Twenty-two women, ages 6 to 84-years-old, discuss how breasts play a crucial…
Private Dicks: Men Exposed
- Description
- Reviews
- Citation
- Cataloging
- Transcript
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Men spend a lot of time thinking about their penises, and even thinking with their penises. But rarely do we hear men talking honestly about their penises-until now.
Surveying young and old, gay and straight, large and small, virgin and porn star, from all walks of life, PRIVATE DICKS explores the naked truth about how men feel about their penises.
The men, many of whom appear nude, offer personal revelations that are honest, humorous and often poignant as they frankly discuss puberty, power, impotence, circumcision, sexuality, myths and perceptions, growing old, and, of course, size. Interspersed with clips from vintage sex education films and humorous cartoons, PRIVATE DICKS provides a rare opportunity for both interviewees and audience to begin an honest conversation about masculinity, power, vulnerability, sex and love-all seen through the lens of a man's relationship to his penis.
Among the 25 men interviewed for the documentary are:
- Gordon, 73, a retired professor who tells of getting syphilis and gonorrhea as a sailor during WWII, and reflects on the decline in libido and prostate troubles that accompany aging
- 'Lexington Steele,' 28, an adult film actor who recalls how he first realized during his college years that his 11-1/2 inch erection 'might be of some interest,' and discusses the literal ups and downs of a porn star on set.
- Boris, 57, an advertising director, paralyzed from the mid-torso down since age 17, who talks about sex as a paraplegic.
- Jesse Sheidlower, slang dictionary editor at Random House, and editor of The F Word, explains the etymology of penis-related slang words and offers some rare historical slang.
'Sometimes humorous and never lecherous... A treasure-trove for sociologists.' -USA Today
'Recommended! An extremely informative and frank discussion of male sexuality. Especially recommended for sociology students.'-Educational Media Reviews Online
'Alternately funny and quite literally touching, they let it all hang out to achieve something close to wisdom.'-Entertainment Weekly
't's often funny, poignant and mostly revealing, providing valuable insight into how men shape their identity from the size and shape of their private parts.'-Hollywood Reporter
'More than 20 subjects, ages 17 to 73, not only strip but speak, grappling honestly and graphically with such topics as masturbation, size, impotence, vasectomies, and circumcision.'-New Woman
'Neither prurient nor offensive... [The men are] the picture of honesty and vulnerability.'-TV Guide
Citation
Main credits
Spadola, Meema (Director)
Spadola, Meema (Producer)
Powers, Thom (Director)
Powers, Thom (act)
Rose, Ann (Producer)
Peterson, David (Editor)
Rexer, William (Cinematographer)
Nevins, Sheila (Producer)
Other credits
Associate producer, Ann Rose; editor, David Petersen; director of photography, William Rexer II; original music, John M. Davis ... [et al.]; executive producer, Sheila Nevins.
Distributor subjects
Adolescence; Aging; Anatomy; Biology; Cultural Studies; Gay Studies; Health Issues; Men's Studies; Psychology; Sex and Sexuality; Titles on DVDKeywords
Men; bodies; body image; body; masculinity; masculine; Penis; sexuality; relationships; impotence; documentary; film; video; DVD; Puberty; Circumcision; Growing old; Penises; Sex education; Love; "Private Dicks"; Icarus Films; ,doc; science
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00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:15.940 align:middle line:90%
00:00:15.940 --> 00:00:20.750 align:middle line:84%
As we go along, let us study
the male anatomy.
00:00:20.750 --> 00:00:23.990 align:middle line:84%
Most men know less about their
own bodies than they do about
00:00:23.990 --> 00:00:26.920 align:middle line:90%
their automobiles.
00:00:26.920 --> 00:00:31.190 align:middle line:84%
Here we have a diagram of the
human body showing those parts
00:00:31.190 --> 00:00:33.375 align:middle line:84%
with which this discussion
is primarily concerned.
00:00:33.375 --> 00:01:22.115 align:middle line:90%
00:01:22.115 --> 00:01:25.670 align:middle line:84%
It\'s an average-sized
male organ.
00:01:25.670 --> 00:01:27.400 align:middle line:90%
It\'s sort of thick.
00:01:27.400 --> 00:01:29.725 align:middle line:84%
It\'s a good color,
a good texture.
00:01:29.725 --> 00:01:36.790 align:middle line:90%
00:01:36.790 --> 00:01:40.430 align:middle line:84%
Nine and a half inches when
soft, legitimately.
00:01:40.430 --> 00:01:41.540 align:middle line:90%
Straight as an arrow--
00:01:41.540 --> 00:01:43.718 align:middle line:84%
no curves to the left, no
curves to the right.
00:01:43.718 --> 00:01:45.410 align:middle line:84%
It always hangs to
the left, baby.
00:01:45.410 --> 00:01:50.350 align:middle line:90%
00:01:50.350 --> 00:01:52.760 align:middle line:84%
A favorite aspect of
mine is the head--
00:01:52.760 --> 00:01:54.710 align:middle line:90%
the mushroom quality.
00:01:54.710 --> 00:01:56.400 align:middle line:84%
It looks like Darth
Vader\'s helmet.
00:01:56.400 --> 00:01:58.470 align:middle line:90%
My wife thinks it very pretty.
00:01:58.470 --> 00:02:30.705 align:middle line:90%
00:02:30.705 --> 00:02:33.330 align:middle line:84%
I grew up in a small
town in Ohio, where
00:02:33.330 --> 00:02:35.430 align:middle line:90%
the penis was verboten--
00:02:35.430 --> 00:02:38.100 align:middle line:84%
that is to say you didn\'t
talk about it.
00:02:38.100 --> 00:02:41.350 align:middle line:84%
You never heard the word
cock or prick.
00:02:41.350 --> 00:02:44.660 align:middle line:84%
Men don\'t talk about
their penises.
00:02:44.660 --> 00:02:52.060 align:middle line:84%
What they do talk about
frequently is the women
00:02:52.060 --> 00:02:52.850 align:middle line:90%
they\'ve had.
00:02:52.850 --> 00:02:56.540 align:middle line:84%
My group of friends is fairly
comfortable, but a lot of the
00:02:56.540 --> 00:02:59.820 align:middle line:84%
other kids I know actually
probably wouldn\'t be that
00:02:59.820 --> 00:03:03.550 align:middle line:84%
comfortable talking about
their penises.
00:03:03.550 --> 00:03:08.240 align:middle line:84%
And on some level, it\'s fun
to psyche them out.
00:03:08.240 --> 00:03:11.260 align:middle line:84%
One of the things that\'s really
true about men is that
00:03:11.260 --> 00:03:14.790 align:middle line:84%
unless you\'re in a very gay
male-oriented space, other men
00:03:14.790 --> 00:03:17.140 align:middle line:84%
will not look at you
if you\'re naked.
00:03:17.140 --> 00:03:18.640 align:middle line:84%
They will not look at
you at the urinal.
00:03:18.640 --> 00:03:20.060 align:middle line:84%
They will not pay attention
to what you\'re
00:03:20.060 --> 00:03:21.280 align:middle line:90%
doing in the bathroom.
00:03:21.280 --> 00:03:23.420 align:middle line:84%
They will not look at
you in the showers.
00:03:23.420 --> 00:03:26.930 align:middle line:84%
Men don\'t want to expose
themselves for several
00:03:26.930 --> 00:03:31.310 align:middle line:84%
reasons, one of which is sort of
this heterosexual fear that
00:03:31.310 --> 00:03:34.490 align:middle line:84%
every man sort of wants to put
their mouth on their penis if
00:03:34.490 --> 00:03:37.020 align:middle line:84%
it\'s exposed, like it\'s this
unbelievably appetizing thing.
00:03:37.020 --> 00:03:39.260 align:middle line:84%
When in reality, this penis, of
course, is the most heinous
00:03:39.260 --> 00:03:40.690 align:middle line:84%
looking device in
the universe.
00:03:40.690 --> 00:03:41.720 align:middle line:90%
It\'s like a beanbag.
00:03:41.720 --> 00:03:43.070 align:middle line:90%
It\'s completely grotesque.
00:03:43.070 --> 00:03:45.460 align:middle line:84%
I mean some sculptors have
made wonders with it, but
00:03:45.460 --> 00:03:46.070 align:middle line:90%
let\'s face it.
00:03:46.070 --> 00:03:47.970 align:middle line:84%
Usually it isn\'t even
colored right.
00:03:47.970 --> 00:03:48.480 align:middle line:90%
It\'s wrinkly.
00:03:48.480 --> 00:03:49.160 align:middle line:90%
It\'s hairy.
00:03:49.160 --> 00:03:50.740 align:middle line:84%
You wouldn\'t buy it
in the store.
00:03:50.740 --> 00:03:52.830 align:middle line:84%
Certainly people aren\'t
going to jump on it.
00:03:52.830 --> 00:03:56.540 align:middle line:84%
To talk about it and to examine
it, the penis, would
00:03:56.540 --> 00:04:05.970 align:middle line:84%
be to demystify it, to kind of
reveal that it\'s not such a
00:04:05.970 --> 00:04:08.420 align:middle line:84%
super powerful supernatural
thing.
00:04:08.420 --> 00:04:13.350 align:middle line:84%
And I think subconsciously a lot
of men want it to be that.
00:04:13.350 --> 00:04:17.620 align:middle line:84%
Heterosexual men don\'t really
want to see penises, and most
00:04:17.620 --> 00:04:20.850 align:middle line:84%
of the audience are heterosexual
men, the
00:04:20.850 --> 00:04:22.490 align:middle line:84%
consumers, the people who buy
products that buy the
00:04:22.490 --> 00:04:24.800 align:middle line:84%
commercials that sponsor
the programs.
00:04:24.800 --> 00:04:27.990 align:middle line:84%
You\'re not going to see a lot
of cocks on TV, at least
00:04:27.990 --> 00:04:30.040 align:middle line:90%
outside of this.
00:04:30.040 --> 00:04:31.060 align:middle line:90%
So.
00:04:31.060 --> 00:04:33.520 align:middle line:84%
People were using slang terms
for the penis in Chaucer\'s
00:04:33.520 --> 00:04:36.160 align:middle line:84%
time, and in Shakespeare
there are examples.
00:04:36.160 --> 00:04:39.670 align:middle line:84%
Common ones like cock go back
to the 17th century.
00:04:39.670 --> 00:04:42.570 align:middle line:84%
Dick was very common
19th century.
00:04:42.570 --> 00:04:46.140 align:middle line:84%
One-eyed wonder worm or trouser
trout or, a personal
00:04:46.140 --> 00:04:49.480 align:middle line:84%
favorite, purple-helmeted love
warrior, hot beef injection
00:04:49.480 --> 00:04:52.460 align:middle line:84%
for the sex act,
venous maximus.
00:04:52.460 --> 00:04:54.040 align:middle line:84%
And these aren\'t ones that
people use seriously.
00:04:54.040 --> 00:04:56.850 align:middle line:84%
You don\'t go around talking
about it that way, but you
00:04:56.850 --> 00:04:57.690 align:middle line:90%
make jokes about it.
00:04:57.690 --> 00:05:00.580 align:middle line:84%
It\'s funny to refer to it that
way because that\'s one way to
00:05:00.580 --> 00:05:02.460 align:middle line:90%
defuse its impact.
00:05:02.460 --> 00:05:03.320 align:middle line:90%
Daddy?
00:05:03.320 --> 00:05:05.450 align:middle line:90%
Yes?
00:05:05.450 --> 00:05:07.575 align:middle line:90%
Why do babies have fathers?
00:05:07.575 --> 00:05:11.580 align:middle line:84%
Well, there wouldn\'t be any
babies without fathers.
00:05:11.580 --> 00:05:13.140 align:middle line:90%
But why?
00:05:13.140 --> 00:05:15.880 align:middle line:84%
Well, your child
is inquisitive.
00:05:15.880 --> 00:05:17.340 align:middle line:84%
One day you\'ll have
to tell him why
00:05:17.340 --> 00:05:18.680 align:middle line:90%
babies do have fathers.
00:05:18.680 --> 00:05:29.600 align:middle line:90%
00:05:29.600 --> 00:05:32.640 align:middle line:84%
I walk into a locker room in
middle school and the guys all
00:05:32.640 --> 00:05:35.050 align:middle line:84%
laugh and say, here
comes the dwarf.
00:05:35.050 --> 00:05:39.620 align:middle line:84%
It was a terribly destructive
indignity that I had to carry
00:05:39.620 --> 00:05:41.720 align:middle line:90%
the burden of all my life.
00:05:41.720 --> 00:05:42.745 align:middle line:90%
I was going the dwarf.
00:05:42.745 --> 00:05:45.020 align:middle line:84%
And I determine right then and
there I\'m not going to show my
00:05:45.020 --> 00:05:46.370 align:middle line:90%
peepee to anybody.
00:05:46.370 --> 00:05:50.300 align:middle line:84%
I discovered that when I was
10 years old, I was eight
00:05:50.300 --> 00:05:51.630 align:middle line:90%
inches erect.
00:05:51.630 --> 00:05:54.610 align:middle line:84%
And from then on, I
became fascinated.
00:05:54.610 --> 00:05:58.550 align:middle line:84%
Nine inches at age 13, ten and
a half at 15, 11 at 18.
00:05:58.550 --> 00:06:02.040 align:middle line:84%
The thing is that I was
ashamed of me--
00:06:02.040 --> 00:06:03.700 align:middle line:90%
not of it, but of all of me.
00:06:03.700 --> 00:06:07.180 align:middle line:84%
Because I felt like
I was different.
00:06:07.180 --> 00:06:10.740 align:middle line:84%
I\'d be standing there
at the toilet, and--
00:06:10.740 --> 00:06:12.920 align:middle line:84%
my name was Albert
at the time.
00:06:12.920 --> 00:06:15.100 align:middle line:84%
And my brother would inevitably,
as soon as I\'d
00:06:15.100 --> 00:06:19.060 align:middle line:84%
start to pee, I was so proud of
myself, peeing standing up,
00:06:19.060 --> 00:06:20.770 align:middle line:84%
because that\'s the grownup
thing to do, right?
00:06:20.770 --> 00:06:24.480 align:middle line:90%
And he would go, hey, Albert?
00:06:24.480 --> 00:06:27.368 align:middle line:90%
And I\'d go, yeah?
00:06:27.368 --> 00:06:31.690 align:middle line:84%
And he would do this time
after time after time.
00:06:31.690 --> 00:06:37.130 align:middle line:84%
My stepfather, I remember, he
was really into his penis.
00:06:37.130 --> 00:06:39.050 align:middle line:90%
And he walked around naked--
00:06:39.050 --> 00:06:41.860 align:middle line:84%
not hard, but he walked around
naked and he was always sort
00:06:41.860 --> 00:06:45.230 align:middle line:84%
of the bed sort of checking
out his penis.
00:06:45.230 --> 00:06:47.160 align:middle line:84%
And we never thought
much of it.
