The Dhamma Brothers

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Behind the high security towers and double row of barbed wire and electrical fence at Donaldson Correction Facility dwells a host of convicts who will never see the light of day. But for some of these men, a spark is ignited when it becomes the first maximum-security prison in North America to hold an extended Vipassana retreat, an emotionally and physically demanding course of silent meditation lasting ten days.

The Dhamma Brothers tells a dramatic tale of human potential and transformation as it closely follows and documents the stories of the prison inmates who enter into this arduous and intensive program. This film, with the power to dismantle stereotypes about men behind prison bars also, in the words of Sister Helen Prejean (Dead Man Walking), 'gives you hope for the human race.'

'The Dhamma Brothers is one of the most sensitive expressions of hope, capacity for change, and potential vehicles for institutional health that I have seen in my career in criminal justice. Inmates serving long sentences in one of the country's toughest state prisons experience the liberating effects of the Vipassana meditation program. The filmmakers provide a dramatic example of a safe and healthy correctional environment, not only for the inmates but also for the correction officers and all the people who must work within these institutions. The Dhamma Brothers points to an effective reentry program for even the most serious offenders in our society. Through the film we realize that inmates can accept responsibility for serious crimes, and attempt to engage in personal change even though it will not enable them to be released.' Scott Harshbarger, former Attorney General of Massachusetts and senior counsel, Proskauer Rose LLP

'The stories of the Dhamma Brothers ring with the truth and power of their experiences, and offer the hope for renewal and rehabilitation within a dismal and punishment-oriented correctional system. It gives you hope for the human race.' Sister Helen Prejean, author, Dead Man Walking and recipient, 1996 Pax Christi Pope Paul VI Teacher of Peace Award

'This is an absolutely compelling story of an astonishing treatment program with prison inmates that, against all odds, actually worked. The leaders of the program and the correctional officials open a door to the hearts and minds of a violent prison population, allowing us to see them at intimate range, while at the same time producing a remarkably positive influence on the atmosphere of the prison as a whole.' Doris Kearns Goodwin, author, No Ordinary Time and Team of Rivals: The Political Genius of Abraham Lincoln

'An inspiring event of personal transformation through meditation in inmates at a maximum security prison. It will inspire everyone by the compelling story of personal growth in the harshest of conditions.' Richard Davidson, Director, Wisconsin Center for Affective Science, and Center for Mind-Body Interaction, University of Wisconsin

'In the Civil Rights Movement, we used the wisdom of India and Mohandas Gandhi, to create a discipline and philosophy of non-violence that would meet the needs of the American landscape. The Dhamma Brothers have taken their own passage to India and discovered a practice of meditation that guides them down their inner path toward freedom. Those of us who accept the philosophy of non-violence believe there is a spark of divinity within all of us. This film makes it plain that no human being - no matter how troubled his beginning, regardless of his race, color, nationality, or creed - should be considered beyond the reach of redemption. No one should be tossed away in a jail cell and forgotten as though their lives mean nothing. This film demonstrates that all some people need - even those we might consider the worst among us - is to be led toward their path to recovery, and when they are restored, their contribution to our society and the world is limitless.' Representative John Lewis, Georgia Congressman

'I found the film very interesting, in no small part because we hear from inmates at Donaldson all the time and know what a troubled facility it is...The message of the film with regard to the value of the mediation program to the individual inmates as well as the prison is a very important one and was communicated very well. The interviews with the inmates were excellent and certainly brought home Bryan Stevenson's message that a person is much more than the worst thing they ever did. The two leaders of the mediation program were very articulate in describing it and obviously very committed to Vipassana and to the prisoners. It was valuable to see the skepticism regarding to the program of the warden and corrections officers and their later reactions to it...I am very grateful for the opportunity to see the film.' Stephen Bright, President, Southern Center for Human Rights, J. Skelly Wright Fellow, Yale Law School

'The Dhamma Brothers poignantly demonstrates the resiliency of the prisoners who participated in a 10-day silent retreat in the prison's gym. It expertly interweaves the stories of a few prisoners in a way that helps us understand the causes and conditions of crime and punishment. We are fortunate to witness the deep desire for healing and change that brings the men to their first Vipassana orientation. The documentary does a great deal to un-do the demonization of men in prison that runs so deeply in popular culture. It reintroduces the notion of rehabilitation in an era of retribution and retaliation. As participants move through their introduction to Vipassana and later work to maintain their practice in the face of prison administrators' ban, we see the struggle of all humans to live a life consistent with our values and to move deeper in our understanding of ourselves.' Ed Mead, Founder of Prison Art Project, Organizer of Men Against Sexism at Walla Walla, Co-founder of Prison Legal News, Co-editor of Prison Focus Magazine

'Prisoners sitting together, meditating? For years stories have circulated about prisons in India that were transformed through the use of Vipassana meditative disciplines. Now, in this documentary, you can see how it was implemented here in the US in, of all places, an Alabama prison, resulting in lives that indeed seem changed. This documentary provides a service by introducing this approach to an American audience. It also helps to challenge popular assumptions about prisoners and their ability to change [and] may also help to counter the punitive approach to justice that is prevalent in American attitudes.' Howard Zehr, Professor, Sociology and Restorative Justice, Co-director, Center for Justice and Peacebuilding, Eastern Mennonite University, 2006 Community of Christ International Peace Award recipient

'The idea that 'nothing works' to rehabilitate prisoners is widespread, even though the researcher who penned that phrase later retracted it and ample research shows that a wide variety of programs produce positive results when properly matched with inmates' needs. The Dhamma Brothers provides an excellent example. The focus is rightly on the inmates - the childhoods, crimes and reflections - but the prison officials provide important context by discussing the problems of prison as warehouse. Ultimately, The Dhamma Brothers should not be seen as a documentary of a curious and unique event; it should be seen as a proof of concept and incitement for every state that sees itself at least as progressive and innovative as Alabama.' Dr. Paul Leighton, Professor of Criminology, Eastern Michigan University, www.StopViolence.com

'[The Dhamma Brother's] eloquent testimony of newly discovered self-acceptance and awareness is a powerful argument for the transformative nature of meditation.' Library Journal

'Recommended for public or academic libraries collection materials about Buddhist meditation, corrections, and criminal rehabilitation.' Jessica Schomberg, Minnesota State University, Educational Media Reviews Online

'The word for `Enlightenment' in the Asian traditions is `mukti' or `moksha' which means freedom or liberation. If you thought taking a meditation technique that aims at such an enlightenment to prisoners in jails was a bit too literal, you would be wrong. For, the film The Dhamma Brothers captures brave attempts by the prisoners that even the unimprisoned would find difficult to carry out...Useful for students in psychology, sociology, law, cognitive science, Eastern philosophy and related disciplines.' Sushumna Kannan, Centre for the Study of Culture and Society, Bangalore, India, Anthropology Review Online

'The Dhamma Brothers is not just the story of a prison program, but also the human ability to accept responsibility for the most terrible of offenses. Ultimately an inspirational chronicle of hope, The Dhamma Brothers is highly recommended as an example of how meditative discipline can harness the positive side of the human spirit even in the most unlikely of places.' The Midwest Book Review

'An inspiring film about the potential for change in even the most seemingly incorrigible of human beings, this is highly recommended.' Video Librarian

'Like all compelling documentaries, The Dhamma Brothers is both informative and personally arresting...Intentionally or not, [the film] offers a profound meditation on hope and how it might, or might not, be fostered...This documentary would enhance any number of feminist courses in areas such as sociology, religion, race and racism, American studies, and the justice system. It is highly recommended.' Krista Hughes, Thirdspace: A Journal of Feminist Theory and Culture

'This provocative film...candidly documents the mixed emotions and institutional conflicts aroused by the introduction of a Buddhist practice in a predominantly Christian prison.' Jeanette Catsoulis, New York Times

'It takes you on a thrilling and hopeful voyage through a very dark place.' Andrew O'Hehir, Salon.com

'Who would ever believe this Alabama hellhole would one day foster one of the most progressive rehabilitation programs in the world? Strange, but true...It's a powerful journey...A truly inspirational piece of documentary filmmaking.' Ken Fox, TV Guide's Movie Guide

'Real-life Shawshank Redemption.' Ronnie Scheib, Variety

'An inspiring documentary.' V.A. Musetteo, New York Post

'A provocative portrait of innovative thinking in a penal system badly in need of reform.' Frank Schneck, The Hollywood Reporter

'Unusually effective at finding the humanity inside men usually reviled as monsters.' Joshua Land, Time Out New York

'Intriguing...Fierce irony and dark hope...Powerful honesty and clarity.' Gary Goldstein, Los Angeles Times

'Mind-boggling' Ruthe Stein, San Francisco Chronicle

'We need a range of approaches to reach individuals, and this may be one of them.' The Sentencing Project

'A wonderful, powerful film. A rare inspiration to all of us.' Richard Gere

'A convincing documentary that proves the cathartic value of meditation in the lives of these prison inmates who share their experiences of inner peace and growing compassion.' Spirituality and Practice

'...Ably demonstrates the transformative efficacy of meditation on even the most unlikely candidates. The results are pretty miraculous.' GreenCine

'Seek this film out. I went through various emotional changes while watching this, but it all began and ended with happiness. Dhamma Brothers give the viewer faith in humanity, that we all really do have Buddha-nature, regardless of the mistakes we have made...I congratulate the teachers and the filmmakers for taking on such a significant task, you are all truly inspiring, please keep up the great work.' Nate DeMontigny, Precious Metal blog

Citation

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Main credits

Phillips, Jenny (film director)
Phillips, Jenny (film producer)
Kukura, Andrew (film director)
Kukura, Andrew (film editor)
Stein, Anne Marie (film director)
Stein, Anne Marie (film producer)
Broderick, Peter (film producer)

Other credits

Editor, Andrew Kukura; principal cinematographers, Jeremy Leach, Wah Ho Chan; music, Zachary Micheletti.

MARC Record See Worldcat record

Keywords

maximum security prison, Donaldson Correctional Facility, Vipassana, meditation, human potential, transformation, criminal justice, rehabilitation, Bryan Stevenson; "The Dhamma Brothers"; Bullfrog Films,doc; religion; sociss

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We work in the highest level
prison in the state of Alabama.

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We house all types.

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From six months all the
way up to death row,

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we have them all here.

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The violence here,
I don\'t really

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know how to explain
it, other than,

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this is a breeding ground.

00:00:53.330 --> 00:00:56.560 align:middle line:90%

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Donaldson\'s a pretty
dangerous place.

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The chance of somebody
being stabbed or killed

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is pretty much a common
occurrence, as it were.

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There we were in Alabama.

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A very strong, Christian
part of the country,

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in one of the United States\'
worst prisons, and we

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were teaching the
teachings of the Buddha.

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No one is telling them what
to look at or how to change.

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They\'re gaining their
insights within themselves.

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Life without parole
doesn\'t mean that you\'re

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to be punished, or
worked, or any of that.

00:02:06.761 --> 00:02:10.449 align:middle line:90%

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It means, you\'re to be
warehoused until you die.

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This is my home,
and I\'m going to do

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what I can to help make
the best place it can be.

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I want a nice
place to live, too.

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The best way to
describe a prison

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is to think of it
as a small city.

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Your correctional officers
are your police force.

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I\'m the mayor.

00:03:08.020 --> 00:03:19.074 align:middle line:90%

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Just like you have
people that are

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of great influence
on the street,

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you have inmates of
here of great influence

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with other inmates.

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You have organized crime
inside of a prison, that

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are controlling illicit
activities from prostituting

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inmates, to drugs, to gambling.

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And that\'s a constant battle
for us to keep under control.

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What you got out
here is 500 inmates.

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Four dormitories this
way with 110 per dorm,

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and B dorm with 116 down here.

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That\'s tower four.

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That\'s the sally port, where
any vehicles come in and out

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of the institution.

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All towers are armed.

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I have segregation, so I
put them under investigation

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or detention and lock them up.

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That\'s basically
the premise of it.

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6 block, front door.

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We have a lot coming
and a lot going.

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Too many of them do come back.

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9 times out of 10, they
fall in to their old habits

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when they get back
to their hometown,

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and they run with the
same folks who got them

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in here the first time.

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I can pretty much tell whether
or not they\'re coming back.

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The majority of my time
I\'ve been in prison,

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I\'ve been in segregation.

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I always looked at
the officers like,

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you know, they\'re my enemies,
or I had this big image of them.

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I felt like I had
to have this image

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to survive in this environment.

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All I thought I wanted
was just another chance

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to go back and go to school.

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Another chance at life.

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You know, I wouldn\'t
have achieved anything.

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It would\'ve been like, back
on the same path again.

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My son, Edward Curby
Johnson, he was

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in his third year
of Miles College,

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3.0 grade average,
playing baseball.

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The scouts was looking
at him for pro.

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He had just made a decision
to turn his life around.

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But sometimes, your
first impression

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will always be your
last impression,

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even when you try to change.

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Sometimes others
do not understand.

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June the 2nd, 1991.

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If my behind had
been at home, then I

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wouldn\'t have to worry
about being in prison.

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I take responsibility
for my actions now.

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I didn\'t do that at first.

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I was like, man.

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These folks throw me in
prison like this here.

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For the rest of my
life, for nothing?

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Had to be for something.

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Edward, you did something.

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Accept what you\'ve
done, and let\'s move on.

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[SIREN WAILING]

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Guys had come to one
of the spots I had,

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and there was just
a big shoot out.

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One was dropped in the
middle of the sidewalk.

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For my understanding, one fell
near the building, and one

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across Third Avenue.

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I haven\'t been on this street
but once since this happened.

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This will make my second
time on this street.

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I try not to travel this street.

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I have no reason to.

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What\'s up, y\'all?

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Did y\'all win?

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Lost by one.

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Y\'all lost by one?

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What about you, [? Hayden? ?]

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We play on the same team.

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Oh, y\'all on the
same team this year.

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Oh, you done moved up
to the big dog house.

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Oh, it hit me hard
to find out Ed

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went through what he
was going through.

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But he wasn\'t really the
one going through anything.

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It was us, and I
didn\'t realise it.

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I cry little bit, but
I don\'t cry a bunch.

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See how I got in your head.

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Go ahead of.

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Sometimes, you just
hate that he\'s in there.

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I wish he could just come home.

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[SHOUTING]

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As a psychologist
at Donaldson, I

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realized treatment
was essential.

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I started looking around, and
I came across a prison in India

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that was using a meditative
technique known as Vipassana.

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Vipassana is an intense program.

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The inmate has to go
through it 24 hours a day,

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meditating for hours on end,
for a 10-day period of time.

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That particular program seemed
to have a calming effect

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on that population.

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So I was thinking, perhaps
we could take that program

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and transplant it
into Donaldson,

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and run it as a regular program.

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When people say, you\'re
the first prison in America

00:09:44.035 --> 00:09:49.479 align:middle line:84%
to actually do this
program, it just sort of

00:09:49.479 --> 00:09:50.312 align:middle line:90%
is incomprehensible.

00:09:50.312 --> 00:09:53.800 align:middle line:90%

00:09:53.800 --> 00:10:01.440 align:middle line:84%
I\'ve heard \"Vi-pass-eh-na,\"
\"Vi-pee-see-na.\"

00:10:01.440 --> 00:10:04.939 align:middle line:84%
My main supervisor was
telling me, he\'s like, Big E,

00:10:04.939 --> 00:10:05.980 align:middle line:90%
how do you say that word?

00:10:05.980 --> 00:10:09.450 align:middle line:90%
Is it \"Vi-pray-se-na?\"

00:10:09.450 --> 00:10:16.790 align:middle line:90%
I said, no, it\'s \"Vi-poss-en-a.\"

00:10:16.790 --> 00:10:18.920 align:middle line:84%
The questions about
what the program was

00:10:18.920 --> 00:10:20.040 align:middle line:90%
were somewhat simple.

00:10:20.040 --> 00:10:24.220 align:middle line:84%
It\'s, what benefit was
it going to have for us.

00:10:24.220 --> 00:10:26.640 align:middle line:84%
How does anybody
do it for 10 days

00:10:26.640 --> 00:10:28.185 align:middle line:90%
without being able to talk?

00:10:28.185 --> 00:10:31.190 align:middle line:90%

00:10:31.190 --> 00:10:34.970 align:middle line:84%
No telephones, no
TV, nothing to read.

00:10:34.970 --> 00:10:37.770 align:middle line:84%
And that just seemed like an
incredible task to overcome.

00:10:37.770 --> 00:10:42.080 align:middle line:90%

00:10:42.080 --> 00:10:44.600 align:middle line:84%
I need to sit the program so
I\'ll have a better idea of what

00:10:44.600 --> 00:10:46.060 align:middle line:84%
it\'s about, but I\'ll
be honest with you,

00:10:46.060 --> 00:10:47.101 align:middle line:90%
it\'s rather intimidating.

00:10:47.101 --> 00:10:52.510 align:middle line:90%

00:10:52.510 --> 00:10:54.850 align:middle line:84%
While I was here as
the psychologist,

00:10:54.850 --> 00:10:57.740 align:middle line:84%
we had a House of
Healing program

00:10:57.740 --> 00:11:00.830 align:middle line:84%
which highlighted doing
meditation as part

00:11:00.830 --> 00:11:02.360 align:middle line:90%
of our relaxation techniques.

