Ten imprisoned women organize a theater play that might serve both as…
Malqueridas
- Description
- Reviews
- Citation
- Cataloging
- Transcript
View on the Pragda STREAM site
An intimate exploration of life inside a Chilean women’s prison, where incarcerated mothers are allowed to keep their children with them until the age of two. After this point, the mothers lose control over who cares for their children and whether they can maintain contact with them.
The documentary is constructed entirely from clandestinely shot cell phone footage and still photographs taken by the inmates themselves, providing an unfiltered and deeply personal perspective on their experiences. Through these fragmented visuals, the film captures the daily struggles of more than 20 mothers.
Director Tana Gilbert’s decision to preserve the original vertical format of the footage and re-digitize it to create a physical presence underscores the film’s commitment to authenticity.
Themes of motherhood, powerlessness, longing, and resilience are interwoven with moments of mutual support and affection among the prisoners, highlighting how solidarity becomes a form of resistance and empowerment.
“An example of Sisterhood’s formidable strengths.” – Kees Driessen, Business Doc Europe
“An anthem of human, maternal, cinematographic resistance” – Antonio Maiorino, Taxidrivers
“The strength of Malqueridas lies right on the boundary between vision and blindness, the same that separates forced isolation from the idea of a city.” – Michele Faggi, Indie-Eye Cinema
“Because its subject is vertiginous, because its formal approach is masterful, a radical gesture that makes the off-screen come to life and shows us only the details, the blurred image, the stolen pixels. Narrative and set-up are at the service of the witnesses. The director puts us side by side with the incarcerated women, without passing any judgment on their value, and this is a prowess of cinema’s poetic license” - Jury statement, Settimana Internazionale della Critica 2023
“Malqueridas is so full of incident and emotion that it could be a Charles Dickens novel, but these are real people. The film gives a face and voice to the unseen, allowing the viewer to glimpse the humanity of the inmates and care about all the heartbreak they endure.” – Allan Hunter, Screen International
“A view of this world that is more intimate and prisoner-led than what is usually depicted in movies about jail life.” – Carmen Gray, The Film Verdict
“Tana Gilbert has signed a work of annihilating and aching beauty, which manages to become even utopian; among the first works seen at the Venice Lido one of the most convincing, and courageous.” – Raffaele Meale, Quinlan
Citation
Main credits
Fernández, Tana Gilbert (film director)
Fernández, Tana Gilbert (screenwriter)
Castillo, Paola (film producer)
Manthey, Dirk (film producer)
Other credits
Editing, Javiera Velozo, Tana Gilbert Fernández.
Distributor subjects
Women; Criminal Justice; Human Rights; Anthropology; Sociology; South America; Latin American Studies; FamilyKeywords
Malqueridas,Tana Gilbert,documentary,Chile,jail,motherhood,women,woman,prison,mobile phones,human rights,women,womanhood,gender,girl,girlhood,mother,motherhood,female,cis woman,cis female,trans woman,trans female,women’s rights,women’s issues,lady,ladies,gentlewoman,madame,miss,missus,mrs.,dame,damsel,ingenue,lass,maid,maiden,belle,gal,ladyfriend,girlfriend,dear,darling,widow,matron,dowager,gender,gender equality,gender pay gap,women’s liberation,women’s rights,criminal justice,crime,judiciary,police reform,corrections,criminal law,judicial system,justice department,prosecution,judgement,criminal law,courts and corrections,corrections institutes,human rights,public rights,equal rights,freedom of expression,basic human rights,united nations,activism,human rights activism,human rights council,human rights commission,universal human rights,universal rights,anthropologically,cultural anthropology,forensic anthropology,anthropologist,human nature,physical anthropology,ethnocentric,ethnography,functionalism,cultures,societies,human people,human society,functionalism,globalization,ideology,pragmatism,dogmatism,social change,society,sociology,anthropology,psychology,sociological,sociological perspectives,conflict theory,human conflicts,sociological thinking,conflict perspective,topics in sociology,sociology topics,sociology studies,social studies,people and cultures,human relations,human relationships,cultural studies,culture studies ,south america,south american countries,countries in south america,argentina,bolivia,brazil,chile,colombia,ecuador,guyana,paraguay,peru,suriname,uruguay,venezuela,south american politics,south american culture,south american cuisine,south american education,south america in media,south american languages,south america history,latin american studies,caribbean american studies,island studies,latin american culture,latin american history,latin american politics,caribbean american culture,caribbean american history,caribbean american politics,latin american languages,latin american and caribbean studies,hispanic american studies,hispanic people,hispanic culture,hispanic politics,family,kin,fellowship,household,immediate family,extended family,multigenerational family,multigenerational household,kinfolk,family tree,genealogy,nuclear family,modern family,family tree; "Malqueridas"; Pragda Films; "Malqueridas";
WEBVTT
00:00:51.000 --> 00:01:00.000
The images in this film were created
with cell phones by women serving time in prison.
00:01:00.002 --> 00:01:10.002
According to Chilean prison regulations,
it is forbidden to have recording devices in prison.
00:01:16.007 --> 00:01:27.007
Most of these images were
destined to be seized or lost.
00:01:40.768 --> 00:01:42.853
Go to sleep baby.
00:01:47.983 --> 00:01:51.112
♪ Little white horse,
00:01:52.530 --> 00:01:55.242
Take me away from here,
00:01:57.660 --> 00:02:00.872
Take me to my village,
00:02:01.788 --> 00:02:04.375
Where I was born.
00:02:06.043 --> 00:02:09.213
I have, I have, I have,
00:02:10.298 --> 00:02:13.635
You have nothing,
00:02:15.762 --> 00:02:19.140
I have three sheep
00:02:19.807 --> 00:02:22.977
In a hut ♪
00:03:24.538 --> 00:03:27.958
We were allowed to keep them
until they turned two.
00:03:29.460 --> 00:03:31.503
The guard...
00:03:31.922 --> 00:03:34.090
...always told us,
00:03:34.798 --> 00:03:38.343
“You either keep the baby here,
or send him outside.”
