WEBVTT

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(light music)

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(mower humming)

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(soft piano music)

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- We got all sticky.

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(soft piano music)

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(people talking)

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- Would you wanna live totally on your own

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or would you want a, like a roommate?

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- There\'s nothing quite like the bond

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between brothers and sisters.

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And in families like mine,

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when you have a sibling with
an intellectual disability,

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that bond can take on additional meaning.

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- [Interviewer] So tell me,
what it was like to grow up

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in a family with three sisters?

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- It was fun.

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We always have...

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We always laugh.

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We sometimes like to bicker a lot,

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except I grew out of that.

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I love my sisters.

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- I think until the age five,

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I don\'t think my triplet
sisters and I were really aware

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of the fact that Gabrielle
had Down Syndrome.

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When I was in first-grade
we were asked to bring in

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an item for show and tell,
and most of my friends

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brought in a Cabbage Patch
doll, or a GI Joe figure.

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I brought in my sister Gabrielle.

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It\'s interesting because somehow,

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I knew at such an early
age, at six years old,

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that I wanted to show
my peers that Gabrielle

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was no different than any of them,

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and that there\'s nothing to be afraid of.

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Even though I\'ve always treated Gabrielle

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the same as everybody else,

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it\'s like the rest of the
world is still catching up.

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Whenever I stop to think
about this disconnect

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one word keeps popping in my head.

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So, growing up with a
sister with Down Syndrome

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definitely made me,
and my triplet sisters,

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that much more sensitive
to specific language

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that surrounded people with
intellectual disabilities.

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None more passionately than
the word retard, or retarded.

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- How often do you hear the
word retard or retarded?

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- I hear the word retarded pretty often.

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- Pretty often.
- Pretty often.

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- Quite often where we\'re from
- Yeah, I\'d say a lot. Yeah.

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- Pretty often.

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- I hear it quite often actually.

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- Far too often.

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- I don\'t know a couple times a week.

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- A few times a week.

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- I\'d say about four times
a week, five times a week.

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- Probably, at least once a day.

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- Like daily, or probably
a couple of times.

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- Maybe three times a day.

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- Probably 10 times a day.

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- I hear it all the time.

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- Since it appears as though other people

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are hearing the R word as often as I am,

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it led me to wonder how a word once used

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as a medical term became a derogatory word

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used to put people down.

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And could language, or more
specifically, this one word

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be contributing to why
people like my sister

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still seem to be so misunderstood?

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For most of human history
society has struggled

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to understand people with intellectual

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and developmental disabilities.

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What made them the way they are?

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How do we treat them?

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What do we call them?

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A long time ago during
the periods of antiquity

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in the middle and early modern
ages, intelligence, beauty

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and strength were especially
valued characteristics.

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So those individuals with disabilities

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were frequently cast off from society.

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Often living in extreme poverty,

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left to die, or even killed.

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Words like idiocy, idiot, and fool

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were used to express the inferior
status of this population.

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As the world became more industrialized,

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the time period gave rise
to the eugenics movement,

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a pseudo-science that endeavored
to maintain the integrity

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of the human race.

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People with intellectual and
developmental disabilities

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were seen as a threat to
society and its gene pool.

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So, efforts were made to
segregate them as inmates

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at institutions across the United States,

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restricted their right to marry,

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and enforced involuntary sterilization.

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These inhumane practices continued

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well into the latter
part of the 20th century.

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The language associated with
disability also changed.

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With the advent of IQ testing,

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individuals with intellectual disabilities

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were classified as idiots,
imbeciles, or morons

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depending on their reported IQ score.

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Around the 1950s, mental retardation

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became the accepted medical
and colloquial terminology

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as idiot, imbecile and
moron took on the stigma

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associated with this community.

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Eventually the term mental
retardation was also stigmatized,

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as it evolved into the
popular slang put-downs

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retard and retarded.

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Which became commonplace epithets
in American neighborhoods,

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schoolyards, and adult life.

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By the 1980s and 90s, the
language shifted once more,

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as people started speaking
up about moving away

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from the corrosive labeling of retarded.

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Inspired by the Americans
with Disabilities Act,

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and later Rosa\'s Law, this
movement sparked changes

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at both the local and national level.

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The term mental retardation
was removed and ultimately

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replaced with intellectual
and intellectual disability.

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So if the R word has been
recognized as problematic,

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and subsequently replaced
with a neutral term,

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why is the casual use
of retard and retarded

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still alive and well?

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- What happened to people
with intellectual disabilities

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was the word retard or retarded
became an umbrella concept,

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and it came to mean
something very specific.

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It came to mean somebody who was incapable

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of anything good, stupid,
idiotic, incompetent,

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uncoordinated, sloppy, slow, unappealing.

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So, the word started to
carry all that baggage,

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and instead of being a
description of a way of learning,

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instead it came to mean all
those other horrible things,

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and everything undesirable was
attached back to the person

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with an intellectual or
developmental difference.

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So the language became
the carrier of the stigma.

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In effect, it became the
extender of the stigma.

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- When words last it\'s because
they continue to have a point

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or a purpose, and that
includes derogatory language

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and taboo language.

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- What we want to do is
identify certain members

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in the society as unworthy

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of whatever the society has to offer.

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It\'s like it\'s a bench on a bus,

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and the bench belongs to
a certain group of people.

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Other people do not.

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How do we keep those people off the bench?

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We label them, and we label
them in a way that is meant

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to make clear that their
labeling is derogatory.

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That the people whom we are labeling

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are other with a capital O.

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They\'re not equals.

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And if you\'re not equal,

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then you\'re not entitled
to fair treatment.

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- When we talk about the R word,

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a lot of times we talk
about it being a word

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that communicates a stigma
associated with a minority,

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with a subset of people.

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And there are certainly a lot
of other words, not a lot,

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there are a number of other
words that do similar things,

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we call them slurs, we call them epithets.

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When we say that we might think

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of something like the N word.

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- Those kinds of words, what
they do is the perpetuate

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stereotypes in just a
handful of syllables.

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That\'s what\'s so powerful about them.

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- The similarity between these words

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is that they\'re words that for generations

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have been used to degrade
human beings of a certain kind,

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of a certain look, of
a certain background,

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of a certain experience.

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- That value, that
judgment, that dismissal

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of one\'s significance as
a human being is there

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and is obviously present
when retarded, and nigger,

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and gay are used in these
intensely derogatory contexts.

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- The thing we found with the R word

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that really sets it apart
is that no one realizes

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that it\'s causing that pain.

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People don\'t use the N
word, people don\'t use

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the word faggot, people
don\'t use the word kike,

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without knowing that it\'s causing pain.

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They do it very
intentionally to cause pain.

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- In what context is it being used?

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- If someone says something

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that a friend considers silly or stupid.

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They\'ll say, oh you\'re so retarded.

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- A euphemism to say someone\'s crazy.

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You know, they acting crazy, acting dumb.

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- When people get into debates
and someone gets offended,

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and you know they don\'t
get their point across,

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and they think the other
person is not listening.

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They, oh you\'re retarded.

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It\'s a form of disrespect.

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- Usually they use it kind of...

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I don\'t think it\'s the
correct context for it,

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but they usually say it when
they don\'t like something.

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Like they say, oh this is retarded.

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- Someone might see a
piece of clothing apparel,

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and they might say wow
those shoes are retarded,

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or those jeans are retarded,

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or that basketball move was retarded.

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- When you hear it what
situations do you hear it in?

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- I hear it in the work place,

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I hear it among friends, in the community.

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- Kids on the train.

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- It goes around a lot
through social media.

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- I\'m a teacher so you hear it at school.

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- In music.
♪ Let\'s get retarded in hah ♪

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♪ Let\'s get retarded in here ♪

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♪ And make her fall on her face ♪

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♪ Don\'t be a retard, be a king ♪

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♪ My DNA is Givenchy ♪

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♪ What my swag is, retarded ♪

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♪ What I\'m driving, Ferrari ♪

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- On television.

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- Sometimes TV.
- On TV.

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- You\'re an MMA fighter?

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- MMA retired, yes.

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- Retarded?

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- Close.

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- You know, wearing a head scarf

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doesn\'t actually make you a terrorist.

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- But wearing pig tales at your
age does make you retarded.

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- That\'s true.

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- You don\'t call retarded people retards.

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It\'s bad taste.

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You call your friends retards
when they\'re acting retarded.

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- You know, I\'d give you a pretzel,

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but the walls have eyes
and I\'m not retarded.

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- What if you replaced
him with a fresh recruit?

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A saucy little retard named Scout?

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- He can\'t work at a hamburger stand.

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He can take anything but an order.

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- Did you fire your tweet monkey yet?

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- Yes.

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- Because that guy is
a weapons grade retard.

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- I know.

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- I think you might\'ve been
hoist by your own retard there.

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- That\'s a good one.

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Your own retard. Nice.

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- A pencil\'s fine, retard.

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Just something to write with.

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It doesn\'t matter.

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- Mostly movies.

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- Mainly movies.

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- Yeah movies, is definitely still one.

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- Movies for sure.

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- Remember that time we
got kicked out of Biology

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for playing with Matchbox Cars?

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- Yeah.

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- Who\'s retarded now?

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- Yeah.

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- I didn\'t know they allowed
retards into Shaffer.

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- I mean what if something
like that happened?

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- Basically, you know,
if the kid was retarded,

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I would drive it up to the country

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and just like open the door, and let it.

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You\'re free now.

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You know, like run free.

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- I\'ve been watching TV,
movies that use the R word,

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and it makes me feel sad,
upset, and even frustrated.

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- Sometimes they don\'t
know who their audience is.

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They don\'t know if there
are people with disabilities

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in the audience that are affected by it.

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- I\'ve got a 35-year old cousin.

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Her name is Tina.

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Tina\'s retarded, she\'s
not slow, it\'s full blown.

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It is what it is. You know?

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- I\'ve been in Special Ed all my life.

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They have surrounded
me around retarded kids

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all my life for nothing.

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- When we found out it
was another retarded dude

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that gave her the STD.

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You know I didn\'t know
retarded people had sex.

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I just don\'t see him having
a lot of game that\'s all.

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They\'re both retarded.

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What did they talk about that led to sex?

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I just can\'t, in my mind I can\'t fathom

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what they said that led to the bedroom.

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- If I was retarded then,
I\'d be retarded now, right?

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Do I look retarded to any of y\'all?

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- A lot of differences of
opinion about how art and comedy

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use language, and I think
there\'s a healthy debate

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about whether comedians
ought to be using words

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like the R word, or the N
word, or any other slur.

00:13:06.450 --> 00:13:10.660
- If we look at 12 Years A
Slave, where they use the N word.

00:13:10.660 --> 00:13:12.980
They used it in a historical fashion,

00:13:12.980 --> 00:13:16.550
and when you leave the
movie 12 Years A Slave

00:13:16.550 --> 00:13:19.660
you don\'t think it\'s
okay to use the N word.

00:13:19.660 --> 00:13:22.300
But, if you look at the
movie Tropic Thunder,

00:13:22.300 --> 00:13:27.300
there was no lesson that
taught anyone about the R word.

00:13:29.370 --> 00:13:32.230
It was just used to mock
people with disabilities.

00:13:32.230 --> 00:13:34.380
- Everybody knows you
never go full retard.

00:13:35.850 --> 00:13:37.020
- What do you mean?

00:13:37.020 --> 00:13:37.950
- Check it out.