00:11:02.360 --> 00:11:07.004 align:middle line:90%

00:11:07.004 --> 00:11:09.670 align:middle line:84%
It turned out that
the inmates are

00:11:09.670 --> 00:11:12.465 align:middle line:84%
very receptive to
meditative practices.

00:11:12.465 --> 00:11:16.140 align:middle line:90%

00:11:16.140 --> 00:11:19.490 align:middle line:84%
Vipassana really takes
it one step further,

00:11:19.490 --> 00:11:23.340 align:middle line:84%
and that goes to
the sensation level,

00:11:23.340 --> 00:11:26.990 align:middle line:84%
to where it puts you
literally in touch

00:11:26.990 --> 00:11:32.840 align:middle line:84%
with your bodily sensations,
to realize these sensations are

00:11:32.840 --> 00:11:34.025 align:middle line:90%
driving your behavior.

00:11:34.025 --> 00:11:36.980 align:middle line:90%

00:11:36.980 --> 00:11:41.940 align:middle line:84%
My name is Benjamin
Betaguy [INAUDIBLE] Oryang.

00:11:41.940 --> 00:11:44.830 align:middle line:90%
Everybody calls me OB.

00:11:44.830 --> 00:11:48.460 align:middle line:84%
I\'m the one who helps facilitate
the House of Healing class,

00:11:48.460 --> 00:11:53.130 align:middle line:84%
and almost all the other
mental health workshops here.

00:11:53.130 --> 00:11:56.024 align:middle line:84%
Generally speaking, these are
things which will pick up.

00:11:56.024 --> 00:11:57.690 align:middle line:84%
These are things which
take the course--

00:11:57.690 --> 00:11:59.680 align:middle line:90%
I want to help people.

00:11:59.680 --> 00:12:03.260 align:middle line:84%
That\'s one thing I want
to do is to help people.

00:12:03.260 --> 00:12:05.850 align:middle line:84%
Different experiences with
our families, with our peers,

00:12:05.850 --> 00:12:06.790 align:middle line:90%
in school.

00:12:06.790 --> 00:12:10.590 align:middle line:84%
The work which is done
through all these courses, all

00:12:10.590 --> 00:12:14.222 align:middle line:84%
the classes and whatnot,
including the Vipassana class,

00:12:14.222 --> 00:12:18.180 align:middle line:84%
is something that should be
used for personal development,

00:12:18.180 --> 00:12:23.020 align:middle line:84%
personal growth, irrespective
of whether someone is free

00:12:23.020 --> 00:12:25.250 align:middle line:84%
or whether someone
is incarcerated.

00:12:25.250 --> 00:12:28.219 align:middle line:84%
I think such work
should be done if one

00:12:28.219 --> 00:12:29.260 align:middle line:90%
wants to grow personally.

00:12:29.260 --> 00:12:34.699 align:middle line:90%

00:12:34.699 --> 00:12:36.570 align:middle line:90%
I\'ve been locked up 16 years.

00:12:36.570 --> 00:12:39.400 align:middle line:84%
8 and 1/2 years on death row
in that five by eight cell,

00:12:39.400 --> 00:12:43.710 align:middle line:84%
and every morning, I\'d have to
get up and live with the fact

00:12:43.710 --> 00:12:46.790 align:middle line:84%
that I have isolated
myself from everybody

00:12:46.790 --> 00:12:50.450 align:middle line:84%
that I loved, isolated
everybody I love from me,

00:12:50.450 --> 00:12:54.040 align:middle line:84%
and pretty much
wrecked their lives.

00:12:54.040 --> 00:12:55.110 align:middle line:90%
I had small children.

00:12:55.110 --> 00:12:56.651 align:middle line:84%
They had to grow up
in this community

00:12:56.651 --> 00:13:00.360 align:middle line:84%
where their father has
done this horrific act.

00:13:00.360 --> 00:13:02.100 align:middle line:84%
They had to go to
school with kids

00:13:02.100 --> 00:13:06.280 align:middle line:84%
that-- your father
is a murderer.

00:13:06.280 --> 00:13:10.800 align:middle line:84%
I thought I had a real good
life going, and I blew it.

00:13:10.800 --> 00:13:22.171 align:middle line:90%

00:13:22.171 --> 00:13:23.670 align:middle line:84%
My mother took us
out in the country

00:13:23.670 --> 00:13:25.045 align:middle line:84%
to this old,
deserted farm house.

00:13:25.045 --> 00:13:28.920 align:middle line:90%

00:13:28.920 --> 00:13:30.550 align:middle line:90%
She didn\'t know what to do.

00:13:30.550 --> 00:13:32.170 align:middle line:84%
She didn\'t think
she could raise us.

00:13:32.170 --> 00:13:36.890 align:middle line:90%

00:13:36.890 --> 00:13:39.930 align:middle line:84%
She got us out of the car,
set us on the front steps,

00:13:39.930 --> 00:13:43.180 align:middle line:84%
and she told me, I
want y\'all to be good.

00:13:43.180 --> 00:13:43.960 align:middle line:90%
I love you all.

00:13:43.960 --> 00:13:47.586 align:middle line:90%
I\'ll be back in a little while.

00:13:47.586 --> 00:13:50.830 align:middle line:84%
She hugged, hugged Danny,
got in the car, and left.

00:13:50.830 --> 00:13:54.430 align:middle line:90%

00:13:54.430 --> 00:13:56.980 align:middle line:84%
But I was so drunk,
by the time that they

00:13:56.980 --> 00:14:01.960 align:middle line:84%
had started stabbing the
guy, I turned into a coward.

00:14:01.960 --> 00:14:03.499 align:middle line:90%
I didn\'t try to stop them.

00:14:03.499 --> 00:14:04.040 align:middle line:90%
I was scared.

00:14:04.040 --> 00:14:06.540 align:middle line:84%
I was scared they were going
to leave me there like they did

00:14:06.540 --> 00:14:08.550 align:middle line:90%
him, and I didn\'t do anything.

00:14:08.550 --> 00:14:18.861 align:middle line:90%

00:14:18.861 --> 00:14:21.820 align:middle line:90%
She left us out there to die.

00:14:21.820 --> 00:14:25.230 align:middle line:84%
She didn\'t want to live herself,
is what she told me later.

00:14:25.230 --> 00:14:28.035 align:middle line:84%
I didn\'t hear from her again
until I got to death row.

00:14:28.035 --> 00:14:32.980 align:middle line:90%

00:14:32.980 --> 00:14:35.750 align:middle line:90%
And my case is not a killing.

00:14:35.750 --> 00:14:37.990 align:middle line:90%
It\'s not just a murder.

00:14:37.990 --> 00:14:40.830 align:middle line:84%
It\'s rated as capital
murder, murder robbery,

00:14:40.830 --> 00:14:42.570 align:middle line:84%
but that\'s not
what it was either.

00:14:42.570 --> 00:14:44.430 align:middle line:90%
My case was a slaughter.

00:14:44.430 --> 00:14:48.060 align:middle line:84%
The man was stabbed three
times in the face, 59 times

00:14:48.060 --> 00:14:52.090 align:middle line:84%
in the back, and his
throat was cut 16 times.

00:14:52.090 --> 00:14:52.960 align:middle line:90%
Almost decapitated.

00:14:52.960 --> 00:14:58.680 align:middle line:90%

00:14:58.680 --> 00:15:02.710 align:middle line:84%
I\'d just as soon have been
killed like that man was

00:15:02.710 --> 00:15:04.730 align:middle line:90%
and left there with him.

00:15:04.730 --> 00:15:06.934 align:middle line:84%
Then the people that
really mattered to me

00:15:06.934 --> 00:15:09.100 align:middle line:84%
wouldn\'t have been through
what they\'d been through.

00:15:09.100 --> 00:15:15.380 align:middle line:90%

00:15:15.380 --> 00:15:18.450 align:middle line:84%
I\'ve had a keen interest
in bringing Vipassana

00:15:18.450 --> 00:15:22.879 align:middle line:84%
to corrections for
quite some time.

00:15:22.879 --> 00:15:24.920 align:middle line:84%
But of course, India is
a very different culture,

00:15:24.920 --> 00:15:29.070 align:middle line:84%
and they\'re open to a lot more
of these kind of practices,

00:15:29.070 --> 00:15:31.385 align:middle line:84%
meditation, so it\'s
a very foreign thing.

00:15:31.385 --> 00:15:35.580 align:middle line:90%

00:15:35.580 --> 00:15:40.710 align:middle line:84%
Being a Buddhist program from
the past in a Christian setting

00:15:40.710 --> 00:15:43.580 align:middle line:84%
is a little questionable
for a lot of people.

00:15:43.580 --> 00:15:46.090 align:middle line:84%
You\'re in the Bible
Belt in South Alabama,

00:15:46.090 --> 00:15:47.075 align:middle line:90%
or in Alabama, period.

00:15:47.075 --> 00:15:50.430 align:middle line:90%

00:15:50.430 --> 00:15:53.360 align:middle line:84%
We have to be progressive and
be willing to take chances,

00:15:53.360 --> 00:15:56.330 align:middle line:84%
and the chances that
we\'re taking are minimal.

00:15:56.330 --> 00:15:58.300 align:middle line:84%
If it doesn\'t work,
it was a program

00:15:58.300 --> 00:16:00.400 align:middle line:84%
that we tried that
didn\'t succeed.

00:16:00.400 --> 00:16:03.900 align:middle line:84%
If it does work, then I
receive all the accolades.

00:16:03.900 --> 00:16:07.799 align:middle line:90%
I don\'t see a great danger here.

00:16:07.799 --> 00:16:09.715 align:middle line:84%
The only failure is the
person who didn\'t try.

00:16:09.715 --> 00:16:13.450 align:middle line:90%

00:16:13.450 --> 00:16:16.080 align:middle line:84%
One of the things that
happens in this state

00:16:16.080 --> 00:16:19.550 align:middle line:84%
is that you have two
models of corrections.

00:16:19.550 --> 00:16:21.690 align:middle line:84%
One is a
treatment-oriented model

00:16:21.690 --> 00:16:24.710 align:middle line:84%
where, once you
lock the inmate up,

00:16:24.710 --> 00:16:27.680 align:middle line:84%
you start to provide
services for him.

00:16:27.680 --> 00:16:30.600 align:middle line:84%
The other model is more
of a punitive model, where

00:16:30.600 --> 00:16:33.200 align:middle line:84%
you lock the inmate up
and you forget about him.

00:16:33.200 --> 00:16:33.700 align:middle line:90%
That\'s it.

00:16:33.700 --> 00:16:39.350 align:middle line:90%

00:16:39.350 --> 00:16:41.720 align:middle line:84%
The state of Alabama,
in my opinion,

00:16:41.720 --> 00:16:44.030 align:middle line:84%
the prison system
is something else.

00:16:44.030 --> 00:16:46.840 align:middle line:90%

00:16:46.840 --> 00:16:50.570 align:middle line:84%
We\'re probably one of the
worst states in the Union

00:16:50.570 --> 00:16:55.120 align:middle line:84%
about treating our prisoners
the way they should be.

00:16:55.120 --> 00:16:58.530 align:middle line:84%
It\'s more or less a
thing of captivity

00:16:58.530 --> 00:17:02.413 align:middle line:84%
rather than a thing
of rehabilitation.

00:17:02.413 --> 00:17:04.329 align:middle line:84%
They\'re saying that
there\'s no money for this,

00:17:04.329 --> 00:17:05.569 align:middle line:90%
and no money for that.

00:17:05.569 --> 00:17:07.500 align:middle line:84%
You know, it\'s always
money for other things,

00:17:07.500 --> 00:17:11.031 align:middle line:84%
but there\'s never enough
money for the right thing.

00:17:11.031 --> 00:17:15.526 align:middle line:84%
Shall not perish, but they
shall have everlasting life.

00:17:15.526 --> 00:17:17.609 align:middle line:84%
My friend, you got life
when you got Jesus Christ.

00:17:17.609 --> 00:17:18.970 align:middle line:90%
Life, my friend.

00:17:18.970 --> 00:17:19.640 align:middle line:90%
Life, my friend.

00:17:19.640 --> 00:17:21.020 align:middle line:90%
Life!

00:17:21.020 --> 00:17:24.180 align:middle line:84%
Well, I don\'t believe in
Buddhism and stuff like that.

00:17:24.180 --> 00:17:26.060 align:middle line:90%
I\'m a Christian.

00:17:26.060 --> 00:17:29.691 align:middle line:84%
Or any kind of witchcraft at
all, so I don\'t believe it

00:17:29.691 --> 00:17:30.190 align:middle line:90%
would help.

00:17:30.190 --> 00:17:34.140 align:middle line:90%

00:17:34.140 --> 00:17:37.380 align:middle line:90%
They\'re given too much, anyway.

00:17:37.380 --> 00:17:40.440 align:middle line:84%
I mean, if they\'re going to
go rob stores, kill people,

00:17:40.440 --> 00:17:42.630 align:middle line:90%
they don\'t deserve nothing.

00:17:42.630 --> 00:17:43.170 align:middle line:90%
My opinion.

00:17:43.170 --> 00:17:45.570 align:middle line:90%
I work every day.

00:17:45.570 --> 00:17:46.310 align:middle line:90%
They should too.

00:17:46.310 --> 00:17:50.150 align:middle line:90%

00:17:50.150 --> 00:17:52.930 align:middle line:90%
I hope they do change.

00:17:52.930 --> 00:17:57.370 align:middle line:84%
You know, for society\'s
sake, I hope they change.

00:17:57.370 --> 00:18:01.284 align:middle line:84%
But the 10 days of being
isolated, meditating.

00:18:01.284 --> 00:18:03.450 align:middle line:84%
They should have meditated
before they done whatever

00:18:03.450 --> 00:18:04.491 align:middle line:90%
they did to get in there.

00:18:04.491 --> 00:18:10.960 align:middle line:90%

00:18:10.960 --> 00:18:15.120 align:middle line:84%
I was very nervous to go to
a maximum security prison.

00:18:15.120 --> 00:18:22.750 align:middle line:84%
The atmosphere was so
heavy and oppressive.

00:18:22.750 --> 00:18:25.880 align:middle line:84%
I felt I was going to, like, the
prison in Shawshank Redemption.

00:18:25.880 --> 00:18:30.250 align:middle line:90%

00:18:30.250 --> 00:18:35.420 align:middle line:84%
What happens if you bring
these teachers in that have

00:18:35.420 --> 00:18:38.850 align:middle line:90%
no background in corrections?

00:18:38.850 --> 00:18:40.960 align:middle line:84%
How\'s that going to
work, knowing that you\'ve

00:18:40.960 --> 00:18:46.090 align:middle line:84%
turned this part of the prison
over to people just coming

00:18:46.090 --> 00:18:47.645 align:middle line:90%
in off the street?

00:18:47.645 --> 00:18:50.720 align:middle line:90%
Home, sweet home.

00:18:50.720 --> 00:18:53.110 align:middle line:84%
Well, when Vipassana
first approached,

00:18:53.110 --> 00:18:55.240 align:middle line:84%
they came up with
a lot of issues,

00:18:55.240 --> 00:18:58.150 align:middle line:84%
such as wanting to
live inside the prison

00:18:58.150 --> 00:19:03.510 align:middle line:84%
with the inmates, which I found
at first to be just absolutely

00:19:03.510 --> 00:19:05.290 align:middle line:90%
nonsense, to tell you the truth.

00:19:05.290 --> 00:19:09.290 align:middle line:90%

00:19:09.290 --> 00:19:12.600 align:middle line:84%
We had to get ourselves
established in our living

00:19:12.600 --> 00:19:15.160 align:middle line:90%
quarters.

00:19:15.160 --> 00:19:17.810 align:middle line:84%
There was an open
toilet, and a sink,

00:19:17.810 --> 00:19:19.550 align:middle line:90%
so we actually had no privacy.

00:19:19.550 --> 00:19:22.870 align:middle line:84%
We did actually hang up a
curtain for as much privacy

00:19:22.870 --> 00:19:24.250 align:middle line:90%
as we could get.

00:19:24.250 --> 00:19:27.905 align:middle line:84%
And so to say the least,
it was very rudimentary.

00:19:27.905 --> 00:19:33.790 align:middle line:90%

00:19:33.790 --> 00:19:35.496 align:middle line:90%
That place became our haven.

00:19:35.496 --> 00:19:41.450 align:middle line:90%

00:19:41.450 --> 00:19:47.530 align:middle line:84%
We found ourselves really
quite fascinated with the fact

00:19:47.530 --> 00:19:53.460 align:middle line:84%
that, here we were in one of the
United States\' worst prisons,

00:19:53.460 --> 00:19:57.640 align:middle line:84%
and these very lofty
teachings of the Buddha

00:19:57.640 --> 00:19:59.850 align:middle line:84%
were being taught
in this institution.

00:19:59.850 --> 00:20:03.277 align:middle line:84%
I mean, it was just mind
boggling that we were there.

00:20:03.277 --> 00:20:03.776 align:middle line:90%
Bruce.

00:20:03.776 --> 00:20:04.420 align:middle line:90%
What do you think?

00:20:04.420 --> 00:20:04.920 align:middle line:90%
Souvenir?

00:20:04.920 --> 00:20:08.240 align:middle line:90%

00:20:08.240 --> 00:20:10.120 align:middle line:84%
I think we had good
reason to be scared,

00:20:10.120 --> 00:20:14.820 align:middle line:84%
but I had a lot of confidence in
the authorities and the warden.

00:20:14.820 --> 00:20:19.290 align:middle line:90%
I felt very, sort of, protected.