00:03:40.472 --> 00:03:42.973
Those are your only options.
00:04:08.875 --> 00:04:10.960
Like this.
00:04:27.893 --> 00:04:30.228
How does that crazy tongue go?
00:04:36.860 --> 00:04:38.947
Laugh out loud.
00:04:56.338 --> 00:04:58.548
He liked to be with me.
00:05:00.300 --> 00:05:03.220
It was hard to get him
to sleep in the crib.
00:05:04.013 --> 00:05:06.473
I’d lay him down
with me in my bed.
00:05:16.358 --> 00:05:19.612
At night, he’d put
his little foot on my waist.
00:05:20.153 --> 00:05:22.990
He loved to put
his mouth on my face.
00:05:23.573 --> 00:05:26.702
He liked my smell, the warmth.
00:05:29.372 --> 00:05:31.457
My baby was so cuddly.
00:05:42.135 --> 00:05:44.428
I’d lay him in bed next to me,
00:05:44.887 --> 00:05:48.515
and I’d move to the bed\'s side
so he could have all of it.
00:05:48.767 --> 00:05:51.060
He followed me everywhere.
00:05:53.353 --> 00:05:55.440
He liked to feel his mommy.
00:05:56.482 --> 00:05:58.483
I think that must be it.
00:06:45.823 --> 00:06:49.452
When the guard came to
lock us up each afternoon,
00:06:49.535 --> 00:06:53.413
the boy already knew
the sound of the keys.
00:06:54.290 --> 00:06:56.792
He knew right away
we’d be locked up.
00:06:59.170 --> 00:07:01.922
He’d say:
“No, Mama!”
00:07:03.132 --> 00:07:05.342
He didn’t want to be locked up.
00:07:22.235 --> 00:07:23.945
Once we...
00:07:24.028 --> 00:07:26.238
...were in the room,
00:07:27.198 --> 00:07:29.242
he’d call to the corporal,
00:07:29.242 --> 00:07:32.578
“Corporal! Corporal!”
to open the door for him.
00:07:37.375 --> 00:07:39.918
He’d cry himself to sleep.
00:07:44.465 --> 00:07:47.885
We\'d be locked in the nursery
until the next day.
00:08:30.343 --> 00:08:34.932
... happy birthday to you!
00:08:35.265 --> 00:08:37.518
Bravo!
00:08:38.643 --> 00:08:42.648
Blow out the candles,
blow out the candles!
00:08:47.695 --> 00:08:50.530
Blow them out!
00:08:52.157 --> 00:08:54.202
Bravo!
00:08:55.285 --> 00:08:59.457
Take a bite! Take a bite!
00:09:31.405 --> 00:09:34.325
My sister committed
to taking care of him.
00:09:37.787 --> 00:09:40.790
She was the only one
in my family who could.
00:09:41.457 --> 00:09:43.667
She had a job,
00:09:43.750 --> 00:09:46.837
and I always saw her
as responsible.
00:09:48.672 --> 00:09:51.133
My daughter
already lived with her.
00:09:58.098 --> 00:10:00.350
Our last night together
00:10:00.600 --> 00:10:02.728
I stayed up watching him.
00:10:05.605 --> 00:10:08.858
He was sleeping,
but he didn’t let go of my hand.
00:10:09.610 --> 00:10:11.612
My baby.
00:10:16.950 --> 00:10:19.162
We played all morning,
00:10:20.037 --> 00:10:22.205
until he was picked up.
00:10:39.515 --> 00:10:42.352
My sister came to get him
with my older daughter.
00:10:43.143 --> 00:10:45.395
When she saw me, she asked,
00:10:45.395 --> 00:10:48.065
“Mommy, why don’t you
come with us?
00:10:48.148 --> 00:10:53.362
You always say time
goes by quickly, but it doesn’t”
00:10:58.950 --> 00:11:02.788
I told her that meanwhile she had
to take care of her little brother,
00:11:05.207 --> 00:11:08.043
and she told me
she’d never abandon him.
00:11:12.757 --> 00:11:15.508
He waved his little hand
and said goodbye.
00:11:21.182 --> 00:11:25.310
I only thought about
the 10 years I had left.
00:11:33.443 --> 00:11:37.363
The guard came to get me
to transfer me to another block.
00:14:43.883 --> 00:14:46.095
Hello my love!
00:14:47.638 --> 00:14:49.682
Hi son!
00:14:50.432 --> 00:14:52.810
- Hi.
- How are you?
00:14:55.645 --> 00:14:57.773
How are you, son?
00:15:00.067 --> 00:15:02.068
What are you up to?
00:15:08.867 --> 00:15:11.245
Did you do your homework?
00:15:19.168 --> 00:15:21.172
Juliano!
00:15:21.255 --> 00:15:24.048
- What?
- Did you do your homework?
00:15:25.508 --> 00:15:27.552
Let me talk to Amaro.
00:15:31.848 --> 00:15:33.850
Amaro!
00:15:34.602 --> 00:15:36.728
What are you up to, son?
00:15:40.815 --> 00:15:42.985
What are you doing, honey?
00:15:51.035 --> 00:15:53.787
Oh honey, don’t cry!
00:16:06.633 --> 00:16:08.677
Amaro!
00:16:30.407 --> 00:16:31.950
What are you doing?
00:16:31.950 --> 00:16:33.785
My hair’s a mess,
I was cleaning.
00:16:33.785 --> 00:16:35.995
Just wait for me!
00:17:21.125 --> 00:17:25.212
I remember how excited I
waited for their visit.
00:17:26.922 --> 00:17:29.467
That morning, I packed my bag,
00:17:30.092 --> 00:17:34.095
I got myself a thermos,
cups, tea, sugar...
00:17:34.888 --> 00:17:38.100
A friend even lent me an outfit
to look pretty.
00:17:44.147 --> 00:17:46.608
They were supposed
to arrive at 8:00 a.m.
00:17:53.365 --> 00:17:55.783
It was 9:00 a.m.
and still no arrival.
00:17:57.828 --> 00:17:59.538
A guard came and told me,
00:17:59.622 --> 00:18:03.250
“They went to pick up your son
and no one was there.”
