A beautifully constructed documentary that depicts with great subtlety…
Zoila
- Description
- Reviews
- Citation
- Cataloging
- Transcript
View on the Pragda STREAM site
Zoila’s home-movie aesthetic paints an intimate portrait of the titular Mapuche nanny whose absence from the frame poses important questions about the maternal relationship between her and the children she raised. Think Roma without the romanticization of the indigenous maid.
Throughout the film, the filmmaker tries to capture the essence of what unites her with her nanny, and also what separates them. Zoila’s figure was nebulous for too long, and to begin to understand it involved dismantling class, race, and gender conflicts that coexist among them as ghosts.
The diversity of the footage also exposes a battle of narrators wanting to film their history, which questions rigid ideas of parenting and expresses the genesis of a family under reconstruction.
Citation
Main credits
Pena, Gabriela (filmmaker)
Pinilla, Luciana (film producer)
Cofré, Adela (film producer)
Other credits
Cinematography, Gabriela Pena, Montse Pena; editing, Gabriela Pena; music, Javier Díaz.
Distributor subjects
Women, Economics + Social Class Issues, Culture + Identity, Indigenous Peoples, Family, Migration Studies, Sociology, Race + EthnicityKeywords
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\"The modern mother is just a mask
behind which other mothers hide
00:00:26.510 --> 00:00:31.220
whom have been denied
the recognition of the bond\".
00:00:31.240 --> 00:00:34.030
\"Other Mothers\" - Paul B. Preciado.
00:00:42.000 --> 00:00:45.200
After being outside Chile for twenty years
00:00:45.680 --> 00:00:48.920
at my grandparent\'s house
00:00:49.360 --> 00:00:51.810
I found these old childhood tapes.
00:00:54.450 --> 00:00:58.640
I realized they\'re letters for the future
00:01:01.010 --> 00:01:02.900
to keep a record
00:01:03.840 --> 00:01:08.760
to keep evidence of our family life.
00:01:29.050 --> 00:01:33.040
My memories are all almost sketches
00:01:34.000 --> 00:01:36.300
more like sensations
00:01:38.720 --> 00:01:43.820
and that\'s why I ask myself
if something that imprecise
00:01:44.920 --> 00:01:48.920
would be the only thing
that would\'ve been left from you.
00:01:50.120 --> 00:01:53.270
A sad and warm lightning strike
00:01:53.680 --> 00:01:58.740
that would appear
intermittently in my memory.
00:03:11.320 --> 00:03:15.160
If you\'re hungry, take this money...
00:03:15.160 --> 00:03:20.520
If you\'re hungry, dad, have this money.
00:03:20.760 --> 00:03:27.040
If you\'re hungry, buy something
because I have money. Take it.
00:03:27.040 --> 00:03:29.760
What money?
Where did you get it?
00:03:29.760 --> 00:03:30.960
From the car.
00:03:30.960 --> 00:03:31.960
Hi Montse.
00:03:33.920 --> 00:03:35.240
Aren\'t you sleepy?
00:03:36.360 --> 00:03:37.340
Are you?
00:03:39.560 --> 00:03:40.660
Gabriela...
00:03:41.320 --> 00:03:43.090
She is sleepy too.
00:03:45.320 --> 00:03:47.840
This is the entrance to our house.
00:03:50.920 --> 00:03:53.910
It\'s possible that we\'ll leave it someday.
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We\'ll keep it as a memory.
00:04:28.640 --> 00:04:32.720
There\'s my hubby. He\'s just taken a nap.
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The cheeky one is rested.
00:04:35.840 --> 00:04:37.530
Yes, because I needed it.
00:04:37.560 --> 00:04:39.130
You needed it...
00:04:39.920 --> 00:04:41.240
Right?
00:04:41.720 --> 00:04:46.330
And now mom\'s going to rest
and dad\'s going to stay with the girls.
00:04:49.580 --> 00:04:51.050
Montse!
00:04:51.720 --> 00:04:53.100
Come here.
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I\'m filming her little foot.
00:05:51.400 --> 00:05:54.740
With this recording I start imagining
00:05:54.760 --> 00:05:57.760
that this feeding bottle that mom\'s giving me
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was prepared by you.
00:06:02.240 --> 00:06:07.390
And, somehow, you\'re also giving it to me.
00:06:33.880 --> 00:06:40.120
The first issue that I had with her,
if we can call it an issue
00:06:40.120 --> 00:06:43.240
I mean, the first time that she...
00:06:44.240 --> 00:06:49.690
confronted me was because I told her
she shouldn\'t eat so much bread
00:06:50.480 --> 00:06:54.770
and that she should eat better,
so she took it the wrong way.
00:06:55.240 --> 00:06:59.500
But mom, if you said that to me
I would get angry, too.
00:07:00.060 --> 00:07:02.440
Well, she was just eating bread everyday
00:07:02.440 --> 00:07:04.400
At lunchtime, for breakfast...
00:07:04.400 --> 00:07:06.470
I did what a mother would do.
00:07:06.470 --> 00:07:08.520
I told her it wasn\'t good for her.
00:07:08.520 --> 00:07:10.870
But hey, Zoila wasn\'t your daughter.
00:07:10.870 --> 00:07:12.350
Also, I\'m your daughter...
00:07:12.350 --> 00:07:16.520
I\'m an adult and I don\'t like it
when you say those kind of things to me.
00:07:16.520 --> 00:07:20.850
Well, I\'m just telling you
about a situation that happened. Period.
00:07:20.850 --> 00:07:25.840
Now you can judge me, but
at that moment I was trying to help her, and...
00:07:25.840 --> 00:07:29.750
I know she was very reserved and...
00:07:29.760 --> 00:07:33.070
Sometimes, she\'d cry and I wouldn\'t know why...
00:07:33.880 --> 00:07:39.760
Or sometimes when people would come
to our house she\'d get really upset.
00:07:39.760 --> 00:07:41.920
Zoila was like that. Zoila had...
00:07:41.920 --> 00:07:44.320
...has good things
and some other bad things.
00:07:44.320 --> 00:07:47.760
For example she
doesn\'t know how to open up.
00:07:47.760 --> 00:07:49.800
and explain her problems
00:07:49.800 --> 00:07:54.360
and when she does so,
sometimes it\'s a little bit too late.
00:08:01.320 --> 00:08:06.360
I remember I was laying in bed
and I\'d hear how Zoila was playing
00:08:06.360 --> 00:08:08.420
with you and the other kids
00:08:08.920 --> 00:08:14.400
and I wasn\'t capable of
getting up and play with you too.
00:08:16.800 --> 00:08:20.130
Remembering that makes me really sad.
00:08:25.480 --> 00:08:31.410
It makes me really sad because there are parts
of your childhood that I missed out because of that.
00:08:37.880 --> 00:08:41.480
Is it filming?
Now that the red light is on it\'s filming.
00:08:56.480 --> 00:08:59.760
I remember things about Zoila, but...
00:09:14.440 --> 00:09:16.970
Don\'t you remember anything?
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Anything, like, to remember?
00:09:20.720 --> 00:09:23.720
Yes, anything, any situation.
00:09:33.200 --> 00:09:37.350
Honestly, the memories I have
of Zoila are of her in the kitchen.
00:09:37.360 --> 00:09:41.940
And sometimes, yes, you two were there
in the baby chair and she was feeding you.
00:09:41.960 --> 00:09:44.650
Those are the memories I have of Zoila.
00:09:44.680 --> 00:09:47.160
I don\'t have more memories.