00:06:47.160 --> 00:06:49.040 align:middle line:84%
There wasn\'t actually much
room in the house to talk
00:06:49.040 --> 00:06:51.430 align:middle line:84%
about anybody else\'s penis,
because he was obviously so
00:06:51.430 --> 00:06:53.100 align:middle line:90%
obsessed with his.
00:06:53.100 --> 00:06:57.760 align:middle line:84%
The first time I saw my father
penis, we were at the YMCA.
00:06:57.760 --> 00:06:59.660 align:middle line:90%
I was, I guess, eight or nine.
00:06:59.660 --> 00:07:04.220 align:middle line:84%
And we went to swim and play
basketball and work out.
00:07:04.220 --> 00:07:05.560 align:middle line:84%
And then we went to
the shower room.
00:07:05.560 --> 00:07:07.910 align:middle line:84%
And I look over at my
father, and he\'s
00:07:07.910 --> 00:07:12.190 align:middle line:90%
like hung, very large.
00:07:12.190 --> 00:07:14.720 align:middle line:90%
And I was eight or nine.
00:07:14.720 --> 00:07:17.276 align:middle line:84%
And I\'m like, I\'m nowhere
near this.
00:07:17.276 --> 00:07:19.780 align:middle line:84%
And god, it was like the
most emasculating
00:07:19.780 --> 00:07:20.610 align:middle line:90%
experience my life.
00:07:20.610 --> 00:07:23.200 align:middle line:84%
I don\'t think I\'ve ever felt
so small in my life.
00:07:23.200 --> 00:07:25.710 align:middle line:84%
And when I say small, I mean
small in all ways.
00:07:25.710 --> 00:07:27.570 align:middle line:90%
It was horrid.
00:07:27.570 --> 00:07:28.750 align:middle line:90%
It was horrid.
00:07:28.750 --> 00:07:32.340 align:middle line:84%
I remember getting erections
for the first time, which
00:07:32.340 --> 00:07:34.440 align:middle line:84%
didn\'t seem to bother me very
much, because it wasn\'t very
00:07:34.440 --> 00:07:35.720 align:middle line:90%
common in the sixth grade.
00:07:35.720 --> 00:07:38.220 align:middle line:84%
But when middle school started,
erections were just
00:07:38.220 --> 00:07:40.480 align:middle line:90%
happening at random, whenever.
00:07:40.480 --> 00:07:43.650 align:middle line:84%
They\'d be happening too in
situations where I\'d be in
00:07:43.650 --> 00:07:46.410 align:middle line:84%
gym, with just the guys from
the activity, and that was
00:07:46.410 --> 00:07:48.880 align:middle line:90%
really hard.
00:07:48.880 --> 00:07:51.910 align:middle line:84%
I guess you know what
I\'m saying.
00:07:51.910 --> 00:07:55.160 align:middle line:84%
Another important problem is
the dwelling upon teenage
00:07:55.160 --> 00:07:58.810 align:middle line:84%
participation in flagrant
abuses of the
00:07:58.810 --> 00:08:01.926 align:middle line:90%
God-given gift of sex.
00:08:01.926 --> 00:08:03.210 align:middle line:90%
Wow!
00:08:03.210 --> 00:08:08.130 align:middle line:84%
A prime example of one are the
so-called girlie magazines,
00:08:08.130 --> 00:08:12.380 align:middle line:84%
obviously calculated to
stimulate the reader.
00:08:12.380 --> 00:08:18.605 align:middle line:84%
They lack the moral standards of
our Judeo-Christian heresy.
00:08:18.605 --> 00:08:21.420 align:middle line:84%
Prolonged exposure
will pervert.
00:08:21.420 --> 00:08:27.025 align:middle line:90%
00:08:27.025 --> 00:08:30.100 align:middle line:84%
I think I was in the fourth or
fifth grade, going to my
00:08:30.100 --> 00:08:31.080 align:middle line:90%
friend\'s house.
00:08:31.080 --> 00:08:34.090 align:middle line:84%
I was sitting there really
like getting into these
00:08:34.090 --> 00:08:36.190 align:middle line:84%
magazines, getting
really turned on.
00:08:36.190 --> 00:08:39.260 align:middle line:90%
00:08:39.260 --> 00:08:43.580 align:middle line:84%
I could feel like how stiff
my penis was in my pants.
00:08:43.580 --> 00:08:49.970 align:middle line:84%
And but at same time, I couldn\'t
help but think that
00:08:49.970 --> 00:08:55.420 align:middle line:84%
there\'s like another guy in the
room, and I kind of didn\'t
00:08:55.420 --> 00:08:59.640 align:middle line:84%
want him to know that I was so
turned on that I was hard.
00:08:59.640 --> 00:09:01.270 align:middle line:90%
I don\'t fear sex.
00:09:01.270 --> 00:09:05.195 align:middle line:84%
I mean, I want to get into the
game as soon as possible.
00:09:05.195 --> 00:09:08.865 align:middle line:90%
00:09:08.865 --> 00:09:14.410 align:middle line:84%
I\'m a little worried that
I might be inept.
00:09:14.410 --> 00:09:19.070 align:middle line:84%
Losing my virginity at the age
of 17 with the smallest cock
00:09:19.070 --> 00:09:24.680 align:middle line:84%
Fall River, Mass., I didn\'t
know really exactly how to
00:09:24.680 --> 00:09:26.430 align:middle line:90%
think, except it was exciting.
00:09:26.430 --> 00:09:28.150 align:middle line:84%
I was going to definitely
premature
00:09:28.150 --> 00:09:30.130 align:middle line:90%
ejaculate, which I did.
00:09:30.130 --> 00:09:33.370 align:middle line:84%
And she was very considerate,
because she\'s an
00:09:33.370 --> 00:09:34.280 align:middle line:90%
older woman, remember.
00:09:34.280 --> 00:09:36.150 align:middle line:90%
She\'s 22, at least.
00:09:36.150 --> 00:09:38.870 align:middle line:84%
And she\'s waiting patiently
for the 20 minutes.
00:09:38.870 --> 00:09:42.110 align:middle line:84%
She\'s giving me a hand massage
on my genitalia.
00:09:42.110 --> 00:09:43.370 align:middle line:90%
Suddenly I\'m erect again.
00:09:43.370 --> 00:09:45.510 align:middle line:84%
It only took me about-- not even
20 minutes, I\'m guessing.
00:09:45.510 --> 00:09:46.290 align:middle line:90%
It might have been 10.
00:09:46.290 --> 00:09:50.960 align:middle line:84%
Because at an early age of 17,
your prowess is really--
00:09:50.960 --> 00:09:52.520 align:middle line:84%
you\'re with a Remington
Repeater.
00:09:52.520 --> 00:09:54.810 align:middle line:84%
You don\'t have the muzzle
loader as you do when
00:09:54.810 --> 00:09:56.220 align:middle line:90%
you\'re 40 or 50.
00:09:56.220 --> 00:09:58.690 align:middle line:84%
I\'m trying to peel down
her stockings, and
00:09:58.690 --> 00:09:59.640 align:middle line:90%
it was just a mess.
00:09:59.640 --> 00:10:01.650 align:middle line:84%
And once I got it in there,
I didn\'t even know
00:10:01.650 --> 00:10:03.580 align:middle line:90%
I had to move it.
00:10:03.580 --> 00:10:03.960 align:middle line:90%
Yeah.
00:10:03.960 --> 00:10:06.930 align:middle line:84%
And I was just like,
eh, so this is sex.
00:10:06.930 --> 00:10:07.315 align:middle line:90%
Yeah.
00:10:07.315 --> 00:10:09.870 align:middle line:90%
That happened with me, too.
00:10:09.870 --> 00:10:11.510 align:middle line:84%
When I first started
having sex, I just
00:10:11.510 --> 00:10:12.370 align:middle line:90%
slipped it in there.
00:10:12.370 --> 00:10:13.340 align:middle line:90%
I didn\'t do nothing.
00:10:13.340 --> 00:10:14.240 align:middle line:90%
I just left it there.
00:10:14.240 --> 00:10:14.830 align:middle line:90%
It\'s like, now what?
00:10:14.830 --> 00:10:17.310 align:middle line:84%
No humping motion whatsoever,
like I was taking her
00:10:17.310 --> 00:10:18.580 align:middle line:90%
temperature or something.
00:10:18.580 --> 00:10:24.310 align:middle line:84%
When I was 15, I went to a
public restroom and between
00:10:24.310 --> 00:10:27.040 align:middle line:90%
the stalls was an open circle.
00:10:27.040 --> 00:10:28.890 align:middle line:90%
And I had never seen before.
00:10:28.890 --> 00:10:32.400 align:middle line:84%
And there was a gentleman to
my left, and he started
00:10:32.400 --> 00:10:35.566 align:middle line:84%
putting his finger,
circling it.
00:10:35.566 --> 00:10:37.970 align:middle line:84%
And I was like, can
I help you?
00:10:37.970 --> 00:10:38.930 align:middle line:90%
And he stammered.
00:10:38.930 --> 00:10:40.320 align:middle line:84%
And he\'s like, uh, do you
know what time it is?
00:10:40.320 --> 00:10:41.200 align:middle line:90%
And I said, I don\'t know.
00:10:41.200 --> 00:10:42.006 align:middle line:90%
3:30.
00:10:42.006 --> 00:10:43.260 align:middle line:90%
And I left.
00:10:43.260 --> 00:10:45.150 align:middle line:84%
And I told my mom, and
she goes for me
00:10:45.150 --> 00:10:46.040 align:middle line:90%
not to go back there.
00:10:46.040 --> 00:10:49.080 align:middle line:84%
But I was intrigued, because I
just wanted to discover more
00:10:49.080 --> 00:10:52.190 align:middle line:84%
about my own sexuality
with other men.
00:10:52.190 --> 00:10:56.520 align:middle line:84%
So as a nervous 15-year-old, I
went back and back and back,
00:10:56.520 --> 00:11:00.560 align:middle line:84%
and then I realized that it
could be a dangerous place,
00:11:00.560 --> 00:11:02.670 align:middle line:84%
because there are
some unhealthy
00:11:02.670 --> 00:11:03.920 align:middle line:90%
people that go there.
00:11:03.920 --> 00:11:07.060 align:middle line:90%
00:11:07.060 --> 00:11:10.160 align:middle line:84%
And then I just learned a
greater respect for where I
00:11:10.160 --> 00:11:12.870 align:middle line:90%
put my prick.
00:11:12.870 --> 00:11:18.045 align:middle line:84%
In the summer of 1959,
I was 17 years old.
00:11:18.045 --> 00:11:20.910 align:middle line:84%
The girl I was with was
about the same age.
00:11:20.910 --> 00:11:22.710 align:middle line:90%
And we did it on the beach.
00:11:22.710 --> 00:11:24.165 align:middle line:90%
We were part of a beach party.
00:11:24.165 --> 00:11:27.400 align:middle line:84%
And we were wearing bathing
suits, and it got really hot.
00:11:27.400 --> 00:11:30.340 align:middle line:84%
And we went swimming and came
back and started to make out.
00:11:30.340 --> 00:11:31.320 align:middle line:90%
One thing led to the other.
00:11:31.320 --> 00:11:32.870 align:middle line:84%
Before we knew it,
we were fucking.
00:11:32.870 --> 00:11:36.900 align:middle line:84%
And that was the only time
I really had real--
00:11:36.900 --> 00:11:37.470 align:middle line:90%
well, I use that word--
00:11:37.470 --> 00:11:38.720 align:middle line:90%
real sex.
00:11:38.720 --> 00:11:40.930 align:middle line:90%
00:11:40.930 --> 00:11:42.970 align:middle line:84%
Three weeks later, I
had my accident.
00:11:42.970 --> 00:11:46.610 align:middle line:84%
I got hit by a car while riding
a bike, and I ended up
00:11:46.610 --> 00:11:48.410 align:middle line:90%
becoming a paraplegic--
00:11:48.410 --> 00:11:52.030 align:middle line:84%
a pretty high level, from
about here, like this.
00:11:52.030 --> 00:11:53.410 align:middle line:90%
It runs like this.
00:11:53.410 --> 00:11:58.680 align:middle line:84%
So I have no feeling really
below my chest area at all.
00:11:58.680 --> 00:12:02.740 align:middle line:84%
It wasn\'t as catastrophic,
because I didn\'t have to rely
00:12:02.740 --> 00:12:07.870 align:middle line:84%
on years of having an experience
in a certain way to
00:12:07.870 --> 00:12:12.180 align:middle line:84%
make this real and
this not real.
00:12:12.180 --> 00:12:17.010 align:middle line:84%
So to me, sexuality after my
accident is what sexuality is.
00:12:17.010 --> 00:12:18.260 align:middle line:90%
It\'s real.
00:12:18.260 --> 00:12:20.920 align:middle line:90%
00:12:20.920 --> 00:12:24.940 align:middle line:84%
In regard to masturbation, I
think that that is something
00:12:24.940 --> 00:12:30.040 align:middle line:84%
that is a part of human
sexuality, and it is a part of
00:12:30.040 --> 00:12:33.350 align:middle line:84%
something that perhaps
should be taught.
00:12:33.350 --> 00:12:36.440 align:middle line:84%
Jocelyn Elders, fired after
a series of controversial
00:12:36.440 --> 00:12:39.100 align:middle line:84%
statements about sex, abortion,
and masturbation.
00:12:39.100 --> 00:12:49.210 align:middle line:90%
00:12:49.210 --> 00:12:49.940 align:middle line:90%
Most of the terms for
00:12:49.940 --> 00:12:51.870 align:middle line:90%
masturbation tend to be humorous.
00:12:51.870 --> 00:12:55.030 align:middle line:84%
There are the old standards like
jack off and jerk off,
00:12:55.030 --> 00:12:57.000 align:middle line:84%
which are about 100
years old or so.
00:12:57.000 --> 00:12:59.320 align:middle line:84%
But now, most of the formations
you see tend to be
00:12:59.320 --> 00:13:02.810 align:middle line:84%
humorous ones-- things like beat
the meat, bop the bishop,
00:13:02.810 --> 00:13:06.160 align:middle line:84%
choke the chicken, flog the
dolphin, jerk the gerkin,
00:13:06.160 --> 00:13:08.500 align:middle line:84%
spank the monkey,
whip the weasel.
00:13:08.500 --> 00:13:10.620 align:middle line:84%
All of these are formations
with some kind of verb of
00:13:10.620 --> 00:13:12.820 align:middle line:90%
violence plus some noun.
00:13:12.820 --> 00:13:15.230 align:middle line:84%
And there are others as well,
things like making it with
00:13:15.230 --> 00:13:18.010 align:middle line:84%
Madam Palm and her five
daughters or something.
00:13:18.010 --> 00:13:20.260 align:middle line:84%
And these all come about because
masturbation isn\'t
00:13:20.260 --> 00:13:22.110 align:middle line:84%
something we\'re supposed
to take seriously.
00:13:22.110 --> 00:13:24.840 align:middle line:84%
You don\'t want to admit that
you\'re masturbating.
00:13:24.840 --> 00:13:27.460 align:middle line:90%
I prefer it dry.
