170 --> 00:18:05.430
 and pop culture, the stigma
 associated with this word
 
 00:18:05.430 --> 00:18:07.870
 is likely having an impact on perceptions
 
 00:18:07.870 --> 00:18:10.240
 of people with intellectual disabilities.
 
 00:18:10.240 --> 00:18:13.510
 These attitudes imply they\'re
 not like the rest of us,
 
 00:18:13.510 --> 00:18:15.520
 but are people with
 intellectual disabilities
 
 00:18:15.520 --> 00:18:16.620
 really that different?
 
 00:18:21.638 --> 00:18:23.610
 I think people don\'t know
 
 00:18:23.610 --> 00:18:28.100
 that people with intellectual
 disabilities have jobs,
 
 00:18:28.100 --> 00:18:32.870
 or want to work, or want
 to be in relationships,
 
 00:18:32.870 --> 00:18:36.630
 and talk about and maybe even have sex.
 
 00:18:36.630 --> 00:18:39.593
 I think a lot of people don\'t know that.
 
 00:18:41.340 --> 00:18:46.340
 - I like someone who\'s romantic,
 and thinks about romance.
 
 00:18:47.530 --> 00:18:49.603
 Always says I love you.
 
 00:18:51.450 --> 00:18:54.053
 I want to look good and feel good.
 
 00:18:55.160 --> 00:18:56.750
 Not to be overweight.
 
 00:18:56.750 --> 00:18:58.863
 Trying to lose a lot of weight.
 
 00:19:00.550 --> 00:19:05.420
 Yes, I kind of made a big
 mistake of getting fired
 
 00:19:05.420 --> 00:19:08.213
 and bringing something in
 when I\'m not supposed to.
 
 00:19:11.435 --> 00:19:15.460
 I will admit that.
 - And what did you bring in?
 
 00:19:15.460 --> 00:19:16.953
 What was the mistake?
 
 00:19:18.250 --> 00:19:21.573
 - Drinking before work.
 
 00:19:25.740 --> 00:19:27.010
 - And what were you drinking?
 
 00:19:27.010 --> 00:19:28.253
 - A wine cooler.
 
 00:19:29.420 --> 00:19:31.960
 - People don\'t consider people
 
 00:19:31.960 --> 00:19:36.960
 with intellectual disabilities
 as having the same
 
 00:19:37.290 --> 00:19:40.410
 natural instincts as everybody else.
 
 00:19:40.410 --> 00:19:45.410
 - It just hurts me a lot when
 people look at me different,
 
 00:19:46.340 --> 00:19:51.340
 thinking I\'m not the same as my sisters.
 
 00:19:52.510 --> 00:19:57.510
 I want to be treated like everybody else.
 
 00:20:05.057 --> 00:20:07.160
 - Hey Rosa.
 - Hey Daddy.
 
 00:20:07.160 --> 00:20:09.073
 - How are you?
 - Good.
 
 00:20:09.073 --> 00:20:11.190
 We\'re almost there.
 
 00:20:11.190 --> 00:20:12.023
 - You\'re almost here?
 
 00:20:12.023 --> 00:20:13.400
 - Yeah.
 
 00:20:13.400 --> 00:20:16.480
 - Okay, I\'ll see you
 here at Maddie\'s party.
 
 00:20:16.480 --> 00:20:18.209
 - All right.
 - All right.
 
 00:20:18.209 --> 00:20:20.609
 Love you.
 - Love you too.
 
 00:20:20.609 --> 00:20:22.609
 - All right, bye.
 - Bye.
 
 00:20:34.491 --> 00:20:35.324
 - How was school today?
 
 00:20:35.324 --> 00:20:36.599
 - Easy.
 - It was good?
 
 00:20:36.599 --> 00:20:37.867
 You ready to do homework?
 
 00:20:37.867 --> 00:20:39.284
 - No.
 - No.
 
 00:20:39.284 --> 00:20:41.028
 - I don\'t have homework today.
 
 00:20:41.028 --> 00:20:41.861
 - You do?
 
 00:20:41.861 --> 00:20:42.694
 You don\'t have any?
 
 00:20:42.694 --> 00:20:44.830
 - Nope.
 - But you have a test tomorrow
 
 00:20:44.830 --> 00:20:46.780
 on your words remember?
 
 00:20:46.780 --> 00:20:48.970
 - My family and I always
 knew how smart Rosa was,
 
 00:20:48.970 --> 00:20:50.570
 and we never really considered the fact
 
 00:20:50.570 --> 00:20:52.990
 that she wouldn\'t be able
 to take all the same classes
 
 00:20:52.990 --> 00:20:54.080
 that we took growing up,
 
 00:20:54.080 --> 00:20:55.717
 and going through elementary
 school, middle school,
 
 00:20:55.717 --> 00:20:56.780
 and high school.
 
 00:20:56.780 --> 00:20:59.050
 - She receives special education services,
 
 00:20:59.050 --> 00:21:01.930
 but she\'s been in the
 General Ed environment
 
 00:21:01.930 --> 00:21:03.730
 since she started school.
 
 00:21:03.730 --> 00:21:06.920
 It was always really important for us
 
 00:21:06.920 --> 00:21:08.580
 that Rosa was included.
 
 00:21:08.580 --> 00:21:13.580
 And to be included means
 not just to be in a unified
 
 00:21:14.200 --> 00:21:17.980
 sports program, but it\'s
 a lot to do with school.
 
 00:21:17.980 --> 00:21:20.410
 It has a lot to do with teachers,
 
 00:21:20.410 --> 00:21:24.170
 and people having high
 expectations for her.
 
 00:21:24.170 --> 00:21:27.154
 Having the same expectations for her.
 
 00:21:27.154 --> 00:21:28.029
 - What do you like to do at school?
 
 00:21:28.029 --> 00:21:31.050
 - Well in school all they do is,
 
 00:21:31.050 --> 00:21:34.672
 teachers and students we help each other.
 
 00:21:34.672 --> 00:21:36.220
 - You help each other?
 - They help each other.
 
 00:21:36.220 --> 00:21:37.510
 - What\'s your favorite in
 subject in school though?
 
 00:21:37.510 --> 00:21:39.580
 - My favorite subject in school is...
 
 00:21:41.620 --> 00:21:42.453
 - Is what?
 
 00:21:42.453 --> 00:21:44.120
 - Math.
 - Math?
 
 00:21:44.120 --> 00:21:45.355
 - Mm-hmm.
 - What about social studies?
 
 00:21:45.355 --> 00:21:46.188
 Do you like social studies?
 
 00:21:46.188 --> 00:21:47.730
 - Yeah, I like social studies.
 
 00:21:47.730 --> 00:21:49.463
 - Can you tell me a
 property of a non-metal?
 
 00:21:52.635 --> 00:21:53.468
 - Gold.
 
 00:21:53.468 --> 00:21:54.610
 - Gold is a metal.
 
 00:21:54.610 --> 00:21:56.134
 So, think of opposite.
 
 00:21:56.134 --> 00:22:00.301
 What would be something
 that\'s opposite than gold?
 
 00:22:03.655 --> 00:22:04.720
 Something opposite.
 
 00:22:04.720 --> 00:22:05.743
 - It\'s hard.
 
 00:22:07.474 --> 00:22:09.190
 She struggles.
 
 00:22:09.190 --> 00:22:13.870
 I mean, she\'s grade-levels
 behind her non-disabled peers.
 
 00:22:13.870 --> 00:22:16.140
 - It might be hard for
 her to learn some stuff,
 
 00:22:16.140 --> 00:22:18.560
 but when she gets it she gets it.
 
 00:22:18.560 --> 00:22:21.795
 Like math, I know a couple
 weeks ago she was learning
 
 00:22:21.795 --> 00:22:23.910
 these equations, and they were hard.
 
 00:22:23.910 --> 00:22:25.850
 I couldn\'t even do them
 at first, but she...
 
 00:22:25.850 --> 00:22:29.810
 If you need a two-step equation
 done, Rosa\'s your girl.
 
 00:22:29.810 --> 00:22:31.840
 - Definitely if she likes
 it then she\'ll work hard,
 
 00:22:31.840 --> 00:22:32.683
 just like us.
 
 00:22:34.080 --> 00:22:35.895
 - Or maybe air, oxygen?
 
 00:22:35.895 --> 00:22:36.780
 Remember we talked about oxygen in here?
 
 00:22:36.780 --> 00:22:39.520
 What word might you
 use to describe oxygen?
 
 00:22:39.520 --> 00:22:40.980
 What\'s oxygen, do you remember?
 
 00:22:40.980 --> 00:22:42.663
 Is oxygen a solid, liquid or gas?
 
 00:22:43.575 --> 00:22:45.070
 - A gas.
 
 00:22:45.070 --> 00:22:45.903
 - Excellent.
 
 00:22:45.903 --> 00:22:46.736
 Want to type in gas?
 
 00:22:46.736 --> 00:22:47.883
 So hit that letter.
 
 00:22:49.620 --> 00:22:51.950
 Yep, then we\'re going to hit this one.
 
 00:22:51.950 --> 00:22:56.330
 - She benefits from being in
 that inclusive environment.
 
 00:22:56.330 --> 00:22:59.160
 She learns a lot from
 her non-disabled peers.
 
 00:22:59.160 --> 00:23:00.759
 - It\'s definitely malleable. Right?
 
 00:23:00.759 --> 00:23:02.573
 - It\'s malleable.
 
 00:23:02.573 --> 00:23:04.705
 - Yeah. I don\'t know if it\'s brittle,
 
 00:23:04.705 --> 00:23:07.455
 because you really can\'t break it.
 
 00:23:07.455 --> 00:23:08.556
 - All right, make a decision.
 
 00:23:08.556 --> 00:23:10.090
 - All right, let\'s just
 say it\'s malleable for now.
 
 00:23:10.090 --> 00:23:10.923
 - Yeah.
 
 00:23:13.430 --> 00:23:18.200
 - I think that a lot of kids
 need to be around people
 
 00:23:18.200 --> 00:23:20.310
 with disabilities at a really young age,
 
 00:23:20.310 --> 00:23:23.230
 because that\'s the only way
 that they\'re going to feel
 
 00:23:23.230 --> 00:23:27.350
 comfortable enough to
 end up working alongside
 
 00:23:27.350 --> 00:23:28.310
 people with disabilities,
 
 00:23:28.310 --> 00:23:30.693
 and living next to
 people with disabilities.
 