00:20:19.290 --> 00:20:21.030 align:middle line:90%
Maybe naively so, but I did.

00:20:21.030 --> 00:20:24.430 align:middle line:90%

00:20:24.430 --> 00:20:27.350 align:middle line:84%
The first thing I want
to say is a little bit

00:20:27.350 --> 00:20:30.460 align:middle line:90%
about what Vipassana is.

00:20:30.460 --> 00:20:33.430 align:middle line:84%
For the 10 days that you\'re
going to be taking the course,

00:20:33.430 --> 00:20:37.830 align:middle line:84%
you\'re going to be observing a
strict moral code of conduct.

00:20:37.830 --> 00:20:40.700 align:middle line:84%
We go through a much more
involved orientation process

00:20:40.700 --> 00:20:44.830 align:middle line:84%
for the inmates, so that we
acclimate them to the course

00:20:44.830 --> 00:20:47.590 align:middle line:84%
and allow them to
let their decision

00:20:47.590 --> 00:20:49.930 align:middle line:84%
to take the course
sink in in such a way

00:20:49.930 --> 00:20:52.820 align:middle line:84%
that, if they feel that this
is not the time for them to sit

00:20:52.820 --> 00:20:56.920 align:middle line:84%
a course, they can comfortably
decide not to before the course

00:20:56.920 --> 00:20:57.690 align:middle line:90%
actually begins.

00:20:57.690 --> 00:20:59.670 align:middle line:90%
And let me just say.

00:20:59.670 --> 00:21:03.610 align:middle line:84%
If you\'re not nervous about the
10-day course, you should be.

00:21:03.610 --> 00:21:07.340 align:middle line:84%
It\'s absolutely natural to have
doubts about your own capacity

00:21:07.340 --> 00:21:08.850 align:middle line:84%
to get through
the 10-day course,

00:21:08.850 --> 00:21:12.850 align:middle line:84%
doubts about the 10-day course
itself, about the benefits,

00:21:12.850 --> 00:21:14.320 align:middle line:90%
how hard it\'s going to be.

00:21:14.320 --> 00:21:16.800 align:middle line:84%
For the first nine
days of the course,

00:21:16.800 --> 00:21:19.870 align:middle line:84%
amongst themselves,
there\'s complete science.

00:21:19.870 --> 00:21:21.660 align:middle line:84%
Then there are
the five precepts,

00:21:21.660 --> 00:21:24.400 align:middle line:84%
which is abstaining
from killing, stealing,

00:21:24.400 --> 00:21:29.670 align:middle line:84%
sexual misconduct, lying,
and all intoxicants.

00:21:29.670 --> 00:21:31.800 align:middle line:84%
And then there are
the specific rules

00:21:31.800 --> 00:21:34.970 align:middle line:90%
about the schedule for the day.

00:21:34.970 --> 00:21:37.590 align:middle line:84%
Just to summarize, your
primary during the 10 days

00:21:37.590 --> 00:21:41.710 align:middle line:84%
is going to be to follow
the schedule of meditation,

00:21:41.710 --> 00:21:46.230 align:middle line:84%
the rest periods, the meal
times, and the breaks.

00:21:46.230 --> 00:21:49.730 align:middle line:90%
It\'s a very regimented day.

00:21:49.730 --> 00:21:53.700 align:middle line:84%
It\'s, in many ways, stricter
than your normal prison

00:21:53.700 --> 00:21:54.500 align:middle line:90%
daily schedule.

00:21:54.500 --> 00:21:58.730 align:middle line:90%

00:21:58.730 --> 00:22:02.610 align:middle line:84%
To be honest with you, when
I first heard of the program,

00:22:02.610 --> 00:22:03.835 align:middle line:90%
I was skeptical of it myself.

00:22:03.835 --> 00:22:06.850 align:middle line:90%

00:22:06.850 --> 00:22:10.100 align:middle line:84%
I thought, well, we\'re going
to waste some time here.

00:22:10.100 --> 00:22:12.620 align:middle line:90%

00:22:12.620 --> 00:22:18.780 align:middle line:84%
Some of the inmates are going
to use this program as a way

00:22:18.780 --> 00:22:24.895 align:middle line:84%
to get away from the block
and to do their own thing.

00:22:24.895 --> 00:22:28.230 align:middle line:90%

00:22:28.230 --> 00:22:28.975 align:middle line:90%
What is that?

00:22:28.975 --> 00:22:31.316 align:middle line:90%
I don\'t want to go through that.

00:22:31.316 --> 00:22:32.060 align:middle line:90%
You know.

00:22:32.060 --> 00:22:33.410 align:middle line:90%
I was scared.

00:22:33.410 --> 00:22:36.640 align:middle line:90%
I was real scared.

00:22:36.640 --> 00:22:37.630 align:middle line:90%
And so I start smiling.

00:22:37.630 --> 00:22:40.550 align:middle line:84%
I said, you know,
it\'s good to meditate.

00:22:40.550 --> 00:22:43.320 align:middle line:84%
And I say, meditation,
I say, sometimes

00:22:43.320 --> 00:22:45.580 align:middle line:84%
it pays to shut
everything down so

00:22:45.580 --> 00:22:47.180 align:middle line:90%
you can just sit quiet in here.

00:22:47.180 --> 00:22:49.970 align:middle line:90%

00:22:49.970 --> 00:22:53.220 align:middle line:84%
I\'ve been through every
course imaginable.

00:22:53.220 --> 00:22:55.880 align:middle line:90%
I know it all.

00:22:55.880 --> 00:22:57.530 align:middle line:90%
A meditation course?

00:22:57.530 --> 00:22:59.358 align:middle line:90%
Come on.

00:22:59.358 --> 00:23:01.640 align:middle line:90%
I have a question.

00:23:01.640 --> 00:23:04.740 align:middle line:84%
I\'m a firm believer that
the only protection I have

00:23:04.740 --> 00:23:08.429 align:middle line:84%
for myself,
spiritually, is prayer,

00:23:08.429 --> 00:23:09.970 align:middle line:84%
but I understand
through the program,

00:23:09.970 --> 00:23:12.744 align:middle line:90%
that we can\'t indulge in prayer.

00:23:12.744 --> 00:23:14.160 align:middle line:84%
I was just wondering,
why is that?

00:23:14.160 --> 00:23:16.070 align:middle line:84%
The reason we ask
you to do that is

00:23:16.070 --> 00:23:19.870 align:middle line:84%
because, when we work at
a deep level of the mind,

00:23:19.870 --> 00:23:23.190 align:middle line:84%
we want to have no
other practices that

00:23:23.190 --> 00:23:26.410 align:middle line:84%
involve exercising
the mind in this way.

00:23:26.410 --> 00:23:29.100 align:middle line:84%
Right from the very
start, I was always

00:23:29.100 --> 00:23:33.560 align:middle line:84%
concerned from the
religious point of view

00:23:33.560 --> 00:23:39.730 align:middle line:84%
that they would see this program
as something foreign, or alien,

00:23:39.730 --> 00:23:47.590 align:middle line:84%
unusual, different, that would
take away from their programs.

00:23:47.590 --> 00:23:49.840 align:middle line:84%
How many of you consider
yourselves to be religious?

00:23:49.840 --> 00:23:52.760 align:middle line:90%

00:23:52.760 --> 00:23:55.040 align:middle line:90%
Quite a few of you.

00:23:55.040 --> 00:23:59.380 align:middle line:84%
Or spiritual, religious,
however you want to say it.

00:23:59.380 --> 00:24:01.580 align:middle line:84%
It\'s not that it\'s
teaching a religion.

00:24:01.580 --> 00:24:05.560 align:middle line:84%
It\'s teaching a meditation
practice that was born there.

00:24:05.560 --> 00:24:08.280 align:middle line:84%
I don\'t think that will be a
problem once that\'s understood.

00:24:08.280 --> 00:24:11.700 align:middle line:84%
Now, if you came in and tried
to teach against Christianity

00:24:11.700 --> 00:24:17.140 align:middle line:84%
and to teach Buddhism, it would
become a real problem here.

00:24:17.140 --> 00:24:20.190 align:middle line:84%
As a matter of fact, I would
have some difficulty with that.

00:24:20.190 --> 00:24:23.610 align:middle line:90%

00:24:23.610 --> 00:24:25.760 align:middle line:84%
I had a guy come to me
this morning and tell me,

00:24:25.760 --> 00:24:28.220 align:middle line:84%
he said, I\'m concerned
because the guys that

00:24:28.220 --> 00:24:31.500 align:middle line:84%
aren\'t really grounded real well
in Christianity go down there

00:24:31.500 --> 00:24:35.180 align:middle line:84%
and they\'re going
to become Buddhist.

00:24:35.180 --> 00:24:38.700 align:middle line:90%
Well, they won\'t understand.

00:24:38.700 --> 00:24:40.890 align:middle line:84%
And I said, well, what\'s
not to understand about

00:24:40.890 --> 00:24:43.210 align:middle line:90%
compassion, love, and caring?

00:24:43.210 --> 00:24:49.070 align:middle line:84%
And that was the big turnaround
for me, realizing that.

00:24:49.070 --> 00:24:50.070 align:middle line:90%
That was the turnaround.

00:24:50.070 --> 00:24:57.320 align:middle line:90%

00:24:57.320 --> 00:24:59.380 align:middle line:84%
This west gym will
be locked down.

00:24:59.380 --> 00:25:01.450 align:middle line:84%
The inmates will not
be able to go out,

00:25:01.450 --> 00:25:04.430 align:middle line:84%
and inmates from the outside
will not be able to come in.

00:25:04.430 --> 00:25:08.320 align:middle line:90%

00:25:08.320 --> 00:25:13.100 align:middle line:84%
This is very much a monastic
sitting, in a sense.

00:25:13.100 --> 00:25:14.350 align:middle line:90%
Or prison within a prison.

00:25:14.350 --> 00:25:22.350 align:middle line:90%

00:25:22.350 --> 00:25:26.485 align:middle line:84%
OB was very instrumental
in setting up the courses.

00:25:26.485 --> 00:25:29.000 align:middle line:90%

00:25:29.000 --> 00:25:29.680 align:middle line:90%
That\'ll do.

00:25:29.680 --> 00:25:31.540 align:middle line:90%
We put the duct tape.

00:25:31.540 --> 00:25:33.960 align:middle line:84%
We duct tape it all
up, it should be fine.

00:25:33.960 --> 00:25:34.745 align:middle line:90%
We got matching.

00:25:34.745 --> 00:25:35.990 align:middle line:90%
We got matching tape now.

00:25:35.990 --> 00:25:36.985 align:middle line:90%
Wow.

00:25:36.985 --> 00:25:37.610 align:middle line:90%
That\'s great.

00:25:37.610 --> 00:25:39.560 align:middle line:84%
We\'ve got some gray
ones too, which we could

00:25:39.560 --> 00:25:41.080 align:middle line:90%
use for the edge of the white.

00:25:41.080 --> 00:25:44.690 align:middle line:84%
He told me that he had started
meditating, and so I asked him,

00:25:44.690 --> 00:25:45.690 align:middle line:90%
you started meditating.

00:25:45.690 --> 00:25:47.000 align:middle line:90%
What\'s going on?

00:25:47.000 --> 00:25:50.250 align:middle line:84%
And, I mean, I\'ve
always been apprehensive

00:25:50.250 --> 00:25:53.610 align:middle line:90%
about these things.

00:25:53.610 --> 00:25:57.910 align:middle line:84%
He explained to me that it
is to relax you, and enable

00:25:57.910 --> 00:26:02.320 align:middle line:84%
you to focus on
controlling your emotions.

00:26:02.320 --> 00:26:04.120 align:middle line:84%
He went through a
whole length of things,

00:26:04.120 --> 00:26:06.160 align:middle line:84%
but I was just concerned
about his well being.

00:26:06.160 --> 00:26:10.710 align:middle line:90%

00:26:10.710 --> 00:26:12.270 align:middle line:84%
What I noticed
about OB is that he

00:26:12.270 --> 00:26:16.250 align:middle line:84%
seemed to be more calm,
more at peace with himself.

00:26:16.250 --> 00:26:18.695 align:middle line:84%
He seemed to have
that sense of purpose.

00:26:18.695 --> 00:26:24.100 align:middle line:90%

00:26:24.100 --> 00:26:26.830 align:middle line:84%
It\'s like stepping
into the abyss.

00:26:26.830 --> 00:26:28.330 align:middle line:90%
You know, to go Vipassana.

00:26:28.330 --> 00:26:31.700 align:middle line:84%
Because, when you\'re in here,
you\'re not just anybody.

00:26:31.700 --> 00:26:34.410 align:middle line:84%
You\'re already someone
that\'s harmed humanity.

00:26:34.410 --> 00:26:35.480 align:middle line:90%
You\'ve already done so.

00:26:35.480 --> 00:26:37.790 align:middle line:84%
And so you wonder, what is
it I haven\'t dealt with.

00:26:37.790 --> 00:26:44.040 align:middle line:84%
There may be things back there
that I may uncover that I\'ve

00:26:44.040 --> 00:26:45.647 align:middle line:90%
never even glanced at.

00:26:45.647 --> 00:27:01.740 align:middle line:90%

00:27:01.740 --> 00:27:05.120 align:middle line:84%
This woman came
out from the back.

00:27:05.120 --> 00:27:08.300 align:middle line:90%
I asked for her money.

00:27:08.300 --> 00:27:11.650 align:middle line:84%
I told her to lay
down in the floor,

00:27:11.650 --> 00:27:13.400 align:middle line:84%
and that didn\'t
seem to satisfy me.

00:27:13.400 --> 00:27:16.440 align:middle line:90%

00:27:16.440 --> 00:27:19.580 align:middle line:90%
So I told her to get up.

00:27:19.580 --> 00:27:23.820 align:middle line:84%
when she walked by me,
a stabbed her to death.

00:27:23.820 --> 00:27:24.620 align:middle line:90%
Many, many times.

00:27:24.620 --> 00:27:28.830 align:middle line:90%

00:27:28.830 --> 00:27:30.880 align:middle line:90%
You really don\'t feel.

00:27:30.880 --> 00:27:35.650 align:middle line:84%
You\'ve got this place where
it\'s like, things are not real.

00:27:35.650 --> 00:27:39.180 align:middle line:90%

00:27:39.180 --> 00:27:43.680 align:middle line:84%
Until you get stopped
by life itself,

00:27:43.680 --> 00:27:47.140 align:middle line:84%
where you have to stop and
take note of what you\'ve done,

00:27:47.140 --> 00:27:50.405 align:middle line:84%
what\'s going on with you,
then you just continue it.

00:27:50.405 --> 00:28:17.650 align:middle line:90%

00:28:17.650 --> 00:28:21.680 align:middle line:84%
The reason I feel that
Vipassana has opportunity,

00:28:21.680 --> 00:28:23.400 align:middle line:84%
one of the things,
its main principles,

00:28:23.400 --> 00:28:25.233 align:middle line:84%
is to make an individual
look at themselves.

00:28:25.233 --> 00:28:29.356 align:middle line:90%

00:28:29.356 --> 00:28:30.980 align:middle line:84%
When you get on the
cushion, and you\'re

00:28:30.980 --> 00:28:34.390 align:middle line:84%
having to deal with
yourself, under strict rules

00:28:34.390 --> 00:28:37.070 align:middle line:84%
and strict environment,
it\'s really

00:28:37.070 --> 00:28:38.250 align:middle line:90%
kind of changes everything.

00:28:38.250 --> 00:28:39.700 align:middle line:90%
You can\'t fake yourself.

00:28:39.700 --> 00:28:43.960 align:middle line:84%
And this is actually the last
orientation that we\'ll have,

00:28:43.960 --> 00:28:47.630 align:middle line:84%
and the idea is for
you to come in here,

00:28:47.630 --> 00:28:50.505 align:middle line:84%
get used to the environment
that you\'re going to be in,

00:28:50.505 --> 00:28:53.990 align:middle line:84%
have you sit on the
cushions, get a sense of what

00:28:53.990 --> 00:28:56.460 align:middle line:90%
that\'s going to feel like.

00:28:56.460 --> 00:28:58.110 align:middle line:84%
Each time we start
a group sitting,

00:28:58.110 --> 00:29:00.910 align:middle line:90%
we\'ll start off with chanting.

00:29:00.910 --> 00:29:05.150 align:middle line:84%
The chanting is to help
create and to preserve

00:29:05.150 --> 00:29:08.840 align:middle line:84%
a good environment
for you to work in.

00:29:08.840 --> 00:29:13.140 align:middle line:84%
So I\'m going to play you the
beginning of the chanting,

00:29:13.140 --> 00:29:15.750 align:middle line:84%
and then I\'ll play
the end of it.

00:29:15.750 --> 00:29:19.124 align:middle line:90%

00:29:19.124 --> 00:29:24.426 align:middle line:90%
[CHANTING PLAYING]

00:29:24.426 --> 00:29:26.960 align:middle line:90%

00:29:26.960 --> 00:29:30.860 align:middle line:84%
Being someone as
talkative as much as I am,

00:29:30.860 --> 00:29:34.300 align:middle line:84%
shutting up for 10 days
is just critical mass.

00:29:34.300 --> 00:29:35.530 align:middle line:90%
I\'m serious.

00:29:35.530 --> 00:29:37.990 align:middle line:84%
That\'s almost to drive you
into hysteria by itself.