00:13:27.460 --> 00:13:32.540 align:middle line:84%
I\'ve learned a deep sense of
control and concentration and
00:13:32.540 --> 00:13:36.340 align:middle line:90%
focus, and I\'m the best.
00:13:36.340 --> 00:13:38.950 align:middle line:90%
I\'m really good at it.
00:13:38.950 --> 00:13:47.210 align:middle line:84%
As a Black guy, admitting to
masturbation is like taboo,
00:13:47.210 --> 00:13:50.720 align:middle line:84%
whereas you would never hear
anybody admit to doing it.
00:13:50.720 --> 00:13:52.880 align:middle line:84%
And part of that has a lot
to do with bravado.
00:13:52.880 --> 00:13:56.070 align:middle line:84%
I think a lot of guys are saying
that they\'ve had their
00:13:56.070 --> 00:13:59.340 align:middle line:84%
starting sexual activity at such
a young age, especially
00:13:59.340 --> 00:14:00.520 align:middle line:90%
when I was coming up.
00:14:00.520 --> 00:14:03.960 align:middle line:84%
When I first discovered
jerking off--
00:14:03.960 --> 00:14:06.120 align:middle line:84%
and I guess I had been doing
it for three weeks at that
00:14:06.120 --> 00:14:08.430 align:middle line:84%
point, so it was pretty
much a daily thing.
00:14:08.430 --> 00:14:09.620 align:middle line:90%
And I went to the bathroom.
00:14:09.620 --> 00:14:11.700 align:middle line:84%
I was in the bathroom taking
care of business.
00:14:11.700 --> 00:14:13.140 align:middle line:84%
And my mother knocked on
the door and said, Jay,
00:14:13.140 --> 00:14:14.730 align:middle line:90%
what are you doing?
00:14:14.730 --> 00:14:16.190 align:middle line:90%
I\'m going to the bathroom, Ma.
00:14:16.190 --> 00:14:18.540 align:middle line:90%
And she said, sure you are.
00:14:18.540 --> 00:14:21.660 align:middle line:84%
I think my parents were
conscious, like they knew that
00:14:21.660 --> 00:14:25.480 align:middle line:84%
I was masturbating, but they
never talked to me about it
00:14:25.480 --> 00:14:26.770 align:middle line:90%
explicitly.
00:14:26.770 --> 00:14:29.130 align:middle line:84%
I remember coming down the
stairs one day and seeing this
00:14:29.130 --> 00:14:30.500 align:middle line:90%
lock on the cable box.
00:14:30.500 --> 00:14:33.790 align:middle line:84%
I must have spent a week at
least trying to figure out the
00:14:33.790 --> 00:14:38.630 align:middle line:84%
combination on that lock,
and eventually I got it.
00:14:38.630 --> 00:14:39.200 align:middle line:90%
I leaned back.
00:14:39.200 --> 00:14:41.570 align:middle line:84%
I started playing
with my nipples.
00:14:41.570 --> 00:14:44.960 align:middle line:84%
The blood starts pumping,
and I go at it.
00:14:44.960 --> 00:14:46.890 align:middle line:84%
And it\'s a very long
experience.
00:14:46.890 --> 00:14:48.420 align:middle line:84%
I\'ve had people knocking
on the door.
00:14:48.420 --> 00:14:49.150 align:middle line:90%
[INAUDIBLE].
00:14:49.150 --> 00:14:50.745 align:middle line:90%
Come on, get outta here.
00:14:50.745 --> 00:14:52.920 align:middle line:90%
Look, man, let me do my shit.
00:14:52.920 --> 00:14:55.150 align:middle line:90%
Let me get my groove on.
00:14:55.150 --> 00:14:57.733 align:middle line:84%
Because if you\'re going to jerk
off, you\'ve got to shoot
00:14:57.733 --> 00:14:58.720 align:middle line:90%
a good load.
00:14:58.720 --> 00:15:04.360 align:middle line:84%
I remember that scene of like
about six kids just laying in
00:15:04.360 --> 00:15:06.400 align:middle line:90%
the grass jerking off.
00:15:06.400 --> 00:15:09.470 align:middle line:84%
And it was like a
jerk-off race.
00:15:09.470 --> 00:15:12.540 align:middle line:84%
And I don\'t think I was even
able to cum yet, but I think I
00:15:12.540 --> 00:15:14.860 align:middle line:90%
probably lied about it.
00:15:14.860 --> 00:15:17.350 align:middle line:84%
And I think we just laid there
in the grass laughing at each
00:15:17.350 --> 00:15:19.770 align:middle line:84%
other and pointing
at each other.
00:15:19.770 --> 00:15:22.430 align:middle line:84%
It never occurred to me and
I never engaged in that in
00:15:22.430 --> 00:15:23.600 align:middle line:90%
adolescence at all.
00:15:23.600 --> 00:15:26.490 align:middle line:84%
And it was not until real candid
conversations at the
00:15:26.490 --> 00:15:29.150 align:middle line:84%
college level where I realized
that I was the
00:15:29.150 --> 00:15:30.650 align:middle line:90%
exception to the norm.
00:15:30.650 --> 00:15:32.600 align:middle line:90%
At first, I wasn\'t able.
00:15:32.600 --> 00:15:34.060 align:middle line:90%
I was like, I don\'t get it.
00:15:34.060 --> 00:15:34.980 align:middle line:90%
I can\'t do it.
00:15:34.980 --> 00:15:37.290 align:middle line:84%
And I talked with some other
friends, and they
00:15:37.290 --> 00:15:38.240 align:middle line:90%
also weren\'t able.
00:15:38.240 --> 00:15:40.400 align:middle line:84%
And we kind of like, well,
that\'s really intriguing.
00:15:40.400 --> 00:15:44.090 align:middle line:84%
How is person X, Y, and
Z able and we\'re not?
00:15:44.090 --> 00:15:47.080 align:middle line:84%
And so then, of course, it gets
into these funny little
00:15:47.080 --> 00:15:50.240 align:middle line:84%
conversations where the people
who can tell us how easy it
00:15:50.240 --> 00:15:52.230 align:middle line:84%
is, and if we just put
our minds to it, it
00:15:52.230 --> 00:15:53.970 align:middle line:90%
would all be done.
00:15:53.970 --> 00:15:59.100 align:middle line:84%
I find myself jerking off
or masturbating even
00:15:59.100 --> 00:16:00.195 align:middle line:90%
though I can\'t cum.
00:16:00.195 --> 00:16:01.160 align:middle line:90%
But it feels good.
00:16:01.160 --> 00:16:02.850 align:middle line:84%
The act of doing
it feels good.
00:16:02.850 --> 00:16:06.090 align:middle line:90%
My dick in my hand feels good.
00:16:06.090 --> 00:16:07.000 align:middle line:90%
It\'s got some weight.
00:16:07.000 --> 00:16:08.690 align:middle line:84%
It\'s got some muscle
behind it.
00:16:08.690 --> 00:16:10.800 align:middle line:84%
If I have time for it in the
morning and my girlfriend
00:16:10.800 --> 00:16:13.070 align:middle line:90%
isn\'t around, it\'s there.
00:16:13.070 --> 00:16:16.000 align:middle line:84%
And when it\'s convenient and I
have the time and I can enjoy
00:16:16.000 --> 00:16:17.090 align:middle line:90%
it, it\'s there.
00:16:17.090 --> 00:16:20.880 align:middle line:84%
So it\'s just a matter of
convenience, and it\'s fast.
00:16:20.880 --> 00:16:24.550 align:middle line:84%
I had this whole player thing
I\'d do, even though it was
00:16:24.550 --> 00:16:25.080 align:middle line:90%
just masturbating.
00:16:25.080 --> 00:16:27.750 align:middle line:84%
And I\'d put on the Roberta
Flack, and laid
00:16:27.750 --> 00:16:29.150 align:middle line:90%
back and have candle.
00:16:29.150 --> 00:16:31.400 align:middle line:84%
I just, I want to
make it special.
00:16:31.400 --> 00:16:34.560 align:middle line:84%
The last time I jerked off was
yesterday, completely.
00:16:34.560 --> 00:16:35.905 align:middle line:90%
In my house?
00:16:35.905 --> 00:16:38.420 align:middle line:90%
No, it wasn\'t in your house.
00:16:38.420 --> 00:16:41.765 align:middle line:84%
You jacked in the bathroom,
actually, yesterday.
00:16:41.765 --> 00:16:43.040 align:middle line:90%
Remember?
00:16:43.040 --> 00:16:43.980 align:middle line:90%
Where?
00:16:43.980 --> 00:16:45.470 align:middle line:84%
You told me you jacked
in the bathroom.
00:16:45.470 --> 00:16:46.655 align:middle line:90%
We were at that strip bar.
00:16:46.655 --> 00:16:47.905 align:middle line:90%
Oh, I was joking.
00:16:47.905 --> 00:17:09.359 align:middle line:90%
00:17:09.359 --> 00:17:13.490 align:middle line:84%
I, of course, probably have
measured my penis countless
00:17:13.490 --> 00:17:20.740 align:middle line:84%
times, hoping for the erections
and trying to see if
00:17:20.740 --> 00:17:23.160 align:middle line:90%
I\'ve lost penal size.
00:17:23.160 --> 00:17:25.524 align:middle line:84%
To be quite honest, and I didn\'t
really realize that I
00:17:25.524 --> 00:17:28.319 align:middle line:84%
had exceptional size
until I was in my
00:17:28.319 --> 00:17:30.320 align:middle line:90%
first year of college.
00:17:30.320 --> 00:17:31.090 align:middle line:90%
What happened--
00:17:31.090 --> 00:17:34.510 align:middle line:84%
I actually was with a girl who
had been with quite a few
00:17:34.510 --> 00:17:38.270 align:middle line:84%
people, and it was her ability
to compare my size with others
00:17:38.270 --> 00:17:41.520 align:middle line:84%
that said, hey, something\'s
wrong here.
00:17:41.520 --> 00:17:42.430 align:middle line:84%
And of course I was like,
what do you mean
00:17:42.430 --> 00:17:43.150 align:middle line:90%
something\'s wrong here?
00:17:43.150 --> 00:17:44.790 align:middle line:84%
She\'s like, I\'ve never seen
anything like that before.
00:17:44.790 --> 00:17:47.190 align:middle line:84%
And it was at that point I said
to myself, wow, there
00:17:47.190 --> 00:17:52.960 align:middle line:84%
really must be something here
that may be of some interest.
00:17:52.960 --> 00:17:55.200 align:middle line:90%
Whenever I am with a guy--
00:17:55.200 --> 00:17:56.890 align:middle line:84%
it doesn\'t always have
to be sexual--
00:17:56.890 --> 00:18:00.580 align:middle line:84%
who is 10 inches, 11 inches
himself, it\'s always an
00:18:00.580 --> 00:18:02.735 align:middle line:84%
interesting response, because
they\'re never with someone
00:18:02.735 --> 00:18:04.040 align:middle line:90%
who\'s larger.
00:18:04.040 --> 00:18:06.070 align:middle line:84%
Thankfully I haven\'t been with
some larger, nor do I want to.
00:18:06.070 --> 00:18:08.600 align:middle line:84%
So if there\'s a guy there was
a legitimate 15-incher out
00:18:08.600 --> 00:18:09.760 align:middle line:90%
there, please not looked me up.
00:18:09.760 --> 00:18:10.230 align:middle line:90%
Thank you.
00:18:10.230 --> 00:18:18.640 align:middle line:84%
My penis is about half the size
of this cigar when it\'s
00:18:18.640 --> 00:18:21.230 align:middle line:90%
erect, and it\'s rather tiny.
00:18:21.230 --> 00:18:23.260 align:middle line:84%
In fact, I could probably be
in the Guinness Book of
00:18:23.260 --> 00:18:25.930 align:middle line:84%
Records, but I would never
put myself on the
00:18:25.930 --> 00:18:27.690 align:middle line:90%
block, so to speak.
00:18:27.690 --> 00:18:29.660 align:middle line:90%
Just give me darkness.
00:18:29.660 --> 00:18:31.080 align:middle line:90%
I\'ll do OK, and you will too.
00:18:31.080 --> 00:18:31.990 align:middle line:90%
You\'ll love it.
00:18:31.990 --> 00:18:36.040 align:middle line:84%
But this young lady, said, hey,
let\'s do it in the light.
00:18:36.040 --> 00:18:39.800 align:middle line:84%
So I don\'t want to turn her off
right away if I say no,
00:18:39.800 --> 00:18:42.580 align:middle line:84%
and also I get a chance to see
her body, and she\'s stripping,
00:18:42.580 --> 00:18:44.170 align:middle line:84%
and she gets a chance
to see mine.
00:18:44.170 --> 00:18:46.020 align:middle line:84%
And then I forgot,
for a moment.
00:18:46.020 --> 00:18:48.720 align:middle line:84%
I was lulled into a sense of
security that, [WHISTLES],
00:18:48.720 --> 00:18:52.000 align:middle line:84%
wait a minute buddy, you\'ve got
the smallest penis on the
00:18:52.000 --> 00:18:54.540 align:middle line:90%
block, remember?
00:18:54.540 --> 00:18:55.320 align:middle line:90%
Oh, well, what the hell.
00:18:55.320 --> 00:18:56.610 align:middle line:90%
Take a chance.
00:18:56.610 --> 00:18:57.360 align:middle line:90%
And I lost.
00:18:57.360 --> 00:19:01.180 align:middle line:84%
I blew it, because she saw the
penis and started laughing,
00:19:01.180 --> 00:19:02.720 align:middle line:90%
and was hysterical.
00:19:02.720 --> 00:19:05.670 align:middle line:84%
There was like a real sense of
inadequacy that was projected
00:19:05.670 --> 00:19:09.970 align:middle line:84%
upon me as being like, well, I
mean there were other kids my
00:19:09.970 --> 00:19:15.140 align:middle line:84%
size, but it seems that our
culture says bigger is better.
00:19:15.140 --> 00:19:18.970 align:middle line:84%
Is virility a matter of penis
size or a matter of basically
00:19:18.970 --> 00:19:20.420 align:middle line:90%
how many times you procreate?
00:19:20.420 --> 00:19:22.900 align:middle line:84%
I\'m exceptionally small
for a Black man.
00:19:22.900 --> 00:19:24.330 align:middle line:90%
I think you have a problem.
00:19:24.330 --> 00:19:26.950 align:middle line:90%
Well, I\'m six and a half.
00:19:26.950 --> 00:19:29.440 align:middle line:84%
Yeah, but Black men are all
about the thickness.
00:19:29.440 --> 00:19:29.970 align:middle line:90%
Girth?
00:19:29.970 --> 00:19:31.730 align:middle line:84%
Well, I mean, I have a
pretty good girth.
00:19:31.730 --> 00:19:32.210 align:middle line:90%
I mean, that\'s not--
00:19:32.210 --> 00:19:34.060 align:middle line:84%
But that\'s the Black
stereotype.
00:19:34.060 --> 00:19:36.930 align:middle line:84%
It\'s not always how long it
is for the black guy.
00:19:36.930 --> 00:19:39.410 align:middle line:84%
I think there are Black men with
tiny little penises and
00:19:39.410 --> 00:19:41.710 align:middle line:84%
there are White men with
tiny little penises.