 00:23:32.288 --> 00:23:33.291
 - See you Rosa.
 
 00:23:33.291 --> 00:23:34.541
 - See you Jake.
 
 00:23:41.131 --> 00:23:42.548
 - Cayden. Cayden.
 
 00:23:49.509 --> 00:23:50.342
 Hi Buddy.
 
 00:23:53.167 --> 00:23:54.928
 You ready to get up?
 
 00:23:54.928 --> 00:23:57.011
 You ready to get up? Huh?
 
 00:24:00.511 --> 00:24:01.428
 Stretching.
 
 00:24:05.690 --> 00:24:06.523
 You ready?
 
 00:24:08.709 --> 00:24:10.350
 Cayden\'s condition, he was diagnosed
 
 00:24:10.350 --> 00:24:12.910
 with spastic cerebral palsy.
 
 00:24:12.910 --> 00:24:17.120
 It\'s where his muscles
 are abnormally tight.
 
 00:24:17.120 --> 00:24:19.540
 And we had people telling
 us that, you know,
 
 00:24:19.540 --> 00:24:22.590
 maybe we should think
 about options for Cayden,
 
 00:24:22.590 --> 00:24:25.030
 as far as placing him in maybe a home
 
 00:24:25.030 --> 00:24:27.280
 where he could get better care.
 
 00:24:27.280 --> 00:24:30.900
 And I mean, it just
 wasn\'t an option for us.
 
 00:24:30.900 --> 00:24:34.120
 Our options were, you
 know, this is our child
 
 00:24:34.120 --> 00:24:36.740
 and we are going to do
 the best that we can.
 
 00:24:36.740 --> 00:24:39.000
 I mean, it gets very hard, very hard,
 
 00:24:39.000 --> 00:24:44.000
 but I just don\'t feel like I
 want to just give up on Cayden.
 
 00:24:44.120 --> 00:24:45.607
 - Okay there you go.
 
 00:24:47.368 --> 00:24:48.785
 Okay. What? What?
 
 00:24:52.890 --> 00:24:53.743
 Oh, my hair.
 
 00:24:54.672 --> 00:24:56.360
 Okay. Hold on. I\'m going to fix yours too.
 
 00:24:56.360 --> 00:24:57.620
 Ready? Let\'s go.
 
 00:24:57.620 --> 00:24:58.453
 Come on.
 
 00:24:59.333 --> 00:25:00.750
 Let\'s go in here.
 
 00:25:02.960 --> 00:25:04.890
 No don\'t pull my hair.
 
 00:25:04.890 --> 00:25:05.840
 Don\'t pull my hair.
 
 00:25:08.560 --> 00:25:09.423
 Sit right here.
 
 00:25:10.432 --> 00:25:12.186
 I\'m going to get your
 socks and your hair done.
 
 00:25:12.186 --> 00:25:13.127
 Okay?
 
 00:25:13.127 --> 00:25:14.730
 It\'s not the physical disability.
 
 00:25:14.730 --> 00:25:19.100
 I think I see Cayden struggle
 more on communication.
 
 00:25:19.100 --> 00:25:22.740
 I see a little boy that is trapped inside,
 
 00:25:22.740 --> 00:25:25.647
 and has so much more to say
 to this world than he can.
 
 00:25:25.647 --> 00:25:26.690
 Put it in your mouth.
 
 00:25:26.690 --> 00:25:27.697
 Don\'t take it out.
 
 00:25:34.100 --> 00:25:36.263
 Okay, I\'ll fix you something to drink.
 
 00:25:42.487 --> 00:25:44.243
 What? Your leg hurt?
 
 00:25:45.346 --> 00:25:46.179
 Does your knee hurt?
 
 00:25:46.179 --> 00:25:49.290
 - I would describe it as if
 you put a lot of duct tape
 
 00:25:49.290 --> 00:25:53.780
 over your mouth, where
 you could only like...
 
 00:25:53.780 --> 00:25:56.237
 You can\'t really talk
 it just sounds like a...
 
 00:25:57.130 --> 00:25:58.270
 like a very faint mumble.
 
 00:25:58.270 --> 00:26:00.430
 Like mm, like all that.
 
 00:26:00.430 --> 00:26:02.900
 And if you broke your legs
 and you couldn\'t walk,
 
 00:26:02.900 --> 00:26:05.322
 well that\'s kind of how it is.
 
 00:26:05.322 --> 00:26:07.572
 It would be very
 frustrating for some people.
 
 00:26:14.664 --> 00:26:15.710
 - What? Me?
 
 00:26:15.710 --> 00:26:16.910
 You want me to sit down?
 
 00:26:20.790 --> 00:26:25.130
 - He\'s trying to be
 independent, and when he\'s faced
 
 00:26:25.130 --> 00:26:27.640
 with something that\'s really
 hard on him, and he can\'t do,
 
 00:26:27.640 --> 00:26:29.448
 it really makes him mad.
 
 00:26:29.448 --> 00:26:30.663
 And he might bang the floor.
 
 00:26:40.930 --> 00:26:42.143
 - Hold on, hold on.
 
 00:26:43.107 --> 00:26:44.607
 - Do you get frustrated a lot?
 
 00:26:45.540 --> 00:26:47.250
 - He\'s getting more mature,
 
 00:26:47.250 --> 00:26:50.390
 but with every good thing, I guess,
 
 00:26:50.390 --> 00:26:51.730
 there has to be a bad thing.
 
 00:26:51.730 --> 00:26:54.240
 And with him being more mature,
 
 00:26:54.240 --> 00:26:57.410
 I guess the more things that he knows,
 
 00:26:57.410 --> 00:26:59.410
 the more things that he can\'t express,
 
 00:26:59.410 --> 00:27:01.760
 and that\'s how he gets frustrated.
 
 00:27:01.760 --> 00:27:03.263
 - You\'re hitting me.
 
 00:27:03.263 --> 00:27:05.110
 Come on. Hold your hamster.
 
 00:27:05.110 --> 00:27:07.093
 Here we go. Ready?
 
 00:27:08.559 --> 00:27:11.090
 (inaudible) Cayden.
 
 00:27:11.090 --> 00:27:12.020
 Let\'s do this.
 
 00:27:13.006 --> 00:27:15.150
 - I would\'ve got him.
 
 00:27:15.150 --> 00:27:16.490
 - I got him.
 
 00:27:16.490 --> 00:27:17.800
 Here we go.
 
 00:27:17.800 --> 00:27:20.850
 - I learned how to treat
 Cayden no different
 
 00:27:20.850 --> 00:27:25.000
 than anybody else, because my mom and dad
 
 00:27:25.000 --> 00:27:29.453
 never treated him any
 different than Cooper or me.
 
 00:27:35.102 --> 00:27:36.745
 - That was Cayden.
 
 00:27:36.745 --> 00:27:37.702
 - No, it wasn\'t.
 
 00:27:37.702 --> 00:27:38.886
 - Why do you blame it on Cayden?
 
 00:27:38.886 --> 00:27:40.230
 - Because it is.
 
 00:27:40.230 --> 00:27:42.810
 - I have so learned the
 meaning of not to judge
 
 00:27:42.810 --> 00:27:46.500
 a book by its cover, because I have a son
 
 00:27:46.500 --> 00:27:51.500
 that if you look at him you
 would automatically think
 
 00:27:51.640 --> 00:27:55.350
 he doesn\'t feel, he doesn\'t have emotions,
 
 00:27:55.350 --> 00:28:00.307
 that he\'s not smart, that he
 doesn\'t care about things.
 
 00:28:00.307 --> 00:28:04.380
 But he\'s the total opposite
 if you get to know him.
 
 00:28:04.380 --> 00:28:07.930
 When you get to know him, you
 understand he has feelings,
 
 00:28:07.930 --> 00:28:09.100
 because I know he does.
 
 00:28:09.100 --> 00:28:13.180
 Because if I\'m upset, or his
 brothers are hurt or crying,
 
 00:28:13.180 --> 00:28:14.410
 Cayden does not like that.
 
 00:28:14.410 --> 00:28:15.270
 He cries.
 
 00:28:15.270 --> 00:28:16.670
 He gets mad.
 
 00:28:16.670 --> 00:28:18.740
 So, you tell me he doesn\'t have feelings,
 
 00:28:18.740 --> 00:28:20.460
 and I can show you different.
 
 00:28:20.460 --> 00:28:21.383
 He does.
 
 00:28:23.520 --> 00:28:25.053
 Okay, I\'m going to get it.
 
 00:28:26.030 --> 00:28:28.203
 Mama. Mama.
 
 00:28:36.183 --> 00:28:37.930
 - I think some of the
 challenges that Jason\'s facing
 
 00:28:37.930 --> 00:28:40.060
 right now at the age of 25,
 
 00:28:40.060 --> 00:28:43.260
 he has a definite desire
 to live independently.
 
 00:28:43.260 --> 00:28:46.030
 Any 25-year-old boy is pretty much over
 
 00:28:46.030 --> 00:28:48.370
 being at his parent\'s
 house, and that\'s something
 
 00:28:48.370 --> 00:28:50.760
 that he\'s really trying
 to figure out on his own.
 
 00:28:50.760 --> 00:28:53.090
 - His most perplexing issue right now,
 
 00:28:53.090 --> 00:28:55.510
 and I think maybe it\'s
 an issue everybody faces,
 
 00:28:55.510 --> 00:28:57.450
 is he\'s trying to figure out,
 
 00:28:57.450 --> 00:28:59.950
 I\'m in a relationship
 so what does that mean?
 
 00:28:59.950 --> 00:29:01.520
 How do I be a good boyfriend?
 
 00:29:01.520 --> 00:29:03.160
 They get together and he\'ll say,
 
 00:29:03.160 --> 00:29:04.640
 well she wants to go do this,
 
 00:29:04.640 --> 00:29:06.400
 but I really don\'t want to go do this,
 
 00:29:06.400 --> 00:29:08.350
 but I want to be the perfect boyfriend.
 
 00:29:08.350 --> 00:29:12.772
 So maybe I should go and do
 this just because she wants to.
 
 00:29:12.772 --> 00:29:15.439
 - Four, five, six, seven, eight.
 
 00:29:18.915 --> 00:29:21.832
 Dance with me, step, dance with me.
 