00:29:37.990 --> 00:29:40.740 align:middle line:90%

00:29:40.740 --> 00:29:44.042 align:middle line:84%
What\'s 10 hours
going to look like?

00:29:44.042 --> 00:29:45.500 align:middle line:84%
What\'s it going to
do to your back?

00:29:45.500 --> 00:29:48.290 align:middle line:90%

00:29:48.290 --> 00:29:51.230 align:middle line:84%
It doesn\'t matter how much yoga
I\'ve done, or other things.

00:29:51.230 --> 00:29:55.270 align:middle line:84%
I still know that my legs,
the circulation cuts off.

00:29:55.270 --> 00:29:59.850 align:middle line:90%

00:29:59.850 --> 00:30:02.505 align:middle line:84%
I imagine it\'s kind of
like going in the army.

00:30:02.505 --> 00:30:05.630 align:middle line:84%
You know, when you get through a
boot camp, one way or the other

00:30:05.630 --> 00:30:07.410 align:middle line:84%
that you feel about
it, either it was OK

00:30:07.410 --> 00:30:09.250 align:middle line:84%
and you realize what
the purpose was for,

00:30:09.250 --> 00:30:14.014 align:middle line:84%
or you didn\'t, and you
had the extreme other.

00:30:14.014 --> 00:30:25.070 align:middle line:90%
[CHANTING PLAYING]

00:30:25.070 --> 00:30:29.410 align:middle line:90%
Come, oh people of the world.

00:30:29.410 --> 00:30:33.230 align:middle line:90%
Let us walk the path of truth.

00:30:33.230 --> 00:30:38.440 align:middle line:84%
The path of truth is
the path of peace.

00:30:38.440 --> 00:30:44.250 align:middle line:84%
The path of truth is
the path of happiness.

00:30:44.250 --> 00:30:47.040 align:middle line:84%
So you get a sense of
what he\'s chanting.

00:30:47.040 --> 00:30:49.005 align:middle line:90%
It\'s just good wishes.

00:30:49.005 --> 00:30:53.750 align:middle line:90%

00:30:53.750 --> 00:30:59.330 align:middle line:84%
So I wish you all a
success in these 10 days.

00:30:59.330 --> 00:31:03.710 align:middle line:84%
It won\'t always, always
be easy, but remember,

00:31:03.710 --> 00:31:08.622 align:middle line:84%
if you keep persisting, keep
trying, you will be successful.

00:31:08.622 --> 00:31:09.122 align:middle line:90%
So.

00:31:09.122 --> 00:31:12.375 align:middle line:90%

00:31:12.375 --> 00:31:16.137 align:middle line:84%
I wrestled with myself
for a long time.

00:31:16.137 --> 00:31:17.970 align:middle line:84%
So I said, I\'m going
to decide to take this.

00:31:17.970 --> 00:31:19.344 align:middle line:84%
I\'m going to see
what\'s going on.

00:31:19.344 --> 00:31:24.120 align:middle line:90%

00:31:24.120 --> 00:31:27.740 align:middle line:84%
There\'s part of me
that let me know, Ed.

00:31:27.740 --> 00:31:29.330 align:middle line:90%
You\'re ready, man.

00:31:29.330 --> 00:31:31.170 align:middle line:90%
You\'re ready.

00:31:31.170 --> 00:31:35.930 align:middle line:84%
You know, you\'re ready
to go and deal with life.

00:31:35.930 --> 00:31:38.270 align:middle line:84%
Some people are scared
to deal with life,

00:31:38.270 --> 00:31:41.910 align:middle line:84%
and I was one of those persons
scared to deal with life.

00:31:41.910 --> 00:32:13.410 align:middle line:90%
[MUSIC PLAYING]

00:32:13.410 --> 00:32:15.045 align:middle line:84%
I\'ve got to get it
going on myself.

00:32:15.045 --> 00:32:16.440 align:middle line:90%
[WHISTLE BLOWING]

00:32:16.440 --> 00:32:19.170 align:middle line:84%
All Vipassana inmates, you
need to get your stuff, junior.

00:32:19.170 --> 00:32:20.150 align:middle line:90%
Get your stuff.

00:32:20.150 --> 00:32:26.870 align:middle line:90%

00:32:26.870 --> 00:32:27.770 align:middle line:90%
All of them coming?

00:32:27.770 --> 00:32:30.002 align:middle line:90%
All this stuff on here?

00:32:30.002 --> 00:32:30.998 align:middle line:90%
All right.

00:32:30.998 --> 00:33:14.900 align:middle line:90%

00:33:14.900 --> 00:33:16.075 align:middle line:90%
[CHIMING]

00:33:16.075 --> 00:33:17.260 align:middle line:90%

00:33:17.260 --> 00:33:19.070 align:middle line:84%
I hear this sound
I\'m not used to,

00:33:19.070 --> 00:33:22.930 align:middle line:84%
and it means it\'s
time to get up.

00:33:22.930 --> 00:33:24.305 align:middle line:90%
I would come to hate that sound.

00:33:24.305 --> 00:33:28.013 align:middle line:90%

00:33:28.013 --> 00:33:35.360 align:middle line:90%
[CHIMING]

00:33:35.360 --> 00:33:38.940 align:middle line:84%
Probably the most challenging
discipline that we have

00:33:38.940 --> 00:33:40.280 align:middle line:90%
is one of noble silence.

00:33:40.280 --> 00:33:43.797 align:middle line:84%
So for nine days, the students
cannot actually talk with each

00:33:43.797 --> 00:33:44.297 align:middle line:90%
other.

00:33:44.297 --> 00:33:51.930 align:middle line:90%

00:33:51.930 --> 00:33:52.635 align:middle line:90%
It was so quiet.

00:33:52.635 --> 00:33:54.093 align:middle line:84%
You know, I hadn\'t
been in anything

00:33:54.093 --> 00:33:57.330 align:middle line:90%
that quiet since kindergarten.

00:33:57.330 --> 00:33:59.310 align:middle line:90%
But it was OK.

00:33:59.310 --> 00:34:07.490 align:middle line:90%

00:34:07.490 --> 00:34:10.460 align:middle line:84%
It\'s like they\'re
used to action.

00:34:10.460 --> 00:34:12.770 align:middle line:84%
They\'re used to
action at all times.

00:34:12.770 --> 00:34:15.929 align:middle line:84%
They\'re not used to
clearing their minds,

00:34:15.929 --> 00:34:19.360 align:middle line:84%
and, you know, meditating,
and listening to other,

00:34:19.360 --> 00:34:20.900 align:middle line:84%
you know, tell them
how to meditate,

00:34:20.900 --> 00:34:22.589 align:middle line:90%
how to express themselves.

00:34:22.589 --> 00:34:23.630 align:middle line:90%
they\'re not used to that.

00:34:23.630 --> 00:34:33.300 align:middle line:90%

00:34:33.300 --> 00:34:35.694 align:middle line:84%
First three days
were the rough part.

00:34:35.694 --> 00:34:38.019 align:middle line:90%

00:34:38.019 --> 00:34:39.560 align:middle line:84%
At this point in
time, you don\'t have

00:34:39.560 --> 00:34:42.816 align:middle line:84%
to sit hours and
hours the first day.

00:34:42.816 --> 00:34:43.587 align:middle line:90%
I was like, OK.

00:34:43.587 --> 00:34:44.420 align:middle line:90%
I can do this, yeah.

00:34:44.420 --> 00:34:45.009 align:middle line:90%
I can do this.

00:34:45.009 --> 00:34:46.550 align:middle line:84%
And I\'m telling
myself I can do this.

00:34:46.550 --> 00:34:51.090 align:middle line:90%

00:34:51.090 --> 00:34:53.070 align:middle line:84%
They\'re teaching
us about Anapana,

00:34:53.070 --> 00:34:54.620 align:middle line:90%
about the breathing process.

00:34:54.620 --> 00:34:57.190 align:middle line:84%
But at this time, I don\'t
know nothing about no Anapana,

00:34:57.190 --> 00:34:59.340 align:middle line:90%
about no breathing process.

00:34:59.340 --> 00:35:01.470 align:middle line:90%
So.

00:35:01.470 --> 00:35:09.115 align:middle line:90%
[CHANTING]

00:35:09.115 --> 00:35:10.330 align:middle line:90%

00:35:10.330 --> 00:35:14.020 align:middle line:84%
Anapana is strictly a
concentration technique,

00:35:14.020 --> 00:35:15.880 align:middle line:84%
so that when you
get to Vipassana,

00:35:15.880 --> 00:35:19.240 align:middle line:84%
you can work very deeply, or
you can observe the sensations

00:35:19.240 --> 00:35:22.320 align:middle line:90%
in the body.

00:35:22.320 --> 00:35:28.000 align:middle line:84%
Anapana is this breathing
through your nostrils.

00:35:28.000 --> 00:35:30.230 align:middle line:90%
When you Anapana, it opens up.

00:35:30.230 --> 00:35:32.229 align:middle line:90%
It opens up this part.

00:35:32.229 --> 00:35:33.020 align:middle line:90%
It helps you think.

00:35:33.020 --> 00:35:36.150 align:middle line:90%

00:35:36.150 --> 00:35:41.012 align:middle line:90%
It helps you think about you.

00:35:41.012 --> 00:35:43.200 align:middle line:84%
This technique
really is scientific.

00:35:43.200 --> 00:35:45.830 align:middle line:90%
It\'s very pragmatic.

00:35:45.830 --> 00:35:49.000 align:middle line:84%
And I think that they sense
that at a very early stage.

00:35:49.000 --> 00:36:10.230 align:middle line:90%

00:36:10.230 --> 00:36:14.250 align:middle line:84%
Vipassana means, literally,
to see things as they are.

00:36:14.250 --> 00:36:17.690 align:middle line:90%

00:36:17.690 --> 00:36:22.770 align:middle line:84%
To see the reality deep inside
of yourself as it really is.

00:36:22.770 --> 00:36:25.450 align:middle line:84%
And that, oftentimes, is not
a very pleasant experience,

00:36:25.450 --> 00:36:25.950 align:middle line:90%
initially.

00:36:25.950 --> 00:36:33.014 align:middle line:90%

00:36:33.014 --> 00:36:37.510 align:middle line:90%
[THUNDER RUMBLING]

00:36:37.510 --> 00:36:39.690 align:middle line:90%
I wake up exhausted.

00:36:39.690 --> 00:36:41.525 align:middle line:84%
I am concerned about
making this day.

00:36:41.525 --> 00:36:44.050 align:middle line:90%

00:36:44.050 --> 00:36:46.110 align:middle line:84%
The very hour that we
are to ask the teacher

00:36:46.110 --> 00:36:48.720 align:middle line:84%
to teach us Vipassana,
a thunderstorm

00:36:48.720 --> 00:36:50.635 align:middle line:84%
hits for the whole
duration of the session.

00:36:50.635 --> 00:36:57.000 align:middle line:90%

00:36:57.000 --> 00:36:58.710 align:middle line:84%
I think I was go
around too serious.

00:36:58.710 --> 00:37:00.206 align:middle line:84%
I went in there,
and I said, yeah.

00:37:00.206 --> 00:37:02.080 align:middle line:84%
I\'m going to do this,
and I\'m going to do it.

00:37:02.080 --> 00:37:03.496 align:middle line:84%
Nothing\'s going
to get in the way.

00:37:03.496 --> 00:37:06.150 align:middle line:84%
And then, as it turns out, so
many things got in the way.

00:37:06.150 --> 00:37:09.110 align:middle line:84%
And you know that I
found myself getting

00:37:09.110 --> 00:37:12.250 align:middle line:84%
angry at the things which were
getting in the way, you know,

00:37:12.250 --> 00:37:13.640 align:middle line:90%
and that was a big storm then.

00:37:13.640 --> 00:37:17.350 align:middle line:90%

00:37:17.350 --> 00:37:19.730 align:middle line:84%
Every student will
face what we call

00:37:19.730 --> 00:37:25.860 align:middle line:84%
a storm, where they will have
a deep sense of fear, anger,

00:37:25.860 --> 00:37:29.250 align:middle line:84%
depression, begin to come to
the surface level of the mind,

00:37:29.250 --> 00:37:30.620 align:middle line:90%
and they have to face that.

00:37:30.620 --> 00:37:32.120 align:middle line:84%
That is the technique
of Vipassana

00:37:32.120 --> 00:37:35.285 align:middle line:84%
is to work at that depth
where all that stuff comes up.

00:37:35.285 --> 00:37:38.520 align:middle line:84%
I knew that I had to
kind of let things go,

00:37:38.520 --> 00:37:40.855 align:middle line:84%
and I realized that I was
holding onto things too

00:37:40.855 --> 00:37:41.355 align:middle line:90%
strongly.

00:37:41.355 --> 00:37:45.650 align:middle line:90%

00:37:45.650 --> 00:37:46.800 align:middle line:90%
And that became very funny.

00:37:46.800 --> 00:37:49.922 align:middle line:84%
You know, I started
laughing about the way

00:37:49.922 --> 00:37:51.130 align:middle line:90%
I was reacting to everything.

00:37:51.130 --> 00:37:55.970 align:middle line:84%
I started laughing
because I was angry.

00:37:55.970 --> 00:38:00.220 align:middle line:84%
And in the midst of the
laughter, it changed to tears.

00:38:00.220 --> 00:38:02.845 align:middle line:90%

00:38:02.845 --> 00:38:03.990 align:middle line:90%
I was like, whoa.

00:38:03.990 --> 00:38:04.819 align:middle line:90%
And the big image.

00:38:04.819 --> 00:38:06.360 align:middle line:84%
You know, you\'re
not supposed to cry.

00:38:06.360 --> 00:38:07.630 align:middle line:90%
What if somebody sees you cry?

00:38:07.630 --> 00:38:10.250 align:middle line:90%

00:38:10.250 --> 00:38:12.200 align:middle line:84%
It turned out, that
was OK, actually.

00:38:12.200 --> 00:38:14.660 align:middle line:84%
You know, in the end,
everything seemed OK.

00:38:14.660 --> 00:38:15.744 align:middle line:90%
It was OK to cry.

00:38:15.744 --> 00:38:18.160 align:middle line:84%
I just didn\'t care anymore,
and I just let the tears roll,

00:38:18.160 --> 00:38:20.320 align:middle line:90%
and I cried.

00:38:20.320 --> 00:38:23.077 align:middle line:84%
I don\'t know what I was crying
about, but it felt good to cry.

00:38:23.077 --> 00:38:24.660 align:middle line:84%
You know, it had
been quite some time.

00:38:24.660 --> 00:38:38.725 align:middle line:90%

00:38:38.725 --> 00:38:40.210 align:middle line:90%
I had a friend.

00:38:40.210 --> 00:38:42.480 align:middle line:84%
His mother had a lot of
land out in the countryside,

00:38:42.480 --> 00:38:46.240 align:middle line:90%
at the outskirts of Montgomery.

00:38:46.240 --> 00:38:51.459 align:middle line:84%
We used to go out there, target
practice and stuff like that.

00:38:51.459 --> 00:38:53.000 align:middle line:84%
Then I used to ride
around with a gun

00:38:53.000 --> 00:38:58.640 align:middle line:84%
all the time, in the
car with me, you know.

00:38:58.640 --> 00:39:03.420 align:middle line:84%
I remember when it first
happened, I wept over it.

00:39:03.420 --> 00:39:07.160 align:middle line:84%
It\'s very difficult to
conceive of sitting in a car,

00:39:07.160 --> 00:39:10.000 align:middle line:84%
and driving down the highway,
and just suddenly being

00:39:10.000 --> 00:39:13.420 align:middle line:90%
shot randomly.

00:39:13.420 --> 00:39:16.770 align:middle line:84%
One person got killed, one
person got seriously injured,

00:39:16.770 --> 00:39:21.465 align:middle line:84%
and you know, they were the
subject of a lot of publicity

00:39:21.465 --> 00:39:23.630 align:middle line:84%
and whatnot, around here
in the state of Alabama.

00:39:23.630 --> 00:39:29.010 align:middle line:90%

00:39:29.010 --> 00:39:31.950 align:middle line:84%
To this day, Ben says that
he wasn\'t the person who

00:39:31.950 --> 00:39:34.200 align:middle line:90%
pulled the trigger.

00:39:34.200 --> 00:39:36.110 align:middle line:84%
But I know that these
were his friends,

00:39:36.110 --> 00:39:40.300 align:middle line:84%
and if you\'re in company
that does things like that,

00:39:40.300 --> 00:39:42.832 align:middle line:84%
all of you are
responsible for it.

00:39:42.832 --> 00:39:47.210 align:middle line:90%

00:39:47.210 --> 00:39:49.790 align:middle line:90%
I was a stupid kid.

00:39:49.790 --> 00:39:52.860 align:middle line:84%
20 might not seem like
a kid to many people,

00:39:52.860 --> 00:39:57.440 align:middle line:84%
but that\'s 10 years ago for me,
and when I look back, you know,

00:39:57.440 --> 00:40:01.420 align:middle line:90%
I see that I was a kid.

00:40:01.420 --> 00:40:04.100 align:middle line:90%
I wanted to fit in, you know.

00:40:04.100 --> 00:40:05.340 align:middle line:90%
I wanted to fit in.

00:40:05.340 --> 00:40:08.500 align:middle line:84%
I wanted to be looked
up to by people

00:40:08.500 --> 00:40:12.288 align:middle line:84%
and, you know, I wanted to be
accepted in this society here.