00:19:41.710 --> 00:19:44.530 align:middle line:84%
And there are Black men with big
old penises and there are
00:19:44.530 --> 00:19:47.390 align:middle line:84%
White men with big old
massive penises.
00:19:47.390 --> 00:19:54.190 align:middle line:84%
So I think it\'s an old wives\'
tale, like many, many others.
00:19:54.190 --> 00:19:58.950 align:middle line:84%
Women do think about size and
would rather have a guy with a
00:19:58.950 --> 00:20:00.990 align:middle line:90%
larger penis than not.
00:20:00.990 --> 00:20:02.870 align:middle line:84%
Because one question I\'ll ask
to any woman who says size
00:20:02.870 --> 00:20:03.930 align:middle line:90%
doesn\'t matter.
00:20:03.930 --> 00:20:07.360 align:middle line:84%
My question to them would be
you go into a sex shop.
00:20:07.360 --> 00:20:09.720 align:middle line:84%
Do you buy the dildo measuring
four inches or do you buy the
00:20:09.720 --> 00:20:12.280 align:middle line:84%
dildo measuring eight
inches or above?
00:20:12.280 --> 00:20:16.790 align:middle line:84%
In my late \'40s, and I\'d gone
through a lot of problems, and
00:20:16.790 --> 00:20:20.196 align:middle line:84%
I just needed more of
a boost in my life.
00:20:20.196 --> 00:20:23.720 align:middle line:84%
And I think the enlargement
surgery, the penis
00:20:23.720 --> 00:20:26.520 align:middle line:84%
enlargement, is just something
that I said, well, maybe that
00:20:26.520 --> 00:20:28.970 align:middle line:84%
will make me feel a little
bit better--
00:20:28.970 --> 00:20:29.970 align:middle line:90%
and it does--
00:20:29.970 --> 00:20:31.050 align:middle line:90%
about myself.
00:20:31.050 --> 00:20:33.380 align:middle line:84%
Because even when you go into
a room, if it\'s a boardroom,
00:20:33.380 --> 00:20:36.960 align:middle line:84%
and you\'ve got on a three piece
suit, it gives you a
00:20:36.960 --> 00:20:40.120 align:middle line:84%
little edge knowing that
you\'ve probably
00:20:40.120 --> 00:20:41.430 align:middle line:90%
got a little more.
00:20:41.430 --> 00:20:46.490 align:middle line:84%
To lengthen the penis, it\'s
a two-part thing.
00:20:46.490 --> 00:20:48.790 align:middle line:84%
The first part is the operation
itself, what the
00:20:48.790 --> 00:20:53.340 align:middle line:84%
doctor does, and the second part
is what the patient does.
00:20:53.340 --> 00:20:57.170 align:middle line:84%
And mainly, you have to
use weight systems--
00:20:57.170 --> 00:21:01.140 align:middle line:84%
anything that you can do to
allow your penis to become
00:21:01.140 --> 00:21:04.410 align:middle line:84%
longer and stay longer as
much time as possible.
00:21:04.410 --> 00:21:08.060 align:middle line:84%
I spend maybe two hours
a day optimally.
00:21:08.060 --> 00:21:10.850 align:middle line:84%
As long as you keep pulling on
it, eventually you\'ll get the
00:21:10.850 --> 00:21:12.220 align:middle line:90%
desired effect.
00:21:12.220 --> 00:21:15.980 align:middle line:84%
As far as the size of a dick
is concerned, it\'s life.
00:21:15.980 --> 00:21:18.900 align:middle line:84%
We\'ve got short people, we\'ve
got tall people, we\'ve got
00:21:18.900 --> 00:21:20.790 align:middle line:90%
people with one arm, one leg.
00:21:20.790 --> 00:21:21.680 align:middle line:90%
What\'s the difference?
00:21:21.680 --> 00:21:22.660 align:middle line:90%
It\'s all up here.
00:21:22.660 --> 00:21:23.820 align:middle line:90%
It\'s not down there.
00:21:23.820 --> 00:21:26.460 align:middle line:84%
But we\'ve got too many people
thinking that the size of your
00:21:26.460 --> 00:21:28.020 align:middle line:90%
dick means everything.
00:21:28.020 --> 00:21:29.800 align:middle line:84%
I mean, the guy with 10 inches
is going to give her a
00:21:29.800 --> 00:21:31.280 align:middle line:90%
hysterectomy.
00:21:31.280 --> 00:21:34.550 align:middle line:84%
My two inches, I\'m going to hide
it, but I\'m going to do
00:21:34.550 --> 00:21:37.120 align:middle line:84%
something else that\'s going
to make her really happy.
00:21:37.120 --> 00:21:39.850 align:middle line:84%
I\'ll tell all you guys with
number 10s out there--
00:21:39.850 --> 00:21:42.250 align:middle line:84%
watch out for the little guys,
because it\'s the tortoise and
00:21:42.250 --> 00:21:43.500 align:middle line:84%
the hare, and we\'re
going to win.
00:21:43.500 --> 00:22:15.920 align:middle line:90%
00:22:15.920 --> 00:22:19.650 align:middle line:84%
When I was circumcised, I had
to be about eight or nine.
00:22:19.650 --> 00:22:22.870 align:middle line:84%
And I walked to my doctor\'s
office, which
00:22:22.870 --> 00:22:24.390 align:middle line:90%
was two blocks away.
00:22:24.390 --> 00:22:28.380 align:middle line:84%
And I lied there, and they sort
of put a sheet over me
00:22:28.380 --> 00:22:31.820 align:middle line:84%
with a hole, and gave me a
couple of shots in my penis
00:22:31.820 --> 00:22:32.920 align:middle line:90%
and just numbed it.
00:22:32.920 --> 00:22:34.820 align:middle line:84%
And they told me it
wouldn\'t hurt.
00:22:34.820 --> 00:22:37.695 align:middle line:84%
And I remember being up during
the whole thing.
00:22:37.695 --> 00:22:41.140 align:middle line:84%
I wasn\'t under any anesthesia
or anything like that.
00:22:41.140 --> 00:22:45.090 align:middle line:84%
I was born in a Jewish hospital,
and I think that
00:22:45.090 --> 00:22:47.560 align:middle line:84%
they were just giving
them out.
00:22:47.560 --> 00:22:50.060 align:middle line:84%
I don\'t know what the scene
was back then, but I think
00:22:50.060 --> 00:22:53.050 align:middle line:84%
basically it was part
of the course.
00:22:53.050 --> 00:22:56.120 align:middle line:84%
You just had a baby boy and
he was circumcised.
00:22:56.120 --> 00:23:04.640 align:middle line:84%
I was born in 1942 in Russia
at the height of the war.
00:23:04.640 --> 00:23:08.520 align:middle line:84%
My mother did not have me
circumcised, feeling that if
00:23:08.520 --> 00:23:11.460 align:middle line:84%
the Germans came that far, the
first thing they\'d check is
00:23:11.460 --> 00:23:12.920 align:middle line:90%
the male children.
00:23:12.920 --> 00:23:15.280 align:middle line:84%
And not being circumcised, and
I had blonde hair and blue
00:23:15.280 --> 00:23:19.300 align:middle line:84%
eyes at the time, they wouldn\'t
bother with us.
00:23:19.300 --> 00:23:21.400 align:middle line:84%
In other words, they
wouldn\'t kill me.
00:23:21.400 --> 00:23:24.010 align:middle line:84%
I\'m glad that I am circumcised,
The guys that I
00:23:24.010 --> 00:23:28.140 align:middle line:84%
have seen that are
uncircumcised, I am happier
00:23:28.140 --> 00:23:30.045 align:middle line:90%
with the way I am.
00:23:30.045 --> 00:23:31.440 align:middle line:90%
I think it looks better.
00:23:31.440 --> 00:23:33.880 align:middle line:84%
I think there\'s something very
shady about an uncircumcised
00:23:33.880 --> 00:23:35.340 align:middle line:84%
penis-- something
untrustworthy.
00:23:35.340 --> 00:23:36.820 align:middle line:90%
It\'s like hoodage.
00:23:36.820 --> 00:23:39.570 align:middle line:84%
Circumcision is a violation
of our civil rights.
00:23:39.570 --> 00:23:42.780 align:middle line:84%
I think it\'s a horrendous
experience.
00:23:42.780 --> 00:23:45.660 align:middle line:84%
If I had my way-- because
I am circumcised--
00:23:45.660 --> 00:23:50.080 align:middle line:84%
I would have a class action
lawsuit against all parents in
00:23:50.080 --> 00:23:53.540 align:middle line:84%
America for committing this
horrendous crime.
00:23:53.540 --> 00:23:57.880 align:middle line:84%
When I was in my teens, the
circumcision that I had had
00:23:57.880 --> 00:24:01.370 align:middle line:84%
caused tight painfully
erections, because the doctor
00:24:01.370 --> 00:24:04.590 align:middle line:84%
who circumcised me-- and I was
circumcised as an infant--
00:24:04.590 --> 00:24:06.390 align:middle line:90%
took off too much skin.
00:24:06.390 --> 00:24:10.750 align:middle line:84%
I was so angry over the
circumcision that I wanted to
00:24:10.750 --> 00:24:12.660 align:middle line:90%
have something done about it.
00:24:12.660 --> 00:24:16.410 align:middle line:84%
I thought for years, who the
hell took it upon himself to
00:24:16.410 --> 00:24:20.090 align:middle line:84%
do this to my body, to
rape me like that?
00:24:20.090 --> 00:24:22.650 align:middle line:84%
Surgical restoration
can be a gamble.
00:24:22.650 --> 00:24:25.940 align:middle line:84%
The graft may not necessarily
take.
00:24:25.940 --> 00:24:28.620 align:middle line:84%
There are the usual risks
with surgery--
00:24:28.620 --> 00:24:31.090 align:middle line:90%
infection, bleeding.
00:24:31.090 --> 00:24:33.190 align:middle line:84%
I didn\'t care about how
much it hurt, how
00:24:33.190 --> 00:24:34.830 align:middle line:90%
uncomfortable it felt.
00:24:34.830 --> 00:24:37.110 align:middle line:84%
I was going to go through
with it, and I did.
00:24:37.110 --> 00:25:09.720 align:middle line:90%
00:25:09.720 --> 00:25:12.460 align:middle line:84%
It\'s hard to put a name to what
I\'ve got between my legs.
00:25:12.460 --> 00:25:14.820 align:middle line:84%
We can call it genitals,
genitalia.
00:25:14.820 --> 00:25:16.530 align:middle line:84%
That would be really,
really safe.
00:25:16.530 --> 00:25:18.670 align:middle line:84%
As soon as you get into the
area-- because you hear, oh my
00:25:18.670 --> 00:25:21.945 align:middle line:90%
god, he cut off his penis.
00:25:21.945 --> 00:25:23.340 align:middle line:90%
Well, they didn\'t cut it off.
00:25:23.340 --> 00:25:25.630 align:middle line:84%
They don\'t cut off your
penis in most of the
00:25:25.630 --> 00:25:27.260 align:middle line:90%
procedures done today.
00:25:27.260 --> 00:25:31.190 align:middle line:84%
They turn it up inside you,
inside out, and construct the
00:25:31.190 --> 00:25:32.770 align:middle line:90%
vaginal walls with your penis.
00:25:32.770 --> 00:25:35.910 align:middle line:84%
Whenever anybody asks me,
so what your dick like?
00:25:35.910 --> 00:25:38.850 align:middle line:84%
I have to ask, well, which one
do you want to know about?
00:25:38.850 --> 00:25:42.760 align:middle line:84%
Do you want to know about the
one that\'s attached, which, in
00:25:42.760 --> 00:25:51.290 align:middle line:84%
my case is a hormonally induced
dick that is not going
00:25:51.290 --> 00:25:54.030 align:middle line:84%
to look exactly like a
non-transexual man\'s penis,
00:25:54.030 --> 00:25:56.910 align:middle line:84%
but functions much
in the same way.
00:25:56.910 --> 00:25:59.740 align:middle line:84%
Which is about the size of
my thumb when I\'m hard.
00:25:59.740 --> 00:26:04.190 align:middle line:84%
I don\'t have genitals that look
very much like a woman\'s
00:26:04.190 --> 00:26:06.820 align:middle line:84%
anymore, and I don\'t have
genitals that look very much
00:26:06.820 --> 00:26:09.220 align:middle line:84%
like a non-transexual
man\'s genitals.
00:26:09.220 --> 00:26:12.020 align:middle line:84%
I have really specific
genitalia.
00:26:12.020 --> 00:26:16.940 align:middle line:84%
Testosterone increases the
size of the clitoris, and
00:26:16.940 --> 00:26:20.660 align:middle line:84%
basically a clit and a dick are
made of the same material.
00:26:20.660 --> 00:26:28.720 align:middle line:84%
What I\'ve got makes me look at
the world and wonder what is
00:26:28.720 --> 00:26:31.870 align:middle line:84%
it that makes people
stay so rigidly
00:26:31.870 --> 00:26:34.990 align:middle line:90%
defined by their genitals?
00:26:34.990 --> 00:26:38.400 align:middle line:84%
What a silly thing to
base an identity on.
00:26:38.400 --> 00:26:40.430 align:middle line:84%
And I don\'t mean any
disrespect to
00:26:40.430 --> 00:26:42.800 align:middle line:90%
people who do it--
00:26:42.800 --> 00:26:43.990 align:middle line:90%
I don\'t.
00:26:43.990 --> 00:26:46.730 align:middle line:84%
I did it myself for
years and years.
00:26:46.730 --> 00:26:49.630 align:middle line:84%
What I\'ve got functions
really well.
00:26:49.630 --> 00:26:52.190 align:middle line:84%
My fiance\'s not complaining
about it.
00:26:52.190 --> 00:26:56.250 align:middle line:84%
And a slip of a surgeon\'s knife,
and I won\'t have any
00:26:56.250 --> 00:26:57.270 align:middle line:90%
sexual function anymore.
00:26:57.270 --> 00:27:00.420 align:middle line:84%
That\'s kind of too much
of a risk for me.
00:27:00.420 --> 00:27:04.530 align:middle line:84%
And frankly, who cares about my
dick other than my fiance?
00:27:04.530 --> 00:27:07.570 align:middle line:84%
I mean, unless I\'m going to be
fucking you, what do you care
00:27:07.570 --> 00:27:09.880 align:middle line:90%
whether I have one or not?
00:27:09.880 --> 00:27:12.920 align:middle line:84%
Keep something between you and
the germs of venereal disease
00:27:12.920 --> 00:27:14.900 align:middle line:90%
by using a good rubber.
00:27:14.900 --> 00:27:18.350 align:middle line:84%
Inflate it with air as you would
a toy balloon until the
00:27:18.350 --> 00:27:20.270 align:middle line:90%
rubber is fully extended.
00:27:20.270 --> 00:27:23.990 align:middle line:84%
It may be further tested by
filling it with water and
00:27:23.990 --> 00:27:26.610 align:middle line:84%
noting if any oozing
is present.