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Zoila brutally waxing the floor...
00:09:53.410 --> 00:09:54.800
Those memories.
00:09:54.800 --> 00:09:58.130
Zoila cleaning, Zoila in the kitchen...
00:10:00.080 --> 00:10:02.000
Those memories...
00:10:02.000 --> 00:10:05.090
You wouldn\'t spend too much time at home, would you?
- No.
00:10:07.080 --> 00:10:11.860
When my dad\'s visit ended, I remembered a story.
00:10:14.560 --> 00:10:17.320
One that I\'ve been told a thousand times.
00:10:24.680 --> 00:10:27.730
Dad had gone out of the house very early
00:10:30.660 --> 00:10:33.880
and because of the drowziness and darkness
00:10:33.880 --> 00:10:37.480
he put on a brown shoe and a black one.
00:10:40.570 --> 00:10:47.190
So you had to rush out,
take the bus, and get to my dad\'s workplace
00:10:47.200 --> 00:10:49.850
before anyone could see him.
00:10:52.150 --> 00:10:57.110
Dad was young at that time.
He\'d been a little time in Chile.
00:10:58.580 --> 00:11:04.480
He arrived here accompanying my mom,
attracted by the verses she\'d recited
00:11:04.480 --> 00:11:07.280
during her twenty years of exhile.
00:11:26.040 --> 00:11:31.270
Now that I\'m alone
in Valparaíso with my grandparents
00:11:31.920 --> 00:11:34.780
I try to cease being a foreigner
00:11:35.920 --> 00:11:40.320
and I ask myself, for the first time:
Who are you to me?
00:11:40.760 --> 00:11:44.480
Who are we for this land?
00:11:51.440 --> 00:11:52.760
\'Zoila\'.
00:11:54.240 --> 00:11:58.480
It\'s written with \"Z\",
but I pronounce it with an \"S\" sound
00:12:00.000 --> 00:12:03.810
because I had a chilean accent
when I learned your name.
00:12:04.920 --> 00:12:10.740
The only word I never
pronounced differently when we left.
00:12:15.600 --> 00:12:17.940
This is our room.
00:12:18.680 --> 00:12:22.610
I don\'t know if it\'s going to last
that long... Probably not.
00:12:24.280 --> 00:12:30.200
Well, here I am, talking. Today\'s...
00:12:30.560 --> 00:12:33.320
What\'s the date today?
- August 26th.
00:12:33.320 --> 00:12:37.680
August 26th... 1999.
00:12:38.480 --> 00:12:40.520
And it\'s only...
00:12:43.240 --> 00:12:44.480
It\'s only...
00:12:46.160 --> 00:12:52.000
eleven days until I take the plane to Spain.
- Sure.
00:12:57.000 --> 00:13:02.200
My dad had lost his job
and they decided to go to Barcelona.
00:13:02.880 --> 00:13:06.420
You helped mom dismantle the house
00:13:07.440 --> 00:13:13.190
at the same time that our family was getting
dismantled too, just the way it was for me:
00:13:13.240 --> 00:13:15.120
With you.
00:13:16.600 --> 00:13:20.560
And we said... \"Farewell\".
00:13:26.240 --> 00:13:32.380
And although we didn\'t know how to read,
you\'d send us postcards, one each month.
00:13:32.400 --> 00:13:35.920
And we\'d respond to them with drawings.
00:13:42.400 --> 00:13:45.730
Hi Gabrielita. I hope you\'re good
00:13:45.800 --> 00:13:51.700
and I also hope you\'re doing well
in school with all your friends.
00:13:51.760 --> 00:13:54.090
Well, I\'m very good.
00:13:54.120 --> 00:13:59.840
Missing you and your sister a lot,
and hoping to see you soon.
00:14:01.520 --> 00:14:03.220
Bye, my little girl.
00:14:03.800 --> 00:14:05.620
Zoila.
00:14:11.480 --> 00:14:14.510
She stayed working with Yolanda
00:14:14.520 --> 00:14:19.890
and she\'d tell me Zoila
would cry for you girls everyday.
00:14:23.240 --> 00:14:27.600
You have to consider that she was
just a girl, she was 22 years old...
00:14:28.000 --> 00:14:32.640
She had just arrived from the south,
so she had a lot of insecurities and...
00:14:32.640 --> 00:14:35.280
things like that... I don\'t know.
00:14:36.620 --> 00:14:42.450
But she accepted to come with us anyway,
because she wanted to be with you girls.
00:14:49.630 --> 00:14:54.370
[In Catalan]
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday...
00:14:55.560 --> 00:15:00.320
September, October, November, December.
00:15:01.360 --> 00:15:04.480
January, February,
March, April, May, June...
00:15:05.320 --> 00:15:06.820
and July.
00:15:13.160 --> 00:15:17.610
You decided to leave Chile 20 years ago
00:15:18.800 --> 00:15:24.000
and you\'ve already lived
almost half of your life in Barcelona.
00:15:27.120 --> 00:15:30.980
But it wasn\'t that long ago
that I started asking myself...
00:15:32.430 --> 00:15:35.060
What did you leave behind?
00:15:42.320 --> 00:15:48.660
I wanted to keep asking mom
about this big decision in your life
00:15:49.850 --> 00:15:53.740
but since her answers wouldn\'t be enough for me
00:15:54.160 --> 00:15:56.650
a short time later I took a plane to Barcelona.
00:16:13.610 --> 00:16:16.480
Call her later...
- Yes, it\'s just that we\'re arriving...
00:16:16.480 --> 00:16:18.740
We\'re going up to Zoila\'s house.
00:16:20.440 --> 00:16:23.060
Ok, later. Bye.
00:16:32.880 --> 00:16:34.610
Hey!
- Hey.
00:17:31.600 --> 00:17:33.430
There it is. I took it.
00:17:33.460 --> 00:17:37.830
But no, get here.
Come, come with me, just a little bit.
00:17:38.480 --> 00:17:42.280
Zoila, no, he\'s gonna run away.
- There, put him like this.
00:17:44.750 --> 00:17:47.240
You have to take it from here, Montse.
00:17:47.240 --> 00:17:50.040
No, because I look too ugly today.
00:17:50.040 --> 00:17:52.090
Oh, well, you always do.
00:18:15.360 --> 00:18:21.640
I remember that, sometimes, you used to
wear glasses although you didn\'t need them
00:18:21.640 --> 00:18:26.360
just to act like an intellectual.
- And now... It freaks me out.
00:18:26.380 --> 00:18:28.830
I found some pictures of...
00:18:28.840 --> 00:18:32.560
of you and Montse posing with glasses
00:18:32.920 --> 00:18:35.570
acting out as intellectuals.
00:18:35.600 --> 00:18:36.880
Where did you see them?
00:18:36.910 --> 00:18:39.830
I\'ll show you later.
They were in your photo album.
00:18:43.280 --> 00:18:45.770
And now you have to wear them for real.
00:18:47.600 --> 00:18:49.790
Look, it\'s the intellectual dog.
00:19:16.510 --> 00:19:20.950
My friends would question me
about leaving my parents alone
00:19:20.960 --> 00:19:24.610
and how I could go so far away from them
00:19:24.640 --> 00:19:28.320
and leave them alone...
00:19:31.960 --> 00:19:34.950
I never thought I was going to come here.
00:19:34.960 --> 00:19:37.800
Did my parents ask you if you wanted to leave?
- Yes, they did.
00:19:37.800 --> 00:19:39.350
I said I wanted to.
00:19:39.360 --> 00:19:42.270
But I had to ask my own parents for permission.