00:13:37.950 --> 00:13:39.210
Dustin Hoffman.

00:13:39.210 --> 00:13:40.043
Rain Man.

00:13:40.043 --> 00:13:41.170
Look retarded. Act retarded.

00:13:41.170 --> 00:13:42.210
Not retarded.

00:13:42.210 --> 00:13:44.538
Count tooth picks. Cheat at cards.

00:13:44.538 --> 00:13:46.373
Autistic sure. Not retarded.

00:13:47.430 --> 00:13:49.130
Tom Hanks, Forest Gump.

00:13:49.130 --> 00:13:51.550
Slow yes, retarded maybe,
braces on his legs,

00:13:51.550 --> 00:13:52.930
but he charmed the pants off Nixon

00:13:52.930 --> 00:13:54.560
and won a ping pong competition.

00:13:54.560 --> 00:13:55.393
That ain\'t retarded.

00:13:55.393 --> 00:13:57.450
And he was a goddamn war hero.

00:13:57.450 --> 00:13:59.173
You know any retarded war heroes?

00:14:01.550 --> 00:14:03.173
You went full retard man.

00:14:04.530 --> 00:14:06.420
- When you came out of that movie,

00:14:06.420 --> 00:14:10.290
even though it was described
by Ben Stiller as satire,

00:14:10.290 --> 00:14:12.850
when you came out and
you\'re a 14 year old boy,

00:14:12.850 --> 00:14:17.850
you just think that the term
full retard is just fun.

00:14:18.150 --> 00:14:20.470
- There were times when I was doing Jack,

00:14:20.470 --> 00:14:23.080
that I actually felt retarded.

00:14:23.080 --> 00:14:24.778
Like really retarded.

00:14:24.778 --> 00:14:28.432
I mean, I brushed my teeth
retarded, I rode bus retarded.

00:14:28.432 --> 00:14:29.265
- Damn.

00:14:29.265 --> 00:14:32.020
- In a weird way I had to just
sort of just free myself up

00:14:32.020 --> 00:14:35.020
to believe that it was
okay to be stupid, or dumb.

00:14:35.020 --> 00:14:36.460
- To be a moron.

00:14:36.460 --> 00:14:37.293
- Yeah.

00:14:37.293 --> 00:14:38.126
- To be moronical.

00:14:38.126 --> 00:14:39.620
- Exactly to be a moron.

00:14:39.620 --> 00:14:40.677
- An imbecile.

00:14:40.677 --> 00:14:41.930
- The thing that was really challenging,

00:14:41.930 --> 00:14:46.160
and really problematic
about Tropic Thunder

00:14:46.160 --> 00:14:48.020
was that almost every group of people,

00:14:48.020 --> 00:14:51.200
be it women, be it African
Americans, be it Jews,

00:14:51.200 --> 00:14:54.981
be it Asian people, were
asked, were focus grouped.

00:14:54.981 --> 00:14:58.060
Watched the film, tested
the film in front of,

00:14:58.060 --> 00:14:59.250
got their feedback.

00:14:59.250 --> 00:15:01.910
The film was changed with them in mind,

00:15:01.910 --> 00:15:04.720
to see what would and would
not work for the public.

00:15:04.720 --> 00:15:05.553
No one thought,

00:15:05.553 --> 00:15:07.750
no one behind that film
for one second thought,

00:15:07.750 --> 00:15:10.440
maybe we should test the scene
with a community of people

00:15:10.440 --> 00:15:11.720
with intellectual disabilities.

00:15:11.720 --> 00:15:14.000
Maybe we should ask these
people and their loved ones,

00:15:14.000 --> 00:15:17.370
whether or not this scene
might be problematic.

00:15:17.370 --> 00:15:21.040
- That was just indicative
of the larger issue here.

00:15:21.040 --> 00:15:23.330
Which is that we use
incredibly hurtful language

00:15:23.330 --> 00:15:26.980
in film all the time, and yet
there\'s one group of people

00:15:26.980 --> 00:15:29.690
that gets consistently
forgotten about and left out

00:15:29.690 --> 00:15:32.270
when it comes to how these
words, how these scenes,

00:15:32.270 --> 00:15:36.380
how these portraiture\'s
affect the communities

00:15:36.380 --> 00:15:37.580
that see these films.

00:15:37.580 --> 00:15:39.770
And always that community is the people

00:15:39.770 --> 00:15:41.797
with intellectual disabilities.

00:15:41.797 --> 00:15:46.797
- The word retard had become
so part of the language

00:15:50.780 --> 00:15:55.780
of children and youth, that
we needed to do something.

00:15:56.610 --> 00:15:58.950
We needed to understand it better.

00:15:58.950 --> 00:16:03.950
And that was the beginning
of looking at the attitudes

00:16:04.000 --> 00:16:07.480
of our youth, our children, our adults.

00:16:07.480 --> 00:16:08.940
The perceptions that they have

00:16:08.940 --> 00:16:11.190
of people with intellectual disabilities,

00:16:11.190 --> 00:16:15.720
and trying to understand it
within the larger framework

00:16:15.720 --> 00:16:18.893
of what people talk about that is stigma.

00:16:20.240 --> 00:16:24.774
- Recently we surveyed over 1,000 children

00:16:24.774 --> 00:16:27.833
from elementary to high school nationally.

00:16:29.240 --> 00:16:34.240
And we asked them have they
ever heard the term retard

00:16:35.520 --> 00:16:36.903
used in their schools?

00:16:38.590 --> 00:16:43.590
We were not surprised, nine
out of ten kids in schools

00:16:45.610 --> 00:16:50.610
today told us that their
peers use the word retard.

00:16:52.320 --> 00:16:55.563
When we asked them have you
ever used the term retard?

00:16:56.410 --> 00:17:01.010
Only two out of ten
children admitted the use

00:17:01.010 --> 00:17:02.143
of the word retard.

00:17:03.550 --> 00:17:07.601
A more recent study involving over 3,000

00:17:07.601 --> 00:17:12.210
high school students around the country,

00:17:12.210 --> 00:17:14.530
we asked similar questions.

00:17:14.530 --> 00:17:19.530
But we asked a follow up question to

00:17:20.550 --> 00:17:22.383
have you heard the word retard?

00:17:23.420 --> 00:17:27.410
With what we thought was a
direction we needed to take

00:17:27.410 --> 00:17:30.230
this research, which was,

00:17:30.230 --> 00:17:33.560
and what did you do when you heard it?

00:17:33.560 --> 00:17:35.750
There\'s a phrase we use
in the field of bullying,

00:17:35.750 --> 00:17:38.453
an active bystander or
a passive bystander.

00:17:39.990 --> 00:17:44.380
Not that many adolescents
are active bystanders

00:17:44.380 --> 00:17:47.900
when they hear the R word
used in their schools.

00:17:47.900 --> 00:17:50.820
- When our attitudes say
that someone is different,

00:17:50.820 --> 00:17:53.930
say that someone is less
than, less than human,

00:17:53.930 --> 00:17:56.773
the way we treat that person
will shift dramatically.

00:17:59.490 --> 00:18:02.170
- With the R word still
present in every day language

00:18:02.170 --> 00:18:05.430
and pop culture, the stigma
associated with this word

00:18:05.430 --> 00:18:07.870
is likely having an impact on perceptions

00:18:07.870 --> 00:18:10.240
of people with intellectual disabilities.

00:18:10.240 --> 00:18:13.510
These attitudes imply they\'re
not like the rest of us,

00:18:13.510 --> 00:18:15.520
but are people with
intellectual disabilities

00:18:15.520 --> 00:18:16.620
really that different?

00:18:21.638 --> 00:18:23.610
I think people don\'t know

00:18:23.610 --> 00:18:28.100
that people with intellectual
disabilities have jobs,

00:18:28.100 --> 00:18:32.870
or want to work, or want
to be in relationships,

00:18:32.870 --> 00:18:36.630
and talk about and maybe even have sex.

00:18:36.630 --> 00:18:39.593
I think a lot of people don\'t know that.

00:18:41.340 --> 00:18:46.340
- I like someone who\'s romantic,
and thinks about romance.

00:18:47.530 --> 00:18:49.603
Always says I love you.

00:18:51.450 --> 00:18:54.053
I want to look good and feel good.

00:18:55.160 --> 00:18:56.750
Not to be overweight.

00:18:56.750 --> 00:18:58.863
Trying to lose a lot of weight.

00:19:00.550 --> 00:19:05.420
Yes, I kind of made a big
mistake of getting fired

00:19:05.420 --> 00:19:08.213
and bringing something in
when I\'m not supposed to.

00:19:11.435 --> 00:19:15.460
I will admit that.
- And what did you bring in?

00:19:15.460 --> 00:19:16.953
What was the mistake?

00:19:18.250 --> 00:19:21.573
- Drinking before work.

00:19:25.740 --> 00:19:27.010
- And what were you drinking?

00:19:27.010 --> 00:19:28.253
- A wine cooler.

00:19:29.420 --> 00:19:31.960
- People don\'t consider people

00:19:31.960 --> 00:19:36.960
with intellectual disabilities
as having the same

00:19:37.290 --> 00:19:40.410
natural instincts as everybody else.

00:19:40.410 --> 00:19:45.410
- It just hurts me a lot when
people look at me different,

00:19:46.340 --> 00:19:51.340
thinking I\'m not the same as my sisters.

00:19:52.510 --> 00:19:57.510
I want to be treated like everybody else.

00:20:05.057 --> 00:20:07.160
- Hey Rosa.
- Hey Daddy.

00:20:07.160 --> 00:20:09.073
- How are you?
- Good.

00:20:09.073 --> 00:20:11.190
We\'re almost there.

00:20:11.190 --> 00:20:12.023
- You\'re almost here?

00:20:12.023 --> 00:20:13.400
- Yeah.

00:20:13.400 --> 00:20:16.480
- Okay, I\'ll see you
here at Maddie\'s party.

00:20:16.480 --> 00:20:18.209
- All right.
- All right.

00:20:18.209 --> 00:20:20.609
Love you.
- Love you too.

00:20:20.609 --> 00:20:22.609
- All right, bye.
- Bye.

00:20:34.491 --> 00:20:35.324
- How was school today?

00:20:35.324 --> 00:20:36.599
- Easy.
- It was good?

00:20:36.599 --> 00:20:37.867
You ready to do homework?

00:20:37.867 --> 00:20:39.284
- No.
- No.

00:20:39.284 --> 00:20:41.028
- I don\'t have homework today.

00:20:41.028 --> 00:20:41.861
- You do?

00:20:41.861 --> 00:20:42.694
You don\'t have any?

00:20:42.694 --> 00:20:44.830
- Nope.
- But you have a test tomorrow

00:20:44.830 --> 00:20:46.780
on your words remember?

00:20:46.780 --> 00:20:48.970
- My family and I always
knew how smart Rosa was,

00:20:48.970 --> 00:20:50.570
and we never really considered the fact

00:20:50.570 --> 00:20:52.990
that she wouldn\'t be able
to take all the same classes

00:20:52.990 --> 00:20:54.080
that we took growing up,

00:20:54.080 --> 00:20:55.717
and going through elementary
school, middle school,

00:20:55.717 --> 00:20:56.780
and high school.

00:20:56.780 --> 00:20:59.050
- She receives special education services,

00:20:59.050 --> 00:21:01.930
but she\'s been in the
General Ed environment

00:21:01.930 --> 00:21:03.730
since she started school.