00:40:12.288 --> 00:40:19.370 align:middle line:84%
And, you know, many times,
that led me to their trouble.

00:40:19.370 --> 00:40:24.250 align:middle line:90%
I have changed drastically.

00:40:24.250 --> 00:40:28.480 align:middle line:84%
I think, without
that personal work,

00:40:28.480 --> 00:40:31.266 align:middle line:84%
I might have been somebody
crazy like the person

00:40:31.266 --> 00:40:33.435 align:middle line:84%
I was described
in the newspapers

00:40:33.435 --> 00:40:35.370 align:middle line:90%
and whatnot when I got arrested.

00:40:35.370 --> 00:40:38.910 align:middle line:90%

00:40:38.910 --> 00:40:42.890 align:middle line:84%
A ruthless, mindless
animal from Africa.

00:40:42.890 --> 00:40:43.390 align:middle line:90%
Yeah.

00:40:43.390 --> 00:40:48.350 align:middle line:90%

00:40:48.350 --> 00:40:53.610 align:middle line:84%
We can\'t really expect
the men to do anything.

00:40:53.610 --> 00:40:59.190 align:middle line:84%
Our job is, you
know, just to give.

00:40:59.190 --> 00:41:01.280 align:middle line:84%
The results really
are up to the men.

00:41:01.280 --> 00:41:04.520 align:middle line:90%

00:41:04.520 --> 00:41:05.210 align:middle line:90%
It was horrible.

00:41:05.210 --> 00:41:06.910 align:middle line:84%
It was probably the
worst experience

00:41:06.910 --> 00:41:10.160 align:middle line:90%
I\'ve ever been through.

00:41:10.160 --> 00:41:12.800 align:middle line:84%
I spent 8 and 1/2 years on
death row, and this was harder.

00:41:12.800 --> 00:41:15.690 align:middle line:90%

00:41:15.690 --> 00:41:20.420 align:middle line:84%
All the stuff that\'s buried down
deep, they come up gradually.

00:41:20.420 --> 00:41:22.310 align:middle line:84%
And most of them
are small things,

00:41:22.310 --> 00:41:24.950 align:middle line:84%
and you can deal with them, you
recognize them, you look at it,

00:41:24.950 --> 00:41:27.100 align:middle line:90%
and you move on.

00:41:27.100 --> 00:41:30.310 align:middle line:84%
But I never felt anything
like that, that fifth day.

00:41:30.310 --> 00:41:34.430 align:middle line:90%

00:41:34.430 --> 00:41:37.740 align:middle line:84%
It was hard to keep
composure, stay on the mat.

00:41:37.740 --> 00:41:41.100 align:middle line:90%
I wanted to jump and run bad.

00:41:41.100 --> 00:41:45.380 align:middle line:84%
I\'ve always justified some of
my behavior during that crime,

00:41:45.380 --> 00:41:47.940 align:middle line:84%
and on day five, I just
couldn\'t get away from myself.

00:41:47.940 --> 00:41:49.220 align:middle line:90%
I had to actually see it.

00:41:49.220 --> 00:41:51.940 align:middle line:90%

00:41:51.940 --> 00:41:55.170 align:middle line:84%
Things don\'t just
happen, and your behavior

00:41:55.170 --> 00:41:58.440 align:middle line:84%
causes the actions that you
get into, so I am guilty.

00:41:58.440 --> 00:42:01.360 align:middle line:90%

00:42:01.360 --> 00:42:04.470 align:middle line:84%
I\'m guilty of the crime,
whether I hit the man, whether I

00:42:04.470 --> 00:42:06.430 align:middle line:84%
stabbed the man, whether
I cut the man, which

00:42:06.430 --> 00:42:08.550 align:middle line:84%
I didn\'t do any of
those, but I\'m just

00:42:08.550 --> 00:42:10.041 align:middle line:90%
as guilty as the ones that did.

00:42:10.041 --> 00:42:12.870 align:middle line:90%

00:42:12.870 --> 00:42:14.650 align:middle line:84%
It hit places in me
that I didn\'t even

00:42:14.650 --> 00:42:16.440 align:middle line:90%
know was there anymore.

00:42:16.440 --> 00:42:18.697 align:middle line:84%
Places like your
first child, when

00:42:18.697 --> 00:42:20.530 align:middle line:84%
he gets old enough to
talk, and he looks you

00:42:20.530 --> 00:42:23.150 align:middle line:84%
straight in the eye, and he
tells you, I love you, daddy.

00:42:23.150 --> 00:42:26.010 align:middle line:84%
And you know the first time, he
understands what he\'s saying,

00:42:26.010 --> 00:42:27.490 align:middle line:90%
and he means it.

00:42:27.490 --> 00:42:29.390 align:middle line:90%
Those kind of places in you.

00:42:29.390 --> 00:42:31.630 align:middle line:84%
And after 16 years of
being locked up in here,

00:42:31.630 --> 00:42:34.795 align:middle line:84%
I wasn\'t sure there were any
places like that in me anymore.

00:42:34.795 --> 00:42:40.430 align:middle line:84%
The in breath, and
the out breath.

00:42:40.430 --> 00:42:42.790 align:middle line:84%
That\'s why they give a
10-day course instead of you

00:42:42.790 --> 00:42:47.170 align:middle line:84%
come in and sit for four to
six hours a day and go home.

00:42:47.170 --> 00:42:47.920 align:middle line:90%
Because, no.

00:42:47.920 --> 00:42:50.820 align:middle line:84%
They want you there long
enough that you actually

00:42:50.820 --> 00:42:53.050 align:middle line:90%
deal with your stuff.

00:42:53.050 --> 00:43:00.700 align:middle line:84%
Letting the thoughts go on
the awareness of the breath.

00:43:00.700 --> 00:43:03.020 align:middle line:84%
I believe that Grady
Bankhead is someone

00:43:03.020 --> 00:43:07.200 align:middle line:84%
who is not going to be a threat
to society his entire life, who

00:43:07.200 --> 00:43:12.050 align:middle line:84%
doesn\'t have to be incarcerated
or imprisoned his entire life

00:43:12.050 --> 00:43:14.530 align:middle line:84%
to be appropriately punished
for the crime he committed.

00:43:14.530 --> 00:43:17.830 align:middle line:90%

00:43:17.830 --> 00:43:21.540 align:middle line:84%
I tend to disfavor these
sentences that have

00:43:21.540 --> 00:43:23.172 align:middle line:90%
hopelessness as a framework.

00:43:23.172 --> 00:43:26.010 align:middle line:90%

00:43:26.010 --> 00:43:28.610 align:middle line:84%
But I guess we start
with the premise

00:43:28.610 --> 00:43:30.650 align:middle line:84%
that, where there\'s
light, there is hope,

00:43:30.650 --> 00:43:32.490 align:middle line:84%
and if we can get to
that point, there\'ll

00:43:32.490 --> 00:43:36.090 align:middle line:84%
be something we can do about
that that will expose more

00:43:36.090 --> 00:43:38.590 align:middle line:84%
of this person\'s humanity in
a way that the rest of society

00:43:38.590 --> 00:43:39.571 align:middle line:90%
says, oh, you\'re right.

00:43:39.571 --> 00:43:40.445 align:middle line:90%
That\'s a human being.

00:43:40.445 --> 00:43:42.440 align:middle line:84%
We shouldn\'t just
give up on them.

00:43:42.440 --> 00:43:49.100 align:middle line:90%

00:43:49.100 --> 00:43:51.600 align:middle line:84%
I thought my biggest fear
was growing old and dying

00:43:51.600 --> 00:43:54.020 align:middle line:90%
in prison.

00:43:54.020 --> 00:43:56.950 align:middle line:84%
In truth, my biggest fear
was growing old and not

00:43:56.950 --> 00:43:57.615 align:middle line:90%
knowing myself.

00:43:57.615 --> 00:44:05.410 align:middle line:90%

00:44:05.410 --> 00:44:07.170 align:middle line:84%
So this is the
technique of Vipassana

00:44:07.170 --> 00:44:11.570 align:middle line:84%
is learning to observe the
sensations in the body.

00:44:11.570 --> 00:44:17.285 align:middle line:90%

00:44:17.285 --> 00:44:19.660 align:middle line:84%
We might be walking down the
street, and we meet someone,

00:44:19.660 --> 00:44:20.975 align:middle line:84%
and they say, well, how
are you today Harry,

00:44:20.975 --> 00:44:22.365 align:middle line:84%
and Harry says, oh,
I\'m feeling great.

00:44:22.365 --> 00:44:23.489 align:middle line:90%
You know, I feel wonderful.

00:44:23.489 --> 00:44:26.100 align:middle line:90%

00:44:26.100 --> 00:44:28.140 align:middle line:84%
Walk a little further,
and you meet Sally.

00:44:28.140 --> 00:44:29.890 align:middle line:84%
And then Sally says,
oh, I\'m so depressed.

00:44:29.890 --> 00:44:32.100 align:middle line:84%
You know, I\'m
frustrated, and so on.

00:44:32.100 --> 00:44:33.660 align:middle line:84%
Both of those people
said they were

00:44:33.660 --> 00:44:38.945 align:middle line:84%
feeling frustrated
or happy, but how do

00:44:38.945 --> 00:44:41.350 align:middle line:90%
they experience those emotions.

00:44:41.350 --> 00:44:45.690 align:middle line:84%
They are literally feeling
the sensations on the body.

00:44:45.690 --> 00:44:49.560 align:middle line:84%
And the old habit pattern is
to react to those sensations.

00:44:49.560 --> 00:44:52.200 align:middle line:90%

00:44:52.200 --> 00:44:58.470 align:middle line:84%
But in Vipassana, you learn just
to observe those sensations,

00:44:58.470 --> 00:45:01.524 align:middle line:84%
because that\'s what they really
are, and not react to them.

00:45:01.524 --> 00:45:04.250 align:middle line:90%

00:45:04.250 --> 00:45:12.050 align:middle line:84%
That day that I was sitting
and straight meditating,

00:45:12.050 --> 00:45:13.690 align:middle line:84%
I don\'t want to
look at anything.

00:45:13.690 --> 00:45:15.280 align:middle line:90%
I\'m just straight meditating.

00:45:15.280 --> 00:45:19.173 align:middle line:84%
Even at the time we had a break,
I\'m going, sitting on my bed,

00:45:19.173 --> 00:45:20.922 align:middle line:84%
I didn\'t want to do
anything but meditate.

00:45:20.922 --> 00:45:26.660 align:middle line:90%

00:45:26.660 --> 00:45:30.370 align:middle line:84%
I dreamed about my daughter the
third night I was in Vipassana.

00:45:30.370 --> 00:45:34.200 align:middle line:90%

00:45:34.200 --> 00:45:37.202 align:middle line:84%
And I still want to just
block that out my life.

00:45:37.202 --> 00:45:39.160 align:middle line:84%
You know, I didn\'t want
to deal with this here.

00:45:39.160 --> 00:45:40.510 align:middle line:90%
My daughter, dead?

00:45:40.510 --> 00:45:42.820 align:middle line:90%
This is my baby girl.

00:45:42.820 --> 00:45:46.302 align:middle line:84%
You know, it\'s like, I\'m
going to put this out.

00:45:46.302 --> 00:45:48.260 align:middle line:84%
My baby in a casket, I\'m
going to put this out,

00:45:48.260 --> 00:45:49.580 align:middle line:90%
block this away.

00:45:49.580 --> 00:45:51.720 align:middle line:84%
I\'m not going to
deal with this yet.

00:45:51.720 --> 00:45:53.332 align:middle line:90%
[INAUDIBLE] Vipassana.

00:45:53.332 --> 00:45:56.158 align:middle line:90%

00:45:56.158 --> 00:46:00.400 align:middle line:84%
When I told the teacher about
it, he was like, that\'s good,

00:46:00.400 --> 00:46:01.300 align:middle line:90%
Edward.

00:46:01.300 --> 00:46:02.833 align:middle line:90%
You\'re dealing with it.

00:46:02.833 --> 00:46:07.670 align:middle line:84%
Whatever sensations you
experience on the way.

00:46:07.670 --> 00:46:11.090 align:middle line:84%
He was the head of a
gang within the facility,

00:46:11.090 --> 00:46:14.855 align:middle line:84%
and was quite feared and
respected in that way.

00:46:14.855 --> 00:46:17.900 align:middle line:90%

00:46:17.900 --> 00:46:22.355 align:middle line:84%
He came to me and he had
so much pain in his face.

00:46:22.355 --> 00:46:24.280 align:middle line:84%
He says, I don\'t know
if I can do this.

00:46:24.280 --> 00:46:25.894 align:middle line:90%
I\'m a really angry man.

00:46:25.894 --> 00:46:30.240 align:middle line:90%

00:46:30.240 --> 00:46:37.270 align:middle line:84%
And it has a little apparatus on
the playground, like a bridge.

00:46:37.270 --> 00:46:39.810 align:middle line:84%
And a girlfriend of hers
was playing on the bridge,

00:46:39.810 --> 00:46:41.450 align:middle line:90%
and she knocked Ebony out.

00:46:41.450 --> 00:46:44.140 align:middle line:90%
She hit her head.

00:46:44.140 --> 00:46:47.470 align:middle line:84%
And so, when she hit her head,
and she went into hospital,

00:46:47.470 --> 00:46:51.070 align:middle line:84%
I think she stayed in a couple
of days before she passed.

00:46:51.070 --> 00:46:53.865 align:middle line:84%
So she died from that,
from falling off.

00:46:53.865 --> 00:46:57.645 align:middle line:90%

00:46:57.645 --> 00:47:02.720 align:middle line:84%
She was standing in front
of me with a white dress on.

00:47:02.720 --> 00:47:04.950 align:middle line:84%
She laid in my arms and
said, dad, it\'s all right.

00:47:04.950 --> 00:47:07.960 align:middle line:90%

00:47:07.960 --> 00:47:10.415 align:middle line:84%
I accept the fact that she\'s
in a whole other place,

00:47:10.415 --> 00:47:13.630 align:middle line:90%
but she\'ll always be with me.

00:47:13.630 --> 00:47:16.170 align:middle line:90%
She\'ll always be with me.

00:47:16.170 --> 00:47:18.825 align:middle line:84%
And that was a lot of stress
lifted above me, with that.

00:47:18.825 --> 00:47:21.560 align:middle line:90%

00:47:21.560 --> 00:47:26.220 align:middle line:84%
All that pain in his face was
gone, and it was just clear.

00:47:26.220 --> 00:47:30.010 align:middle line:84%
His eyes were brighter, and the
whole countenance of his face

00:47:30.010 --> 00:47:33.080 align:middle line:90%
was happier, and he was lighter.

00:47:33.080 --> 00:47:39.500 align:middle line:90%

00:47:39.500 --> 00:47:41.986 align:middle line:84%
I didn\'t believe this method
was going to work, though.

00:47:41.986 --> 00:47:44.334 align:middle line:84%
To be honest with you, at
first, I was like, man,

00:47:44.334 --> 00:47:45.375 align:middle line:90%
this isn\'t going to work.

00:47:45.375 --> 00:47:47.250 align:middle line:84%
There\'s nothing that\'s
going to work forever.

00:47:47.250 --> 00:47:48.760 align:middle line:90%
This isn\'t.

00:47:48.760 --> 00:47:52.341 align:middle line:84%
I didn\'t believe it was
going to work, but it worked.

00:47:52.341 --> 00:47:52.840 align:middle line:90%
It worked.

00:47:52.840 --> 00:47:53.430 align:middle line:90%
It really did.

00:47:53.430 --> 00:47:58.140 align:middle line:90%

00:47:58.140 --> 00:48:02.120 align:middle line:84%
The final day, after our group
sitting and instructions,

00:48:02.120 --> 00:48:05.090 align:middle line:90%
we break Noble Silence.

00:48:05.090 --> 00:48:06.520 align:middle line:90%
I am proud of our group.

00:48:06.520 --> 00:48:09.645 align:middle line:84%
I am so proud to call
them my Dhamma Brothers.

00:48:09.645 --> 00:48:19.480 align:middle line:90%

00:48:19.480 --> 00:48:22.430 align:middle line:84%
Going back out into the
population will be difficult,

00:48:22.430 --> 00:48:24.260 align:middle line:84%
and obviously I
can\'t speak to that.

00:48:24.260 --> 00:48:27.550 align:middle line:90%

00:48:27.550 --> 00:48:29.790 align:middle line:84%
As you all know, what
we\'ve created here

00:48:29.790 --> 00:48:34.640 align:middle line:84%
is a little monastery,
and it\'s very protective.

00:48:34.640 --> 00:48:39.010 align:middle line:84%
But when you go outside,
as you all well know,

00:48:39.010 --> 00:48:41.780 align:middle line:90%
it\'s very different.

00:48:41.780 --> 00:48:44.400 align:middle line:84%
There are some men
that really get it.

00:48:44.400 --> 00:48:47.210 align:middle line:84%
You can just sense that
these guys are really

00:48:47.210 --> 00:48:48.440 align:middle line:90%
going to get it.

00:48:48.440 --> 00:48:51.210 align:middle line:90%
Others will certainly benefit.

00:48:51.210 --> 00:48:53.304 align:middle line:84%
And others will also
play games with you

00:48:53.304 --> 00:48:54.470 align:middle line:90%
right throughout the course.

00:48:54.470 --> 00:48:55.150 align:middle line:90%
And we had that.