00:19:47.880 --> 00:19:54.480
And, when I finally talked to them,
they said that I should go without remorse.
00:19:56.960 --> 00:20:01.750
And also that they weren\'t alone,
that they had my siblings around.
00:20:07.240 --> 00:20:10.460
That day it started raining hard.
00:20:10.480 --> 00:20:14.190
That day it rained like never before.
00:20:14.880 --> 00:20:17.220
Right, I was wearing winter clothes
00:20:17.240 --> 00:20:20.560
and I had summer clothes
in my suitcase to change.
00:20:20.560 --> 00:20:24.140
But in the end I didn\'t.
I didn\'t think it would be necessary.
00:20:25.440 --> 00:20:31.360
And then I remember I got to the airport
and when I got off the car, Mrs. Yolanda said:
00:20:31.360 --> 00:20:34.690
\"Don\'t look back, look forward\".
00:20:36.320 --> 00:20:40.840
No, I didn\'t look back.
I never looked back, at any moment.
00:20:40.840 --> 00:20:45.460
\"You just look forward\", she said,
\"but don\'t you ever look back\".
00:20:46.440 --> 00:20:48.770
I always remember those words.
00:21:08.830 --> 00:21:12.440
And then I got there and said to
myself: \"But, what am I going to do?\"
00:21:12.440 --> 00:21:16.700
\"How am I going to get there?
I\'m going to get lost, I have to get to Madrid\".
00:21:16.720 --> 00:21:18.430
I was nervous.
00:21:18.440 --> 00:21:20.930
Mrs. Yolanda had told me:
00:21:20.960 --> 00:21:25.080
\"Look for someone who\'s also going to Barcelona
00:21:25.800 --> 00:21:31.300
and who\'s going to take the same trip
as you, and remain close to that person\".
00:21:39.360 --> 00:21:44.300
I remember Montse was sitting there
and you were sitting with your back to me.
00:21:44.320 --> 00:21:46.040
No, both of you were sitting.
00:21:46.040 --> 00:21:47.520
I don\'t know what you were doing.
00:21:47.520 --> 00:21:49.310
You were both sitting
00:21:50.000 --> 00:21:52.700
and when I started walking
00:21:54.240 --> 00:21:59.150
I don\'t know if your mom had talked to you
or we got there and then you stood up.
00:21:59.160 --> 00:22:02.760
I remember that you stood up
and ran towards me to hug me
00:22:02.830 --> 00:22:04.200
and you said:
00:22:04.200 --> 00:22:06.940
\"Now I\'m completely happy\".
00:22:07.960 --> 00:22:14.860
And you\'d touch me and not believe it.
You\'d look at me and touched me again.
00:22:14.880 --> 00:22:17.330
You were like...
00:22:18.320 --> 00:22:20.650
As if you were in a dream
00:22:20.680 --> 00:22:22.760
that you couldn\'t believe it.
00:22:39.400 --> 00:22:45.870
One weekend, I went to my mom\'s house
looking for more pictures and drawings.
00:22:48.640 --> 00:22:50.800
And she gave me other tapes
00:22:52.400 --> 00:22:54.800
some small, digital ones
00:22:55.480 --> 00:22:57.590
that were filmed in Barcelona.
00:23:00.400 --> 00:23:03.620
Clearly, they were very
different from the first ones.
00:23:19.880 --> 00:23:22.140
It smells like clementine.
00:23:28.980 --> 00:23:32.420
Look over there,
two brats fighting.
00:23:38.840 --> 00:23:40.950
And Zoila\'s
00:23:40.960 --> 00:23:44.790
just arrived with the birthday cake.
00:23:45.400 --> 00:23:48.800
I said birthday and
Gabriela got all excited.
00:23:48.800 --> 00:23:50.130
Let\'s see the cake.
00:23:50.760 --> 00:23:56.040
Happy birthday to you
00:23:56.680 --> 00:24:01.200
happy birthday to you.
00:24:01.960 --> 00:24:07.040
Happy birthday, Dear Zoila
00:24:08.080 --> 00:24:12.120
happy birthday to you.
00:24:12.720 --> 00:24:15.780
No, Zoila has to blow the candles.
- Both of us.
00:24:15.800 --> 00:24:17.880
No, Zoila has to blow them.
00:24:18.280 --> 00:24:19.980
Come on, Zoila.
- Bravo!
00:24:20.000 --> 00:24:23.280
Happy birthday!
- Bravo! Happy birthday!
00:24:24.350 --> 00:24:26.660
This is the girls\' room.
00:24:28.440 --> 00:24:30.460
One, two beds.
00:24:31.680 --> 00:24:34.950
This is the window
that connects with the laundry
00:24:37.480 --> 00:24:43.240
and then this was Zoila\'s room.
The girls now use it
00:24:43.280 --> 00:24:46.920
to watch TV, read stories, play...
00:24:51.770 --> 00:24:54.890
Soon, I discovered that all the tapes
00:24:55.240 --> 00:24:58.410
were filmed when you
weren\'t working at home anymore.
00:25:05.280 --> 00:25:08.000
I remember when I knew you were leaving
00:25:08.000 --> 00:25:10.060
I asked you why.
00:25:10.080 --> 00:25:13.170
And you told me to ask mom.
00:25:24.400 --> 00:25:29.560
Well, when she got to Spain,
the fairest thing would\'ve been to pay her
00:25:29.560 --> 00:25:33.790
an adequate salary as a housekeeper
00:25:33.800 --> 00:25:37.070
but that meant that I had to
pay her all my own salary
00:25:37.070 --> 00:25:40.230
because, in Spain, a pharmacist
00:25:40.920 --> 00:25:44.320
who had just started working
in a pharmacy, would earn almost
00:25:44.320 --> 00:25:47.310
the same as a housekeeper.
00:25:51.840 --> 00:25:54.830
So, I told Zoila from the beginning:
00:25:54.830 --> 00:25:58.360
\"If you want to come,
I won\'t be able to pay you that money\".
00:26:02.070 --> 00:26:06.000
Unfortunately, the apartment was too small
00:26:06.000 --> 00:26:09.880
and Zoila would meddle
in your dad\'s life and mine
00:26:09.880 --> 00:26:12.020
so we had too many issues.
00:26:12.020 --> 00:26:14.520
That\'s why I\'m telling you
it was a difficult time.
00:26:15.880 --> 00:26:19.990
Zoila would always support me,
she would always defend me
00:26:22.210 --> 00:26:27.960
and I think that when Zoila left the house,
the fact that I could be in charge and decide
00:26:27.960 --> 00:26:33.380
what we\'d do or stop doing, did me well,
because I also have to think about myself.
00:26:34.220 --> 00:26:40.520
And the moment that Zoila left,
I felt like I was the one who ruled the house.
00:26:40.520 --> 00:26:44.390
I felt like in that moment I was able
to make my own decisions, that I was the owner-
00:26:44.390 --> 00:26:47.770
Not the owner, but that I was your actual mother.
00:26:52.800 --> 00:26:57.480
I remember my classmates
would always ask me who you were.
00:27:03.100 --> 00:27:07.920
At the beginning, I would explain
to them what a nanny was in Chile
00:27:07.920 --> 00:27:13.210
but when you left the house,
it became more difficult to define our bond.
00:27:16.730 --> 00:27:20.280
I think I didn\'t take it well in that moment.
- No...
00:27:20.280 --> 00:27:26.560
But then I did, because I had my things,
I started buying my own things.
00:27:26.560 --> 00:27:30.060
I\'d come see you, from time to time.