00:21:03.730 --> 00:21:06.920
It was always really important for us

00:21:06.920 --> 00:21:08.580
that Rosa was included.

00:21:08.580 --> 00:21:13.580
And to be included means
not just to be in a unified

00:21:14.200 --> 00:21:17.980
sports program, but it\'s
a lot to do with school.

00:21:17.980 --> 00:21:20.410
It has a lot to do with teachers,

00:21:20.410 --> 00:21:24.170
and people having high
expectations for her.

00:21:24.170 --> 00:21:27.154
Having the same expectations for her.

00:21:27.154 --> 00:21:28.029
- What do you like to do at school?

00:21:28.029 --> 00:21:31.050
- Well in school all they do is,

00:21:31.050 --> 00:21:34.672
teachers and students we help each other.

00:21:34.672 --> 00:21:36.220
- You help each other?
- They help each other.

00:21:36.220 --> 00:21:37.510
- What\'s your favorite in
subject in school though?

00:21:37.510 --> 00:21:39.580
- My favorite subject in school is...

00:21:41.620 --> 00:21:42.453
- Is what?

00:21:42.453 --> 00:21:44.120
- Math.
- Math?

00:21:44.120 --> 00:21:45.355
- Mm-hmm.
- What about social studies?

00:21:45.355 --> 00:21:46.188
Do you like social studies?

00:21:46.188 --> 00:21:47.730
- Yeah, I like social studies.

00:21:47.730 --> 00:21:49.463
- Can you tell me a
property of a non-metal?

00:21:52.635 --> 00:21:53.468
- Gold.

00:21:53.468 --> 00:21:54.610
- Gold is a metal.

00:21:54.610 --> 00:21:56.134
So, think of opposite.

00:21:56.134 --> 00:22:00.301
What would be something
that\'s opposite than gold?

00:22:03.655 --> 00:22:04.720
Something opposite.

00:22:04.720 --> 00:22:05.743
- It\'s hard.

00:22:07.474 --> 00:22:09.190
She struggles.

00:22:09.190 --> 00:22:13.870
I mean, she\'s grade-levels
behind her non-disabled peers.

00:22:13.870 --> 00:22:16.140
- It might be hard for
her to learn some stuff,

00:22:16.140 --> 00:22:18.560
but when she gets it she gets it.

00:22:18.560 --> 00:22:21.795
Like math, I know a couple
weeks ago she was learning

00:22:21.795 --> 00:22:23.910
these equations, and they were hard.

00:22:23.910 --> 00:22:25.850
I couldn\'t even do them
at first, but she...

00:22:25.850 --> 00:22:29.810
If you need a two-step equation
done, Rosa\'s your girl.

00:22:29.810 --> 00:22:31.840
- Definitely if she likes
it then she\'ll work hard,

00:22:31.840 --> 00:22:32.683
just like us.

00:22:34.080 --> 00:22:35.895
- Or maybe air, oxygen?

00:22:35.895 --> 00:22:36.780
Remember we talked about oxygen in here?

00:22:36.780 --> 00:22:39.520
What word might you
use to describe oxygen?

00:22:39.520 --> 00:22:40.980
What\'s oxygen, do you remember?

00:22:40.980 --> 00:22:42.663
Is oxygen a solid, liquid or gas?

00:22:43.575 --> 00:22:45.070
- A gas.

00:22:45.070 --> 00:22:45.903
- Excellent.

00:22:45.903 --> 00:22:46.736
Want to type in gas?

00:22:46.736 --> 00:22:47.883
So hit that letter.

00:22:49.620 --> 00:22:51.950
Yep, then we\'re going to hit this one.

00:22:51.950 --> 00:22:56.330
- She benefits from being in
that inclusive environment.

00:22:56.330 --> 00:22:59.160
She learns a lot from
her non-disabled peers.

00:22:59.160 --> 00:23:00.759
- It\'s definitely malleable. Right?

00:23:00.759 --> 00:23:02.573
- It\'s malleable.

00:23:02.573 --> 00:23:04.705
- Yeah. I don\'t know if it\'s brittle,

00:23:04.705 --> 00:23:07.455
because you really can\'t break it.

00:23:07.455 --> 00:23:08.556
- All right, make a decision.

00:23:08.556 --> 00:23:10.090
- All right, let\'s just
say it\'s malleable for now.

00:23:10.090 --> 00:23:10.923
- Yeah.

00:23:13.430 --> 00:23:18.200
- I think that a lot of kids
need to be around people

00:23:18.200 --> 00:23:20.310
with disabilities at a really young age,

00:23:20.310 --> 00:23:23.230
because that\'s the only way
that they\'re going to feel

00:23:23.230 --> 00:23:27.350
comfortable enough to
end up working alongside

00:23:27.350 --> 00:23:28.310
people with disabilities,

00:23:28.310 --> 00:23:30.693
and living next to
people with disabilities.

00:23:32.288 --> 00:23:33.291
- See you Rosa.

00:23:33.291 --> 00:23:34.541
- See you Jake.

00:23:41.131 --> 00:23:42.548
- Cayden. Cayden.

00:23:49.509 --> 00:23:50.342
Hi Buddy.

00:23:53.167 --> 00:23:54.928
You ready to get up?

00:23:54.928 --> 00:23:57.011
You ready to get up? Huh?

00:24:00.511 --> 00:24:01.428
Stretching.

00:24:05.690 --> 00:24:06.523
You ready?

00:24:08.709 --> 00:24:10.350
Cayden\'s condition, he was diagnosed

00:24:10.350 --> 00:24:12.910
with spastic cerebral palsy.

00:24:12.910 --> 00:24:17.120
It\'s where his muscles
are abnormally tight.

00:24:17.120 --> 00:24:19.540
And we had people telling
us that, you know,

00:24:19.540 --> 00:24:22.590
maybe we should think
about options for Cayden,

00:24:22.590 --> 00:24:25.030
as far as placing him in maybe a home

00:24:25.030 --> 00:24:27.280
where he could get better care.

00:24:27.280 --> 00:24:30.900
And I mean, it just
wasn\'t an option for us.

00:24:30.900 --> 00:24:34.120
Our options were, you
know, this is our child

00:24:34.120 --> 00:24:36.740
and we are going to do
the best that we can.

00:24:36.740 --> 00:24:39.000
I mean, it gets very hard, very hard,

00:24:39.000 --> 00:24:44.000
but I just don\'t feel like I
want to just give up on Cayden.

00:24:44.120 --> 00:24:45.607
- Okay there you go.

00:24:47.368 --> 00:24:48.785
Okay. What? What?

00:24:52.890 --> 00:24:53.743
Oh, my hair.

00:24:54.672 --> 00:24:56.360
Okay. Hold on. I\'m going to fix yours too.

00:24:56.360 --> 00:24:57.620
Ready? Let\'s go.

00:24:57.620 --> 00:24:58.453
Come on.

00:24:59.333 --> 00:25:00.750
Let\'s go in here.

00:25:02.960 --> 00:25:04.890
No don\'t pull my hair.

00:25:04.890 --> 00:25:05.840
Don\'t pull my hair.

00:25:08.560 --> 00:25:09.423
Sit right here.

00:25:10.432 --> 00:25:12.186
I\'m going to get your
socks and your hair done.

00:25:12.186 --> 00:25:13.127
Okay?

00:25:13.127 --> 00:25:14.730
It\'s not the physical disability.

00:25:14.730 --> 00:25:19.100
I think I see Cayden struggle
more on communication.

00:25:19.100 --> 00:25:22.740
I see a little boy that is trapped inside,

00:25:22.740 --> 00:25:25.647
and has so much more to say
to this world than he can.

00:25:25.647 --> 00:25:26.690
Put it in your mouth.

00:25:26.690 --> 00:25:27.697
Don\'t take it out.

00:25:34.100 --> 00:25:36.263
Okay, I\'ll fix you something to drink.

00:25:42.487 --> 00:25:44.243
What? Your leg hurt?

00:25:45.346 --> 00:25:46.179
Does your knee hurt?

00:25:46.179 --> 00:25:49.290
- I would describe it as if
you put a lot of duct tape

00:25:49.290 --> 00:25:53.780
over your mouth, where
you could only like...

00:25:53.780 --> 00:25:56.237
You can\'t really talk
it just sounds like a...

00:25:57.130 --> 00:25:58.270
like a very faint mumble.

00:25:58.270 --> 00:26:00.430
Like mm, like all that.

00:26:00.430 --> 00:26:02.900
And if you broke your legs
and you couldn\'t walk,

00:26:02.900 --> 00:26:05.322
well that\'s kind of how it is.

00:26:05.322 --> 00:26:07.572
It would be very
frustrating for some people.

00:26:14.664 --> 00:26:15.710
- What? Me?

00:26:15.710 --> 00:26:16.910
You want me to sit down?

00:26:20.790 --> 00:26:25.130
- He\'s trying to be
independent, and when he\'s faced

00:26:25.130 --> 00:26:27.640
with something that\'s really
hard on him, and he can\'t do,

00:26:27.640 --> 00:26:29.448
it really makes him mad.

00:26:29.448 --> 00:26:30.663
And he might bang the floor.

00:26:40.930 --> 00:26:42.143
- Hold on, hold on.

00:26:43.107 --> 00:26:44.607
- Do you get frustrated a lot?

00:26:45.540 --> 00:26:47.250
- He\'s getting more mature,

00:26:47.250 --> 00:26:50.390
but with every good thing, I guess,

00:26:50.390 --> 00:26:51.730
there has to be a bad thing.

00:26:51.730 --> 00:26:54.240
And with him being more mature,

00:26:54.240 --> 00:26:57.410
I guess the more things that he knows,

00:26:57.410 --> 00:26:59.410
the more things that he can\'t express,

00:26:59.410 --> 00:27:01.760
and that\'s how he gets frustrated.

00:27:01.760 --> 00:27:03.263
- You\'re hitting me.

00:27:03.263 --> 00:27:05.110
Come on. Hold your hamster.

00:27:05.110 --> 00:27:07.093
Here we go. Ready?

00:27:08.559 --> 00:27:11.090
(inaudible) Cayden.

00:27:11.090 --> 00:27:12.020
Let\'s do this.

00:27:13.006 --> 00:27:15.150
- I would\'ve got him.

00:27:15.150 --> 00:27:16.490
- I got him.

00:27:16.490 --> 00:27:17.800
Here we go.

00:27:17.800 --> 00:27:20.850
- I learned how to treat
Cayden no different

00:27:20.850 --> 00:27:25.000
than anybody else, because my mom and dad

00:27:25.000 --> 00:27:29.453
never treated him any
different than Cooper or me.

00:27:35.102 --> 00:27:36.745
- That was Cayden.

00:27:36.745 --> 00:27:37.702
- No, it wasn\'t.

00:27:37.702 --> 00:27:38.886
- Why do you blame it on Cayden?

00:27:38.886 --> 00:27:40.230
- Because it is.

00:27:40.230 --> 00:27:42.810
- I have so learned the
meaning of not to judge

00:27:42.810 --> 00:27:46.500
a book by its cover, because I have a son

00:27:46.500 --> 00:27:51.500
that if you look at him you
would automatically think

00:27:51.640 --> 00:27:55.350
he doesn\'t feel, he doesn\'t have emotions,

00:27:55.350 --> 00:28:00.307
that he\'s not smart, that he
doesn\'t care about things.