00:48:55.150 --> 00:48:56.860 align:middle line:84%
We had a couple
of young guys who

00:48:56.860 --> 00:48:59.640 align:middle line:84%
didn\'t want to play
along with the rules.

00:48:59.640 --> 00:49:01.354 align:middle line:90%
But even they benefited.

00:49:01.354 --> 00:49:02.342 align:middle line:90%
I made it.

00:49:02.342 --> 00:49:03.330 align:middle line:90%
I told you.

00:49:03.330 --> 00:49:04.312 align:middle line:90%
I know you would.

00:49:04.312 --> 00:49:04.812 align:middle line:90%
You enjoy?

00:49:04.812 --> 00:49:10.750 align:middle line:90%

00:49:10.750 --> 00:49:12.640 align:middle line:84%
Once they graduate,
they not only

00:49:12.640 --> 00:49:17.720 align:middle line:84%
graduate with skills, and
techniques, and values,

00:49:17.720 --> 00:49:21.036 align:middle line:84%
but they also graduate with
a sense of accomplishment.

00:49:21.036 --> 00:49:22.060 align:middle line:90%
We had a great group.

00:49:22.060 --> 00:49:22.560 align:middle line:90%
Yeah.

00:49:22.560 --> 00:49:23.060 align:middle line:90%
Great group.

00:49:23.060 --> 00:49:25.140 align:middle line:90%
Yeah.

00:49:25.140 --> 00:49:28.150 align:middle line:84%
For a lot of the
inmates, that\'s something

00:49:28.150 --> 00:49:31.286 align:middle line:84%
that they\'re feeling for the
first time in their lives.

00:49:31.286 --> 00:49:34.500 align:middle line:90%

00:49:34.500 --> 00:49:37.270 align:middle line:84%
One of the things that we missed
in here so much, that I missed,

00:49:37.270 --> 00:49:38.840 align:middle line:90%
personally, is bonding.

00:49:38.840 --> 00:49:43.240 align:middle line:84%
Because in here, away from,
say, the personal setting, man,

00:49:43.240 --> 00:49:45.760 align:middle line:84%
it\'s unusual for guys
to go around hugging

00:49:45.760 --> 00:49:49.930 align:middle line:84%
each other and whatnot,
shaking hands, and touching.

00:49:49.930 --> 00:49:51.410 align:middle line:90%
We\'re human being, you know?

00:49:51.410 --> 00:49:54.110 align:middle line:90%
These are things that we miss.

00:49:54.110 --> 00:49:56.570 align:middle line:84%
With this next group, it\'s
going to grow even bigger.

00:49:56.570 --> 00:49:58.370 align:middle line:84%
The I love you will
be even bigger.

00:49:58.370 --> 00:50:00.410 align:middle line:84%
We have it there, so
that\'s something very big.

00:50:00.410 --> 00:50:01.660 align:middle line:90%
That\'s something so important.

00:50:01.660 --> 00:50:08.326 align:middle line:90%

00:50:08.326 --> 00:50:21.799 align:middle line:90%
[CHIMING]

00:50:21.799 --> 00:50:23.620 align:middle line:90%

00:50:23.620 --> 00:50:25.287 align:middle line:84%
I had mixed emotions
when I heard

00:50:25.287 --> 00:50:26.495 align:middle line:90%
them speak at the graduation.

00:50:26.495 --> 00:50:29.070 align:middle line:90%

00:50:29.070 --> 00:50:32.090 align:middle line:90%
Part of it was, is it real.

00:50:32.090 --> 00:50:33.350 align:middle line:90%
Friends, family.

00:50:33.350 --> 00:50:38.980 align:middle line:84%
It\'s so wonderful to see you all
here, and to witness history,

00:50:38.980 --> 00:50:40.880 align:middle line:90%
and be a part of it, and just--

00:50:40.880 --> 00:50:42.855 align:middle line:84%
Part of it was, man,
this is awesome.

00:50:42.855 --> 00:50:43.570 align:middle line:90%

00:50:43.570 --> 00:50:45.770 align:middle line:84%
The heartache and,
you know, dealing

00:50:45.770 --> 00:50:49.290 align:middle line:84%
with a maximum security,
and the type of time

00:50:49.290 --> 00:50:51.850 align:middle line:84%
that the individuals
have on their mind.

00:50:51.850 --> 00:50:55.340 align:middle line:90%
We exercise the body with steel.

00:50:55.340 --> 00:50:56.820 align:middle line:90%
We run.

00:50:56.820 --> 00:50:59.740 align:middle line:84%
But no one taught us how
to exercise the mind.

00:50:59.740 --> 00:51:01.220 align:middle line:90%
It was very moving.

00:51:01.220 --> 00:51:04.640 align:middle line:84%
I just hope and pray that it
really affected them in the way

00:51:04.640 --> 00:51:05.700 align:middle line:90%
that they said.

00:51:05.700 --> 00:51:09.480 align:middle line:84%
And I just, I think
about 2,500 years ago,

00:51:09.480 --> 00:51:12.640 align:middle line:84%
and today, and
whatever the universe,

00:51:12.640 --> 00:51:15.480 align:middle line:84%
Dhamma, that it took
to bring this about,

00:51:15.480 --> 00:51:18.380 align:middle line:90%
and all this movement.

00:51:18.380 --> 00:51:20.490 align:middle line:84%
I just feel really
blessed, and I thank

00:51:20.490 --> 00:51:22.720 align:middle line:90%
y\'all for the opportunity.

00:51:22.720 --> 00:51:26.090 align:middle line:84%
We have a term here that we
use, fake it \'til you make it.

00:51:26.090 --> 00:51:28.500 align:middle line:90%
That\'s a question I have here.

00:51:28.500 --> 00:51:30.000 align:middle line:84%
You know, is this
something they can

00:51:30.000 --> 00:51:32.710 align:middle line:84%
fake to get something
positive in their file

00:51:32.710 --> 00:51:35.200 align:middle line:84%
to help them make parole,
or is this something

00:51:35.200 --> 00:51:36.870 align:middle line:90%
that\'s truly life-changing?

00:51:36.870 --> 00:51:40.690 align:middle line:84%
And, you know, it\'s impossible
to gauge after a month, two

00:51:40.690 --> 00:51:42.117 align:middle line:90%
month, or a year.

00:51:42.117 --> 00:51:43.700 align:middle line:84%
You know, show me
five years from now.

00:51:43.700 --> 00:51:45.150 align:middle line:84%
Show me once you\'re
out that you\'ve really

00:51:45.150 --> 00:51:46.000 align:middle line:90%
changed your life.

00:51:46.000 --> 00:51:48.416 align:middle line:84%
At that point, I\'ll be able
to say, yeah, this is awesome.

00:51:48.416 --> 00:51:52.820 align:middle line:90%

00:51:52.820 --> 00:51:55.280 align:middle line:84%
I would hope that
the men can really

00:51:55.280 --> 00:52:02.440 align:middle line:84%
rise above the prison culture,
and the sense of retaliation.

00:52:02.440 --> 00:52:06.090 align:middle line:84%
It was interesting, you
know, when some of the men

00:52:06.090 --> 00:52:09.540 align:middle line:84%
come to you, they\'re clearly
grappling with feelings

00:52:09.540 --> 00:52:13.526 align:middle line:90%
of revenge and hatred.

00:52:13.526 --> 00:52:15.900 align:middle line:84%
They were sick for the last
four days, throwing up blood,

00:52:15.900 --> 00:52:17.290 align:middle line:90%
and they didn\'t get any help.

00:52:17.290 --> 00:52:20.800 align:middle line:84%
I had to go tell
these gang members

00:52:20.800 --> 00:52:24.570 align:middle line:90%
that I was part of, hey, man.

00:52:24.570 --> 00:52:26.910 align:middle line:90%
This isn\'t me anymore.

00:52:26.910 --> 00:52:31.500 align:middle line:84%
You go ahead and go your way,
and I\'m going to go my way.

00:52:31.500 --> 00:52:34.070 align:middle line:84%
And hoping I don\'t catch any
repercussions behind that.

00:52:34.070 --> 00:52:38.070 align:middle line:90%

00:52:38.070 --> 00:52:40.502 align:middle line:84%
This is how I know
Vipassana works.

00:52:40.502 --> 00:52:46.170 align:middle line:84%
When they call me a Tom,
call me the nigger word,

00:52:46.170 --> 00:52:49.020 align:middle line:84%
breathe a little
bit, and I was cool.

00:52:49.020 --> 00:52:51.820 align:middle line:90%

00:52:51.820 --> 00:52:54.350 align:middle line:84%
Administration
didn\'t teach me that.

00:52:54.350 --> 00:52:56.420 align:middle line:90%
Vipassana taught me that.

00:52:56.420 --> 00:53:00.680 align:middle line:90%

00:53:00.680 --> 00:53:03.712 align:middle line:84%
I\'ve seen a change in him
lately as far as, you know,

00:53:03.712 --> 00:53:06.050 align:middle line:90%
he don\'t hang out a pocket.

00:53:06.050 --> 00:53:07.630 align:middle line:84%
If you\'re on to him
about something,

00:53:07.630 --> 00:53:09.421 align:middle line:84%
he\'s usually trying to
handle his business,

00:53:09.421 --> 00:53:11.580 align:middle line:84%
so I think I\'ve seen
a good change in him,

00:53:11.580 --> 00:53:13.930 align:middle line:84%
and it might be dealing
with this program, I guess.

00:53:13.930 --> 00:53:18.730 align:middle line:90%

00:53:18.730 --> 00:53:19.750 align:middle line:90%
Oh.

00:53:19.750 --> 00:53:22.060 align:middle line:90%
I received a call.

00:53:22.060 --> 00:53:28.050 align:middle line:84%
He said, when you see me, you\'re
going to see a new Edward.

00:53:28.050 --> 00:53:31.290 align:middle line:84%
So I\'m just all excited, and
I can\'t wait to see my son.

00:53:31.290 --> 00:53:33.940 align:middle line:90%

00:53:33.940 --> 00:53:36.170 align:middle line:90%
He was all smiles.

00:53:36.170 --> 00:53:37.920 align:middle line:84%
I didn\'t see any
tension marks, because I

00:53:37.920 --> 00:53:39.220 align:middle line:90%
can tell when he\'s stressed.

00:53:39.220 --> 00:53:41.580 align:middle line:90%
All this just rolls up.

00:53:41.580 --> 00:53:43.420 align:middle line:90%
And he was just shining.

00:53:43.420 --> 00:53:45.180 align:middle line:90%
Gave me a big hug.

00:53:45.180 --> 00:53:46.548 align:middle line:90%
And I looked.

00:53:46.548 --> 00:53:48.042 align:middle line:90%
He said, I feel so good.

00:53:48.042 --> 00:53:58.267 align:middle line:90%

00:53:58.267 --> 00:54:00.100 align:middle line:84%
I don\'t ever look to
get out of this prison.

00:54:00.100 --> 00:54:04.290 align:middle line:90%

00:54:04.290 --> 00:54:06.130 align:middle line:84%
Or they may transfer
me to another prison,

00:54:06.130 --> 00:54:07.380 align:middle line:90%
but it\'s still another prison.

00:54:07.380 --> 00:54:10.610 align:middle line:90%
And that\'s going to be my home.

00:54:10.610 --> 00:54:12.780 align:middle line:84%
So I\'ve only got one
thing on my agenda.

00:54:12.780 --> 00:54:16.540 align:middle line:90%

00:54:16.540 --> 00:54:20.920 align:middle line:84%
When I get up there and
I see my God when I die,

00:54:20.920 --> 00:54:23.850 align:middle line:84%
whatever I\'ve got in my
bag when I get there,

00:54:23.850 --> 00:54:27.710 align:middle line:84%
I want to be excited and
happy about showing it to him.

00:54:27.710 --> 00:54:29.980 align:middle line:84%
I don\'t want to
be ashamed of it.

00:54:29.980 --> 00:54:32.370 align:middle line:84%
And Vipassana\'s the only way
I know to accomplish that.

00:54:32.370 --> 00:54:38.060 align:middle line:90%

00:54:38.060 --> 00:54:42.220 align:middle line:84%
After experiencing the
first group coming through,

00:54:42.220 --> 00:54:46.240 align:middle line:84%
and noticing how
faithful the guys are

00:54:46.240 --> 00:54:50.412 align:middle line:84%
to come to meditation
each morning,

00:54:50.412 --> 00:54:52.120 align:middle line:84%
evidently, something\'s
working somewhere.

00:54:52.120 --> 00:54:55.070 align:middle line:90%

00:54:55.070 --> 00:54:59.940 align:middle line:84%
They\'re more relaxed, they\'re
easier to get along with,

00:54:59.940 --> 00:55:01.885 align:middle line:84%
and they don\'t cause
as many problems.

00:55:01.885 --> 00:55:07.433 align:middle line:90%

00:55:07.433 --> 00:55:11.210 align:middle line:84%
To begin with, the daily
sittings were great for us.

00:55:11.210 --> 00:55:15.060 align:middle line:90%

00:55:15.060 --> 00:55:19.760 align:middle line:84%
It gave us an outlet to
commune with each other.

00:55:19.760 --> 00:55:22.270 align:middle line:84%
It also encouraged one
to continue the sit-ins

00:55:22.270 --> 00:55:22.815 align:middle line:90%
on their own.

00:55:22.815 --> 00:55:25.480 align:middle line:90%

00:55:25.480 --> 00:55:28.990 align:middle line:84%
Not everybody gets to
show up every single time,

00:55:28.990 --> 00:55:31.060 align:middle line:90%
but there was the opening.

00:55:31.060 --> 00:55:32.810 align:middle line:84%
There was a room for
us to be able to sit.

00:55:32.810 --> 00:55:37.990 align:middle line:90%

00:55:37.990 --> 00:55:39.685 align:middle line:84%
They, unfortunately,
one day were

00:55:39.685 --> 00:55:41.268 align:middle line:84%
told that we couldn\'t
do them anymore.

00:55:41.268 --> 00:55:48.100 align:middle line:90%

00:55:48.100 --> 00:55:53.060 align:middle line:84%
After the graduation,
people associated

00:55:53.060 --> 00:55:59.890 align:middle line:84%
with traditional religious
programs became threatened.

00:55:59.890 --> 00:56:02.680 align:middle line:84%
The chaplain services could
take the prerogative simply

00:56:02.680 --> 00:56:06.980 align:middle line:84%
to call the commissioner
directly and say,

00:56:06.980 --> 00:56:09.590 align:middle line:84%
these guys are
practicing Buddhism,

00:56:09.590 --> 00:56:13.610 align:middle line:84%
and they\'re turning all
my inmates into Buddhists.

00:56:13.610 --> 00:56:15.774 align:middle line:84%
So therefore, you need
to shut this thing down.

00:56:15.774 --> 00:56:18.190 align:middle line:84%
So then the commissioner turns
around and calls the warden

00:56:18.190 --> 00:56:19.950 align:middle line:84%
and says, you
know, shut it down.

00:56:19.950 --> 00:56:20.947 align:middle line:90%
Shut the program down.

00:56:20.947 --> 00:56:24.360 align:middle line:90%

00:56:24.360 --> 00:56:27.430 align:middle line:84%
You can explain the program
until you\'re blue in the face,

00:56:27.430 --> 00:56:30.285 align:middle line:84%
but it\'s not going to
change their decision.

00:56:30.285 --> 00:56:44.690 align:middle line:90%

00:56:44.690 --> 00:56:46.210 align:middle line:90%
Dear Bruce.

00:56:46.210 --> 00:56:47.970 align:middle line:84%
I understand that
this letter may

00:56:47.970 --> 00:56:50.470 align:middle line:90%
take some time to get to you.

00:56:50.470 --> 00:56:54.310 align:middle line:84%
Please tell everyone
hello for me.

00:56:54.310 --> 00:56:57.580 align:middle line:84%
Four block is now the worst
cell block in Donaldson.

00:56:57.580 --> 00:57:00.210 align:middle line:90%

00:57:00.210 --> 00:57:05.530 align:middle line:84%
Blessed indeed are we who
live among those who hate,

00:57:05.530 --> 00:57:07.030 align:middle line:90%
hating no one.

00:57:07.030 --> 00:57:12.230 align:middle line:84%
Amidst those who hate, let
us dwell without hatred.

00:57:12.230 --> 00:57:16.630 align:middle line:90%

00:57:16.630 --> 00:57:19.010 align:middle line:84%
Please let it be known
that we are always

00:57:19.010 --> 00:57:24.040 align:middle line:84%
delighted to hear from any of
the Donaldson Dhamma Warriors.

00:57:24.040 --> 00:57:25.720 align:middle line:84%
Of course, we are
all disappointed

00:57:25.720 --> 00:57:28.370 align:middle line:84%
you have lost the right to
hold your group sittings.

00:57:28.370 --> 00:57:32.670 align:middle line:84%
I know how much does this
has meant to you all.

00:57:32.670 --> 00:57:35.490 align:middle line:84%
I was encouraged and
impressed that you did not

00:57:35.490 --> 00:57:37.830 align:middle line:84%
express any negativity
about the situation.

00:57:37.830 --> 00:57:41.620 align:middle line:90%

00:57:41.620 --> 00:57:44.890 align:middle line:84%
All the Dhamma Brothers were
hanging in there, for sure.

00:57:44.890 --> 00:57:48.240 align:middle line:84%
Grady, OB, and I
just had a birthday

00:57:48.240 --> 00:57:50.750 align:middle line:90%
on the 6th of September.