00:27:31.200 --> 00:27:35.860
We\'d go out on the weekends,
on weekdays, in the evenings.
00:27:38.640 --> 00:27:41.490
We used to watch a lot of movies...
00:27:41.520 --> 00:27:44.200
We used to watch Shin-chan...
00:27:45.840 --> 00:27:48.040
the Teletubbies...
00:28:40.010 --> 00:28:42.840
Sergi, come. They\'re taking us a picture.
- I have to move?
00:28:42.840 --> 00:28:45.190
Yes, they\'re taking us a picture.
- I\'m coming.
00:28:56.470 --> 00:28:58.240
Hi, mom and dad.
00:28:58.240 --> 00:29:00.760
I hope you\'re all well.
00:29:00.800 --> 00:29:04.400
Let me tell you that
I got the permanent residency.
00:29:06.400 --> 00:29:11.880
At this moment we\'re at the beach,
because it\'s summer here and it\'s very hot.
00:29:14.350 --> 00:29:17.910
The girls are very happy because I\'m here.
00:29:25.560 --> 00:29:30.770
This postcard shows the encounter
of the New World with the Old World.
00:29:30.800 --> 00:29:34.450
Columbus points where America is located.
00:29:36.400 --> 00:29:39.430
Now I say farewell.
Kisses for everyone.
00:29:41.570 --> 00:29:43.150
Zoila.
00:29:46.560 --> 00:29:51.160
In Barcelona you\'d
change hairstyles every season
00:29:51.200 --> 00:29:54.560
and buy a new CD every weekend
00:29:54.600 --> 00:29:57.790
with whom we danced barefoot all afternoon.
00:29:58.880 --> 00:30:01.680
No one ever asked you about your past
00:30:02.560 --> 00:30:03.900
not even us.
00:30:05.920 --> 00:30:09.520
It remained hidden inside
the thousands of your shoe boxes.
00:30:15.360 --> 00:30:18.700
And little by little
you stopped being the Zoila
00:30:19.400 --> 00:30:21.330
that they didn\'t film.
00:30:49.520 --> 00:30:51.260
Dinner time.
00:31:04.550 --> 00:31:05.980
Let\'s eat!
00:31:07.960 --> 00:31:11.400
Didn\'t you ever plan to come back to Chile?
00:31:14.360 --> 00:31:16.580
No, no... Honestly, no.
00:31:16.600 --> 00:31:20.340
Because I noticed that you needed me more
00:31:20.680 --> 00:31:24.100
and since you\'ve always
told me to never leave you
00:31:24.510 --> 00:31:26.040
as well as Montse.
00:31:26.040 --> 00:31:30.370
And sometimes, when you\'d misbehave, I\'d say:
\"I\'ll go back to Chile, you\'ll never see me again\".
00:31:30.370 --> 00:31:32.030
\"I\'m going to leave\".
00:31:32.030 --> 00:31:34.580
And, because of that, you\'d start crying.
00:31:35.960 --> 00:31:37.980
How mean, Zoila!
00:31:50.160 --> 00:31:54.280
Ow! Play a little while!
- No, ma\'am. That\'s enough.
00:32:03.100 --> 00:32:06.610
If there\'s anything that
hasn\'t changed with the years
00:32:06.640 --> 00:32:09.400
is the fear that you get mad at me.
00:32:13.370 --> 00:32:17.330
When it happens,
I become a child once again.
00:32:28.550 --> 00:32:32.010
And I\'ve always lived with the uncertainty
00:32:32.040 --> 00:32:35.040
of you leaving forever.
00:32:38.470 --> 00:32:40.020
Just like it happened...
00:32:41.070 --> 00:32:42.850
with your own family.
00:32:46.360 --> 00:32:51.180
Truth is that whenever I wanted
to visit them, there was always something.
00:32:52.120 --> 00:32:54.900
Something like... an obstacle.
00:32:56.550 --> 00:32:59.550
Like taking such a long trip all alone.
00:33:01.520 --> 00:33:04.040
That was my fear.
00:33:09.200 --> 00:33:14.970
A few years ago, all of your siblings
and nephews started adding you on Facebook.
00:33:19.240 --> 00:33:23.790
And by that time,
you started asking Montse and I
00:33:23.800 --> 00:33:26.660
if we\'d like to have a little brother.
00:33:31.800 --> 00:33:36.000
Truth is that I\'d never
imagined you as a mother.
00:33:38.760 --> 00:33:40.810
Or I\'d never wanted to.
00:33:53.760 --> 00:33:56.270
One day my mom called me.
00:33:56.720 --> 00:34:00.310
She told me you were going to be hospitalized.
00:34:01.600 --> 00:34:06.860
Your pregnancy got complicated
because of myomas in your uterus
00:34:06.860 --> 00:34:09.080
that had to be removed from you.
00:34:16.440 --> 00:34:20.010
You, the queen of integrity.
00:34:20.830 --> 00:34:24.780
My reference of solidity.
00:34:27.630 --> 00:34:30.520
I\'d never seen you so vulnerable.
00:34:40.880 --> 00:34:44.920
After that, you had to wait for some time
00:34:45.670 --> 00:34:48.560
until you tried having children again.
00:35:35.400 --> 00:35:38.770
Some months after coming back to Valparaíso
00:35:38.800 --> 00:35:41.810
once again at my grandparent\'s house
00:35:41.840 --> 00:35:44.940
I received a call from you one evening.
00:35:46.760 --> 00:35:52.810
I told you I was stuck in bed
because of painful menstrual cramps.
00:35:57.840 --> 00:36:01.640
When you told me that you
never got your period again
00:36:03.320 --> 00:36:06.720
the weight of time fell upon me
00:36:07.200 --> 00:36:08.680
like a stone.
00:36:13.840 --> 00:36:16.360
Because in some strange way
00:36:16.840 --> 00:36:19.580
I always felt like you were immune...
00:36:20.320 --> 00:36:22.130
to the passing of time.
00:36:34.400 --> 00:36:38.770
I told you that Montse
was going to visit me in a few months
00:36:38.800 --> 00:36:41.930
and that you could come with her.
00:36:43.960 --> 00:36:49.080
What I didn\'t expect was
that the answer would be yes.
00:37:05.960 --> 00:37:11.270
The first days in Chile,
we spent them together in Valparaíso.
00:37:12.760 --> 00:37:16.070
And then you were going to the south.
00:37:17.280 --> 00:37:22.120
It had been a long time
since we spent so much time together
00:37:24.000 --> 00:37:27.010
outside the four walls of your house.
00:37:31.920 --> 00:37:36.590
They were beautiful days,
I didn\'t want to separate from you.
00:37:40.960 --> 00:37:43.280
Luckily, you didn\'t either.
00:37:43.840 --> 00:37:47.990
And because of that, a couple
of mornings before your parting
00:37:48.000 --> 00:37:52.170
you asked us to go
with you to meet your family.
00:38:21.800 --> 00:38:27.960
Throughout that night trip,
I started asking you about Chol Chol.
00:38:33.880 --> 00:38:38.070
And the first thing that you
told us was about its river
00:38:39.680 --> 00:38:42.590
that has the same name as the town.
00:38:47.240 --> 00:38:50.830
You\'d tell us how your
mom would wash the clothes
00:38:50.840 --> 00:38:54.060
while you and your siblings took a bath.
00:38:55.130 --> 00:38:58.920
I imagined you all covered
in mud, from head to toe.
00:38:59.700 --> 00:39:03.600
[And was it there when your
siblings chased you with snakes?]