 00:29:26.035 --> 00:29:29.720
 - We do music. We dance.
 
 00:29:29.720 --> 00:29:33.253
 We play games, but not really
 my games, but her games.
 
 00:29:34.660 --> 00:29:36.333
 We watch movies on the couch.
 
 00:29:42.030 --> 00:29:45.410
 And we just stay there and
 do 30 seconds of something,
 
 00:29:45.410 --> 00:29:48.033
 but I don\'t want to use the term,
 
 00:29:48.033 --> 00:29:50.510
 because it\'s just between
 me and Alana, you know?
 
 00:29:54.431 --> 00:29:57.348
 We met in Dallas, Camp PALS Dallas.
 
 00:29:59.989 --> 00:30:03.009
 - Thank you.
 - You\'re welcome my lady.
 
 00:30:03.009 --> 00:30:03.842
 Cheers.
 
 00:30:04.870 --> 00:30:06.203
 For you my lady.
 
 00:30:08.910 --> 00:30:10.610
 - I gave her a ring for Christmas,
 
 00:30:10.610 --> 00:30:11.830
 but I\'m not even going to propose.
 
 00:30:11.830 --> 00:30:13.030
 That\'s my greatest fear.
 
 00:30:16.204 --> 00:30:17.037
 - Why?
 
 00:30:17.037 --> 00:30:20.010
 - Because I gave her
 the ring for Christmas
 
 00:30:20.010 --> 00:30:24.966
 doesn\'t mean I\'m on
 the knee, or proposing.
 
 00:30:24.966 --> 00:30:26.090
 - Are you too young for marriage?
 
 00:30:26.090 --> 00:30:28.560
 - Yes, I\'m too young for that.
 
 00:30:28.560 --> 00:30:31.643
 Well actually, Alana is,
 but not directly for me.
 
 00:30:32.510 --> 00:30:33.770
 - You think Alana is
 too young for marriage?
 
 00:30:33.770 --> 00:30:34.603
 - Yeah.
 
 00:30:34.603 --> 00:30:36.220
 - Do you ever want to get married?
 
 00:30:36.220 --> 00:30:40.570
 - If I want to get married
 it needs to be more like,
 
 00:30:40.570 --> 00:30:43.570
 she needs to be not exactly my age.
 
 00:30:43.570 --> 00:30:46.230
 More like Jenni\'s age by the way, like 27.
 
 00:30:46.230 --> 00:30:47.350
 - That\'s a good age to get married?
 
 00:30:47.350 --> 00:30:48.183
 - Yeah.
 
 00:30:50.200 --> 00:30:52.020
 - I would sing to her
 
 00:30:52.948 --> 00:30:57.871
 ♪ I cross my heart and I promise to ♪
 
 00:30:57.871 --> 00:31:02.871
 ♪ Give all I got to give to
 make all your dreams come true ♪
 
 00:31:03.610 --> 00:31:08.610
 ♪ In all the world, you\'ll never find ♪
 
 00:31:08.947 --> 00:31:12.364
 ♪ A love as true as mine ♪
 
 00:31:33.006 --> 00:31:33.908
 - I\'m going to get on your red bike.
 
 00:31:33.908 --> 00:31:34.906
 - Okay.
 
 00:31:34.906 --> 00:31:37.656
 My red bike is better, I ride on.
 
 00:31:40.143 --> 00:31:43.340
 - I don\'t really get to do
 a lot of things with Cayden,
 
 00:31:43.340 --> 00:31:45.497
 so I like doing triathlons with him.
 
 00:31:45.497 --> 00:31:48.366
 Do you like to race Cayden?
 
 00:31:48.366 --> 00:31:49.770
 - Yes.
 
 00:31:49.770 --> 00:31:50.833
 - Racing is loud?
 
 00:31:51.751 --> 00:31:53.387
 What\'s your favorite part?
 
 00:31:53.387 --> 00:31:54.220
 - What is your favorite?
 
 00:31:54.220 --> 00:31:55.810
 Biking?
 
 00:31:55.810 --> 00:31:57.180
 Running?
 
 00:31:57.180 --> 00:31:58.013
 Swimming?
 
 00:32:06.620 --> 00:32:11.070
 Mom gets these magazines and
 I saw one of the triathlons,
 
 00:32:11.070 --> 00:32:13.600
 and I thought that it looked fun,
 
 00:32:13.600 --> 00:32:15.520
 and I thought that I
 could do it with Cayden.
 
 00:32:15.520 --> 00:32:18.690
 Because, I mean you can
 basically put a trailer
 
 00:32:18.690 --> 00:32:19.890
 on the back of anything.
 
 00:32:20.780 --> 00:32:24.170
 So, you could probably put a
 trailer on the back of a bike,
 
 00:32:24.170 --> 00:32:28.520
 and I just asked Mom if I
 could do it with Cayden.
 
 00:32:28.520 --> 00:32:30.220
 - As a mom I just rolled with it,
 
 00:32:30.220 --> 00:32:33.390
 and was like okay let\'s
 try to figure it out.
 
 00:32:33.390 --> 00:32:34.580
 I can\'t promise anything.
 
 00:32:34.580 --> 00:32:36.600
 I\'m going to have to talk to race people,
 
 00:32:36.600 --> 00:32:38.980
 talk to your dad, and everything.
 
 00:32:38.980 --> 00:32:40.510
 - When I first learned
 about the triathlon,
 
 00:32:40.510 --> 00:32:42.510
 I didn\'t even know what a triathlon was.
 
 00:32:44.630 --> 00:32:46.950
 Of course, we looked into it,
 and we thought that\'s cool
 
 00:32:46.950 --> 00:32:48.470
 that he wants to involve his brother.
 
 00:32:48.470 --> 00:32:52.033
 That shows where his
 heart\'s at, and he cares.
 
 00:32:54.021 --> 00:32:55.540
 I was really nervous.
 
 00:32:55.540 --> 00:32:56.680
 The first one we ever did,
 
 00:32:56.680 --> 00:32:58.650
 you know we\'re standing in this line,
 
 00:32:58.650 --> 00:33:01.183
 and there\'s people everywhere.
 
 00:33:01.183 --> 00:33:02.780
 Raising a kid with special needs,
 
 00:33:02.780 --> 00:33:03.750
 he\'s already in a wheelchair,
 
 00:33:03.750 --> 00:33:06.120
 and when you get into a
 crowd of people like that,
 
 00:33:06.120 --> 00:33:08.810
 that\'s physically hard on you.
 
 00:33:08.810 --> 00:33:12.000
 - The feelings that we
 went through on the day
 
 00:33:12.000 --> 00:33:14.790
 of the first triathlon was scary,
 
 00:33:14.790 --> 00:33:17.780
 just because we did
 think what\'s the reaction
 
 00:33:17.780 --> 00:33:18.850
 of the crowd going to be?
 
 00:33:18.850 --> 00:33:20.460
 Is Cayden going to be scared?
 
 00:33:20.460 --> 00:33:21.510
 Is he going to be nervous?
 
 00:33:21.510 --> 00:33:22.700
 Is he going to like this?
 
 00:33:22.700 --> 00:33:25.733
 Is Conner going to like this?
 
 00:33:31.129 --> 00:33:32.795
 - He\'s having a hard time.
 - He\'s got it.
 
 00:33:32.795 --> 00:33:33.628
 He\'s got it.
 
 00:33:33.628 --> 00:33:35.800
 - It was something that
 I haven\'t done before,
 
 00:33:35.800 --> 00:33:36.837
 so I felt nervous,
 
 00:33:36.837 --> 00:33:39.843
 and I probably would\'ve even
 felt nervous without Cayden.
 
 00:33:44.583 --> 00:33:47.490
 Cayden, he was having a lot of fun,
 
 00:33:47.490 --> 00:33:51.140
 but I was just worried about
 not being able to finish,
 
 00:33:51.140 --> 00:33:54.020
 because I hadn\'t trained
 at all for the race.
 
 00:33:54.020 --> 00:33:57.080
 Because as soon as we saw it in the ad,
 
 00:33:57.080 --> 00:34:00.530
 it was like two weeks away,
 and it took us that long
 
 00:34:00.530 --> 00:34:02.505
 just to get all the equipment.
 
 00:34:02.505 --> 00:34:04.921
 - You got it Conner.
 
 00:34:04.921 --> 00:34:05.825
 Yes, Conner you did it.
 
 00:34:05.825 --> 00:34:06.822
 - Good job.
 
 00:34:06.822 --> 00:34:07.836
 - All right Conner.
 
 00:34:07.836 --> 00:34:08.844
 - Good job Conner.
 
 00:34:08.844 --> 00:34:10.724
 Good job Conner and Cayden.
 
 00:34:10.724 --> 00:34:12.818
 - Hey Conner, you\'re going to
 have to stop up here. Okay?
 
 00:34:13.820 --> 00:34:16.130
 - It felt really good to finish,
 
 00:34:16.130 --> 00:34:19.523
 because it just feels good
 when you accomplish something.
 
 00:34:21.970 --> 00:34:24.850
 - That first race that they had together,
 
 00:34:24.850 --> 00:34:27.000
 those smiles on their faces,
 
 00:34:27.000 --> 00:34:30.960
 that determination in Conner\'s
 face to finish with Cayden,
 
 00:34:30.960 --> 00:34:32.940
 to get him through that line.
 
 00:34:32.940 --> 00:34:34.160
 I\'ll never forget that.
 
 00:34:34.160 --> 00:34:36.980
 - Seeing them achieve that together was,
 
 00:34:36.980 --> 00:34:40.670
 it was incredible to see that.
 
 00:34:40.670 --> 00:34:43.220
 That Conner took on himself
 and did that with Cayden.
 
 00:34:43.220 --> 00:34:44.620
 It really meant a lot to us.
 
 00:34:45.948 --> 00:34:48.870
 I mean, here we are, we
 have a special needs child,
 
 00:34:48.870 --> 00:34:51.084
 and his brother is like come on, come on.
 
 00:34:51.084 --> 00:34:52.710
 Nobody\'s left behind.
 
 00:34:52.710 --> 00:34:57.366
 - I don\'t think he really,
 truly understands the impact
 
 00:34:57.366 --> 00:34:59.770
 that he\'s made on Cayden.
 
 00:34:59.770 --> 00:35:01.800
 I just don\'t think he understands that.
 
