Shadow Girl
- Description
- Reviews
- Citation
- Cataloging
- Transcript
SHADOW GIRL is the extraordinary story of a filmmaker struggling with the prospect of losing her vision. While editing her last film in Toronto, Chilean-born filmmaker María Teresa Larraín suddenly begins to go blind. After she’s denied disability benefits by the Canadian government, she returns home to Chile. There, inspired by the resilience and wisdom of the blind street vendors she meets, María Teresa confronts her fears and steps courageously into her new life while reclaiming her dignity and her voice as an artist. This powerful and poetic film raises complex questions about art and “vision,” able and dis-abled, and poverty and privilege.
"Larrain has become a paradoxical artist, a blind filmmaker committed to creating images she can no longer see."
 The Globe and Mail
"Extraordinary. Beyond its stylistic triumphs, Shadow Girl is a powerful look at how one woman learns to cope with disability."
 Toronto Film Scene
"As much as this is a film about losing one’s sight, it is also about finding the inner strength to deal with the curveballs that life throws at us."
 Cinema Axis
"An emotional and truly fascinating experience."
 In the Seats
Citation
Main credits
								Larraín, María Teresa (film director)
Larraín, María Teresa (film producer)
Larraín, María Teresa (on-screen participant)
Barreveld, Ed (film producer)
Valencia-Svensson, Lisa (film producer)
							
Other credits
Editors, Ricardo Acosta, Tim Wilson; directors of photography, Arnaldo Rodriguez (Chile), Daniel Grant (Canada); composer, Jorge Aliaga.
Distributor subjects
Body image, Disabilities, Human RightsKeywords
WEBVTT
00:00:12.601 --> 00:00:17.167
(rope slapping
concrete)
00:00:22.601 --> 00:00:26.567 line:20%
♪
00:00:28.500 --> 00:00:32.634
(child laughing)
00:00:33.634 --> 00:00:37.577 line:20%
♪
00:00:37.601 --> 00:00:41.410
Maria: I remember my mother
 taking me to the optometrist
00:00:41.434 --> 00:00:44.443
for the first time.
00:00:44.467 --> 00:00:46.234
And him telling her that 
 I had inherited her condition.
00:00:47.200 --> 00:00:51.976
He called it 
 progressive myopia.
00:00:52.000 --> 00:00:55.033
And that one day, as her,
I was going to go blind.
00:00:57.434 --> 00:01:00.634
I didn\'t know what
progressive myopia was.
00:01:02.334 --> 00:01:05.243
I didn\'t know
 what progressive was
00:01:05.267 --> 00:01:06.976
and I didn\'t know
what myopia was.
00:01:07.000 --> 00:01:10.043
And when we came out of the
doctor\'s office,
00:01:10.067 --> 00:01:12.601
I asked my mother, \"Mama,
 when will we go blind?\"
00:01:13.067 --> 00:01:17.376
And my
 mother said,
00:01:17.400 --> 00:01:19.200
\"Never.\"
00:01:20.434 --> 00:01:22.210 line:20%
♪
00:01:22.234 --> 00:01:26.510
My mother
 said never.
00:01:26.534 --> 00:01:27.710 line:20%
♪
00:01:27.734 --> 00:01:30.109
Yeah.
00:01:30.133 --> 00:01:31.234 line:20%
♪
00:01:36.334 --> 00:01:41.334 line:20%
♪
00:02:15.067 --> 00:02:19.410
I was
 born in Chile.
00:02:19.434 --> 00:02:21.376
I come from
 a large family.
00:02:21.400 --> 00:02:24.767
I studied Law and Drama there,
 married, and we had a child.
00:02:27.667 --> 00:02:30.534
I came to Canada shortly
after the military coup.
00:02:32.634 --> 00:02:36.976
And I have been working
 as an independent filmmaker
00:02:37.000 --> 00:02:39.767
for over 20 years.
00:02:47.267 --> 00:02:51.643
Now I am 
 going blind.
00:02:51.667 --> 00:02:55.567
And this will
 be my last film.
00:02:56.701 --> 00:02:59.667
(chiming)
00:03:06.067 --> 00:03:11.067
(chiming)
00:03:17.334 --> 00:03:22.043
These 2 photographs 
I want to show
00:03:22.067 --> 00:03:24.543
because they are 
very important.
00:03:24.567 --> 00:03:26.476
They were taken more or
less at the same time.
00:03:26.500 --> 00:03:29.300
And ehh, these are
the pictures,
00:03:29.467 --> 00:03:34.167
a little bit dusty,
of my mother
00:03:34.534 --> 00:03:36.434
when she was more
or less the age
00:03:39.234 --> 00:03:41.267
I am now in her sixties,
63, 64 I think.
00:03:42.567 --> 00:03:46.033
And this is a picture of
myself in the same time.
00:03:47.601 --> 00:03:52.443
When I was in my 40s,
something like that.
00:03:52.467 --> 00:03:54.767
I think she\'s sad
in this picture.
00:03:58.234 --> 00:04:02.210
Si.
00:04:02.234 --> 00:04:03.400
(water dripping)
00:04:07.400 --> 00:04:11.567
(bird calling)
00:04:12.000 --> 00:04:16.176
(bike bell dings)
00:04:16.200 --> 00:04:19.009
I was physically
 very active.
00:04:19.033 --> 00:04:21.476
I loved riding my
 bike through Toronto.
00:04:21.500 --> 00:04:24.710
And I especially liked 
 to go to Ontario Lake,
00:04:24.734 --> 00:04:27.710
I went 
there every day.
00:04:27.734 --> 00:04:29.267
And one day
I was riding my bike.