-But no
00:39:03.600 --> 00:39:08.520
it wasn\'t there when your
siblings chased you with a snake.
00:39:08.520 --> 00:39:12.600
[And where did that happen?]
That story happened in the countryside.
00:39:12.600 --> 00:39:14.730
[You mean there, where you were born?]
00:39:14.730 --> 00:39:16.350
[How old were you?]
00:39:16.370 --> 00:39:20.160
Before the house where
you were born got burned.
00:39:26.200 --> 00:39:30.720
And yes, just after you left to live in town
00:39:32.070 --> 00:39:35.710
to a house that the church gave to your dad.
00:39:37.360 --> 00:39:42.840
And no, you didn\'t know why he,
being a mapuche, became a pastor.
00:39:44.360 --> 00:39:49.250
And that you had a headache
and you were going to sleep for a little while.
00:39:53.280 --> 00:39:58.270
I didn\'t sleep a thing,
and I\'m sure you didn\'t either.
00:40:13.360 --> 00:40:16.270
She\'s changed her whole character.
00:40:18.640 --> 00:40:21.110
Hello, how are you?
- Good.
00:40:21.560 --> 00:40:23.060
I\'m good too.
00:40:24.240 --> 00:40:25.680
Hello.
- And this one?
00:40:25.680 --> 00:40:27.460
Her daughter.
- My daughter.
00:40:28.200 --> 00:40:29.790
Zoila\'s daughter.
00:40:30.760 --> 00:40:32.600
And her?
-Her too.
00:40:33.120 --> 00:40:34.620
Stepdaughter.
00:40:34.640 --> 00:40:36.230
The other daughter.
00:40:36.560 --> 00:40:38.210
The second daughter.
00:40:39.080 --> 00:40:40.590
My daughter.
00:40:41.280 --> 00:40:43.950
Blonde, the same as her mother.
00:41:10.800 --> 00:41:12.190
What are you drinking?
00:41:13.680 --> 00:41:15.550
He drank milk on the bus.
00:41:16.120 --> 00:41:17.310
Oh, he already did.
00:41:20.080 --> 00:41:24.110
He still has the cup you gave him.
That was a long time ago.
00:41:24.120 --> 00:41:26.670
Which one?
- He drinks from that one only.
00:41:26.680 --> 00:41:28.160
That cup.
00:41:29.640 --> 00:41:33.160
You left us like three cups, it seems.
- She left us three cups, it seems.
00:41:33.160 --> 00:41:35.280
And it\'s the only one he drinks from.
00:41:46.080 --> 00:41:50.110
The sun was rising and I got sick.
00:41:50.120 --> 00:41:53.040
No, she had contractions.
- He held me from here.
00:41:53.040 --> 00:41:55.920
The mapuche women would
be held from here when they
00:41:55.920 --> 00:41:58.830
were about to have their babies.
00:41:58.840 --> 00:42:02.920
They\'d look for him from anywhere
00:42:03.600 --> 00:42:06.560
to help women during their labor.
00:42:10.320 --> 00:42:12.780
He held me and she was born.
00:42:14.440 --> 00:42:16.560
That\'s how it happened.
00:42:18.740 --> 00:42:21.680
He cut my navel with a knife.
00:42:22.000 --> 00:42:23.960
The knife was all rusty.
00:42:26.480 --> 00:42:29.360
Not even with scissors, with a knife.
00:43:04.040 --> 00:43:05.590
I\'ve passed quickly.
00:44:25.200 --> 00:44:29.760
Your sister told me
that aunt Rosa is a Machi.
00:44:30.400 --> 00:44:31.400
Yes.
00:44:33.840 --> 00:44:36.040
What\'s a Machi, exactly?
00:44:37.560 --> 00:44:43.120
They can help you with
a sickness and it\'s all with plants.
00:44:48.600 --> 00:44:53.030
My father didn\'t like that
because he was an evangelical.
00:45:07.200 --> 00:45:12.440
Sure, he used to go to the countryside
to visit the people and all that.
00:45:12.440 --> 00:45:15.300
But he doesn\'t share the same views as them...
00:45:15.320 --> 00:45:17.050
He\'s never liked that.
00:45:17.400 --> 00:45:21.400
He doesn\'t like my mom to
spend too much time in there, either.
00:45:46.240 --> 00:45:47.940
\"Korü\".
00:45:49.440 --> 00:45:50.770
Food.
00:45:56.120 --> 00:45:58.680
Let\'s see... \"Trewa\".
00:45:59.240 --> 00:46:00.890
Dog.
00:46:02.240 --> 00:46:04.490
Zoila, \"Trewa\".
- Dog.
00:46:04.920 --> 00:46:07.800
But, did you hear it from him
or did you already know it?
00:46:07.800 --> 00:46:08.800
I knew it.
00:46:15.120 --> 00:46:16.480
\"Pin pin\".
00:46:17.080 --> 00:46:20.240
Here it says that \"pin pin\" is chick.
00:46:20.240 --> 00:46:23.360
But what else does it say?
00:46:23.360 --> 00:46:25.470
\"Pin pin\".
- It says chick.
00:46:26.000 --> 00:46:28.320
The translation of chick is \"pin pin\".
00:46:28.320 --> 00:46:29.990
Oh! \"Pin pin\".
00:46:31.640 --> 00:46:34.990
Like the chips of a chick.
00:46:35.280 --> 00:46:37.400
I don\'t know, it just says chick.
00:46:37.400 --> 00:46:39.760
And how do you say chick?
- \"Pil pil\".
00:46:41.300 --> 00:46:43.620
Like a badly dressed chick.
00:46:45.530 --> 00:46:47.870
That\'s called a \"pil pil\".
- Plucked.
00:46:47.870 --> 00:46:49.320
why badly dressed?
00:46:49.320 --> 00:46:51.800
Because its feathers come out like...
00:46:53.130 --> 00:46:55.640
Its neck is naked.
- The feathers...
00:46:55.640 --> 00:46:57.970
come out really weird.
00:47:01.080 --> 00:47:03.330
Let\'s see, don\'t you say it.
00:47:03.760 --> 00:47:05.100
\"Ñawe\".
00:47:05.920 --> 00:47:07.760
\"Ñawe\"?
- I don\'t know.
00:47:07.760 --> 00:47:09.800
You don\'t know.
- Daughter.
00:47:12.560 --> 00:47:13.820
My \"ñawe\".
00:47:15.360 --> 00:47:17.480
\"Fotüm\", son.
00:47:27.200 --> 00:47:29.130
What words do you know?
00:47:30.530 --> 00:47:34.550
How, which words do I know?
- Yes, which words have you remembered?
00:47:34.550 --> 00:47:36.110
None.
00:47:36.120 --> 00:47:38.750
You\'ve remembered some. Didn\'t you say...
00:47:38.750 --> 00:47:39.990
...water?
00:47:41.720 --> 00:47:44.850
The most basic ones: dog, water, bread.
00:47:45.600 --> 00:47:46.920
Flour.
00:47:47.160 --> 00:47:50.340
How do you say flour?
- \"Mürke\".
00:48:02.940 --> 00:48:05.640
Set the table now, Gabriela.
- I\'ll do it.
00:48:05.640 --> 00:48:08.200
If not, it\'s going to be late.
- I\'ll do it now.
00:48:23.080 --> 00:48:27.080
How do you think your life
would\'ve been if you\'d stayed here?
00:48:28.680 --> 00:48:31.770
I don\'t know, I\'ve never thought about it.