00:57:50.750 --> 00:57:56.090 align:middle line:84%
I\'m still sitting morning and
night, as I\'ve always done.

00:57:56.090 --> 00:57:58.230 align:middle line:84%
I will make like a
door and close now.

00:57:58.230 --> 00:58:00.030 align:middle line:90%
Please take care and be careful.

00:58:00.030 --> 00:58:02.450 align:middle line:84%
Be happy, be peaceful,
be liberated.

00:58:02.450 --> 00:58:06.040 align:middle line:90%

00:58:06.040 --> 00:58:08.560 align:middle line:84%
Lately, I have not kept a
regular schedule of sitting.

00:58:08.560 --> 00:58:11.390 align:middle line:90%

00:58:11.390 --> 00:58:13.860 align:middle line:84%
We still meet every
Wednesday under the auspices

00:58:13.860 --> 00:58:16.945 align:middle line:84%
of another scheduled
class in the group room,

00:58:16.945 --> 00:58:18.320 align:middle line:84%
and that gives us
the opportunity

00:58:18.320 --> 00:58:22.206 align:middle line:84%
to share our bond
with each other.

00:58:22.206 --> 00:58:24.080 align:middle line:84%
I wonder what would
happen if we were caught.

00:58:24.080 --> 00:58:33.920 align:middle line:90%

00:58:33.920 --> 00:58:38.947 align:middle line:84%
When I first got here, it was
like, they told me, Ed\'s here.

00:58:38.947 --> 00:58:39.780 align:middle line:90%
I was like, ah, man.

00:58:39.780 --> 00:58:40.920 align:middle line:90%
Where\'s he at?

00:58:40.920 --> 00:58:43.690 align:middle line:84%
Because it was a kind
of big shock to see.

00:58:43.690 --> 00:58:45.750 align:middle line:84%
And when I did see,
I was like, hey.

00:58:45.750 --> 00:58:47.104 align:middle line:90%
Man, are you still meditating?

00:58:47.104 --> 00:58:48.270 align:middle line:90%
That was the first question.

00:58:48.270 --> 00:58:49.590 align:middle line:90%
You still meditating?

00:58:49.590 --> 00:58:50.930 align:middle line:90%
Exactly.

00:58:50.930 --> 00:58:53.630 align:middle line:84%
But before you came
back to this camp,

00:58:53.630 --> 00:58:55.990 align:middle line:90%
I had been going through a lot.

00:58:55.990 --> 00:58:56.760 align:middle line:90%
A lot.

00:58:56.760 --> 00:59:01.930 align:middle line:84%
You know, not being
around the people that

00:59:01.930 --> 00:59:05.240 align:middle line:84%
know what Vipassana means, and
know what I had been through.

00:59:05.240 --> 00:59:06.100 align:middle line:90%
It\'s like a void.

00:59:06.100 --> 00:59:09.010 align:middle line:90%
You know, dealing with myself.

00:59:09.010 --> 00:59:15.090 align:middle line:84%
For me to leave one, Donaldson,
where it\'s just a lot of us,

00:59:15.090 --> 00:59:19.530 align:middle line:84%
to go where there\'s none,
that was a hard transformation

00:59:19.530 --> 00:59:20.916 align:middle line:90%
for me.

00:59:20.916 --> 00:59:23.990 align:middle line:84%
Being able to have
to fight with myself,

00:59:23.990 --> 00:59:27.220 align:middle line:84%
to fight within these
bounds, and allow

00:59:27.220 --> 00:59:30.280 align:middle line:90%
myself to slip like that--

00:59:30.280 --> 00:59:31.920 align:middle line:90%
This too will change.

00:59:31.920 --> 00:59:32.710 align:middle line:90%
You know?

00:59:32.710 --> 00:59:37.480 align:middle line:84%
So don\'t let that break you
down, because you can always

00:59:37.480 --> 00:59:38.135 align:middle line:90%
get it back.

00:59:38.135 --> 00:59:39.760 align:middle line:84%
You can always go
back and get it back.

00:59:39.760 --> 00:59:43.535 align:middle line:84%
So it\'s not to a point to
where it\'s not retrievable.

00:59:43.535 --> 00:59:44.660 align:middle line:90%
You can go back and get it.

00:59:44.660 --> 00:59:54.430 align:middle line:90%

00:59:54.430 --> 00:59:57.620 align:middle line:84%
In order to bring Vipassana
back at this particular time,

00:59:57.620 --> 01:00:00.180 align:middle line:84%
there was a change in
the administration.

01:00:00.180 --> 01:00:02.420 align:middle line:84%
There was also a
change in the wardens

01:00:02.420 --> 01:00:07.030 align:middle line:84%
and a change in the
chaplain services.

01:00:07.030 --> 01:00:08.560 align:middle line:84%
It\'s great to be
back at Donaldson.

01:00:08.560 --> 01:00:09.310 align:middle line:90%
Oh, yeah?

01:00:09.310 --> 01:00:09.810 align:middle line:90%
It is.

01:00:09.810 --> 01:00:11.018 align:middle line:90%
Feels like we\'re coming home.

01:00:11.018 --> 01:00:12.040 align:middle line:90%
Feels like home.

01:00:12.040 --> 01:00:13.940 align:middle line:90%
We missed you all too.

01:00:13.940 --> 01:00:14.440 align:middle line:90%
Yeah?

01:00:14.440 --> 01:00:17.330 align:middle line:90%

01:00:17.330 --> 01:00:19.740 align:middle line:84%
I can only go on
what\'s happening now,

01:00:19.740 --> 01:00:22.000 align:middle line:90%
because I wasn\'t here then.

01:00:22.000 --> 01:00:25.350 align:middle line:84%
And what\'s happening now, I
haven\'t had any opposition.

01:00:25.350 --> 01:00:28.320 align:middle line:84%
That doesn\'t mean I won\'t
have any opposition,

01:00:28.320 --> 01:00:30.730 align:middle line:90%
but I haven\'t had any.

01:00:30.730 --> 01:00:33.905 align:middle line:84%
So when it does, we\'ll just
deal with it accordingly.

01:00:33.905 --> 01:00:40.008 align:middle line:90%

01:00:40.008 --> 01:00:41.460 align:middle line:90%
Hey, guys!

01:00:41.460 --> 01:00:42.695 align:middle line:90%
Hey!

01:00:42.695 --> 01:00:46.320 align:middle line:84%
As I walked down the corridor,
and I saw them lined up,

01:00:46.320 --> 01:00:48.022 align:middle line:84%
a big smile just
came over my face.

01:00:48.022 --> 01:00:51.260 align:middle line:90%

01:00:51.260 --> 01:00:55.241 align:middle line:84%
It was like it was a
real homecoming for me.

01:00:55.241 --> 01:00:55.865 align:middle line:90%
Very emotional.

01:00:55.865 --> 01:00:59.270 align:middle line:90%

01:00:59.270 --> 01:01:02.130 align:middle line:90%
Just very touching.

01:01:02.130 --> 01:01:04.414 align:middle line:84%
Jones and I have the
[INAUDIBLE] distinction

01:01:04.414 --> 01:01:08.887 align:middle line:84%
of the only guys that ever want
to come back into Donaldson.

01:01:08.887 --> 01:01:10.378 align:middle line:90%
All you guys want to get out.

01:01:10.378 --> 01:01:12.880 align:middle line:90%
We want to come back in.

01:01:12.880 --> 01:01:15.210 align:middle line:84%
It is way beyond what
I could have ever

01:01:15.210 --> 01:01:17.030 align:middle line:90%
imagined it to have been.

01:01:17.030 --> 01:01:20.560 align:middle line:84%
Just the responses of the
men, and their deep sense

01:01:20.560 --> 01:01:24.850 align:middle line:84%
of gratitude, and clearly their
connection with the meditation

01:01:24.850 --> 01:01:26.950 align:middle line:84%
technique, and how much
it\'s benefited them.

01:01:26.950 --> 01:01:31.550 align:middle line:90%

01:01:31.550 --> 01:01:35.790 align:middle line:84%
Knowing that the Vipassana
program is secular in nature,

01:01:35.790 --> 01:01:37.336 align:middle line:90%
I always maintained hope.

01:01:37.336 --> 01:01:39.782 align:middle line:90%
How you doing?

01:01:39.782 --> 01:01:40.564 align:middle line:90%
Good to see you.

01:01:40.564 --> 01:01:41.230 align:middle line:90%
Good to see you.

01:01:41.230 --> 01:01:42.970 align:middle line:90%
Thanks for all your letters?

01:01:42.970 --> 01:01:44.794 align:middle line:84%
If you\'re really
interested in treatment,

01:01:44.794 --> 01:01:47.210 align:middle line:84%
and you\'re really committed,
and you want to do treatment,

01:01:47.210 --> 01:01:49.000 align:middle line:84%
then you just have to
go ahead and do it.

01:01:49.000 --> 01:01:52.646 align:middle line:84%
You need to go ahead
and do treatment.

01:01:52.646 --> 01:01:54.622 align:middle line:90%
I let the guys do it.

01:01:54.622 --> 01:01:56.110 align:middle line:90%
Yeah?

01:01:56.110 --> 01:01:58.990 align:middle line:84%
Clearly, in a Correctional
Institution like this,

01:01:58.990 --> 01:02:03.820 align:middle line:84%
there are a lot of different
dynamics that go on.

01:02:03.820 --> 01:02:05.580 align:middle line:84%
I think we just had
to sit back patiently

01:02:05.580 --> 01:02:08.760 align:middle line:84%
and hope that all of that
would settle down to a point

01:02:08.760 --> 01:02:10.230 align:middle line:84%
where we could
come back in again.

01:02:10.230 --> 01:02:13.998 align:middle line:90%

01:02:13.998 --> 01:02:17.030 align:middle line:90%
Little privacy in the toilet.

01:02:17.030 --> 01:02:20.660 align:middle line:84%
Dr. Cavanaugh seized
the opportunity,

01:02:20.660 --> 01:02:21.980 align:middle line:90%
and here we are today.

01:02:21.980 --> 01:02:24.836 align:middle line:90%
So that\'s great.

01:02:24.836 --> 01:02:27.252 align:middle line:90%
I\'m thankful for the practice.

01:02:27.252 --> 01:02:27.752 align:middle line:90%
Yeah.

01:02:27.752 --> 01:02:29.210 align:middle line:90%
Yeah, we\'re keeping it up.

01:02:29.210 --> 01:02:29.995 align:middle line:84%
Me and the other guys,
we\'re keeping it up.

01:02:29.995 --> 01:02:30.900 align:middle line:90%
That\'s what we hear.

01:02:30.900 --> 01:02:31.524 align:middle line:90%
We get letters.

01:02:31.524 --> 01:02:34.870 align:middle line:84%
The case that I\'m in here on,
the murder that I committed,

01:02:34.870 --> 01:02:39.020 align:middle line:90%
occurred on January 12.

01:02:39.020 --> 01:02:41.430 align:middle line:84%
Vipassana a way of
being able to look.

01:02:41.430 --> 01:02:43.810 align:middle line:84%
You know, I look a lot
at the victim\'s family.

01:02:43.810 --> 01:02:48.020 align:middle line:84%
I look a lot at, what do they
experience this time of year.

01:02:48.020 --> 01:02:52.410 align:middle line:84%
Because, you know, they\'ve
got a loved one that\'s

01:02:52.410 --> 01:02:55.150 align:middle line:90%
not present on account of me.

01:02:55.150 --> 01:02:57.100 align:middle line:90%
Pain\'s a fact.

01:02:57.100 --> 01:02:59.460 align:middle line:90%
It\'s going to be.

01:02:59.460 --> 01:03:04.060 align:middle line:84%
Hit me 25 years on it, day for
day, and the pain of that\'s

01:03:04.060 --> 01:03:05.530 align:middle line:90%
with me daily.

01:03:05.530 --> 01:03:06.900 align:middle line:90%
I can\'t get around it.

01:03:06.900 --> 01:03:08.600 align:middle line:90%
I try to shake it.

01:03:08.600 --> 01:03:12.080 align:middle line:84%
I try to do everything
I know to do.

01:03:12.080 --> 01:03:15.990 align:middle line:84%
It\'s true that, when you
start to practice Vipassana,

01:03:15.990 --> 01:03:18.230 align:middle line:90%
you can\'t hide anymore.

01:03:18.230 --> 01:03:20.140 align:middle line:84%
And some people think,
oh, just because I\'m

01:03:20.140 --> 01:03:23.270 align:middle line:84%
doing a 10-day course that
the negativity comes up

01:03:23.270 --> 01:03:26.190 align:middle line:84%
and it passes away,
but really, this

01:03:26.190 --> 01:03:27.880 align:middle line:90%
is the long course of life.

01:03:27.880 --> 01:03:28.527 align:middle line:90%
You know?

01:03:28.527 --> 01:03:29.610 align:middle line:90%
This is a lifelong effort.

01:03:29.610 --> 01:03:33.550 align:middle line:90%

01:03:33.550 --> 01:03:38.170 align:middle line:84%
I got life without
parole, and there\'s

01:03:38.170 --> 01:03:40.510 align:middle line:84%
a strong possibility
that may not ever

01:03:40.510 --> 01:03:42.190 align:middle line:90%
get out of the penitentiary.

01:03:42.190 --> 01:03:46.720 align:middle line:84%
But in all the time I
was in the penitentiary,

01:03:46.720 --> 01:03:48.240 align:middle line:90%
I was seeking to escape.

01:03:48.240 --> 01:03:50.190 align:middle line:90%
I was real violent.

01:03:50.190 --> 01:03:54.590 align:middle line:84%
You know, my life\'s
in constant turmoil.

01:03:54.590 --> 01:03:57.024 align:middle line:90%
I need this.

01:03:57.024 --> 01:03:58.940 align:middle line:84%
Because at a certain
amount of time, you know,

01:03:58.940 --> 01:04:00.790 align:middle line:90%
frustration builds up.

01:04:00.790 --> 01:04:02.580 align:middle line:84%
And this is like a
break from everything.

01:04:02.580 --> 01:04:04.130 align:middle line:90%
This is like freedom.

01:04:04.130 --> 01:04:05.680 align:middle line:84%
You know, like, it\'s
setting me free.

01:04:05.680 --> 01:04:08.820 align:middle line:84%
You know, so I appreciate
you all coming.

01:04:08.820 --> 01:04:11.450 align:middle line:90%

01:04:11.450 --> 01:04:13.550 align:middle line:84%
To me, it\'s probably
the greatest thing

01:04:13.550 --> 01:04:16.560 align:middle line:84%
I\'ve ever done since
I\'ve been incarcerated,

01:04:16.560 --> 01:04:19.240 align:middle line:84%
and I\'ve been incarcerated
a pretty good while.

01:04:19.240 --> 01:04:21.180 align:middle line:84%
Have you been able to
keep up your practice?

01:04:21.180 --> 01:04:21.730 align:middle line:90%
Yeah.

01:04:21.730 --> 01:04:25.999 align:middle line:84%
I do it late at night,
when it\'s real quiet.

01:04:25.999 --> 01:04:27.790 align:middle line:84%
That\'s one of the
problems we have in here.

01:04:27.790 --> 01:04:30.080 align:middle line:84%
There are so many
people in here,

01:04:30.080 --> 01:04:33.080 align:middle line:84%
it\'s hard to find the
time, or the place where

01:04:33.080 --> 01:04:34.400 align:middle line:90%
you have relative quiet.

01:04:34.400 --> 01:04:38.530 align:middle line:90%

01:04:38.530 --> 01:04:40.630 align:middle line:90%
I practice on and off.

01:04:40.630 --> 01:04:43.356 align:middle line:84%
You know, it\'s been
a real struggle,

01:04:43.356 --> 01:04:46.230 align:middle line:84%
you know, me being
in the blocks.

01:04:46.230 --> 01:04:52.910 align:middle line:84%
And then there\'s a lot
goes on within the system.

01:04:52.910 --> 01:04:58.890 align:middle line:84%
And sometimes, I\'m kind of
caught up in the mix of it.

01:04:58.890 --> 01:05:01.234 align:middle line:84%
I\'ve been knowing
[INAUDIBLE] a long time.

01:05:01.234 --> 01:05:02.650 align:middle line:84%
There\'s just certain
things that\'s

01:05:02.650 --> 01:05:05.490 align:middle line:84%
in [INAUDIBLE] that are
not going to leave him,

01:05:05.490 --> 01:05:07.050 align:middle line:90%
but he\'s a changed person.

01:05:07.050 --> 01:05:08.160 align:middle line:90%
Totally changed person.

01:05:08.160 --> 01:05:10.360 align:middle line:84%
Because right about now,
usually, [INAUDIBLE]

01:05:10.360 --> 01:05:12.756 align:middle line:84%
would be locked up in
segregation somewhere.

01:05:12.756 --> 01:05:15.140 align:middle line:84%
You know, doing time
in seg for something

01:05:15.140 --> 01:05:18.350 align:middle line:84%
that he-- some
rule or regulation

01:05:18.350 --> 01:05:21.380 align:middle line:90%
that he has violated.

01:05:21.380 --> 01:05:25.480 align:middle line:84%
Since I did the 10 days, you
know, it helped me a lot.