00:04:30.067 --> 00:04:34.243
It was a cloudy day. 
it was raining.
00:04:34.267 --> 00:04:38.009
And I love rain.
00:04:38.033 --> 00:04:40.167
(singing in Spanish)
00:04:48.200 --> 00:04:51.667
And all of a sudden I felt
something tearing inside
00:04:53.601 --> 00:04:57.743
my right eye.
00:04:57.767 --> 00:04:59.510
As if something
 had broken.
00:04:59.534 --> 00:05:01.467
(birds squacking)
00:05:03.601 --> 00:05:07.243
(gasp)
00:05:07.267 --> 00:05:09.167
(tires ticking)
00:05:09.234 --> 00:05:12.367
When I got up, uhh,
 the world had changed.
00:05:13.500 --> 00:05:15.367
Trees looked wavy like serpents,
and rather than walking
00:05:19.200 --> 00:05:24.076
people seemed to be
 floating on the air.
00:05:24.100 --> 00:05:27.634
Like in a
 painting of Chagal.
00:05:28.601 --> 00:05:30.400 line:20%
♪
00:05:32.534 --> 00:05:37.234
I walked my bike
 to the doctor.
00:05:38.000 --> 00:05:40.734
And he told me that
 I had macular degeneration.
00:05:43.033 --> 00:05:45.701
That the condition wouldprobably spread to my left eye.
00:05:46.467 --> 00:05:50.510
And that 
 I would go blind.
00:05:50.534 --> 00:05:52.367
At first 
 I was shocked.
00:05:54.734 --> 00:05:56.610
And I refused
 to believe him.
00:05:56.634 --> 00:05:59.243
But then 
 I remembered.
00:05:59.267 --> 00:06:02.067 line:20%
♪
00:06:02.467 --> 00:06:06.467
(rope slapping
concrete)
00:06:11.200 --> 00:06:16.367
I called my sister Anna in Chile
and I called my son Nicholas
00:06:16.534 --> 00:06:20.677
in Costa Rica.
00:06:20.701 --> 00:06:22.476
They were devastated and they
wanted to come to Canada
00:06:22.500 --> 00:06:26.276
to support me.
00:06:26.300 --> 00:06:27.567
But I held
them off
00:06:28.167 --> 00:06:30.267
because I thought I had to
 deal with this on my own.
00:06:30.767 --> 00:06:34.234
I did not tell my mother
that I was going blind.
00:06:35.734 --> 00:06:40.500
By then she was 85 years old andshe had lost most of her vision.
00:06:45.100 --> 00:06:47.701
So what
was the point?
00:06:55.467 --> 00:06:59.510 position:20%
Looking up.
00:06:59.534 --> 00:07:01.367 position:20%
Down.
00:07:04.701 --> 00:07:08.143
Maria: My first doctor had
sent me to a specialist and she confirmed
his diagnosis.
00:07:08.167 --> 00:07:11.400
She said that my condition was
 progressive and irreversible.
00:07:13.100 --> 00:07:16.643 position:20%
Want you to look 
down to the right.
00:07:16.667 --> 00:07:18.976 position:20%
At my finger
here, yeah.
00:07:19.000 --> 00:07:20.343 position:20%
Keep looking 
way down.
00:07:20.367 --> 00:07:21.643
Maria: There was
no cure.
00:07:21.667 --> 00:07:23.310 position:20%
Might burn a little.
00:07:23.334 --> 00:07:25.534
Looking way here, 
good.
00:07:28.434 --> 00:07:33.243
I\'m just gonna let the
little Q-tip rest
00:07:33.267 --> 00:07:35.243 position:20%
as I get everything
else ready.
00:07:35.267 --> 00:07:37.267
Maria: And eh, she offered
 me a palliative treatment,
00:07:40.400 --> 00:07:43.601
which might help slow down
 the process of decay.
00:07:45.534 --> 00:07:47.767 position:20%
And you\'re done.
00:07:50.267 --> 00:07:51.167
(chiming)
00:07:54.367 --> 00:07:58.743
Maria: If I had been a painter,
I would have painted my pain.
00:07:58.767 --> 00:08:04.100
If I had been a writer,
 I would have written about it.
00:08:05.567 --> 00:08:07.601
But working on images, 
I had to make this film.
00:08:13.434 --> 00:08:16.167
I did it out
of desperation.
00:08:18.100 --> 00:08:20.567 line:20%
♪
00:08:25.667 --> 00:08:30.667 line:20%
♪
00:08:33.000 --> 00:08:37.443
My life
 changed completely.
00:08:37.467 --> 00:08:39.476 line:20%
♪
00:08:39.500 --> 00:08:43.543
I was modeling, making
 films, and dancing tango.
00:08:43.567 --> 00:08:47.200 line:20%
♪
00:08:50.033 --> 00:08:54.276
I also had a lover.
00:08:54.300 --> 00:08:56.167 line:20%
♪
00:09:01.267 --> 00:09:06.267 line:20%
♪
00:09:09.701 --> 00:09:14.376
But all that 
came to an end.
00:09:14.400 --> 00:09:17.343
As if someone
 had drawn a curtain.
00:09:17.367 --> 00:09:20.267
Outside, the world,
 inside, me.
00:09:21.400 --> 00:09:24.133 line:20%
♪
00:09:30.734 --> 00:09:36.100
I stopped modeling because 
 one day while doing gestures
00:09:36.467 --> 00:09:41.143
I fell out of
 the platform.
00:09:41.167 --> 00:09:43.343
Because I didn\'t
 see the edge.