00:28:00.307 --> 00:28:04.380
But he\'s the total opposite
if you get to know him.

00:28:04.380 --> 00:28:07.930
When you get to know him, you
understand he has feelings,

00:28:07.930 --> 00:28:09.100
because I know he does.

00:28:09.100 --> 00:28:13.180
Because if I\'m upset, or his
brothers are hurt or crying,

00:28:13.180 --> 00:28:14.410
Cayden does not like that.

00:28:14.410 --> 00:28:15.270
He cries.

00:28:15.270 --> 00:28:16.670
He gets mad.

00:28:16.670 --> 00:28:18.740
So, you tell me he doesn\'t have feelings,

00:28:18.740 --> 00:28:20.460
and I can show you different.

00:28:20.460 --> 00:28:21.383
He does.

00:28:23.520 --> 00:28:25.053
Okay, I\'m going to get it.

00:28:26.030 --> 00:28:28.203
Mama. Mama.

00:28:36.183 --> 00:28:37.930
- I think some of the
challenges that Jason\'s facing

00:28:37.930 --> 00:28:40.060
right now at the age of 25,

00:28:40.060 --> 00:28:43.260
he has a definite desire
to live independently.

00:28:43.260 --> 00:28:46.030
Any 25-year-old boy is pretty much over

00:28:46.030 --> 00:28:48.370
being at his parent\'s
house, and that\'s something

00:28:48.370 --> 00:28:50.760
that he\'s really trying
to figure out on his own.

00:28:50.760 --> 00:28:53.090
- His most perplexing issue right now,

00:28:53.090 --> 00:28:55.510
and I think maybe it\'s
an issue everybody faces,

00:28:55.510 --> 00:28:57.450
is he\'s trying to figure out,

00:28:57.450 --> 00:28:59.950
I\'m in a relationship
so what does that mean?

00:28:59.950 --> 00:29:01.520
How do I be a good boyfriend?

00:29:01.520 --> 00:29:03.160
They get together and he\'ll say,

00:29:03.160 --> 00:29:04.640
well she wants to go do this,

00:29:04.640 --> 00:29:06.400
but I really don\'t want to go do this,

00:29:06.400 --> 00:29:08.350
but I want to be the perfect boyfriend.

00:29:08.350 --> 00:29:12.772
So maybe I should go and do
this just because she wants to.

00:29:12.772 --> 00:29:15.439
- Four, five, six, seven, eight.

00:29:18.915 --> 00:29:21.832
Dance with me, step, dance with me.

00:29:26.035 --> 00:29:29.720
- We do music. We dance.

00:29:29.720 --> 00:29:33.253
We play games, but not really
my games, but her games.

00:29:34.660 --> 00:29:36.333
We watch movies on the couch.

00:29:42.030 --> 00:29:45.410
And we just stay there and
do 30 seconds of something,

00:29:45.410 --> 00:29:48.033
but I don\'t want to use the term,

00:29:48.033 --> 00:29:50.510
because it\'s just between
me and Alana, you know?

00:29:54.431 --> 00:29:57.348
We met in Dallas, Camp PALS Dallas.

00:29:59.989 --> 00:30:03.009
- Thank you.
- You\'re welcome my lady.

00:30:03.009 --> 00:30:03.842
Cheers.

00:30:04.870 --> 00:30:06.203
For you my lady.

00:30:08.910 --> 00:30:10.610
- I gave her a ring for Christmas,

00:30:10.610 --> 00:30:11.830
but I\'m not even going to propose.

00:30:11.830 --> 00:30:13.030
That\'s my greatest fear.

00:30:16.204 --> 00:30:17.037
- Why?

00:30:17.037 --> 00:30:20.010
- Because I gave her
the ring for Christmas

00:30:20.010 --> 00:30:24.966
doesn\'t mean I\'m on
the knee, or proposing.

00:30:24.966 --> 00:30:26.090
- Are you too young for marriage?

00:30:26.090 --> 00:30:28.560
- Yes, I\'m too young for that.

00:30:28.560 --> 00:30:31.643
Well actually, Alana is,
but not directly for me.

00:30:32.510 --> 00:30:33.770
- You think Alana is
too young for marriage?

00:30:33.770 --> 00:30:34.603
- Yeah.

00:30:34.603 --> 00:30:36.220
- Do you ever want to get married?

00:30:36.220 --> 00:30:40.570
- If I want to get married
it needs to be more like,

00:30:40.570 --> 00:30:43.570
she needs to be not exactly my age.

00:30:43.570 --> 00:30:46.230
More like Jenni\'s age by the way, like 27.

00:30:46.230 --> 00:30:47.350
- That\'s a good age to get married?

00:30:47.350 --> 00:30:48.183
- Yeah.

00:30:50.200 --> 00:30:52.020
- I would sing to her

00:30:52.948 --> 00:30:57.871
♪ I cross my heart and I promise to ♪

00:30:57.871 --> 00:31:02.871
♪ Give all I got to give to
make all your dreams come true ♪

00:31:03.610 --> 00:31:08.610
♪ In all the world, you\'ll never find ♪

00:31:08.947 --> 00:31:12.364
♪ A love as true as mine ♪

00:31:33.006 --> 00:31:33.908
- I\'m going to get on your red bike.

00:31:33.908 --> 00:31:34.906
- Okay.

00:31:34.906 --> 00:31:37.656
My red bike is better, I ride on.

00:31:40.143 --> 00:31:43.340
- I don\'t really get to do
a lot of things with Cayden,

00:31:43.340 --> 00:31:45.497
so I like doing triathlons with him.

00:31:45.497 --> 00:31:48.366
Do you like to race Cayden?

00:31:48.366 --> 00:31:49.770
- Yes.

00:31:49.770 --> 00:31:50.833
- Racing is loud?

00:31:51.751 --> 00:31:53.387
What\'s your favorite part?

00:31:53.387 --> 00:31:54.220
- What is your favorite?

00:31:54.220 --> 00:31:55.810
Biking?

00:31:55.810 --> 00:31:57.180
Running?

00:31:57.180 --> 00:31:58.013
Swimming?

00:32:06.620 --> 00:32:11.070
Mom gets these magazines and
I saw one of the triathlons,

00:32:11.070 --> 00:32:13.600
and I thought that it looked fun,

00:32:13.600 --> 00:32:15.520
and I thought that I
could do it with Cayden.

00:32:15.520 --> 00:32:18.690
Because, I mean you can
basically put a trailer

00:32:18.690 --> 00:32:19.890
on the back of anything.

00:32:20.780 --> 00:32:24.170
So, you could probably put a
trailer on the back of a bike,

00:32:24.170 --> 00:32:28.520
and I just asked Mom if I
could do it with Cayden.

00:32:28.520 --> 00:32:30.220
- As a mom I just rolled with it,

00:32:30.220 --> 00:32:33.390
and was like okay let\'s
try to figure it out.

00:32:33.390 --> 00:32:34.580
I can\'t promise anything.

00:32:34.580 --> 00:32:36.600
I\'m going to have to talk to race people,

00:32:36.600 --> 00:32:38.980
talk to your dad, and everything.

00:32:38.980 --> 00:32:40.510
- When I first learned
about the triathlon,

00:32:40.510 --> 00:32:42.510
I didn\'t even know what a triathlon was.

00:32:44.630 --> 00:32:46.950
Of course, we looked into it,
and we thought that\'s cool

00:32:46.950 --> 00:32:48.470
that he wants to involve his brother.

00:32:48.470 --> 00:32:52.033
That shows where his
heart\'s at, and he cares.

00:32:54.021 --> 00:32:55.540
I was really nervous.

00:32:55.540 --> 00:32:56.680
The first one we ever did,

00:32:56.680 --> 00:32:58.650
you know we\'re standing in this line,

00:32:58.650 --> 00:33:01.183
and there\'s people everywhere.

00:33:01.183 --> 00:33:02.780
Raising a kid with special needs,

00:33:02.780 --> 00:33:03.750
he\'s already in a wheelchair,

00:33:03.750 --> 00:33:06.120
and when you get into a
crowd of people like that,

00:33:06.120 --> 00:33:08.810
that\'s physically hard on you.

00:33:08.810 --> 00:33:12.000
- The feelings that we
went through on the day

00:33:12.000 --> 00:33:14.790
of the first triathlon was scary,

00:33:14.790 --> 00:33:17.780
just because we did
think what\'s the reaction

00:33:17.780 --> 00:33:18.850
of the crowd going to be?

00:33:18.850 --> 00:33:20.460
Is Cayden going to be scared?

00:33:20.460 --> 00:33:21.510
Is he going to be nervous?

00:33:21.510 --> 00:33:22.700
Is he going to like this?

00:33:22.700 --> 00:33:25.733
Is Conner going to like this?

00:33:31.129 --> 00:33:32.795
- He\'s having a hard time.
- He\'s got it.

00:33:32.795 --> 00:33:33.628
He\'s got it.

00:33:33.628 --> 00:33:35.800
- It was something that
I haven\'t done before,

00:33:35.800 --> 00:33:36.837
so I felt nervous,

00:33:36.837 --> 00:33:39.843
and I probably would\'ve even
felt nervous without Cayden.

00:33:44.583 --> 00:33:47.490
Cayden, he was having a lot of fun,

00:33:47.490 --> 00:33:51.140
but I was just worried about
not being able to finish,

00:33:51.140 --> 00:33:54.020
because I hadn\'t trained
at all for the race.

00:33:54.020 --> 00:33:57.080
Because as soon as we saw it in the ad,

00:33:57.080 --> 00:34:00.530
it was like two weeks away,
and it took us that long

00:34:00.530 --> 00:34:02.505
just to get all the equipment.

00:34:02.505 --> 00:34:04.921
- You got it Conner.

00:34:04.921 --> 00:34:05.825
Yes, Conner you did it.

00:34:05.825 --> 00:34:06.822
- Good job.

00:34:06.822 --> 00:34:07.836
- All right Conner.

00:34:07.836 --> 00:34:08.844
- Good job Conner.

00:34:08.844 --> 00:34:10.724
Good job Conner and Cayden.

00:34:10.724 --> 00:34:12.818
- Hey Conner, you\'re going to
have to stop up here. Okay?

00:34:13.820 --> 00:34:16.130
- It felt really good to finish,

00:34:16.130 --> 00:34:19.523
because it just feels good
when you accomplish something.

00:34:21.970 --> 00:34:24.850
- That first race that they had together,

00:34:24.850 --> 00:34:27.000
those smiles on their faces,

00:34:27.000 --> 00:34:30.960
that determination in Conner\'s
face to finish with Cayden,

00:34:30.960 --> 00:34:32.940
to get him through that line.

00:34:32.940 --> 00:34:34.160
I\'ll never forget that.

00:34:34.160 --> 00:34:36.980
- Seeing them achieve that together was,

00:34:36.980 --> 00:34:40.670
it was incredible to see that.

00:34:40.670 --> 00:34:43.220
That Conner took on himself
and did that with Cayden.

00:34:43.220 --> 00:34:44.620
It really meant a lot to us.

00:34:45.948 --> 00:34:48.870
I mean, here we are, we
have a special needs child,

00:34:48.870 --> 00:34:51.084
and his brother is like come on, come on.

00:34:51.084 --> 00:34:52.710
Nobody\'s left behind.

00:34:52.710 --> 00:34:57.366
- I don\'t think he really,
truly understands the impact

00:34:57.366 --> 00:34:59.770
that he\'s made on Cayden.