00:18:27.315 --> 00:18:28.942
I called my sister,
00:18:28.942 --> 00:18:31.570
several times,
and she didn’t answer.
00:18:33.822 --> 00:18:36.700
After a long time,
she turned on her phone.
00:18:42.288 --> 00:18:45.542
When she answered
I realized she was on drugs.
00:18:48.587 --> 00:18:51.173
She told me my son woke up sick.
00:18:51.715 --> 00:18:55.593
I asked her what he had...
if he needed anything.
00:18:57.012 --> 00:18:59.347
But she played dumb,
00:18:59.430 --> 00:19:01.642
and didn’t let me talk to him.
00:19:05.562 --> 00:19:09.525
She started making it hard
for me to call my children.
00:19:11.527 --> 00:19:14.278
Until one day
she stopped answering.
00:19:36.968 --> 00:19:39.012
- There’s not a damn thing.
- Yes!
00:19:39.095 --> 00:19:41.473
There\'s some!
00:19:42.223 --> 00:19:44.308
There! Way in the distance.
00:19:45.352 --> 00:19:47.187
Hi Mom,
00:19:47.187 --> 00:19:49.397
we’re so far away, but even so,
00:19:49.397 --> 00:19:51.692
warm greetings from the heart.
00:19:52.192 --> 00:19:55.237
-That thing’s in the way.
- I can see them from here.
00:20:03.162 --> 00:20:05.205
You can see them from here!
00:20:05.288 --> 00:20:08.833
- Happy New Year.
- One less year.
00:20:10.168 --> 00:20:11.337
Look, Jessica!
00:20:11.378 --> 00:20:13.505
Watch the fireworks go off!
00:20:13.630 --> 00:20:15.965
Happy New Year, guard!
00:20:20.137 --> 00:20:24.265
Freedom, freedom
freedom, freedom!
00:21:43.803 --> 00:21:44.553
Monday,
00:21:44.930 --> 00:21:45.638
Tuesday,
00:21:46.097 --> 00:21:46.723
Wednesday,
00:21:47.307 --> 00:21:47.973
Thursday,
00:21:48.517 --> 00:21:49.183
Friday,
00:21:49.685 --> 00:21:50.518
Saturday,
00:21:50.768 --> 00:21:51.520
Sunday,
00:21:52.395 --> 00:21:52.895
Monday,
00:21:53.230 --> 00:21:53.605
Tuesday,
00:21:54.063 --> 00:21:54.438
Wednesday,
00:21:54.940 --> 00:21:55.357
Thursday,
00:21:55.773 --> 00:21:56.232
Friday,
00:21:56.692 --> 00:21:57.233
Saturday,
00:21:57.483 --> 00:21:57.900
Sunday,
00:21:58.318 --> 00:21:58.610
January,
00:21:58.777 --> 00:21:59.235
Monday,
00:21:59.360 --> 00:21:59.610
February,
00:21:59.695 --> 00:22:00.112
Tuesday,
00:22:00.528 --> 00:22:00.695
March,
00:22:00.737 --> 00:22:00.987
Wednesday,
00:22:01.447 --> 00:22:01.655
April,
00:22:01.780 --> 00:22:01.947
Thursday,
00:22:02.322 --> 00:22:02.530
May,
00:22:02.697 --> 00:22:02.947
Friday,
00:22:03.282 --> 00:22:03.448
June,
00:22:03.532 --> 00:22:03.990
Saturday,
00:22:04.240 --> 00:22:04.490
July,
00:22:04.532 --> 00:22:04.783
Sunday,
00:22:05.283 --> 00:22:05.658
August,
00:22:06.325 --> 00:22:06.827
September,
00:22:06.868 --> 00:22:07.368
Monday,
00:22:07.452 --> 00:22:07.743
October,
00:22:07.827 --> 00:22:08.120
Tuesday,
00:22:08.578 --> 00:22:08.912
November,
00:22:08.953 --> 00:22:09.203
Wednesday,
00:22:09.578 --> 00:22:09.872
December,
00:22:09.955 --> 00:22:10.247
Thursday,
00:22:10.580 --> 00:22:10.913
January,
00:22:10.997 --> 00:22:11.415
Friday,
00:22:11.707 --> 00:22:11.957
February,
00:22:12.040 --> 00:22:12.498
Saturday,
00:22:12.540 --> 00:22:12.832
March,
00:22:12.873 --> 00:22:13.292
Sunday,
00:22:13.500 --> 00:22:13.958
April,
00:22:14.042 --> 00:22:14.542
Monday,
00:22:14.752 --> 00:22:15.043
May,
00:22:15.127 --> 00:22:15.460
Tuesday,
00:22:16.043 --> 00:22:16.252
June,
00:22:16.293 --> 00:22:16.503
Wednesday,
00:22:17.170 --> 00:22:17.378
July,
00:22:17.420 --> 00:22:17.670
Thursday,
00:22:18.130 --> 00:22:18.422
August,
00:22:18.463 --> 00:22:18.672
Friday,
00:22:19.005 --> 00:22:19.338
September,
00:22:19.422 --> 00:22:19.757
Saturday,
00:22:20.298 --> 00:22:20.673
Sunday,
00:22:20.757 --> 00:22:21.048
October,
00:22:21.340 --> 00:22:21.717
November,
00:22:22.258 --> 00:22:23.008
December.
00:22:43.238 --> 00:22:44.447
Some people there,
00:22:44.530 --> 00:22:46.742
you give them
a little affection,
00:22:46.825 --> 00:22:49.035
and they cling to you.
00:22:50.828 --> 00:22:53.832
Like when you pet
a puppy on the head.
00:22:56.418 --> 00:22:58.545
That\'s how we felt,
00:22:58.628 --> 00:23:00.630
do you believe me?
00:23:31.912 --> 00:23:33.622
It was a winter day,
00:23:34.163 --> 00:23:38.000
I remember Maca was shivering
in sandals and shorts.
00:23:39.962 --> 00:23:43.965
I asked her if she wanted to
borrow some clothes.