00:27:26.610 --> 00:27:29.330 align:middle line:84%
When you are through,
unroll the rubber.
00:27:29.330 --> 00:27:33.430 align:middle line:84%
If the woman has gonorrhea or
syphilis, as she probably has,
00:27:33.430 --> 00:27:36.540 align:middle line:84%
there will be millions of germs
on the rubber and on the
00:27:36.540 --> 00:27:37.955 align:middle line:84%
surfaces surrounding
the penis.
00:27:37.955 --> 00:27:42.860 align:middle line:90%
00:27:42.860 --> 00:27:45.430 align:middle line:84%
I was 19 and the war
was still on.
00:27:45.430 --> 00:27:49.680 align:middle line:84%
And they showed us movies about
VD, and the standard
00:27:49.680 --> 00:27:52.820 align:middle line:84%
stuff was gonorrhea
and syphilis.
00:27:52.820 --> 00:27:55.640 align:middle line:84%
And they had a black stuff
like toothpaste--
00:27:55.640 --> 00:27:56.850 align:middle line:90%
god awful stuff--
00:27:56.850 --> 00:28:00.600 align:middle line:84%
to shoot inside to kill the
gonorrhea, into the urethra.
00:28:00.600 --> 00:28:03.560 align:middle line:84%
And then they have the white
stuff that was for syphilis,
00:28:03.560 --> 00:28:07.290 align:middle line:84%
and you could put that all
over your penis and upper
00:28:07.290 --> 00:28:08.570 align:middle line:90%
crotch area.
00:28:08.570 --> 00:28:14.050 align:middle line:84%
And then you wrap all that in
terrible wax paper and stuff
00:28:14.050 --> 00:28:15.950 align:middle line:90%
it into your shorts.
00:28:15.950 --> 00:28:19.210 align:middle line:84%
After this aesthetic Romeo and
Juliet thing, you\'re supposed
00:28:19.210 --> 00:28:21.520 align:middle line:90%
to go do this?
00:28:21.520 --> 00:28:25.710 align:middle line:84%
Along the way there over the
years, I picked up gonorrhea a
00:28:25.710 --> 00:28:31.890 align:middle line:84%
few times, once I got the big
one, which is syphilis.
00:28:31.890 --> 00:28:35.115 align:middle line:84%
And that was in the penicillin
days, and they knocked that
00:28:35.115 --> 00:28:36.290 align:middle line:90%
out very quickly.
00:28:36.290 --> 00:28:38.920 align:middle line:84%
I used condoms, of course,
and I feel very
00:28:38.920 --> 00:28:40.475 align:middle line:90%
comfortable using them.
00:28:40.475 --> 00:28:44.930 align:middle line:84%
I actually use them to
masturbate sometimes.
00:28:44.930 --> 00:28:47.270 align:middle line:84%
I don\'t know why, just maybe
so that I could get into a
00:28:47.270 --> 00:28:49.410 align:middle line:90%
good habit of using them.
00:28:49.410 --> 00:28:50.400 align:middle line:90%
There\'s a third partner.
00:28:50.400 --> 00:28:53.790 align:middle line:84%
It\'s the penis, vagina,
and the condom.
00:28:53.790 --> 00:28:55.390 align:middle line:90%
The holy trinity.
00:28:55.390 --> 00:28:58.280 align:middle line:90%
It\'s a holy trinity.
00:28:58.280 --> 00:29:00.670 align:middle line:84%
The word condom itself goes back
to the 18th century in
00:29:00.670 --> 00:29:01.820 align:middle line:90%
Scottish use.
00:29:01.820 --> 00:29:03.590 align:middle line:84%
Back then, it referred to
something made of sheep\'s
00:29:03.590 --> 00:29:06.030 align:middle line:84%
intestine, which is kind of
hard to fathom nowadays.
00:29:06.030 --> 00:29:07.690 align:middle line:84%
But it shows that the
term has been around
00:29:07.690 --> 00:29:08.990 align:middle line:90%
for quite some time.
00:29:08.990 --> 00:29:11.060 align:middle line:84%
In the 20th century, I think
rubber has been the most
00:29:11.060 --> 00:29:14.450 align:middle line:84%
commonly used throughout the
century, but scumbag has been
00:29:14.450 --> 00:29:15.810 align:middle line:90%
around since the 1930s.
00:29:15.810 --> 00:29:17.780 align:middle line:84%
And most people really
don\'t realize this.
00:29:17.780 --> 00:29:20.780 align:middle line:84%
Everyone knows scumbag is a term
for an offensive person,
00:29:20.780 --> 00:29:23.490 align:middle line:84%
but, in fact, the original sense
was a condom, and that\'s
00:29:23.490 --> 00:29:26.820 align:middle line:84%
based on the slightly earlier
use of scum for semen.
00:29:26.820 --> 00:29:30.250 align:middle line:84%
Some other ones more recently
are glove, referring to a
00:29:30.250 --> 00:29:33.640 align:middle line:84%
condom, which has its own spawn,
such as love glove or
00:29:33.640 --> 00:29:36.210 align:middle line:90%
stud glove or even fuck glove.
00:29:36.210 --> 00:29:39.030 align:middle line:84%
Perhaps the most recent is Jimmy
hat-- a rap music term
00:29:39.030 --> 00:29:41.530 align:middle line:84%
coming from Jimmy as a
term for the penis.
00:29:41.530 --> 00:29:44.720 align:middle line:84%
And one of the most recent and
most offensive has got to be
00:29:44.720 --> 00:29:47.830 align:middle line:84%
Coney Island white fish, which
refers to a used condom that
00:29:47.830 --> 00:29:49.370 align:middle line:90%
washes up on the seashore.
00:29:49.370 --> 00:29:54.010 align:middle line:84%
For me, a very important part of
having a penis is the fact
00:29:54.010 --> 00:29:55.670 align:middle line:90%
that I acquired an STD.
00:29:55.670 --> 00:29:56.960 align:middle line:90%
I have herpes.
00:29:56.960 --> 00:29:59.240 align:middle line:90%
About six years ago--
00:29:59.240 --> 00:30:03.000 align:middle line:84%
I was in a committed
relationship when it happened.
00:30:03.000 --> 00:30:07.240 align:middle line:84%
So a lot of times people, when
they hear that you\'re very
00:30:07.240 --> 00:30:11.490 align:middle line:84%
sexually active like I am or
very open about my sexuality,
00:30:11.490 --> 00:30:13.340 align:middle line:84%
they feel, well, yeah,
and you have herpes.
00:30:13.340 --> 00:30:14.360 align:middle line:90%
That\'s the price you pay.
00:30:14.360 --> 00:30:16.940 align:middle line:84%
When actually, it was when
I was supposed to be in a
00:30:16.940 --> 00:30:19.590 align:middle line:84%
dedicated committed relationship
that I ended up
00:30:19.590 --> 00:30:21.920 align:middle line:84%
getting herpes because someone
cheated on me.
00:30:21.920 --> 00:30:23.370 align:middle line:84%
I didn\'t quite know
what I had.
00:30:23.370 --> 00:30:23.990 align:middle line:90%
I didn\'t know about it.
00:30:23.990 --> 00:30:25.600 align:middle line:84%
I didn\'t know what
to do about it.
00:30:25.600 --> 00:30:28.830 align:middle line:84%
So maybe once or twice,
I hid it.
00:30:28.830 --> 00:30:30.570 align:middle line:84%
But I always wore a condom
anyway, so I
00:30:30.570 --> 00:30:31.400 align:middle line:90%
figured it was safe.
00:30:31.400 --> 00:30:33.470 align:middle line:84%
And then after a while, I
realized this is not something
00:30:33.470 --> 00:30:34.340 align:middle line:90%
that you can do.
00:30:34.340 --> 00:30:36.030 align:middle line:90%
So I say it.
00:30:36.030 --> 00:30:40.010 align:middle line:84%
And I have almost a little
method, a little way that I
00:30:40.010 --> 00:30:42.300 align:middle line:84%
get into the subject and
I talk about it.
00:30:42.300 --> 00:30:47.400 align:middle line:84%
And I deal with it like
everything else-- as openly
00:30:47.400 --> 00:30:52.210 align:middle line:84%
and forthrightly and
in a strong manner.
00:30:52.210 --> 00:30:56.460 align:middle line:90%
00:30:56.460 --> 00:30:59.750 align:middle line:84%
I try to be logical about it and
I try to acknowledge the
00:30:59.750 --> 00:31:01.550 align:middle line:90%
emotions that it brings out.
00:31:01.550 --> 00:31:06.310 align:middle line:84%
I have had a few friends die
right in my arms, so I know
00:31:06.310 --> 00:31:07.950 align:middle line:84%
what the whole AIDS
thing is about.
00:31:07.950 --> 00:31:12.620 align:middle line:90%
I\'m not naive about that.
00:31:12.620 --> 00:31:13.750 align:middle line:90%
It\'s a serious thing.
00:31:13.750 --> 00:31:20.090 align:middle line:84%
And I know there\'s people in
my life that are becoming
00:31:20.090 --> 00:31:22.760 align:middle line:90%
positive every day.
00:31:22.760 --> 00:31:27.840 align:middle line:90%
And I don\'t know why I\'m not.
00:31:27.840 --> 00:31:30.360 align:middle line:84%
Being HIV positive, there was a
period in the late \'80s when
00:31:30.360 --> 00:31:32.930 align:middle line:90%
I discovered that--
00:31:32.930 --> 00:31:33.550 align:middle line:90%
that it did.
00:31:33.550 --> 00:31:34.480 align:middle line:90%
You go into fear.
00:31:34.480 --> 00:31:37.320 align:middle line:90%
You think you\'re going to die.
00:31:37.320 --> 00:31:40.210 align:middle line:84%
You go into fear and you
either get holistic and
00:31:40.210 --> 00:31:43.730 align:middle line:84%
healthy, which is what I did,
or you can go in to fear and
00:31:43.730 --> 00:31:46.530 align:middle line:84%
just start screwing like
there\'s no tomorrow.
00:31:46.530 --> 00:31:49.765 align:middle line:84%
My penis is not at fault
for my HIV positivity.
00:31:49.765 --> 00:31:52.280 align:middle line:90%
00:31:52.280 --> 00:31:53.560 align:middle line:90%
There\'s no fault anywhere.
00:31:53.560 --> 00:32:24.240 align:middle line:90%
00:32:24.240 --> 00:32:26.920 align:middle line:84%
I think the biggest problem
in oral sex today--
00:32:26.920 --> 00:32:29.150 align:middle line:90%
In oral sex today.
00:32:29.150 --> 00:32:29.440 align:middle line:90%
Really.
00:32:29.440 --> 00:32:31.890 align:middle line:84%
It\'s like, they don\'t have to
head and the hand motions
00:32:31.890 --> 00:32:32.800 align:middle line:90%
synchronized.
00:32:32.800 --> 00:32:33.180 align:middle line:90%
Never.
00:32:33.180 --> 00:32:34.320 align:middle line:90%
They\'re working this way.
00:32:34.320 --> 00:32:35.810 align:middle line:90%
You know what I\'m saying?
00:32:35.810 --> 00:32:37.270 align:middle line:84%
They\'re trying to
pull it apart.
00:32:37.270 --> 00:32:38.510 align:middle line:90%
Teeth bother us.
00:32:38.510 --> 00:32:39.410 align:middle line:90%
Of course, yeah.
00:32:39.410 --> 00:32:40.220 align:middle line:90%
[INAUDIBLE] teeth.
00:32:40.220 --> 00:32:41.080 align:middle line:90%
That\'s a given.
00:32:41.080 --> 00:32:43.130 align:middle line:84%
They think we\'re rougher
than we are.
00:32:43.130 --> 00:32:46.900 align:middle line:84%
Have someone bite into your
strongest muscles on your body
00:32:46.900 --> 00:32:48.780 align:middle line:84%
when it was flexed, and
of course you\'d
00:32:48.780 --> 00:32:49.980 align:middle line:90%
see the pain there.
00:32:49.980 --> 00:32:52.350 align:middle line:84%
It\'s the same thing with ah
penis when it\'s erect.
00:32:52.350 --> 00:32:53.930 align:middle line:90%
It\'s tragically painful.
00:32:53.930 --> 00:32:56.250 align:middle line:84%
And on set, it\'s
a wood killer.
00:32:56.250 --> 00:32:58.310 align:middle line:84%
I\'m a kind of person that I\'m
more interested in my partner
00:32:58.310 --> 00:32:59.700 align:middle line:84%
and giving pleasure
to my partner.
00:32:59.700 --> 00:33:03.830 align:middle line:84%
And I get pleasure vicariously
through that.
00:33:03.830 --> 00:33:07.600 align:middle line:84%
I\'m almost a little
uncomfortable being totally on
00:33:07.600 --> 00:33:11.360 align:middle line:84%
the receiving end, because
I like to be reciprocal.
00:33:11.360 --> 00:33:12.350 align:middle line:90%
We got out of school early.
00:33:12.350 --> 00:33:14.170 align:middle line:90%
I was in high school.
00:33:14.170 --> 00:33:17.510 align:middle line:84%
And she parked where I parked,
and I was like, what\'s up?
00:33:17.510 --> 00:33:18.320 align:middle line:90%
What\'s going on?
00:33:18.320 --> 00:33:21.400 align:middle line:84%
She goes, well, I\'m going to
give you a blow job right now.
00:33:21.400 --> 00:33:22.890 align:middle line:84%
And it was daylight, and
I\'m looking around.
00:33:22.890 --> 00:33:23.830 align:middle line:90%
And this is believable.
00:33:23.830 --> 00:33:25.350 align:middle line:90%
This is so taboo.
00:33:25.350 --> 00:33:26.400 align:middle line:84%
But that wasn\'t enough
for her.
00:33:26.400 --> 00:33:29.570 align:middle line:84%
She takes this watch off her
wrist, and she goes, I\'m going
00:33:29.570 --> 00:33:31.290 align:middle line:90%
to time you on it.
00:33:31.290 --> 00:33:33.520 align:middle line:84%
And I\'m going to blow
you for one minute.
00:33:33.520 --> 00:33:35.070 align:middle line:84%
And if you don\'t finish,
you don\'t finish.
00:33:35.070 --> 00:33:37.560 align:middle line:84%
And then you have to beg
me to keep going.
00:33:37.560 --> 00:33:38.770 align:middle line:90%
And I was so worked up.
00:33:38.770 --> 00:33:40.060 align:middle line:90%
And it\'s light out.
00:33:40.060 --> 00:33:41.100 align:middle line:84%
I just couldn\'t even
believe this.
00:33:41.100 --> 00:33:42.440 align:middle line:90%
And she goes down.
00:33:42.440 --> 00:33:43.320 align:middle line:84%
She starts giving
me the blow job.
00:33:43.320 --> 00:33:45.910 align:middle line:84%
And I just lose sense
of time and space.
00:33:45.910 --> 00:33:46.680 align:middle line:90%
I don\'t know where I am.
00:33:46.680 --> 00:33:49.010 align:middle line:84%
And all of a sudden,
I\'m ejaculating.