00:34:59.770 --> 00:35:01.800
I just don\'t think he understands that.

00:35:01.800 --> 00:35:05.980
I think he just, he\'s
just a brother out there,

00:35:05.980 --> 00:35:09.320
he\'s just a kid out there
wanting to have some fun,

00:35:09.320 --> 00:35:11.100
do something with his brother.

00:35:11.100 --> 00:35:15.660
It\'s given Cayden an outlet,
an outlet to be in society,

00:35:15.660 --> 00:35:19.230
an outlet to show that
he\'s just like anyone else,

00:35:19.230 --> 00:35:23.640
that he is a person,
he likes to do things.

00:35:23.640 --> 00:35:24.943
It\'s impacted him a lot.

00:35:40.670 --> 00:35:42.470
- The experience that you have growing up

00:35:42.470 --> 00:35:44.930
with a sibling with Down
syndrome allows you to know

00:35:44.930 --> 00:35:46.480
what it feels like to be on the outside.

00:35:46.480 --> 00:35:49.370
So, if you experience that
or you see that happening

00:35:49.370 --> 00:35:51.820
with anybody else, you can kind of feel

00:35:51.820 --> 00:35:53.550
what they\'re feeling, and
it makes you feel connected

00:35:53.550 --> 00:35:54.383
to that person.

00:35:57.290 --> 00:35:59.670
That one-to-one relationship
that Jason and I have built

00:35:59.670 --> 00:36:03.270
from day one, that opportunity
for me to know who he is,

00:36:03.270 --> 00:36:06.090
not as a person with Down
syndrome, but just as my brother,

00:36:06.090 --> 00:36:08.170
is the same opportunity
that we try to create

00:36:08.170 --> 00:36:09.363
for our counselors.

00:36:18.500 --> 00:36:21.820
We have individuals that
come into the PALS community

00:36:21.820 --> 00:36:24.070
and have maybe never met
someone with Down syndrome,

00:36:24.070 --> 00:36:27.590
or a disability before, and
walk away with an experience

00:36:27.590 --> 00:36:30.020
that will define how they
interact with someone

00:36:30.020 --> 00:36:32.370
with Down syndrome for
the rest of their lives.

00:36:36.290 --> 00:36:38.960
When my brother was born the information

00:36:38.960 --> 00:36:42.910
that my parents received
was very negative.

00:36:42.910 --> 00:36:45.910
In fact they were told you don\'t
even have to take him home.

00:36:46.760 --> 00:36:50.070
For my mom the turning
point of that experience

00:36:50.070 --> 00:36:52.710
was when a nurse came in
and showed her a picture

00:36:52.710 --> 00:36:54.580
of her son with Down syndrome.

00:36:54.580 --> 00:36:56.372
He was a five year old boy at the time,

00:36:56.372 --> 00:36:59.170
and he was playing baseball, for my mom,

00:36:59.170 --> 00:37:02.290
that experience was the
first time that she felt like

00:37:02.290 --> 00:37:05.150
she could dream about what
Jason was going to do.

00:37:05.150 --> 00:37:08.130
She felt she understood who
he might be as a person.

00:37:08.130 --> 00:37:11.180
That she felt she had permission to again,

00:37:11.180 --> 00:37:14.010
think about what he could
achieve as an individual.

00:37:14.010 --> 00:37:18.170
Today we are doing the
Congratulations Project.

00:37:18.170 --> 00:37:19.920
Raise your hand if you remember

00:37:19.920 --> 00:37:21.340
what the Congratulations Project is,

00:37:21.340 --> 00:37:22.630
maybe from years before.

00:37:22.630 --> 00:37:24.280
The most personal component for me

00:37:24.280 --> 00:37:26.670
is the PALS Congratulations Project.

00:37:26.670 --> 00:37:29.570
Where we invited our
campers to write letters

00:37:29.570 --> 00:37:32.210
to new parents of babies
with Down syndrome.

00:37:32.210 --> 00:37:34.914
We invite our campers to say
anything that they want to say,

00:37:34.914 --> 00:37:38.500
as long as their letter
starts with dear parent,

00:37:38.500 --> 00:37:40.750
congratulations on your new baby.

00:37:40.750 --> 00:37:43.140
- I think the mothers
that get these packages,

00:37:43.140 --> 00:37:45.880
I think they\'re just beside themselves

00:37:47.010 --> 00:37:49.570
with gratitude for doing it.

00:37:49.570 --> 00:37:51.850
It would\'ve made a world
of difference to us.

00:37:51.850 --> 00:37:53.727
- One woman wrote Jenni
recently and she said

00:37:53.727 --> 00:37:57.150
it was like somebody just
reached out and gave us a hand.

00:37:57.150 --> 00:37:59.040
Showed us how things could be,

00:37:59.040 --> 00:38:01.170
because it\'s a very overwhelming time

00:38:01.170 --> 00:38:03.260
and just to have someone
just say congratulations,

00:38:03.260 --> 00:38:06.580
and there are people out there,

00:38:06.580 --> 00:38:08.260
and look at what they\'re doing.

00:38:08.260 --> 00:38:11.250
- Dear parent, congratulations
on your new baby.

00:38:11.250 --> 00:38:16.190
My name is Olivia and I
am a camper at Camp PALS.

00:38:16.190 --> 00:38:18.180
In the future I want to be a swimmer.

00:38:18.180 --> 00:38:21.200
It takes hard work and a lot of training.

00:38:21.200 --> 00:38:25.920
I want to be a parent and have
a kid that has Down syndrome.

00:38:25.920 --> 00:38:30.658
And also, I will tell my kid
my life having Down syndrome.

00:38:30.658 --> 00:38:34.941
Your kid will have a great
life having this disability.

00:38:34.941 --> 00:38:35.774
And don\'t be scared.

00:38:35.774 --> 00:38:36.847
Sincerely Olivia.

00:38:46.260 --> 00:38:48.460
- Those letters get
shipped across the country,

00:38:48.460 --> 00:38:51.170
and we\'ve just been receiving
really, really incredible

00:38:51.170 --> 00:38:54.500
feedback from parents
who say congratulations

00:38:54.500 --> 00:38:56.584
was the one word I haven\'t heard.

00:38:56.584 --> 00:38:57.750
They\'re taking sponges,

00:38:57.750 --> 00:39:00.650
and they\'re passing it all the way down.

00:39:00.650 --> 00:39:02.930
The work that I have the
privilege of doing with PALS

00:39:02.930 --> 00:39:04.760
is especially meaningful to me,

00:39:04.760 --> 00:39:07.490
just because PALS has
always been something

00:39:07.490 --> 00:39:09.343
that we can participate in together.

00:39:10.280 --> 00:39:11.113
You got it.

00:39:14.320 --> 00:39:17.720
- When she transferred to
the public elementary school

00:39:17.720 --> 00:39:19.930
I had known the principal there before,

00:39:19.930 --> 00:39:21.130
because of my other kids.

00:39:21.130 --> 00:39:26.130
So, I asked if we could not use
the label mentally retarded,

00:39:26.650 --> 00:39:28.640
because I took offense to the term,

00:39:28.640 --> 00:39:30.620
and a lot of other people
took offense to the term.

00:39:30.620 --> 00:39:33.700
So he agreed that we would
put other health impaired

00:39:33.700 --> 00:39:35.290
on her IEP.

00:39:35.290 --> 00:39:38.630
- The new principal came
in and there was an effort

00:39:38.630 --> 00:39:43.060
in the county to clean up the
disability codes on the IEP\'s.

00:39:43.060 --> 00:39:44.930
I was called to an IEP meeting,

00:39:44.930 --> 00:39:47.180
and we sat down at the table.

00:39:47.180 --> 00:39:51.033
They proposed changing
it to mentally retarded.

00:39:52.297 --> 00:39:55.320
I was sort of blindsided by
the reason for the meeting.

00:39:55.320 --> 00:39:57.200
- We knew that the terminology changed,

00:39:57.200 --> 00:39:59.480
and we knew that it
really upset my parents.

00:39:59.480 --> 00:40:01.600
So, we knew that we had
to do something about it.

00:40:01.600 --> 00:40:04.200
- I had heard about Jill Egle\'s efforts,

00:40:04.200 --> 00:40:06.720
and she was already well on her way

00:40:06.720 --> 00:40:09.240
to get rid of the term in Virginia.

00:40:09.240 --> 00:40:12.123
- I became aware of the R word between

00:40:15.581 --> 00:40:16.440
age ten and up

00:40:16.440 --> 00:40:18.980
when I would hear people on the playground

00:40:18.980 --> 00:40:21.653
saying it toward me.

00:40:24.040 --> 00:40:26.130
I decided to advocate for myself,

00:40:26.130 --> 00:40:30.750
because I wanted to change terminology.

00:40:30.750 --> 00:40:35.180
My name is Jill Erin Egle,
I\'m the co-executive director

00:40:35.180 --> 00:40:36.823
of the ARC of Northern Virginia.

00:40:38.330 --> 00:40:41.520
In our self-advocacy group, People First,

00:40:41.520 --> 00:40:43.543
we don\'t like the R word.

00:40:44.900 --> 00:40:48.273
Which is labeled and stands for retarded.

00:40:49.260 --> 00:40:52.000
We don\'t like it, because
it hurts our feelings

00:40:52.000 --> 00:40:54.160
and it puts us down in our lifetime.

00:40:54.160 --> 00:40:58.780
We all came together to change
mildly mentally retarded

00:40:58.780 --> 00:41:02.660
to intellectual disability
down in Richmond

00:41:02.660 --> 00:41:06.360
with the governor, and we all testified.

00:41:06.360 --> 00:41:10.920
It took within six months
for the bill to become a law.

00:41:10.920 --> 00:41:14.490
- Not everybody\'s principal
beforehand let them

00:41:14.490 --> 00:41:17.083
have that other label,
other health impaired.

00:41:17.965 --> 00:41:20.960
I mean, I wasn\'t the only one,
and I knew it was going on.

00:41:20.960 --> 00:41:23.100
It just hit home at that meeting.

00:41:23.100 --> 00:41:26.660
And I mean, honestly, the
emotion of that day turned

00:41:26.660 --> 00:41:30.626
into anger, and that\'s
what sort of, you know,

00:41:30.626 --> 00:41:33.460
pushed me to act quickly.

00:41:33.460 --> 00:41:37.670
- My parents kind of handled
contacting our local delegates

00:41:37.670 --> 00:41:41.730
like Ted Sophocleus and Bob
Costas to get their say on it,

00:41:41.730 --> 00:41:45.742
and if they thought that we
could actually make a change.

00:41:45.742 --> 00:41:46.990
In the meantime, my sisters and I,

00:41:46.990 --> 00:41:48.520
we started with petitions.

00:41:48.520 --> 00:41:50.920
- We had to explain, and
be like yeah our sister

00:41:50.920 --> 00:41:54.480
got switched to this terminology,
and it\'s like degrading,

00:41:54.480 --> 00:41:56.340
and we didn\'t want her
to be associated with it.

00:41:56.340 --> 00:41:59.250
And after we got so many petitions signed

00:41:59.250 --> 00:42:01.940
that we realized how
many people understood

00:42:01.940 --> 00:42:03.220
where we were coming from.

00:42:03.220 --> 00:42:05.430
- All the kids did their
part, gave their talks.

00:42:05.430 --> 00:42:06.900
They talked at school.

00:42:06.900 --> 00:42:09.161
We just wanted to spread the word.