00:23:45.175 --> 00:23:47.427
I offered her to
put the beds together
00:23:47.677 --> 00:23:49.762
to be a little warmer.
00:23:56.478 --> 00:23:58.897
While sleeping,
00:23:58.980 --> 00:24:01.357
she suddenly said to me,
00:24:01.900 --> 00:24:04.485
\"Hey, wake up.\"
00:24:06.070 --> 00:24:08.532
And a bit scared,
I said, “What is it?”
00:24:09.448 --> 00:24:11.827
I thought the guard had come in.
00:24:12.660 --> 00:24:15.455
And when I moved in,
00:24:16.122 --> 00:24:18.250
she kissed me,
00:24:18.333 --> 00:24:20.668
and I kissed her back.
00:24:28.593 --> 00:24:31.930
I remember that night
I finally touched her hair.
00:24:33.307 --> 00:24:35.433
I’d always looked at it,
00:24:35.517 --> 00:24:37.602
It was so beautiful,
00:24:38.687 --> 00:24:42.440
it was curly and past her waist.
00:24:46.945 --> 00:24:49.447
I’d just come from
a terrible relationship,
00:24:49.907 --> 00:24:52.033
I’d given so much.
00:25:02.168 --> 00:25:04.753
I told Maca everything,
00:25:04.837 --> 00:25:07.590
she knew my most
intimate secrets.
00:25:12.262 --> 00:25:16.933
I told her that it wasn’t my kids\'
father who got me into crime,
00:25:17.558 --> 00:25:19.685
but that I started
when I was little.
00:25:20.728 --> 00:25:22.480
And I did well
00:25:22.563 --> 00:25:24.523
so I kept doing the same thing.
00:25:30.488 --> 00:25:32.448
Show what movie we’re watching.
00:25:32.448 --> 00:25:34.825
We’re watching
a very good movie,
00:25:35.493 --> 00:25:37.245
with my sweetie.
00:25:37.328 --> 00:25:39.163
Right, baby?
00:25:39.830 --> 00:25:42.250
It’s so cold,
we’re warm in here.
00:25:42.917 --> 00:25:44.293
Yes it is.
00:25:44.377 --> 00:25:47.588
- Are you cold?
- No, not next to you.
00:25:48.590 --> 00:25:50.758
You’re my human heater.
00:25:59.892 --> 00:26:02.687
- Give me a kiss.
- I’m falling asleep.
00:26:06.273 --> 00:26:07.608
I can’t...
00:26:07.692 --> 00:26:11.153
- I’m covered all the way up.
- Look baby!
00:26:13.532 --> 00:26:15.700
Hello!
00:26:18.370 --> 00:26:21.832
- Let’s see.
- You’re so hot.
00:26:24.208 --> 00:26:26.252
I\'m hungry.
00:26:27.045 --> 00:26:29.213
Let\'s go eat!
00:26:36.428 --> 00:26:38.640
- Come on!
- Give me a kiss.
00:26:40.350 --> 00:26:41.643
And another.
00:26:52.487 --> 00:26:54.697
This is the best part.
00:27:05.458 --> 00:27:08.337
- Do we have a lighter, baby?
- I don’t know.
00:27:14.383 --> 00:27:15.510
The cops!
00:27:17.428 --> 00:27:20.098
The fucking cops
are at the door!
00:27:20.182 --> 00:27:22.225
They\'re at the door!
00:27:38.198 --> 00:27:40.285
Hide the phone!
00:27:44.163 --> 00:27:46.332
- Are you recording?
- I have been for a while.
00:27:46.415 --> 00:27:47.917
Very good.
00:27:48.000 --> 00:27:49.293
I\'ll talk.
00:27:49.377 --> 00:27:51.628
I know what
I’m going to say.
00:27:54.215 --> 00:27:58.845
This is the mess
the police left after the raid,
00:27:58.845 --> 00:28:01.513
and we’re still
picking things up.
00:28:04.933 --> 00:28:08.145
And we continue
picking things up.
00:28:14.985 --> 00:28:18.657
Look what a fucking mess
the cops left,
00:28:18.740 --> 00:28:20.783
now it’s neatened up.
00:28:22.202 --> 00:28:24.578
They broke the mirrors,
00:28:25.872 --> 00:28:28.625
they had no mercy on anything.
00:28:29.250 --> 00:28:31.585
We can\'t be here anymore.
00:28:34.130 --> 00:28:35.173
- Guard!
- Shut up!
00:28:35.173 --> 00:28:36.632
The phone!
00:28:36.715 --> 00:28:38.760
Hide the phone!
00:28:59.655 --> 00:29:01.950
María!
00:29:17.923 --> 00:29:20.177
The first time
I was in an isolation cell,
00:29:20.802 --> 00:29:23.137
it was the middle of winter.
00:29:25.598 --> 00:29:28.685
The guard was so mean,
she threw water inside.
00:29:29.935 --> 00:29:32.397
At night we slept
in wet clothes.
00:29:37.360 --> 00:29:40.447
Every day they put us
out in the yard.
00:29:42.073 --> 00:29:44.450
As if it were a raid.
00:29:48.287 --> 00:29:50.540
We had to drop our pants,
00:29:51.415 --> 00:29:53.458
get down on all fours,
00:29:54.210 --> 00:29:58.463
we had spread our buttocks
to see if we hid something.
00:30:06.805 --> 00:30:08.808
Sister!
00:30:09.600 --> 00:30:12.228
When they locked us back up,
00:30:12.312 --> 00:30:14.730
Jaque was in
the cell next door.
00:30:16.148 --> 00:30:19.193
She was in rough shape,
she started talking to me,
00:30:20.487 --> 00:30:23.532
“Sister, I don’t want
to be alone here,” she’d say.
00:30:24.698 --> 00:30:27.785
And I wanted her to shut up,
I wanted to sleep.
00:30:35.543 --> 00:30:38.295
At one point,
I stopped hearing her.
00:30:41.340 --> 00:30:44.510
I started calling to her because
I got a little worried,
00:30:45.803 --> 00:30:47.805
but she didn\'t answer.