00:09:43.367 --> 00:09:46.367
I stopped dancing tango becausethe dancing hall was very dark.
00:09:47.500 --> 00:09:52.300
And I had become a shadow
 dancing amidst the shadows.
00:09:55.167 --> 00:09:57.734
I left my lover
 because I didn\'t think
00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:03.376
he would be able to love
 me as a blind woman.
00:10:03.400 --> 00:10:06.334 line:20%
♪
00:10:11.434 --> 00:10:16.434 line:20%
♪
00:10:18.434 --> 00:10:22.200
There was one call 
 I left to the end
00:10:23.300 --> 00:10:26.343
and this was to
 my brother, Tati.
00:10:26.367 --> 00:10:28.276
Tati: Maria Teresa?
00:10:28.300 --> 00:10:31.234
He and I have a special
 connection because we
00:10:31.534 --> 00:10:35.076
share the same condition,
 macular degeneration.
00:10:35.100 --> 00:10:37.601
The inheritance
of our mother.
00:11:51.500 --> 00:11:56.643
As we spoke, I realized that itwas the first time in our lives
00:11:56.667 --> 00:12:01.000
that Tati and I spoke
 honestly about our blindness.
00:12:02.634 --> 00:12:05.167
(speaking Spanish)
00:12:08.601 --> 00:12:13.243
As all this
 was going on,
00:12:13.267 --> 00:12:15.109
I was trying to complete
 my previous film.
00:12:15.133 --> 00:12:18.276
It was called Besieged Land and
it told the story
00:12:18.300 --> 00:12:21.076
of a Maputo chief
 who had been accused
00:12:21.100 --> 00:12:24.334
of burning a landowner\'s
 home in the South of Chile.
00:12:28.067 --> 00:12:33.009
By the time the film wascompleted, I could no longer see
00:12:33.033 --> 00:12:36.577
the faces of the
 people I had shot.
00:12:36.601 --> 00:12:39.300
But the film was out and to
 me that was a huge relief.
00:12:44.567 --> 00:12:48.300
(drumming)
00:12:49.200 --> 00:12:53.300
(honking)
00:12:58.734 --> 00:13:03.743
After the bike accident,
 my doctor had told me that
00:13:03.767 --> 00:13:07.410
I needed to use
a white cane.
00:13:07.434 --> 00:13:09.434
I was angry
at him.
00:13:09.634 --> 00:13:11.234
I was not blind.
00:13:12.567 --> 00:13:17.376
But one day as I was coming down
the bus, I missed the steps and fell 
onto the street.
00:13:17.400 --> 00:13:19.467
A car almost
hit me.
00:13:20.267 --> 00:13:21.767
It was only then that I
called the National Institute
00:13:22.267 --> 00:13:25.210
for the Blind.
00:13:25.234 --> 00:13:27.577
When the woman came to teach me,
I was reluctant, you know, ahh.
00:13:27.601 --> 00:13:32.476
Go away with your cane,
go away with your cane.
00:13:32.500 --> 00:13:35.643
So she taught me how to
 cross streets, how to walk,
00:13:35.667 --> 00:13:38.976
how to move with 
 a cane, and so on.
00:13:39.000 --> 00:13:41.543
And I remember that
 I passed through some people
00:13:41.567 --> 00:13:45.577
that I knew in the
 neighbourhood.
00:13:45.601 --> 00:13:47.643
I thought
 I hear their voices.
00:13:47.667 --> 00:13:50.009
And I pretended
I was not me.
00:13:50.033 --> 00:13:53.009
(laughs)
00:13:53.033 --> 00:13:54.267
(birds chirping)
00:13:56.100 --> 00:14:00.677
A white cane says
something about you.
00:14:00.701 --> 00:14:03.643
People see the cane,
they don\'t see you.
00:14:03.667 --> 00:14:06.067 line:20%
And I\'ve had that
shame, that shame.
00:14:07.200 --> 00:14:09.710 position:20% line:20%
I would put my cane 
in the corner of the room
00:14:09.734 --> 00:14:12.510 line:20%
and I would 
hate that cane.
00:14:12.534 --> 00:14:14.467
I would hate it because
 it told a story about me.
00:14:15.100 --> 00:14:19.710
It said, \"This is
 who you are now.\"
00:14:19.734 --> 00:14:22.643
And I\'m not proud of 
 what I felt, I am not proud
00:14:22.667 --> 00:14:25.710
of having felt
ashamed of my cane.
00:14:25.734 --> 00:14:28.343 line:20%
Because it\'s like feeling
ashamed of my blindness.
00:14:28.367 --> 00:14:31.243 line:20%
I\'m not 
proud of that.
00:14:31.267 --> 00:14:32.543 line:20%
But that\'s
how I felt.
00:14:32.567 --> 00:14:34.133 line:20%
(birds calling)
00:14:41.200 --> 00:14:46.043
After I completed
 my film I was broke.
00:14:46.067 --> 00:14:49.510
I had nothing
 to fall back on.
00:14:49.534 --> 00:14:53.343
A friend of mine told me to
 apply to disability benefits.
00:14:53.367 --> 00:14:58.100
I had lived and worked in
 Canada for over 30 years
00:14:58.400 --> 00:15:03.167
and I had paid 
 my contributions.
00:15:04.500 --> 00:15:08.443 line:20%
♪
00:15:08.467 --> 00:15:10.677
But my benefits were denied
 because I had kept working on
00:15:10.701 --> 00:15:15.567
my previous film after 
 I had been declared blind.
00:15:16.467 --> 00:15:20.400 line:20%
♪
00:15:26.267 --> 00:15:31.167
This rejection came
 as a big blow to me.