00:33:49.010 --> 00:33:51.645 align:middle line:84%
And she comes up, and
I\'m like, did
00:33:51.645 --> 00:33:52.620 align:middle line:90%
you go over a minute?
00:33:52.620 --> 00:33:56.070 align:middle line:84%
And she just looks at the watch,
and she says, well, you
00:33:56.070 --> 00:33:57.320 align:middle line:90%
have time for another.
00:33:57.320 --> 00:34:29.639 align:middle line:90%
00:34:29.639 --> 00:34:32.389 align:middle line:84%
One big category is terms
for weaponry--
00:34:32.389 --> 00:34:37.330 align:middle line:84%
gun and pistol and sword
and spear, lance.
00:34:37.330 --> 00:34:40.130 align:middle line:84%
These go back a very long way
and reflect man\'s interest in
00:34:40.130 --> 00:34:43.050 align:middle line:84%
his own physical power and
strength, and even some of the
00:34:43.050 --> 00:34:45.520 align:middle line:84%
more modern jocular formations,
like love rocket
00:34:45.520 --> 00:34:48.570 align:middle line:84%
or heat-seeking moisture
missile, still uphold this
00:34:48.570 --> 00:34:50.880 align:middle line:84%
manly image of someone
who conquers and
00:34:50.880 --> 00:34:53.139 align:middle line:90%
attacks and uses violence.
00:34:53.139 --> 00:34:55.210 align:middle line:84%
When the cock takes over
it, it takes over
00:34:55.210 --> 00:34:56.830 align:middle line:90%
what leaves your mouth.
00:34:56.830 --> 00:34:59.330 align:middle line:84%
You say these things that you
just know are not true.
00:34:59.330 --> 00:35:01.750 align:middle line:84%
I mean, you\'re lying and you\'re
doing it with such
00:35:01.750 --> 00:35:04.120 align:middle line:84%
sincerity that after
the fact--
00:35:04.120 --> 00:35:04.690 align:middle line:90%
You start to believe it.
00:35:04.690 --> 00:35:07.460 align:middle line:84%
--you believe, and then you
scare yourself, like, am I
00:35:07.460 --> 00:35:08.270 align:middle line:90%
fucking crazy?
00:35:08.270 --> 00:35:10.260 align:middle line:84%
I\'m creating these alternate
realities so I
00:35:10.260 --> 00:35:11.280 align:middle line:90%
can get a blow job.
00:35:11.280 --> 00:35:12.180 align:middle line:90%
Yeah, exactly.
00:35:12.180 --> 00:35:13.380 align:middle line:90%
I don\'t like Tony Bennett.
00:35:13.380 --> 00:35:14.890 align:middle line:90%
Why did I say that?
00:35:14.890 --> 00:35:18.240 align:middle line:84%
Sometimes your hormones just
grab you, and you have this
00:35:18.240 --> 00:35:20.760 align:middle line:84%
throbbing reminder of that\'s
what you want to do and that\'s
00:35:20.760 --> 00:35:22.020 align:middle line:90%
where you want to be.
00:35:22.020 --> 00:35:25.470 align:middle line:84%
And I\'ve actually had
him react, and
00:35:25.470 --> 00:35:27.150 align:middle line:90%
we\'ve totally disagreed.
00:35:27.150 --> 00:35:29.717 align:middle line:84%
Where like some 50-year-old
waitress will bend over and
00:35:29.717 --> 00:35:31.360 align:middle line:84%
I\'ll get a cleavage shot, and
he\'s up at attention.
00:35:31.360 --> 00:35:33.510 align:middle line:84%
I\'m like, you\'re out
of your mind.
00:35:33.510 --> 00:35:34.310 align:middle line:90%
No way.
00:35:34.310 --> 00:35:36.270 align:middle line:90%
Are you serious?
00:35:36.270 --> 00:35:43.190 align:middle line:84%
If I make a choice to cheat
on my girlfriend, it\'s not
00:35:43.190 --> 00:35:45.060 align:middle line:90%
because my dick made me do it.
00:35:45.060 --> 00:35:48.490 align:middle line:84%
It\'s because I processed the
decision and decided.
00:35:48.490 --> 00:35:52.640 align:middle line:84%
And it came to that fork
in the road and said,
00:35:52.640 --> 00:35:54.110 align:middle line:90%
I\'m going to cheat.
00:35:54.110 --> 00:35:57.030 align:middle line:84%
And my dick had nothing
to do with it.
00:35:57.030 --> 00:36:01.630 align:middle line:84%
I might have been aroused, I
might have been excited, but
00:36:01.630 --> 00:36:05.400 align:middle line:84%
ultimately I was the one that
said, I\'m going to cheat.
00:36:05.400 --> 00:36:08.140 align:middle line:84%
Having been female bodied and
having been a feminist and
00:36:08.140 --> 00:36:11.580 align:middle line:84%
listening to all the rhetoric
about men can control
00:36:11.580 --> 00:36:13.270 align:middle line:84%
themselves, and men
can do this.
00:36:13.270 --> 00:36:14.180 align:middle line:90%
Well, you know what?
00:36:14.180 --> 00:36:14.760 align:middle line:90%
No.
00:36:14.760 --> 00:36:18.070 align:middle line:84%
Testosterone is a really
powerful, powerful hormone.
00:36:18.070 --> 00:36:20.010 align:middle line:90%
And it causes certain
00:36:20.010 --> 00:36:23.110 align:middle line:90%
physiological changes in bodies.
00:36:23.110 --> 00:36:25.120 align:middle line:84%
You can\'t control the fact that
you\'ve got a raging hard
00:36:25.120 --> 00:36:27.390 align:middle line:90%
on 24 hours a day.
00:36:27.390 --> 00:36:28.870 align:middle line:90%
That\'s just testosterone.
00:36:28.870 --> 00:36:31.720 align:middle line:84%
If a guy feels like he is
his penis, that\'s OK.
00:36:31.720 --> 00:36:33.850 align:middle line:84%
There\'s nothing wrong
with that.
00:36:33.850 --> 00:36:35.380 align:middle line:90%
That\'s part of what I am--
00:36:35.380 --> 00:36:37.910 align:middle line:90%
is being penis.
00:36:37.910 --> 00:36:40.570 align:middle line:84%
There\'s times that I want to
feel like I\'m all penis.
00:36:40.570 --> 00:36:41.660 align:middle line:90%
And you do that.
00:36:41.660 --> 00:36:43.540 align:middle line:84%
Guys feel like that when
they\'re having sex.
00:36:43.540 --> 00:36:46.000 align:middle line:84%
You feel like all you
feel like is penis.
00:36:46.000 --> 00:36:47.900 align:middle line:84%
So there\'s nothing
wrong with it.
00:36:47.900 --> 00:36:50.210 align:middle line:84%
Those are the good
times, actually.
00:36:50.210 --> 00:36:54.620 align:middle line:84%
When you\'re excited, it just
feels so good, and you just
00:36:54.620 --> 00:36:56.850 align:middle line:84%
feel like that\'s the center of
the universe, and you feel
00:36:56.850 --> 00:36:58.110 align:middle line:90%
like Superman.
00:36:58.110 --> 00:37:02.410 align:middle line:84%
You\'re just like, uh,
do something.
00:37:02.410 --> 00:37:03.740 align:middle line:90%
Stick it somewhere.
00:37:03.740 --> 00:37:08.550 align:middle line:84%
At a certain point, I realized
I could hurt someone with
00:37:08.550 --> 00:37:10.640 align:middle line:90%
myself if I wanted to do that.
00:37:10.640 --> 00:37:13.470 align:middle line:84%
And at that point, I said, look,
either you want to be
00:37:13.470 --> 00:37:17.240 align:middle line:84%
able to sleep with a girl one
time, and then she\'ll never
00:37:17.240 --> 00:37:18.840 align:middle line:84%
sleep with you again, or you\'ll
be able to sleep with
00:37:18.840 --> 00:37:21.676 align:middle line:84%
her several times because you
enjoy it and she enjoys it and
00:37:21.676 --> 00:37:23.000 align:middle line:84%
she\'ll always want
to do you again.
00:37:23.000 --> 00:37:24.720 align:middle line:84%
If you go in there and hurt
somebody, they\'re not going to
00:37:24.720 --> 00:37:26.960 align:middle line:84%
want to see you ever again, and
of course I never want to
00:37:26.960 --> 00:37:29.440 align:middle line:84%
develop my reputation as someone
who hurts people,
00:37:29.440 --> 00:37:31.590 align:middle line:84%
because I can do that,
and I choose not to.
00:37:31.590 --> 00:37:34.290 align:middle line:84%
A lot of people my age weren\'t
raised correctly.
00:37:34.290 --> 00:37:36.310 align:middle line:84%
There weren\'t informed
about sex correctly.
00:37:36.310 --> 00:37:38.240 align:middle line:84%
So they had to go figure
it out themselves.
00:37:38.240 --> 00:37:41.280 align:middle line:84%
And I know a couple of girls who
were in that position and
00:37:41.280 --> 00:37:44.630 align:middle line:84%
that got date raped and it
fucked them up for a while,
00:37:44.630 --> 00:37:46.260 align:middle line:90%
but it happens.
00:37:46.260 --> 00:37:48.910 align:middle line:84%
I, myself, have never forced
myself, but I\'ve manipulated
00:37:48.910 --> 00:37:51.060 align:middle line:90%
the situation.
00:37:51.060 --> 00:37:54.230 align:middle line:84%
My early sexual experiences,
I tried to assert
00:37:54.230 --> 00:37:57.840 align:middle line:90%
myself with the penis.
00:37:57.840 --> 00:37:59.755 align:middle line:84%
I tried to use it
aggressively.
00:37:59.755 --> 00:38:07.970 align:middle line:84%
The only reason I was using my
penis that way was because I
00:38:07.970 --> 00:38:10.120 align:middle line:90%
was insecure about it.
00:38:10.120 --> 00:38:11.880 align:middle line:84%
In a fraternity house,
competition is--
00:38:11.880 --> 00:38:12.815 align:middle line:90%
Competition\'s a bitch.
00:38:12.815 --> 00:38:14.000 align:middle line:90%
It\'s a bitch.
00:38:14.000 --> 00:38:15.090 align:middle line:84%
There\'s a lot of
cock up there.
00:38:15.090 --> 00:38:15.990 align:middle line:90%
A lot of cock.
00:38:15.990 --> 00:38:16.670 align:middle line:90%
There\'s a lot of cock.
00:38:16.670 --> 00:38:17.590 align:middle line:84%
And with a lot of cock,
there\'s a lot of
00:38:17.590 --> 00:38:18.560 align:middle line:90%
cock-blocking.
00:38:18.560 --> 00:38:20.170 align:middle line:84%
When there\'s two girls
up there and there\'s
00:38:20.170 --> 00:38:21.490 align:middle line:90%
18 guys, you know--
00:38:21.490 --> 00:38:22.500 align:middle line:84%
It\'s a lot of men
on a mission.
00:38:22.500 --> 00:38:23.280 align:middle line:90%
A lot of men on a mission.
00:38:23.280 --> 00:38:26.440 align:middle line:84%
And your goal is to
come out on top.
00:38:26.440 --> 00:38:27.690 align:middle line:90%
You just go for the kill.
00:38:27.690 --> 00:38:29.800 align:middle line:84%
She\'s either going to like
it or she ain\'t.
00:38:29.800 --> 00:38:30.710 align:middle line:90%
So it\'s [INAUDIBLE].
00:38:30.710 --> 00:38:32.600 align:middle line:84%
You\'ll never see her again,
so it won\'t matter to you.
00:38:32.600 --> 00:38:33.753 align:middle line:84%
So you\'re never about
satisfying a woman?
00:38:33.753 --> 00:38:34.343 align:middle line:90%
Is that what you\'re saying?
00:38:34.343 --> 00:38:35.590 align:middle line:84%
I\'m always about satisfying
a woman?
00:38:35.590 --> 00:38:37.030 align:middle line:84%
Well, no but you just said it
doesn\'t matter, though.
00:38:37.030 --> 00:38:37.810 align:middle line:90%
It doesn\'t.
00:38:37.810 --> 00:38:39.080 align:middle line:90%
I don\'t believe in romance.
00:38:39.080 --> 00:38:40.060 align:middle line:84%
So it\'s just pound,
every time.
00:38:40.060 --> 00:38:41.870 align:middle line:90%
It\'s all about the pound.
00:38:41.870 --> 00:38:43.100 align:middle line:90%
Grab on the back of the head.
00:38:43.100 --> 00:38:45.150 align:middle line:84%
That\'s the ultimate power trip,
and just directing her
00:38:45.150 --> 00:38:46.980 align:middle line:90%
head the entire time.
00:38:46.980 --> 00:38:50.790 align:middle line:84%
That\'s power, but girls get
pretty annoyed at that, too.
00:38:50.790 --> 00:38:52.360 align:middle line:84%
We\'re at our sexual
peak, baby.
00:38:52.360 --> 00:38:53.120 align:middle line:90%
I say let it go.
00:38:53.120 --> 00:38:55.820 align:middle line:84%
I\'m young, dumb, and
full of cum.
00:38:55.820 --> 00:38:57.612 align:middle line:90%
That\'s my thing.
00:38:57.612 --> 00:38:58.010 align:middle line:90%
Very good.
00:38:58.010 --> 00:39:00.100 align:middle line:90%
I\'ve got a sexual drive, baby.
00:39:00.100 --> 00:39:02.080 align:middle line:84%
I\'ll tell you just like
that, straight up.
00:39:02.080 --> 00:39:04.262 align:middle line:84%
My libido is healthy,
no doubt about that.
00:39:04.262 --> 00:39:05.512 align:middle line:90%
Oh, yeah.
00:39:05.512 --> 00:39:26.530 align:middle line:90%
00:39:26.530 --> 00:39:30.925 align:middle line:90%
I was 18, and I met this girl.
00:39:30.925 --> 00:39:32.810 align:middle line:84%
And the reality, this was the
first girl I was going to be
00:39:32.810 --> 00:39:34.800 align:middle line:84%
with, and I just completely
failed.
00:39:34.800 --> 00:39:37.660 align:middle line:84%
And what made it worse what she
grabbed it like right by
00:39:37.660 --> 00:39:38.640 align:middle line:90%
the base and squeezed it.
00:39:38.640 --> 00:39:39.660 align:middle line:90%
She was a strong girl.
00:39:39.660 --> 00:39:41.220 align:middle line:90%
She wasn\'t a little girl.
00:39:41.220 --> 00:39:41.755 align:middle line:84%
She grabbed it by the
base, and she was
00:39:41.755 --> 00:39:43.350 align:middle line:90%
like, no, it\'s fine.
00:39:43.350 --> 00:39:44.490 align:middle line:84%
I\'m like, well, hell, if you
grab it like that it\'s going
00:39:44.490 --> 00:39:44.890 align:middle line:90%
to be fine.
00:39:44.890 --> 00:39:47.350 align:middle line:84%
Are you going to hold it like
that the whole fucking time?