00:30:50.182 --> 00:30:52.268
I thought she’d fallen asleep.
00:31:08.117 --> 00:31:10.287
The next morning
00:31:12.205 --> 00:31:14.582
I woke by the guard\'s
shouts asking for help
00:31:14.582 --> 00:31:17.043
because Jaque had
hanged herself.
00:31:32.808 --> 00:31:35.562
I immediately
thought about my kids.
00:31:36.478 --> 00:31:38.982
I wanted to know how they were.
00:32:26.195 --> 00:32:29.198
I remember that a few days
after I got out of isolation cell
00:32:29.532 --> 00:32:33.077
I was in the yard and a guard
came looking for me.
00:32:35.120 --> 00:32:37.623
The family court was notifying me
00:32:37.707 --> 00:32:41.002
that they had taken
my children to a foster home.
00:32:41.085 --> 00:32:43.378
My sister gave them up.
00:32:47.383 --> 00:32:49.177
The last time I talked to her,
00:32:49.260 --> 00:32:52.763
she said she was tired
of watching other people’s kids.
00:32:52.847 --> 00:32:54.515
But I never thought
she was capable
00:32:54.598 --> 00:32:56.725
of surrendering them.
00:33:17.955 --> 00:33:22.043
I asked to speak
with my social worker
00:33:22.127 --> 00:33:25.170
to see what could I do
for them.
00:33:26.588 --> 00:33:29.300
She told me \"you can\'t
do anything...
00:33:29.383 --> 00:33:32.803
... because you’re incarcerated,
00:33:32.887 --> 00:33:36.598
so you\'ll have to keep
your head down,
00:33:36.682 --> 00:33:39.393
and wait until
you’re out on parole.”
00:33:41.312 --> 00:33:43.522
How much longer until then?
00:34:34.698 --> 00:34:37.785
Some time later their
father was released,
00:34:38.577 --> 00:34:40.622
he’d been in jail too.
00:34:41.247 --> 00:34:46.085
I thought, once he\'s out,
he\'ll go for the kids.
00:34:49.588 --> 00:34:52.550
After a few months,
regained his footing
00:34:52.550 --> 00:34:55.928
got a stable place,
and was able to take the kids.
00:35:14.655 --> 00:35:16.865
We didn’t get along very well.
00:35:17.992 --> 00:35:20.620
When he got out
he asked to get back together.
00:35:21.078 --> 00:35:23.832
When I said no,
he was really upset.
00:35:25.332 --> 00:35:26.792
And...
00:35:26.875 --> 00:35:29.420
...he wouldn’t let me
talk to the kids.
00:35:40.055 --> 00:35:43.935
There was a guard
at the perimeter,
00:35:44.643 --> 00:35:48.522
a pathway around
the whole prison.
00:35:49.023 --> 00:35:51.817
They patrol it
to keep you from escaping.
00:35:55.028 --> 00:35:57.823
One of those guards knew me.
00:35:57.907 --> 00:35:59.658
He was one of my neighbors,
00:35:59.742 --> 00:36:03.328
he knew my family, my mother,
and little bit of my story.
00:36:06.915 --> 00:36:10.377
He gestured to my window,
00:36:10.460 --> 00:36:13.338
to give him my
telephone number.
00:36:13.422 --> 00:36:16.883
I wrote it down,
and showed it to him.
00:36:19.053 --> 00:36:21.138
Then I started getting
WhatsApp messages,
00:36:21.222 --> 00:36:24.183
with pictures of the kids,
and videos,
00:36:25.852 --> 00:36:28.103
He’d say, “Neighbor,
00:36:28.145 --> 00:36:30.438
your kids miss you.
00:36:31.898 --> 00:36:34.818
They love you and
they send you kisses.”
00:36:44.537 --> 00:36:46.872
- But, look over there.
- He’s embarrassed.
00:36:46.872 --> 00:36:48.040
Look at your mom.
00:36:48.040 --> 00:36:51.043
- Say hi to your mom.
- Hi Mom.
00:36:51.460 --> 00:36:54.088
- Ask her how she is.
- How are you?
00:36:56.340 --> 00:36:58.717
Be good, Mommy!
00:36:58.800 --> 00:37:01.345
“I’m happy here,
and I behave”.
00:37:01.428 --> 00:37:04.015
“They take care of me
and give me lots of love”.
00:37:04.098 --> 00:37:06.933
- “I go to school”.
- I go to school.
00:37:08.352 --> 00:37:09.853
Tell her you go to school...
00:37:09.937 --> 00:37:11.647
How do you behave at school?
00:37:11.730 --> 00:37:14.483
Tell her you’re going to
dress up as Puss in Boots...
00:37:15.483 --> 00:37:18.403
Tell her you’re going to
dress up as Puss in Boots.
00:37:18.403 --> 00:37:21.823
Mom, I have to go
as Puss in Boots...
00:37:23.450 --> 00:37:26.412
- “I’m going to act.”
- I’m going to act.
00:37:27.788 --> 00:37:31.458
- Tell her that you love her.
- Okay.
00:37:33.918 --> 00:37:36.338
Mommy, I love you.
00:37:36.422 --> 00:37:38.465
- Send her a kiss.
- How?
00:38:04.742 --> 00:38:09.705
Me and Maca, my partner at
the time, were not doing well.
00:38:11.123 --> 00:38:13.792
She was always high,
causing a mess.
00:38:15.002 --> 00:38:18.838
I kept having to save her,
so she wouldn’t get in trouble.
00:38:20.758 --> 00:38:24.053
Since things
were going downhill fast,
00:38:24.637 --> 00:38:26.638
I ended the relationship.
00:38:37.273 --> 00:38:40.652
The boss of
the neighboring dorm was Patty.
00:38:42.195 --> 00:38:45.742
She once came into the bathroom
and caught me cutting myself,
00:38:46.783 --> 00:38:50.370
and said, “Dumb kid,
cut that nonsense out.
00:38:51.080 --> 00:38:55.167
If you’re losing it,
pack your things and come over.