00:48:33.800 --> 00:48:36.000
Because my life\'s already set there.
00:48:41.920 --> 00:48:46.560
And hasn\'t coming back here made you
reconnect with your mapuche roots?
00:48:46.560 --> 00:48:49.430
Hasn\'t it made you,
like, recognize yourself?
00:48:51.000 --> 00:48:53.390
You always come up with that...
00:48:54.120 --> 00:48:57.660
It gets to a point where I get
tired of talking about all that.
00:48:58.600 --> 00:49:01.970
I can\'t tell you if I
recognize myself or not.
00:49:06.360 --> 00:49:08.720
Your siblings don\'t
mind talking about this.
00:49:08.720 --> 00:49:10.660
No, they don\'t, but I...
00:49:11.360 --> 00:49:14.580
always listening to it, over and over...
I just get tired of it.
00:49:14.600 --> 00:49:18.150
Well, I won\'t ask you again.
- It\'s not about that.
00:49:30.250 --> 00:49:32.880
You came back to your family
00:49:33.440 --> 00:49:36.770
and I stayed going around Chol Chol.
00:49:38.800 --> 00:49:40.890
Feeling left out.
00:49:48.280 --> 00:49:52.380
And truth is that, as much as I tried
00:49:52.400 --> 00:50:00.440
I couldn\'t stop wishing that you showed up
with a suitcase and three bus tickets.
00:50:01.170 --> 00:50:04.200
HAVE A NICE TRIP
00:50:05.760 --> 00:50:11.400
I got to fix my wish until the version
in which the one leaving was only me.
00:50:13.800 --> 00:50:17.230
Gabrielita, why the sad face?
00:50:17.240 --> 00:50:22.900
Because I have to let go
a pretty white grasshopper.
00:50:22.920 --> 00:50:25.100
Why do you have to let it go?
00:50:25.120 --> 00:50:28.740
Because, if not, it\'ll be
away from its family. Look.
00:50:33.040 --> 00:50:35.980
Wait, I\'m coming down.
00:50:36.760 --> 00:50:38.200
Be careful, my girl.
00:50:38.200 --> 00:50:39.550
Look.
00:50:41.520 --> 00:50:44.060
Can you see it?
-No, I can\'t see it.
00:50:45.240 --> 00:50:48.530
Wait, it\'s trying to come out now.
00:50:50.360 --> 00:50:52.520
Leave it here.
- Can you see it?
00:50:52.840 --> 00:50:56.120
I don\'t know if I\'ll be able to see it
with the camera, when zooming in.
00:50:56.120 --> 00:50:57.120
Can you see it?
00:50:58.600 --> 00:51:00.370
Let\'s see.
-No.
00:51:01.720 --> 00:51:06.060
How can you not see it?
There, inside. Can you see it?
00:51:09.880 --> 00:51:12.570
At night, you called me for dinner
00:51:13.240 --> 00:51:15.390
as if nothing had happened.
00:51:17.680 --> 00:51:23.680
And my imagination, all regretful,
took a bus back to Chol Chol.
00:51:39.320 --> 00:51:41.000
\"Hostias!\"
[Spanish exclamation]
00:51:50.600 --> 00:51:52.840
Over there. Go running.
00:51:53.640 --> 00:51:55.710
Good! Look how pretty!
00:51:56.240 --> 00:51:57.550
How it flew!
00:52:16.680 --> 00:52:20.840
I\'d blinded myself so much,
searching in your roots and your past
00:52:20.840 --> 00:52:23.840
that I hadn\'t realized that, in the present
00:52:25.560 --> 00:52:27.750
in the middle of the dining room
00:52:28.080 --> 00:52:29.840
there was hanging...
00:52:31.330 --> 00:52:32.810
this picture.
00:52:37.320 --> 00:52:44.060
I\'d never known about your family,
but they\'d always viewed you by our side.
00:52:45.510 --> 00:52:47.280
And seen it like that,
00:52:47.280 --> 00:52:52.110
it wasn\'t that strange that you
had come back to Chol Chol with us.
00:53:21.440 --> 00:53:24.490
Look, Zoila with me and my sister
00:53:24.920 --> 00:53:26.760
in 1997.
00:53:29.520 --> 00:53:31.820
When you were little girls.
00:53:34.120 --> 00:53:36.320
Would Zoila spank you?
00:53:37.200 --> 00:53:39.110
No, I don\'t think so.
-Wouldn\'t she?
00:53:39.120 --> 00:53:40.830
I don\'t recall.
00:53:40.840 --> 00:53:44.690
She\'d spank you with a handkerchief, though.
-I don\'t know.
00:53:50.400 --> 00:53:54.660
I made this drawing when I was four.
00:53:58.840 --> 00:54:01.380
Can you read the names above?
00:54:01.400 --> 00:54:05.840
My mom, my dad, Zoila, me and my sister.
00:54:08.560 --> 00:54:09.870
I see.
00:54:11.320 --> 00:54:14.400
At this moment they are both alive, right?
00:54:14.400 --> 00:54:16.400
I mean your mom and dad.
- Yes.
00:54:18.760 --> 00:54:24.810
Do you realize that, to me, Zoila
was part of my family when I was a little girl?
00:54:24.840 --> 00:54:28.380
There she is, in the middle.
In the middle of everything.
00:54:31.800 --> 00:54:37.250
Zoila\'s trip to Spain
was, like, because of you.
00:54:39.560 --> 00:54:41.320
Because...
00:54:43.840 --> 00:54:46.470
you didn\'t want to leave her.
00:54:49.050 --> 00:54:53.680
Because you appreciated her, you loved her
00:54:53.680 --> 00:54:56.060
and still love her.
00:54:56.080 --> 00:54:58.590
Now you\'re best friends...
00:55:01.170 --> 00:55:06.550
I imagine that you\'re closer to each other.
00:55:07.880 --> 00:55:09.720
That\'s what I think.
00:55:11.280 --> 00:55:12.770
That\'s good,
00:55:13.200 --> 00:55:15.480
because she\'s like...
00:55:19.000 --> 00:55:20.840
How can I say...
00:55:22.440 --> 00:55:24.020
Alone there.
00:55:26.640 --> 00:55:31.030
To adopt another family is not
the same as having one of your own.
00:55:32.440 --> 00:55:36.060
Why?
- Always, the adopted child
00:55:36.080 --> 00:55:42.220
when their minds open,
are like: \"this isn\'t my actual relative\".
00:55:43.210 --> 00:55:47.340
Even if they\'re protected.
Even if they\'re given everything they want.
00:55:47.360 --> 00:55:52.860
But they\'re never satisfied,
because they\'re not that person\'s offspring.
00:55:52.880 --> 00:55:56.060
They\'re not their bloodline.
00:55:58.080 --> 00:56:03.180
Would I love you as a mother if you adopted me?
00:56:04.520 --> 00:56:10.200
Maybe I could say \"I love you\"
00:56:11.200 --> 00:56:14.230
but I wouldn\'t actually feel it at heart.
00:56:18.360 --> 00:56:22.250
Even though there\'s no bloodline, there\'s love.
00:56:22.280 --> 00:56:24.490
Love\'s what counts.
00:56:24.520 --> 00:56:31.670
She did it with affection, with love,
and then she gained confidence from you.
00:56:32.440 --> 00:56:35.190
That\'s what happened between you.
00:56:35.200 --> 00:56:43.500
That\'s why she says: \"My girls are coming,
my two girls are coming\", because she loves you.