 00:35:01.800 --> 00:35:05.980
 I think he just, he\'s
 just a brother out there,
 
 00:35:05.980 --> 00:35:09.320
 he\'s just a kid out there
 wanting to have some fun,
 
 00:35:09.320 --> 00:35:11.100
 do something with his brother.
 
 00:35:11.100 --> 00:35:15.660
 It\'s given Cayden an outlet,
 an outlet to be in society,
 
 00:35:15.660 --> 00:35:19.230
 an outlet to show that
 he\'s just like anyone else,
 
 00:35:19.230 --> 00:35:23.640
 that he is a person,
 he likes to do things.
 
 00:35:23.640 --> 00:35:24.943
 It\'s impacted him a lot.
 
 00:35:40.670 --> 00:35:42.470
 - The experience that you have growing up
 
 00:35:42.470 --> 00:35:44.930
 with a sibling with Down
 syndrome allows you to know
 
 00:35:44.930 --> 00:35:46.480
 what it feels like to be on the outside.
 
 00:35:46.480 --> 00:35:49.370
 So, if you experience that
 or you see that happening
 
 00:35:49.370 --> 00:35:51.820
 with anybody else, you can kind of feel
 
 00:35:51.820 --> 00:35:53.550
 what they\'re feeling, and
 it makes you feel connected
 
 00:35:53.550 --> 00:35:54.383
 to that person.
 
 00:35:57.290 --> 00:35:59.670
 That one-to-one relationship
 that Jason and I have built
 
 00:35:59.670 --> 00:36:03.270
 from day one, that opportunity
 for me to know who he is,
 
 00:36:03.270 --> 00:36:06.090
 not as a person with Down
 syndrome, but just as my brother,
 
 00:36:06.090 --> 00:36:08.170
 is the same opportunity
 that we try to create
 
 00:36:08.170 --> 00:36:09.363
 for our counselors.
 
 00:36:18.500 --> 00:36:21.820
 We have individuals that
 come into the PALS community
 
 00:36:21.820 --> 00:36:24.070
 and have maybe never met
 someone with Down syndrome,
 
 00:36:24.070 --> 00:36:27.590
 or a disability before, and
 walk away with an experience
 
 00:36:27.590 --> 00:36:30.020
 that will define how they
 interact with someone
 
 00:36:30.020 --> 00:36:32.370
 with Down syndrome for
 the rest of their lives.
 
 00:36:36.290 --> 00:36:38.960
 When my brother was born the information
 
 00:36:38.960 --> 00:36:42.910
 that my parents received
 was very negative.
 
 00:36:42.910 --> 00:36:45.910
 In fact they were told you don\'t
 even have to take him home.
 
 00:36:46.760 --> 00:36:50.070
 For my mom the turning
 point of that experience
 
 00:36:50.070 --> 00:36:52.710
 was when a nurse came in
 and showed her a picture
 
 00:36:52.710 --> 00:36:54.580
 of her son with Down syndrome.
 
 00:36:54.580 --> 00:36:56.372
 He was a five year old boy at the time,
 
 00:36:56.372 --> 00:36:59.170
 and he was playing baseball, for my mom,
 
 00:36:59.170 --> 00:37:02.290
 that experience was the
 first time that she felt like
 
 00:37:02.290 --> 00:37:05.150
 she could dream about what
 Jason was going to do.
 
 00:37:05.150 --> 00:37:08.130
 She felt she understood who
 he might be as a person.
 
 00:37:08.130 --> 00:37:11.180
 That she felt she had permission to again,
 
 00:37:11.180 --> 00:37:14.010
 think about what he could
 achieve as an individual.
 
 00:37:14.010 --> 00:37:18.170
 Today we are doing the
 Congratulations Project.
 
 00:37:18.170 --> 00:37:19.920
 Raise your hand if you remember
 
 00:37:19.920 --> 00:37:21.340
 what the Congratulations Project is,
 
 00:37:21.340 --> 00:37:22.630
 maybe from years before.
 
 00:37:22.630 --> 00:37:24.280
 The most personal component for me
 
 00:37:24.280 --> 00:37:26.670
 is the PALS Congratulations Project.
 
 00:37:26.670 --> 00:37:29.570
 Where we invited our
 campers to write letters
 
 00:37:29.570 --> 00:37:32.210
 to new parents of babies
 with Down syndrome.
 
 00:37:32.210 --> 00:37:34.914
 We invite our campers to say
 anything that they want to say,
 
 00:37:34.914 --> 00:37:38.500
 as long as their letter
 starts with dear parent,
 
 00:37:38.500 --> 00:37:40.750
 congratulations on your new baby.
 
 00:37:40.750 --> 00:37:43.140
 - I think the mothers
 that get these packages,
 
 00:37:43.140 --> 00:37:45.880
 I think they\'re just beside themselves
 
 00:37:47.010 --> 00:37:49.570
 with gratitude for doing it.
 
 00:37:49.570 --> 00:37:51.850
 It would\'ve made a world
 of difference to us.
 
 00:37:51.850 --> 00:37:53.727
 - One woman wrote Jenni
 recently and she said
 
 00:37:53.727 --> 00:37:57.150
 it was like somebody just
 reached out and gave us a hand.
 
 00:37:57.150 --> 00:37:59.040
 Showed us how things could be,
 
 00:37:59.040 --> 00:38:01.170
 because it\'s a very overwhelming time
 
 00:38:01.170 --> 00:38:03.260
 and just to have someone
 just say congratulations,
 
 00:38:03.260 --> 00:38:06.580
 and there are people out there,
 
 00:38:06.580 --> 00:38:08.260
 and look at what they\'re doing.
 
 00:38:08.260 --> 00:38:11.250
 - Dear parent, congratulations
 on your new baby.
 
 00:38:11.250 --> 00:38:16.190
 My name is Olivia and I
 am a camper at Camp PALS.
 
 00:38:16.190 --> 00:38:18.180
 In the future I want to be a swimmer.
 
 00:38:18.180 --> 00:38:21.200
 It takes hard work and a lot of training.
 
 00:38:21.200 --> 00:38:25.920
 I want to be a parent and have
 a kid that has Down syndrome.
 
 00:38:25.920 --> 00:38:30.658
 And also, I will tell my kid
 my life having Down syndrome.
 
 00:38:30.658 --> 00:38:34.941
 Your kid will have a great
 life having this disability.
 
 00:38:34.941 --> 00:38:35.774
 And don\'t be scared.
 
 00:38:35.774 --> 00:38:36.847
 Sincerely Olivia.
 
 00:38:46.260 --> 00:38:48.460
 - Those letters get
 shipped across the country,
 
 00:38:48.460 --> 00:38:51.170
 and we\'ve just been receiving
 really, really incredible
 
 00:38:51.170 --> 00:38:54.500
 feedback from parents
 who say congratulations
 
 00:38:54.500 --> 00:38:56.584
 was the one word I haven\'t heard.
 
 00:38:56.584 --> 00:38:57.750
 They\'re taking sponges,
 
 00:38:57.750 --> 00:39:00.650
 and they\'re passing it all the way down.
 
 00:39:00.650 --> 00:39:02.930
 The work that I have the
 privilege of doing with PALS
 
 00:39:02.930 --> 00:39:04.760
 is especially meaningful to me,
 
 00:39:04.760 --> 00:39:07.490
 just because PALS has
 always been something
 
 00:39:07.490 --> 00:39:09.343
 that we can participate in together.
 
 00:39:10.280 --> 00:39:11.113
 You got it.
 
 00:39:14.320 --> 00:39:17.720
 - When she transferred to
 the public elementary school
 
 00:39:17.720 --> 00:39:19.930
 I had known the principal there before,
 
 00:39:19.930 --> 00:39:21.130
 because of my other kids.
 
 00:39:21.130 --> 00:39:26.130
 So, I asked if we could not use
 the label mentally retarded,
 
 00:39:26.650 --> 00:39:28.640
 because I took offense to the term,
 
 00:39:28.640 --> 00:39:30.620
 and a lot of other people
 took offense to the term.
 
 00:39:30.620 --> 00:39:33.700
 So he agreed that we would
 put other health impaired
 
 00:39:33.700 --> 00:39:35.290
 on her IEP.
 
 00:39:35.290 --> 00:39:38.630
 - The new principal came
 in and there was an effort
 
 00:39:38.630 --> 00:39:43.060
 in the county to clean up the
 disability codes on the IEP\'s.
 
 00:39:43.060 --> 00:39:44.930
 I was called to an IEP meeting,
 
 00:39:44.930 --> 00:39:47.180
 and we sat down at the table.
 
 00:39:47.180 --> 00:39:51.033
 They proposed changing
 it to mentally retarded.
 
 00:39:52.297 --> 00:39:55.320
 I was sort of blindsided by
 the reason for the meeting.
 
 00:39:55.320 --> 00:39:57.200
 - We knew that the terminology changed,
 
 00:39:57.200 --> 00:39:59.480
 and we knew that it
 really upset my parents.
 
 00:39:59.480 --> 00:40:01.600
 So, we knew that we had
 to do something about it.
 
 00:40:01.600 --> 00:40:04.200
 - I had heard about Jill Egle\'s efforts,
 
 00:40:04.200 --> 00:40:06.720
 and she was already well on her way
 
 00:40:06.720 --> 00:40:09.240
 to get rid of the term in Virginia.
 
 00:40:09.240 --> 00:40:12.123
 - I became aware of the R word between
 
 00:40:15.581 --> 00:40:16.440
 age ten and up
 
 00:40:16.440 --> 00:40:18.980
 when I would hear people on the playground
 
 00:40:18.980 --> 00:40:21.653
 saying it toward me.
 
 00:40:24.040 --> 00:40:26.130
 I decided to advocate for myself,
 
 00:40:26.130 --> 00:40:30.750
 because I wanted to change terminology.
 
 00:40:30.750 --> 00:40:35.180
 My name is Jill Erin Egle,
 I\'m the co-executive director
 
 00:40:35.180 --> 00:40:36.823
 of the ARC of Northern Virginia.
 
 00:40:38.330 --> 00:40:41.520
 In our self-advocacy group, People First,
 
 00:40:41.520 --> 00:40:43.543
 we don\'t like the R word.
 
 00:40:44.900 --> 00:40:48.273
 Which is labeled and stands for retarded.
 