00:38:56.293 --> 00:38:58.753
At least
the girls and I are there,
00:39:00.172 --> 00:39:02.257
I\'ll take care of you.”
00:39:05.427 --> 00:39:07.930
So, over time, I moved there.
00:39:15.312 --> 00:39:18.440
I’d lie next to her,
she’d scratch my head.
00:39:19.608 --> 00:39:23.278
I’d fall asleep next to her,
it was warm.
00:39:24.738 --> 00:39:27.825
She’d give me advice on
what to do with my life.
00:39:36.833 --> 00:39:39.962
I heard the girls call her Mom,
00:39:40.712 --> 00:39:43.007
so I started
calling her that too.
00:39:43.423 --> 00:39:45.675
Mom.
00:39:48.220 --> 00:39:50.430
My jail mom.
00:40:18.250 --> 00:40:20.837
Patty wanted
to finish school.
00:40:22.128 --> 00:40:24.423
She was already in her 50s,
00:40:24.882 --> 00:40:26.925
so she was embarrassed.
00:40:28.218 --> 00:40:31.055
She’d say,
“I’m too old to go to school.”
00:40:31.722 --> 00:40:35.142
I supported her anyway,
I said, “Let’s go, Mom!”
00:40:40.480 --> 00:40:43.567
It also stood as
good conduct.
00:40:44.360 --> 00:40:48.655
In short she\'d be
eligible for parole.
00:40:51.492 --> 00:40:54.077
I remember we
stayed up at night studying.
00:40:54.912 --> 00:40:57.080
She was good at math.
00:40:58.123 --> 00:41:00.208
I didn’t know shit.
00:41:02.293 --> 00:41:04.672
I only made it to 10th grade.
00:41:40.958 --> 00:41:44.795
A few months later,
my jail mom was released.
00:41:47.297 --> 00:41:49.425
She made parole.
00:41:58.892 --> 00:42:02.520
When she left she told me,
“Daughter, you’re the eldest,
00:42:02.605 --> 00:42:04.732
so take care of the girls.\"
00:42:20.830 --> 00:42:23.667
What happened to all
the women in this house?
00:42:55.115 --> 00:42:58.868
The younger girls
slowly took over my bed.
00:43:02.080 --> 00:43:04.875
At around 11 p.m. the guard
turned off the lights.
00:43:05.333 --> 00:43:07.795
So, to hang out a little longer...
00:43:08.087 --> 00:43:10.255
I thought I’d make a candle,
00:43:11.215 --> 00:43:15.010
which was a stick
made of toilet paper and oil.
00:43:15.802 --> 00:43:18.180
And that gave us
some light at night.
00:43:23.060 --> 00:43:25.395
I used to
tell them scary stories,
00:43:25.437 --> 00:43:27.940
I loved to scare
the shit out of them.
00:43:35.738 --> 00:43:38.450
Someone always had to
go to the bathroom.
00:43:41.745 --> 00:43:44.623
We’d walk down the hallway,
which was super dark.
00:43:44.957 --> 00:43:47.668
You could hear
more joining the line.
00:43:48.043 --> 00:43:50.295
And then I would take
advantage of that to scare them.
00:43:50.378 --> 00:43:52.715
I would say to them, \"Oh, watch out,
00:43:52.715 --> 00:43:55.383
a ghost will grab your feet.\"
00:44:32.170 --> 00:44:35.548
There was a new girl
in the dorm named Mari,
00:44:37.050 --> 00:44:39.512
I think she was 18 or so.
00:44:40.970 --> 00:44:43.348
Her mother had just passed away.
00:44:43.848 --> 00:44:46.017
She was in bad shape...
00:44:46.935 --> 00:44:49.270
Because she didn’t get
to see her, or bury her,
00:44:49.270 --> 00:44:51.315
she didn’t get furlough.
00:44:57.445 --> 00:44:59.698
The girls came looking for me.
00:45:00.532 --> 00:45:02.868
I was the only one
she let near her.
00:45:03.368 --> 00:45:05.703
She didn’t want
anyone to touch her.
00:45:06.830 --> 00:45:10.250
So, I comforted her
to get her to fall asleep.
00:45:24.890 --> 00:45:27.517
I remember it was
a beautiful morning.
00:45:28.810 --> 00:45:31.397
I was having breakfast
in the room,
00:45:31.980 --> 00:45:34.442
when Mari walked in.
00:45:34.525 --> 00:45:37.068
She had a huge smile.
00:45:41.030 --> 00:45:44.075
I scratched her head and said,
“What are you up to?”
00:45:44.618 --> 00:45:47.370
She said,
“Can I ask you something?”
00:45:48.622 --> 00:45:51.040
“Can I call you Mom?”
00:45:54.335 --> 00:45:57.463
I hugged her and told her yes.
00:46:24.157 --> 00:46:27.243
The girls
have gotten into exercising
00:46:27.327 --> 00:46:29.580
to get out in great shape!
00:46:38.380 --> 00:46:41.133
At 9:00 p.m. you’re all
invited to go dancing.
00:46:41.217 --> 00:46:43.677
At 9:00 p.m. we’re going
dancing, hear me?
00:46:43.843 --> 00:46:46.095
You have to go dance!
00:47:06.115 --> 00:47:08.243
Anyone here have an ash tray?
00:47:10.912 --> 00:47:13.165
Do you have an ash tray,
\'aunt\' Dina?
00:47:15.042 --> 00:47:17.127
Here.
00:47:18.670 --> 00:47:20.797
I want my pipe!
00:47:22.715 --> 00:47:25.010
Here we are...
00:47:25.093 --> 00:47:27.553
Looking pretty.
00:47:29.263 --> 00:47:31.933
Get ready, we\'re going
to be on Facebook.
00:47:32.475 --> 00:47:35.937
Here we are, with the
girls of dorm 5.
00:47:36.020 --> 00:47:38.023
We\'re turned on!
00:47:38.107 --> 00:47:40.400
No?
00:47:40.483 --> 00:47:43.195
Yeah! Give it all!
00:48:27.613 --> 00:48:29.617
I’m in Europe!