00:15:32.033 --> 00:15:36.510
Because, since 
 I had no money
00:15:36.534 --> 00:15:39.577
I had to apply to
 social assistance.
00:15:39.601 --> 00:15:42.734
And this humiliated
 me very much.
00:15:44.601 --> 00:15:48.234 line:20%
♪
00:15:49.267 --> 00:15:54.476
A few days later I got a call
 from my sister Anna in Chile.
00:15:54.500 --> 00:15:59.076
It came in the middle of the
 night and as soon as I heard
00:15:59.100 --> 00:16:02.510
Anna\'s voice, I knew
 what had happened.
00:16:02.534 --> 00:16:05.367 line:20%
♪
00:16:11.434 --> 00:16:16.434 line:20%
♪
00:16:28.033 --> 00:16:32.143
How do you--
00:16:32.167 --> 00:16:34.710
How do you mourn
 your mother in another land?
00:16:34.734 --> 00:16:40.033
How do you mourn for yourmother when you are not at home?
00:16:40.601 --> 00:16:43.734
How do you mourn for yourmother when you are not at home?
00:16:45.734 --> 00:16:49.133 line:20%
♪
00:16:56.067 --> 00:17:01.267
They said goodbye to my motherwith the tango she used to like.
00:17:01.701 --> 00:17:05.067
(Singing in Spanish)
00:17:10.767 --> 00:17:12.334
(birds calling)
00:17:18.067 --> 00:17:19.033
(water splashing)
00:17:22.267 --> 00:17:23.734
(waves crashing)
00:17:29.400 --> 00:17:34.400
(waves crashing)
00:17:42.267 --> 00:17:43.367
(bird crowing)
00:17:46.400 --> 00:17:49.100
The death of my mother
unleashed all my fears.
00:17:52.367 --> 00:17:54.234
Fear of darkness,
fear of poverty,
00:17:57.133 --> 00:18:00.009
fear of the isolation
 that comes with blindness.
00:18:00.033 --> 00:18:03.534
(birds chirping)
00:18:09.234 --> 00:18:14.234
(birds chirping)
00:18:19.234 --> 00:18:23.643
When I was
 losing I hope,
00:18:23.667 --> 00:18:25.710
I got a letter from
 my brother Pato in Chile.
00:18:25.734 --> 00:18:29.234
He offered 
 me a job.
00:18:29.734 --> 00:18:32.510
He told me 
 they all missed me.
00:18:32.534 --> 00:18:35.267
And he urged 
 me to return.
00:18:44.000 --> 00:18:48.133
(water running)
00:18:50.434 --> 00:18:55.467
That is how, after 30 years
 of living in exile,
00:18:56.100 --> 00:19:00.343
I returned to Chile.
00:19:00.367 --> 00:19:03.434
My family, home.
00:19:05.334 --> 00:19:07.067
(announcer talking)
00:19:42.167 --> 00:19:46.334
(bird cooing)
00:19:51.434 --> 00:19:56.434
(bird cooing)
00:20:04.400 --> 00:20:06.500
Tela was my mother and shebecame a widow when she was 35.
00:20:10.534 --> 00:20:14.701
She was left 
 with 10 children.
00:20:15.300 --> 00:20:18.000
The oldest was 10,
 and the youngest, 1.
00:20:18.767 --> 00:20:20.634
My mother could not
support us financially.
00:20:23.701 --> 00:20:26.677
So she was forced
to part with us.
00:20:26.701 --> 00:20:28.767
And we were sent to live
 with different relatives.
00:20:30.100 --> 00:20:32.000
When Uncle Gabriel came for me,
my mother called me aside
00:20:35.567 --> 00:20:40.601
and she told me the
 separation was going to last
00:20:41.400 --> 00:20:46.009
only for 
a little while.
00:20:46.033 --> 00:20:47.567
And she told me that she
 loved me very, very much.
00:20:49.567 --> 00:20:51.667 line:20%
♪
00:20:58.634 --> 00:21:03.634 line:20%
♪
00:21:14.500 --> 00:21:19.343
But our separation
 lasted a long time.
00:21:19.367 --> 00:21:22.443
And as a way
 to see us,
00:21:22.467 --> 00:21:24.976
my mother invited us to the
 Waldorf Astoria in Santiago,
00:21:25.000 --> 00:21:29.076
which was a restaurant that
she used to go with my father.
00:21:29.100 --> 00:21:32.167
And when we got there,
we would see our mother.
00:21:33.167 --> 00:21:36.510
She was sitting at the head ofthe table, all dressed in black,
00:21:36.534 --> 00:21:40.243
looking like 
a queen.
00:21:40.267 --> 00:21:41.510 line:20%
♪
00:21:41.534 --> 00:21:44.143
And we would laugh and 
 quarrel and stuff ourselves
00:21:44.167 --> 00:21:49.009
with ice cream 
 until the last penny
00:21:49.033 --> 00:21:51.310
of mother\'s widow
 pension cheque was gone.
00:21:51.334 --> 00:21:54.334
Then we would each leave
to our different homes.
00:21:55.434 --> 00:21:59.167
But we left feeling that 
we were still a family,
00:22:02.133 --> 00:22:06.610
feeling that 
 we were loved.
00:22:06.634 --> 00:22:08.601 line:20%
♪
00:22:20.000 --> 00:22:22.500
(laughing)
00:24:15.734 --> 00:24:21.000
Maria: She was 95 just a few
months before her death.
00:24:21.467 --> 00:24:25.300
When she died she
 was completely blind.
00:24:26.367 --> 00:24:29.100
She had to touch our
 faces to recognize us.