 00:40:49.260 --> 00:40:52.000
 We don\'t like it, because
 it hurts our feelings
 
 00:40:52.000 --> 00:40:54.160
 and it puts us down in our lifetime.
 
 00:40:54.160 --> 00:40:58.780
 We all came together to change
 mildly mentally retarded
 
 00:40:58.780 --> 00:41:02.660
 to intellectual disability
 down in Richmond
 
 00:41:02.660 --> 00:41:06.360
 with the governor, and we all testified.
 
 00:41:06.360 --> 00:41:10.920
 It took within six months
 for the bill to become a law.
 
 00:41:10.920 --> 00:41:14.490
 - Not everybody\'s principal
 beforehand let them
 
 00:41:14.490 --> 00:41:17.083
 have that other label,
 other health impaired.
 
 00:41:17.965 --> 00:41:20.960
 I mean, I wasn\'t the only one,
 and I knew it was going on.
 
 00:41:20.960 --> 00:41:23.100
 It just hit home at that meeting.
 
 00:41:23.100 --> 00:41:26.660
 And I mean, honestly, the
 emotion of that day turned
 
 00:41:26.660 --> 00:41:30.626
 into anger, and that\'s
 what sort of, you know,
 
 00:41:30.626 --> 00:41:33.460
 pushed me to act quickly.
 
 00:41:33.460 --> 00:41:37.670
 - My parents kind of handled
 contacting our local delegates
 
 00:41:37.670 --> 00:41:41.730
 like Ted Sophocleus and Bob
 Costas to get their say on it,
 
 00:41:41.730 --> 00:41:45.742
 and if they thought that we
 could actually make a change.
 
 00:41:45.742 --> 00:41:46.990
 In the meantime, my sisters and I,
 
 00:41:46.990 --> 00:41:48.520
 we started with petitions.
 
 00:41:48.520 --> 00:41:50.920
 - We had to explain, and
 be like yeah our sister
 
 00:41:50.920 --> 00:41:54.480
 got switched to this terminology,
 and it\'s like degrading,
 
 00:41:54.480 --> 00:41:56.340
 and we didn\'t want her
 to be associated with it.
 
 00:41:56.340 --> 00:41:59.250
 And after we got so many petitions signed
 
 00:41:59.250 --> 00:42:01.940
 that we realized how
 many people understood
 
 00:42:01.940 --> 00:42:03.220
 where we were coming from.
 
 00:42:03.220 --> 00:42:05.430
 - All the kids did their
 part, gave their talks.
 
 00:42:05.430 --> 00:42:06.900
 They talked at school.
 
 00:42:06.900 --> 00:42:09.161
 We just wanted to spread the word.
 
 00:42:09.161 --> 00:42:11.260
 When we were approaching the end,
 
 00:42:11.260 --> 00:42:13.340
 when the bill had been drafted,
 
 00:42:13.340 --> 00:42:17.010
 and it had gone through
 the process in Maryland,
 
 00:42:17.010 --> 00:42:20.260
 at one of our last meetings
 Ted actually proposed
 
 00:42:20.260 --> 00:42:22.550
 the idea of calling it Rosa\'s Law.
 
 00:42:22.550 --> 00:42:23.960
 He thought it was a good way
 
 00:42:23.960 --> 00:42:26.563
 to put a face behind the effort.
 
 00:42:27.700 --> 00:42:31.170
 We needed a representative
 from our family to testify,
 
 00:42:31.170 --> 00:42:32.980
 to give it a more personal feel.
 
 00:42:32.980 --> 00:42:37.000
 So we decided that we would
 all write the speech together,
 
 00:42:37.000 --> 00:42:39.870
 but that Nick would present it.
 
 00:42:39.870 --> 00:42:42.860
 - Some people say that
 they are just words,
 
 00:42:42.860 --> 00:42:44.370
 and it\'s not going to make a difference
 
 00:42:44.370 --> 00:42:46.190
 if we just change words.
 
 00:42:46.190 --> 00:42:48.330
 Some say we shouldn\'t
 worry about the words,
 
 00:42:48.330 --> 00:42:50.301
 just the way we treat people.
 
 00:42:50.301 --> 00:42:51.657
 But if you think about it,
 
 00:42:51.657 --> 00:42:54.920
 what you call people is
 how you treat people.
 
 00:42:54.920 --> 00:42:57.920
 If we change the words,
 maybe it\'ll be a start
 
 00:42:57.920 --> 00:42:59.520
 of a new attitude towards people
 
 00:42:59.520 --> 00:43:01.837
 with intellectual disabilities.
 
 00:43:01.837 --> 00:43:03.501
 And they deserve it.
 
 00:43:03.501 --> 00:43:04.830
 I looked up and everyone
 was kind of sitting there
 
 00:43:04.830 --> 00:43:05.840
 smiling at me.
 
 00:43:05.840 --> 00:43:07.960
 It felt like they were
 connected to me in a certain way
 
 00:43:07.960 --> 00:43:10.670
 by hearing my story,
 and my firsthand account
 
 00:43:10.670 --> 00:43:12.557
 of living with Rosa.
 
 00:43:12.557 --> 00:43:16.940
 How it can really affect
 someone in a negative way,
 
 00:43:16.940 --> 00:43:18.520
 just the label itself.
 
 00:43:18.520 --> 00:43:19.970
 - After it passed in Maryland,
 
 00:43:19.970 --> 00:43:21.860
 Senator Mikulski was true to her word,
 
 00:43:21.860 --> 00:43:24.743
 and she immediately contacted me,
 
 00:43:26.130 --> 00:43:29.010
 and went to work in the Senate.
 
 00:43:29.010 --> 00:43:30.710
 And again, there was no opposition.
 
 00:43:30.710 --> 00:43:33.140
 It was a bipartisan effort.
 
 00:43:33.140 --> 00:43:35.940
 - Today I rise to introduce legislation
 
 00:43:35.940 --> 00:43:38.840
 that I\'m calling Rosa\'s Law.
 
 00:43:38.840 --> 00:43:42.570
 It began by listening to
 the people in my own state.
 
 00:43:42.570 --> 00:43:45.130
 By a mother telling me a compelling story
 
 00:43:45.130 --> 00:43:48.070
 about her own daughter,
 her families efforts
 
 00:43:48.070 --> 00:43:52.360
 to give her daughter an
 opportunity for an education,
 
 00:43:52.360 --> 00:43:56.220
 and to be treated with
 respect, and with dignity.
 
 00:43:56.220 --> 00:43:59.140
 And at the same time the
 advocacy of not only she
 
 00:43:59.140 --> 00:44:01.850
 and her husband, but of her entire family,
 
 00:44:01.850 --> 00:44:05.193
 including testifying at the
 Maryland General Assembly.
 
 00:44:06.178 --> 00:44:08.360
 - You grow up kind of
 knowing what the Senate
 
 00:44:08.360 --> 00:44:10.510
 is in our history
 classes in middle school,
 
 00:44:10.510 --> 00:44:11.343
 and stuff like that.
 
 00:44:11.343 --> 00:44:15.590
 We\'d always watch C-SPAN
 videos about what happened
 
 00:44:15.590 --> 00:44:16.810
 on the Senate floor, but it\'s weird
 
 00:44:16.810 --> 00:44:18.320
 when you\'re actually
 there and they\'re talking
 
 00:44:18.320 --> 00:44:20.520
 about something that\'s
 relating to your family.
 
 00:44:20.520 --> 00:44:23.750
 - And that\'s what I stand
 on Senate floor today,
 
 00:44:23.750 --> 00:44:25.960
 at the request of the family,
 
 00:44:25.960 --> 00:44:29.620
 and behalf of this little
 girl, and behalf of all
 
 00:44:29.620 --> 00:44:32.200
 of the children of the
 United States of America
 
 00:44:32.200 --> 00:44:35.350
 who are labeled, stigmatized,
 
 00:44:35.350 --> 00:44:38.460
 and bear a burden the rest of their life,
 
 00:44:38.460 --> 00:44:41.940
 because of the language
 we use in the law books.
 
 00:44:41.940 --> 00:44:46.940
 My law simply today, changes
 the phrase mentally retarded
 
 00:44:47.690 --> 00:44:49.840
 to intellectually disabled.
 
 00:44:49.840 --> 00:44:53.980
 And we do it in health,
 education, and labor policy
 
 00:44:53.980 --> 00:44:57.670
 with out in any way negatively impinging
 
 00:44:57.670 --> 00:45:00.840
 upon either the educational
 or other benefits
 
 00:45:00.840 --> 00:45:03.900
 that these children are entitled to.
 
 00:45:03.900 --> 00:45:07.483
 - Eight months after
 that, I got a call at home
 
 00:45:07.483 --> 00:45:11.640
 from the Senator, and she
 told me that it had passed.
 
 00:45:11.640 --> 00:45:14.630
 - I think going to the
 White House was probably
 
 00:45:14.630 --> 00:45:16.510
 like one of the coolest
 things I\'ve ever done.
 
 00:45:16.510 --> 00:45:18.970
 It was really cool, because
 we\'re just normal people
 
 00:45:18.970 --> 00:45:21.157
 and we were there, and
 we met the president,
 
 00:45:21.157 --> 00:45:22.370
 and he hugged us.
 
 00:45:22.370 --> 00:45:23.893
 - The president actually
 signed Rosa\'s Law,
 
 00:45:23.893 --> 00:45:25.037
 I think the previous week,
 
 00:45:25.037 --> 00:45:27.470
 but this was a ceremonial signing.
 
 00:45:27.470 --> 00:45:30.010
 - Well on Tuesday I signed Rosa\'s Law.
 
 00:45:30.010 --> 00:45:33.220
 This is named for a
 nine-year-old girl, right there,
 
 00:45:33.220 --> 00:45:35.064
 Rosa, wave to everybody.
 
 00:45:35.064 --> 00:45:38.231
 (audience applauding)
 
 00:45:47.304 --> 00:45:49.510
 I think Rosa\'s brother Nick put it best.
 
 00:45:49.510 --> 00:45:50.510
 Where\'s Nick?
 
 00:45:50.510 --> 00:45:52.010
 You right there, Nick?
 
 00:45:52.010 --> 00:45:53.500
 You can wave too. Go ahead.
 
 00:45:53.500 --> 00:45:55.540
 (audience laughing)
 
 00:45:55.540 --> 00:45:58.970
 But I want everybody to
 hear Nick\'s wisdom here.
 