00:49:56.327 --> 00:50:00.873
I think that
not seeing my children,
00:50:01.332 --> 00:50:03.627
led me to take in
the younger girls.
00:50:08.005 --> 00:50:10.967
When my daughter got
her first phone from her dad,
00:50:11.133 --> 00:50:13.512
I bought her prepaid data plans.
00:50:14.847 --> 00:50:16.890
I started calling her every day.
00:50:30.778 --> 00:50:33.490
One day her dad caught
her talking to me,
00:50:33.782 --> 00:50:35.617
and broke her phone.
00:50:37.118 --> 00:50:39.955
So, when he would get drunk,
00:50:40.288 --> 00:50:42.457
they would secretly
take his phone,
00:50:42.748 --> 00:50:44.292
to talk to me.
00:50:45.960 --> 00:50:49.297
“Mom, wait a minute,
I’m going to hide in the closet,
00:50:49.588 --> 00:50:51.550
so we can talk in peace.\"
00:51:03.812 --> 00:51:06.440
In one of those conversations
with my daughter,
00:51:07.107 --> 00:51:08.650
she asked me,
00:51:09.818 --> 00:51:11.612
“Hey Mom,
00:51:11.695 --> 00:51:13.947
who’s that Andrea
who posted
00:51:14.072 --> 00:51:16.492
on Facebook how much
she loved you?
00:51:20.412 --> 00:51:23.582
I explained her that Andrea
was my daughter, too.
00:51:29.587 --> 00:51:33.592
“Sure, so you left us
to be a mom to other people.”
00:51:40.432 --> 00:51:43.477
I tried to explain
that once I was out,
00:51:43.893 --> 00:51:46.187
we\'d be together forever.
00:52:35.195 --> 00:52:38.407
One day I went to get
a baby cologne
00:52:38.865 --> 00:52:41.450
and when I was walking
through the nursery
00:52:41.577 --> 00:52:43.118
I saw Andrea.
00:52:44.203 --> 00:52:46.205
She’d been arrested again.
00:52:47.373 --> 00:52:48.833
She was pregnant.
00:52:50.585 --> 00:52:53.588
I touched her belly
and gave her a little kiss.
00:52:59.427 --> 00:53:03.307
I told her, “When I’m free
and have a home...
00:53:03.682 --> 00:53:05.600
I’ll take you with me,
00:53:06.183 --> 00:53:08.520
so no more trouble, okay?”
00:53:10.105 --> 00:53:14.483
She said, “Yes Mommy, I want
to leave this life behind.”
00:53:22.700 --> 00:53:23.910
I...
00:53:25.120 --> 00:53:27.997
I feel that Andrea
and I are connected,
00:53:29.748 --> 00:53:34.462
I didn\'t give birth to her,
but it\'s as if I had.
00:54:02.157 --> 00:54:05.785
I waited years for the kids
to show up at Christmas.
00:54:07.037 --> 00:54:10.957
The girls and I would pitch in
and buy gifts in bulk.
00:54:14.127 --> 00:54:17.338
I tried to contact the
kids\' father several times,
00:54:17.422 --> 00:54:19.548
for him to bring them to me.
00:54:24.637 --> 00:54:27.015
I waited for seven years.
00:54:29.725 --> 00:54:31.268
The eighth year,
00:54:32.520 --> 00:54:35.398
they held the Christmas activity
00:54:36.065 --> 00:54:39.068
in the prison school courtyard.
00:54:41.697 --> 00:54:44.157
I was sitting
on one of the benches.
00:54:46.492 --> 00:54:47.993
And in the distance,
00:54:47.993 --> 00:54:51.915
I saw two big kids
walking hand in hand.
00:54:56.543 --> 00:54:58.295
They were my children.
00:55:56.103 --> 00:55:58.313
I didn’t know what to do...
00:55:58.773 --> 00:56:00.733
I didn’t know what to say.
00:56:08.825 --> 00:56:11.995
He hugged me and
kissed me, my baby.
00:56:14.705 --> 00:56:17.667
My daughter was
older, a young lady.
00:56:18.543 --> 00:56:22.297
I felt like I forced her
to grow up overnight.
00:56:24.173 --> 00:56:26.633
She wasn\'t into drugs yet.
00:56:31.430 --> 00:56:33.558
Then we went to a room,
00:56:34.308 --> 00:56:36.477
and the guard had to leave,
00:56:37.145 --> 00:56:39.063
and she left us alone.
00:56:40.648 --> 00:56:43.568
We spent the whole
afternoon together snuggling.
00:56:53.870 --> 00:56:56.497
Mom look, this is my bed.
00:56:57.915 --> 00:56:59.583
Okay? Okay, look.
00:56:59.917 --> 00:57:03.045
I\'m going to show you
the rest of the house.
00:57:03.212 --> 00:57:05.673
That was my bedroom.
00:57:06.800 --> 00:57:08.050
Okay, look.
00:57:08.843 --> 00:57:11.178
This is Uncle Nano\'s bedroom,
00:57:11.553 --> 00:57:14.348
who annoys me a lot because...
00:57:14.348 --> 00:57:15.808
I hate uncle Nano.
00:57:16.642 --> 00:57:18.060
And here,
00:57:18.853 --> 00:57:20.062
is the bathroom.
00:57:23.983 --> 00:57:26.027
Over here
00:57:26.027 --> 00:57:28.697
is the living and dining room.
00:57:28.697 --> 00:57:31.490
The living-dining room.
00:57:31.992 --> 00:57:33.618
I tell you later.
00:57:45.838 --> 00:57:47.215
My bed.
00:57:50.927 --> 00:57:54.680
My curtains, my plushies.
00:58:34.428 --> 00:58:36.430
On a cardboard calendar,
00:58:36.472 --> 00:58:39.433
I wrote down how many days
were left to leave.
00:58:48.525 --> 00:58:51.947
I was in my room all day,
I only went out to eat.
00:58:53.990 --> 00:58:57.410
I was afraid
of ending up in trouble.
00:58:59.828 --> 00:59:01.788
I didn\'t even take pills.