00:24:31.400 --> 00:24:33.701
Yeah.
00:24:41.033 --> 00:24:45.643
So shortly after 
 I arrived in Chile
00:24:45.667 --> 00:24:47.643
I started working
 with my brother Pato
00:24:47.667 --> 00:24:50.009
in the development 
 of the housing project
00:24:50.033 --> 00:24:53.710
for low-income 
people.
00:24:53.734 --> 00:24:55.500
My job consisted in filling
 out electronic forms
00:24:56.300 --> 00:25:00.276
in the computer, and 
 developing community projects
00:25:00.300 --> 00:25:04.567
with the women,
 with the families.
00:25:04.701 --> 00:25:07.334
But as my
 vision diminished,
00:25:09.400 --> 00:25:11.710
it became very difficult 
 for me to do my work.
00:25:11.734 --> 00:25:14.310
To do my job.
00:25:14.334 --> 00:25:19.634
Because I could no longer see
 the letters in the computer. I never told my brother about
my diminishing vision
00:25:21.334 --> 00:25:26.410
and instead pretended I could
see much more than that.
00:25:26.434 --> 00:25:31.133
That I could,
 that I really could.
00:25:59.167 --> 00:26:04.400
And I don\'t know if I was able
 to deceive my brother, but em,
00:26:06.400 --> 00:26:11.410
I realized that I could not
 and did not want to
00:26:11.434 --> 00:26:15.243
deceive myself 
 any longer.
00:26:15.267 --> 00:26:17.000
I am not 
sighted anymore.
00:26:18.067 --> 00:26:21.100
I do not belong to
that world anymore.
00:26:35.200 --> 00:26:39.743
This was my
 grandmother\'s home.
00:26:39.767 --> 00:26:42.577
She lived on the 3rd
 floor and we lived with her.
00:26:42.601 --> 00:26:46.634
My mother, my
 father, and all of us.
00:26:51.000 --> 00:26:56.143
While we lived here, my mother
 took me to the optometrist
00:26:56.167 --> 00:26:59.743
for the first time.
00:26:59.767 --> 00:27:02.133
I was 7 years old.
00:27:04.167 --> 00:27:07.976 line:20%
♪
00:27:08.000 --> 00:27:12.434
How do you tell a
child she will be blind?
00:27:13.200 --> 00:27:15.367
How do you prepare 
 a child for blindness?
00:27:20.734 --> 00:27:25.434
By keeping her 
 out of the light?
00:27:28.667 --> 00:27:33.476
After I lost the job 
with my brother,
00:27:33.500 --> 00:27:36.176
I thought that there
 was nothing else for me to do
00:27:36.200 --> 00:27:39.009
and I was
 very desperate,
00:27:39.033 --> 00:27:41.076
because I did not want 
to live from my family.
00:27:41.100 --> 00:27:43.476
Of course they would 
 have helped me out,
00:27:43.500 --> 00:27:45.476
but you don\'t want
 to live on people
00:27:45.500 --> 00:27:47.543
helping you out
all the time.
00:27:47.567 --> 00:27:49.443
It totally limits your
 freedom and your dignity.
00:27:49.467 --> 00:27:52.410
So I was very
 desperate
00:27:52.434 --> 00:27:56.567
and I started walking,
 walking, walking. And I walked through
 Santiago streets.
00:27:56.767 --> 00:27:59.400
And one day when I was
 walking I, I got lost.
00:28:02.667 --> 00:28:05.734
(people talking)
00:28:09.701 --> 00:28:14.710
And a street vendor
 heard the sound of my cane.
00:28:14.734 --> 00:28:17.310
Ta ta ta ta ta ta.
00:28:17.334 --> 00:28:19.310
Because in the Alameda 
 everybody knows each other
00:28:19.334 --> 00:28:21.310
because of the sound
of their canes.
00:28:21.334 --> 00:28:23.109
And probably I sounded 
 strange to him, and he said,
00:28:23.133 --> 00:28:25.577
\"Are you lost?\"
 And I said yes.
00:28:25.601 --> 00:28:30.376
And his name was
Andres Albornoz.
00:28:30.400 --> 00:28:33.133 line:20%
They call him.
00:28:34.200 --> 00:28:36.000
(bird whistle)
00:28:53.467 --> 00:28:58.577
Through Birdman, I met the
 other blind street vendors.
00:28:58.601 --> 00:29:02.767
Louis, Carlos, Guillermo,
Chago and Maria.
00:29:52.400 --> 00:29:57.043
Maria: Luis is
 a musician.
00:29:57.067 --> 00:29:59.234
Like me, he was born sightedand he has macular degeneration.
00:29:59.400 --> 00:30:04.267
But now he has gone
 completely blind.
00:31:41.000 --> 00:31:46.009
Maria: I felt touched by
 the blind street vendors.
00:31:46.033 --> 00:31:49.467
With them, blindness
 was normal.
00:31:49.734 --> 00:31:53.100
With them, I no longer had to
 pretend that I was sighted.
00:31:55.734 --> 00:31:57.434
I felt attracted to them,
 but I was also afraid of them.
00:32:02.033 --> 00:32:06.601
Of what they 
 represented to me.
00:32:13.267 --> 00:32:17.434
(dog barking)
00:32:37.200 --> 00:32:42.343
The first street vendors came tothe Alameda about 40 years ago.
00:32:42.367 --> 00:32:46.076
Most of them 
 were disabled.
00:32:46.100 --> 00:32:48.043
And they 
wanted to work.
00:32:48.067 --> 00:32:50.476
Their pensions were
 very low and they wanted to,
00:32:50.500 --> 00:32:53.234
to find a way
 to survive.