00:39:47.350 --> 00:39:50.730 align:middle line:84%
And she tried to climb on five
or six times, and I\'m just
00:39:50.730 --> 00:39:52.640 align:middle line:84%
lying there and just
totally degraded,
00:39:52.640 --> 00:39:54.600 align:middle line:90%
like, please just work.
00:39:54.600 --> 00:39:56.250 align:middle line:84%
I\'m looking for anything around
me I could grab to
00:39:56.250 --> 00:39:57.230 align:middle line:90%
maybe fool her with it.
00:39:57.230 --> 00:39:58.580 align:middle line:90%
It was just embarrassing.
00:39:58.580 --> 00:39:59.890 align:middle line:84%
And she did, she told
some people.
00:39:59.890 --> 00:40:01.780 align:middle line:90%
And I dealt with it.
00:40:01.780 --> 00:40:06.450 align:middle line:84%
Any male performer worth his
salt could literally
00:40:06.450 --> 00:40:08.940 align:middle line:84%
masturbate on a New York
subway during rush hour
00:40:08.940 --> 00:40:12.770 align:middle line:84%
without a problem, and deliver
a cum shot on cue.
00:40:12.770 --> 00:40:18.400 align:middle line:84%
If a man has a problem getting
up, so to speak, you\'ve been
00:40:18.400 --> 00:40:20.880 align:middle line:90%
hearing the clock tick.
00:40:20.880 --> 00:40:23.786 align:middle line:84%
I almost mean that on a literal
basis, where you can
00:40:23.786 --> 00:40:26.250 align:middle line:84%
almost begin hearing the
clock tick, tick, tick.
00:40:26.250 --> 00:40:29.155 align:middle line:84%
You begin to hear cameramen in
the background saying, oh,
00:40:29.155 --> 00:40:31.300 align:middle line:90%
man, here we go again.
00:40:31.300 --> 00:40:34.920 align:middle line:84%
Or you can look over and see
people looking at their watch.
00:40:34.920 --> 00:40:36.450 align:middle line:84%
You begin hearing conversations
in the
00:40:36.450 --> 00:40:36.880 align:middle line:90%
background.
00:40:36.880 --> 00:40:38.530 align:middle line:84%
There\'s nothing worse than
hearing a conversation in the
00:40:38.530 --> 00:40:41.790 align:middle line:84%
background, whether it\'s about
what\'s happening on the scene
00:40:41.790 --> 00:40:44.110 align:middle line:84%
or it could be about
last night\'s game.
00:40:44.110 --> 00:40:45.340 align:middle line:90%
But that\'s the worst thing.
00:40:45.340 --> 00:40:53.860 align:middle line:84%
And recovering from difficulty
is hard.
00:40:53.860 --> 00:40:55.560 align:middle line:90%
It\'s very difficult.
00:40:55.560 --> 00:40:56.030 align:middle line:90%
It\'s weird.
00:40:56.030 --> 00:40:56.580 align:middle line:90%
I can\'t explain.
00:40:56.580 --> 00:40:59.620 align:middle line:84%
One day I woke up, and
it wasn\'t the same.
00:40:59.620 --> 00:41:03.770 align:middle line:84%
Usually I would wake up
every day, and I had--
00:41:03.770 --> 00:41:04.420 align:middle line:90%
Morning wood?
00:41:04.420 --> 00:41:05.520 align:middle line:90%
Morning wood.
00:41:05.520 --> 00:41:08.360 align:middle line:84%
I lost my sexual drive
a while back, so.
00:41:08.360 --> 00:41:09.690 align:middle line:90%
That\'s all I think about.
00:41:09.690 --> 00:41:13.230 align:middle line:84%
I would just feel so incomplete
and inadequate.
00:41:13.230 --> 00:41:15.150 align:middle line:84%
I just wouldn\'t feel
like a man.
00:41:15.150 --> 00:41:16.230 align:middle line:90%
I have a routine now.
00:41:16.230 --> 00:41:18.150 align:middle line:84%
I can actually get up at 7:00
o\'clock in the morning and go
00:41:18.150 --> 00:41:20.330 align:middle line:84%
jogging, since I\'ve
lost the libido.
00:41:20.330 --> 00:41:20.930 align:middle line:90%
God bless you.
00:41:20.930 --> 00:41:23.540 align:middle line:84%
And I study, and I
actually take in
00:41:23.540 --> 00:41:24.230 align:middle line:90%
stuff that I\'m reading.
00:41:24.230 --> 00:41:28.170 align:middle line:84%
Usually, for the past three
years of college, I would read
00:41:28.170 --> 00:41:32.060 align:middle line:84%
stuff and then I\'d start
thinking about sex right away.
00:41:32.060 --> 00:41:34.380 align:middle line:84%
It doesn\'t matter what the
book\'s about or anything.
00:41:34.380 --> 00:41:36.850 align:middle line:84%
It would be translated
into sex.
00:41:36.850 --> 00:41:40.950 align:middle line:84%
But now I can actually take
stuff in, and it\'s different.
00:41:40.950 --> 00:41:41.790 align:middle line:90%
Good for you, man.
00:41:41.790 --> 00:41:44.460 align:middle line:84%
Good for me, but nobody would
want to trade places in a
00:41:44.460 --> 00:41:45.146 align:middle line:90%
million years.
00:41:45.146 --> 00:41:45.490 align:middle line:90%
Absolutely not.
00:41:45.490 --> 00:41:46.535 align:middle line:90%
Not at all.
00:41:46.535 --> 00:41:48.560 align:middle line:84%
Do you believe I should feel
less than a man right now?
00:41:48.560 --> 00:41:48.970 align:middle line:90%
You should.
00:41:48.970 --> 00:41:51.180 align:middle line:84%
I believe you need psychiatric
help, yes.
00:41:51.180 --> 00:41:57.280 align:middle line:84%
As I went on to college and
that sort of thing, it was
00:41:57.280 --> 00:41:59.710 align:middle line:84%
just a situation that
you couldn\'t
00:41:59.710 --> 00:42:00.870 align:middle line:90%
depend on the erection.
00:42:00.870 --> 00:42:05.960 align:middle line:84%
It was not dependable in any
instance, no matter how
00:42:05.960 --> 00:42:08.940 align:middle line:84%
excited I was or
involved I was.
00:42:08.940 --> 00:42:13.690 align:middle line:84%
And I think I\'ve always been
fully engaged and whatever the
00:42:13.690 --> 00:42:16.660 align:middle line:90%
relationship was.
00:42:16.660 --> 00:42:22.370 align:middle line:84%
But it\'s starting to
eat away at just
00:42:22.370 --> 00:42:26.186 align:middle line:90%
other day-to-day functions.
00:42:26.186 --> 00:42:28.110 align:middle line:90%
If that wasn\'t functioning--
00:42:28.110 --> 00:42:31.370 align:middle line:84%
I mean, every dog on the
street has an erection.
00:42:31.370 --> 00:42:38.530 align:middle line:84%
If that wasn\'t functioning,
what could I depend on?
00:42:38.530 --> 00:42:42.410 align:middle line:84%
And I started to doubt my
ability as an artist, I
00:42:42.410 --> 00:42:45.090 align:middle line:84%
started to just doubt
everything.
00:42:45.090 --> 00:42:49.740 align:middle line:84%
By really starting to talk
about the impotence,
00:42:49.740 --> 00:42:54.890 align:middle line:84%
specifically, it seemed
to diffuse it.
00:42:54.890 --> 00:42:59.160 align:middle line:84%
If other people know that the
problem is out there, maybe
00:42:59.160 --> 00:43:02.790 align:middle line:84%
they\'ll be able to talk about
it and lighten up about it.
00:43:02.790 --> 00:43:07.060 align:middle line:84%
I didn\'t really know how to get
the most out of my body.
00:43:07.060 --> 00:43:09.620 align:middle line:84%
Yes, I knew I could get a hard
on, but I didn\'t know what to
00:43:09.620 --> 00:43:11.170 align:middle line:90%
do with it.
00:43:11.170 --> 00:43:13.080 align:middle line:84%
I didn\'t know if
it would last.
00:43:13.080 --> 00:43:16.270 align:middle line:90%
I was a little bit--
00:43:16.270 --> 00:43:18.660 align:middle line:90%
I was ill-confident about it.
00:43:18.660 --> 00:43:24.370 align:middle line:84%
And eventually I met someone on
business who really made me
00:43:24.370 --> 00:43:29.000 align:middle line:84%
very aware of my sexuality
and literally thought,
00:43:29.000 --> 00:43:30.844 align:middle line:90%
hey, I was a stud.
00:43:30.844 --> 00:43:31.708 align:middle line:90%
Wow.
00:43:31.708 --> 00:43:32.640 align:middle line:90%
A stud in a wheelchair.
00:43:32.640 --> 00:43:32.900 align:middle line:90%
I\'ll take it.
00:43:32.900 --> 00:43:34.520 align:middle line:90%
What the hell?
00:43:34.520 --> 00:43:35.720 align:middle line:90%
There\'s got to be one.
00:43:35.720 --> 00:43:38.420 align:middle line:84%
When you perform with your
penis, you might be the
00:43:38.420 --> 00:43:39.510 align:middle line:90%
greatest in the world.
00:43:39.510 --> 00:43:41.900 align:middle line:90%
And you\'re going to be limited,
00:43:41.900 --> 00:43:43.030 align:middle line:90%
like the ballet dancer.
00:43:43.030 --> 00:43:47.080 align:middle line:84%
She can only stand on her toes
for maybe 10, 12, 15 years,
00:43:47.080 --> 00:43:50.230 align:middle line:84%
and then it hurts so much she
just can\'t stay up there.
00:43:50.230 --> 00:43:52.250 align:middle line:90%
And the same with the guys.
00:43:52.250 --> 00:43:56.570 align:middle line:84%
You\'re going to slow down, and
you\'re going to need an aid,
00:43:56.570 --> 00:44:00.630 align:middle line:84%
hopefully like Viagra, which is
a miracle performance drug
00:44:00.630 --> 00:44:02.460 align:middle line:84%
that I have found
very successful.
00:44:02.460 --> 00:44:07.160 align:middle line:84%
You adjust to it, and
you make it quality.
00:44:07.160 --> 00:44:12.652 align:middle line:84%
I developed what I discovered
was called Peyronie\'s disease,
00:44:12.652 --> 00:44:17.170 align:middle line:84%
a bending of the penis, that
made sex difficult.
00:44:17.170 --> 00:44:19.430 align:middle line:84%
And in order to correct it, you
either have an operation
00:44:19.430 --> 00:44:24.230 align:middle line:84%
to remove that scar
tissue, or to use
00:44:24.230 --> 00:44:28.780 align:middle line:90%
injections or a penal implant.
00:44:28.780 --> 00:44:32.560 align:middle line:84%
It\'s inserted into the
penis on both sides.
00:44:32.560 --> 00:44:34.900 align:middle line:90%
The pump is in the testicles.
00:44:34.900 --> 00:44:37.790 align:middle line:84%
And when you are planning to
engage in sexual intercourse,
00:44:37.790 --> 00:44:39.780 align:middle line:90%
you pump it up.
00:44:39.780 --> 00:44:43.610 align:middle line:84%
So these become relatively
rigid without
00:44:43.610 --> 00:44:44.800 align:middle line:90%
feeling like concrete.
00:44:44.800 --> 00:44:46.050 align:middle line:90%
It\'s very simple--
00:44:46.050 --> 00:44:49.120 align:middle line:90%
00:44:49.120 --> 00:44:51.330 align:middle line:90%
delightful, if you will--
00:44:51.330 --> 00:44:52.580 align:middle line:90%
contraption.
00:44:52.580 --> 00:45:30.080 align:middle line:90%
00:45:30.080 --> 00:45:32.050 align:middle line:84%
At this age, I sort of
pray for infertility.
00:45:32.050 --> 00:45:36.550 align:middle line:84%
Because I\'m not with anyone in
a sense that I\'d want to have
00:45:36.550 --> 00:45:37.970 align:middle line:90%
a child with them.
00:45:37.970 --> 00:45:38.680 align:middle line:90%
But you wonder.
00:45:38.680 --> 00:45:41.330 align:middle line:84%
I mean, I\'ve had some close
calls, some scares.
00:45:41.330 --> 00:45:44.190 align:middle line:84%
And I guess I think some and
look at fertility as a
00:45:44.190 --> 00:45:46.600 align:middle line:84%
virility issue, and right now
it\'s just like a loaded gun
00:45:46.600 --> 00:45:48.210 align:middle line:90%
issue with me.
00:45:48.210 --> 00:45:49.450 align:middle line:84%
If I\'m not fertile right
now, I can get
00:45:49.450 --> 00:45:50.270 align:middle line:90%
fertile in a couple years.
00:45:50.270 --> 00:45:51.020 align:middle line:90%
That\'s great.
00:45:51.020 --> 00:45:53.000 align:middle line:90%
If I\'m shooting blanks, fine.
00:45:53.000 --> 00:45:55.630 align:middle line:84%
Because I\'m only using it for
target practice, anyway.
00:45:55.630 --> 00:46:00.210 align:middle line:84%
I did have a childlike
fascination with it, like, can
00:46:00.210 --> 00:46:02.230 align:middle line:84%
I really make somebody
pregnant?
00:46:02.230 --> 00:46:05.520 align:middle line:84%
So I think I took it as a joke
for a long time, until it
00:46:05.520 --> 00:46:07.460 align:middle line:84%
happened recently, and then
it wasn\'t a joke.
00:46:07.460 --> 00:46:12.090 align:middle line:84%
It was like, fuck, this
really works.
00:46:12.090 --> 00:46:15.510 align:middle line:84%
Because I wondered if
I was even fertile.
00:46:15.510 --> 00:46:18.085 align:middle line:84%
When you have like this
nurturing of a life that comes
00:46:18.085 --> 00:46:23.410 align:middle line:84%
from yourself and from an act
of lust, it\'s a lot of mixed
00:46:23.410 --> 00:46:24.040 align:middle line:90%
feelings there.
00:46:24.040 --> 00:46:27.330 align:middle line:84%
Because all of a sudden you\'re
a father instead of just a
00:46:27.330 --> 00:46:32.560 align:middle line:84%
lover, and your whole life
kind of gets transformed.
00:46:32.560 --> 00:46:34.470 align:middle line:90%
I think a lot more seriously.
00:46:34.470 --> 00:46:37.930 align:middle line:84%
I wasn\'t a kid anymore enjoying
the college life.
00:46:37.930 --> 00:46:39.630 align:middle line:84%
I ended up like getting
out of college.
00:46:39.630 --> 00:46:41.550 align:middle line:84%
I ended up having to
work full time.
00:46:41.550 --> 00:46:42.960 align:middle line:90%
And I really struggled.
00:46:42.960 --> 00:46:47.160 align:middle line:84%
And I guess that\'s kind of what
part of having a penis
00:46:47.160 --> 00:46:50.010 align:middle line:84%
is, because I think that\'s
what\'s expected of men.
00:46:50.010 --> 00:46:51.760 align:middle line:90%
I cannot make babies.
00:46:51.760 --> 00:46:56.080 align:middle line:84%
I can make happy, but
I can\'t make babies.