00:59:07.087 --> 00:59:09.755
They’d frame you
for anything, in there.
00:59:11.215 --> 00:59:14.427
I was afraid the guards
would frame me for drugs,
00:59:15.470 --> 00:59:17.388
of getting in a fight,
00:59:19.140 --> 00:59:23.352
or that there\'d be a shit-show
and I wouldn’t be able to leave.
00:59:28.942 --> 00:59:31.027
When my birthday passed,
00:59:31.068 --> 00:59:33.780
I said this is the last one.
01:01:12.087 --> 01:01:14.422
I was close to being released.
01:01:16.465 --> 01:01:19.010
It was Thursday morning
and the corporal called me
01:01:19.010 --> 01:01:21.262
because I had
an authorized visit.
01:01:24.223 --> 01:01:27.060
I thought it was strange,
who would come visit me?
01:01:35.693 --> 01:01:38.653
In the office were my sister
and my ex sister-in-law.
01:01:42.575 --> 01:01:45.243
When I saw my sister, I said,
\"What are you doing here?
01:01:45.243 --> 01:01:47.372
I don’t ever want
to see you again.”
01:01:50.833 --> 01:01:52.960
My sister cried
and looked at me.
01:01:56.338 --> 01:01:57.507
My ex sister-in-law said
01:01:57.507 --> 01:01:59.800
“Lucho was hit by a car
on Alameda Ave.”
01:02:03.972 --> 01:02:06.265
Since my kids’ father
was a pickpocket,
01:02:06.807 --> 01:02:10.853
I thought he was hit while
stealing someone’s necklace.
01:02:11.770 --> 01:02:14.523
So I said, “Go figure...”
01:02:18.903 --> 01:02:20.947
I thought about my kids,
01:02:21.363 --> 01:02:23.490
They’d be all alone.
01:02:24.117 --> 01:02:26.452
Who would take care
of them now?
01:02:35.168 --> 01:02:37.422
The guard interrupted us
and said,
01:02:38.672 --> 01:02:40.758
“Do you want to go
to the infirmary?
01:02:41.467 --> 01:02:43.302
Do you want an injection?
01:02:44.845 --> 01:02:47.432
I’m sorry that your son
was run over.”
01:02:53.603 --> 01:02:58.025
And I looked at her and said,
\"What are you talking about?
01:02:58.902 --> 01:03:01.612
If my son died,
my life would be over.”
01:03:09.537 --> 01:03:11.538
My sister kept crying.
01:03:13.833 --> 01:03:16.252
She said,
“Please sister, forgive me,
01:03:19.630 --> 01:03:21.965
Little Lucho was hit.
01:03:26.053 --> 01:03:28.222
A bus driver changed his route,
01:03:28.388 --> 01:03:31.600
the child was crossing, and got
caught in the back wheels.
01:03:36.813 --> 01:03:38.815
He didn\'t suffer.\"
01:03:54.457 --> 01:03:58.127
My daughter sent me a letter
asking for forgiveness.
01:03:58.835 --> 01:04:01.505
I told her
there was nothing to forgive.
01:04:03.007 --> 01:04:05.718
A child can’t
take care of another.
01:06:12.553 --> 01:06:13.220
Pancha.
01:06:13.303 --> 01:06:14.097
Gema.
01:06:14.180 --> 01:06:15.097
Jana, Esme.
01:06:15.180 --> 01:06:15.765
Yeral.
01:06:15.848 --> 01:06:16.682
Nicole, Aynara.
01:06:16.765 --> 01:06:17.767
Javiera, Carolita.
01:06:17.850 --> 01:06:18.933
Cristal, Ana.
01:06:19.477 --> 01:06:20.018
Mari.
01:06:20.102 --> 01:06:21.020
Ángel.
01:06:21.103 --> 01:06:22.397
Jessica.
01:06:23.272 --> 01:06:24.232
Jaque.
01:06:24.315 --> 01:06:24.898
Dayana, Adriana.
01:06:24.982 --> 01:06:26.400
Bárbara.
01:06:27.402 --> 01:06:28.152
Yesenia.
01:06:28.360 --> 01:06:29.903
Yennsy, Solange.
01:06:29.987 --> 01:06:31.447
Paty, Eugenia.
01:06:31.530 --> 01:06:32.532
Adriana.
01:06:33.073 --> 01:06:33.990
Dani.
01:06:34.075 --> 01:06:34.783
Nicole.
01:06:34.867 --> 01:06:35.533
Dominique.
01:06:56.472 --> 01:06:58.473
When I was in labor,
01:06:58.557 --> 01:07:01.102
they cuffed me and...
01:07:01.768 --> 01:07:04.147
my heart started racing.
01:07:12.362 --> 01:07:15.282
I told the doctor I felt ill.
01:07:15.365 --> 01:07:19.745
He said, “Shut up, stupid,
that’s from drug use.”
01:07:20.662 --> 01:07:22.288
I told him I didn’t do drugs.
01:07:22.330 --> 01:07:23.832
And he replied,
01:07:23.957 --> 01:07:27.252
“All you prison bitches
are drug addicts.\"
01:07:56.740 --> 01:08:00.160
The guard raced
to the ward to see her.
01:08:00.243 --> 01:08:03.163
She took photos of her
to show me.
01:08:05.498 --> 01:08:08.752
I couldn\'t see her
until the next day.
01:08:20.180 --> 01:08:22.432
When I got her,
I asked the midwife,
01:08:22.517 --> 01:08:24.685
\"This is my baby, right?\"
01:08:25.435 --> 01:08:26.728
And like a puppy,
01:08:26.728 --> 01:08:29.815
she started looking
for the teat with her nose.
01:08:38.157 --> 01:08:40.868
Now she\'s here with me.
01:09:51.000 --> 01:09:57.000
This story brings together
the experiencesof different women
01:09:57.002 --> 01:10:02.002
who lived their motherhood in prison.
Distributor: Pragda Films
Length: 74 minutes
Date: 2023
Genre: Expository
Language: Spanish
Grade: College, Adult
Color/BW:
Closed Captioning: Available
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