00:32:57.634 --> 00:33:02.743
The authorities tried to get rid
of them many, many times,
00:33:02.767 --> 00:33:06.543
saying that they
 obstructed the public way.
00:33:06.567 --> 00:33:09.667
But they 
 kept coming back.
00:33:12.667 --> 00:33:16.701
(alarm)
00:33:28.767 --> 00:33:31.434
(speaking spanish)
00:34:04.133 --> 00:34:08.300
(bird whistle)
00:35:20.300 --> 00:35:25.043
Maria: My world
 was turning grey.
00:35:25.067 --> 00:35:28.009
There was
 still light.
00:35:28.033 --> 00:35:29.734
I still saw shapes,
 shadows. movement.
00:35:30.267 --> 00:35:34.701
But the colours
 were gone.
00:35:35.667 --> 00:35:38.000
My doctor told me
 that I had cataracts.
00:35:40.567 --> 00:35:44.176
He said he could
 remove them.
00:35:44.200 --> 00:35:46.743
He warned me 
 that my vision
00:35:46.767 --> 00:35:49.243
per say would not
 improve, but he said.
00:35:49.267 --> 00:35:52.710
\"The colours 
 would return.\"
00:35:52.734 --> 00:35:56.067
I asked him if
 there were any risks.
00:35:56.601 --> 00:36:00.367
\"Well,\" he said, \"Your
 case is complicated.\"
00:36:01.667 --> 00:36:04.434
I told him 
 I would wait.
00:36:06.334 --> 00:36:08.334
\"Wait for what?\"
00:36:09.500 --> 00:36:11.133
I did not want to
lose in the operation
00:36:12.400 --> 00:36:15.200
the little vision
 I still had.
00:36:19.701 --> 00:36:24.033
(preaching)
00:37:41.100 --> 00:37:45.234
(bird whistle)
00:37:46.133 --> 00:37:49.667
Maria: A year had elapsed
 since my mother\'s death
00:37:51.200 --> 00:37:54.210
and my 
return to Chile.
00:37:54.234 --> 00:37:56.410
And I had spent
 much of that time
00:37:56.434 --> 00:37:58.467
with the blind 
street vendors.
00:37:59.000 --> 00:38:01.234
They had told me about thestruggles to get their permits,
00:38:04.133 --> 00:38:07.376
police harassment, them
 being thrown into jail,
00:38:07.400 --> 00:38:11.976
hunger strikes
 they\'d been on
00:38:12.000 --> 00:38:14.567
and the bird man said they
had been through a lot.
00:38:16.334 --> 00:38:20.100 line:20%
(chanting)
00:38:20.434 --> 00:38:24.243
But here they were 30 years
 later holding on to
00:38:24.267 --> 00:38:28.033
their permits and fighting 
for their right to work.
00:38:37.033 --> 00:38:42.210
What made me very angry aboutpeople rejecting my application
00:38:42.234 --> 00:38:46.267 line:20%
is that if I had not worked, if
I had just said, \"I\'m blind,\"
00:38:47.100 --> 00:38:51.743
they would give me a
check, shut up, go home
00:38:51.767 --> 00:38:54.343 line:20%
and then you have a 63 year old
woman, or a 50-something
00:38:54.367 --> 00:38:57.343 line:20%
that I was then, at home,
depressed, taking pills.
00:38:57.367 --> 00:39:01.009
With none-- 
With nothing!
00:39:01.033 --> 00:39:02.276
And without really--
00:39:02.300 --> 00:39:04.109 line:20%
don\'t I have anything
else to give to society?
00:39:04.133 --> 00:39:06.743 line:20%
Do you just send your people
home because it\'s easier
00:39:06.767 --> 00:39:09.343 line:20%
for a society to 
send them home?
00:39:09.367 --> 00:39:12.276 line:20%
Without working and
become a burden of the state?
00:39:12.300 --> 00:39:16.200
When you can 
contribute to society
00:39:16.467 --> 00:39:18.200
in so many ways, 
you know?
00:41:46.033 --> 00:41:50.133
(cheering)
00:41:50.267 --> 00:41:54.334
(chanting)
00:41:59.434 --> 00:42:04.434
(chanting)
00:42:09.334 --> 00:42:13.443
(loud bang)
00:42:13.467 --> 00:42:15.334
(yelling)
00:42:18.167 --> 00:42:22.267
(coughing)
00:42:35.734 --> 00:42:40.033
(yelling)
00:42:45.133 --> 00:42:50.133
(yelling)
00:43:05.534 --> 00:43:09.667
(bird whistle)
00:43:14.767 --> 00:43:19.767
(bird whistle)
00:43:29.767 --> 00:43:34.100
(bird whistle)
00:44:51.467 --> 00:44:56.634
Maria: From the street vendors I learned that I was not alone.
00:44:57.234 --> 00:45:01.300
I also learned 
 that as a blind person
00:45:02.067 --> 00:45:04.710
I had to fight 
 for my rights.
00:45:04.734 --> 00:45:07.200
I decided to appeal the decision
of the Canadian government,
00:45:08.267 --> 00:45:11.410
which had denied my disability
 benefits, and, uh,
00:45:11.434 --> 00:45:15.410
8 months later I got a letter
 from them telling me
00:45:15.434 --> 00:45:19.376
my appeal had been accepted
and that I had to return
00:45:19.400 --> 00:45:23.133
to Toronto 
 to defend my case.
00:45:24.100 --> 00:45:26.234
I went to my sister
 Ana to say goodbye.