00:46:56.080 --> 00:46:59.310 align:middle line:84%
There was a time when that
meant something.
00:46:59.310 --> 00:47:01.790 align:middle line:84%
There was a time when
I felt less than
00:47:01.790 --> 00:47:05.780 align:middle line:90%
full, less than normal--
00:47:05.780 --> 00:47:08.560 align:middle line:84%
I hate to use the term, but
normal, whatever that is.
00:47:08.560 --> 00:47:09.380 align:middle line:90%
Being infertile?
00:47:09.380 --> 00:47:09.750 align:middle line:90%
I don\'t know.
00:47:09.750 --> 00:47:12.290 align:middle line:90%
That\'s just like, man.
00:47:12.290 --> 00:47:13.410 align:middle line:90%
I don\'t even have a gun.
00:47:13.410 --> 00:47:14.420 align:middle line:90%
I have like a water pistol.
00:47:14.420 --> 00:47:16.075 align:middle line:90%
It\'s like shooting blanks.
00:47:16.075 --> 00:47:18.910 align:middle line:90%
00:47:18.910 --> 00:47:23.780 align:middle line:84%
I think that would affect
me more than--
00:47:23.780 --> 00:47:24.670 align:middle line:90%
Size.
00:47:24.670 --> 00:47:26.940 align:middle line:90%
Than size, actually.
00:47:26.940 --> 00:47:29.470 align:middle line:84%
For me, when I got my vasectomy,
it actually was
00:47:29.470 --> 00:47:32.550 align:middle line:84%
pretty liberating as far as
knowing that that could happen
00:47:32.550 --> 00:47:35.540 align:middle line:84%
again, that I couldn\'t lose
control of my life.
00:47:35.540 --> 00:47:38.720 align:middle line:90%
So in a way, been fertile--
00:47:38.720 --> 00:47:40.700 align:middle line:84%
in one sense, you want to be
virile to be able to give
00:47:40.700 --> 00:47:45.410 align:middle line:84%
pleasure to a woman, but you
also want to be responsible
00:47:45.410 --> 00:47:50.500 align:middle line:84%
and have control of your
life and not lose
00:47:50.500 --> 00:47:51.880 align:middle line:90%
control again like that.
00:47:51.880 --> 00:48:09.250 align:middle line:90%
00:48:09.250 --> 00:48:12.190 align:middle line:84%
I had an enlarged prostate,
a common
00:48:12.190 --> 00:48:14.220 align:middle line:90%
occurrence for older guys.
00:48:14.220 --> 00:48:18.750 align:middle line:84%
And it prevented my urination
normally.
00:48:18.750 --> 00:48:21.490 align:middle line:84%
You might have to come back
again 30 minutes later.
00:48:21.490 --> 00:48:24.620 align:middle line:84%
And if you go somewhere to a
movie or go shopping on the
00:48:24.620 --> 00:48:27.730 align:middle line:84%
street, you\'ve got to plan ahead
where is there a toilet
00:48:27.730 --> 00:48:29.760 align:middle line:90%
in 30 minutes?
00:48:29.760 --> 00:48:32.320 align:middle line:84%
And so I was living
for my bladder
00:48:32.320 --> 00:48:35.110 align:middle line:90%
to control my itinerary.
00:48:35.110 --> 00:48:37.440 align:middle line:84%
They surgery and so forth,
there\'s a long
00:48:37.440 --> 00:48:40.890 align:middle line:90%
period of full recovery.
00:48:40.890 --> 00:48:47.370 align:middle line:84%
And I guess it\'s about a
physical decline as a
00:48:47.370 --> 00:48:49.290 align:middle line:90%
psychological decline.
00:48:49.290 --> 00:48:50.800 align:middle line:90%
Self-doubt sets in.
00:48:50.800 --> 00:48:53.450 align:middle line:84%
Can I go through with
this thing?
00:48:53.450 --> 00:48:57.100 align:middle line:84%
And that reduces a lot of
your sexual function.
00:48:57.100 --> 00:49:01.420 align:middle line:84%
And you no longer have
ejaculation semen, and your
00:49:01.420 --> 00:49:06.500 align:middle line:84%
days as a parent, as a father of
new children, is diminished
00:49:06.500 --> 00:49:07.800 align:middle line:90%
or killed altogether.
00:49:07.800 --> 00:49:11.035 align:middle line:84%
It was April 10, about four
months ago, that I was
00:49:11.035 --> 00:49:13.780 align:middle line:84%
unofficially diagnosed with
testicular cancer.
00:49:13.780 --> 00:49:16.530 align:middle line:84%
And from there, it was sort of
a crash course of events.
00:49:16.530 --> 00:49:20.730 align:middle line:84%
Four days later, I had my right
testicle removed, and
00:49:20.730 --> 00:49:24.760 align:middle line:84%
then 10 days after that, I had
a second surgery to remove
00:49:24.760 --> 00:49:27.620 align:middle line:84%
lymph nodes from my abdomen
to stage the cancer.
00:49:27.620 --> 00:49:31.450 align:middle line:84%
And it had indeed spread, and
it was considered stage one.
00:49:31.450 --> 00:49:35.350 align:middle line:84%
Testicular cancer is the most
prevalent cancer for men
00:49:35.350 --> 00:49:38.840 align:middle line:84%
between the ages of 18 and 44,
which I don\'t think a lot of
00:49:38.840 --> 00:49:41.850 align:middle line:84%
people really understand
or realize.
00:49:41.850 --> 00:49:44.050 align:middle line:84%
It\'s also the most
curable cancer.
00:49:44.050 --> 00:49:46.710 align:middle line:84%
I think that because of the fact
that my family was very
00:49:46.710 --> 00:49:52.670 align:middle line:84%
open about issues of sexuality
and sex and our bodies that I
00:49:52.670 --> 00:49:55.980 align:middle line:84%
was in a position where
I was able to detect a
00:49:55.980 --> 00:49:58.580 align:middle line:90%
change in my testicle.
00:49:58.580 --> 00:50:03.070 align:middle line:84%
Ultimately that type of openness
at the family level
00:50:03.070 --> 00:50:04.620 align:middle line:90%
pretty much saved my life.
00:50:04.620 --> 00:50:28.230 align:middle line:90%
00:50:28.230 --> 00:50:33.850 align:middle line:84%
The first time that I made a
woman cum, I remember that\'s
00:50:33.850 --> 00:50:40.100 align:middle line:84%
just an incredible feeling,
because I think is no greater
00:50:40.100 --> 00:50:46.150 align:middle line:84%
validation or gratification
than that experience.
00:50:46.150 --> 00:50:50.830 align:middle line:84%
Because I remember earlier on
in my sexual experiences, it
00:50:50.830 --> 00:50:53.350 align:middle line:84%
was very much about
my own pleasure.
00:50:53.350 --> 00:50:57.620 align:middle line:84%
What I learned about sex
came from pictures in
00:50:57.620 --> 00:51:00.980 align:middle line:90%
magazines and porno.
00:51:00.980 --> 00:51:06.090 align:middle line:84%
And I have a certain tape in my
head that says this is what
00:51:06.090 --> 00:51:07.720 align:middle line:90%
sex is about.
00:51:07.720 --> 00:51:10.910 align:middle line:84%
And it\'s not what
sex is about.
00:51:10.910 --> 00:51:13.060 align:middle line:84%
You know what feels good when
I\'m able to make love to my
00:51:13.060 --> 00:51:15.470 align:middle line:90%
girlfriend now?
00:51:15.470 --> 00:51:21.090 align:middle line:84%
It feels really nice to just
fuck or have sex and then not
00:51:21.090 --> 00:51:25.490 align:middle line:84%
get up out of the bed and run
away or turn over and go,
00:51:25.490 --> 00:51:27.840 align:middle line:90%
shit, could you just leave?
00:51:27.840 --> 00:51:32.580 align:middle line:84%
I\'m getting older, so I feel
like maybe it\'s time to start
00:51:32.580 --> 00:51:34.140 align:middle line:90%
growing up a little bit.
00:51:34.140 --> 00:51:38.130 align:middle line:84%
And for me, growing up has been
becoming intimate in a
00:51:38.130 --> 00:51:39.080 align:middle line:90%
different way--
00:51:39.080 --> 00:51:41.320 align:middle line:84%
not necessarily just
with my dick
00:51:41.320 --> 00:51:46.160 align:middle line:84%
I remember what it felt like
before my accident, and it is
00:51:46.160 --> 00:51:47.040 align:middle line:90%
all encompassing.
00:51:47.040 --> 00:51:51.690 align:middle line:84%
It is a delicious bodily
sensation.
00:51:51.690 --> 00:51:57.570 align:middle line:84%
Now, ever since my accident,
it\'s much more ethereal.
00:51:57.570 --> 00:52:08.210 align:middle line:84%
It\'s more of a full integrated
experience of having been part
00:52:08.210 --> 00:52:12.220 align:middle line:84%
of something very exciting,
something very emotional,
00:52:12.220 --> 00:52:13.960 align:middle line:90%
something very physical.
00:52:13.960 --> 00:52:19.300 align:middle line:84%
And being part of it willingly
and being accepted willingly.
00:52:19.300 --> 00:52:23.280 align:middle line:84%
The absence of heterosexual
love, which includes a number
00:52:23.280 --> 00:52:27.990 align:middle line:84%
of things, including sexual
intercourse, I feel like I\'ve
00:52:27.990 --> 00:52:29.500 align:middle line:90%
lost one of my arms.
00:52:29.500 --> 00:52:32.755 align:middle line:90%
00:52:32.755 --> 00:52:34.560 align:middle line:84%
It\'s very, very important
to me.
00:52:34.560 --> 00:52:39.600 align:middle line:90%
00:52:39.600 --> 00:52:43.260 align:middle line:84%
The thought of spending the
rest of my life without
00:52:43.260 --> 00:52:47.940 align:middle line:90%
someone I love is unthinkable.
00:52:47.940 --> 00:52:50.760 align:middle line:84%
You don\'t have to give up when
you\'re 40, and you don\'t have
00:52:50.760 --> 00:52:52.130 align:middle line:90%
to give up when you\'re 50.
00:52:52.130 --> 00:52:55.460 align:middle line:84%
That\'s my whole ambition in
life, is to let other people
00:52:55.460 --> 00:52:57.070 align:middle line:84%
know you don\'t have to
give up just because
00:52:57.070 --> 00:52:58.270 align:middle line:90%
you\'re a certain age--
00:52:58.270 --> 00:52:59.520 align:middle line:90%
and you don\'t.
00:52:59.520 --> 00:53:01.710 align:middle line:90%
00:53:01.710 --> 00:53:05.700 align:middle line:90%
I\'m not giving up, dammit.
00:53:05.700 --> 00:53:07.880 align:middle line:84%
Your penis is the only thing you
have your whole life that
00:53:07.880 --> 00:53:09.370 align:middle line:90%
will stick with you--
00:53:09.370 --> 00:53:11.735 align:middle line:84%
the only guy who always kind
of looks up to you, if you
00:53:11.735 --> 00:53:13.370 align:middle line:90%
know what I mean.
00:53:13.370 --> 00:53:17.580 align:middle line:84%
And beyond the sexual
ramifications of not having a
00:53:17.580 --> 00:53:20.770 align:middle line:84%
penis or not having a
functioning penis, I just
00:53:20.770 --> 00:53:23.450 align:middle line:90%
can\'t imagine not feeling the
00:53:23.450 --> 00:53:26.660 align:middle line:90%
stimulation, just the happiness.
00:53:26.660 --> 00:53:29.470 align:middle line:84%
I talked to some older guys
who are perfectly serene.
00:53:29.470 --> 00:53:33.800 align:middle line:84%
They say that the tyranny
of the hunt is gone.
00:53:33.800 --> 00:53:36.656 align:middle line:84%
Man, I\'m very placid
and at peace.
00:53:36.656 --> 00:53:39.910 align:middle line:84%
I enjoy the birds
and the trees.
00:53:39.910 --> 00:53:41.260 align:middle line:90%
Good luck to them.
00:53:41.260 --> 00:53:43.570 align:middle line:84%
Maybe I\'ll be out in Central
Park admiring the birds and
00:53:43.570 --> 00:53:45.010 align:middle line:90%
the trees before long.
00:53:45.010 --> 00:53:59.310 align:middle line:90%
00:53:59.310 --> 00:54:04.050 align:middle line:84%
When having sex, I think the
penis is the punctuation.
00:54:04.050 --> 00:54:06.726 align:middle line:90%
It\'s the exclamation point.
00:54:06.726 --> 00:54:10.110 align:middle line:90%
It\'s the last hurrah.
00:54:10.110 --> 00:54:12.290 align:middle line:90%
It\'s the victory flag.
00:54:12.290 --> 00:54:13.175 align:middle line:90%
It\'s Iwo Jima.
00:54:13.175 --> 00:54:17.300 align:middle line:84%
We\'re raising the flag because
we won the island.
00:54:17.300 --> 00:54:20.770 align:middle line:84%
Rockets go off, Roman candles,
Stars and Stripes is in the
00:54:20.770 --> 00:54:22.500 align:middle line:90%
background.
00:54:22.500 --> 00:54:24.040 align:middle line:84%
That\'s what the penis
is all about.
00:54:24.040 --> 00:54:28.120 align:middle line:84%
But prior to that, you work your
way up the hill, you dig
00:54:28.120 --> 00:54:29.330 align:middle line:90%
in a little bit.
00:54:29.330 --> 00:54:33.610 align:middle line:84%
You stop, you breathe, you
practice, you play, you flirt,
00:54:33.610 --> 00:54:36.990 align:middle line:84%
you retreat, and then you
go forward, you tease.
00:54:36.990 --> 00:54:39.740 align:middle line:84%
Your partner has no idea when
that big moment\'s going to
00:54:39.740 --> 00:54:43.140 align:middle line:84%
happen, when that projectile is
going to get in there as a
00:54:43.140 --> 00:54:46.190 align:middle line:84%
breach loader and is going to
be fired and she is going to
00:54:46.190 --> 00:54:49.360 align:middle line:84%
see the Roman candles and hear
the Stars and Stripes and
00:54:49.360 --> 00:54:52.330 align:middle line:90%
scream orgasically.
00:54:52.330 --> 00:54:56.250 align:middle line:84%
Every muscle in her body, every
vein, every blood vessel
00:54:56.250 --> 00:55:00.310 align:middle line:84%
it\'s erupting with the most
intense pleasure of her life.
00:55:00.310 --> 00:55:02.070 align:middle line:84%
And she\'ll love you for it, and
she\'s never going to stop
00:55:02.070 --> 00:55:04.520 align:middle line:84%
to say, by the way, are
you a two or an eight?
00:55:04.520 --> 00:55:07.420 align:middle line:90%
00:55:07.420 --> 00:56:36.220 align:middle line:90%
00:56:36.220 --> 00:56:46.089 align:middle line:90%
Distributor: Icarus Films
Length: 55 minutes
Date: 1999
Genre: Expository
Language: English
Grade: College, Adult
Color/BW:
Closed Captioning: Available
Interactive Transcript: Available
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