 00:45:58.970 --> 00:46:01.883
 He said, what you call
 people is how you treat them.
 
 00:46:02.870 --> 00:46:05.720
 If we change the words,
 maybe it\'ll be the start
 
 00:46:05.720 --> 00:46:09.310
 of a new attitude towards
 people with disabilities.
 
 00:46:09.310 --> 00:46:11.522
 That\'s a lot of wisdom from Nick.
 
 00:46:11.522 --> 00:46:14.520
 (audience applauding)
 
 00:46:14.520 --> 00:46:16.240
 - You want to talk about Rosa\'s Law?
 
 00:46:16.240 --> 00:46:17.073
 - Yes.
 
 00:46:17.073 --> 00:46:18.777
 - What was your favorite
 part about Rosa\'s Law?
 
 00:46:18.777 --> 00:46:22.752
 - Well we went to the White
 House to meet President Obama,
 
 00:46:22.752 --> 00:46:24.583
 to write my law.
 
 00:46:24.583 --> 00:46:27.734
 And he is more handsome
 than other presidents,
 
 00:46:27.734 --> 00:46:31.142
 it was so much fun there
 at the White House.
 
 00:46:31.142 --> 00:46:36.142
 He is the president, he wrote
 my law, and he signed my law.
 
 00:46:39.730 --> 00:46:41.126
 - He hugged you too, right?
 
 00:46:41.126 --> 00:46:41.959
 - Yeah, he hugged me.
 - Did you like that?
 
 00:46:41.959 --> 00:46:43.360
 - Yeah, I like that.
 - You liked a lot. Yeah.
 
 00:46:43.360 --> 00:46:44.650
 There was a lot of pictures.
 
 00:46:44.650 --> 00:46:46.510
 Did you like all the pictures
 that everyone took of you?
 
 00:46:46.510 --> 00:46:48.900
 - Yes, but I was...
 
 00:46:48.900 --> 00:46:50.030
 - You\'re famous?
 
 00:46:50.030 --> 00:46:50.863
 - Yeah, I\'m famous.
 
 00:46:50.863 --> 00:46:53.407
 I\'m in newspapers and magazines.
 
 00:46:53.407 --> 00:46:55.533
 For my friends, it\'s cool for them.
 
 00:46:56.960 --> 00:46:58.820
 - When we got it passed
 at the federal-level
 
 00:46:58.820 --> 00:47:02.275
 I think it sort of prompted
 most of the other states
 
 00:47:02.275 --> 00:47:04.750
 to look at doing the same thing.
 
 00:47:04.750 --> 00:47:06.827
 - I think this whole
 experience with Rosa\'s Law
 
 00:47:06.827 --> 00:47:10.100
 has kind of taught me that
 so many people out there
 
 00:47:10.100 --> 00:47:12.270
 don\'t really have a say on something
 
 00:47:12.270 --> 00:47:14.470
 that can effect their
 life in such a big way.
 
 00:47:14.470 --> 00:47:15.960
 - It was empowering I think,
 
 00:47:15.960 --> 00:47:19.740
 to know that people really
 do care, and people listen.
 
 00:47:19.740 --> 00:47:23.230
 - So every day, when I get
 ready to wear my earrings
 
 00:47:23.230 --> 00:47:25.790
 to work, I\'ve looked at your button.
 
 00:47:25.790 --> 00:47:27.200
 And you know why?
 
 00:47:27.200 --> 00:47:30.920
 I didn\'t want to forget you,
 and I didn\'t want to forget
 
 00:47:30.920 --> 00:47:33.163
 all the other kids that
 were counting on me.
 
 00:47:39.150 --> 00:47:42.030
 (school bell ringing)
 
 00:47:42.030 --> 00:47:43.930
 - I was really lucky to
 have a very good friend
 
 00:47:43.930 --> 00:47:46.040
 of our family\'s named Loretta Claiborne.
 
 00:47:46.040 --> 00:47:48.490
 She was a Special Olympics gold medalist,
 
 00:47:48.490 --> 00:47:51.430
 and a leader within the
 Special Olympics Movement.
 
 00:47:51.430 --> 00:47:54.030
 And she came in and spoke to our class.
 
 00:47:54.030 --> 00:47:55.600
 And just before she
 left she said something,
 
 00:47:55.600 --> 00:47:58.840
 she said do you guys know
 the saying sticks and stones?
 
 00:47:58.840 --> 00:48:01.580
 - Sticks and stones break my bones,
 
 00:48:01.580 --> 00:48:03.373
 but names will never hurt.
 
 00:48:04.640 --> 00:48:09.640
 Well young people, that\'s the
 worst thing I would ever say,
 
 00:48:12.920 --> 00:48:15.280
 and I\'ll tell you the reason why.
 
 00:48:15.280 --> 00:48:16.740
 - And she said, you know the thing is
 
 00:48:16.740 --> 00:48:18.840
 I\'ve been in a lot of fights.
 
 00:48:18.840 --> 00:48:23.230
 I\'ve been bruised many times,
 and I\'ve always recovered.
 
 00:48:23.230 --> 00:48:25.350
 But, the things that have
 always hurt my heart,
 
 00:48:25.350 --> 00:48:28.003
 that stick with me forever are words.
 
 00:48:28.965 --> 00:48:31.500
 So be really, really careful
 may about the words you use,
 
 00:48:31.500 --> 00:48:34.260
 because those are the most
 powerful weapons you have.
 
 00:48:34.260 --> 00:48:37.590
 And in particular there\'s one
 word that hurts me the most,
 
 00:48:37.590 --> 00:48:39.340
 and it\'s the word retard,
 
 00:48:39.340 --> 00:48:41.600
 because it\'s a word that\'s
 used about people like me.
 
 00:48:41.600 --> 00:48:43.485
 To put people like me down,
 
 00:48:43.485 --> 00:48:45.570
 to put people like me in institutions,
 
 00:48:45.570 --> 00:48:48.560
 like I was put as a kid
 when I was your age.
 
 00:48:48.560 --> 00:48:51.980
 So please, think about the word retard.
 
 00:48:51.980 --> 00:48:53.090
 Think about the words you use,
 
 00:48:53.090 --> 00:48:55.897
 and remember they\'re
 really powerful weapons,
 
 00:48:55.897 --> 00:48:57.913
 and you get to decide how you use them.
 
 00:48:58.790 --> 00:49:00.540
 - If you think that doesn\'t hurt,
 
 00:49:00.540 --> 00:49:02.310
 I could ask either one of you,
 
 00:49:02.310 --> 00:49:04.700
 how many of you been called names?
 
 00:49:04.700 --> 00:49:06.747
 How many of you been
 treated wrong in school?
 
 00:49:06.747 --> 00:49:08.400
 The first thing you will remember,
 
 00:49:08.400 --> 00:49:10.250
 if I come back to you ten years later,
 
 00:49:10.250 --> 00:49:13.310
 that oh so and so used
 to call me sticker face,
 
 00:49:13.310 --> 00:49:17.560
 or snicker face, or pot
 hole face, or whatever.
 
 00:49:17.560 --> 00:49:19.730
 You remember those names in your 20s.
 
 00:49:19.730 --> 00:49:22.088
 You remember those names
 when you\'re in your 30s,
 
 00:49:22.088 --> 00:49:23.270
 and 40s, and 50s.
 
 00:49:23.270 --> 00:49:25.650
 They live with you forever.
 
 00:49:25.650 --> 00:49:27.650
 - So, the old cliche of sticks and stones
 
 00:49:27.650 --> 00:49:30.543
 may break my bones, but
 names never hurt is a lie.
 
 00:49:31.460 --> 00:49:35.710
 And young people, names do hurt.
 
 00:49:35.710 --> 00:49:38.088
 - But I was really challenged
 that day by Loretta,
 
 00:49:38.088 --> 00:49:41.250
 to take it up as something
 that I had to stand for.
 
 00:49:41.250 --> 00:49:43.060
 On behalf of her, and on
 behalf of all the people
 
 00:49:43.060 --> 00:49:44.900
 that have intellectual disabilities,
 and behalf of all of us
 
 00:49:44.900 --> 00:49:47.229
 without intellectual disabilities,
 
 00:49:47.229 --> 00:49:49.530
 to recognize the power of our words.
 
 00:49:49.530 --> 00:49:53.250
 - Do you ever personally use the word?
 
 00:49:53.250 --> 00:49:55.640
 - Yeah, like I said, but not meaning
 
 00:49:57.110 --> 00:50:00.380
 someone with a mental deficiency, no.
 
 00:50:00.380 --> 00:50:02.300
 - But it does creep in
 there unfortunately.
 
 00:50:02.300 --> 00:50:03.540
 I\'ll admit it.
 
 00:50:03.540 --> 00:50:05.100
 - Sometimes, maybe if I\'m
 hot tempered or something
 
 00:50:05.100 --> 00:50:07.420
 like that I might call somebody a retard,
 
 00:50:07.420 --> 00:50:09.840
 but I\'m pretty conscious
 of what I say to people,
 
 00:50:09.840 --> 00:50:11.390
 because I know words can hurt.
 
 00:50:11.390 --> 00:50:15.420
 - Maybe once every six
 months kind of accidentally.
 
 00:50:15.420 --> 00:50:17.400
 - I mean, I know it\'s not
 like politically correct,
 
 00:50:17.400 --> 00:50:19.960
 but because of the root word
 
 00:50:19.960 --> 00:50:24.100
 I feel like it\'s not
 coming from a bad place.
 
 00:50:24.100 --> 00:50:24.933
 You know?
 
 00:50:24.933 --> 00:50:27.005
 - Once in a while yes, I am guilty of it.
 
 00:50:27.005 --> 00:50:28.584
 - I\'ve used it a couple of times.
 
 00:50:28.584 --> 00:50:29.430
 I\'m not going to lie.
 
 00:50:29.430 --> 00:50:30.990
 Yeah, and I probably still do.
 
 00:50:30.990 --> 00:50:34.030
 - I think amongst like
 friends, if you know them
 
 00:50:34.030 --> 00:50:36.290
 and you use it loosely, I think it\'s fine.
 
 00:50:36.290 --> 00:50:40.510
 - A lot of times I use it as
 an offense to offend a person,
 
 00:50:40.510 --> 00:50:44.390
 because I feel like they\'re
 not getting my point.
 