00:56:44.760 --> 00:56:49.490
Because she raised you
00:56:49.520 --> 00:56:53.350
like her babies, like her daughters.
00:56:54.320 --> 00:56:56.870
She feels love for you, I think.
00:56:57.600 --> 00:56:59.340
That\'s what happens
00:56:59.880 --> 00:57:04.800
with all the young girls who work with kids.
00:57:06.440 --> 00:57:08.280
They grow fond, they...
00:57:09.440 --> 00:57:11.550
They grow fond of them.
00:57:11.920 --> 00:57:14.080
We grow fond of dogs.
00:57:14.080 --> 00:57:18.060
You grew fond of Zoila,
because she raised you.
00:57:18.080 --> 00:57:21.810
She won\'t forget you.
You\'ll never forget, I think.
00:57:22.600 --> 00:57:25.590
Now you\'re like sisters
00:57:25.600 --> 00:57:31.320
because you\'ve already
turned into a grown woman.
00:57:35.000 --> 00:57:37.340
You\'re grown ups.
00:57:37.840 --> 00:57:41.640
Montse is also grown.
00:57:42.640 --> 00:57:46.230
Of course you can hesitate...
00:57:46.240 --> 00:57:49.520
But the heart never forgets. It doesn\'t forget.
00:57:51.040 --> 00:57:56.910
Did Zoila change in any aspect?
Was she the same as when she left?
00:57:56.920 --> 00:58:02.880
She changed a little, but she
almost doesn\'t share in conversation
00:58:02.880 --> 00:58:05.080
but she has always been like that.
00:58:06.040 --> 00:58:10.880
When she was here, I don\'t know,
maybe she used to speak more
00:58:10.880 --> 00:58:14.060
but I don\'t remember her very well.
00:58:17.040 --> 00:58:20.890
We never had
conversations when they were little...
00:58:20.890 --> 00:58:24.350
I didn\'t have
conversations with them, because I...
00:58:26.520 --> 00:58:30.880
I wouldn\'t spend time with them that much.
00:58:31.680 --> 00:58:36.160
You didn\'t speak?
- I wouldn\'t say to them: we have to talk, either.
00:58:36.600 --> 00:58:43.940
My husband\'s very reserved. So he never
talked to his kids when they were little.
00:58:43.960 --> 00:58:49.670
Some parents give their kids advice:
\"You have to do this, you have to be careful\"
00:58:50.240 --> 00:58:54.080
\"don\'t talk with strangers...\"
00:58:54.600 --> 00:58:57.400
We never taught them that, I think.
00:58:57.400 --> 00:58:59.120
We were very reserved.
00:58:59.880 --> 00:59:04.960
Wait, I\'m going to get the dogs out.
-Get out of here!
00:59:04.960 --> 00:59:06.820
They love me so much.
00:59:09.400 --> 00:59:11.270
Get them out of here!
00:59:16.000 --> 00:59:21.940
I feel like the lack of words
taught you to express yourself with actions.
00:59:24.050 --> 00:59:26.590
Love, with food.
00:59:28.000 --> 00:59:30.600
Concern, with calls.
00:59:32.360 --> 00:59:34.760
Fear, with anger.
00:59:36.320 --> 00:59:39.230
The anger, by disappearing.
00:59:43.620 --> 00:59:47.460
And I also think that the lack of words
00:59:47.480 --> 00:59:50.720
encouraged you to leave Chol Chol.
01:00:09.880 --> 01:00:13.960
Your dad never understood
that you never wanted to study sewing
01:00:13.960 --> 01:00:18.390
that you wanted to dedicate yourself
to take care of kids in a kindergarten.
01:00:24.720 --> 01:00:29.550
And surely, that summer that you left
to see your sister to the capital city
01:00:29.560 --> 01:00:35.750
you didn\'t tell your father that you
were never going back to finish those studies.
01:00:43.390 --> 01:00:46.790
And, simply, time passed by.
01:00:55.920 --> 01:00:59.090
Also because of that lack of words
01:00:59.120 --> 01:01:01.500
I found myself in Chol Chol
01:01:01.520 --> 01:01:03.270
with your family
01:01:03.280 --> 01:01:05.020
and a camera.
01:01:54.040 --> 01:01:56.620
Malucha says \"bye!\"
01:01:57.290 --> 01:01:58.640
Good bye, Pilila!
01:01:58.640 --> 01:02:01.120
\"Bye!\", she says. \"Bye bye!\"
01:02:27.700 --> 01:02:29.660
[Spanish song: \"Antes muerta que sencilla\"]
01:02:40.020 --> 01:02:42.940
[Chilean song: \"Tren al sur\"]
01:03:20.060 --> 01:03:22.800
I\'m in Chile, alone again.
01:03:24.680 --> 01:03:27.340
I\'ve had a lot of time to think.
01:03:30.290 --> 01:03:34.810
To put into images
all that you mean to me.
01:03:45.460 --> 01:03:48.650
I\'ve started remembering
those summer evenings
01:03:48.660 --> 01:03:52.150
in which we would go
take a walk by the countryside.
01:04:00.420 --> 01:04:03.090
I don\'t know if you remember one day
01:04:03.120 --> 01:04:06.510
when we walked up the
Montgròs mountain with Montse.
01:04:08.880 --> 01:04:15.240
That, when going down, I started
feeling a strange pain under my belly.
01:04:20.360 --> 01:04:21.930
I didn\'t say anything.
01:04:22.640 --> 01:04:24.170
I remained quiet
01:04:25.200 --> 01:04:29.160
because I think I knew what it was.
01:04:33.600 --> 01:04:37.980
When we got home,
my panties were stained
01:04:38.760 --> 01:04:40.530
and I hid them.
01:04:43.440 --> 01:04:45.100
You found them
01:04:46.480 --> 01:04:48.990
and I don\'t remember a word
01:04:50.460 --> 01:04:56.900
but it\'s clear to me
that you came and hugged me.
01:05:00.400 --> 01:05:01.730
Zoila
01:05:02.840 --> 01:05:08.240
now I understand your silence
when I\'d introduce you as my nanny.
01:05:12.440 --> 01:05:16.060
If I could go back to when I was seven
01:05:16.760 --> 01:05:19.630
I\'d tell my classmates
01:05:20.320 --> 01:05:22.890
that you are also my mom.
01:05:26.800 --> 01:05:28.380
Hello!
01:05:29.520 --> 01:05:31.290
Hi, Isi!
01:05:31.960 --> 01:05:33.470
Come!
01:05:38.880 --> 01:05:40.180
Mommy!
01:05:40.640 --> 01:05:43.560
Hi! How are you?
01:05:44.320 --> 01:05:47.980
I\'m good, it\'s hot here.
- It\'s been a long time...
01:05:47.980 --> 01:05:49.280
My love...
01:05:49.280 --> 01:05:51.810
Do you have to go to work?
01:05:51.840 --> 01:05:55.850
No, at all, I\'m on vacation now.
01:06:03.760 --> 01:06:05.850
Look, the wind stopped.
01:06:07.680 --> 01:06:10.450
And now it comes back.
- And now it comes back.
01:06:10.480 --> 01:06:12.070
Niki, come.
01:06:15.360 --> 01:06:17.510
What\'s this cute doggie doing?
01:06:18.400 --> 01:06:20.420
Do you want some tea?
01:06:23.960 --> 01:06:29.840
When my mom was young, she\'d feel left out
01:06:30.450 --> 01:06:34.750
because my grandma would act as my mother.
01:06:35.880 --> 01:06:39.310
So there was my mom,
my grandma and my other grandma.