00:47:45.434 --> 00:47:49.400 line:20%
♪
00:47:54.500 --> 00:47:59.500 line:20%
♪
00:48:38.467 --> 00:48:43.376
Maria: The president of
the tribunal asked me,
00:48:43.400 --> 00:48:46.109
\"What do you see
at this moment?\"
00:48:46.133 --> 00:48:48.343
And I said, \"I am in a grey
 room, everything is grey,
00:48:48.367 --> 00:48:52.767
the walls are grey, the roof is
grey, the ground is grey.
00:48:53.400 --> 00:48:58.443
There is light coming inthrough a big window I suppose.
00:48:58.467 --> 00:49:02.243
And I see the 3
 people in front of me.
00:49:02.267 --> 00:49:04.976
I don\'t really see them, 
 I know you are there
00:49:05.000 --> 00:49:07.410
because the 3 of
 you have spoken.\"
00:49:07.434 --> 00:49:09.500
And then the president of the
tribunal wanted to know,
00:49:12.234 --> 00:49:15.443
what was the effect of,
 uh, the blindness
00:49:15.467 --> 00:49:18.143
that it was
 having in my life.
00:49:18.167 --> 00:49:20.601
And, uh, I told him, \"I-I\'m afilm maker, I work with images.\"
00:49:25.067 --> 00:49:28.400
Uh, then they asked
me also what--
00:49:33.500 --> 00:49:38.043 line:20%
I also told him that the effect
the blindness was having on me,
00:49:38.067 --> 00:49:42.176
not only my personal life, mywork was being very restricted.
00:49:42.200 --> 00:49:46.200
Also in terms of my professional
life, because I did not want,
00:49:48.734 --> 00:49:53.677
eh, my peers to know 
 that I was going blind
00:49:53.701 --> 00:49:57.667
I did not want 
them to pity me.
00:49:58.234 --> 00:49:59.767
The government official wanted
 to know how I had written
00:50:03.400 --> 00:50:07.310
that powerful letter 
 of appeal if I was blind?
00:50:07.334 --> 00:50:11.643
And I told him, uh, 
it was my eyes
00:50:11.667 --> 00:50:15.033
which have been
affected, not my mind.
00:50:17.567 --> 00:50:22.543
On my return to Chile I told my
doctor that I was ready
00:50:22.567 --> 00:50:27.200
to have my 
 cataracts operation.
00:50:30.000 --> 00:50:34.100
I pretended that everything
 was fine, but I was afraid.
00:50:50.267 --> 00:50:55.043
It is one thing to 
live in the fog
00:50:55.067 --> 00:50:57.334
and another to 
 live in darkness.
00:51:24.667 --> 00:51:28.634 line:20%
♪
00:51:33.734 --> 00:51:38.734 line:20%
♪
00:52:09.601 --> 00:52:14.400
The next day I removed
 my bandages.
00:52:14.567 --> 00:52:18.000
My vision did not improve
 but the colours returned.
00:52:22.534 --> 00:52:26.167 line:20%
♪
00:52:31.601 --> 00:52:36.601 line:20%
♪
00:53:52.100 --> 00:53:56.677
While I was waiting
 for a verdict,
00:53:56.701 --> 00:53:59.510
my son called me
from Costa Rica.
00:53:59.534 --> 00:54:02.300
\"Mama, we miss
 you. Come.
00:54:03.434 --> 00:54:07.434
We will wait for the
 verdict together.\"
00:55:47.500 --> 00:55:51.467 line:20%
♪
00:55:56.567 --> 00:56:01.567 line:20%
♪
00:56:11.767 --> 00:56:16.143
That\'s beautiful.
00:56:16.167 --> 00:56:17.567
I could see her face
when she was born,
00:56:19.701 --> 00:56:22.476
but now it\'s disappearing
 along with the faces
00:56:22.500 --> 00:56:26.343
of all the people
 I once knew.
00:56:26.367 --> 00:56:29.467 line:20%
♪
00:56:34.601 --> 00:56:39.601 line:20%
♪
00:56:49.601 --> 00:56:54.677
I was afraid that I would notbe able to be a good grandmother
00:56:54.701 --> 00:56:58.710
because of-of
my blindness.
00:56:58.734 --> 00:57:01.210
I was afraid that I would no
 not be able to go with them.
00:57:01.234 --> 00:57:06.076
Get-go and get some ice
cream with them,
00:57:06.100 --> 00:57:09.109
discover the
world with them.
00:57:09.133 --> 00:57:10.601
I did not want to be a
 prisoner of my blindness.
00:58:20.167 --> 00:58:25.043
Nicolas told me once 
 that he was happy
00:58:25.067 --> 00:58:28.767
that I had seen the girls before
I went completely blind.
00:58:31.100 --> 00:58:34.067
And I asked him,
00:58:35.267 --> 00:58:37.267
\"Nicolas, do we know people
 only through our eyes?\"
00:58:40.500 --> 00:58:44.000 line:20%
♪
00:58:49.567 --> 00:58:54.567 line:20%
♪
00:58:55.601 --> 00:59:00.276
Many times, our
eyes deceive us.
00:59:00.300 --> 00:59:04.133 line:20%
♪
00:59:09.234 --> 00:59:14.234 line:20%
♪
00:59:15.434 --> 00:59:20.400
We can know people not
only through out eyes...
00:59:21.100 --> 00:59:23.734 line:20%
♪
00:59:27.634 --> 00:59:32.601
We can know them 
 through touch, our hands,
00:59:38.667 --> 00:59:43.567
through sound, in
terms of knowing people,
00:59:51.033 --> 00:59:53.567
our whole body 
 can be an eye.