 00:50:44.390 --> 00:50:48.790
 - It\'s a pretty retarded insult
 to call someone a retard,
 
 00:50:48.790 --> 00:50:50.020
 because come on.
 
 00:50:50.020 --> 00:50:50.980
 You can\'t do better than that?
 
 00:50:50.980 --> 00:50:52.560
 - I feel bad saying
 this, but I find it hard
 
 00:50:52.560 --> 00:50:55.640
 to think of another word that describes
 
 00:50:55.640 --> 00:50:59.260
 what I\'m trying to
 describe, but I always know
 
 00:50:59.260 --> 00:51:02.793
 that it\'s wrong, because
 that\'s not what the word means.
 
 00:51:08.280 --> 00:51:10.200
 - The hardest thing for
 me to see growing up
 
 00:51:10.200 --> 00:51:15.200
 was that Jason wasn\'t always
 aware of the looks, the stares,
 
 00:51:15.330 --> 00:51:19.180
 the side comments, the
 mocking that would happen
 
 00:51:19.180 --> 00:51:21.230
 to him in middle school and high school.
 
 00:51:21.230 --> 00:51:24.190
 As a sibling I struggled
 with whether I was happier
 
 00:51:24.190 --> 00:51:27.970
 that he didn\'t know it
 existed, or if I was angrier
 
 00:51:27.970 --> 00:51:30.130
 that he didn\'t even have a
 chance to stand up for himself,
 
 00:51:30.130 --> 00:51:32.680
 because a lot of these people
 he thought were being silly
 
 00:51:32.680 --> 00:51:33.580
 or were being his friends.
 
 00:51:33.580 --> 00:51:35.480
 When in reality they were mocking him.
 
 00:51:40.330 --> 00:51:41.960
 - If you\'ve ever noticed when people say,
 
 00:51:41.960 --> 00:51:45.250
 oh he\'s acting so retarded and they\'ll go,
 
 00:51:45.250 --> 00:51:47.045
 he\'s acting so retarded.
 
 00:51:47.045 --> 00:51:51.050
 They change their tone and their voice
 
 00:51:51.050 --> 00:51:55.230
 to act like someone
 that might speak slower,
 
 00:51:55.230 --> 00:51:58.248
 or might have a speech problem.
 
 00:51:58.248 --> 00:52:00.810
 You know, so you automatically...
 
 00:52:00.810 --> 00:52:04.160
 It puts that stigma on Cayden
 when he might be grunting
 
 00:52:04.160 --> 00:52:06.520
 to be trying to say mama or something,
 
 00:52:06.520 --> 00:52:08.783
 because Cayden goes Mama.
 
 00:52:16.400 --> 00:52:19.130
 - Jason and I attended the
 World\'s Special Olympics Games
 
 00:52:19.130 --> 00:52:21.320
 in Boise, Idaho in 2009.
 
 00:52:21.320 --> 00:52:22.900
 Which is when Soeren and Timbo launched
 
 00:52:22.900 --> 00:52:24.980
 the Spread The Word To
 End The Word Campaign.
 
 00:52:24.980 --> 00:52:28.660
 Jason, after sitting in
 silence for about an hour
 
 00:52:28.660 --> 00:52:31.750
 as we discussed, spoke
 up about his experiences.
 
 00:52:31.750 --> 00:52:35.600
 About the times that people
 had called him the R word.
 
 00:52:35.600 --> 00:52:39.032
 It was the first time that
 I saw Jason put a label
 
 00:52:39.032 --> 00:52:41.080
 on the experiences he has had.
 
 00:52:41.080 --> 00:52:43.592
 He turned and said I\'ve heard that word,
 
 00:52:43.592 --> 00:52:45.680
 I know that\'s bullying now.
 
 00:52:45.680 --> 00:52:50.520
 - When I was younger I used
 to complain to my teacher
 
 00:52:50.520 --> 00:52:55.520
 about people who called me the
 R word, and other bad names.
 
 00:52:56.070 --> 00:53:01.070
 I want other people to know
 how hurtful this word is.
 
 00:53:02.930 --> 00:53:06.429
 - I know what it\'s like
 to be treated differently,
 
 00:53:06.429 --> 00:53:08.527
 because of one word.
 
 00:53:08.527 --> 00:53:12.100
 - I just don\'t like the word retarded.
 
 00:53:12.100 --> 00:53:14.853
 - And why don\'t you
 like the word retarded?
 
 00:53:16.009 --> 00:53:21.009
 - Because I feel kind of different, upset,
 
 00:53:24.260 --> 00:53:25.890
 and my feelings would get hurt
 
 00:53:25.890 --> 00:53:29.910
 if someone said that
 to me right to my face.
 
 00:53:29.910 --> 00:53:32.520
 - It was just like being
 called a nigger basically,
 
 00:53:32.520 --> 00:53:37.520
 or being called a B, or
 a ho, but only to me,
 
 00:53:38.660 --> 00:53:40.610
 to a lot of other kids they seen that
 
 00:53:40.610 --> 00:53:43.752
 as meaning nothing to them.
 
 00:53:43.752 --> 00:53:48.610
 But to me it was equivalent
 to being called a nigger.
 
 00:53:48.610 --> 00:53:53.323
 - It made me feel like,
 like someone hates me.
 
 00:53:55.200 --> 00:53:59.480
 Like when you\'re being said
 the R word in front of you,
 
 00:53:59.480 --> 00:54:03.240
 it\'s like someone
 slapping you in the face.
 
 00:54:03.240 --> 00:54:05.230
 - Has someone ever called you the R word,
 
 00:54:05.230 --> 00:54:06.860
 or any other names?
 
 00:54:06.860 --> 00:54:08.050
 - Yes.
 
 00:54:08.050 --> 00:54:13.050
 There are two older boys who pushed me
 
 00:54:14.090 --> 00:54:17.773
 and forced me to eat sand,
 and called me a retard.
 
 00:54:21.290 --> 00:54:25.512
 - I fight the term, only because
 that I, and others like me,
 
 00:54:25.512 --> 00:54:28.520
 feel discriminated against.
 
 00:54:28.520 --> 00:54:33.520
 - If you put yourself in
 another person\'s shoes
 
 00:54:34.020 --> 00:54:39.020
 that has a disability, and
 somebody else called you
 
 00:54:39.140 --> 00:54:42.423
 the R word it would be hurtful to you.
 
 00:54:43.700 --> 00:54:45.640
 And sometimes you have to put yourself
 
 00:54:45.640 --> 00:54:48.700
 in other people\'s shoes
 to see how bad really
 
 00:54:48.700 --> 00:54:50.817
 something can hurt you.
 
 00:55:00.085 --> 00:55:01.835
 - Here boy. Here boy.
 
 00:55:05.563 --> 00:55:06.928
 - Don\'t throw it yet.
 
 00:55:06.928 --> 00:55:08.629
 Here get the water out.
 
 00:55:08.629 --> 00:55:09.626
 Squeeze it.
 
 00:55:09.626 --> 00:55:11.069
 Don\'t throw it yet.
 
 00:55:11.069 --> 00:55:13.340
 Turn it upside down.
 
 00:55:13.340 --> 00:55:14.173
 There you go.
 
 00:55:14.173 --> 00:55:15.006
 Come on D.
 
 00:55:15.006 --> 00:55:16.193
 Wait a sec, wait, wait, wait.
 
 00:55:20.810 --> 00:55:25.148
 - My mom is still crying about
 graduating the 8th grade.
 
 00:55:25.148 --> 00:55:26.365
 - About you graduating the 8th grade?
 
 00:55:26.365 --> 00:55:27.805
 You\'re not even in the 8th grade yet.
 
 00:55:27.805 --> 00:55:30.429
 - Excuse me I\'m in 7th grade now.
 
 00:55:30.429 --> 00:55:32.110
 - You\'re in 7th, so next year
 you\'ll be in 8th grade, right?
 
 00:55:32.110 --> 00:55:33.426
 - Yeah.
 
 00:55:33.426 --> 00:55:35.245
 - Then you go to high
 school, are you excited?
 
 00:55:35.245 --> 00:55:36.706
 And then college.
 
 00:55:36.706 --> 00:55:38.750
 - Do you know where you
 want to go to college?
 
 00:55:38.750 --> 00:55:40.920
 - I don\'t know exactly, I don\'t know.
 
 00:55:40.920 --> 00:55:42.060
 - You don\'t know exactly?
 
 00:55:42.060 --> 00:55:43.590
 Yeah, you have a lot of time to look.
 
 00:55:43.590 --> 00:55:45.660
 - She\'ll ask to look at the college book.
 
 00:55:45.660 --> 00:55:47.090
 She thumbs through it.
 
 00:55:47.090 --> 00:55:51.130
 I want Rosa to know that she
 can do most of the things
 
 00:55:51.130 --> 00:55:52.800
 that her siblings can do.
 
 00:55:52.800 --> 00:55:57.800
 I hope that the R Word Movement,
 and not just Rosa\'s Law,
 
 00:55:57.870 --> 00:56:01.970
 the whole movement, I hope
 that it empowers people.
 
 00:56:01.970 --> 00:56:04.380
 Especially self advocates,
 because we\'ve seen
 
 00:56:04.380 --> 00:56:09.100
 some wonderful and sweeping
 reform that has been caused
 
 00:56:09.100 --> 00:56:11.410
 by self advocates.
 
 00:56:11.410 --> 00:56:12.940
 We have a long way to go I think,
 
 00:56:12.940 --> 00:56:16.460
 and I\'d love for Rosa to be
 able to advocate for herself,
 
 00:56:16.460 --> 00:56:20.843
 and maybe Rosa could take
 on the US Senate next time.
 
 00:56:26.770 --> 00:56:30.827
 - It makes me feel good now
 that through all the hard work,
 
 00:56:30.827 --> 00:56:34.470
 and all those triathlons we were announced
 
 00:56:34.470 --> 00:56:37.440
 Sports Illustrated, and we
 didn\'t even know it was coming.
 
 00:56:37.440 --> 00:56:39.410
 So it felt pretty cool.
 
 00:56:39.410 --> 00:56:42.700
 Now that all the attention that we\'ve had,
 
 00:56:42.700 --> 00:56:44.820
 that we had the playground built,
 
 00:56:44.820 --> 00:56:48.120
 now that we have playground
 Cayden can roll around
 
 00:56:48.120 --> 00:56:50.533
 by himself and do
 everything that he wants.
 