01:06:39.920 --> 01:06:42.770
Then, there was my aunt, Anita.
01:06:44.400 --> 01:06:48.060
She\'d even wash my underwear.
-Right.
01:06:51.480 --> 01:06:53.320
Shall we sing?
-Yes.
01:06:54.000 --> 01:06:55.530
What shall we sing?
01:06:59.400 --> 01:07:00.790
Horse.
01:07:01.120 --> 01:07:06.930
Little white horse, take me out of here.
01:07:06.960 --> 01:07:12.650
Take me to my town where I was born.
01:07:12.680 --> 01:07:17.520
I have, I have, I have...
you have... nothing.
01:07:17.520 --> 01:07:21.640
Oh, how sweet!
-I have, I have...
01:07:29.350 --> 01:07:32.650
Mom was never good at hairstyling.
01:07:33.360 --> 01:07:37.440
So I remember that she\'d always dry our hair
01:07:37.440 --> 01:07:41.440
and you\'d come later
to make us buns and braid our hair
01:07:43.480 --> 01:07:46.640
and dad would take them apart when playing.
01:07:57.280 --> 01:08:01.460
Every wish we\'d make
for Christmas would be fulfilled.
01:08:05.480 --> 01:08:09.980
Mom and dad always wanted us
to have the perfect childhood
01:08:10.760 --> 01:08:14.540
because both of them
had a hard time during theirs.
01:08:16.840 --> 01:08:20.760
The first Christmas in Barcelona
I asked for you to get here
01:08:21.800 --> 01:08:24.020
and that happened too.
01:08:31.000 --> 01:08:37.070
It\'s easy when you have everything,
you don\'t question yourself anything.
01:08:38.560 --> 01:08:43.700
And all the doubts
and questions about my raising
01:08:44.760 --> 01:08:49.310
only started to come up
when mom and dad got separated.
01:08:53.920 --> 01:08:59.430
And that\'s why I came back
to Chile and looked for these tapes.
01:09:19.400 --> 01:09:22.800
If things had been different
01:09:23.600 --> 01:09:27.130
I wonder if I would\'ve
realized about your absence
01:09:27.480 --> 01:09:29.310
in these tapes.
01:09:33.480 --> 01:09:38.230
Or if, on the contrary,
I would\'ve looked the other way
01:09:39.320 --> 01:09:44.860
sticked to a unique idea of a family.
01:10:18.440 --> 01:10:22.770
If I would\'ve tried to eternally reproduce
01:10:24.120 --> 01:10:28.440
the way in which they
wanted to preserve our history.
01:10:31.080 --> 01:10:33.650
A world of fantasy and daydreaming
01:10:34.080 --> 01:10:36.470
where there was no place for you.
01:10:37.470 --> 01:10:39.780
Where you represented a fissure
01:10:41.030 --> 01:10:42.310
a question
01:10:44.840 --> 01:10:47.050
avoided for so many years.
01:10:50.120 --> 01:10:56.230
Hidden behind the \"Mrs. Andrea\",
that you still use to refer to mom.
01:10:57.760 --> 01:10:59.610
When truth is that
01:11:00.440 --> 01:11:02.830
you are her only best friend.
01:11:05.360 --> 01:11:08.990
The one whom she
even shares daughters with.
01:11:27.720 --> 01:11:30.910
They look good!
- Can I have one?
01:11:30.920 --> 01:11:33.320
Yes.
- I want one with sugar.
01:11:34.520 --> 01:11:35.910
Are they hot?
01:11:35.920 --> 01:11:37.250
A little bit.
01:11:38.560 --> 01:11:41.120
I started watching a chilean series.
01:11:41.120 --> 01:11:43.360
Which one?
- I don\'t remember, I\'m watching three.
01:11:43.360 --> 01:11:45.560
¡\"Chucha\"! [Chilean curse]
- \"Jolín\" [Spanish curse]
01:11:45.560 --> 01:11:50.160
- Are there any new actors?
Or just the typical ones?
01:11:50.160 --> 01:11:52.170
- I don\'t know if there are new ones
01:11:52.170 --> 01:11:54.370
since I don\'t know them...
01:11:55.040 --> 01:12:01.260
When I watch \"Rojo y Miel\", I get
really sad, because I see Felipe Camiroaga...
01:12:01.280 --> 01:12:03.360
How would he
even think in that moment
01:12:03.360 --> 01:12:06.750
being so successful
when he was in that soap opera
01:12:06.760 --> 01:12:08.990
that he was going to die, Zoila?
01:12:10.040 --> 01:12:11.190
Pear juice!
01:12:14.870 --> 01:12:17.440
Pear juice?
- And how did Zoila remember that you like it?
01:12:17.440 --> 01:12:20.040
Because I know my girls, what they drink.
01:12:20.680 --> 01:12:23.680
You see? She knows everything from memory.
01:12:31.640 --> 01:12:33.060
This was in Chile.
01:12:34.040 --> 01:12:37.730
Montse looks like... the way she\'s sitting.
- Yes.
01:12:40.160 --> 01:12:42.980
She looks like...
- Like a midget,
01:12:43.320 --> 01:12:45.240
with short little legs.
01:12:49.920 --> 01:12:53.640
That jacket was surely yours.
I\'d always inherit your clothes.
01:12:53.640 --> 01:12:56.390
What does Gabriela have on her nose?
01:12:57.560 --> 01:12:59.240
I don\'t know.
-Let\'s see.
01:13:01.760 --> 01:13:04.000
I don\'t know.
-I don\'t know, who knows...
01:13:09.480 --> 01:13:13.370
You have this all tangled up.
-Yes, it was Montse.
01:13:13.720 --> 01:13:18.000
Yeah, right. It was you,
you got it all tangled up by yourself.
01:13:18.840 --> 01:13:20.150
Montse!
01:13:27.200 --> 01:13:29.400
Are you wearing hair gel?
-Yes.
01:13:31.080 --> 01:13:32.440
Foam.
01:13:37.320 --> 01:13:39.420
It should be here.
01:13:47.240 --> 01:13:48.800
You look tanned.
01:13:54.900 --> 01:13:56.150
Yes, I always do.
01:13:56.960 --> 01:13:58.150
I envy you.
01:13:59.640 --> 01:14:00.850
All year long.
01:14:01.880 --> 01:14:04.840
How does it go, Zoila?
- There\'s a fly...
01:14:04.840 --> 01:14:07.270
that doesn\'t know how to swim.
01:14:09.640 --> 01:14:15.070
It\'s a very hairy fly,
that doesn\'t know how to swim.
01:14:15.080 --> 01:14:16.360
How does it go, Zoila?
01:14:16.360 --> 01:14:19.960
There\'s a fly that doesn\'t know how to swim.
01:14:22.400 --> 01:14:27.920
It\'s a very hairy fly,
it doesn\'t know how to swim.
01:14:30.360 --> 01:14:33.500
Zoila, now I\'m far away.
01:14:35.270 --> 01:14:39.280
It\'s the second time that we
are separated for such a long time
01:14:39.280 --> 01:14:41.830
but now we\'re in inverse places.
01:14:52.900 --> 01:14:55.750
I learned to make \"calzones rotos\".
01:14:58.860 --> 01:15:01.310
The ones you\'ve always made for me.
01:15:05.770 --> 01:15:07.600
I\'ll send you a picture.
Distributor: Pragda Films
Length: 75 minutes
Date: 2021
Genre: Expository
Language: Spanish
Grade: Middle School, High School, College, Adults
Color/BW:
Closed Captioning: Available
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