00:42:09.161 --> 00:42:11.260
When we were approaching the end,

00:42:11.260 --> 00:42:13.340
when the bill had been drafted,

00:42:13.340 --> 00:42:17.010
and it had gone through
the process in Maryland,

00:42:17.010 --> 00:42:20.260
at one of our last meetings
Ted actually proposed

00:42:20.260 --> 00:42:22.550
the idea of calling it Rosa\'s Law.

00:42:22.550 --> 00:42:23.960
He thought it was a good way

00:42:23.960 --> 00:42:26.563
to put a face behind the effort.

00:42:27.700 --> 00:42:31.170
We needed a representative
from our family to testify,

00:42:31.170 --> 00:42:32.980
to give it a more personal feel.

00:42:32.980 --> 00:42:37.000
So we decided that we would
all write the speech together,

00:42:37.000 --> 00:42:39.870
but that Nick would present it.

00:42:39.870 --> 00:42:42.860
- Some people say that
they are just words,

00:42:42.860 --> 00:42:44.370
and it\'s not going to make a difference

00:42:44.370 --> 00:42:46.190
if we just change words.

00:42:46.190 --> 00:42:48.330
Some say we shouldn\'t
worry about the words,

00:42:48.330 --> 00:42:50.301
just the way we treat people.

00:42:50.301 --> 00:42:51.657
But if you think about it,

00:42:51.657 --> 00:42:54.920
what you call people is
how you treat people.

00:42:54.920 --> 00:42:57.920
If we change the words,
maybe it\'ll be a start

00:42:57.920 --> 00:42:59.520
of a new attitude towards people

00:42:59.520 --> 00:43:01.837
with intellectual disabilities.

00:43:01.837 --> 00:43:03.501
And they deserve it.

00:43:03.501 --> 00:43:04.830
I looked up and everyone
was kind of sitting there

00:43:04.830 --> 00:43:05.840
smiling at me.

00:43:05.840 --> 00:43:07.960
It felt like they were
connected to me in a certain way

00:43:07.960 --> 00:43:10.670
by hearing my story,
and my firsthand account

00:43:10.670 --> 00:43:12.557
of living with Rosa.

00:43:12.557 --> 00:43:16.940
How it can really affect
someone in a negative way,

00:43:16.940 --> 00:43:18.520
just the label itself.

00:43:18.520 --> 00:43:19.970
- After it passed in Maryland,

00:43:19.970 --> 00:43:21.860
Senator Mikulski was true to her word,

00:43:21.860 --> 00:43:24.743
and she immediately contacted me,

00:43:26.130 --> 00:43:29.010
and went to work in the Senate.

00:43:29.010 --> 00:43:30.710
And again, there was no opposition.

00:43:30.710 --> 00:43:33.140
It was a bipartisan effort.

00:43:33.140 --> 00:43:35.940
- Today I rise to introduce legislation

00:43:35.940 --> 00:43:38.840
that I\'m calling Rosa\'s Law.

00:43:38.840 --> 00:43:42.570
It began by listening to
the people in my own state.

00:43:42.570 --> 00:43:45.130
By a mother telling me a compelling story

00:43:45.130 --> 00:43:48.070
about her own daughter,
her families efforts

00:43:48.070 --> 00:43:52.360
to give her daughter an
opportunity for an education,

00:43:52.360 --> 00:43:56.220
and to be treated with
respect, and with dignity.

00:43:56.220 --> 00:43:59.140
And at the same time the
advocacy of not only she

00:43:59.140 --> 00:44:01.850
and her husband, but of her entire family,

00:44:01.850 --> 00:44:05.193
including testifying at the
Maryland General Assembly.

00:44:06.178 --> 00:44:08.360
- You grow up kind of
knowing what the Senate

00:44:08.360 --> 00:44:10.510
is in our history
classes in middle school,

00:44:10.510 --> 00:44:11.343
and stuff like that.

00:44:11.343 --> 00:44:15.590
We\'d always watch C-SPAN
videos about what happened

00:44:15.590 --> 00:44:16.810
on the Senate floor, but it\'s weird

00:44:16.810 --> 00:44:18.320
when you\'re actually
there and they\'re talking

00:44:18.320 --> 00:44:20.520
about something that\'s
relating to your family.

00:44:20.520 --> 00:44:23.750
- And that\'s what I stand
on Senate floor today,

00:44:23.750 --> 00:44:25.960
at the request of the family,

00:44:25.960 --> 00:44:29.620
and behalf of this little
girl, and behalf of all

00:44:29.620 --> 00:44:32.200
of the children of the
United States of America

00:44:32.200 --> 00:44:35.350
who are labeled, stigmatized,

00:44:35.350 --> 00:44:38.460
and bear a burden the rest of their life,

00:44:38.460 --> 00:44:41.940
because of the language
we use in the law books.

00:44:41.940 --> 00:44:46.940
My law simply today, changes
the phrase mentally retarded

00:44:47.690 --> 00:44:49.840
to intellectually disabled.

00:44:49.840 --> 00:44:53.980
And we do it in health,
education, and labor policy

00:44:53.980 --> 00:44:57.670
with out in any way negatively impinging

00:44:57.670 --> 00:45:00.840
upon either the educational
or other benefits

00:45:00.840 --> 00:45:03.900
that these children are entitled to.

00:45:03.900 --> 00:45:07.483
- Eight months after
that, I got a call at home

00:45:07.483 --> 00:45:11.640
from the Senator, and she
told me that it had passed.

00:45:11.640 --> 00:45:14.630
- I think going to the
White House was probably

00:45:14.630 --> 00:45:16.510
like one of the coolest
things I\'ve ever done.

00:45:16.510 --> 00:45:18.970
It was really cool, because
we\'re just normal people

00:45:18.970 --> 00:45:21.157
and we were there, and
we met the president,

00:45:21.157 --> 00:45:22.370
and he hugged us.

00:45:22.370 --> 00:45:23.893
- The president actually
signed Rosa\'s Law,

00:45:23.893 --> 00:45:25.037
I think the previous week,

00:45:25.037 --> 00:45:27.470
but this was a ceremonial signing.

00:45:27.470 --> 00:45:30.010
- Well on Tuesday I signed Rosa\'s Law.

00:45:30.010 --> 00:45:33.220
This is named for a
nine-year-old girl, right there,

00:45:33.220 --> 00:45:35.064
Rosa, wave to everybody.

00:45:35.064 --> 00:45:38.231
(audience applauding)

00:45:47.304 --> 00:45:49.510
I think Rosa\'s brother Nick put it best.

00:45:49.510 --> 00:45:50.510
Where\'s Nick?

00:45:50.510 --> 00:45:52.010
You right there, Nick?

00:45:52.010 --> 00:45:53.500
You can wave too. Go ahead.

00:45:53.500 --> 00:45:55.540
(audience laughing)

00:45:55.540 --> 00:45:58.970
But I want everybody to
hear Nick\'s wisdom here.

00:45:58.970 --> 00:46:01.883
He said, what you call
people is how you treat them.

00:46:02.870 --> 00:46:05.720
If we change the words,
maybe it\'ll be the start

00:46:05.720 --> 00:46:09.310
of a new attitude towards
people with disabilities.

00:46:09.310 --> 00:46:11.522
That\'s a lot of wisdom from Nick.

00:46:11.522 --> 00:46:14.520
(audience applauding)

00:46:14.520 --> 00:46:16.240
- You want to talk about Rosa\'s Law?

00:46:16.240 --> 00:46:17.073
- Yes.

00:46:17.073 --> 00:46:18.777
- What was your favorite
part about Rosa\'s Law?

00:46:18.777 --> 00:46:22.752
- Well we went to the White
House to meet President Obama,

00:46:22.752 --> 00:46:24.583
to write my law.

00:46:24.583 --> 00:46:27.734
And he is more handsome
than other presidents,

00:46:27.734 --> 00:46:31.142
it was so much fun there
at the White House.

00:46:31.142 --> 00:46:36.142
He is the president, he wrote
my law, and he signed my law.

00:46:39.730 --> 00:46:41.126
- He hugged you too, right?

00:46:41.126 --> 00:46:41.959
- Yeah, he hugged me.
- Did you like that?

00:46:41.959 --> 00:46:43.360
- Yeah, I like that.
- You liked a lot. Yeah.

00:46:43.360 --> 00:46:44.650
There was a lot of pictures.

00:46:44.650 --> 00:46:46.510
Did you like all the pictures
that everyone took of you?

00:46:46.510 --> 00:46:48.900
- Yes, but I was...

00:46:48.900 --> 00:46:50.030
- You\'re famous?

00:46:50.030 --> 00:46:50.863
- Yeah, I\'m famous.

00:46:50.863 --> 00:46:53.407
I\'m in newspapers and magazines.

00:46:53.407 --> 00:46:55.533
For my friends, it\'s cool for them.

00:46:56.960 --> 00:46:58.820
- When we got it passed
at the federal-level

00:46:58.820 --> 00:47:02.275
I think it sort of prompted
most of the other states

00:47:02.275 --> 00:47:04.750
to look at doing the same thing.

00:47:04.750 --> 00:47:06.827
- I think this whole
experience with Rosa\'s Law

00:47:06.827 --> 00:47:10.100
has kind of taught me that
so many people out there

00:47:10.100 --> 00:47:12.270
don\'t really have a say on something

00:47:12.270 --> 00:47:14.470
that can effect their
life in such a big way.

00:47:14.470 --> 00:47:15.960
- It was empowering I think,

00:47:15.960 --> 00:47:19.740
to know that people really
do care, and people listen.

00:47:19.740 --> 00:47:23.230
- So every day, when I get
ready to wear my earrings

00:47:23.230 --> 00:47:25.790
to work, I\'ve looked at your button.

00:47:25.790 --> 00:47:27.200
And you know why?

00:47:27.200 --> 00:47:30.920
I didn\'t want to forget you,
and I didn\'t want to forget

00:47:30.920 --> 00:47:33.163
all the other kids that
were counting on me.

00:47:39.150 --> 00:47:42.030
(school bell ringing)

00:47:42.030 --> 00:47:43.930
- I was really lucky to
have a very good friend

00:47:43.930 --> 00:47:46.040
of our family\'s named Loretta Claiborne.

00:47:46.040 --> 00:47:48.490
She was a Special Olympics gold medalist,

00:47:48.490 --> 00:47:51.430
and a leader within the
Special Olympics Movement.

00:47:51.430 --> 00:47:54.030
And she came in and spoke to our class.

00:47:54.030 --> 00:47:55.600
And just before she
left she said something,

00:47:55.600 --> 00:47:58.840
she said do you guys know
the saying sticks and stones?

00:47:58.840 --> 00:48:01.580
- Sticks and stones break my bones,

00:48:01.580 --> 00:48:03.373
but names will never hurt.

00:48:04.640 --> 00:48:09.640
Well young people, that\'s the
worst thing I would ever say,

00:48:12.920 --> 00:48:15.280
and I\'ll tell you the reason why.

00:48:15.280 --> 00:48:16.740
- And she said, you know the thing is

00:48:16.740 --> 00:48:18.840
I\'ve been in a lot of fights.

00:48:18.840 --> 00:48:23.230
I\'ve been bruised many times,
and I\'ve always recovered.

00:48:23.230 --> 00:48:25.350
But, the things that have
always hurt my heart,

00:48:25.350 --> 00:48:28.003
that stick with me forever are words.