 00:56:53.497 --> 00:56:57.420
 And it feels good to see
 him laugh and have fun,
 
 00:56:57.420 --> 00:57:01.500
 because he normally
 wouldn\'t be able to do that.
 
 00:57:01.500 --> 00:57:04.410
 - I know in my heart that
 they love each other,
 
 00:57:04.410 --> 00:57:08.760
 and they will always find a way
 to be connected as brothers.
 
 00:57:08.760 --> 00:57:10.817
 - Those are not mix-match
 mom. They\'re hipster socks.
 
 00:57:21.005 --> 00:57:22.570
 Come on go higher.
 
 00:57:22.570 --> 00:57:26.750
 - I\'m proud of myself, not
 just being in a relationship
 
 00:57:26.750 --> 00:57:29.480
 with my girlfriend, but having a sister
 
 00:57:29.480 --> 00:57:31.290
 and stopping the R word.
 
 00:57:31.290 --> 00:57:32.600
 That\'s what I\'m proud of.
 
 00:57:32.600 --> 00:57:36.750
 - I want Jason to have every
 opportunity that he wants.
 
 00:57:36.750 --> 00:57:38.482
 I want to him to be...
 
 00:57:38.482 --> 00:57:39.840
 It\'s emotional.
 
 00:57:39.840 --> 00:57:42.040
 I want Jason to have a wife.
 
 00:57:42.040 --> 00:57:44.460
 I want Jason to have an apartment.
 
 00:57:44.460 --> 00:57:47.320
 I want Jason to have a job that he loves
 
 00:57:47.320 --> 00:57:49.630
 and is proud of every single day.
 
 00:57:49.630 --> 00:57:52.150
 I want Jason to have
 friends that come over,
 
 00:57:52.150 --> 00:57:54.050
 and that care about him,
 
 00:57:54.050 --> 00:57:56.960
 and that want to be a part of his life.
 
 00:57:56.960 --> 00:58:00.130
 I want Jason to have a
 supportive community around him,
 
 00:58:00.130 --> 00:58:03.920
 and to exist in a world
 where I don\'t have to worry
 
 00:58:03.920 --> 00:58:06.390
 if people are looking at him oddly,
 
 00:58:06.390 --> 00:58:11.300
 or are going to judge
 him, or going to see him
 
 00:58:11.300 --> 00:58:12.490
 for something that he\'s not.
 
 00:58:12.490 --> 00:58:15.140
 I want Jason to be 60 or 70 years old,
 
 00:58:15.140 --> 00:58:17.550
 and to say yeah this is the best.
 
 00:58:17.550 --> 00:58:20.130
 I love my life, and I love
 everything I\'ve achieved,
 
 00:58:20.130 --> 00:58:22.073
 and I am so proud of who I am.
 
 00:58:28.730 --> 00:58:31.970
 - So, will the R-word cease to exist?
 
 00:58:31.970 --> 00:58:35.623
 Will the world eventually see
 my sister the same way I do?
 
 00:58:36.521 --> 00:58:37.840
 That I don\'t know.
 
 00:58:37.840 --> 00:58:41.680
 What I do know is that as
 we try to coexist in a world
 
 00:58:41.680 --> 00:58:45.420
 that seems increasingly resistant
 to perceived difference,
 
 00:58:45.420 --> 00:58:49.160
 a small gesture like rethinking
 how we use our language
 
 00:58:49.160 --> 00:58:51.420
 can go a long way towards understanding
 
 00:58:51.420 --> 00:58:53.703
 our shared human experience.
 
 00:58:55.270 --> 00:58:59.550
 - Changing the language is not
 enough to change a culture,
 
 00:58:59.550 --> 00:59:01.070
 it\'s not enough to change laws,
 
 00:59:01.070 --> 00:59:03.560
 it\'s not enough to change
 behavior, but it\'s an important
 
 00:59:03.560 --> 00:59:06.700
 dimension of changing all those things.
 
 00:59:06.700 --> 00:59:08.840
 And it\'s the one that everyone can do.
 
 00:59:08.840 --> 00:59:10.610
 Not everyone can write a new law,
 
 00:59:10.610 --> 00:59:13.690
 not everyone can be trained
 as a special educator,
 
 00:59:13.690 --> 00:59:16.360
 not everyone can hire a person
 in their place of business,
 
 00:59:16.360 --> 00:59:18.542
 not everyone can open their neighborhood
 
 00:59:18.542 --> 00:59:20.870
 to a person with an
 intellectual disability,
 
 00:59:20.870 --> 00:59:25.870
 but everyone, everyone
 can change their language.
 
 00:59:26.220 --> 00:59:30.150
 - It feels like you\'re
 a part of a giant world
 
 00:59:30.150 --> 00:59:34.400
 where people can accept
 people for who they are,
 
 00:59:34.400 --> 00:59:36.513
 and for who they want to be.
 
 00:59:38.480 --> 00:59:41.983
 What people need now is love.
 
 00:59:46.696 --> 00:59:47.529
 - Perfect.
 
 00:59:47.529 --> 00:59:49.207
 - Oh, I like that.
 
 00:59:49.207 --> 00:59:50.807
 - You like it?
 - Oh, yes, I do.
 
 00:59:51.688 --> 00:59:53.650
 - You like the way it looks?
 
 00:59:53.650 --> 00:59:55.193
 It is not an easy name.
 
 00:59:56.910 --> 00:59:58.710
 You know, if you think Obama\'s hard.
 
 01:00:00.904 --> 01:00:05.904
 (people chattering)
 (hopeful music)
 
 01:01:46.050 --> 01:01:47.938
 - I think Frank and I
 should go on the road.
 
 01:01:47.938 --> 01:01:49.433
 Call it the Frank and David Show.
 
 01:01:50.616 --> 01:01:51.458
 - What would you guys talk about
 
 01:01:51.458 --> 01:01:52.840
 on the Frank and David Show?
 
 01:01:52.840 --> 01:01:54.861
 - Well it could be anything.
 
 01:01:54.861 --> 01:01:55.858
 What do you think Frank?
 
 01:01:55.858 --> 01:01:56.861
 - Yeah. It could be fun.
 
 01:01:56.861 --> 01:01:57.694
 It could be humorous.
 
 01:01:57.694 --> 01:01:58.872
 - Absolutely.
 
 01:01:58.872 --> 01:01:59.705
 - It could be funny.
 
 01:01:59.705 --> 01:02:03.243
 It could be romantic.
 
 01:02:04.740 --> 01:02:07.960
 - Well that will apply if
 we have any girlfriends.
 
 01:02:07.960 --> 01:02:08.957
 - Right.
 
 01:02:08.957 --> 01:02:10.701
 - Do you guys have girlfriends?
 
 01:02:10.701 --> 01:02:12.034
 - Frank, do you?
 
 01:02:14.634 --> 01:02:17.884
 - Not right now, but I\'m still looking.
 
 01:02:20.770 --> 01:02:22.180
 - What kinds of things do
 you like to do for fun?
 
 01:02:22.180 --> 01:02:24.980
 - Okay, I do NASCAR.
 
 01:02:24.980 --> 01:02:26.530
 - You don\'t do NASCAR.
 
 01:02:26.530 --> 01:02:27.547
 - Yes I do.
 
 01:02:27.547 --> 01:02:28.660
 - When?
 - PS2.
 
 01:02:28.660 --> 01:02:30.477
 - Okay, so you like to play video games?
 
 01:02:30.477 --> 01:02:31.576
 - Thank you.
 
 01:02:31.576 --> 01:02:32.578
 - Go ahead.
 
 01:02:32.578 --> 01:02:34.790
 - But it\'s NASCAR video games.
 
 01:02:34.790 --> 01:02:38.840
 PS2, Xbox, Nintendo, Wii.
 
 01:02:38.840 --> 01:02:39.930
 - Okay. Let\'s make...
 
 01:02:39.930 --> 01:02:41.220
 Those aren\'t things that you...
 
 01:02:41.220 --> 01:02:42.300
 What do you do for fun?
 
 01:02:42.300 --> 01:02:43.310
 What kinds of things are fun?
 
 01:02:43.310 --> 01:02:44.143
 We talk about sports, working out.
 
 01:02:45.618 --> 01:02:46.470
 Okay, okay, okay.
 
 01:02:46.470 --> 01:02:48.123
 Okay, okay Jenni.
 
 01:02:48.123 --> 01:02:50.116
 Whoa too much from Jenni here.
 
 01:02:55.110 --> 01:02:56.220
 - He\'s professional.
 
 01:02:56.220 --> 01:02:57.163
 I like that.
 
 01:02:58.010 --> 01:03:01.363
 He\'s got a lot of stuff going for him.
 
 01:03:04.130 --> 01:03:05.870
 He\'s basically the all around good guy.
 
 01:03:05.870 --> 01:03:08.940
 I mean he likes to make people laugh.
 
 01:03:08.940 --> 01:03:12.031
 He likes to make people...
 
 01:03:15.465 --> 01:03:16.806
 Get up and dance.
 
 01:03:19.850 --> 01:03:20.737
 He likes to--
 
 01:03:26.440 --> 01:03:31.153
 - Oh gosh, I like to do
 anything on my day off.
 
 01:03:32.220 --> 01:03:34.393
 Have fun, go to a party.
 
 01:03:35.650 --> 01:03:36.483
 - Dance?
 
 01:03:36.483 --> 01:03:38.513
 - Dance, pick up men.
 
 01:03:43.560 --> 01:03:48.560
 - Like I say in my speeches,
 I am a goal defending,
 
 01:03:49.400 --> 01:03:52.067
 home run hitting, dead eye putting,
 
 01:03:52.067 --> 01:03:54.600
 three-point shooting power forward.
 
 01:03:54.600 --> 01:03:56.830
 Though not all at the same time.
 
 01:03:56.830 --> 01:04:00.163
 And yes, Jose Conseco has
 never mentioned my name.
 
 01:04:01.290 --> 01:04:04.023
 All this, and steroid free!
 
 01:04:05.438 --> 01:04:08.584
 - And we all want to say spread
 the word to end the R word.
 
 01:04:08.584 --> 01:04:10.370
 - To end the R word.
 
 01:04:10.370 --> 01:04:12.723
 - Yeah!
 (applauding)
 
 01:04:17.910 --> 01:04:20.577
 (upbeat music)