01:05:25.480 --> 01:05:28.790 align:middle line:84%
It humbled me a lot,
you know, and helped

01:05:28.790 --> 01:05:33.650 align:middle line:84%
me to deal with situations
better than I used to,

01:05:33.650 --> 01:05:38.540 align:middle line:84%
and like I said,
I\'m thankful for it,

01:05:38.540 --> 01:05:43.160 align:middle line:84%
and hopefully the one day we
can get it within the prison

01:05:43.160 --> 01:05:45.032 align:middle line:84%
system, because I
feel it\'ll be a help

01:05:45.032 --> 01:05:47.850 align:middle line:84%
for a lot of
individuals, you know,

01:05:47.850 --> 01:05:50.660 align:middle line:84%
and then, by the
system being bound

01:05:50.660 --> 01:05:53.330 align:middle line:84%
with a lot of
younger guys, I feel

01:05:53.330 --> 01:05:55.550 align:middle line:90%
they need something like this.

01:05:55.550 --> 01:05:56.650 align:middle line:90%
You know?

01:05:56.650 --> 01:05:59.700 align:middle line:84%
And I wish I could\'ve
gotten a hold of Vipassana

01:05:59.700 --> 01:06:06.900 align:middle line:84%
in my early years, than now,
but now\'s still a big help.

01:06:06.900 --> 01:06:08.970 align:middle line:90%
I\'ve seen drastic changes.

01:06:08.970 --> 01:06:13.650 align:middle line:84%
Rick handles things
far more better.

01:06:13.650 --> 01:06:16.730 align:middle line:84%
I can say we were kind
of on the same page.

01:06:16.730 --> 01:06:19.470 align:middle line:84%
I act just as manic
sometimes as he does,

01:06:19.470 --> 01:06:21.020 align:middle line:84%
but he\'s way ahead
of me, and I\'ve

01:06:21.020 --> 01:06:26.510 align:middle line:84%
got to catch up when it comes
to handling certain situations.

01:06:26.510 --> 01:06:33.050 align:middle line:84%
Grady, nowhere near as
angry as he used to be.

01:06:33.050 --> 01:06:36.070 align:middle line:84%
The guy asked me, he said,
uh, you getting a visit today?

01:06:36.070 --> 01:06:38.730 align:middle line:90%
Well, today\'s not visiting day.

01:06:38.730 --> 01:06:41.130 align:middle line:84%
I said, yeah, I\'m
getting a visit today.

01:06:41.130 --> 01:06:42.980 align:middle line:84%
I hadn\'t had a visit
in three years.

01:06:42.980 --> 01:06:45.511 align:middle line:84%
You all coming back
is a visit to me.

01:06:45.511 --> 01:06:47.400 align:middle line:90%
You know?

01:06:47.400 --> 01:06:47.910 align:middle line:90%
I\'m glad.

01:06:47.910 --> 01:06:50.570 align:middle line:90%
I\'m happy.

01:06:50.570 --> 01:06:51.970 align:middle line:90%
And don\'t work me too hard.

01:06:51.970 --> 01:06:55.070 align:middle line:90%

01:06:55.070 --> 01:06:58.260 align:middle line:90%
You gotta work yourself out.

01:06:58.260 --> 01:07:02.680 align:middle line:84%
They had a newscast on, and
the guys sitting around the TV

01:07:02.680 --> 01:07:05.230 align:middle line:84%
said-- one day, we
were listening to it

01:07:05.230 --> 01:07:08.090 align:middle line:84%
and they said, Grady,
that\'s your daughter they\'re

01:07:08.090 --> 01:07:11.050 align:middle line:90%
talking about.

01:07:11.050 --> 01:07:13.671 align:middle line:84%
And one of the guys that was
getting the Mobile paper,

01:07:13.671 --> 01:07:14.920 align:middle line:90%
there was an article in there.

01:07:14.920 --> 01:07:18.140 align:middle line:90%
Sure enough, it was my daughter.

01:07:18.140 --> 01:07:20.012 align:middle line:90%
And she had been murdered.

01:07:20.012 --> 01:07:20.970 align:middle line:90%
That\'s how I found out.

01:07:20.970 --> 01:07:22.350 align:middle line:90%
I read it in the paper.

01:07:22.350 --> 01:07:25.230 align:middle line:90%

01:07:25.230 --> 01:07:28.250 align:middle line:84%
My first reaction was,
boy if I could just

01:07:28.250 --> 01:07:29.600 align:middle line:90%
get my hands on this cat.

01:07:29.600 --> 01:07:32.350 align:middle line:90%

01:07:32.350 --> 01:07:35.330 align:middle line:84%
But that only lasted
a few minutes,

01:07:35.330 --> 01:07:38.210 align:middle line:84%
and it\'s like, what are
you talking about, Grady?

01:07:38.210 --> 01:07:41.030 align:middle line:90%
I can\'t feel that way.

01:07:41.030 --> 01:07:43.080 align:middle line:84%
I don\'t like
anything that he did.

01:07:43.080 --> 01:07:43.910 align:middle line:90%
I don\'t.

01:07:43.910 --> 01:07:45.610 align:middle line:90%
I don\'t.

01:07:45.610 --> 01:07:48.250 align:middle line:84%
It makes me physically
ill to think about what

01:07:48.250 --> 01:07:49.411 align:middle line:90%
my daughter went through.

01:07:49.411 --> 01:07:52.300 align:middle line:90%

01:07:52.300 --> 01:07:54.620 align:middle line:84%
But I\'ve got to
still love the guy.

01:07:54.620 --> 01:07:57.660 align:middle line:84%
He\'s still a human, just
like the rest of us.

01:07:57.660 --> 01:07:59.120 align:middle line:90%
I don\'t like what he did.

01:07:59.120 --> 01:08:03.390 align:middle line:84%
I hope he can\'t ever do that
to anybody else ever again,

01:08:03.390 --> 01:08:06.400 align:middle line:90%
but he\'s a human being.

01:08:06.400 --> 01:08:08.290 align:middle line:84%
And if I believe
anything about what

01:08:08.290 --> 01:08:12.270 align:middle line:84%
I\'ve said that I believe
in, then I love him too.

01:08:12.270 --> 01:08:15.540 align:middle line:90%

01:08:15.540 --> 01:08:17.279 align:middle line:90%
It\'s a choice.

01:08:17.279 --> 01:08:21.240 align:middle line:84%
Vipassana gave me the right
to make my own choice.

01:08:21.240 --> 01:08:23.340 align:middle line:84%
I can choose how I
want to react to this.

01:08:23.340 --> 01:08:24.500 align:middle line:90%
I don\'t have to just react.

01:08:24.500 --> 01:08:27.086 align:middle line:90%

01:08:27.086 --> 01:08:28.960 align:middle line:84%
I can\'t even tell you
how much that surprises

01:08:28.960 --> 01:08:31.729 align:middle line:84%
me that Grady Bankhead can
sit here and tell you he

01:08:31.729 --> 01:08:36.210 align:middle line:84%
actually did that, because
that doesn\'t sound anything

01:08:36.210 --> 01:08:39.260 align:middle line:84%
like the Grady Bankhead I
have known for 50 years.

01:08:39.260 --> 01:08:41.941 align:middle line:90%

01:08:41.941 --> 01:08:43.649 align:middle line:84%
When you actually work
with human beings,

01:08:43.649 --> 01:08:46.800 align:middle line:84%
you realize that every
person-- every person--

01:08:46.800 --> 01:08:49.170 align:middle line:84%
is more than the worst
thing they\'ve ever done.

01:08:49.170 --> 01:08:51.680 align:middle line:84%
I mean, I think if you take
someone who tells a lie,

01:08:51.680 --> 01:08:52.819 align:middle line:90%
they\'re not just a liar.

01:08:52.819 --> 01:08:54.700 align:middle line:84%
If you take something that
doesn\'t belong to you,

01:08:54.700 --> 01:08:55.699 align:middle line:90%
you\'re not just a thief.

01:08:55.699 --> 01:09:00.560 align:middle line:84%
Even if you kill someone,
you\'re not just a killer.

01:09:00.560 --> 01:09:03.260 align:middle line:84%
These are folks who
have just been ignored,

01:09:03.260 --> 01:09:06.189 align:middle line:84%
and are desperate, hungry
for someone to help

01:09:06.189 --> 01:09:07.809 align:middle line:90%
them find a better way to cope.

01:09:07.809 --> 01:09:11.274 align:middle line:90%

01:09:11.274 --> 01:09:14.649 align:middle line:84%
You know, I think it\'s just
important that you know this.

01:09:14.649 --> 01:09:20.180 align:middle line:84%
That, while I understand
that life in this place

01:09:20.180 --> 01:09:22.840 align:middle line:84%
is sometimes hell-- this
is a very difficult place

01:09:22.840 --> 01:09:26.460 align:middle line:84%
to live-- that there are
people on the outside who

01:09:26.460 --> 01:09:30.649 align:middle line:84%
have tremendous compassion, and
love, and support for you guys

01:09:30.649 --> 01:09:32.548 align:middle line:90%
doing the work that you do.

01:09:32.548 --> 01:09:38.479 align:middle line:90%

01:09:38.479 --> 01:09:40.899 align:middle line:84%
You know how I look
at this program?

01:09:40.899 --> 01:09:42.790 align:middle line:84%
I look at this program
as an individual

01:09:42.790 --> 01:09:45.099 align:middle line:84%
going into lock up,
but in a good way.

01:09:45.099 --> 01:09:47.859 align:middle line:90%

01:09:47.859 --> 01:09:52.029 align:middle line:84%
In an environment like this,
these 18 guys we got out here

01:09:52.029 --> 01:09:54.620 align:middle line:84%
now, they\'re getting away
from the hostile environment

01:09:54.620 --> 01:10:01.100 align:middle line:84%
for a while, thinking
about other things.

01:10:01.100 --> 01:10:03.730 align:middle line:90%
You know, stress free.

01:10:03.730 --> 01:10:06.200 align:middle line:84%
Don\'t even worry about
getting in trouble, or nothing

01:10:06.200 --> 01:10:08.200 align:middle line:90%
that can get them in trouble.

01:10:08.200 --> 01:10:11.170 align:middle line:90%

01:10:11.170 --> 01:10:14.600 align:middle line:90%
Donaldson is a crazy place.

01:10:14.600 --> 01:10:17.320 align:middle line:84%
The past two weeks
are evidence of that.

01:10:17.320 --> 01:10:20.449 align:middle line:84%
Somebody got killed on
the first of the year,

01:10:20.449 --> 01:10:23.530 align:middle line:84%
and the proceeding
week before that,

01:10:23.530 --> 01:10:25.920 align:middle line:90%
there\'d been so many stabbings.

01:10:25.920 --> 01:10:27.420 align:middle line:84%
Thankfully, none
of them were fatal.

01:10:27.420 --> 01:10:31.290 align:middle line:90%

01:10:31.290 --> 01:10:37.470 align:middle line:84%
We feel as though, in so
many ways, we were let down,

01:10:37.470 --> 01:10:40.134 align:middle line:84%
because we\'re not allowed
to practice freely.

01:10:40.134 --> 01:10:43.440 align:middle line:90%

01:10:43.440 --> 01:10:50.440 align:middle line:84%
We\'re hopeful that this
course here is a good sign,

01:10:50.440 --> 01:10:51.832 align:middle line:90%
but we still don\'t know.

01:10:51.832 --> 01:10:57.316 align:middle line:90%
[CHIMING]

01:10:57.316 --> 01:11:02.830 align:middle line:84%
I think this institution could
gain a lot from the course.

01:11:02.830 --> 01:11:06.560 align:middle line:84%
If there were, say,
100 more people walking

01:11:06.560 --> 01:11:11.642 align:middle line:84%
around who have the mindsets of
my Dhamma brothers out there,

01:11:11.642 --> 01:11:13.634 align:middle line:84%
it would make a heck
of a difference.

01:11:13.634 --> 01:11:16.622 align:middle line:90%

01:11:16.622 --> 01:13:06.210 align:middle line:90%
[MUSIC PLAYING]

01:13:06.210 --> 01:13:06.910 align:middle line:90%
See.

01:13:06.910 --> 01:13:09.650 align:middle line:84%
I, not too long ago,
has just come out

01:13:09.650 --> 01:13:11.760 align:middle line:84%
of a week-long
sitting with myself.

01:13:11.760 --> 01:13:13.260 align:middle line:90%
It felt different.

01:13:13.260 --> 01:13:14.810 align:middle line:90%
Don\'t get me wrong.

01:13:14.810 --> 01:13:17.670 align:middle line:84%
It felt good to
practice Vipassana.

01:13:17.670 --> 01:13:20.710 align:middle line:84%
It\'s not being able to share
the experience with someone

01:13:20.710 --> 01:13:21.680 align:middle line:90%
who would understand.

01:13:21.680 --> 01:13:24.210 align:middle line:90%
[INAUDIBLE]

01:13:24.210 --> 01:13:25.780 align:middle line:90%
These people don\'t know.

01:13:25.780 --> 01:13:27.210 align:middle line:90%
And I\'ll be trying.

01:13:27.210 --> 01:13:28.640 align:middle line:90%
Trying to enlighten them.

01:13:28.640 --> 01:13:32.332 align:middle line:84%
But as soon as I mention
Buddha and [INAUDIBLE]--

01:13:32.332 --> 01:13:33.480 align:middle line:90%
you scratched that out.

01:13:33.480 --> 01:13:37.000 align:middle line:84%
Why\'d you scratch that
out-- They get spooked.

01:13:37.000 --> 01:13:40.630 align:middle line:84%
As if I\'m trying to change
their minds or belief

01:13:40.630 --> 01:13:41.970 align:middle line:90%
toward their religions.

01:13:41.970 --> 01:13:45.860 align:middle line:84%
However, some, or rather, a
great deal of these people,

01:13:45.860 --> 01:13:49.430 align:middle line:84%
have noticed the tremendous
change I have made in my life.

01:13:49.430 --> 01:13:52.370 align:middle line:84%
What they didn\'t know
was about the technique

01:13:52.370 --> 01:13:55.690 align:middle line:90%
which helped me to find my way.

01:13:55.690 --> 01:13:58.470 align:middle line:84%
It\'s a struggle, I
must say, but it\'s

01:13:58.470 --> 01:14:00.960 align:middle line:84%
a struggle that is worth
every bit of energy

01:14:00.960 --> 01:14:02.154 align:middle line:90%
I have in my soul.

01:14:02.154 --> 01:14:09.990 align:middle line:90%

01:14:09.990 --> 01:14:11.890 align:middle line:90%
Dear Jenny.

01:14:11.890 --> 01:14:14.060 align:middle line:84%
During a small
group sitting today,

01:14:14.060 --> 01:14:17.900 align:middle line:84%
something very heavy and
cold landed on my arm.

01:14:17.900 --> 01:14:21.000 align:middle line:84%
I opened my eyes in
surprise, and got even more

01:14:21.000 --> 01:14:23.690 align:middle line:84%
surprised to discover
that the culprit was

01:14:23.690 --> 01:14:27.000 align:middle line:90%
a regular looking fly.

01:14:27.000 --> 01:14:31.360 align:middle line:84%
It continued to crawl across
my bald head, face, and arms

01:14:31.360 --> 01:14:34.340 align:middle line:84%
throughout the sitting,
and I was totally amazed

01:14:34.340 --> 01:14:37.230 align:middle line:90%
at how heavy it seemed to be.

01:14:37.230 --> 01:14:39.810 align:middle line:84%
To myself, I named
the different body

01:14:39.810 --> 01:14:42.170 align:middle line:90%
sensations I was experiencing.

01:14:42.170 --> 01:14:45.430 align:middle line:84%
Heat sensations,
sound sensations,

01:14:45.430 --> 01:14:51.180 align:middle line:84%
fly sensations, which were very
new to me, and several more.

01:14:51.180 --> 01:14:54.040 align:middle line:84%
Immediately after
the sitting, everyone

01:14:54.040 --> 01:14:57.540 align:middle line:84%
started complaining at the
same time about the fly.

01:14:57.540 --> 01:15:01.770 align:middle line:84%
As it turns out, one fly had
terrorised eight hardened

01:15:01.770 --> 01:15:05.470 align:middle line:90%
prisoners for a whole hour.

01:15:05.470 --> 01:15:07.580 align:middle line:84%
Even though we
didn\'t kill it, we

01:15:07.580 --> 01:15:11.760 align:middle line:84%
spoke of several things
that could be done to it.

01:15:11.760 --> 01:15:16.020 align:middle line:84%
We then started wondering about
how a fly lands on the ceiling.

01:15:16.020 --> 01:15:17.910 align:middle line:84%
Have you ever looked
up on the ceiling

01:15:17.910 --> 01:15:21.120 align:middle line:84%
and seen a fly
perched upside down?

01:15:21.120 --> 01:15:23.890 align:middle line:90%
How did it land there?

01:15:23.890 --> 01:15:27.490 align:middle line:84%
Did it fly upside down
in order to get there?

01:15:27.490 --> 01:15:31.040 align:middle line:84%
We discussed fly issues
for over 10 minutes.

01:15:31.040 --> 01:15:34.410 align:middle line:84%
Afterwards, we began to
question our states of mind

01:15:34.410 --> 01:15:39.610 align:middle line:84%
for wondering so much, and
taking the fly so seriously.

01:15:39.610 --> 01:15:43.970 align:middle line:84%
We still couldn\'t figure out
how flies land on ceilings.

01:15:43.970 --> 01:15:44.870 align:middle line:90%
Your friend.

01:15:44.870 --> 01:16:02.020 align:middle line:90%
[MUSIC PLAYING]

01:16:02.020 --> 01:16:04.463 align:middle line:90%