00:48:28.965 --> 00:48:31.500
So be really, really careful
may about the words you use,

00:48:31.500 --> 00:48:34.260
because those are the most
powerful weapons you have.

00:48:34.260 --> 00:48:37.590
And in particular there\'s one
word that hurts me the most,

00:48:37.590 --> 00:48:39.340
and it\'s the word retard,

00:48:39.340 --> 00:48:41.600
because it\'s a word that\'s
used about people like me.

00:48:41.600 --> 00:48:43.485
To put people like me down,

00:48:43.485 --> 00:48:45.570
to put people like me in institutions,

00:48:45.570 --> 00:48:48.560
like I was put as a kid
when I was your age.

00:48:48.560 --> 00:48:51.980
So please, think about the word retard.

00:48:51.980 --> 00:48:53.090
Think about the words you use,

00:48:53.090 --> 00:48:55.897
and remember they\'re
really powerful weapons,

00:48:55.897 --> 00:48:57.913
and you get to decide how you use them.

00:48:58.790 --> 00:49:00.540
- If you think that doesn\'t hurt,

00:49:00.540 --> 00:49:02.310
I could ask either one of you,

00:49:02.310 --> 00:49:04.700
how many of you been called names?

00:49:04.700 --> 00:49:06.747
How many of you been
treated wrong in school?

00:49:06.747 --> 00:49:08.400
The first thing you will remember,

00:49:08.400 --> 00:49:10.250
if I come back to you ten years later,

00:49:10.250 --> 00:49:13.310
that oh so and so used
to call me sticker face,

00:49:13.310 --> 00:49:17.560
or snicker face, or pot
hole face, or whatever.

00:49:17.560 --> 00:49:19.730
You remember those names in your 20s.

00:49:19.730 --> 00:49:22.088
You remember those names
when you\'re in your 30s,

00:49:22.088 --> 00:49:23.270
and 40s, and 50s.

00:49:23.270 --> 00:49:25.650
They live with you forever.

00:49:25.650 --> 00:49:27.650
- So, the old cliche of sticks and stones

00:49:27.650 --> 00:49:30.543
may break my bones, but
names never hurt is a lie.

00:49:31.460 --> 00:49:35.710
And young people, names do hurt.

00:49:35.710 --> 00:49:38.088
- But I was really challenged
that day by Loretta,

00:49:38.088 --> 00:49:41.250
to take it up as something
that I had to stand for.

00:49:41.250 --> 00:49:43.060
On behalf of her, and on
behalf of all the people

00:49:43.060 --> 00:49:44.900
that have intellectual disabilities,
and behalf of all of us

00:49:44.900 --> 00:49:47.229
without intellectual disabilities,

00:49:47.229 --> 00:49:49.530
to recognize the power of our words.

00:49:49.530 --> 00:49:53.250
- Do you ever personally use the word?

00:49:53.250 --> 00:49:55.640
- Yeah, like I said, but not meaning

00:49:57.110 --> 00:50:00.380
someone with a mental deficiency, no.

00:50:00.380 --> 00:50:02.300
- But it does creep in
there unfortunately.

00:50:02.300 --> 00:50:03.540
I\'ll admit it.

00:50:03.540 --> 00:50:05.100
- Sometimes, maybe if I\'m
hot tempered or something

00:50:05.100 --> 00:50:07.420
like that I might call somebody a retard,

00:50:07.420 --> 00:50:09.840
but I\'m pretty conscious
of what I say to people,

00:50:09.840 --> 00:50:11.390
because I know words can hurt.

00:50:11.390 --> 00:50:15.420
- Maybe once every six
months kind of accidentally.

00:50:15.420 --> 00:50:17.400
- I mean, I know it\'s not
like politically correct,

00:50:17.400 --> 00:50:19.960
but because of the root word

00:50:19.960 --> 00:50:24.100
I feel like it\'s not
coming from a bad place.

00:50:24.100 --> 00:50:24.933
You know?

00:50:24.933 --> 00:50:27.005
- Once in a while yes, I am guilty of it.

00:50:27.005 --> 00:50:28.584
- I\'ve used it a couple of times.

00:50:28.584 --> 00:50:29.430
I\'m not going to lie.

00:50:29.430 --> 00:50:30.990
Yeah, and I probably still do.

00:50:30.990 --> 00:50:34.030
- I think amongst like
friends, if you know them

00:50:34.030 --> 00:50:36.290
and you use it loosely, I think it\'s fine.

00:50:36.290 --> 00:50:40.510
- A lot of times I use it as
an offense to offend a person,

00:50:40.510 --> 00:50:44.390
because I feel like they\'re
not getting my point.

00:50:44.390 --> 00:50:48.790
- It\'s a pretty retarded insult
to call someone a retard,

00:50:48.790 --> 00:50:50.020
because come on.

00:50:50.020 --> 00:50:50.980
You can\'t do better than that?

00:50:50.980 --> 00:50:52.560
- I feel bad saying
this, but I find it hard

00:50:52.560 --> 00:50:55.640
to think of another word that describes

00:50:55.640 --> 00:50:59.260
what I\'m trying to
describe, but I always know

00:50:59.260 --> 00:51:02.793
that it\'s wrong, because
that\'s not what the word means.

00:51:08.280 --> 00:51:10.200
- The hardest thing for
me to see growing up

00:51:10.200 --> 00:51:15.200
was that Jason wasn\'t always
aware of the looks, the stares,

00:51:15.330 --> 00:51:19.180
the side comments, the
mocking that would happen

00:51:19.180 --> 00:51:21.230
to him in middle school and high school.

00:51:21.230 --> 00:51:24.190
As a sibling I struggled
with whether I was happier

00:51:24.190 --> 00:51:27.970
that he didn\'t know it
existed, or if I was angrier

00:51:27.970 --> 00:51:30.130
that he didn\'t even have a
chance to stand up for himself,

00:51:30.130 --> 00:51:32.680
because a lot of these people
he thought were being silly

00:51:32.680 --> 00:51:33.580
or were being his friends.

00:51:33.580 --> 00:51:35.480
When in reality they were mocking him.

00:51:40.330 --> 00:51:41.960
- If you\'ve ever noticed when people say,

00:51:41.960 --> 00:51:45.250
oh he\'s acting so retarded and they\'ll go,

00:51:45.250 --> 00:51:47.045
he\'s acting so retarded.

00:51:47.045 --> 00:51:51.050
They change their tone and their voice

00:51:51.050 --> 00:51:55.230
to act like someone
that might speak slower,

00:51:55.230 --> 00:51:58.248
or might have a speech problem.

00:51:58.248 --> 00:52:00.810
You know, so you automatically...

00:52:00.810 --> 00:52:04.160
It puts that stigma on Cayden
when he might be grunting

00:52:04.160 --> 00:52:06.520
to be trying to say mama or something,

00:52:06.520 --> 00:52:08.783
because Cayden goes Mama.

00:52:16.400 --> 00:52:19.130
- Jason and I attended the
World\'s Special Olympics Games

00:52:19.130 --> 00:52:21.320
in Boise, Idaho in 2009.

00:52:21.320 --> 00:52:22.900
Which is when Soeren and Timbo launched

00:52:22.900 --> 00:52:24.980
the Spread The Word To
End The Word Campaign.

00:52:24.980 --> 00:52:28.660
Jason, after sitting in
silence for about an hour

00:52:28.660 --> 00:52:31.750
as we discussed, spoke
up about his experiences.

00:52:31.750 --> 00:52:35.600
About the times that people
had called him the R word.

00:52:35.600 --> 00:52:39.032
It was the first time that
I saw Jason put a label

00:52:39.032 --> 00:52:41.080
on the experiences he has had.

00:52:41.080 --> 00:52:43.592
He turned and said I\'ve heard that word,

00:52:43.592 --> 00:52:45.680
I know that\'s bullying now.

00:52:45.680 --> 00:52:50.520
- When I was younger I used
to complain to my teacher

00:52:50.520 --> 00:52:55.520
about people who called me the
R word, and other bad names.

00:52:56.070 --> 00:53:01.070
I want other people to know
how hurtful this word is.

00:53:02.930 --> 00:53:06.429
- I know what it\'s like
to be treated differently,

00:53:06.429 --> 00:53:08.527
because of one word.

00:53:08.527 --> 00:53:12.100
- I just don\'t like the word retarded.

00:53:12.100 --> 00:53:14.853
- And why don\'t you
like the word retarded?

00:53:16.009 --> 00:53:21.009
- Because I feel kind of different, upset,

00:53:24.260 --> 00:53:25.890
and my feelings would get hurt

00:53:25.890 --> 00:53:29.910
if someone said that
to me right to my face.

00:53:29.910 --> 00:53:32.520
- It was just like being
called a nigger basically,

00:53:32.520 --> 00:53:37.520
or being called a B, or
a ho, but only to me,

00:53:38.660 --> 00:53:40.610
to a lot of other kids they seen that

00:53:40.610 --> 00:53:43.752
as meaning nothing to them.

00:53:43.752 --> 00:53:48.610
But to me it was equivalent
to being called a nigger.

00:53:48.610 --> 00:53:53.323
- It made me feel like,
like someone hates me.

00:53:55.200 --> 00:53:59.480
Like when you\'re being said
the R word in front of you,

00:53:59.480 --> 00:54:03.240
it\'s like someone
slapping you in the face.

00:54:03.240 --> 00:54:05.230
- Has someone ever called you the R word,

00:54:05.230 --> 00:54:06.860
or any other names?

00:54:06.860 --> 00:54:08.050
- Yes.

00:54:08.050 --> 00:54:13.050
There are two older boys who pushed me

00:54:14.090 --> 00:54:17.773
and forced me to eat sand,
and called me a retard.

00:54:21.290 --> 00:54:25.512
- I fight the term, only because
that I, and others like me,

00:54:25.512 --> 00:54:28.520
feel discriminated against.

00:54:28.520 --> 00:54:33.520
- If you put yourself in
another person\'s shoes

00:54:34.020 --> 00:54:39.020
that has a disability, and
somebody else called you

00:54:39.140 --> 00:54:42.423
the R word it would be hurtful to you.

00:54:43.700 --> 00:54:45.640
And sometimes you have to put yourself

00:54:45.640 --> 00:54:48.700
in other people\'s shoes
to see how bad really

00:54:48.700 --> 00:54:50.817
something can hurt you.

00:55:00.085 --> 00:55:01.835
- Here boy. Here boy.

00:55:05.563 --> 00:55:06.928
- Don\'t throw it yet.

00:55:06.928 --> 00:55:08.629
Here get the water out.

00:55:08.629 --> 00:55:09.626
Squeeze it.

00:55:09.626 --> 00:55:11.069
Don\'t throw it yet.

00:55:11.069 --> 00:55:13.340
Turn it upside down.

00:55:13.340 --> 00:55:14.173
There you go.

00:55:14.173 --> 00:55:15.006
Come on D.

00:55:15.006 --> 00:55:16.193
Wait a sec, wait, wait, wait.

00:55:20.810 --> 00:55:25.148
- My mom is still crying about
graduating the 8th grade.

00:55:25.148 --> 00:55:26.365
- About you graduating the 8th grade?

00:55:26.365 --> 00:55:27.805
You\'re not even in the 8th grade yet.

00:55:27.805 --> 00:55:30.429
- Excuse me I\'m in 7th grade now.