00:59:57.634 --> 01:00:01.601 line:20%
♪
01:00:13.033 --> 01:00:13.734
(birds chirping)
01:01:37.467 --> 01:01:42.100 line:20%
Really, you don\'t,
how come?
01:03:31.634 --> 01:03:37.009
Maria: I finally got the verdict
from the Canadian government.
01:03:37.033 --> 01:03:40.067
I have, uh, 20 dollars
in my account
01:03:41.067 --> 01:03:44.000
and I have no other
source of income.
01:03:44.634 --> 01:03:46.434
Computer: Desktop activated.
01:03:49.234 --> 01:03:50.743
Internet explorer.
01:03:50.767 --> 01:03:52.334
Windows-windows
 Internet explorer.
01:03:57.767 --> 01:04:02.467
More combo box,
more combo box.
01:04:05.300 --> 01:04:09.067
Made Queen-a Larrain.
01:04:09.601 --> 01:04:12.476
Search Mail.
01:04:12.500 --> 01:04:14.033 line:20%
♪
01:04:14.300 --> 01:04:19.343
Ms Larrain, provided thetribunal with a thorough history
01:04:19.367 --> 01:04:22.176
of her condition and the
 tribunal found her testimony
01:04:22.200 --> 01:04:24.610
to be both credible
 and reliable.
01:04:24.634 --> 01:04:27.300
She described how her vision
 quickly diminished during
01:04:27.500 --> 01:04:30.009
the production stage
 of her last film.
01:04:30.033 --> 01:04:32.243
She was not able 
 to complete the work
01:04:32.267 --> 01:04:34.276
in the way she had hoped for 
or done so in the past.
01:04:34.300 --> 01:04:37.543
She needed to utilize her
 colleagues to be her eyes.
01:04:37.567 --> 01:04:41.076
She was not born blind, she thusdid not have a lifetime to learn
01:04:41.100 --> 01:04:44.976
how to function
without sight.
01:04:45.000 --> 01:04:47.076
Then she finds herself near age
60, suddenly without vision
01:04:47.100 --> 01:04:50.376
and without
 the skills a person
01:04:50.400 --> 01:04:51.976
who had a lifetime 
of blindness would have.
01:04:52.000 --> 01:04:55.000
She made other efforts to try
 working and the panel finds
01:04:55.300 --> 01:04:58.109
that she did so because
 of her very strong work ethic
01:04:58.133 --> 01:05:00.710
and that this work was not
 indicative of her capacity
01:05:00.734 --> 01:05:03.476
to pursue regular
 gainful employment.
01:05:03.500 --> 01:05:06.510
The appeal 
 is allowed.
01:05:06.534 --> 01:05:08.434 line:20%
♪
01:05:15.167 --> 01:05:20.167 line:20%
♪
01:05:27.334 --> 01:05:31.467
(harp playing)
01:05:36.567 --> 01:05:41.567
(harp playing)
01:06:19.200 --> 01:06:23.334
Maria Teresa.
01:06:23.634 --> 01:06:24.334 line:20%
Maria Teresa?
01:06:28.434 --> 01:06:29.300 line:20%
(harp playing)
01:06:37.667 --> 01:06:42.667 line:20%
(harp playing)
01:07:36.167 --> 01:07:40.300
(harp playing)
01:07:45.500 --> 01:07:50.701
I-I don\'t know if-if I will beable to see the film I\'m making.
01:07:52.434 --> 01:07:56.467
I certainly will not be
 able to see the film
01:07:57.367 --> 01:08:00.343
the way other
 people do.
01:08:00.367 --> 01:08:02.500
But I will be able to
see the film my own way.
01:08:09.434 --> 01:08:14.276
and I will be very
 careful to make sure
01:08:14.300 --> 01:08:17.701
that the blind street vendorssee the film their own way too.
01:09:35.434 --> 01:09:39.500
(laughing)
01:10:00.601 --> 01:10:05.701
During her last year my mother
would not be left alone.
01:10:06.667 --> 01:10:10.634
We would 
 leave her room
01:10:11.300 --> 01:10:16.167
and she would call us screaming,
\"Come back! Come back!\" We thought that she
 was afraid of death.
01:10:17.400 --> 01:10:20.434
But now, when I\'m
 going blind,
01:10:22.133 --> 01:10:25.334
I realize that she was
 afraid of darkness.
01:10:26.634 --> 01:10:28.267
Because when 
 you go blind
01:10:31.300 --> 01:10:33.643
and everything is
dark there\'s nothing.
01:10:33.667 --> 01:10:38.033
There is nothing.
01:10:40.334 --> 01:10:45.076
This is for the
 one who has seen,
01:10:45.100 --> 01:10:49.143
because the one
 who was born blind
01:10:49.167 --> 01:10:53.234
has a different
perception of darkness.
01:11:05.367 --> 01:11:10.176
Light, for me, has
 become capricious.
01:11:10.200 --> 01:11:14.067
It appears 
and disappears.
01:11:14.667 --> 01:11:17.500
It\'s playful and when
 light is there I welcome it.
01:11:26.267 --> 01:11:30.234 line:20%
♪
01:11:37.133 --> 01:11:41.643
I will always
 miss the light.
01:11:41.667 --> 01:11:44.109
I will always
 miss the stars,
01:11:44.133 --> 01:11:46.300
the moon, the sun
shining on the water.
01:11:47.067 --> 01:11:49.033 line:20%
♪
01:11:56.133 --> 01:12:01.133 line:20%
♪
01:13:03.567 --> 01:13:07.534 line:20%
♪
01:13:12.634 --> 01:13:17.634 line:20%
♪