00:55:30.429 --> 00:55:32.110
- You\'re in 7th, so next year
you\'ll be in 8th grade, right?

00:55:32.110 --> 00:55:33.426
- Yeah.

00:55:33.426 --> 00:55:35.245
- Then you go to high
school, are you excited?

00:55:35.245 --> 00:55:36.706
And then college.

00:55:36.706 --> 00:55:38.750
- Do you know where you
want to go to college?

00:55:38.750 --> 00:55:40.920
- I don\'t know exactly, I don\'t know.

00:55:40.920 --> 00:55:42.060
- You don\'t know exactly?

00:55:42.060 --> 00:55:43.590
Yeah, you have a lot of time to look.

00:55:43.590 --> 00:55:45.660
- She\'ll ask to look at the college book.

00:55:45.660 --> 00:55:47.090
She thumbs through it.

00:55:47.090 --> 00:55:51.130
I want Rosa to know that she
can do most of the things

00:55:51.130 --> 00:55:52.800
that her siblings can do.

00:55:52.800 --> 00:55:57.800
I hope that the R Word Movement,
and not just Rosa\'s Law,

00:55:57.870 --> 00:56:01.970
the whole movement, I hope
that it empowers people.

00:56:01.970 --> 00:56:04.380
Especially self advocates,
because we\'ve seen

00:56:04.380 --> 00:56:09.100
some wonderful and sweeping
reform that has been caused

00:56:09.100 --> 00:56:11.410
by self advocates.

00:56:11.410 --> 00:56:12.940
We have a long way to go I think,

00:56:12.940 --> 00:56:16.460
and I\'d love for Rosa to be
able to advocate for herself,

00:56:16.460 --> 00:56:20.843
and maybe Rosa could take
on the US Senate next time.

00:56:26.770 --> 00:56:30.827
- It makes me feel good now
that through all the hard work,

00:56:30.827 --> 00:56:34.470
and all those triathlons we were announced

00:56:34.470 --> 00:56:37.440
Sports Illustrated, and we
didn\'t even know it was coming.

00:56:37.440 --> 00:56:39.410
So it felt pretty cool.

00:56:39.410 --> 00:56:42.700
Now that all the attention that we\'ve had,

00:56:42.700 --> 00:56:44.820
that we had the playground built,

00:56:44.820 --> 00:56:48.120
now that we have playground
Cayden can roll around

00:56:48.120 --> 00:56:50.533
by himself and do
everything that he wants.

00:56:53.497 --> 00:56:57.420
And it feels good to see
him laugh and have fun,

00:56:57.420 --> 00:57:01.500
because he normally
wouldn\'t be able to do that.

00:57:01.500 --> 00:57:04.410
- I know in my heart that
they love each other,

00:57:04.410 --> 00:57:08.760
and they will always find a way
to be connected as brothers.

00:57:08.760 --> 00:57:10.817
- Those are not mix-match
mom. They\'re hipster socks.

00:57:21.005 --> 00:57:22.570
Come on go higher.

00:57:22.570 --> 00:57:26.750
- I\'m proud of myself, not
just being in a relationship

00:57:26.750 --> 00:57:29.480
with my girlfriend, but having a sister

00:57:29.480 --> 00:57:31.290
and stopping the R word.

00:57:31.290 --> 00:57:32.600
That\'s what I\'m proud of.

00:57:32.600 --> 00:57:36.750
- I want Jason to have every
opportunity that he wants.

00:57:36.750 --> 00:57:38.482
I want to him to be...

00:57:38.482 --> 00:57:39.840
It\'s emotional.

00:57:39.840 --> 00:57:42.040
I want Jason to have a wife.

00:57:42.040 --> 00:57:44.460
I want Jason to have an apartment.

00:57:44.460 --> 00:57:47.320
I want Jason to have a job that he loves

00:57:47.320 --> 00:57:49.630
and is proud of every single day.

00:57:49.630 --> 00:57:52.150
I want Jason to have
friends that come over,

00:57:52.150 --> 00:57:54.050
and that care about him,

00:57:54.050 --> 00:57:56.960
and that want to be a part of his life.

00:57:56.960 --> 00:58:00.130
I want Jason to have a
supportive community around him,

00:58:00.130 --> 00:58:03.920
and to exist in a world
where I don\'t have to worry

00:58:03.920 --> 00:58:06.390
if people are looking at him oddly,

00:58:06.390 --> 00:58:11.300
or are going to judge
him, or going to see him

00:58:11.300 --> 00:58:12.490
for something that he\'s not.

00:58:12.490 --> 00:58:15.140
I want Jason to be 60 or 70 years old,

00:58:15.140 --> 00:58:17.550
and to say yeah this is the best.

00:58:17.550 --> 00:58:20.130
I love my life, and I love
everything I\'ve achieved,

00:58:20.130 --> 00:58:22.073
and I am so proud of who I am.

00:58:28.730 --> 00:58:31.970
- So, will the R-word cease to exist?

00:58:31.970 --> 00:58:35.623
Will the world eventually see
my sister the same way I do?

00:58:36.521 --> 00:58:37.840
That I don\'t know.

00:58:37.840 --> 00:58:41.680
What I do know is that as
we try to coexist in a world

00:58:41.680 --> 00:58:45.420
that seems increasingly resistant
to perceived difference,

00:58:45.420 --> 00:58:49.160
a small gesture like rethinking
how we use our language

00:58:49.160 --> 00:58:51.420
can go a long way towards understanding

00:58:51.420 --> 00:58:53.703
our shared human experience.

00:58:55.270 --> 00:58:59.550
- Changing the language is not
enough to change a culture,

00:58:59.550 --> 00:59:01.070
it\'s not enough to change laws,

00:59:01.070 --> 00:59:03.560
it\'s not enough to change
behavior, but it\'s an important

00:59:03.560 --> 00:59:06.700
dimension of changing all those things.

00:59:06.700 --> 00:59:08.840
And it\'s the one that everyone can do.

00:59:08.840 --> 00:59:10.610
Not everyone can write a new law,

00:59:10.610 --> 00:59:13.690
not everyone can be trained
as a special educator,

00:59:13.690 --> 00:59:16.360
not everyone can hire a person
in their place of business,

00:59:16.360 --> 00:59:18.542
not everyone can open their neighborhood

00:59:18.542 --> 00:59:20.870
to a person with an
intellectual disability,

00:59:20.870 --> 00:59:25.870
but everyone, everyone
can change their language.

00:59:26.220 --> 00:59:30.150
- It feels like you\'re
a part of a giant world

00:59:30.150 --> 00:59:34.400
where people can accept
people for who they are,

00:59:34.400 --> 00:59:36.513
and for who they want to be.

00:59:38.480 --> 00:59:41.983
What people need now is love.

00:59:46.696 --> 00:59:47.529
- Perfect.

00:59:47.529 --> 00:59:49.207
- Oh, I like that.

00:59:49.207 --> 00:59:50.807
- You like it?
- Oh, yes, I do.

00:59:51.688 --> 00:59:53.650
- You like the way it looks?

00:59:53.650 --> 00:59:55.193
It is not an easy name.

00:59:56.910 --> 00:59:58.710
You know, if you think Obama\'s hard.

01:00:00.904 --> 01:00:05.904
(people chattering)
(hopeful music)

01:01:46.050 --> 01:01:47.938
- I think Frank and I
should go on the road.

01:01:47.938 --> 01:01:49.433
Call it the Frank and David Show.

01:01:50.616 --> 01:01:51.458
- What would you guys talk about

01:01:51.458 --> 01:01:52.840
on the Frank and David Show?

01:01:52.840 --> 01:01:54.861
- Well it could be anything.

01:01:54.861 --> 01:01:55.858
What do you think Frank?

01:01:55.858 --> 01:01:56.861
- Yeah. It could be fun.

01:01:56.861 --> 01:01:57.694
It could be humorous.

01:01:57.694 --> 01:01:58.872
- Absolutely.

01:01:58.872 --> 01:01:59.705
- It could be funny.

01:01:59.705 --> 01:02:03.243
It could be romantic.

01:02:04.740 --> 01:02:07.960
- Well that will apply if
we have any girlfriends.

01:02:07.960 --> 01:02:08.957
- Right.

01:02:08.957 --> 01:02:10.701
- Do you guys have girlfriends?

01:02:10.701 --> 01:02:12.034
- Frank, do you?

01:02:14.634 --> 01:02:17.884
- Not right now, but I\'m still looking.

01:02:20.770 --> 01:02:22.180
- What kinds of things do
you like to do for fun?

01:02:22.180 --> 01:02:24.980
- Okay, I do NASCAR.

01:02:24.980 --> 01:02:26.530
- You don\'t do NASCAR.

01:02:26.530 --> 01:02:27.547
- Yes I do.

01:02:27.547 --> 01:02:28.660
- When?
- PS2.

01:02:28.660 --> 01:02:30.477
- Okay, so you like to play video games?

01:02:30.477 --> 01:02:31.576
- Thank you.

01:02:31.576 --> 01:02:32.578
- Go ahead.

01:02:32.578 --> 01:02:34.790
- But it\'s NASCAR video games.

01:02:34.790 --> 01:02:38.840
PS2, Xbox, Nintendo, Wii.

01:02:38.840 --> 01:02:39.930
- Okay. Let\'s make...

01:02:39.930 --> 01:02:41.220
Those aren\'t things that you...

01:02:41.220 --> 01:02:42.300
What do you do for fun?

01:02:42.300 --> 01:02:43.310
What kinds of things are fun?

01:02:43.310 --> 01:02:44.143
We talk about sports, working out.

01:02:45.618 --> 01:02:46.470
Okay, okay, okay.

01:02:46.470 --> 01:02:48.123
Okay, okay Jenni.

01:02:48.123 --> 01:02:50.116
Whoa too much from Jenni here.

01:02:55.110 --> 01:02:56.220
- He\'s professional.

01:02:56.220 --> 01:02:57.163
I like that.

01:02:58.010 --> 01:03:01.363
He\'s got a lot of stuff going for him.

01:03:04.130 --> 01:03:05.870
He\'s basically the all around good guy.

01:03:05.870 --> 01:03:08.940
I mean he likes to make people laugh.

01:03:08.940 --> 01:03:12.031
He likes to make people...

01:03:15.465 --> 01:03:16.806
Get up and dance.

01:03:19.850 --> 01:03:20.737
He likes to--

01:03:26.440 --> 01:03:31.153
- Oh gosh, I like to do
anything on my day off.

01:03:32.220 --> 01:03:34.393
Have fun, go to a party.

01:03:35.650 --> 01:03:36.483
- Dance?

01:03:36.483 --> 01:03:38.513
- Dance, pick up men.

01:03:43.560 --> 01:03:48.560
- Like I say in my speeches,
I am a goal defending,

01:03:49.400 --> 01:03:52.067
home run hitting, dead eye putting,

01:03:52.067 --> 01:03:54.600
three-point shooting power forward.

01:03:54.600 --> 01:03:56.830
Though not all at the same time.

01:03:56.830 --> 01:04:00.163
And yes, Jose Conseco has
never mentioned my name.

01:04:01.290 --> 01:04:04.023
All this, and steroid free!

01:04:05.438 --> 01:04:08.584
- And we all want to say spread
the word to end the R word.

01:04:08.584 --> 01:04:10.370
- To end the R word.

01:04:10.370 --> 01:04:12.723
- Yeah!
(applauding)

01:04:17.910 --> 01:04:20.577
(upbeat music)